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Speaker 1: Today, I effed up by accidentally watching some sweet Schlongs

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Speaker 1: during a flight.

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Speaker 2: But it's not what you think.

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Speaker 1: What just watching some sweet schloans? You know some eight

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Speaker 1: is a mile high? You would think it is, but

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Speaker 1: it's nuts, all right, let's hear. Yesterday, I, twenty two male,

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Speaker 1: was on a plane, a two hour flight scheduled to

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Speaker 1: land at eight PM. I had the window seat and

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Speaker 1: there were two other passengers sitting next to me who

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Speaker 1: were a young couple. The woman was sitting in the middle,

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Speaker 1: and she was squeezing her boyfriend's hand the entire time,

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Speaker 1: most likely anxiety. Now, the weather was pretty bad and

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Speaker 1: I could relate to how the woman was feeling. But

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Speaker 1: instead of cutting off the blood circulation in another person's hand,

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Speaker 1: I tried to distract myself with a movie on my laptop.

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Speaker 3: What kind of movie?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: The movie I chose to watch was called Violation. Oh God,

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Speaker 1: So this was a movie my roommate had recommended to me.

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Speaker 1: It was almost as long as my flight was going

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Speaker 1: to be, so I thought, why not, let's do it. Well,

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Speaker 1: the thing is, I fell asleep while watching Violation. It's

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Speaker 1: a super fed up revenge movie. You'll love it. My

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Speaker 1: roommate said to me, I was salts. But the thing is,

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Speaker 1: my roommate did not mention that it was also super boring.

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Speaker 2: Today.

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Speaker 1: The movie did one thing right, though. It managed to

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Speaker 1: put me right to sleep during a turbulent flight.

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Speaker 3: Amazing.

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Speaker 1: But then I woke up to someone tapping me on

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Speaker 1: the shoulder. It was a passenger next to me, and

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Speaker 1: at that moment, I also noticed that one of the

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Speaker 1: flight attendants was staring me down. I removed my headphones, thinking, oh,

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Speaker 1: we were about to land or something like that. The

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Speaker 1: flight attendant wanted to inform me that some of the

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Speaker 1: passengers were uncomfortable with what I was watching on my laptop,

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Speaker 1: People like.

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Speaker 3: Why are you watching this flight?

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Speaker 1: I looked at my laptop and noticed a naked man

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Speaker 1: sitting in a chair with a blindfold and a fully

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Speaker 1: exposed eric.

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Speaker 3: What is this movie?

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Speaker 1: This dude's meat was literally flexing the details to do

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Speaker 1: my I had no context of what was happening in

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Speaker 1: this scene, but I instantly closed my laptop and apologized.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, this is just what I This is what

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Speaker 3: calms me right.

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Speaker 2: It's my special resent man.

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Speaker 3: You should try it sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, As a flight attendant walked away. I heard a

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Speaker 1: female passenger behind me thank the flight attend Thank you.

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Speaker 3: It was so disturbing. What there's like children on the flight?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, actually, like it could be children, grand you know,

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Speaker 1: elder people. When I looked at the couple next to me,

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Speaker 1: I realized the boyfriend was now sitting next to me

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Speaker 1: and not his girlfriend for real. I obviously made the

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Speaker 1: girlfriend uncomfortable as well, hence the swap. The two of

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Speaker 1: them avoided eye contact with me at all costs, even

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Speaker 1: when we landed. When it was time for my section

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Speaker 1: to get up and grab our luggage, the female passenger

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Speaker 1: behind me said I should be ashamed for playing dirty

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Speaker 1: movies on a plane.

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Speaker 2: Where there's children around.

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Speaker 1: Fair. I locked eyes with her little small boy, Oh no, dude,

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Speaker 1: and she's.

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Speaker 2: Like, mommy, what was he watching?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so sad. And he made

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Speaker 1: it clear to me that he could spell SpongeBob, this

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Speaker 1: porn kid.

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Speaker 2: He's like, I can spell SpongeBob. Also, you have heart.

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Speaker 1: I apologize to the mom and awkwardly looked away. I

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Speaker 1: could feel people staring at me. Fuck that movie, yo.

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Speaker 4: We had a touch on this roommate though, Like, why

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Speaker 4: is this roommate suggesting this kind of movie. And two

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Speaker 4: when I actually I had an experience like this on

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Speaker 4: a flight. Well, oh really, I wasn't the guy watching

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Speaker 4: you know, dirty movies, but there was this guy on

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Speaker 4: an airplane that was literally watching porn on full blast,

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Speaker 4: like on his phone, just like no shame about him

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Speaker 4: just watching porn and people made a comment like oh

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Speaker 4: nice broke, like subtly shaming for it, but he gave

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Speaker 4: zero fox wa wait how long he was watching it

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Speaker 4: the entire flight and then people saw it more when

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Speaker 4: he was walking fast because he still had the porn

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Speaker 4: on as he was walking down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: He was literally watching it as he was walking down

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Speaker 1: the aisle. Yeah, a flight attendant didn't go up to him,

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Speaker 1: and oh no.

