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Speaker 1: Gampsy Media charge leash, Hello and welcome to a very

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Speaker 1: special bonus edition of Crimeless a mini episode, if you will.

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Speaker 1: We had so much fun with the rampaging monkeys that

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Speaker 1: I got curious and made a little list of the

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Speaker 1: world's most dangerous monkeys that we ultimately didn't have time

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Speaker 1: for in the show, but it made us laugh and

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Speaker 1: seem too fun not to share, so I present it

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Speaker 1: to you Crimeless Nation as special bonus content, our first

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Speaker 1: ever special bonus content. So here drum roll please, is

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Speaker 1: an utterly subjective list of the world's eleven most dangerous

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Speaker 1: types of monkeys. You have been warned. Head on a swivel.

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Speaker 1: They frosty out there people. We'll see you next week.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, hold that drum roll for a second. If

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Speaker 1: you find yourself feeling left out when we are giggling

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Speaker 1: about monkey butts or other obviously visual things that you

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Speaker 1: can't see because this is a podcast, I'm here to

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Speaker 1: help the monkeys mentioned here in our special bonus content.

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Speaker 1: We'll all be posted on our Instagram, So rush on

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Speaker 1: over to Crimeless Pod on Insta and see those monkey

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Speaker 1: butts for yourself. You have a list of the top

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Speaker 1: eleven monkeys most dangerous monkeys.

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Speaker 2: Okay, because I was like, you can't have some obscure list.

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Speaker 1: I am a top eleven. Josh, you don't decide. I'll

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Speaker 1: ask you to rank the monkeys. Rory put them in order.

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Speaker 1: You have three minutes to prepare your answers. I could

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Speaker 1: ask you to name eleven types of monkey. It's see

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Speaker 1: if you can get there.

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Speaker 2: There's no world where I could name eleven types of monkeys.

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Speaker 1: All right, So this week's top ten list is top eleven.

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Speaker 1: It's a completely subjective list of the worst kinds of monkeys.

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Speaker 1: I clicked on a site called outdoor Guide, which seems

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Speaker 1: to be a site for enjoying the outdoors, which I

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Speaker 1: guess this is helpful content for people who recreate in

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Speaker 1: monkey ridden areas. Which is eleven types of monkeys, ranked

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Speaker 1: by danger level. Okay, by a writer named Brian Cashman.

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Speaker 1: All right, we're going in reverse order. We're going to

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Speaker 1: start immediately with one that you definitely have not heard of.

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Speaker 1: Great the bald yuakari. It's a vulnerable species native to

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Speaker 1: the Amazon jungles of Peru and western Brazil. It's not

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Speaker 1: what you think of when you think of a monkey.

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Speaker 1: This is what the writer Ryan, what does that mean?

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Speaker 1: So this thing is really ugly and I quote with

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Speaker 1: the bright red, hairless face, the sight of one of

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Speaker 1: these monkeys can easily shock those who are not prepared

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Speaker 1: for it. It's this surprise factor that can make the

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Speaker 1: bald yukari seem more dangerous than it actually is. Oh

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's scary. It's superpowers being ugly. Should we

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Speaker 1: always probably show them to Rory as we go? Right

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Speaker 1: here you go? All right, says cry my god. Guys,

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Speaker 1: you can't just do that wow wow with human eyes

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Speaker 1: and it seems like a victim. That's just good lord,

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Speaker 1: all right, Well that's just number eleven. Stay tuned. But

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Speaker 1: for the record, it's actually a very shy and docile monkey.

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Speaker 1: It's just terrifying. So that's the that's what makes it

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Speaker 1: dangerous is so ugly.

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Speaker 2: It's just ugly, And that's so it's ugly, therefore it's dangerous.

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Speaker 2: I think we can all agree.

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Speaker 1: Number ten is a cousin of a monkey. You'll recognize

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Speaker 1: the Japanese macaque. It's aka the Japanese snow monkey, known

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Speaker 1: for enjoying hot springs. I bet you've seen those pictures

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Speaker 1: of the monkeys chillin found on almost every island in Japan.

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Speaker 1: It's one of the more sizable populations on this list.

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Speaker 1: Lives in troops, not gangs, of up to one hundred

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Speaker 1: and forty members, which feels extremely specific to me. How

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Speaker 1: they landed at Why one hundred and forty Like, wow,

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Speaker 1: it was a natural selection? Was too many? And one

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Speaker 1: thirty not enough? Yeah? They used to be pretty harmless. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this will sound familiar to you. Then humans encroached on

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Speaker 1: their land, and then we have the cautionary tale of

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Speaker 1: the city of Yamaguchi, where, according to the UK's Independent,

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Speaker 1: the city was beset by a large troop not gang,

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Speaker 1: of incredibly violent snow monkeys for three weeks in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty two. Fifty eight people reported being attacked. There were

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Speaker 1: stories of monkeys biting and punching people, breaking into homes,

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Speaker 1: attacking school children, even attempting to steal babies.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, look that you you encroached on their land.

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Speaker 1: This is warfare, right, Look at they just want to

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Speaker 1: live in the hot springs. Leave them alone.

