1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts bring you the Ultimate Summer of Love Tree. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: This is famously available. It's a very exciting day. We're 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 1: gonna have to run down on the date that happened 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: this last weekend at the Jonas Brothers concert. Now, in 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: addition to this episode, please stay tuned because we talked 6 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 1: to Cynthia, who was in the suite at the same 7 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: time and had her own input on body language. How 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: things went. Now, I'm just gonna kick it off. How 9 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 1: did things go? 10 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 2: I have been dying to talk to you. 11 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: I really I texted the group that night. I was 12 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,519 Speaker 1: on the East coast, You're on the West coast, and 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: so I think it like happened way later than when 14 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: I went to bed, so I didn't get any good updates. 15 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 1: I really know nothing other than what Cynthia talk to 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,919 Speaker 1: me about, which was really just like an outside perspective 17 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: of the date. 18 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: Are you going to share her outside perspective? 19 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: I will share bits and pieces you want to you 20 00:00:58,880 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: want to hear a little bit. 21 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:01,959 Speaker 2: I want to hear it at the end. I want 22 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 2: to hear a bit of Yeah. 23 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: I didn't want to like like push you in any direction. 24 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: That episode with Cynthia will be airing about the same 25 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: time this airs, and so make sure you listen to 26 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 1: both to get two different perspectives, one involved in the date, 27 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: the other one watching the date. But let's just kick 28 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: it off. We obviously got the chat right before the 29 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 1: date happened. You had a really good, I think mindset 30 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 1: going into this date. I personally feel like you would 31 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: be a really easy first date because of the mindset 32 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 1: that you shared and just your expectations, kind of the 33 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: the excitement that was before the date. Now the date 34 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: has happened at this point, so please fill us on. 35 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: I'm just going to stop you then, because I don't 36 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 2: think that it's healthy for so much time to go 37 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 2: by before you and I dissect. I think we need 38 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 2: to do this a little bit quicker next time, because 39 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 2: now I've had several days to kind of stew in 40 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 2: my mind. How you second guess things. You think, oh, 41 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 2: it was like this or it ended like that, So 42 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 2: I've had some time to gather my thoughts and think 43 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 2: about it. So there's all right. It's interesting to me 44 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 2: that you said I had a good mindset. I did. 45 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: I did when you and I spoke before the date. 46 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 2: I had a good mindset. I was super excited. I 47 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 2: felt good, I felt cute. I wore my stand up 48 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 2: only jeans. They looked great, but it was funny. As 49 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: the day went on, I had a little bit of 50 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 2: time to get back to my hotel room and get ready, 51 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 2: and I was alone. And sometimes being alone is not 52 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 2: a good space for me to get into. Because I 53 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 2: was shocking as it made sound can get into my 54 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 2: own head. I can start to twist my own thoughts 55 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 2: eight way sideways, good ones, bad ones, crazy ones, it 56 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,639 Speaker 2: doesn't matter. I am the type of person that a 57 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 2: lot of time leads with fear. And I'll tell you 58 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 2: what I did. Ben. After we got done talking, I 59 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 2: started to think in my head, what if he's just 60 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 2: doing it for the podcast. What if he's just doing 61 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 2: someone a solid and he's just showing up just to 62 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 2: like make sure I have a date to talk about 63 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 2: on the podcast, Like he's not really into me, he's 64 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 2: not really in it to date me. And I started 65 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,839 Speaker 2: to take these thoughts, Ben, And I really hope that 66 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 2: for anyone who might be listening, they can let me 67 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,160 Speaker 2: know that I'm not alone here. But I started to 68 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 2: take these thoughts and I got caught up in my 69 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 2: head Ben, So I was really excited. I got ready, 70 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 2: I felt pretty. I got in the van and then 71 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 2: there was a bit of a ride to the concert. 72 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: You know, I tried to chat with the other girls nervously, 73 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: but I couldn't help but think about it, right, like, 74 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 2: what's it going to look like? Is it going to 75 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 2: be attractive? Will there be this like moment where I 76 00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: come out of the car and my hair is blowing 77 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 2: in the wind and he is just falling over by, 78 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 2: you know, love at first sight? Or is he doing 79 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 2: this for a podcast, to be on a podcast to 80 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: say he went out with an old bachelorette for whatever reason, right? 81 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 2: Or is he just doing one of the producers of 82 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 2: solid I got up in my head. Now, from a 83 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,839 Speaker 2: logistics point of view, what I would like to see 84 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 2: us do moving forward is there was a transition of 85 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 2: getting the group of us, because again I told you, 86 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 2: we weren't alone. There were several people there, a few 87 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,479 Speaker 2: other of the girls. Ashley I was there, and Kathy 88 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 2: and Susan and Daisy. You know, it was a bunch 89 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 2: of girls there and God bless them, I love them. 90 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 2: They were all cheering me on. They were a girl. 91 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 2: If you need to be saved wink twice, you know 92 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 2: what I mean. Like everybody was if he's not cute, 93 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,680 Speaker 2: we'll take you to the bathroom. Whatever. Everybody was on 94 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 2: my side, but it wasn't a traditional date where I 95 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 2: was just alone with this man. The other piece is 96 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 2: is I didn't meet him right away. So when the 97 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 2: group all got out, there was a whole lot of 98 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 2: shuffle of getting us into the suite, getting everybody into 99 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 2: the building, and sending ou through security. So I looked 100 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,280 Speaker 2: around and I only saw a couple of the other 101 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 2: guys that were part of our group. And so then 102 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I wonder if it's that one or 103 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 2: what if it's not. What if it's that one. I 104 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 2: don't find him super attractive, but the other one is 105 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 2: super cute. What if it's him? I just got all 106 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 2: twisted up in my head then about everything. 