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Speaker 4: Why the man must be very addicted to porn if

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Speaker 4: he has to watch it going down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: I'm just in shock, utter shocked in the flight, like

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Speaker 1: the flight attendance must have seen it.

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Speaker 4: I don't know I have maybe I'm not sure they

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Speaker 4: stay didn't say anything.

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Speaker 1: Well, more of the day. You can watch porn on

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Speaker 1: a plane, yeah you can, children.

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Speaker 4: But if you have your own spooky, smutty stories to share,

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Speaker 4: go to our such okop show and submit them to us.

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Speaker 3: Yes, do it today?

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Speaker 4: I fed up by making my dad punch a dancer

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Speaker 4: of the poll in GTA and then having him ask

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Speaker 4: for forgiveness from God in front.

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Speaker 1: Of the entire family. Wait, wow, in front of the

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Speaker 1: entire family.

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Speaker 3: Like the entire family.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, let's see where this goes.

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Speaker 3: Let me try that one more time.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I was encouraged to post this here from a

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Speaker 4: comment I made elsewhere, even though it didn't happen today

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Speaker 4: or even this decade, So mods please remove it if

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Speaker 4: it goes against the rules.

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Speaker 3: It's a funny story though.

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Speaker 4: When I was young, my brothers and I snuck a

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Speaker 4: copy of Sand and Dre into the house class we

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Speaker 4: spent Yeah, dude, that.

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Speaker 3: Game was so good, so good.

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Speaker 4: I would always play, said Andreas at my friend's house

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Speaker 4: because my parents didn't have me play video games.

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Speaker 1: Same well uh bad rated video game? Yeah, I did

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Speaker 1: play video rated yeah or m or m see.

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Speaker 2: We don't even know bad.

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Speaker 4: We are playing video games. We spent days holding our

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Speaker 4: basement taking turns playing and down there. My parents didn't

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Speaker 4: bother us too much in order to get tons of

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Speaker 4: money for guns we had yet to figure out My

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Speaker 4: parents dial up passwords, so cheats weren't the thing for

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Speaker 4: us yet. What we would do is we go to

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Speaker 4: the strip club and stand on stage absorbing the money

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Speaker 4: dudes throughout women and just let the games sit for

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Speaker 4: ten or twenty minutes.

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Speaker 3: That's a great hat.

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Speaker 1: I love that, and I also love like just if

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Speaker 1: someone doesn't know GTA just sounds so crazy, like in

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Speaker 1: order to get money for guns, we had to stand

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Speaker 1: in front of the.

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Speaker 4: Poll DA sitting out in the one Honest Days and

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Speaker 4: Honest Days living.

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Speaker 3: I'm moving boxes on.

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Speaker 2: Script from Money Ma.

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Speaker 4: We have to be care careful though, because sometimes the

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Speaker 4: dancers of the pole would move and bump into CJ

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Speaker 4: and the balancers, but the place up hikes. One day,

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Speaker 4: while I was playing, my mom yelled down to the

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Speaker 4: basement us to get ready.

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Speaker 3: We're going to pizza Hut.

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Speaker 4: Look a great time and a stroke of genius, I

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Speaker 4: drove to the GTA dancing of the Pole Club, got

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Speaker 4: on stage, and then turned the TV off and we left.

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Speaker 4: It was the best heist of the century. My dad, however,

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Speaker 4: was and as the beast highest because he's getting all

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Speaker 4: that free money. We would go to the dancing of

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Speaker 4: the pole club and stand on the stage absorbing money.

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Speaker 4: Dudes threw at the woman and just let the game

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Speaker 4: sit for ten or twenty minutes.

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Speaker 3: Genius.

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Speaker 4: My dad, however, was at church at this time, practicing

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Speaker 4: for a gospel concert he was singing in. He always

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Speaker 4: filmed the practices so he could take notes at home

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Speaker 4: upon playblack. Oh god, so he could take notes at

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Speaker 4: home upon playback, and this time was no different.

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Speaker 3: So this guy's like, this guy's super religious.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Wait wait is he recording it in the basement

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Speaker 2: or at the church?

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Speaker 4: They record the church service and then he reviews the

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Speaker 4: tapes in the basement.

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Speaker 2: Ah, right, right, I know you're.

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Speaker 4: Religious when you're reviewing papes. No big game enough today. Well,

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Speaker 4: my mom and brothers and I were still at the hut.

