WEBVTT - This Didn't Go Well

0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:04.360
<v Speaker 1>iHeart Podcasts bring you the Ultimate Summer of Love Tree.

0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:08.920
<v Speaker 1>This is famously available. It's a very exciting day. We're

0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:11.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna have to run down on the date that happened

0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.280
<v Speaker 1>this last weekend at the Jonas Brothers concert. Now, in

0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:20.040
<v Speaker 1>addition to this episode, please stay tuned because we talked

0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:22.760
<v Speaker 1>to Cynthia, who was in the suite at the same

0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:28.320
<v Speaker 1>time and had her own input on body language. How

0:00:28.360 --> 0:00:31.520
<v Speaker 1>things went. Now, I'm just gonna kick it off. How

0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:32.160
<v Speaker 1>did things go?

0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:34.440
<v Speaker 2>I have been dying to talk to you.

0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.800
<v Speaker 1>I really I texted the group that night. I was

0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:40.519
<v Speaker 1>on the East coast, You're on the West coast, and

0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:43.040
<v Speaker 1>so I think it like happened way later than when

0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:45.800
<v Speaker 1>I went to bed, so I didn't get any good updates.

0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:48.159
<v Speaker 1>I really know nothing other than what Cynthia talk to

0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:50.919
<v Speaker 1>me about, which was really just like an outside perspective

0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:52.440
<v Speaker 1>of the date.

0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:55.480
<v Speaker 2>Are you going to share her outside perspective?

0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:58.880
<v Speaker 1>I will share bits and pieces you want to you

0:00:58.880 --> 0:00:59.600
<v Speaker 1>want to hear a little bit.

0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:01.959
<v Speaker 2>I want to hear it at the end. I want

0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:03.000
<v Speaker 2>to hear a bit of Yeah.

0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:06.120
<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to like like push you in any direction.

0:01:06.560 --> 0:01:08.959
<v Speaker 1>That episode with Cynthia will be airing about the same

0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.880
<v Speaker 1>time this airs, and so make sure you listen to

0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:16.399
<v Speaker 1>both to get two different perspectives, one involved in the date,

0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.560
<v Speaker 1>the other one watching the date. But let's just kick

0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:24.000
<v Speaker 1>it off. We obviously got the chat right before the

0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:28.039
<v Speaker 1>date happened. You had a really good, I think mindset

0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:32.400
<v Speaker 1>going into this date. I personally feel like you would

0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.760
<v Speaker 1>be a really easy first date because of the mindset

0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:39.959
<v Speaker 1>that you shared and just your expectations, kind of the

0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:43.080
<v Speaker 1>the excitement that was before the date. Now the date

0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:45.640
<v Speaker 1>has happened at this point, so please fill us on.

0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:47.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm just going to stop you then, because I don't

0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.920
<v Speaker 2>think that it's healthy for so much time to go

0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.080
<v Speaker 2>by before you and I dissect. I think we need

0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.120
<v Speaker 2>to do this a little bit quicker next time, because

0:01:56.160 --> 0:01:59.360
<v Speaker 2>now I've had several days to kind of stew in

0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.200
<v Speaker 2>my mind. How you second guess things. You think, oh,

0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:03.640
<v Speaker 2>it was like this or it ended like that, So

0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:07.520
<v Speaker 2>I've had some time to gather my thoughts and think

0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:11.720
<v Speaker 2>about it. So there's all right. It's interesting to me

0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.440
<v Speaker 2>that you said I had a good mindset. I did.

0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.320
<v Speaker 2>I did when you and I spoke before the date.

0:02:17.400 --> 0:02:20.359
<v Speaker 2>I had a good mindset. I was super excited. I

0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:24.600
<v Speaker 2>felt good, I felt cute. I wore my stand up

0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:29.080
<v Speaker 2>only jeans. They looked great, but it was funny. As

0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:30.680
<v Speaker 2>the day went on, I had a little bit of

0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.639
<v Speaker 2>time to get back to my hotel room and get ready,

0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:39.000
<v Speaker 2>and I was alone. And sometimes being alone is not

0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:43.400
<v Speaker 2>a good space for me to get into. Because I

0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:47.360
<v Speaker 2>was shocking as it made sound can get into my

0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:51.280
<v Speaker 2>own head. I can start to twist my own thoughts

0:02:51.440 --> 0:02:55.919
<v Speaker 2>eight way sideways, good ones, bad ones, crazy ones, it

0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:58.639
<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter. I am the type of person that a

0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:02.320
<v Speaker 2>lot of time leads with fear. And I'll tell you

0:03:02.360 --> 0:03:06.240
<v Speaker 2>what I did. Ben. After we got done talking, I

0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:09.680
<v Speaker 2>started to think in my head, what if he's just

0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:13.120
<v Speaker 2>doing it for the podcast. What if he's just doing

0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:16.760
<v Speaker 2>someone a solid and he's just showing up just to

0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:18.760
<v Speaker 2>like make sure I have a date to talk about

0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.360
<v Speaker 2>on the podcast, Like he's not really into me, he's

0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:24.560
<v Speaker 2>not really in it to date me. And I started

0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:27.839
<v Speaker 2>to take these thoughts, Ben, And I really hope that

0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:31.000
<v Speaker 2>for anyone who might be listening, they can let me

0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.160
<v Speaker 2>know that I'm not alone here. But I started to

0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.120
<v Speaker 2>take these thoughts and I got caught up in my

0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:42.440
<v Speaker 2>head Ben, So I was really excited. I got ready,

0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:45.680
<v Speaker 2>I felt pretty. I got in the van and then

0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:48.240
<v Speaker 2>there was a bit of a ride to the concert.

0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:50.520
<v Speaker 2>You know, I tried to chat with the other girls nervously,

0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:52.600
<v Speaker 2>but I couldn't help but think about it, right, like,

0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:54.440
<v Speaker 2>what's it going to look like? Is it going to

0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:57.960
<v Speaker 2>be attractive? Will there be this like moment where I

0:03:58.000 --> 0:03:59.720
<v Speaker 2>come out of the car and my hair is blowing

0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.000
<v Speaker 2>in the wind and he is just falling over by,

0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:07.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, love at first sight? Or is he doing

0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:11.640
<v Speaker 2>this for a podcast, to be on a podcast to

0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.600
<v Speaker 2>say he went out with an old bachelorette for whatever reason, right?

0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:17.320
<v Speaker 2>Or is he just doing one of the producers of

0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:21.000
<v Speaker 2>solid I got up in my head. Now, from a

0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.839
<v Speaker 2>logistics point of view, what I would like to see

0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:25.240
<v Speaker 2>us do moving forward is there was a transition of

0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.040
<v Speaker 2>getting the group of us, because again I told you,

0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:29.400
<v Speaker 2>we weren't alone. There were several people there, a few

0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.479
<v Speaker 2>other of the girls. Ashley I was there, and Kathy

0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.039
<v Speaker 2>and Susan and Daisy. You know, it was a bunch

0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:37.480
<v Speaker 2>of girls there and God bless them, I love them.

0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:38.960
<v Speaker 2>They were all cheering me on. They were a girl.

0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:40.800
<v Speaker 2>If you need to be saved wink twice, you know

0:04:40.839 --> 0:04:43.600
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. Like everybody was if he's not cute,

0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:45.680
<v Speaker 2>we'll take you to the bathroom. Whatever. Everybody was on

0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:49.320
<v Speaker 2>my side, but it wasn't a traditional date where I

0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:52.120
<v Speaker 2>was just alone with this man. The other piece is

0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:54.159
<v Speaker 2>is I didn't meet him right away. So when the

0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:55.680
<v Speaker 2>group all got out, there was a whole lot of

0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.960
<v Speaker 2>shuffle of getting us into the suite, getting everybody into

0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:01.560
<v Speaker 2>the building, and sending ou through security. So I looked

0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:03.280
<v Speaker 2>around and I only saw a couple of the other

0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.080
<v Speaker 2>guys that were part of our group. And so then

0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:07.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, I wonder if it's that one or

0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:08.880
<v Speaker 2>what if it's not. What if it's that one. I

0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:10.640
<v Speaker 2>don't find him super attractive, but the other one is

0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:13.840
<v Speaker 2>super cute. What if it's him? I just got all

0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.799
<v Speaker 2>twisted up in my head then about everything.