107 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: Let's pause here. Let's pause here. I think the first 108 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: note is very common one. You're not alone. I think 109 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: when it comes to high pressure situations, we create. Humans 110 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: typically create a racket in their own heads, and that 111 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: racket is speaking to an insecurity of vulnerability, a past thought, trauma, 112 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: et cetera. And it becomes heightened when we're kind of 113 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: in this survival mode, like this high anxiety nervous mode, 114 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 1: which even if you weren't nervous, even if you weren't anxious, 115 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: you're you're gonna have that still inside of you because 116 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: it's something different. You're just not used to it. You 117 00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: even done it in a long time. You have a 118 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: you have been out there in a long time. I 119 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: met somebody new, and so you're not alone in that. 120 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: I think for listeners, most people will relate with the 121 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: thoughts of everything spirals out of control right before this 122 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: first date. Everything comes to mind right before this first date. 123 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: It's a racket. It's not true, but that doesn't matter. 124 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: It's still in your head, so it's true at the 125 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: time to you, and there are tools to eliminate those 126 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,720 Speaker 1: thoughts or at least place yourself in a different position. 127 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: One of those for this would have been, Hey, you 128 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: weren't feeling good that day. I think that's a great 129 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 1: excuse and very real excuse for you. You had a migraine 130 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 1: that day that set you back a bit. Also, you 131 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: were going to this huge event. You were a past 132 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 1: bachelorette that day, so of course you're going to think 133 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: about that. Because you're surrounded by bachelor contestants, it was 134 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: just two of you. You're not playing the role of 135 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,839 Speaker 1: the bachelorette. You were just playing the role of you. 136 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: So I just want to be clear, you're not alone. 137 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: Doesn't make you It makes you unique, but you're always unique. 138 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: It doesn't make you different in a bad way. 139 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 2: In my very own special way, Ben, Yes, very own 140 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 2: special way, all right. When I meet him, it was 141 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 2: a simple like, hey, how are you. I give him 142 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 2: a hug. I think him for coming right. I don't 143 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 2: believe the task in hand is easy on his part. 144 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 2: He is stepping into a different world. He's a very 145 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 2: normal man. He works a normal job, stepping into this 146 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 2: world what we have asked him to do to date 147 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 2: me on a podcast where I am now going to 148 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 2: come here and I'm going to talk to you, my friend, Ben. 149 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you all the details. He's going 150 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,240 Speaker 2: to listen or he's not going to listen. I don't 151 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 2: really know. But then he's he's putting himself out there too, right, 152 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 2: it's a big deal. Okay. First impressions, I found him 153 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 2: very attractive. He wasn't as tall as you told me, 154 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 2: But like listen, I had heels on. It's fine. I 155 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 2: found him very attractive. He was a very good looking man. 156 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 2: He had really beautiful blue eyes, and I told you 157 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 2: that eye contact is very important for me. So I 158 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 2: appreciated the way that he engaged with me and talked 159 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: to me. He was attentive in the fact that he 160 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 2: was asking me if he could get me something to drink, 161 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 2: he was asking me if I wanted to sit down. 162 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: And I just appreciate those. I mean, I say, on 163 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 2: the most basic level, the chivalry part of the mill persona. Right. 164 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 2: There was a point when we were talking where he 165 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: said to me, and given the situation, again, I'm stating 166 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,080 Speaker 2: it was not a normal first date. We were not 167 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 2: going out where it was just the two of us. 168 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 2: It wasn't this romantic setting. It wasn't quiet by any means. 169 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 2: We were screaming over the Jonas brothers in between that 170 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 2: I was doing photos and videos and things that I 171 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 2: had committed to and not to me. The rest of 172 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 2: my girlfriends were all there. So given the unique situation, 173 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 2: we're kind of chatting and he leaned over at one 174 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 2: point and he said to me, this isn't exactly what 175 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 2: I thought it was going to be. And I was like, 176 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. What did you expect And he said, well, 177 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 2: I was told I was going to get to know you, 178 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 2: and I said, well, let's get to know each other. 179 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 2: Those are my expectations too, And in that moment, I 180 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 2: found that little glimmer beIN to be honest with him, 181 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 2: and I pride myself on my honesty, and what I 182 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 2: said to him in that moment was I apologize. I 183 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 2: got in my head a little bit because I wasn't 184 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: sure how much of you would be showing up to 185 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 2: meet me, or how much of you was showing up 186 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 2: to just fill the position of this night, and I said, 187 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: I was really looking forward to getting to know you 188 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 2: and seeing where this could go, and I would really 189 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,680 Speaker 2: like that if we could start over. It was great. 190 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:05,880 Speaker 2: We ended up having some really genuine conversations. I got 191 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 2: to know him a bit, I got to know about 192 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 2: his family, I got to hear about his job. Neither 193 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,679 Speaker 2: one of us knew very many Jonas Brothers songs, so 194 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 2: that was a lot of fun too, because every time 195 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 2: we were kind of like, well I don't really know 196 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 2: this one, but I know this one. He There were 197 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 2: a couple of moments because it was so loud, we 198 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 2: had to speak really closely to each other, which which 199 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 2: I found a little enticing, you know. And there were 200 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 2: a couple of moments where he put his hand on 201 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 2: my back, and then I was like, then I turned 202 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: myself crazy again. I was like, oh, he listened to 203 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 2: the podcast. He totally listened to me. Tell Ben that 204 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 2: I might not make out with him, but he can 205 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,320 Speaker 2: put the hand his hand on the small of my 206 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 2: back and a little thirty is good. I'm telling you, Ben, 207 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 2: I'm nuts. I'm nuts. I really enjoyed the conversation with 208 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 2: this man. I found