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Speaker 4: He arrived at home and plugged his camcorder into the VCR.

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Speaker 4: We had just one VCR and it was connected to

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Speaker 4: the basement TV. Back at the hut, my mom gets

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Speaker 4: a phone call. She says, She puts her napkin down

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Speaker 4: and slowly looks at the table and says okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: okay A few times in the phone in this really cap.

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Speaker 2: Sam, are you hungry?

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Speaker 3: Literally? John, I am always starving. I get like swallowed

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Speaker 3: twenty cucumbers right now.

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Speaker 1: Well, Sam, I know you love gobbling down them cucumbers.

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Speaker 1: But look, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to be sloppy, Samuel.

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Speaker 3: He's so easy.

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Speaker 4: We should can't all grocery stores and move them to

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Speaker 2: But Sam, that ain't.

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Speaker 4: that she always did when she knew us kids were

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Speaker 4: in trouble before we did.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that that mom sixth sense that you you

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Speaker 1: you know when it's coming.

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Speaker 2: You'll feel it in your in your soul.

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Speaker 4: The wrath of a mom is worse than our wrath

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Speaker 4: against Adam Levine, our arch nemesis, who we will pass

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Speaker 4: and followers very soon. So make sure it does abort

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Speaker 4: us so we could dominate Adam Levine.

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Speaker 1: Smash the follow so we can show him how talentless

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Speaker 1: he is.

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Speaker 3: Fricking Adam Levine, We're coming for you.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was gonna say earlier, like we said

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Speaker 1: something about Jesus. I was like, you know, who probably

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Speaker 1: hates Jesus, Adam Levine.

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Speaker 3: Naturally, it was at this point that we kids.

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Speaker 4: Knew we were in trouble, just like Adam Levine knows

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Speaker 4: he's in trouble when he sees our stuff. That's right

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Speaker 4: for what though we didn't know. After a very quiet

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Speaker 4: minivan ride, we get home and my mom says, boys,

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Speaker 4: why don't we go down to the basement. Your dad

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Speaker 4: wants to show you his gospel practice downstairs. No, it

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Speaker 4: was then at this point we knew why we were

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Speaker 4: in trouble.

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Speaker 3: So we drag our feet down the stairs and lo

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Speaker 3: and be old.

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Speaker 4: My dad is sitting on the couch TV on and

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Speaker 4: a dancer of the polls polygodal milkers juicy milkers swung

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Speaker 4: stiffly back and forth on screen to en vogues my love,

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Speaker 4: and with CJS standing mere inches away collecting money. Oh no,

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Speaker 4: my dad starts in boys, I don't even know where

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Speaker 4: to begin. This PlayStation was a blessing to you for Christmas,

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Speaker 4: and this is how you repay us by breaking our trusts,

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Speaker 4: just like Adam Levine broke our trust.

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Speaker 2: By having no talent.

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Speaker 3: No talent, Adam Levine.

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Speaker 4: He's holding the controller up now, gesticulating with it. Here

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Speaker 4: I am practicing to bring glory to God. And but

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Speaker 4: he was cut off as he inadvertently squeezed the controller,

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Speaker 4: causing CIJ to punch the dancer of the pole. My

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Speaker 4: entire family stands in silence, watching together as the bouncers

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Speaker 4: in the club top the place for what seems like

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Speaker 4: an internity. The retatying stops and CJ appears in front

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Speaker 4: of the hospital. I look back and see my mom

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Speaker 4: silently weeping into her hand.

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Speaker 3: I look at my dad as.

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Speaker 4: A single tear rolls down his cheek and prays under

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Speaker 4: his breath. After another eternity of silence without a word.

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Speaker 4: My dad bends down, disconnects the PlayStation, walks back to

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Speaker 4: the family computer, disconnects it, goes to his car and

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Speaker 4: drives away.

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Speaker 3: For the next four.

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Speaker 4: Months, he kept the PS two and PC locked in

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Speaker 4: his office at work.

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Speaker 3: Gildr.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't allowed to play GTA growing up, of course,

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Speaker 4: got caught playing it. My dad interrupted his own lecture

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Speaker 4: by accidentally punching a dance of the poll and immediately

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Speaker 4: asking for God's forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: You know what's so sad is my immediate reaction to

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Speaker 1: the end of that story is like what happened to

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Speaker 1: the money in GTA? Where they able to say, because

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Speaker 1: I probably made so much money in GTA.

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Speaker 4: All of their all of their hard work, connecting all

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Speaker 4: those all those club dollars from those deuicy milkers, saying

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Speaker 4: about loss

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Speaker 1: Forever those milkshakes shaken about Okayo