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Speaker 2: Their life is an eternal spa, all right.

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Speaker 1: Number nine Capuchin monkeys adorable little guys. Remember Ross had

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Speaker 1: Marcel on friends, what is that? That would be Marcel?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to say?

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Speaker 1: Hut? No? No? Oh yeah yeah. Known for their cunning strategy,

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Speaker 1: especially when it comes to handling those who are aggravating them. Biting, scratching,

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Speaker 1: and attempted maiming is not uncommon. Ryan QUOTESBC News saying

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Speaker 1: that despite their miniature stature, pet capuchin monkeys have a

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Speaker 1: tendency to turn on their owners when they reach sexual

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Speaker 1: maturity at around five, they could become extremely destructive and

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Speaker 1: dangerous to those trying to domesticate them.

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Speaker 2: Yep, that's no different than any teenage boy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean fair enough, right. They're like, I'm ready

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Speaker 1: to meet some lady monkeys are boy monkeys, and they're like, no, sorry,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be my pet and live in this cage.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think we all become teenagers and turn on

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Speaker 2: our owners. That's just a natural That's the most natural

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Speaker 2: thing I've ever heard.

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Speaker 1: Oh, here's an important thing. I forgot to read it

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Speaker 1: to you. While a capuchin is not strong.

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Speaker 2: Enough carry knives, oh okay, yeah, maybe you conclude that.

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Speaker 1: Not strong enough to tear the skin away from your face.

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Speaker 1: Its teeth and bite are sharp and powerful enough to

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Speaker 1: take off a finger. I wait, you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm willing to lose a finger if I get to

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Speaker 2: keep all of my epidermis.

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Speaker 1: Hey, spider monkeys named for those really long, dangly arms.

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Speaker 1: They're actually pretty adorable and they're generally not at all mean,

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Speaker 1: but when you try and domesticate them. There's a theme

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Speaker 1: developing here. I feel like, not mean at all in

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Speaker 1: the wild, and then you try and domesticate them. Spider

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Speaker 1: monkeys that have been kept in isolation and as pets,

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Speaker 1: even in zoos, display extremely violent behavior toward their human keepers.

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Speaker 1: Isolated spider monkeys will frequently attempt to bite and choke

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Speaker 1: whoever comes near them.

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Speaker 2: I agree, one hundred percent. I agree that's I think

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Speaker 2: that's just correct.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if did your kid ever have one

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Speaker 1: of those stuffed animals with the velcrow on the legs? Yes,

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Speaker 1: even those can become violent. Okay. Another relative that reesis

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Speaker 1: macaque is number seven. Yep oh, this is our friends

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Speaker 1: from Thiland, right, which is now also an invasive species

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Speaker 1: in Florida. When a Reese's macac is cornered, they will

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Speaker 1: lash out, biting, tearing, and scratching their pursuit We know

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Speaker 1: all about that, right of course, from Thailand. But here's

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Speaker 1: the twist in Florida, which will make a lot of

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Speaker 1: sense when you hear tho. Okay, Florida's reesis macaque population

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Speaker 1: are known harbingers of a fatal strain of herpes. Checks out. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all right, consider yourself warned, Rory.

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Speaker 2: All right, you know I had the information. It's my

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Speaker 2: own fault.

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Speaker 1: Six Howler monkeys. Those are the really loud ones from

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Speaker 1: Central America for anyone who's been there. Not super aggressive,

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Speaker 1: but they're filthy and they spread a lot of disease.

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Speaker 1: According to The Guardian, researchers in South America, like three

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Speaker 1: separate outbreaks to zoonotic malaria. Those who came down with

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Speaker 1: the disease were this is quoted from the Guardian, by

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Speaker 1: the way, Yeah, those who came down with the disease

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Speaker 1: were mostly middle aged men who enjoyed spending time wandering

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Speaker 1: in the forest. Yeah, yeah, that's right. What the hell?

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Speaker 1: Yeah you're Emerson's your Emerson's. I feel like probably most

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Speaker 1: diseases that came from the wild were initially spread by

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Speaker 1: some middle aged white man who wandered into the forest, right, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's like, I wonder what's in this forest? Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: unibomber who knows what monkeys did? Damn Five gelata very

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Speaker 1: cool looking monkey. It looks like a cgi bad guy

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Speaker 1: monkey from a movie laying he pulling up Natives of

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Speaker 1: the Ethiopian Highlands. Their teeth do not seem food to

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Speaker 1: their diet. Look at these canines. They're called a gelata gelata.

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Speaker 1: What a great game. They look kind of chesty. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're they're they're ripped.

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Speaker 2: These are beautiful. This is great, cool as hell, right,

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Speaker 2: I love it. But yeah, the teeth are terrifying, of course.

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Speaker 1: But fortunate for humans. They prefer to eat grass and

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Speaker 1: vegeta vegetation. Would never have guessed that, No, I know,

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Speaker 1: you would think, why do they have those teeth? Then

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Oh, these these are for the grass that the grass

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Speaker 2: that doesn't want to play ball, all right.

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Speaker 1: Four crab eating macaques small monkeys with a penchant for theft.