that he had a lot of 209 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 2: qualities that I find attractive in someone that I would 210 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,880 Speaker 2: want to date. It was a very hard scenario to 211 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 2: find it to be datable in that moment. But I 212 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: left that evening thinking I would have explored a second date. Okay, 213 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 2: if he had asked for my phone number at the 214 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 2: end of the night, I would have given it to him. 215 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 2: But he did not. 216 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: Okay. 217 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 2: Now, in his defense, I don't know if I was 218 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 2: hard to read, if the situation was hard to read, 219 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 2: or if he just didn't like me. But I left 220 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 2: the date and talking to him and getting to know him, 221 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 2: and I found him physically attracted and attract him and 222 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 2: his personality attractive. I would have entertained a second date 223 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 2: with just the two of us so that we could 224 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 2: have been alone and talked more and gotten to know 225 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 2: each other more. I would have enjoyed that. But he 226 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 2: did not ask, and I wasn't going to offer it up. 227 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 1: Do you was that a surprise to you or did 228 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: you see that kind of coming? Were you reading into 229 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 1: it as a night continued and saying, yeah, I don't 230 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: know if this is going in a place for him 231 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: where he would want a second date. 232 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 2: I felt like if he was into it, he would 233 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 2: have shot a shot. That's what I felt like. Yeah, 234 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 2: but I cannot put my assumptions. I tend to run 235 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 2: with the fact that like, oh, that's not how I 236 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 2: would have treated someone. That's not what I would have done. 237 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 2: I can't put those assumptions onto other people. I thought 238 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 2: the conversation that we had was really, really great. We 239 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 2: talked about cooking, you know, he enjoys to cook. We 240 00:12:21,559 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 2: talked about his kids, we talked about my kids, we 241 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 2: talked about our pets. I thought the conversation was really easy, 242 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 2: and it flowed very well. I think the scenario that 243 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 2: we were in was not romantic. I thought by the 244 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 2: end he might at least ask to keep in touch. 245 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: So was I shocked, No, because I think given everything 246 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 2: that I've been through, Ben, it takes a lot to 247 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 2: shock me now, you know. But I wasn't shocked. I 248 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 2: would say that I was a little disappointed. I enjoyed 249 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 2: the conversation. I would have liked to have seen if 250 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,840 Speaker 2: it could have gone to a second date, or at 251 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 2: least had a conversation at the very least. I wanted 252 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 2: to text him the next day and say, hey, man, 253 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 2: I realized that wasn't normal, thank you for showing up, 254 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 2: thank you for asking really great questions, thank you for 255 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 2: a genuine conversation. I wouldn't have minded, you know, if 256 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 2: we kept in touch and had a second date. But 257 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 2: he didn't try, and so for me, the actions speak 258 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: louder than the words. If he really wanted to, he 259 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 2: would I kind of hate that saying, but it's also 260 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 2: really true. If he wanted to keep in touch, he 261 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 2: would have shot his shot. He would have said, Hey, 262 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 2: I really enjoyed getting to know you. Do you mind 263 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 2: if we talk more. I would have absolutely said yes. 264 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 1: Now, before the conversation started, or before the date started, 265 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 1: you and I did have a conversation, and you talked 266 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: about how first dates are really great in group settings 267 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 1: because there is very little pressure, and this seemed like 268 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Yes, a concert, we could say 269 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,360 Speaker 1: it's an abnormal first date, but it's also a really 270 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: great place to meet somebody. It is low pressure, there's 271 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: good moments in between, there's a relatability to the songs 272 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: being played. You know, we go on looking back, now, 273 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: do you wish that you were in a different scenario 274 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: for this first date? Do you think that would have 275 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: changed things? 276 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 2: No? I actually really liked it, Ben Okay. I think 277 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 2: what I took responsibility for was that he was disappointed. 278 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: I took responsibility for that. I was not disappointed in 279 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 2: any way. I had a really great time. I loved 280 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,360 Speaker 2: sharing it with the other women in the suite. I 281 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: loved the concert, I loved the Jonas brothers. I loved 282 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,920 Speaker 2: being in that situation and meeting him there because there 283 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 2: was no pressure. There was no pressure to leave there 284 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: with him, like it was like goodbye. I would absolutely 285 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,960 Speaker 2: have done it again. I think where I went wrong. 286 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 2: Is that I took the responsibility that he was disappoint 287 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 2: he expected more out of the date. And again I 288 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 2: don't know what he was told by producers. I don't 289 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 2: know what was sold to him. But I just felt 290 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 2: responsible for his disappointment when he said to me, I 291 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 2: was under the understanding that I was going to get 292 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 2: to know you. I felt bad in that moment because 293 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 2: I was open and willing. I wanted that as well. 294 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 2: I felt bad that he was disappointed that he wasn't 295 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: getting that. 296 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know him. I wasn't there at the date. 297 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: I would my argument to that would be, it sounds 298 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: like you did get to know each other a little bit. 299 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: You just rattled off five different things that you took 300 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: away from his life that you heard and saw and 301 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 1: he told you about. For a first date, five different 302 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:50,520 Speaker 1: facts about somebody is a big accomplishment. You knew about 303 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: his family, his kids, his job. That's a great first date. 304 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: So I guess I am confused from an outside perspective 305 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: of what he didn't get to know about you. Do 306 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: you feel like you held back? Do you feel like 307 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: you showed him interest? 