WEBVTT - 9 Wonderful Grammar Stories for Language Nerds (like Us!)

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what, mango? What's that will? So you know how

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<v Speaker 1>Charles Dickens was known for being wordy, Right, how do

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<v Speaker 1>you mean? All right, we'll just listen to the first

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<v Speaker 1>sentence of a Tale of Two Cities, and I know,

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<v Speaker 1>you know the very beginning of this, but I had

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<v Speaker 1>forgotten what this whole sentence was like. So it was

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<v Speaker 1>the best of times, it was the worst of times.

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<v Speaker 1>It was the age of wisdom. It was the age

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<v Speaker 1>of foolishness. It was the epic of belief. It was

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<v Speaker 1>the epic of incredulity. It was the season of light,

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<v Speaker 1>it was the season of darkness. It was the spring

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<v Speaker 1>of hope, it was the winter of despair. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's honestly barely half the sentence. It just keeps going

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<v Speaker 1>and going. So he's basically the king of run on sentences,

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<v Speaker 1>is what you're saying. Well, yes, but here's what I

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<v Speaker 1>learned recently, Like, it's no surprise that Dickens rambles, but

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<v Speaker 1>actually i'd heard that it was because he was getting

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<v Speaker 1>paid by the word. Yeah, I mean he wrote those

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<v Speaker 1>serialized novels and magazines, so that kind of makes sense. Right. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I read something this week that his books like Bleak

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<v Speaker 1>House were actually based on total sales, not on word count.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know, the reason he was guilty of so

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<v Speaker 1>many run on sentences wasn't that he was trying to

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<v Speaker 1>rack up the money. It was because he was using

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<v Speaker 1>the language to satirize how pompous people of the era spoke.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's just the first of nine stories we've got

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<v Speaker 1>today about language and grammar. So let's dig in. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>their podcast listeners, welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm Will Pearson,

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<v Speaker 1>and as always I'm joined by my good friend Mangesh

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<v Speaker 1>Ticketer and sitting behind the soundproof glass wearing a shirt

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<v Speaker 1>that has five commas and a lizard on it, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>trying to figure out what Oh, I get it? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>common comma, common common comma, you get it? Yeah? Actually,

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<v Speaker 1>christ And told me about the shirt. You got it

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<v Speaker 1>when you found out that you were really into boy Joy. Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>Such a nice guy, and I think he's probably on

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<v Speaker 1>the triple digits in the number of T shirts he's

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<v Speaker 1>worn in honor of our episodes. Now, but that's our

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<v Speaker 1>friend and producer Tristan McNeil. So I actually want to

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<v Speaker 1>kick this off by saying I like grammar jokes, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, eat shoots and leaves the comma citra stop

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<v Speaker 1>grammar time Like, I love these jokes, and we've printed

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<v Speaker 1>tons of them over the years, But I actually think

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<v Speaker 1>my cousin Shannup, who is brilliant, might have written one

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<v Speaker 1>of the cleverest grammar jokes of all time. You want

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<v Speaker 1>to hear it. Of course, I'll never turn down a

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<v Speaker 1>good grammar joke. Manga. So there's a guy who has

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<v Speaker 1>a stomach pain, right, and he goes to the doctor

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<v Speaker 1>and he's howling and he's complaining, and the doctor checks

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<v Speaker 1>him out and he tells them, look, this isn't good.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got a severe problem here, and there are only

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<v Speaker 1>two ways to treat it. I could take out half

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<v Speaker 1>your colon or I could give you medicine, but you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to be chronically constipated. What do you want to do?

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<v Speaker 1>And so the guy thinks about it and thinks about it,

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<v Speaker 1>and he says, just go ahead and take out half

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<v Speaker 1>my colon. And the doctor goes, why do you choose

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<v Speaker 1>an option? And he says, because I prefer a semicolon

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<v Speaker 1>to a full stop. I think I saw where that

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<v Speaker 1>would go, and that's pretty good. Yeah, it's a cute joke, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't get cute jokes about grammar and constipation

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<v Speaker 1>at the same time. It's true it's hard to come

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<v Speaker 1>by one of those. All right, well, let's move on

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<v Speaker 1>to some facts. That was a good joke. But why

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<v Speaker 1>don't I start us off with the bank Sea of Punctuation.

