WEBVTT - Communication is Key 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:16.320 and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:19.480 on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.239 episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. So this week is 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.360 part two of Just Fix My Mess Now. I had 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:29.080 my fans and supporters and all the avid Carefully Reckless 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:33.840 listeners send me their inquiries for advice that they need 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:36.680 to send me your experiences from the past, the president, 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:38.040 or what you feel like you're going to be dealing 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:41.760 with in the future. If I can provide any fixations 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:44.159 for your mess, I will. That's why it's called Just 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:48.320 Fix My Mess Now. Y'all sent me some really interesting situations. 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:49.920 It was like y'all was trying to top the people 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:56.319 last week. All right, everybody's name will remain anonymous. First one, 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:58.800 here we go. This is a man. Yes, y'all know. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:02.120 I love celebrating men opening up because they don't usually 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:05.640 do so, so I love this. Hey, just me and 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.720 my girl has been together for quite some time. I 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:11.480 lost my job and she is in between jobs, so 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.200 money is tight. However, we still make it through for 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.600 the kids. But she has a shopping addiction and she 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.440 always puts that first, What do I do? Because I 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.840 don't want to leave, but I will her priorities are 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:27.840 not in the right order. Well, I will say, you 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:31.959 sound very responsible, and coming from a man, that's something 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.920 you usually don't see. You know, usually the man is 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:37.840 the frivolous spender. You guys spend your money on shoes 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:39.800 and all that type of stuff. Now, women, we have 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:44.160 shopping addictions, yes, But if everything ain't right at home, 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:47.560 if the bills are behind, if the children ain't all 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.000 taken care of daycare, school to wish and all this 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:53.800 stuff ain't paid up, you have no business. No business 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:57.920 shopping now. Grooming is different, getting your nails on head done, 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:01.960 you know, looking good is different anything extra like the shopping. 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:04.920 You said she has a shopping addiction. If she's in 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:07.200 between jobs, she ain't even supposed to be worried about 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:10.400 shopping at all. Then you said kids, all right, so 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:13.160 I'm assuming that you have more than one child together 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:16.840 and y'all live in the same house. Somebody needs to 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:20.400 find a job, somebody needs to work. She's in between jobs, 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:21.959 and you lost your job. You told me a bit 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.760 that was a mouthful. You need to get a job. 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:28.120 And she needs to get one too. You need to 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:31.320 sit down, an asshole, talk to her about this too. 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.360 If you haven't, that's something that you'll never tell me. 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.080 You'all never tell me if y'all bring this stuff up 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:36.640 to them or not. So I don't know if this 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:39.799 helps you, but if you haven't communicate that with her, 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:43.640 because it sounds like she's irresponsible as a mother and 0:02:43.760 --> 0:02:46.400 as a wife or a girlfriend. She sounds very irresponsible. 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:49.360 And now it could be one or two things. Either 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:54.079 she's selfish or she is spoiled because you've spoiled her. 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.519 Now it could be a thing of when you guys 0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:59.400 were up, when you had your job and everything and 0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:01.840 you pay the bills, and she had a job and 0:03:02.280 --> 0:03:06.480 you provided everything, so maybe she could spend her money 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:09.480 freely on herself and shopping and all that. Maybe you 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.360 didn't know that you were creating a monster. If she 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.960 has always had this issue, that's different. If she's always 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:19.960 been careless with money and very wasteful with finances, then 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.480 that's something different. That's something that should have been talked about. 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:26.480 You should have been noticed that even before your kids 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:29.120 or right after whenever it started. But that is a 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:31.639 communication thing. As well. You can sit down and talk 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:34.679 to her about it. If she disagrees, you make a 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:37.640 decision from there, because you always have to do what's 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:42.320 right for you first and then your kids. And I 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:45.000 know a lot of people are going to disagree with that, 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:48.960 but there's no way that you can take care of 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:52.680 your children if you're not mentally prepared, if you're not right, 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:54.440 if you're not in your right state of mind. So 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.480 you have to make sure that you do what's best 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.760 for you and then your children, and it's best for you. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:05.440 It's not staying in How can I put this because 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.520 I don't want to. I don't want to deem your 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:12.040 relationship negative or like put a negative connotation on your relationship. 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:13.840 I don't want to do that. But you seem unhappy 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:16.520 and very frustrated with this, and if it's not fixable, 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.400 you have to do what's right for you and your kids. 