308 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: Like? 309 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: Where was he missing this? 310 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 2: That's what I think it was in I think it 311 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 2: was in the beginning of the night, Ben, because there 312 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,120 Speaker 2: was a slaps when we got there. I wasn't introduced 313 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 2: to him right away, so there was a lapse when 314 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 2: we got there where no one introduced us, you know, 315 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 2: so we weren't able to see each other at first 316 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 2: and talk and then the music was playing, so it 317 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 2: was I think for him it was missed. But I 318 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 2: would say once he shared that with me, I tried 319 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 2: to be very conscious of that, and we were able 320 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 2: to kind of stand back in the suite. We didn't sit, 321 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 2: you know, in the stadium. We stood back in the 322 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 2: in the suite and talked. I felt like the conversation 323 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 2: was good, and once I was really aware of what 324 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 2: he felt, I did. I tried to be really conscious 325 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 2: of that and like, okay, man, let's get to know 326 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 2: each other. Then here I am. This is what I do. 327 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,320 Speaker 2: These are the things. He asked, some really great questions. 328 00:16:55,960 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 2: Some of them I feel like were second or third 329 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,200 Speaker 2: date worthy. They were a little too serious for the 330 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,959 Speaker 2: scenario and and where we were. But maybe he was thinking, well, whatever, Ben, 331 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,719 Speaker 2: I shouldn't assume what he was thinking. But if I 332 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 2: had to look at the scenario. Maybe he was thinking, 333 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 2: this might be the only time I get to talk 334 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 2: to this woman, so I'm just gonna ask everything I 335 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,439 Speaker 2: need to in case I never see her again. But 336 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 2: some of the questions were a little heavy for a 337 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,399 Speaker 2: first date, especially a first date surrounded by other people, 338 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 2: especially a first date at a concert. He asked me 339 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,960 Speaker 2: some in depth questions about my divorce and something as 340 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 2: serious as like, you know, looking back, is there a 341 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 2: place where you look at it if you could do 342 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 2: something differently to change the scenario or the outcome. I 343 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 2: just thought in that moment, I thought, holy man, this 344 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 2: is a little heavy for a first date. Great question, 345 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,399 Speaker 2: and I'm absolutely open to it. But it just wasn't 346 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 2: the time and the place. But again, I don't know 347 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 2: what was going through his head at the time. Did 348 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 2: he listen to the podcast before he came in. Was 349 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 2: he like, Okay, I've got to ask check this off, 350 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,640 Speaker 2: these in depth questions. I've got to put my hand 351 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 2: on her back. I've I've got to be you know, attractive, 352 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,479 Speaker 2: I've gotta i've got to be the man, you know. 353 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: I don't know what was going on in his head, 354 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 2: but some of the questions I felt like were would 355 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 2: have been good for for women knew each other better 356 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 2: and for a moment that we could get in depth 357 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 2: like that. And I think I shared to you too, Ben, 358 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 2: I don't know the dudes and don'ts at first dates. 359 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: But like I don't want to hear about your ex wife, 360 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 2: I don't want to hear about the trauma you cared 361 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 2: from that there is always his truth, her truth, and 362 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 2: the truth. So like you're my friend, you're listening to me, 363 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 2: so you're always gonna feel sorry for me. But I 364 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 2: can tell you I was not perfect in my marriage. 365 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 2: There's a time and a place for that, and I 366 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 2: don't want to do it on a first date. I 367 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 2: just don't. 368 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 1: I get that. I mean, I think that, and I 369 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 1: think that's fair. I think that's a boundary that sometimes 370 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:51,119 Speaker 1: though needs and would be needed to be communicated up front. 371 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: And I and I'm I know you're very capable and 372 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: probably have communicated that. I mean, I like that he 373 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:02,719 Speaker 1: took an interest. He obviously engaged in your life and 374 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: wanted to figure it out. You know, having any type 375 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 1: of conversation in today's world is something unique and special. 376 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 1: I think I go back to my question of something 377 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 1: was something had happened to where his expectations weren't met. 378 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,320 Speaker 1: It sounds like you got back on track. He did 379 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 1: get to know you, and in a lot of ways, 380 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: we could say, ask questions to get to know you 381 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 1: more than probably you were wanting to give up at 382 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 1: this point. 383 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 2: So that for me poses the question why didn't he 384 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 2: ask for my phone number? 385 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: Well, let's get into it. So from an outside perspective, 386 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: and we did get to talk to Cynthia. As I 387 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 1: mentioned before, you know, he didn't ask for your phone number. 388 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:49,080 Speaker 1: Where the other girls because I'm sure they're excited, they're interested, 389 00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: They're also focused on the Jonas Brothers concert and everything 390 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 1: going on there before we get to the end of 391 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: the night. During the night, I'm sure they are whispering 392 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: getting moments with you. Were they reassuring you that this 393 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 1: looked good and felt good From an outside perspective. 394 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 2: I don't know. I felt more so from their perspective 395 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 2: than they were just checking on me. Are you okay? 396 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 2: Do you need rescuing? That's what I felt like, like 397 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 2: the girls were like, do you need rescuing in this moment? 398 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 2: Are you bored out of your mind? Are you okay? 399 00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 2: I was really okay. When the girls would come and 400 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 2: check on me, I would say, no, I'm totally fine. 401 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,439 Speaker 2: I'm totally fine. I was genuinely enjoying the conversation with 402 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 2: this man. I believe from their perspective is they just 403 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 2: wanted to be really good wing women, you know, like 404 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 2: if I need a saving, they were ready to save me. 405 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: They're in the saving mindset. My role tonight is to 406 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: help her if she needs help, not necessarily, which pump 407 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: you up and be like this is awesome, this is great, 408 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,719 Speaker 1: and maybe pump him up wing woman you from his 409 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 1: side to be like she's a catch. 410 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,120 Speaker 2: Well, so okay. So that was also the weird situation 411 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 2: is there were all of these people there who are 412 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 2: my friends. Right, there's you know, people there for the podcast. 