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Speaker 1: I gave my ten million dollar inheritance to my daughter,

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Speaker 1: and now my angry fiance wants to talk.

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Speaker 2: Hey, babe, I noticed you gave all your money to

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Speaker 2: your daughter. Why don't you just send it all to

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Speaker 2: me me instead?

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Speaker 1: You know, the whole reason we were getting married is because,

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Speaker 1: like I thought, I was going to get a piece.

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Speaker 2: You know, I think you should teach your children to

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Speaker 2: defend for themselves.

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Resilience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to spoil them, you want to

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Speaker 1: spoil your fiance.

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Speaker 3: There we go, I deserve retreat.

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Speaker 1: Hi Female twenty eight had my daughter Female nine while

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Speaker 1: still in college. I was ashamed to admit I don't

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Speaker 1: know who the dad is. It was a drunken party mishap.

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Speaker 1: That is so rough, dude.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Also, you just think of like all the uh parents

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Speaker 1: that I try for freaking years and just nothing happens,

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Speaker 1: and then you're like nineteen at a college party and

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Speaker 1: then bam, Laws of the universe. Laws of the universe.

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Speaker 1: My parents just own me and sympathizing with my plight.

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Speaker 1: My grandpa took me in. He had a bad, reallyelationship

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Speaker 1: with my dad. My grandpa died two years ago, leaving

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Speaker 1: me his entire estate, and he was kind of rich.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like a little bit so now, OPI is rich.

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Speaker 1: And also like, you know you're rich when you don't

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Speaker 1: call it like, oh, like a house or a bank account.

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Speaker 1: You call it in a state, bro, Yes, stuck in

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Speaker 1: a state. I started dating my fiance, Max Mail, thirty five,

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Speaker 1: around four years back. He has two kids, female six

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Speaker 1: and male ten. He has full time custody of them

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Speaker 1: as well. Their mom married someone else and moved across

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Speaker 1: the country. She pays child support, but makes no effort

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Speaker 1: to contact them or visit them.

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Speaker 3: Yikes, mom of the Year. Ward.

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Speaker 1: We've lived together for over a year now and everyone

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Speaker 1: gets along pretty well. We stay at the house my

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Speaker 1: grandfather left me and split all bills and expenses fifty

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Speaker 1: to fifty, but keep the rest of the finances separate.

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Speaker 1: And then he popped the question two months ago and

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Speaker 1: I said.

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Speaker 2: Yes, whoo congrass opee.

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Speaker 1: Everything's hunky dory, fine and dandy until now, Oh, a

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Speaker 1: few weeks ago, we had a minor fight. My daughter's

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Speaker 1: birthday is coming up, and I wanted to gift her

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Speaker 1: a pony, like a.

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Speaker 3: Whole ass pony.

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Speaker 2: Bro that sounds lit.

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Speaker 3: That's some a state money right there. That's some a

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Speaker 3: state money.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's been learning to ride for a few

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Speaker 1: years now and really wants one. When I mentioned this

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Speaker 1: to Max in passing conversation, he got mad at wasting

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Speaker 1: our money on stupid gifts like this. I told him

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Speaker 1: I am not taking anything out of our budget and

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Speaker 1: just buying it out of my money. He said, then

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Speaker 1: I should buy his kids ponies too, to make it fair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone gets a pony, that's how it works.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, your kids don't know how to ride ponies, Well,

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Speaker 3: they still want a pony.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's also ridiculous, like those kids probably don't even

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Speaker 1: want ponies. Although what kid doesn't want a pony.