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:23.400 Hopefully that helps. Okay, this is from a woman. Just 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:26.240 My boyfriend wants to be a rapper. He has been 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:29.760 rapping since he was sixteen. He's thirty three now and 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:33.000 hasn't popped off with his career. We have spent so 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:37.520 much money traveling, booking shows and he never popped as 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:40.479 an artist. He has little gigs here and there, but 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.120 it's not bringing in any money. I don't want to 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:46.040 crush his dreams. However, he needs to know how I feel, 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.000 because this ship is going nowhere. Okay, so you didn't 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.279 pose a question like you're asking me what you should do. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.279 But I'm just gonna assume that you're asking me what 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.080 you should do, and what you should do is not 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.599 crush his dream but still be honest with him, Babe, 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:00.560 this is not working. I don't know how long y'all 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:02.080 have been together, but you said he even rappings and 0:05:02.120 --> 0:05:04.680 see with sixteen, So obviously this is his passion. This 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:06.560 is something that he wants to do, whether he pops 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.160 with it or not. Everyone wants to make it. But 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:11.200 just because you don't make it does not mean that 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.520 that's not your passion, that's not what you want to do. 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:16.600 It's just that he hasn't blown yet. I don't know 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:20.880 if you will. These days, it's easier to make it, 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:25.080 but it's not easy staying hot. It's not you know, 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.000 you got TikTok and things of that nature, and rappers 0:05:28.040 --> 0:05:31.679 and celebrities are much more easier to get in touch 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:34.680 with Than to reach then back in the day, you 0:05:34.680 --> 0:05:37.120 know Than used to. So there are ways that he 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.160 can make it. I mean, does his music suck in 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:41.680 your opinion, it's all about if it's good or not, 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:43.960 like it is it good? Because if it is good, 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.280 it just means he hasn't met the right person yet 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:48.360 or met the right person that could take him, or 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:50.400 he doesn't have a team. Is he doing it all alone? 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:52.960 Is it just you and him? Is he independent? Like 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.000 what's going on? I need a little bit more meat 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:58.479 to the story. But I feel that you can be 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.960 honest with him without shattering his dream. You don't have 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.920 to say niggati, sh it ain't working unless his ship 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:07.320 is bad. That's where you have to be honest. It's 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.680 not being a hater. And a lot of people think 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:11.960 that if you disagree with something or you're hating, you 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:14.719 being a hater. No. No, but it's good to be 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:17.120 honest with people. No, this is not going to work. No, 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:19.760 this is not no, this is not gonna stand out. 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.160 Nobody's gonna bump this ship in the car. Nobody is saying, hey, yo, 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:25.240 put on a little dug from down the street. He 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:28.120 dropped some hot ship last week. Now, if nobody's saying that, 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:30.680 then no, you have to be honest with him, that 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:33.240 showman girl, and you want to stick the sade him, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.400 then stick beside him and tell him the truth. It's 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.159 not going anywhere, Babe. Do you think that you could 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.360 step back from it and get a job. Let's get 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.640 a job, and let's work on it until we Because 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:46.320 there's nothing wrong with chasing your dreams, but you have 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:48.280 to be able to take care of yourself while you're 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:51.200 chasing that ship. You can't chase it and end up homeless. 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:54.000 That has worked for some people. But if you are 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.719 the amazing girlfriend that I think you are, because obviously 0:06:56.760 --> 0:06:58.720 you do support him, and you have been supporting him, 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:01.520 you're just seeing the of the road here, I think 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:04.200 that you could be honest enough to tell him, like, Babe, 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:06.360 I've been here with you, I've been in the gym 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:09.479 shooting with you. You ain't making these shots, all right, 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:12.360 So we gotta move on to something else. Maybe fall 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:14.800 back from it, come back to it, but we have 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:20.000 to make something shake because bills are still here, life 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:23.800 is still here, we are still moving forward. This is 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:25.960 not making us any money, This is not gonna you know, 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:29.120 so you just have to sit down and communica again. Communication. 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.040 Don't be writing me asking me nothing, just for me 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:33.400 to keep giving you all the same. Man says the 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:36.160 ship communicate, but I love y'all, thank you so much. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.120 Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good. 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.440 But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:46.760 If you love me, you'll listen. Moving on. Hey, Jess, 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.280 So I just recently watched Couples of Retreat on v 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.040 H one. Had no idea you were on the show. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.800 My situation is similar to Claudia and kJ I've been 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:00.400 with my man for four years and I want more children. 