413 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 2: There's there's video, there's photos, there's you know, we're doing 414 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 2: all of the things because to an extent, it is 415 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 2: a show that we are producing and putting out for 416 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,920 Speaker 2: our listeners to be able to follow along, Right, this 417 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,720 Speaker 2: has to be like bonkers to him and way outside 418 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:17,439 Speaker 2: he works a normal job. Been like, he works a 419 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 2: normal job. This has to be way outside of his 420 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 2: comfort zone. There is that, but like I think that 421 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 2: I wish other people had introduced themselves to him, because 422 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: no one really did, so he was put in the 423 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,919 Speaker 2: scenario where he doesn't know anyone else. He probably recognized 424 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 2: some of the other faces right from the show, but 425 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 2: he didn't know anyone else. But no one really introduced 426 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 2: There's themselves to him. And I guess I also given 427 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 2: that looking at it right now, in this very moment 428 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 2: talking to you, Ben, I should have been better about that. 429 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:52,760 Speaker 2: I should have introduced him so he didn't feel so excluded. 430 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 2: And I hope that he didn't feel that way, but 431 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,159 Speaker 2: I don't really know that. I guess, looking back, in 432 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 2: a scenario where I felt so incredibly comfort and surrounded 433 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 2: by women diadore, maybe he felt a little excluded. And 434 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,640 Speaker 2: now I'm literally thinking about that in this very moment, Ben, 435 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 2: and I feel really bad about that. 436 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: I mean, hey, these are dates. I mean at the 437 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: basis of all this, and we'll get into kind of 438 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: your future and dating and what you've learned and felt, 439 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 1: but the base of all this, as we've said many 440 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 1: times here, when you're getting into the dating world, no 441 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 1: matter if you're you know, doing it for a second time, 442 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: if you're doing it at the beginning dates are like, 443 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: the only way to find the match is to keep dating, 444 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: is to keep getting out there going good dates, bad dates, 445 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:43,200 Speaker 1: make mistakes, mess up. As long as you don't sit 446 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: here today and it's like, I absolutely crushed that dude. 447 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,159 Speaker 1: I made him feel so small. I destroyed his confidence. 448 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 1: I like absolutely attacked him with my words and my 449 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: like the ways I as long as you're not doing that, 450 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: we're good. Like he's he's sitting there tonight, He's like, 451 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: I'm fine, I went on a date with a beautiful woman. 452 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: Like it didn't work out for whatever reason. He's good 453 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: with that, I'm sure, and he's gonna be okay. 454 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 2: Yp So I hope so you know, I genuinely want 455 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 2: to be a good person, and I hope that he 456 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 2: walked away knowing that he got to know me truly 457 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 2: and authentically, Like that's all that I can do. 458 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,679 Speaker 1: Well, here's what Cynthia shared with us. Cynthia said, the 459 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 1: body language looked awesome. I think if she wasn't married 460 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: and she was into somebody of the same gender, she 461 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,720 Speaker 1: would date you in a second. She had nothing but 462 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,919 Speaker 1: incredible things to say about you. She said, you looked hot, 463 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 1: you had great energy. You did everything right, was her 464 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,960 Speaker 1: exact words. Cynthia was a big fan of you. She 465 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: did get to speak to your date. They had mutual 466 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,760 Speaker 1: friends in common, and she didn't necessarily know why the 467 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: date didn't work out, but she did bring up at 468 00:23:56,640 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: some moment, he did ask you to step out so 469 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: that you could talk more. Was that true? 470 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:05,919 Speaker 2: Yes? 471 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: And then I said no, why? 472 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 2: Okay. So this happened pretty early on when he shared 473 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:19,840 Speaker 2: with me that it was going a little different than 474 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,239 Speaker 2: he anticipated because he was under the understanding that he 475 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,640 Speaker 2: was going to get to know me. So he asked 476 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 2: me if I would step outside now the crazy person 477 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,600 Speaker 2: that I am. I can tell you where my mind went. Okay, 478 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 2: I thought, Hey, I'm not going to go in the 479 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 2: hallway with this person that I just met three seconds 480 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 2: ago and be alone with him. Be no, dude, we're 481 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,399 Speaker 2: at the Jonahs Brother's concert. Like at the Jonahs Brother's concert, 482 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 2: I don't want to go sit out on the hallway 483 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,159 Speaker 2: and talk like. I just don't like, can we just 484 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 2: talk right here? And I guess it just felt uncomfortable. 485 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 2: It wasn't even like we it wasn't even like we 486 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 2: eased into it. It was just like, hey, I was 487 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,159 Speaker 2: expecting something else and that's not what I'm getting. Do 488 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 2: you want to go outside and talk? It wasn't like, 489 00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this conversation is like really awesome. I'd 490 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 2: love to get to know you more. And it's a 491 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 2: little loud and here it can we go outside? It 492 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 2: felt very forced and not natural, and in that moment 493 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 2: I said no, I didn't know him from from the 494 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,359 Speaker 2: next person, and there was the other part of me 495 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 2: it was like no, dude, Like, we're at the Jonas 496 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 2: Brothers concert. Like, we're at a concert. This is what 497 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 2: we said we're gonna do. Let's enjoy the concert. Let's 498 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 2: enjoy the concert. We can have seven other dates where 499 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,919 Speaker 2: we go to dinner and we're alone and just the 500 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,320 Speaker 2: two of us and have in depth conversations, but like 501 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 2: right now, like, let's live our best lives at the 502 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 2: Jonas Brother's concert and being a suite and have a 503 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,119 Speaker 2: good time. 504 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: I mean, you are completely right to be able to 505 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: say no to that, and I get you. The what 506 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: you're saying is, this is a blast of a night. 