0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:19.320
<v Speaker 1>Let's pause here. Let's pause here. I think the first

0:05:19.400 --> 0:05:23.840
<v Speaker 1>note is very common one. You're not alone. I think

0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:28.400
<v Speaker 1>when it comes to high pressure situations, we create. Humans

0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:34.920
<v Speaker 1>typically create a racket in their own heads, and that

0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:40.920
<v Speaker 1>racket is speaking to an insecurity of vulnerability, a past thought, trauma,

0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.200
<v Speaker 1>et cetera. And it becomes heightened when we're kind of

0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:49.920
<v Speaker 1>in this survival mode, like this high anxiety nervous mode,

0:05:49.960 --> 0:05:53.240
<v Speaker 1>which even if you weren't nervous, even if you weren't anxious,

0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.520
<v Speaker 1>you're you're gonna have that still inside of you because

0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:58.680
<v Speaker 1>it's something different. You're just not used to it. You

0:05:58.680 --> 0:05:59.880
<v Speaker 1>even done it in a long time. You have a

0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:01.680
<v Speaker 1>you have been out there in a long time. I

0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:05.400
<v Speaker 1>met somebody new, and so you're not alone in that.

0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:10.920
<v Speaker 1>I think for listeners, most people will relate with the

0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:14.880
<v Speaker 1>thoughts of everything spirals out of control right before this

0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.680
<v Speaker 1>first date. Everything comes to mind right before this first date.

0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:22.640
<v Speaker 1>It's a racket. It's not true, but that doesn't matter.

0:06:22.960 --> 0:06:24.599
<v Speaker 1>It's still in your head, so it's true at the

0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:29.360
<v Speaker 1>time to you, and there are tools to eliminate those

0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:31.720
<v Speaker 1>thoughts or at least place yourself in a different position.

0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:35.120
<v Speaker 1>One of those for this would have been, Hey, you

0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.000
<v Speaker 1>weren't feeling good that day. I think that's a great

0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:40.480
<v Speaker 1>excuse and very real excuse for you. You had a migraine

0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.160
<v Speaker 1>that day that set you back a bit. Also, you

0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:47.200
<v Speaker 1>were going to this huge event. You were a past

0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:49.760
<v Speaker 1>bachelorette that day, so of course you're going to think

0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:53.000
<v Speaker 1>about that. Because you're surrounded by bachelor contestants, it was

0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.240
<v Speaker 1>just two of you. You're not playing the role of

0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.839
<v Speaker 1>the bachelorette. You were just playing the role of you.

0:06:59.120 --> 0:07:01.000
<v Speaker 1>So I just want to be clear, you're not alone.

0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.480
<v Speaker 1>Doesn't make you It makes you unique, but you're always unique.

0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:08.120
<v Speaker 1>It doesn't make you different in a bad way.

0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.120
<v Speaker 2>In my very own special way, Ben, Yes, very own

0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:18.720
<v Speaker 2>special way, all right. When I meet him, it was

0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:22.840
<v Speaker 2>a simple like, hey, how are you. I give him

0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:26.320
<v Speaker 2>a hug. I think him for coming right. I don't

0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:29.400
<v Speaker 2>believe the task in hand is easy on his part.

0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.000
<v Speaker 2>He is stepping into a different world. He's a very

0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.600
<v Speaker 2>normal man. He works a normal job, stepping into this

0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.840
<v Speaker 2>world what we have asked him to do to date

0:07:37.880 --> 0:07:39.760
<v Speaker 2>me on a podcast where I am now going to

0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.760
<v Speaker 2>come here and I'm going to talk to you, my friend, Ben.

0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell you all the details. He's going

0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:46.240
<v Speaker 2>to listen or he's not going to listen. I don't

0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.720
<v Speaker 2>really know. But then he's he's putting himself out there too, right,

0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:53.240
<v Speaker 2>it's a big deal. Okay. First impressions, I found him

0:07:53.320 --> 0:07:56.960
<v Speaker 2>very attractive. He wasn't as tall as you told me,

0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:01.000
<v Speaker 2>But like listen, I had heels on. It's fine. I

0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:04.760
<v Speaker 2>found him very attractive. He was a very good looking man.

0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:10.240
<v Speaker 2>He had really beautiful blue eyes, and I told you

0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.640
<v Speaker 2>that eye contact is very important for me. So I

0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:16.880
<v Speaker 2>appreciated the way that he engaged with me and talked

0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.600
<v Speaker 2>to me. He was attentive in the fact that he

0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.120
<v Speaker 2>was asking me if he could get me something to drink,

0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.680
<v Speaker 2>he was asking me if I wanted to sit down.

0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:30.000
<v Speaker 2>And I just appreciate those. I mean, I say, on

0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:35.160
<v Speaker 2>the most basic level, the chivalry part of the mill persona. Right.

0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:40.480
<v Speaker 2>There was a point when we were talking where he

0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:44.440
<v Speaker 2>said to me, and given the situation, again, I'm stating

0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.080
<v Speaker 2>it was not a normal first date. We were not

0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:47.480
<v Speaker 2>going out where it was just the two of us.

0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:50.960
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't this romantic setting. It wasn't quiet by any means.

0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.600
<v Speaker 2>We were screaming over the Jonas brothers in between that

0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.760
<v Speaker 2>I was doing photos and videos and things that I

0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:00.520
<v Speaker 2>had committed to and not to me. The rest of

0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:04.679
<v Speaker 2>my girlfriends were all there. So given the unique situation,

0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:07.880
<v Speaker 2>we're kind of chatting and he leaned over at one

0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:10.840
<v Speaker 2>point and he said to me, this isn't exactly what

0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:13.440
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was going to be. And I was like,

0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:19.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry. What did you expect And he said, well,

0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:21.360
<v Speaker 2>I was told I was going to get to know you,

0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.600
<v Speaker 2>and I said, well, let's get to know each other.

0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Those are my expectations too, And in that moment, I

0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:32.000
<v Speaker 2>found that little glimmer beIN to be honest with him,

0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:35.880
<v Speaker 2>and I pride myself on my honesty, and what I

0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:40.240
<v Speaker 2>said to him in that moment was I apologize. I

0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:41.920
<v Speaker 2>got in my head a little bit because I wasn't

0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:43.640
<v Speaker 2>sure how much of you would be showing up to

0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:47.400
<v Speaker 2>meet me, or how much of you was showing up

0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:51.560
<v Speaker 2>to just fill the position of this night, and I said,

0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.600
<v Speaker 2>I was really looking forward to getting to know you

0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.320
<v Speaker 2>and seeing where this could go, and I would really

0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.680
<v Speaker 2>like that if we could start over. It was great.

0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:05.880
<v Speaker 2>We ended up having some really genuine conversations. I got

0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:07.120
<v Speaker 2>to know him a bit, I got to know about

0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:09.600
<v Speaker 2>his family, I got to hear about his job. Neither

0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:12.679
<v Speaker 2>one of us knew very many Jonas Brothers songs, so

0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.280
<v Speaker 2>that was a lot of fun too, because every time

0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:15.680
<v Speaker 2>we were kind of like, well I don't really know

0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.000
<v Speaker 2>this one, but I know this one. He There were

0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:19.880
<v Speaker 2>a couple of moments because it was so loud, we

0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:24.079
<v Speaker 2>had to speak really closely to each other, which which

0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:28.200
<v Speaker 2>I found a little enticing, you know. And there were

0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:29.920
<v Speaker 2>a couple of moments where he put his hand on

0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:31.679
<v Speaker 2>my back, and then I was like, then I turned

0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.360
<v Speaker 2>myself crazy again. I was like, oh, he listened to

0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.199
<v Speaker 2>the podcast. He totally listened to me. Tell Ben that

0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:37.760
<v Speaker 2>I might not make out with him, but he can

0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:39.320
<v Speaker 2>put the hand his hand on the small of my

0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.520
<v Speaker 2>back and a little thirty is good. I'm telling you, Ben,

0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:46.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm nuts. I'm nuts. I really enjoyed the conversation with

0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:49.720
<v Speaker 2>this man. I found that he had a lot of

0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:53.760
<v Speaker 2>qualities that I find attractive in someone that I would

0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.880
<v Speaker 2>want to date. It was a very hard scenario to

0:10:57.000 --> 0:11:03.120
<v Speaker 2>find it to be datable in that moment. But I

0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:08.520
<v Speaker 2>left that evening thinking I would have explored a second date. Okay,

0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:10.880
<v Speaker 2>if he had asked for my phone number at the

0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:12.360
<v Speaker 2>end of the night, I would have given it to him.

0:11:12.360 --> 0:11:12.840
<v Speaker 2>But he did not.

0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:13.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.480
<v Speaker 2>Now, in his defense, I don't know if I was

0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:20.080
<v Speaker 2>hard to read, if the situation was hard to read,

0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:23.640
<v Speaker 2>or if he just didn't like me. But I left

0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.760
<v Speaker 2>the date and talking to him and getting to know him,

0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:29.040
<v Speaker 2>and I found him physically attracted and attract him and

0:11:29.080 --> 0:11:33.000
<v Speaker 2>his personality attractive. I would have entertained a second date

0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:34.600
<v Speaker 2>with just the two of us so that we could

0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:36.840
<v Speaker 2>have been alone and talked more and gotten to know

0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.240
<v Speaker 2>each other more. I would have enjoyed that. But he

0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:41.839
<v Speaker 2>did not ask, and I wasn't going to offer it up.