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:04.240 He already has to but he doesn't want anymore. He 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.679 told me this when we first met, but as time 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.920 went on, I thought that it would change. I love 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.960 him dearly, but don't want to settle if I'm not 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:16.760 getting what I want. I really do want more kids. Okay, 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:20.120 I do understand, and that is a similar situation as 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.520 Claudia is. Yes, but the thing is, you already have children. 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.920 Claudia don't have no kids, so she's like she just 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.520 wants a child, like she wants a baby. Every woman 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.679 should have the experience of having a baby if they 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.319 want to having a child, it's it's something beautiful with 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:40.360 it's multiplying, it's creating life, like you're making people like 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.160 you know what I mean, Like you made a person 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.400 a person that that is yours and that will be 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:47.920 yours forever. It's something sacred about that. That's amazing. But 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.800 when you're in a relationship and someone doesn't want the 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:54.160 same thing and they do tell you upfront before y'all 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.600 even get official and become so in love and all 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:01.280 of that, he did tell you this. I'm not sure 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.839 if kJ always felt that way about him and Claudia, 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:07.240 you know, or just period, like he didn't want any 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:11.600 more kids. But I'm gonna tell you this. Your boyfriend 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:16.520 told you so. It's really really your choice, and you 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:19.440 told me you thought that it would change. But it's 0:09:19.559 --> 0:09:22.400 very seldom that you can change a man's mind about 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.400 something like that. Only he can change his mind, and 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:27.280 it's not even effective. If he loves you enough he'll 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:28.920 give you a baby, it's not even that. Maybe he 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.640 has reasons why he doesn't want any anymore. Now, that 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:35.240 doesn't mean he doesn't want you or the relationship want 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.160 to marry you. Doesn't mean he's not gonna marry you, 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:39.160 doesn't want you to be his wife. He just doesn't 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.000 want any more kids. And I know this is repetitive, 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:44.199 and I don't want to seem redundant, but he told 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:48.160 you up front, so that's the only thing I can see. 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:52.160 If these things weren't talked about and you guys are 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:56.319 four years and and because four years is a chunk 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.480 of your life like that, that's not no little bit 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:02.240 as time and it hasn't changed. But he did tell 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:05.880 you still, so he really is against having more children. 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:08.079 That's what we see. That's what we know. I'm so 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:10.400 sorry because I know you do want a baby, but 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.640 I'm happy that you already have kids, so you have 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:17.000 experienced birth and pregnancy. You just want it with him, 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:20.280 and you want more kids. I do understand. But sometimes 0:10:20.320 --> 0:10:22.199 things don't work out the way that we want them 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:24.640 to work out. And that's just what it is. Baby girl. 0:10:24.679 --> 0:10:26.880 I'm not telling you to leave this man, and I'm 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:30.360 not telling you to stay. I'm telling you to pray 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:31.920 about it. I don't know if you're religious. I don't 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:34.360 know if you're Christian. I don't know if there is 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.920 a higher being that you pray to mine is God, 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.520 and I would literally just have a talk with God, 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:41.280 and I would have a talk with him as well, 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:46.520 and tell him not to persuade him to have a baby. 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.559 Just tell him what you told me. I thought it 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.160 would change. I did, if you haven't already, I thought 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:53.000 this would change. I love you. I don't want to 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:55.559 leave you, but I want kids. I know you did 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.400 tell me upfront that you didn't. However, things do change, 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.400 and I thought it it would change. Not that I 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:03.920 could change you. Make sure you say these things. Not 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:08.079 that I could change your mind, but you could change 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:11.240 your mind. You never know what life may bring. You 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.680 never know how you're gonna fell in four years, three years, 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.280 six years, You never know. I don't know what your 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:20.480 experience was before with the children. If you guys been 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.240 together for four years, and this should have already been 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.560 talked about. If not, it's still fine. It's not too 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:27.040 late to go and talk to him about these things. 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.640 Get to the bottom of why he doesn't want to 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:31.880 have any and if it's just dead end, it's dead end. Baby. 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.120 You gotta move on if that's what your heart tells you, 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.160 or you gotta stay stick it out. Ask him about adoption. 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:40.040 You know there are different ways. I don't know. Maybe 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.320 it's the pregnancy part that scares him. Just get inside 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:44.160 of his mind and try to talk and figure out 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:47.600 what's going on with it. Again, communication, But thank you 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:49.520 for writing me, baby. I'm so sorry. I know she 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.040 wore her child. Because child. I want more to with 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.360 the way these men is set up. Baby. Now, we 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:57.680 got a commercial and if you click off of this podcast, 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:03.240 I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Okay, moving on, 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:07.679 just I've been in a monogamous relationship for a long time, 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:11.800 but my fiance complains that it's getting boring and we're 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.160 growing apart. However, we don't want to call it quits. 