507 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: This is a lot of fun. We're at the Jonas 508 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: Brothers concert with some incredible people. It sounds like to me. 509 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: And again, I don't know this guy, and I'm only 510 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: getting your perspective. In Cynthia's perspective, it sounds like to me, 511 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 1: he is intentional. I guess there's a way to say this. 512 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 1: He doesn't want the the like the fluff of a date. 513 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 1: And from all that we've spoken about you and I, 514 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: you want the intentionality, You want the depth, you want 515 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,000 Speaker 1: that person to get to know you. But you also, 516 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,199 Speaker 1: at this stage in your life, want the fun, like 517 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: you want a partner to have fun with and not 518 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: to always be serious with. And especially in a first date, 519 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: I think it's one of the easiest things about a 520 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 1: first date is that you can just go and have 521 00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: a good time because there's really no expectation other than 522 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,320 Speaker 1: I've been The least in my world would be do 523 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,239 Speaker 1: I finally find you physically attractive or not? Yes or no? 524 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:50,919 Speaker 1: Is one expectation of a first date. And do we 525 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 1: have enough fun to try to have a second date 526 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:58,200 Speaker 1: that then starts to increase our one on one time. 527 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 1: That's for anybody listening. Don't have huge expectations for a 528 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: first date. First date is do I find you attractive 529 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: enough to want to see you again in my life, 530 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 1: and too, do I like you enough as a human 531 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: to want to see you again in my life. If 532 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: those two things cross the box, I think, hey, go 533 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 1: have a second date. But the first date is like practice. 534 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 2: I think that's how I felt. Then, I think that's 535 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,400 Speaker 2: how I felt, and that's why that's why I went. 536 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:29,560 Speaker 2: He did ask, and I appreciated him asking, and I 537 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 2: can acknowledge that probably wasn't very easy for him in 538 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,199 Speaker 2: that moment to be like, hey, and I'd really just 539 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 2: like to talk to you when I go step outside. 540 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 2: I just didn't. 541 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 1: How did you say no? 542 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:39,240 Speaker 2: I said no? 543 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: Did you explain yourself? 544 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 2: Fucking worst? I literally was like, yeah, no, I want 545 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,239 Speaker 2: to watch the concert. And then within seconds I was like, 546 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 2: hey man, I'm sorry. I don't want to sound like 547 00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 2: a crazy like if you want to go sit outside 548 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 2: and talk, like, let's go sit outside and talk. I 549 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 2: just thought, you know, we're here, we're having a great time. 550 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,760 Speaker 2: It's the Jonas Brothers. Like, let's sing, let's dance, let's 551 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 2: enjoy the concert, I said, and I acknowledge that. To him, 552 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 2: I said, I'm really sorry, like I'd love to talk. 553 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:09,880 Speaker 2: I'd love to get to know you better, I think 554 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 2: just exactly the way you put it. Then I wanted 555 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,720 Speaker 2: to have fun. I wanted to dance a little. I 556 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 2: really like to dance. 557 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 1: At did you guys dance? 558 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 2: He didn't dance. He didn't dance. I tried to wag 559 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 2: a little bit, but then it just felt weird because 560 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,920 Speaker 2: he was just standing there. Yeah that's fair, so yes, 561 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 2: I you know, in that moment, I felt really awful, 562 00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 2: and when it played back in my head within seconds, 563 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,120 Speaker 2: I was like, ah, you sound like such a bitch, 564 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 2: like and I did. I looked at him because I said, 565 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, Like, let's go outside and talk if 566 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 2: you want to talk like that's not I didn't mean 567 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,240 Speaker 2: it that way. I don't want to come off sounding ungrateful. 568 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 2: I really am. But we're also like at the Jonas Brothers, 569 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,240 Speaker 2: like it's great music, Like let's enjoy ourselves, because I 570 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,800 Speaker 2: do believe there is a time and a place for 571 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 2: some of those serious conversations, and I just don't know 572 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 2: that on a first date that was the place. And 573 00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,520 Speaker 2: I wanted it to be just like what you said. 574 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 2: I wanted it to be a lot of fun. I 575 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 2: wanted to walk away and think I had a lot 576 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 2: of fun with that guy, because I like to have fun. 577 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 2: I like to laugh, I like to have a good time. 578 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 2: Personality is so important to me, and I want to 579 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 2: know that I can have a good time with someone. 580 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 2: And I just didn't, Ben, I didn't want to go 581 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 2: sit in the hallway in silence, in the bright lights 582 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: and talk about forever. I just didn't. I just didn't. 583 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 1: Again, I don't think you're wrong for saying no to that. 584 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: It was a question. You have all rights to say 585 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: yes or no. I do think the explanation probably helped 586 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: because if I was dating somebody and I said, can 587 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 1: we go out in the hallway and talk and they 588 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 1: said no, I think I then would start to create 589 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: the racket in my own head and create the narrative 590 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: of she just doesn't want to get to know me. 591 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 2: But let me lay it out for you for a 592 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 2: visual bin. That was said pretty early on. The great 593 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,560 Speaker 2: conversation that we had happened after, So it wasn't like 594 00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 2: I was just like, yeah, no, bro, like I'm here 595 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 2: for Joe. It wasn't like that that happened. I said no, 596 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 2: and then we genuinely had great conversation up until the 597 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 2: very end, and then there was a moment he was like, 598 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,239 Speaker 2: I'm going to run to the restroom. He walked out 599 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 2: with his buddy and when he came back, they were like, yeah, cool, 600 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 2: we're gonna go. This was a lot of fun. We'll 601 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 2: see you. There were hugs, we took photos together. I 602 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 2: have a photo if you would like to see him, 603 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 2: I'll send it to you. And they were just like hugs. 604 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 2: It was so great to meet you. You're wonderful. 605 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 3: Goodbye. 606 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 1: You know my criticism here and I will say it 607 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 1: because I think people listening will be learning from you 608 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 1: as we continue on with this experience, but also relating 609 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 1: with you and hearing things. If somebody's listening, and I'm 610 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: speaking from a place of guilt, I when in my 611 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,560 Speaker 1: single life, was the ultimate ghoster. I would go on 612 00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: first dates and never know how to say, hey, I'm 613 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,479 Speaker 1: not interested again. I never figured that one out. I 614 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,560 Speaker 1: could learn from somebody on how to do that well. 615 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: But I do think there is a moment where we 616 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: as adults date where clarity is not only appreciated, it's 617 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 1: respected and it's necessary. So as he left that in 618 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: that manner, I think the best thing for him to 619 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: do would have been to tell you, hey, this was great. 