0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.240
<v Speaker 1>Do you was that a surprise to you or did

0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 1>you see that kind of coming? Were you reading into

0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.680
<v Speaker 1>it as a night continued and saying, yeah, I don't

0:11:50.720 --> 0:11:53.840
<v Speaker 1>know if this is going in a place for him

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:55.240
<v Speaker 1>where he would want a second date.

0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I felt like if he was into it, he would

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.800
<v Speaker 2>have shot a shot. That's what I felt like. Yeah,

0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:08.559
<v Speaker 2>but I cannot put my assumptions. I tend to run

0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:10.040
<v Speaker 2>with the fact that like, oh, that's not how I

0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.440
<v Speaker 2>would have treated someone. That's not what I would have done.

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't put those assumptions onto other people. I thought

0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.080
<v Speaker 2>the conversation that we had was really, really great. We

0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.560
<v Speaker 2>talked about cooking, you know, he enjoys to cook. We

0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 2>talked about his kids, we talked about my kids, we

0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:26.520
<v Speaker 2>talked about our pets. I thought the conversation was really easy,

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.520
<v Speaker 2>and it flowed very well. I think the scenario that

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:34.160
<v Speaker 2>we were in was not romantic. I thought by the

0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:36.920
<v Speaker 2>end he might at least ask to keep in touch.

0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:41.360
<v Speaker 2>So was I shocked, No, because I think given everything

0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:43.559
<v Speaker 2>that I've been through, Ben, it takes a lot to

0:12:43.600 --> 0:12:47.480
<v Speaker 2>shock me now, you know. But I wasn't shocked. I

0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:51.040
<v Speaker 2>would say that I was a little disappointed. I enjoyed

0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 2>the conversation. I would have liked to have seen if

0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:56.840
<v Speaker 2>it could have gone to a second date, or at

0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:00.679
<v Speaker 2>least had a conversation at the very least. I wanted

0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:03.079
<v Speaker 2>to text him the next day and say, hey, man,

0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I realized that wasn't normal, thank you for showing up,

0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.200
<v Speaker 2>thank you for asking really great questions, thank you for

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:12.480
<v Speaker 2>a genuine conversation. I wouldn't have minded, you know, if

0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.640
<v Speaker 2>we kept in touch and had a second date. But

0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:18.840
<v Speaker 2>he didn't try, and so for me, the actions speak

0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:22.480
<v Speaker 2>louder than the words. If he really wanted to, he

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.800
<v Speaker 2>would I kind of hate that saying, but it's also

0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:27.400
<v Speaker 2>really true. If he wanted to keep in touch, he

0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 2>would have shot his shot. He would have said, Hey,

0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 2>I really enjoyed getting to know you. Do you mind

0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:33.600
<v Speaker 2>if we talk more. I would have absolutely said yes.

0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:48.120
<v Speaker 1>Now, before the conversation started, or before the date started,

0:13:48.200 --> 0:13:50.600
<v Speaker 1>you and I did have a conversation, and you talked

0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.840
<v Speaker 1>about how first dates are really great in group settings

0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:57.960
<v Speaker 1>because there is very little pressure, and this seemed like

0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.640
<v Speaker 1>a lot of fun. Yes, a concert, we could say

0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.360
<v Speaker 1>it's an abnormal first date, but it's also a really

0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>great place to meet somebody. It is low pressure, there's

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:12.560
<v Speaker 1>good moments in between, there's a relatability to the songs

0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:17.160
<v Speaker 1>being played. You know, we go on looking back, now,

0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:21.920
<v Speaker 1>do you wish that you were in a different scenario

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.680
<v Speaker 1>for this first date? Do you think that would have

0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 1>changed things?

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:28.160
<v Speaker 2>No? I actually really liked it, Ben Okay. I think

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:33.040
<v Speaker 2>what I took responsibility for was that he was disappointed.

0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 2>I took responsibility for that. I was not disappointed in

0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 2>any way. I had a really great time. I loved

0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.360
<v Speaker 2>sharing it with the other women in the suite. I

0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:46.560
<v Speaker 2>loved the concert, I loved the Jonas brothers. I loved

0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 2>being in that situation and meeting him there because there

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.440
<v Speaker 2>was no pressure. There was no pressure to leave there

0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>with him, like it was like goodbye. I would absolutely

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.960
<v Speaker 2>have done it again. I think where I went wrong.

0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:00.320
<v Speaker 2>Is that I took the responsibility that he was disappoint

0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:02.800
<v Speaker 2>he expected more out of the date. And again I

0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.480
<v Speaker 2>don't know what he was told by producers. I don't

0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.480
<v Speaker 2>know what was sold to him. But I just felt

0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 2>responsible for his disappointment when he said to me, I

0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:13.680
<v Speaker 2>was under the understanding that I was going to get

0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:16.200
<v Speaker 2>to know you. I felt bad in that moment because

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:20.120
<v Speaker 2>I was open and willing. I wanted that as well.

0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.360
<v Speaker 2>I felt bad that he was disappointed that he wasn't

0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:23.800
<v Speaker 2>getting that.

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I don't know him. I wasn't there at the date.

0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:31.120
<v Speaker 1>I would my argument to that would be, it sounds

0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:32.960
<v Speaker 1>like you did get to know each other a little bit.

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.440
<v Speaker 1>You just rattled off five different things that you took

0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:41.320
<v Speaker 1>away from his life that you heard and saw and

0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:45.320
<v Speaker 1>he told you about. For a first date, five different

0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:50.520
<v Speaker 1>facts about somebody is a big accomplishment. You knew about

0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.880
<v Speaker 1>his family, his kids, his job. That's a great first date.

0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:58.120
<v Speaker 1>So I guess I am confused from an outside perspective

0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:01.760
<v Speaker 1>of what he didn't get to know about you. Do

0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:03.840
<v Speaker 1>you feel like you held back? Do you feel like

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:05.880
<v Speaker 1>you showed him interest?

0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:06.360
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Where was he missing this?

0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.720
<v Speaker 2>That's what I think it was in I think it

0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>was in the beginning of the night, Ben, because there

0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:15.120
<v Speaker 2>was a slaps when we got there. I wasn't introduced

0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:18.120
<v Speaker 2>to him right away, so there was a lapse when

0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:21.040
<v Speaker 2>we got there where no one introduced us, you know,

0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.160
<v Speaker 2>so we weren't able to see each other at first

0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 2>and talk and then the music was playing, so it

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:27.720
<v Speaker 2>was I think for him it was missed. But I

0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.080
<v Speaker 2>would say once he shared that with me, I tried

0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.000
<v Speaker 2>to be very conscious of that, and we were able

0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:35.280
<v Speaker 2>to kind of stand back in the suite. We didn't sit,

0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:37.760
<v Speaker 2>you know, in the stadium. We stood back in the

0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 2>in the suite and talked. I felt like the conversation

0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.680
<v Speaker 2>was good, and once I was really aware of what

0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:48.480
<v Speaker 2>he felt, I did. I tried to be really conscious

0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:50.240
<v Speaker 2>of that and like, okay, man, let's get to know

0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.680
<v Speaker 2>each other. Then here I am. This is what I do.

0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:55.320
<v Speaker 2>These are the things. He asked, some really great questions.

0:16:55.960 --> 0:17:00.720
<v Speaker 2>Some of them I feel like were second or third

0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.200
<v Speaker 2>date worthy. They were a little too serious for the

0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:07.959
<v Speaker 2>scenario and and where we were. But maybe he was thinking, well, whatever, Ben,

0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:09.719
<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't assume what he was thinking. But if I

0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.119
<v Speaker 2>had to look at the scenario. Maybe he was thinking,

0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:13.880
<v Speaker 2>this might be the only time I get to talk

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.679
<v Speaker 2>to this woman, so I'm just gonna ask everything I

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:17.439
<v Speaker 2>need to in case I never see her again. But

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.840
<v Speaker 2>some of the questions were a little heavy for a

0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:23.399
<v Speaker 2>first date, especially a first date surrounded by other people,

0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 2>especially a first date at a concert. He asked me

0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:29.960
<v Speaker 2>some in depth questions about my divorce and something as

0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:34.280
<v Speaker 2>serious as like, you know, looking back, is there a

0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:36.800
<v Speaker 2>place where you look at it if you could do

0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:39.320
<v Speaker 2>something differently to change the scenario or the outcome. I

0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 2>just thought in that moment, I thought, holy man, this

0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:44.320
<v Speaker 2>is a little heavy for a first date. Great question,

0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.399
<v Speaker 2>and I'm absolutely open to it. But it just wasn't

0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.359
<v Speaker 2>the time and the place. But again, I don't know

0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 2>what was going through his head at the time. Did

0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.720
<v Speaker 2>he listen to the podcast before he came in. Was

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.080
<v Speaker 2>he like, Okay, I've got to ask check this off,

0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:58.640
<v Speaker 2>these in depth questions. I've got to put my hand

0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.320
<v Speaker 2>on her back. I've I've got to be you know, attractive,

0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:03.479
<v Speaker 2>I've gotta i've got to be the man, you know.