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:20.640 He recently acts for an open relationship. At first, I 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.360 thought like he got me fucked up, but maybe it 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:30.280 wouldn't be so bad. What do you think, m Yeah, 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.840 I see, I think a little different. I don't care 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.360 how long we've been together. And this is just me 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:41.200 speaking from my personal perspective. I don't give a funk 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:42.840 how long we've been together. I don't care if you're 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.120 getting bored and nigga spice it up some other way. 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:48.800 We are not bringing in another person to help us 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:53.120 with a relationship, because before you know it, you will 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.480 be alone and that bitch will be with that nigga. 0:12:55.640 --> 0:12:59.120 Believe me, he already told you he's getting bored. But 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.000 y'all don't want to bring up. No, ya don't want 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.120 to see each other with someone else. That's what that 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:06.640 is in my opinion, And I may be wrong, but 0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:08.360 if he were to leave you and go be with 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.480 someone else, that will hurt you. If you were to 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:12.880 leave him and go be with someone else, as bored 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:16.760 as the relationship got and as far apart of y'all group, 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.720 he would still have a fucking problem with that. So 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:23.400 that's the problem there. Y'all don't want to let go 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:26.320 because y'all do have so much time in history put 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.360 in and all of that, and I do understand that. 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.560 But people do grow apart. They do, and maybe you 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:35.800 guys just have to separate. Maybe you'll have to be 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:38.640 done with each other. Go do you he go do 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:43.640 him whatever and come back. Because y'all didn't even make 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:45.920 it to the married part. You said your fiance sweetie, 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.600 So y'all haven't even made it down the aisle. How 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:52.040 long were you all together? Ship? And he proposed, and 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.199 all of a sudden he's board. I don't know how 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.319 long have y'all been engaged because black people got a 0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:00.000 motherfucking have it of proposing and then forgetting about a day. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.920 I'm what, just gonna be engaged for life? Like, no, 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:05.400 that's that's not what we do. I think what you 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:09.040 should do is you used to sit down and y'all 0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:10.760 should really be honest with each other. I feel like 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:12.800 y'all are not honest. I feel like he's not being 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.680 honest with you about becoming bored in a relationship. I 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:22.360 just feel like maybe his heart is not there anymore, 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.480 maybe his mind isn't there. Something ain't there, something that 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.800 is not gonne. There's a disconnect, there's something going on. 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.360 I'm not saying it maybe with another woman. I'm not 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:32.480 trying to put anything in your head that doesn't need 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:35.000 to be there. I just want you to see and 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:38.120 don't play yourself and don't let him play you, because, 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.200 like you said, at first, you was like, oh no, 0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:42.800 he got me fucked up, and rightfully so he does. 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.800 I love how open he was with you to even 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:49.280 try to suggest something, so y'all won't you know, But 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:52.080 it's like he wants to pass is like, uh, it's 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:55.200 something that it ain't right. It ain't right. Have you 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:58.640 guys ever had threesomes before? Have you guys ever? You know, 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.480 I don't know. I don't know that. It's just like, 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.760 that's not something that just comes out of the fucking 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:06.800 blue from a fiance. Is he already dealing with someone? 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:08.920 That would have me thinking like, are you already dealing 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.880 with somebody? But you're so far in here because we 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:15.560 are about to get married or were supportively getting married, 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.440 but you already got somebody on the side, So now 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.440 you want to bring that person in And it's my 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.200 mind would be going, and it's going right now. And 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.040 I'm not saying that's your situation. So just forget all 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:26.600 that that I said, but keep it in the back 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.360 of your mind. But don't you know, don't harp too 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.640 much on that. Just sit down and be honest because 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:35.640 that's communication. But that's also a bunch of bullshit to me. 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:37.800 It's just something that's not right there. I don't know 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.160 if you're not telling me something or whatever it is, 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.840 but sit out and make him be honest with you. 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.000 And if he cannot be honest with you, you still 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:47.760 feel that it's nothing, then yeah, you need to exit 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:51.800 stage left quickly easily. Don't pass go, don't collect two 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:58.200 d go leave. I'm sorry, but that's that's how I feel, alright. 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:01.680 Moving on last one. Oh, this is from a baby. 