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Speaker 2: I was allergic to ponies, so I didn't want one.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you don't want a pony, I said, sure, let's

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Speaker 1: split the expense. He told me I should buy it myself,

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Speaker 1: since I am rich and it is my decision to

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Speaker 1: buy my daughter a pony in the first place. That

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Speaker 1: he is trying to make it equal for all kids

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Speaker 1: in the household and he doesn't have the money to

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Speaker 1: waste like this. I got his point, but I also

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Speaker 1: felt that he would want me to make everything equal

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Speaker 1: with his kids too. I get there will be my

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Speaker 1: kids too, and I should not treat them differently. But

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Speaker 1: I also felt like my daughter should not have to

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Speaker 1: split her generational wealth. It's not mine, it's my grandpa's

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Speaker 1: and he loved her. He left it to me, believing

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Speaker 1: I would pass it on to her. So I made

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Speaker 1: a trust fund, transferring fifty percent of assets I inherited

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Speaker 1: into that. It has rules regarding reasons I can make

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Speaker 1: withdrawal out of, like education and separate living allowance based

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Speaker 1: on age, money for marriage, for house, and then the

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Speaker 1: entire balance is made available at thirty.

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Speaker 3: That's actually really smart.

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Speaker 2: That is genius. That's maybe one of the better setups

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Speaker 2: we've seen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I do see where it's like if

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Speaker 1: you're getting married and you have kids, like you want

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Speaker 1: the whole family to be like a familial unit, and

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Speaker 1: you don't want one parent to like show favor of

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Speaker 1: one kid.

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Speaker 3: You want it to be a whole thing. It is tricky.

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Speaker 3: I don't really know what is like the usual of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I feel like usually examples we find in

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Speaker 2: these stories is like superregious. This one is a lot

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Speaker 2: more in the gray area.

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Speaker 1: It's not like the husband is like, give me a pony.

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Speaker 1: He's like no, no, Like all the kids should have ponies

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Speaker 1: so they feel included.

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Speaker 2: Which if you think about like a vacation, right if

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Speaker 2: OPI was like, yo, fiance, daughter, let's all go on

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Speaker 2: a vacation, and the husband's will like, what about paying

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Speaker 2: for them? It's like, oh, well, those are your children?

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Speaker 2: Like in that scenario, it feels like, yeah, should if

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Speaker 2: you're gonna do the vacation, shouldn't you bring everyone?

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Speaker 1: Like I do see it from both sides. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm leaning a little bit more towards everyone getting a pony.

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Speaker 1: But do the other kids even want a pony? You know,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely a little dicey. I would say for the

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Speaker 1: people who have kids or have married into a family

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Speaker 1: that have kids, and like you both have a set

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Speaker 1: of kids, I would love to know what your thoughts are.

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Speaker 1: This is not a situation I've dealt with before, but

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Speaker 1: let's keep going. I set up another trust fund for myself,

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Speaker 1: putting thirty percent of assets into it with yearly allowance,

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Speaker 1: and then to dissolve after fifty hoping to retire them.

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Speaker 1: The balance twenty percent and then another twenty percent is

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Speaker 1: mostly the house land in emergency funds. I did it

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Speaker 1: so whatever income I earned, I will be able to

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Speaker 1: make it equally split within kids, but inheritance will stay

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Speaker 1: intact for my daughter's future without having to be split

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Speaker 1: or used for my step kids. My fiance found out

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Speaker 1: about this a couple of days ago. He saw some

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Speaker 1: related papers in my drawer. He was really mad at

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Speaker 1: cutting him and his kids out. He said, if I

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Speaker 1: was marrying him, we would be sharing all assets and finances,

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Speaker 1: which is not necessarily true. Like I mean, like that's

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Speaker 1: the whole reason prenups exist. Yes, it's not a given,

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Speaker 1: Like that feels less of a given where it's like,

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Speaker 1: this is something we have to agree upon, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent. But yeah, it's not a given, so

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Speaker 1: you can't just say I demand. It's a conversation, dude.

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Speaker 1: He said that it's not fair for me to keep

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Speaker 1: ninety percent of my wealth just to myself and my

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Speaker 1: kid when he is sharing all of his with us.