0:18:03.760 --> 0:18:05.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what was going on in his head,

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.200
<v Speaker 2>but some of the questions I felt like were would

0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:11.920
<v Speaker 2>have been good for for women knew each other better

0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.920
<v Speaker 2>and for a moment that we could get in depth

0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:18.080
<v Speaker 2>like that. And I think I shared to you too, Ben,

0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:20.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know the dudes and don'ts at first dates.

0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 2>But like I don't want to hear about your ex wife,

0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:25.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to hear about the trauma you cared

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.679
<v Speaker 2>from that there is always his truth, her truth, and

0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.879
<v Speaker 2>the truth. So like you're my friend, you're listening to me,

0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:34.760
<v Speaker 2>so you're always gonna feel sorry for me. But I

0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:36.480
<v Speaker 2>can tell you I was not perfect in my marriage.

0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:38.840
<v Speaker 2>There's a time and a place for that, and I

0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:40.800
<v Speaker 2>don't want to do it on a first date. I

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:41.399
<v Speaker 2>just don't.

0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:43.639
<v Speaker 1>I get that. I mean, I think that, and I

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.400
<v Speaker 1>think that's fair. I think that's a boundary that sometimes

0:18:46.520 --> 0:18:51.119
<v Speaker 1>though needs and would be needed to be communicated up front.

0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.960
<v Speaker 1>And I and I'm I know you're very capable and

0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 1>probably have communicated that. I mean, I like that he

0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:02.719
<v Speaker 1>took an interest. He obviously engaged in your life and

0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:05.680
<v Speaker 1>wanted to figure it out. You know, having any type

0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:09.840
<v Speaker 1>of conversation in today's world is something unique and special.

0:19:10.840 --> 0:19:14.360
<v Speaker 1>I think I go back to my question of something

0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:18.560
<v Speaker 1>was something had happened to where his expectations weren't met.

0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:21.320
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you got back on track. He did

0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:24.160
<v Speaker 1>get to know you, and in a lot of ways,

0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.800
<v Speaker 1>we could say, ask questions to get to know you

0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:30.400
<v Speaker 1>more than probably you were wanting to give up at

0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 1>this point.

0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:34.480
<v Speaker 2>So that for me poses the question why didn't he

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:35.879
<v Speaker 2>ask for my phone number?

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.960
<v Speaker 1>Well, let's get into it. So from an outside perspective,

0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:40.399
<v Speaker 1>and we did get to talk to Cynthia. As I

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:44.439
<v Speaker 1>mentioned before, you know, he didn't ask for your phone number.

0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:49.080
<v Speaker 1>Where the other girls because I'm sure they're excited, they're interested,

0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:52.480
<v Speaker 1>They're also focused on the Jonas Brothers concert and everything

0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:55.879
<v Speaker 1>going on there before we get to the end of

0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:59.840
<v Speaker 1>the night. During the night, I'm sure they are whispering

0:20:00.080 --> 0:20:03.080
<v Speaker 1>getting moments with you. Were they reassuring you that this

0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:06.760
<v Speaker 1>looked good and felt good From an outside perspective.

0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:11.879
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I felt more so from their perspective

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.879
<v Speaker 2>than they were just checking on me. Are you okay?

0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:16.879
<v Speaker 2>Do you need rescuing? That's what I felt like, like

0:20:16.920 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 2>the girls were like, do you need rescuing in this moment?

0:20:19.600 --> 0:20:21.440
<v Speaker 2>Are you bored out of your mind? Are you okay?

0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:23.680
<v Speaker 2>I was really okay. When the girls would come and

0:20:23.760 --> 0:20:25.480
<v Speaker 2>check on me, I would say, no, I'm totally fine.

0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:29.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm totally fine. I was genuinely enjoying the conversation with

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:33.320
<v Speaker 2>this man. I believe from their perspective is they just

0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:35.960
<v Speaker 2>wanted to be really good wing women, you know, like

0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:38.159
<v Speaker 2>if I need a saving, they were ready to save me.

0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:40.600
<v Speaker 1>They're in the saving mindset. My role tonight is to

0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:45.480
<v Speaker 1>help her if she needs help, not necessarily, which pump

0:20:45.520 --> 0:20:48.159
<v Speaker 1>you up and be like this is awesome, this is great,

0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.719
<v Speaker 1>and maybe pump him up wing woman you from his

0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.080
<v Speaker 1>side to be like she's a catch.

0:20:53.640 --> 0:20:57.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, so okay. So that was also the weird situation

0:20:57.200 --> 0:20:58.720
<v Speaker 2>is there were all of these people there who are

0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:01.800
<v Speaker 2>my friends. Right, there's you know, people there for the podcast.

0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:04.560
<v Speaker 2>There's there's video, there's photos, there's you know, we're doing

0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:06.879
<v Speaker 2>all of the things because to an extent, it is

0:21:06.920 --> 0:21:08.800
<v Speaker 2>a show that we are producing and putting out for

0:21:08.840 --> 0:21:11.920
<v Speaker 2>our listeners to be able to follow along, Right, this

0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.720
<v Speaker 2>has to be like bonkers to him and way outside

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:17.439
<v Speaker 2>he works a normal job. Been like, he works a

0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:19.280
<v Speaker 2>normal job. This has to be way outside of his

0:21:19.320 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 2>comfort zone. There is that, but like I think that

0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I wish other people had introduced themselves to him, because

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:30.000
<v Speaker 2>no one really did, so he was put in the

0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:32.919
<v Speaker 2>scenario where he doesn't know anyone else. He probably recognized

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:35.480
<v Speaker 2>some of the other faces right from the show, but

0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 2>he didn't know anyone else. But no one really introduced

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:42.800
<v Speaker 2>There's themselves to him. And I guess I also given

0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 2>that looking at it right now, in this very moment

0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:47.520
<v Speaker 2>talking to you, Ben, I should have been better about that.

0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:52.760
<v Speaker 2>I should have introduced him so he didn't feel so excluded.

0:21:53.040 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 2>And I hope that he didn't feel that way, but

0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:57.159
<v Speaker 2>I don't really know that. I guess, looking back, in

0:21:57.240 --> 0:22:00.800
<v Speaker 2>a scenario where I felt so incredibly comfort and surrounded

0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:05.399
<v Speaker 2>by women diadore, maybe he felt a little excluded. And

0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:08.640
<v Speaker 2>now I'm literally thinking about that in this very moment, Ben,

0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:10.280
<v Speaker 2>and I feel really bad about that.

0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:14.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean, hey, these are dates. I mean at the

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.480
<v Speaker 1>basis of all this, and we'll get into kind of

0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:18.840
<v Speaker 1>your future and dating and what you've learned and felt,

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:21.960
<v Speaker 1>but the base of all this, as we've said many

0:22:21.960 --> 0:22:25.000
<v Speaker 1>times here, when you're getting into the dating world, no

0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:28.680
<v Speaker 1>matter if you're you know, doing it for a second time,

0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:32.280
<v Speaker 1>if you're doing it at the beginning dates are like,

0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:35.800
<v Speaker 1>the only way to find the match is to keep dating,

0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:38.080
<v Speaker 1>is to keep getting out there going good dates, bad dates,

0:22:38.119 --> 0:22:43.200
<v Speaker 1>make mistakes, mess up. As long as you don't sit

0:22:43.240 --> 0:22:46.240
<v Speaker 1>here today and it's like, I absolutely crushed that dude.

0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:50.159
<v Speaker 1>I made him feel so small. I destroyed his confidence.

0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:55.320
<v Speaker 1>I like absolutely attacked him with my words and my

0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:58.280
<v Speaker 1>like the ways I as long as you're not doing that,

0:22:58.320 --> 0:23:00.600
<v Speaker 1>we're good. Like he's he's sitting there tonight, He's like,

0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:03.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm fine, I went on a date with a beautiful woman.

0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:06.240
<v Speaker 1>Like it didn't work out for whatever reason. He's good

0:23:06.240 --> 0:23:08.560
<v Speaker 1>with that, I'm sure, and he's gonna be okay.