620 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily see us having a second date. But 621 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: I also think there is a world in which he 622 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 1: was nervous about how you would respond or how this 623 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 1: would respond, and I do think there's an added pressure. 624 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: So we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But 625 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 1: for most situations, again, first dates have very little expectation. 626 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: We should have very little expectation. But I think the 627 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,479 Speaker 1: clarity of do I want to do this again is 628 00:31:55,000 --> 00:32:00,200 Speaker 1: really beneficial to both sides, and you didn't get that. 629 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 1: And so as we kind of close up here the 630 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: data is ending, he goes to the restroom, comes back in, 631 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,080 Speaker 1: says they're gonna go, and that's the end for you. 632 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 1: You're still in a little bit of limbo on how 633 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 1: it ended and what happened. Am I correct? 634 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, he came to the concert with his best friend 635 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 2: and his best friend's wife. She messaged me on Instagram 636 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: like the next day and sent me some photos and 637 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 2: was like, we had the best time ever. It was 638 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 2: so great to meet you. Let's keep in touch if 639 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,400 Speaker 2: you're ever in the area. I ride her back and 640 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 2: I'm like, absolutely, it was a lot of fun to 641 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,280 Speaker 2: meet you and your husband. I hope had a great time. 642 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,160 Speaker 2: I'm a little unsure how that ended, and she just 643 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:41,440 Speaker 2: kind of brushed it off and was like, yeah, it 644 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:46,200 Speaker 2: was fine. So there has been no other conversation whatsoever. 645 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 2: I debated trying to find him just to thank him 646 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,800 Speaker 2: for coming and doing that and coming on a first date. 647 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 2: But I also just didn't feel like it was my 648 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:01,680 Speaker 2: place because I'm not hard to find Ben. He knows 649 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,760 Speaker 2: my name, he know it's the podcast, he knows some 650 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 2: of the producers. If he wanted to get in touch, 651 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,280 Speaker 2: he would, And maybe that's exactly what it is. Maybe 652 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:15,200 Speaker 2: he left with clarity thinking this was a lot of fun, 653 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 2: what a great night out. I'm gonna call it a day. 654 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 2: She's not my vibe. Maybe I wasn't his vibe, and 655 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 2: that's okay, right. I feel pretty good about the date 656 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 2: and the conversation that we had, and all I can 657 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,360 Speaker 2: do was like, I was me. I was me. I 658 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 2: didn't say anything that I would take back. I didn't 659 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:39,120 Speaker 2: say anything too much. I gave what I wanted to 660 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 2: on a first date and allowed him insight on who 661 00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 2: I was and the things that I like. I enjoyed 662 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 2: what he shared the conversation felt very easy. But maybe 663 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 2: from that point on there was nothing else there because ultimately, 664 00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 2: if he would like to see me again, he would, 665 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,800 Speaker 2: and if he doesn't, then let's move on to the next. 666 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,479 Speaker 1: Let's move on to the next. Well, that's where we're 667 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,400 Speaker 1: going from here. You've obviously just had your first date 668 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 1: on famously Available. Not a bad date. I will say 669 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,960 Speaker 1: that this wasn't like a bad date by any means. 670 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: You were, you communicated. If he wanted a second date, 671 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:19,759 Speaker 1: you would have been down to have a second date. 672 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: I think that's a win here. We're not shooting our 673 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: shot in the wrong direction. So you're ready to keep 674 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,480 Speaker 1: getting out there, You're ready to keep dating. Do you 675 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,879 Speaker 1: think this first experience has kind of changed you for 676 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: the next first date? Is it going to be easier, harder? 677 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: Kind of talk about where your mind's at. 678 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 2: I don't think it's changed me. I just thought about 679 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 2: things that I would do differently, you know what I mean. 680 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 2: I just thought about things that I would do differently 681 00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,160 Speaker 2: given the next scenario. If it's another situation like that 682 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,399 Speaker 2: where we go to a concert, or it's you know, 683 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,279 Speaker 2: a sporting event or something like that, I don't want 684 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,360 Speaker 2: so much time to lapse before I'm introduced to someone, 685 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 2: because there was this whole weird lingering where it was 686 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 2: just as there were other women there where they were like, 687 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,200 Speaker 2: which one do you think he is? And please stop looking, 688 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 2: Please stop looking. Everybody's stop weird. That is weird. And 689 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 2: it felt a little awkward because he knew I was there, 690 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,680 Speaker 2: and he probably knew who I was and knew what 691 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 2: I looked like. So there was a moment where he 692 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 2: didn't come up and introduce himself to me. Neither one 693 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 2: of us, I'm guessing, knew what the right thing was. 694 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 2: I didn't know who he was, so we didn't know 695 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,960 Speaker 2: how to do the date. So I think that there's 696 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:31,600 Speaker 2: some tweaking that we need to work on because it 697 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,839 Speaker 2: is not a traditional scenario. You're not calling me up 698 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,719 Speaker 2: Ben and saying, Okay, you're going to meet Peter at 699 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,880 Speaker 2: seven o'clock at the bar down the street. It's not 700 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 2: like that. It is a unique situation that I'm going 701 00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,320 Speaker 2: into to meet someone, so I think we need to 702 00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,640 Speaker 2: tweak it a little bit. So I walked away with 703 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:50,400 Speaker 2: some things that I would do differently. I would like 704 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 2: to meet the person right off the bat, so that 705 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,479 Speaker 2: there is no awkwardness between me or him. I also 706 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 2: just like to get a good look at him and 707 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,680 Speaker 2: see if I find him attractive from the get go. 708 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,840 Speaker 2: And then and I think if there was anything that 709 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 2: I could do differently in that situation when he did 710 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,759 Speaker 2: ask me to step aside, I maybe didn't have to 711 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,840 Speaker 2: leave the very front of the suite. I could have 712 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 2: taken a seat at the back of the suite and 713 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 2: entertained him for fifteen minutes and had really great conversation. 