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Speaker 1: I said, I was sharing everything I make too, just

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Speaker 1: the inheritance is kept aside. He is not bringing any

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Speaker 1: inheritance in the union either. He said that's because he

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Speaker 1: has none, and it's incredibly selfish of me to not share,

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Speaker 1: to lock it away that with this, my will live

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Speaker 1: a luxurious life while his kids will have an average

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Speaker 1: life only since there's no way we can afford all

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Speaker 1: of that with our income only, I said, generational wealth

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Speaker 1: is separate and it should go to the biological family.

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Speaker 1: He called me an asshole for discriminating and depriving his

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Speaker 1: kids of an equally good life.

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Speaker 3: So am I the asshole? This is so complex.

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Speaker 1: I want to know what you guys think in the comments,

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Speaker 1: But John are like, what are your initial thoughts here?

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Speaker 2: I think that Op is definitely being smart about it.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 2: I do appreciate the effort in you know, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I will still split one hundred percent of like the

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Speaker 2: income that I earn. I think the kicker here, and

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Speaker 2: correct me if I'm wrong. The grandfather wanted it past

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Speaker 2: to Op to then pass to Ope's child, the biological grandchild, right.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's specified in the will. I think

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Speaker 1: what's specified in the will is he's giving it to Op,

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Speaker 1: but he's also believing that will be passed down to

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Speaker 1: his daughter. That might be an implied thing. But if

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Speaker 1: he explicitly said that. Then I think, like something what

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Speaker 1: we've said in the past is like the person who

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Speaker 1: is giving the money, I think has a lot of

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Speaker 1: say and almost like complete say, and how that money

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Speaker 1: is transferred and who it's transferred to, and I think

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Speaker 1: upon accepting that gift, that should be respected. But there

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Speaker 1: was a case for remember when we talked about like

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Speaker 1: there was a son who was gay and then the

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Speaker 1: grandfather was like, you can't be gay and get the inheritance.

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Speaker 1: And the question was like do I split this with

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Speaker 1: the son that's gay because the reason he was cut

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Speaker 1: out of the will was because of homophobic reasons. So

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Speaker 1: like it should it always be respected? And does respecting

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Speaker 1: this will separate the family?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 1: Because like what it's doing is it's showing a clear

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Speaker 1: divide between your kids and my kids. Right, Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: could do that. That's fine, and that's you know, like

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Speaker 1: that is true. She is your kid and he has

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Speaker 1: his own kids. But is that how you want your

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Speaker 1: dynamic to be? Which is fine? But do you want

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Speaker 1: your dynamic to be one of separation? Because like I

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Speaker 1: think something that is hard is like when you're combining families,

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Speaker 1: like do you want a unified family wherever one is

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Speaker 1: treated the exact same, or do you want it to

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Speaker 1: be like slightly you know, you have your family and

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Speaker 1: I have mine, or you have your kids and I

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Speaker 1: have my kids. Like there's no real right answer. It's

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Speaker 1: just like these are different options and relationship styles, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, potential solution, and you roast me in the comments

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Speaker 2: if I'm a little bit off. But what if a

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Speaker 2: portion of that, if it's really so large, like going

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Speaker 2: on family vacations, getting those gifts and whatnot, that you

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Speaker 2: set aside for all of the children while they are

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Speaker 2: growing up, but as far as like education, full inheritance,

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Speaker 2: all that stuff when they're adults, it's like, hey, I

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Speaker 2: will give them all great equal childhood.

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Speaker 3: But adulthood education feels like important.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like they should have have access to

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Speaker 1: equal education.

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Speaker 2: If it's education to be equal, you'd have to pay

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Speaker 2: for all of the kids' education, which maybe that's a lot.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that would make sense, but I would

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Speaker 1: love to know from everyone else. And there is a fat,

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Speaker 1: juicy update that we're gonna get into right now.

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Speaker 4: To do it, and now on for the updates, We

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Speaker 4: have an update trading Jem boo booh gay op.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I know this is quick, but I am someone who

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Speaker 1: always acts quickly. So here is the update. I had

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Speaker 1: a much needed conversation with Max. We're going by names now, y'all.

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Speaker 1: This man is being called out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, son.