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.520 I love this, and baby, I mean she's she's saying 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:08.640 she's seventeen. Okay, My parents threatened to disown me if 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:11.160 I continue to date my boyfriend. They don't like him, 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:13.720 the life that he lives, and the fact that he's 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.600 not our race. Would you continue a relationship like this 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:21.560 because I'm definitely picking my boyfriend. Hm, the fact that 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:24.840 you're a baby. And I'm not gonna ever tell you 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:26.400 you don't know what love is. You don't know, you 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:30.680 don't know what I mean, because it's absolutely possible that 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:32.560 you do. I'm not gonna tell you don't know what 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.000 love is. But you have a whole lot of life 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:38.880 to live. You're very young. You're in high school. I'm 0:16:38.920 --> 0:16:43.280 assuming if you haven't graduated early. Now, what kind of 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:47.480 ship is this boyfriend into and what fucking race are 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.520 you and him? You? You left a lot of little 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.440 shit out. I don't know. I can't even make an 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.840 assumption and say oh, she might be white and the 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:56.880 boyfriend might be black, because it might be the other 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.720 way around. He might be a white boy and our 0:16:58.760 --> 0:17:02.400 parents is like, uh, he may be Hispanic, He maybe Asian, Russian, 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:04.680 he might not be rushing. But but you know what 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:06.960 I'm saying, he could be anything. So I don't know. 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.280 I don't think she wanted to disclose that information. However, 0:17:10.720 --> 0:17:13.760 I do feel like you should talk to your parents 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.560 find out what is it about him that they don't like. 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:18.520 And he could just be a bad boy that they 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:21.959 see could easily influence you just by being around him 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.320 or his girlfriend or you know. That's so many ways. 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:28.399 Like I was seventeen years old before I was a 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.120 teen ager, before my my parents didn't like every little 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.000 boy I thought that I was gonna be with, you know, 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:36.040 they didn't. And I also dated older when I was 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:38.240 a teenager because I've always looked older, you know, a 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:40.800 little strong in the face, got strong features, whatever. So 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:44.280 I've always looked before my time, right, So I always 0:17:44.359 --> 0:17:47.119 dated up until I actually got older. I used to 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:49.199 lie about my age all of that. Ship is it 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:51.080 that I used to date niggas in the streets. I 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:56.320 used like it could be that. I'm not sure again race. 0:17:56.480 --> 0:18:00.479 I honestly feel like if your parents didn't say that, 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.679 maybe that doesn't have anything to do with it. I 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.280 don't know, I don't know. It sounds I ain't eve 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:06.960 gonna say what it sounds like. I ain't even trying 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.080 to paint this picture like this. But to me, it 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.600 sounds like you're white and you got yourself a black 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:15.439 boyfriend and your parents ain't feeling it. If it is 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.239 about race, it probably just because he's black. If this 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.600 is the case, it don't have to be about race. Acthor. 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:23.400 It could be that he in the streets, It could 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:25.480 be that he's older, it could be all those factors, 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:27.320 all those things that I just said I went through 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:30.199 as a teenager. So sit down and talk to your parents. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:33.040 I see that you said I'm definitely picking my boyfriend. 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.080 If that's how you feel, I can't stop you. Apparently 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:39.800 your parents can't even stop you. But you do have 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.600 to talk to them. They're your parents, and they have 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:46.840 your best interests at heart. They're your parents, So sit 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:49.760 down and talk about it with them because you're their baby. 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:52.480 You know you're their baby obviously, And I love how 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:55.679 you said parents. So you have both of your parents 0:18:55.720 --> 0:18:58.720 still not a lot of young people can't even say that. 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:00.880 So that's good that you eat and still have both 0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:04.359 of your parents. So God bless you. But talk to them, 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:06.119 be talked to him for you get your lot as 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:10.119 whip girl. And just like that, we've come to the 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.400 end of another episode of Carefully Reckless with your Girl. 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.720 Just hilarious. Now let's just fix my mess that is 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:18.680 the ship. I might go a part three next week, 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:20.439 but I might not. I don't know. I might give 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:23.040 it a little rest because y'all. Y'all got have some problems, 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:25.920 all right, But it all boils down to communication. I 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.000 see a lot of people don't communicate these days. That's 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.680 been the issue with every story that I've looked at, 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.000 everything that I've looked at, it just seems like you 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:37.719 guys don't communicate. So open your mouth, even if it's 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:41.040 a hard conversation. Hard conversations have to be had as well. 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:43.679 There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong. You have to 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:46.880 be able to have hard conversations and marriages and relationships 0:19:46.880 --> 0:19:52.359 and friendships with family. In business, hard conversations you have to. 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:54.800 You can't run from it. But thank y'all, I Love 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:58.040 y'all and I know y'all love me. Tune in every Wednesday. 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:01.399