714 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:22,279 Speaker 2: Because the conversation was really good. And you're right, I 715 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 2: don't know what he was told, what he thought, but 716 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,120 Speaker 2: he thought he was going to get to know me, 717 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,799 Speaker 2: and I hate that he felt like he wasn't getting that. 718 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 2: I want to give that because I am doing this 719 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 2: for the right reasons. Ben, I get that question all 720 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 2: the time on social media. I'm so flattered. I met 721 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 2: several women who stopped me after the concert and we're like, 722 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, we're following Famously Available, we're listening to 723 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,280 Speaker 2: the podcast You Go girl, We're all rooting you, rooting 724 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:53,640 Speaker 2: for you. And I'm just so grateful for that that 725 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 2: people even care, but that there are other women who 726 00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:59,279 Speaker 2: are in the same life phase as me, who are 727 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,160 Speaker 2: walking through this with me. So I wish I would 728 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,440 Speaker 2: have been more open because I realize that scenario is 729 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,600 Speaker 2: just very different in what I am expecting from someone. 730 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,359 Speaker 2: If they have never been on television, they have never 731 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 2: been on radio, they just live a very normal life 732 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 2: to expect them to come in a scenario like this 733 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,399 Speaker 2: where they are going on a date with a girl 734 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 2: who has a history on television and a podcast with you, Well, 735 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 2: we're going to talk about it, Ben, the good the bad. 736 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,000 Speaker 2: Imagine if he had kissed me and I've been like, oh, 737 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,759 Speaker 2: this bread smelled so bad. Ben, Like I'm about to 738 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,040 Speaker 2: put this dude on blast and he's willingly doing it. 739 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: So I want to be more conscious of that on 740 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 2: the next date or moving forward with whomever it is, 741 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,560 Speaker 2: or if this guy reaches out, you know what I mean. 742 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 2: I just want to be really conscious of that, the 743 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 2: fact that I am making a choice to put myself 744 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 2: out there. I am making a choice to do this 745 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 2: podcast with you. You Ben, It's almost like the social experiment 746 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 2: you and I are doing, where like I'm the guinea pig, 747 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:55,240 Speaker 2: but really they're the guinea pig. We're asking these people 748 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,840 Speaker 2: to come date me, like me, get to know me, 749 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,359 Speaker 2: and feel really good about it, and not worry about 750 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 2: the fact that you and I are going to tell 751 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,800 Speaker 2: all the dirty secrets on air for hundreds of thousands 752 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 2: of people to listen to. 753 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,799 Speaker 1: Here's a beautiful part. They have the opportunity to come 754 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 1: on here as well and tell all the dirty secrets 755 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 1: of you if they want. 756 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:16,720 Speaker 2: You're supporting my friend, Ben. 757 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,920 Speaker 1: Oh, I got your back, and I will continue to 758 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: have your back through this whole experience. That's a great note. 759 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: If you're out there and you're listening, and you have 760 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,000 Speaker 1: somebody that you're like would be perfect for this scenario. 761 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 1: You can message us a picture, a little profile, send 762 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,960 Speaker 1: us their Instagram profile. We would love to get a 763 00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 1: nice roster here of potential suitors. 764 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,279 Speaker 2: I have gotten a whole lot more dms. I will 765 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 2: say that Ben, I'm going to go back on the 766 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,359 Speaker 2: resume and be like, oh my gosh, let my friend Ben. 767 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 2: Though I'm not going to do it, but I have been. 768 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,759 Speaker 2: I have been getting some dms on how beautiful my 769 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 2: feet are, so maybe this is working out well for me. 770 00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, there's a whole market for that is also 771 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,640 Speaker 1: and I would love for you to take advantage of 772 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:05,879 Speaker 1: that opportunity. Never seen your feet, but we will add 773 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,799 Speaker 1: it to the list of things we send out to 774 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:14,240 Speaker 1: somebody before date is she has beautiful, money worthy feet. Okay, 775 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,799 Speaker 1: this has been awesome. Here's my advice for you as 776 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,680 Speaker 1: we move forward. From everything I know from what you 777 00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,880 Speaker 1: told me, From everything I know from what Cynthia told me, 778 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,280 Speaker 1: you were great. You were yourself, and ultimately, when we're dating, 779 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: you gotta be yourself and you gotta say the things 780 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,320 Speaker 1: that you really feel and think. Especially, I think as 781 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 1: we get into this kind of second stage of dating 782 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:43,440 Speaker 1: in life, you know, for anybody that's out there that's divorced, 783 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,600 Speaker 1: or anybody that's out there that's looking for a second 784 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,479 Speaker 1: partner or a third partner, whatever that may be, being 785 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,799 Speaker 1: yourself I think is essential because the truth of the 786 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 1: matter is, I do think in this stage what I'm experiencing, 787 00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: I'm hearing, and what I honestly ought to expect is 788 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 1: there is a different intentionality. This isn't a hey, let's 789 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 1: just play patty Cake for four days and have a 790 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,239 Speaker 1: lot of fun. If somebody really is there to potentially 791 00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 1: date you or you to date them, there is an 792 00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,160 Speaker 1: intentionality that will be brought up. I would just say, 793 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,359 Speaker 1: let's pause that until like date two, Date one, let's 794 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 1: have a good time, Let's see where this takes us. 795 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: Let's have one drink, go home and text each other 796 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,359 Speaker 1: the next day. Date two picks up steam a little bit. 797 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 1: Date three four, you know, whatever your timeline, but you 798 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: did it well. I'm thankful that you did it. I'm 799 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,320 Speaker 1: thankful that you went out there. But my final question 800 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: for you is are you thankful you did it? I am? 801 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 2: I am, I am. I had a really great time. 802 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 2: I had a really great time, and I'm thankful that 803 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:48,760 Speaker 2: he wasn't a big old fat creeper. 804 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 1: That's a win because they're out there promise to protect you. Okay, 805 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 1: we'll keep in touch on the journey. Look forward to 806 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: the suit that get sent our way, the roster of 807 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:09,319 Speaker 1: just the most handsome, carrying, sweet fun men that we 808 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,440 Speaker 1: can start to set you up with. You're going to 809 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 1: be exhausted by the time this is done. Just exhausted. 810 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,440 Speaker 2: I'm a roster, a roster. I've never had a roster. 811 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 2: This is so exciting, so fun. 812 00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:21,319 Speaker 1: Until next time, I've been Ben