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Speaker 1: I showed him the post Replies Advices experiences and he

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Speaker 1: looked defeated to see this. At the core, there were

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Speaker 1: two issues. How much do I trust him? And how

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Speaker 1: do we handle finances moving forward?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's a lot to figure out.

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Speaker 1: Also, John, just quick reminder of the whole situation, right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank you. So we have a woman marrying man. Woman

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Speaker 1: just had like a bunch of inheritance. She gave fifty

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Speaker 1: percent to her daughter, thirty percent to herself, and twenty

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Speaker 1: percent for house expenses. And the other guy was like,

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Speaker 1: you should buy my kids a pony.

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Speaker 3: Too, Yeah, got it cool.

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Speaker 1: He told me he was ready to sign a prenup

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Speaker 1: before I even asked if that would alleviate my worries.

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Speaker 1: He said, all he wants to have is everyone in

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Speaker 1: the household to feel equal, to not make his kids

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Speaker 1: feel resentful, to make it fair to everyone. I understood

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Speaker 1: that the fact is there is no way it can

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Speaker 1: be made fair to everyone. If I want to give

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Speaker 1: my daughter the best of everything, I should give same

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Speaker 1: to his kids too, But that is not always possible

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Speaker 1: even with our combined incomes. For example, if her love

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Speaker 1: for writing stays, both me and her would prefer to

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Speaker 1: attend a private school providing equestrian sports.

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Speaker 3: Brah, this is rich ritch.

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Speaker 2: Bro, what are we doing here?

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Speaker 3: Who's using that? That's crazy? Okay?

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Speaker 1: Tuition for that and related costs can be availed from

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Speaker 1: her trust, but we would not be able to afford

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Speaker 1: to pay tuition for his kids out of our combined income.

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Speaker 1: Trust is already set up, and even I cannot withdraw

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Speaker 1: money for their tuition. Yes, it's her money, but in

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Speaker 1: a relationship where you're gonna get married, I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's something you should talk about, right.

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Speaker 2: Because it's not always one hundred percent of the time,

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Speaker 2: but a lot of the times there is intermingling of funds,

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Speaker 2: and if it was income, OP probably would be sharing

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Speaker 2: it more. Right, So it is in this really weird

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Speaker 2: gray area.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the whole splitting, putting it very quickly

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Speaker 1: that day into all of these different funds yields a

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Speaker 1: little rash, right.

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Speaker 2: It would cause me some like could you sit down

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Speaker 2: and walk me through why this was happening and why

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Speaker 2: it had to happen within twenty four hours within one

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Speaker 2: business day.

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Speaker 1: Ye, it is her money for sure. Yes, I just

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Speaker 1: think if you're going to be getting married to someone

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Speaker 1: like these are things that you should talk about before doing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, at a minimum, like over communication.

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Speaker 1: I would love to know what everyone else thinks. Like

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Speaker 1: do you think if you have an inheritance you could

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Speaker 1: do whatever you want with it and you don't have

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Speaker 1: to tell your partner? Or do you think part of

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Speaker 1: getting married is being able to be transparent with your finances,

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Speaker 1: even if on that particular part of your finances you

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Speaker 1: have final say I would love to know what you

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Speaker 1: guys think. Me too, Even if I could, I would

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Speaker 1: be reducing my retirement funds or my daughter's inheritance. Same

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Speaker 1: go for car tuition funds and all other expenses my

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Speaker 1: daughter will have covered. But even with our incomes, we

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Speaker 1: can't give equally to Max's kids. Further, marriage is a

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Speaker 1: big risk, even with a prenup, if he takes on

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Speaker 1: debt during the course of our marriage, I would also

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Speaker 1: be liable. A lot of the comments have instilled a

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Speaker 1: lot of fear in me. I'm also worried about the

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Speaker 1: resentment finance is going to build. I love Max, I

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Speaker 1: really do, but I love my daughter a million times more.

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Speaker 3: She is my life.