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<v Speaker 1>And this is a grammar vigilante in England who goes

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<v Speaker 1>around fixing apostrophes. And I know that sounds weird, but

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<v Speaker 1>he does this like in the cloak of darkness, like

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<v Speaker 1>a true superhero, fighting bad grammar with the help of

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<v Speaker 1>his trusty apostrophiser. As he says, So what is an apostrophiser? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds fancy, but it's actually just a broom handle

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<v Speaker 1>with two sponges where you can play stickers to cover

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<v Speaker 1>up apostrophes or like put them in phrases occasionally. And

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<v Speaker 1>he's been doing this for about a decade. And he

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<v Speaker 1>also uses a scalpel and tries to be very neat

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<v Speaker 1>about it. But apparently people have very mixed feelings about

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<v Speaker 1>his work. Some of course, applaud the correction of grammar

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<v Speaker 1>around town, and others, you know, mostly shopkeepers. They're kind

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<v Speaker 1>of upset because you know, they've got to either replace

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<v Speaker 1>the signs or live with the occasional bad sticker job.

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<v Speaker 1>And what about when people say it's vandalism or or

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<v Speaker 1>like it's a crime to do this. Well, he has

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<v Speaker 1>a response to that. He's actually gone on record saying

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<v Speaker 1>the grammar mistakes are the much bigger crimes here. That

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<v Speaker 1>is a bold stance. But but what's interesting to me

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<v Speaker 1>is that your grammar Banksy isn't the only grammar vigilante

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<v Speaker 1>out there. I read this great story of these guys

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<v Speaker 1>in two thousand eight, who'd I think graduated from Dartmouth,

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<v Speaker 1>and then they set out on this great American grammar hunt.

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<v Speaker 1>And they called themselves TEAL, which I guess stood form

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<v Speaker 1>the typo Eradication Advancement League, and they kind of had

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<v Speaker 1>a similar mission. So the newspapers described their road trip

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<v Speaker 1>across America as part Kerouac, part grammar Nazi, just fixing

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<v Speaker 1>signs and store windows wherever they went. And it went

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<v Speaker 1>mind for a while, like they went through a number

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<v Speaker 1>of states. But when they got to the Grand Canyon,

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<v Speaker 1>they fixed up this sign that had errors, but it

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<v Speaker 1>turned out to be this historic preservation sign and they

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<v Speaker 1>got caught and arrested. So what happened to them after that?

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<v Speaker 1>They actually got banned from national parks for a year

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<v Speaker 1>and they had to pay about three thousand dollars of fines,

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<v Speaker 1>which you know they happily did. But what's funny is

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<v Speaker 1>that one of the guy's diary entries was used in

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<v Speaker 1>the court case, and this is what it says, quote,

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<v Speaker 1>I discovered a hand rendered sign inside that I regret

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<v Speaker 1>to report had a few errors. I know today was

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to be my day off from typo hunting, but

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<v Speaker 1>if I may be permitted to quote that most revered

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<v Speaker 1>of android law enforcers, Inspector Gadget, always on duty, I

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<v Speaker 1>can't shut it off. Will we never be free from

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<v Speaker 1>the shackles of apostrophic misunderstanding, even in a place surrounded

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<v Speaker 1>by natural beauty like you? He was super entitled, but

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say that sounds pretty entitled. The weirdest

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<v Speaker 1>thing is that while they widened out a lot of errors,

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<v Speaker 1>they left one. It was the misspelling of the word immense,

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<v Speaker 1>which I guess started with an E on the sign.

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<v Speaker 1>They left that because they would have defaced the sign

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<v Speaker 1>too much. But one of the guys basically said that

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<v Speaker 1>he still has nightmares over not fixing that error. So

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<v Speaker 1>I'm curious. So do you know why they were so

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<v Speaker 1>passionate about fixing these grammatical errors? Like was it just

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<v Speaker 1>for fun or some other mission here? I mean, apparently

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<v Speaker 1>they got really into grammar after winning these spelling bees

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<v Speaker 1>in middle school, so they just took it on after that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's pretty good, all right, Well here's a pretty funny one.