0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Yp So I hope so you know, I genuinely want

0:23:11.920 --> 0:23:13.879
<v Speaker 2>to be a good person, and I hope that he

0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:17.840
<v Speaker 2>walked away knowing that he got to know me truly

0:23:17.880 --> 0:23:19.920
<v Speaker 2>and authentically, Like that's all that I can do.

0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:23.679
<v Speaker 1>Well, here's what Cynthia shared with us. Cynthia said, the

0:23:23.680 --> 0:23:27.679
<v Speaker 1>body language looked awesome. I think if she wasn't married

0:23:27.840 --> 0:23:33.000
<v Speaker 1>and she was into somebody of the same gender, she

0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:35.720
<v Speaker 1>would date you in a second. She had nothing but

0:23:35.960 --> 0:23:39.919
<v Speaker 1>incredible things to say about you. She said, you looked hot,

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.760
<v Speaker 1>you had great energy. You did everything right, was her

0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:47.960
<v Speaker 1>exact words. Cynthia was a big fan of you. She

0:23:48.080 --> 0:23:51.080
<v Speaker 1>did get to speak to your date. They had mutual

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:54.760
<v Speaker 1>friends in common, and she didn't necessarily know why the

0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:56.560
<v Speaker 1>date didn't work out, but she did bring up at

0:23:56.640 --> 0:24:00.359
<v Speaker 1>some moment, he did ask you to step out so

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:02.040
<v Speaker 1>that you could talk more. Was that true?

0:24:05.600 --> 0:24:05.919
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:08.399
<v Speaker 1>And then I said no, why?

0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:14.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay. So this happened pretty early on when he shared

0:24:14.640 --> 0:24:19.840
<v Speaker 2>with me that it was going a little different than

0:24:19.840 --> 0:24:22.239
<v Speaker 2>he anticipated because he was under the understanding that he

0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:23.640
<v Speaker 2>was going to get to know me. So he asked

0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:26.240
<v Speaker 2>me if I would step outside now the crazy person

0:24:26.240 --> 0:24:28.600
<v Speaker 2>that I am. I can tell you where my mind went. Okay,

0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:30.280
<v Speaker 2>I thought, Hey, I'm not going to go in the

0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:32.399
<v Speaker 2>hallway with this person that I just met three seconds

0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:36.000
<v Speaker 2>ago and be alone with him. Be no, dude, we're

0:24:36.000 --> 0:24:39.399
<v Speaker 2>at the Jonahs Brother's concert. Like at the Jonahs Brother's concert,

0:24:39.440 --> 0:24:41.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to go sit out on the hallway

0:24:41.080 --> 0:24:43.159
<v Speaker 2>and talk like. I just don't like, can we just

0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:47.880
<v Speaker 2>talk right here? And I guess it just felt uncomfortable.

0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:50.000
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't even like we it wasn't even like we

0:24:50.040 --> 0:24:52.639
<v Speaker 2>eased into it. It was just like, hey, I was

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:55.159
<v Speaker 2>expecting something else and that's not what I'm getting. Do

0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:57.280
<v Speaker 2>you want to go outside and talk? It wasn't like,

0:24:57.359 --> 0:25:01.040
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, this conversation is like really awesome. I'd

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:02.600
<v Speaker 2>love to get to know you more. And it's a

0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:05.040
<v Speaker 2>little loud and here it can we go outside? It

0:25:05.160 --> 0:25:09.719
<v Speaker 2>felt very forced and not natural, and in that moment

0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:14.280
<v Speaker 2>I said no, I didn't know him from from the

0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:17.359
<v Speaker 2>next person, and there was the other part of me

0:25:17.440 --> 0:25:19.160
<v Speaker 2>it was like no, dude, Like, we're at the Jonas

0:25:19.200 --> 0:25:21.119
<v Speaker 2>Brothers concert. Like, we're at a concert. This is what

0:25:21.160 --> 0:25:23.920
<v Speaker 2>we said we're gonna do. Let's enjoy the concert. Let's

0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:26.400
<v Speaker 2>enjoy the concert. We can have seven other dates where

0:25:26.400 --> 0:25:27.919
<v Speaker 2>we go to dinner and we're alone and just the

0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:30.320
<v Speaker 2>two of us and have in depth conversations, but like

0:25:30.400 --> 0:25:32.639
<v Speaker 2>right now, like, let's live our best lives at the

0:25:32.720 --> 0:25:35.639
<v Speaker 2>Jonas Brother's concert and being a suite and have a

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:36.119
<v Speaker 2>good time.

0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you are completely right to be able to

0:25:39.080 --> 0:25:40.919
<v Speaker 1>say no to that, and I get you. The what

0:25:41.000 --> 0:25:44.280
<v Speaker 1>you're saying is, this is a blast of a night.

0:25:44.520 --> 0:25:49.200
<v Speaker 1>This is a lot of fun. We're at the Jonas

0:25:49.200 --> 0:25:53.080
<v Speaker 1>Brothers concert with some incredible people. It sounds like to me.

0:25:53.240 --> 0:25:55.320
<v Speaker 1>And again, I don't know this guy, and I'm only

0:25:55.320 --> 0:25:58.040
<v Speaker 1>getting your perspective. In Cynthia's perspective, it sounds like to me,

0:25:58.640 --> 0:26:02.359
<v Speaker 1>he is intentional. I guess there's a way to say this.

0:26:03.119 --> 0:26:08.399
<v Speaker 1>He doesn't want the the like the fluff of a date.

0:26:09.080 --> 0:26:12.359
<v Speaker 1>And from all that we've spoken about you and I,

0:26:12.880 --> 0:26:16.080
<v Speaker 1>you want the intentionality, You want the depth, you want

0:26:16.119 --> 0:26:19.000
<v Speaker 1>that person to get to know you. But you also,

0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:23.199
<v Speaker 1>at this stage in your life, want the fun, like

0:26:23.320 --> 0:26:26.040
<v Speaker 1>you want a partner to have fun with and not

0:26:26.160 --> 0:26:30.840
<v Speaker 1>to always be serious with. And especially in a first date,

0:26:31.119 --> 0:26:32.520
<v Speaker 1>I think it's one of the easiest things about a

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:35.480
<v Speaker 1>first date is that you can just go and have

0:26:35.560 --> 0:26:40.280
<v Speaker 1>a good time because there's really no expectation other than

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:43.320
<v Speaker 1>I've been The least in my world would be do

0:26:43.400 --> 0:26:47.239
<v Speaker 1>I finally find you physically attractive or not? Yes or no?

0:26:47.680 --> 0:26:50.919
<v Speaker 1>Is one expectation of a first date. And do we

0:26:51.040 --> 0:26:53.960
<v Speaker 1>have enough fun to try to have a second date

0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:58.200
<v Speaker 1>that then starts to increase our one on one time.

0:26:58.720 --> 0:27:03.240
<v Speaker 1>That's for anybody listening. Don't have huge expectations for a

0:27:03.280 --> 0:27:06.160
<v Speaker 1>first date. First date is do I find you attractive

0:27:06.240 --> 0:27:07.879
<v Speaker 1>enough to want to see you again in my life,

0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:10.000
<v Speaker 1>and too, do I like you enough as a human

0:27:10.040 --> 0:27:11.760
<v Speaker 1>to want to see you again in my life. If

0:27:11.800 --> 0:27:15.080
<v Speaker 1>those two things cross the box, I think, hey, go

0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:18.720
<v Speaker 1>have a second date. But the first date is like practice.

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:21.640
<v Speaker 2>I think that's how I felt. Then, I think that's

0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:24.400
<v Speaker 2>how I felt, and that's why that's why I went.

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:29.560
<v Speaker 2>He did ask, and I appreciated him asking, and I

0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:32.480
<v Speaker 2>can acknowledge that probably wasn't very easy for him in

0:27:32.520 --> 0:27:34.199
<v Speaker 2>that moment to be like, hey, and I'd really just

0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:35.800
<v Speaker 2>like to talk to you when I go step outside.

0:27:35.960 --> 0:27:36.639
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't.

0:27:37.200 --> 0:27:38.040
<v Speaker 1>How did you say no?

0:27:38.680 --> 0:27:39.240
<v Speaker 2>I said no?

0:27:41.800 --> 0:27:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Did you explain yourself?

0:27:43.560 --> 0:27:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Fucking worst? I literally was like, yeah, no, I want

0:27:46.880 --> 0:27:50.239
<v Speaker 2>to watch the concert. And then within seconds I was like,

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:52.879
<v Speaker 2>hey man, I'm sorry. I don't want to sound like

0:27:52.880 --> 0:27:55.080
<v Speaker 2>a crazy like if you want to go sit outside

0:27:55.119 --> 0:27:56.760
<v Speaker 2>and talk, like, let's go sit outside and talk. I

0:27:56.800 --> 0:27:58.920
<v Speaker 2>just thought, you know, we're here, we're having a great time.