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Speaker 1: The crab eating macaque will often steal people's possessions. Then

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Speaker 1: you said possessions as collateral all forgetting food. These actions

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Speaker 1: may seem mildly amusing, but if the monkeys don't get

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Speaker 1: what they want, things can turn violet quickly. He sounds familiar, right,

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Speaker 1: These are relatives of our friends in Thailand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, although with a very specific diet, so much so

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Speaker 2: it influenced their name.

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Speaker 1: By the way. They also carry herpes in are invading Florida.

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Speaker 2: Also should be noted that macac does not appreciate a

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Speaker 2: seafood medley.

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Speaker 1: It specifically wants crab. Do you think it's just coincidence

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Speaker 1: that the two species that are invasive to Florida have herpies?

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Speaker 1: Not even slightly. There's some guy in Key West, He's like,

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Speaker 1: what in me? It was like, said it was you

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Speaker 1: that you guys. I'm just getting out in front of it.

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Speaker 1: Three baboons, several different types. All of them have the

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Speaker 1: potential to kill humans. Note this word potential. As of yet,

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Speaker 1: there are no recorded instances of baboons human beings. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so they're mostly known freeding crops. But Ryan did and

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Speaker 1: almost end with this terrifying tidbit. They're also known to

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Speaker 1: kill on each sheep on a casion.

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Speaker 2: You know, hey, we've all got you've all got sheep

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Speaker 2: skeletons in the closet.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not coming Judge number two mandrels do you

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Speaker 1: pull those up? Those are also that's a good looking monkey.

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Speaker 1: They can weigh one hundred and twenty pounds of mostly muscle.

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Speaker 1: That's what's scary. The largest monkey on earth.

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Speaker 2: I think this is raffiki from Lion King.

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Speaker 1: It means you're a baboon and I'm not. Here's what

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Speaker 1: Ryan writes, and I really enjoying in all seriousness, Ryan's pros.

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Speaker 1: I really enjoyed this story. Bearing this in mind, a

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Speaker 1: mandrel is certainly capable of taking on a fully grown

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Speaker 1: human and tearing them to shreds if the occasion calls

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Speaker 1: for it. They will defend their territory against other animals

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Speaker 1: with a ferocity that is unmatched by any other monkey. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Top Top Hit is a two hundred and fifty four

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Speaker 1: dollars Home Depot statue of a manor I did not see.

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Speaker 2: I did not see statue, and I was like, wait,

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Speaker 2: we could just buy these things for two ordred and

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Speaker 2: fifty four four and depot by the deal, Home Depot

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Speaker 2: is just starting beautiful. These obviously were the monkeys where

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Speaker 2: they were trying out the makeup.

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Speaker 1: A new release from Alpha Genesis twenty twenty four collection.

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Speaker 2: What do you think about a sky blue blush.

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Speaker 1: So the largest and most powerful monkey also lives in groups,

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Speaker 1: not gangs, that can number up to one thousand. So

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Speaker 1: that's one thousand, one hundred and twenty pounds ripped monkeys.

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Speaker 1: And finally number one slow Loris' is the only venomous primate.

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Speaker 1: That's a thing. That's it.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, I want to finding out about flying spiders venomous.

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Speaker 1: As Ryan writes, most would want nothing more than to

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Speaker 1: cuddle these little guys for hours. That would be a mistake.

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Speaker 2: That's a poisonous that's a venomous monkey.

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Speaker 1: It is a Bite's not fair. According to the Smithsonian,

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Speaker 1: the bite from a slowlors is powerful enough to rot

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Speaker 1: and melt flesh away. Can also lead to anaphylactic shock

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Speaker 1: if not treated immediately. The bite god is strong enough

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Speaker 1: to pierce through bone. Is going to kill you and gruesomely.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's crazy. It looks like a magua

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Speaker 2: from Grimlins. What is it? They're so tiny? They got

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Speaker 2: those eyes that's how they do it?

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Speaker 1: What what an incredible like nature made them so cute?

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Speaker 1: And so yeah, why is it called the slow Loris?

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Speaker 1: They actually I have seen them move to zoo they're

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Speaker 1: very slow. Oh well that's good to know. Well, you

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Speaker 1: know what, maybe they should be venomous. Then that's on

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Speaker 1: that's on us.

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Speaker 2: They gotta have something, you know, also appreciates a hot spring.

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Speaker 2: That's the one thing that they don't say about all

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Speaker 2: the monkeys also, all of them love hot springs.

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Speaker 1: Can we see what they're going for at home depot? Now?

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Speaker 2: These are if you want to get on a payment.

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Speaker 1: Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media, Campside Media and

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Speaker 1: Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. It's hosted

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Speaker 1: by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our senior producer

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Speaker 1: is Lane Rose. Emma Stimenov is our associate producer. We're

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Speaker 1: sound designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support from

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Speaker 1: executive producers at camp Side Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis, Matt

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Speaker 1: Cher and me Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart

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Speaker 1: or confession for the Crimeless team, Email us at Crimeless

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Speaker 1: to yourself. We'll see you next week. Crime List Nations