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Speaker 1: I have to accept that her future and opportunities are

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Speaker 1: more important to me than a marriage, at least for

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Speaker 1: the next nine years. Who am I kidding? Till my

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Speaker 1: daughter can fully be independent? And I cannot fault him

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Speaker 1: for wanting the same for his kids. He is just

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Speaker 1: being a dad. But I cannot take away from my

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Speaker 1: daughter to give to his kids. I can only give

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Speaker 1: equal love and care to them, equal attention. Financially, we

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Speaker 1: are just not compatible.

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Speaker 4: You're too poor, bro, Yes, wow, financially when I compatible?

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Speaker 1: Job Alto wants to go to a questrian school, and

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Speaker 1: I simply you could not afford a questrian school for

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Speaker 1: all of your rabble rousing children.

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Speaker 2: Your children want to learn to become a chef, get

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Speaker 2: their hands dirty and all the smuck.

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Speaker 1: No, never, bro, We're not financially compatible.

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Speaker 3: A well man, right, right?

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Speaker 2: Nice? I think she's losing us.

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Speaker 3: They were being too harsh.

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Speaker 1: That seems ridiculous. Yeah, I would not put it like that.

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Speaker 1: Long story short. I gave back my ring. Engagement and

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Speaker 1: marriage is off the table for now. After all, there

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Speaker 1: is no real necessity to get married. We both are

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Speaker 1: sad about this turn, but the fact he did not

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Speaker 1: kick up a fuss is a bit reassuring. I really

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Speaker 1: do believe our companionship is just as valuable to him

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Speaker 1: as me. Okay, so they're not breaking up. Does that

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Speaker 1: we are also parents who want the best for our children.

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Speaker 1: We don't know where a relationship is going. I would

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Speaker 1: still like him to be in my life, but he

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Speaker 1: is also free to leave and find another person. I

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Speaker 1: did not ask him to leave, and he is staying

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Speaker 1: for now. I will try to keep normal stuff equal

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Speaker 1: between all, whatever I can do out of my income.

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Speaker 1: My daughter is still getting a pony. It's a gift

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Speaker 1: from her great gampa. After all, I would not compromise

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Speaker 1: her life and choices. My grandpa took me in for

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Speaker 1: her sake. He left it all to me for her.

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Speaker 1: I cannot compromise on that, and there is no need

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Speaker 1: for three ponies. Neither of his kids, no or has

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Speaker 1: shown any interest in writing, which I agree with that

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Speaker 1: you don't need to get three ponies if they want one.

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Speaker 1: After seeing my daughter with hers we will be getting

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Speaker 1: them writing lessons and they can share. They will be

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Speaker 1: getting the best birthday presents we can afford that aligns

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Speaker 1: with their interests for their birthdays. If Max sticks around

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Speaker 1: till then I will also be protecting the house and

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Speaker 1: land as well. He cannot make claims on it as

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Speaker 1: far as I know, but I will still be discussing

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Speaker 1: it with my lawyer. Thank you for helping me see

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Speaker 1: what I refuse to love had me blind. We should

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Speaker 1: read some of these comments, right.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, please?

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Speaker 1: First, you're just randomly buying your child a pony? Who

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Speaker 1: does that? One who has enough money to afford that?

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Speaker 1: A daughter obsessed with riding and ponies? Also, who just

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Speaker 1: sets up multiple trusts in a few weeks?

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Speaker 3: I do?

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Speaker 1: I mean my team did. I'm sorry if it takes

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Speaker 1: you too long. Also, why do you think the retirement

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Speaker 1: age in seventy eight?

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Speaker 3: Op?