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:01.760
<v Speaker 2>It's the Jonas Brothers. Like, let's sing, let's dance, let's

0:28:02.080 --> 0:28:05.760
<v Speaker 2>enjoy the concert, I said, and I acknowledge that. To him,

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:08.040
<v Speaker 2>I said, I'm really sorry, like I'd love to talk.

0:28:08.040 --> 0:28:09.880
<v Speaker 2>I'd love to get to know you better, I think

0:28:10.000 --> 0:28:13.720
<v Speaker 2>just exactly the way you put it. Then I wanted

0:28:13.760 --> 0:28:16.720
<v Speaker 2>to have fun. I wanted to dance a little. I

0:28:16.920 --> 0:28:18.200
<v Speaker 2>really like to dance.

0:28:18.000 --> 0:28:19.240
<v Speaker 1>At did you guys dance?

0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:22.200
<v Speaker 2>He didn't dance. He didn't dance. I tried to wag

0:28:22.240 --> 0:28:24.040
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, but then it just felt weird because

0:28:24.040 --> 0:28:27.920
<v Speaker 2>he was just standing there. Yeah that's fair, so yes,

0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I you know, in that moment, I felt really awful,

0:28:31.119 --> 0:28:33.000
<v Speaker 2>and when it played back in my head within seconds,

0:28:33.040 --> 0:28:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, ah, you sound like such a bitch,

0:28:35.240 --> 0:28:37.520
<v Speaker 2>like and I did. I looked at him because I said,

0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:41.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm really sorry, Like, let's go outside and talk if

0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:42.760
<v Speaker 2>you want to talk like that's not I didn't mean

0:28:42.760 --> 0:28:45.240
<v Speaker 2>it that way. I don't want to come off sounding ungrateful.

0:28:45.280 --> 0:28:47.600
<v Speaker 2>I really am. But we're also like at the Jonas Brothers,

0:28:47.600 --> 0:28:50.240
<v Speaker 2>like it's great music, Like let's enjoy ourselves, because I

0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:51.800
<v Speaker 2>do believe there is a time and a place for

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:54.240
<v Speaker 2>some of those serious conversations, and I just don't know

0:28:54.320 --> 0:28:57.800
<v Speaker 2>that on a first date that was the place. And

0:28:57.840 --> 0:28:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I wanted it to be just like what you said.

0:28:59.560 --> 0:29:00.800
<v Speaker 2>I wanted it to be a lot of fun. I

0:29:00.800 --> 0:29:02.320
<v Speaker 2>wanted to walk away and think I had a lot

0:29:02.400 --> 0:29:04.240
<v Speaker 2>of fun with that guy, because I like to have fun.

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:06.240
<v Speaker 2>I like to laugh, I like to have a good time.

0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:09.560
<v Speaker 2>Personality is so important to me, and I want to

0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:12.160
<v Speaker 2>know that I can have a good time with someone.

0:29:12.440 --> 0:29:15.160
<v Speaker 2>And I just didn't, Ben, I didn't want to go

0:29:15.200 --> 0:29:18.320
<v Speaker 2>sit in the hallway in silence, in the bright lights

0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:21.760
<v Speaker 2>and talk about forever. I just didn't. I just didn't.

0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Again, I don't think you're wrong for saying no to that.

0:29:24.480 --> 0:29:27.640
<v Speaker 1>It was a question. You have all rights to say

0:29:27.720 --> 0:29:31.000
<v Speaker 1>yes or no. I do think the explanation probably helped

0:29:31.000 --> 0:29:34.880
<v Speaker 1>because if I was dating somebody and I said, can

0:29:34.880 --> 0:29:36.760
<v Speaker 1>we go out in the hallway and talk and they

0:29:36.800 --> 0:29:40.240
<v Speaker 1>said no, I think I then would start to create

0:29:40.280 --> 0:29:42.400
<v Speaker 1>the racket in my own head and create the narrative

0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:45.280
<v Speaker 1>of she just doesn't want to get to know me.

0:29:45.560 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 2>But let me lay it out for you for a

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:50.880
<v Speaker 2>visual bin. That was said pretty early on. The great

0:29:50.920 --> 0:29:54.560
<v Speaker 2>conversation that we had happened after, So it wasn't like

0:29:54.600 --> 0:29:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, yeah, no, bro, like I'm here

0:29:58.240 --> 0:30:02.160
<v Speaker 2>for Joe. It wasn't like that that happened. I said no,

0:30:02.440 --> 0:30:07.160
<v Speaker 2>and then we genuinely had great conversation up until the

0:30:07.240 --> 0:30:09.200
<v Speaker 2>very end, and then there was a moment he was like,

0:30:09.640 --> 0:30:12.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to run to the restroom. He walked out

0:30:12.280 --> 0:30:14.360
<v Speaker 2>with his buddy and when he came back, they were like, yeah, cool,

0:30:14.360 --> 0:30:16.280
<v Speaker 2>we're gonna go. This was a lot of fun. We'll

0:30:16.280 --> 0:30:18.400
<v Speaker 2>see you. There were hugs, we took photos together. I

0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:20.440
<v Speaker 2>have a photo if you would like to see him,

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I'll send it to you. And they were just like hugs.

0:30:23.240 --> 0:30:25.120
<v Speaker 2>It was so great to meet you. You're wonderful.

0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:35.440
<v Speaker 3>Goodbye.

0:30:36.240 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 1>You know my criticism here and I will say it

0:30:40.280 --> 0:30:42.720
<v Speaker 1>because I think people listening will be learning from you

0:30:42.760 --> 0:30:46.880
<v Speaker 1>as we continue on with this experience, but also relating

0:30:46.880 --> 0:30:51.480
<v Speaker 1>with you and hearing things. If somebody's listening, and I'm

0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:54.160
<v Speaker 1>speaking from a place of guilt, I when in my

0:30:54.280 --> 0:30:58.560
<v Speaker 1>single life, was the ultimate ghoster. I would go on

0:30:58.640 --> 0:31:02.200
<v Speaker 1>first dates and never know how to say, hey, I'm

0:31:02.200 --> 0:31:05.479
<v Speaker 1>not interested again. I never figured that one out. I

0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:10.560
<v Speaker 1>could learn from somebody on how to do that well.

0:31:10.640 --> 0:31:14.120
<v Speaker 1>But I do think there is a moment where we

0:31:14.320 --> 0:31:19.160
<v Speaker 1>as adults date where clarity is not only appreciated, it's

0:31:19.400 --> 0:31:23.320
<v Speaker 1>respected and it's necessary. So as he left that in

0:31:23.360 --> 0:31:25.960
<v Speaker 1>that manner, I think the best thing for him to

0:31:25.960 --> 0:31:29.080
<v Speaker 1>do would have been to tell you, hey, this was great.

0:31:29.200 --> 0:31:32.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't necessarily see us having a second date. But

0:31:32.960 --> 0:31:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I also think there is a world in which he

0:31:35.040 --> 0:31:37.360
<v Speaker 1>was nervous about how you would respond or how this

0:31:37.560 --> 0:31:39.720
<v Speaker 1>would respond, and I do think there's an added pressure.

0:31:39.760 --> 0:31:41.760
<v Speaker 1>So we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But

0:31:41.840 --> 0:31:47.480
<v Speaker 1>for most situations, again, first dates have very little expectation.

0:31:48.120 --> 0:31:51.400
<v Speaker 1>We should have very little expectation. But I think the

0:31:51.480 --> 0:31:54.479
<v Speaker 1>clarity of do I want to do this again is

0:31:55.000 --> 0:32:00.200
<v Speaker 1>really beneficial to both sides, and you didn't get that.

0:32:00.560 --> 0:32:02.400
<v Speaker 1>And so as we kind of close up here the

0:32:02.480 --> 0:32:05.040
<v Speaker 1>data is ending, he goes to the restroom, comes back in,

0:32:05.120 --> 0:32:08.080
<v Speaker 1>says they're gonna go, and that's the end for you.

0:32:08.080 --> 0:32:12.880
<v Speaker 1>You're still in a little bit of limbo on how

0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:15.920
<v Speaker 1>it ended and what happened. Am I correct?

0:32:16.200 --> 0:32:19.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he came to the concert with his best friend

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:24.400
<v Speaker 2>and his best friend's wife. She messaged me on Instagram

0:32:24.440 --> 0:32:26.200
<v Speaker 2>like the next day and sent me some photos and

0:32:26.320 --> 0:32:28.520
<v Speaker 2>was like, we had the best time ever. It was

0:32:28.560 --> 0:32:30.400
<v Speaker 2>so great to meet you. Let's keep in touch if

0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 2>you're ever in the area. I ride her back and

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:34.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, absolutely, it was a lot of fun to

0:32:34.680 --> 0:32:37.280
<v Speaker 2>meet you and your husband. I hope had a great time.

0:32:37.320 --> 0:32:40.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm a little unsure how that ended, and she just

0:32:40.200 --> 0:32:41.440
<v Speaker 2>kind of brushed it off and was like, yeah, it

0:32:41.520 --> 0:32:46.200
<v Speaker 2>was fine. So there has been no other conversation whatsoever.

0:32:48.600 --> 0:32:52.800
<v Speaker 2>I debated trying to find him just to thank him

0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 2>for coming and doing that and coming on a first date.

0:32:56.120 --> 0:32:58.200
<v Speaker 2>But I also just didn't feel like it was my

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:01.680
<v Speaker 2>place because I'm not hard to find Ben. He knows

0:33:01.680 --> 0:33:04.760
<v Speaker 2>my name, he know it's the podcast, he knows some

0:33:04.800 --> 0:33:06.800
<v Speaker 2>of the producers. If he wanted to get in touch,

0:33:07.080 --> 0:33:10.280
<v Speaker 2>he would, And maybe that's exactly what it is. Maybe

0:33:10.320 --> 0:33:15.200
<v Speaker 2>he left with clarity thinking this was a lot of fun,

0:33:15.520 --> 0:33:18.040
<v Speaker 2>what a great night out. I'm gonna call it a day.

0:33:18.080 --> 0:33:22.080
<v Speaker 2>She's not my vibe. Maybe I wasn't his vibe, and

0:33:22.240 --> 0:33:26.040
<v Speaker 2>that's okay, right. I feel pretty good about the date

0:33:26.080 --> 0:33:28.800
<v Speaker 2>and the conversation that we had, and all I can

0:33:28.840 --> 0:33:33.360
<v Speaker 2>do was like, I was me. I was me. I

0:33:33.360 --> 0:33:35.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't say anything that I would take back. I didn't

0:33:35.720 --> 0:33:39.120
<v Speaker 2>say anything too much. I gave what I wanted to

0:33:39.440 --> 0:33:42.600
<v Speaker 2>on a first date and allowed him insight on who

0:33:42.680 --> 0:33:46.560
<v Speaker 2>I was and the things that I like. I enjoyed

0:33:47.480 --> 0:33:52.920
<v Speaker 2>what he shared the conversation felt very easy. But maybe

0:33:52.960 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 2>from that point on there was nothing else there because ultimately,

0:33:57.400 --> 0:33:59.760
<v Speaker 2>if he would like to see me again, he would,

0:34:00.160 --> 0:34:03.800
<v Speaker 2>and if he doesn't, then let's move on to the next.

0:34:04.000 --> 0:34:05.479
<v Speaker 1>Let's move on to the next. Well, that's where we're

0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:08.400
<v Speaker 1>going from here. You've obviously just had your first date

0:34:08.800 --> 0:34:11.680
<v Speaker 1>on famously Available. Not a bad date. I will say

0:34:11.719 --> 0:34:14.960
<v Speaker 1>that this wasn't like a bad date by any means.

0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:17.960
<v Speaker 1>You were, you communicated. If he wanted a second date,

0:34:18.000 --> 0:34:19.759
<v Speaker 1>you would have been down to have a second date.

0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:23.440
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a win here. We're not shooting our

0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:26.480
<v Speaker 1>shot in the wrong direction. So you're ready to keep

0:34:26.480 --> 0:34:28.480
<v Speaker 1>getting out there, You're ready to keep dating. Do you

0:34:28.600 --> 0:34:32.879
<v Speaker 1>think this first experience has kind of changed you for

0:34:32.920 --> 0:34:35.840
<v Speaker 1>the next first date? Is it going to be easier, harder?

0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Kind of talk about where your mind's at.

0:34:38.719 --> 0:34:40.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's changed me. I just thought about

0:34:40.960 --> 0:34:43.600
<v Speaker 2>things that I would do differently, you know what I mean.

0:34:43.840 --> 0:34:45.640
<v Speaker 2>I just thought about things that I would do differently

0:34:45.719 --> 0:34:48.160
<v Speaker 2>given the next scenario. If it's another situation like that

0:34:48.200 --> 0:34:50.399
<v Speaker 2>where we go to a concert, or it's you know,

0:34:50.560 --> 0:34:53.279
<v Speaker 2>a sporting event or something like that, I don't want

0:34:53.280 --> 0:34:56.360
<v Speaker 2>so much time to lapse before I'm introduced to someone,

0:34:56.400 --> 0:34:59.040
<v Speaker 2>because there was this whole weird lingering where it was

0:34:59.160 --> 0:35:01.560
<v Speaker 2>just as there were other women there where they were like,

0:35:01.560 --> 0:35:04.200
<v Speaker 2>which one do you think he is? And please stop looking,

0:35:04.239 --> 0:35:07.759
<v Speaker 2>Please stop looking. Everybody's stop weird. That is weird. And

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 2>it felt a little awkward because he knew I was there,

0:35:10.680 --> 0:35:12.680
<v Speaker 2>and he probably knew who I was and knew what

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:15.120
<v Speaker 2>I looked like. So there was a moment where he

0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:17.759
<v Speaker 2>didn't come up and introduce himself to me. Neither one

0:35:17.760 --> 0:35:20.920
<v Speaker 2>of us, I'm guessing, knew what the right thing was.

0:35:21.360 --> 0:35:25.520
<v Speaker 2>I didn't know who he was, so we didn't know

0:35:25.600 --> 0:35:28.960
<v Speaker 2>how to do the date. So I think that there's

0:35:29.040 --> 0:35:31.600
<v Speaker 2>some tweaking that we need to work on because it

0:35:31.680 --> 0:35:34.839
<v Speaker 2>is not a traditional scenario. You're not calling me up

0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:37.719
<v Speaker 2>Ben and saying, Okay, you're going to meet Peter at

0:35:37.760 --> 0:35:39.880
<v Speaker 2>seven o'clock at the bar down the street. It's not

0:35:39.960 --> 0:35:44.160
<v Speaker 2>like that. It is a unique situation that I'm going

0:35:44.200 --> 0:35:46.320
<v Speaker 2>into to meet someone, so I think we need to

0:35:46.320 --> 0:35:48.640
<v Speaker 2>tweak it a little bit. So I walked away with

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:50.400
<v Speaker 2>some things that I would do differently. I would like

0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:52.080
<v Speaker 2>to meet the person right off the bat, so that

0:35:52.120 --> 0:35:54.479
<v Speaker 2>there is no awkwardness between me or him. I also

0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:56.480
<v Speaker 2>just like to get a good look at him and

0:35:56.520 --> 0:35:58.680
<v Speaker 2>see if I find him attractive from the get go.

0:35:59.520 --> 0:36:03.840
<v Speaker 2>And then and I think if there was anything that

0:36:03.880 --> 0:36:08.279
<v Speaker 2>I could do differently in that situation when he did

0:36:08.320 --> 0:36:10.759
<v Speaker 2>ask me to step aside, I maybe didn't have to

0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:12.840
<v Speaker 2>leave the very front of the suite. I could have

0:36:12.960 --> 0:36:15.000
<v Speaker 2>taken a seat at the back of the suite and

0:36:15.200 --> 0:36:17.960
<v Speaker 2>entertained him for fifteen minutes and had really great conversation.

0:36:18.000 --> 0:36:22.279
<v Speaker 2>Because the conversation was really good. And you're right, I

0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:25.160
<v Speaker 2>don't know what he was told, what he thought, but

0:36:25.239 --> 0:36:27.120
<v Speaker 2>he thought he was going to get to know me,

0:36:27.800 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 2>and I hate that he felt like he wasn't getting that.

0:36:30.320 --> 0:36:32.560
<v Speaker 2>I want to give that because I am doing this

0:36:32.600 --> 0:36:35.319
<v Speaker 2>for the right reasons. Ben, I get that question all

0:36:35.360 --> 0:36:40.279
<v Speaker 2>the time on social media. I'm so flattered. I met

0:36:40.320 --> 0:36:43.400
<v Speaker 2>several women who stopped me after the concert and we're like,

0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:47.000
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, we're following Famously Available, we're listening to

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:50.280
<v Speaker 2>the podcast You Go girl, We're all rooting you, rooting

0:36:50.320 --> 0:36:53.640
<v Speaker 2>for you. And I'm just so grateful for that that

0:36:53.719 --> 0:36:56.520
<v Speaker 2>people even care, but that there are other women who

0:36:56.560 --> 0:36:59.279
<v Speaker 2>are in the same life phase as me, who are

0:36:59.320 --> 0:37:02.160
<v Speaker 2>walking through this with me. So I wish I would

0:37:02.200 --> 0:37:04.440
<v Speaker 2>have been more open because I realize that scenario is

0:37:04.640 --> 0:37:07.600
<v Speaker 2>just very different in what I am expecting from someone.