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Speaker 1: I want to retire at fifty, as in fifty years old,

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Speaker 1: not fifty years from now. And then Anna Ferendel says,

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Speaker 1: not the asshole, that's why people get a prenup. I

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Speaker 1: would say the only mistake in this was not considering

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Speaker 1: you might want more kids, so they should regardless of

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Speaker 1: their father have the same funding. I had a complication

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Speaker 1: during and then Op says I had a complication during

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Speaker 1: childbirth and had my uterus removed. I won't be having

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Speaker 1: any more kids. And then Katie Kruhle says, inheritance is

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Speaker 1: legally not split though if you too divorced, they wouldn't

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Speaker 1: include your inheritance in the proceedings. It would all revert

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Speaker 1: to you. So this we're sharing everything mentality has when

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Speaker 1: he's already getting free housing from you is very convenient

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Speaker 1: but false. Oh that's a good point. That's a pretty

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Speaker 1: good point. So basically like, inheritance isn't shared between married couples, so.

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Speaker 2: That's not in the court, like, hey, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: get half of that.

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Speaker 3: No, it's not.

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Speaker 2: It's completely left out.

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Speaker 1: According to this one comment on this Reddit post, yes so,

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Speaker 1: and Op says, I think he meant within the marriage,

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Speaker 1: not exactly in divorce contact, which is also why I

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Speaker 1: established the trust. So the money is out of my

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Speaker 1: hands and no one can force me to spend it. Requirements, guilt,

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Speaker 1: nothing would work, since money can be withdrawn only in

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Speaker 1: accordance with eligible causes. Well, I was adoozy, but it

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Speaker 1: seems like it, Yeah, was kind of worked out a

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Speaker 1: bit or not getting married, but they're also not breaking up,

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Speaker 1: so that's something.

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Speaker 2: But Sam, there's one thing that might be burning in

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Speaker 2: the minds of our beautiful viewers and that we should

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Speaker 2: ask to them as well. So put your thoughts down

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Speaker 2: in the comments. Is op the A hole here?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I want to know pick, we have to pick.

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Speaker 1: I think the a whole move is setting up all

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Speaker 1: the trusts so quickly without like communicating that to her

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Speaker 1: future husband. I feel like that's a really big decision

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Speaker 1: that was made really quickly. But I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: they're not getting married anymore, but like, especially since it

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Speaker 1: was a point of contention, like I feel like that

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Speaker 1: should be resolved first before making an irreversible decision.

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Speaker 2: Totally, here's the line. I'm like also a little bit

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Speaker 2: on the side of the A hole. I honestly don't

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Speaker 2: really care about her having to split it with the husband,

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Speaker 2: which isn't what he was asking for. It's more so

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Speaker 2: the kids and not that the kids have to get everything,

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Speaker 2: but it just creates this weird environment of like giving

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Speaker 2: these extravagant gifts outside of like I think stuff in adulthood.

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Speaker 2: It's more so the childhood, and like Opie's daughter is

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Speaker 2: just going to get extravagant gifts and all these things

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Speaker 2: all the time, and the other two kids.

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Speaker 3: Are just kind of like left in the dust.

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Speaker 1: Like I think what it will feel like is like

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Speaker 1: you have your family and I have mine, and it.

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Speaker 2: Just creates that dynamic.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately, that is the dynamic that is being created, and

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Speaker 1: I think that's probably what OPI wants, Like you have

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Speaker 1: your family, you take care of yours. I'll take care

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Speaker 1: of mine. I'm thinking like if me and my sister,

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Speaker 1: like my sister got everything she wanted and I was

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Speaker 1: not afforded that same luxury, I think there would be

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Speaker 1: resentment that would grow.

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Speaker 2: Right growing up as a child. I feel like it could

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Speaker 2: be hard to help.

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Speaker 1: So curious what everyone else thinks, So put your answers

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Speaker 1: in the comments below. It is a tricky one. This

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Speaker 1: is super complicated and with that we should get into

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Speaker 1: the next story. But if you have your own story,

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Speaker 1: you should call us right now. What's the number, John.

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Speaker 2: Zero five zero eight six five six seven.

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Speaker 1: Right now you can literally call us and leave a voicemail.

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Speaker 1: It's four four zero five zero eight six five sixty

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Speaker 1: seven call us, we might just call you back and

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Speaker 1: interview on the show.

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Speaker 3: On to the next story,