0:37:07.680 --> 0:37:09.359
<v Speaker 2>If they have never been on television, they have never

0:37:09.440 --> 0:37:12.080
<v Speaker 2>been on radio, they just live a very normal life

0:37:12.200 --> 0:37:14.600
<v Speaker 2>to expect them to come in a scenario like this

0:37:15.040 --> 0:37:17.399
<v Speaker 2>where they are going on a date with a girl

0:37:17.400 --> 0:37:20.560
<v Speaker 2>who has a history on television and a podcast with you, Well,

0:37:20.560 --> 0:37:22.839
<v Speaker 2>we're going to talk about it, Ben, the good the bad.

0:37:22.920 --> 0:37:25.000
<v Speaker 2>Imagine if he had kissed me and I've been like, oh,

0:37:25.040 --> 0:37:27.759
<v Speaker 2>this bread smelled so bad. Ben, Like I'm about to

0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:31.040
<v Speaker 2>put this dude on blast and he's willingly doing it.

0:37:31.440 --> 0:37:34.080
<v Speaker 2>So I want to be more conscious of that on

0:37:34.160 --> 0:37:36.759
<v Speaker 2>the next date or moving forward with whomever it is,

0:37:36.840 --> 0:37:38.560
<v Speaker 2>or if this guy reaches out, you know what I mean.

0:37:38.600 --> 0:37:40.200
<v Speaker 2>I just want to be really conscious of that, the

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:42.480
<v Speaker 2>fact that I am making a choice to put myself

0:37:42.520 --> 0:37:44.880
<v Speaker 2>out there. I am making a choice to do this

0:37:44.960 --> 0:37:47.680
<v Speaker 2>podcast with you. You Ben, It's almost like the social experiment

0:37:47.760 --> 0:37:50.360
<v Speaker 2>you and I are doing, where like I'm the guinea pig,

0:37:51.000 --> 0:37:55.240
<v Speaker 2>but really they're the guinea pig. We're asking these people

0:37:55.239 --> 0:37:58.840
<v Speaker 2>to come date me, like me, get to know me,

0:37:59.400 --> 0:38:01.359
<v Speaker 2>and feel really good about it, and not worry about

0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:02.400
<v Speaker 2>the fact that you and I are going to tell

0:38:02.400 --> 0:38:04.800
<v Speaker 2>all the dirty secrets on air for hundreds of thousands

0:38:04.800 --> 0:38:05.560
<v Speaker 2>of people to listen to.

0:38:06.000 --> 0:38:09.799
<v Speaker 1>Here's a beautiful part. They have the opportunity to come

0:38:09.800 --> 0:38:12.200
<v Speaker 1>on here as well and tell all the dirty secrets

0:38:12.440 --> 0:38:14.680
<v Speaker 1>of you if they want.

0:38:15.040 --> 0:38:16.720
<v Speaker 2>You're supporting my friend, Ben.

0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh, I got your back, and I will continue to

0:38:19.920 --> 0:38:22.480
<v Speaker 1>have your back through this whole experience. That's a great note.

0:38:22.560 --> 0:38:24.440
<v Speaker 1>If you're out there and you're listening, and you have

0:38:24.520 --> 0:38:27.000
<v Speaker 1>somebody that you're like would be perfect for this scenario.

0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:32.000
<v Speaker 1>You can message us a picture, a little profile, send

0:38:32.080 --> 0:38:34.960
<v Speaker 1>us their Instagram profile. We would love to get a

0:38:35.080 --> 0:38:39.200
<v Speaker 1>nice roster here of potential suitors.

0:38:39.920 --> 0:38:42.279
<v Speaker 2>I have gotten a whole lot more dms. I will

0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:44.480
<v Speaker 2>say that Ben, I'm going to go back on the

0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:47.359
<v Speaker 2>resume and be like, oh my gosh, let my friend Ben.

0:38:47.480 --> 0:38:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Though I'm not going to do it, but I have been.

0:38:50.239 --> 0:38:52.759
<v Speaker 2>I have been getting some dms on how beautiful my

0:38:52.800 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 2>feet are, so maybe this is working out well for me.

0:38:55.840 --> 0:38:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well, there's a whole market for that is also

0:38:59.480 --> 0:39:01.640
<v Speaker 1>and I would love for you to take advantage of

0:39:01.640 --> 0:39:05.879
<v Speaker 1>that opportunity. Never seen your feet, but we will add

0:39:05.920 --> 0:39:07.799
<v Speaker 1>it to the list of things we send out to

0:39:07.840 --> 0:39:14.240
<v Speaker 1>somebody before date is she has beautiful, money worthy feet. Okay,

0:39:14.719 --> 0:39:17.799
<v Speaker 1>this has been awesome. Here's my advice for you as

0:39:17.840 --> 0:39:21.680
<v Speaker 1>we move forward. From everything I know from what you

0:39:21.760 --> 0:39:24.880
<v Speaker 1>told me, From everything I know from what Cynthia told me,

0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:29.280
<v Speaker 1>you were great. You were yourself, and ultimately, when we're dating,

0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:33.600
<v Speaker 1>you gotta be yourself and you gotta say the things

0:39:33.760 --> 0:39:37.320
<v Speaker 1>that you really feel and think. Especially, I think as

0:39:37.360 --> 0:39:40.200
<v Speaker 1>we get into this kind of second stage of dating

0:39:40.320 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 1>in life, you know, for anybody that's out there that's divorced,

0:39:43.560 --> 0:39:45.600
<v Speaker 1>or anybody that's out there that's looking for a second

0:39:45.600 --> 0:39:49.479
<v Speaker 1>partner or a third partner, whatever that may be, being

0:39:49.520 --> 0:39:51.799
<v Speaker 1>yourself I think is essential because the truth of the

0:39:51.800 --> 0:39:56.200
<v Speaker 1>matter is, I do think in this stage what I'm experiencing,

0:39:56.520 --> 0:40:00.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm hearing, and what I honestly ought to expect is

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:04.600
<v Speaker 1>there is a different intentionality. This isn't a hey, let's

0:40:04.640 --> 0:40:07.600
<v Speaker 1>just play patty Cake for four days and have a

0:40:07.640 --> 0:40:11.239
<v Speaker 1>lot of fun. If somebody really is there to potentially

0:40:11.719 --> 0:40:13.839
<v Speaker 1>date you or you to date them, there is an

0:40:13.840 --> 0:40:17.160
<v Speaker 1>intentionality that will be brought up. I would just say,

0:40:17.239 --> 0:40:20.359
<v Speaker 1>let's pause that until like date two, Date one, let's

0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:22.600
<v Speaker 1>have a good time, Let's see where this takes us.

0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:25.120
<v Speaker 1>Let's have one drink, go home and text each other

0:40:25.160 --> 0:40:28.359
<v Speaker 1>the next day. Date two picks up steam a little bit.

0:40:28.600 --> 0:40:32.799
<v Speaker 1>Date three four, you know, whatever your timeline, but you

0:40:32.840 --> 0:40:35.960
<v Speaker 1>did it well. I'm thankful that you did it. I'm

0:40:35.960 --> 0:40:38.320
<v Speaker 1>thankful that you went out there. But my final question

0:40:38.440 --> 0:40:41.600
<v Speaker 1>for you is are you thankful you did it? I am?

0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:44.160
<v Speaker 2>I am, I am. I had a really great time.

0:40:44.400 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 2>I had a really great time, and I'm thankful that

0:40:47.080 --> 0:40:48.760
<v Speaker 2>he wasn't a big old fat creeper.

0:40:49.239 --> 0:40:55.160
<v Speaker 1>That's a win because they're out there promise to protect you. Okay,

0:40:55.239 --> 0:40:59.160
<v Speaker 1>we'll keep in touch on the journey. Look forward to

0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:03.680
<v Speaker 1>the suit that get sent our way, the roster of

0:41:04.560 --> 0:41:09.319
<v Speaker 1>just the most handsome, carrying, sweet fun men that we

0:41:09.440 --> 0:41:11.440
<v Speaker 1>can start to set you up with. You're going to

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:14.640
<v Speaker 1>be exhausted by the time this is done. Just exhausted.

0:41:14.960 --> 0:41:17.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm a roster, a roster. I've never had a roster.

0:41:17.520 --> 0:41:19.560
<v Speaker 2>This is so exciting, so fun.

0:41:19.719 --> 0:41:21.319
<v Speaker 1>Until next time, I've been Ben