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<v Speaker 1>So did you realize that Julius Caesar wrote two books

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<v Speaker 1>about Latin grammar? So I actually did know this. I

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<v Speaker 1>remember the fact from our magazine days, along with the

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<v Speaker 1>story that um, one time Caesar got caught by pirates

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<v Speaker 1>and they offered this ransom for him, and he thought

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<v Speaker 1>the ransom was too low, so he increased it. He

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<v Speaker 1>made them increase it because he felt undervalued. But you

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<v Speaker 1>were saying he was a grammar fund as well, right, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And one of the weird parts, like he wrote these

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<v Speaker 1>books while in battle, and our researcher E's found this

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<v Speaker 1>fact that that I love. So whenever Marcus Ralius used

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<v Speaker 1>to complain that he didn't have time to read, his

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<v Speaker 1>tutor used to annoyingly bring up that Julius Caesar managed

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<v Speaker 1>to write a whole book on language, and he was

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<v Speaker 1>conquering Gaul at the same time as writing this book.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like that's when like your mom keeps comparing

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<v Speaker 1>you to like the goody two shoots down the street,

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<v Speaker 1>who's so perfect. You know. It's like Caesar could write

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<v Speaker 1>a book while he was in battle. You can. So

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<v Speaker 1>here's a quick one I hadn't heard. Apparently, in nineteen four,

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<v Speaker 1>Winston Cigarettes debuted this new filter tip cigarette and it

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<v Speaker 1>had the slogan Winston tastes real good like a cigarette should, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And it wasn't controversial because of this filter tip or

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<v Speaker 1>or how tasty cigarettes are? You know, it was pushing

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<v Speaker 1>this idea that cigarettes can be so tasty. People actually

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<v Speaker 1>disliked the slogan because it was ungrammatical and grammar slaves

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<v Speaker 1>didn't appreciate use of the word like when they should

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<v Speaker 1>have been using as I guess and I got this

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<v Speaker 1>from adage. But one famous author at the time, this

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<v Speaker 1>guy John Mason Brown, did a twenty minute rent on

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<v Speaker 1>air and said it caused him physical pain to hear

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<v Speaker 1>the slogan. But then he ended his bit by pulling

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<v Speaker 1>out a Winston from his pocket, lighting up and saying,

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<v Speaker 1>but I think the cigarette is great, right right, which

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<v Speaker 1>feels a little hypocritical. Anyway, the grammar debate got to

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<v Speaker 1>such a ground swell that Winston actually added a tagline

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<v Speaker 1>to their tagline, which was what do you want good

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<v Speaker 1>grammar or good taste? And I'm curious? What did people

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<v Speaker 1>want good taste? I guess. I mean this discussion propelled

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<v Speaker 1>Winston like into the top cigarette spot, I guess, and

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<v Speaker 1>after just nine months, the brand sold six point five

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<v Speaker 1>billion of the new cigarettes because they were just so tasty.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess. It's such a weird way describe something like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, it is weird that people could get so

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<v Speaker 1>up in arms about this kind of thing. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I love how passionate they are. Yeah, but I mean, like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't understand that type of grammar issue, right, Like

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<v Speaker 1>it sounds good to the ear, sounds pleasing enough people

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<v Speaker 1>understand you. You know, I understand grammar for the most part.

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<v Speaker 1>But um, I also like breaking the laws of grammar

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<v Speaker 1>take great pleasure in that. So, so, where where do

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<v Speaker 1>you want to go from here? I feel like we

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<v Speaker 1>should go from tasty cigarettes to the animal Kingdom and

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<v Speaker 1>specifically the Bengal finch. Now, the Bengal finch needs strict

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<v Speaker 1>syntax to communicate. And I know that may sound weird,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, like you think about their chirping sentences, they

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<v Speaker 1>actually have to be arranged in a certain way in

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<v Speaker 1>order to make sense. And we know this thanks to

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<v Speaker 1>this researcher at Kyoto University who took bird calls then

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<v Speaker 1>jumbled them up and saw how they reacted to these.

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<v Speaker 1>So you'd play the four or five songs and and

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<v Speaker 1>watch when one of the songs was altered and the

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<v Speaker 1>birds would behave normally for the properly arranged songs and

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<v Speaker 1>then overreact or act like something was really wrong. When

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<v Speaker 1>they got the remixed version of these, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>it was really like it agitated them and they knew

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<v Speaker 1>something from these was really off. That's really funny. They

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<v Speaker 1>think like they'd get so flustered by bad grammar or

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<v Speaker 1>just totally used by it. But you know, I found this,

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<v Speaker 1>uh crazy thing. It's from this BBC story on this

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<v Speaker 1>book The Elements of Eloquence, and it actually says that

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<v Speaker 1>English speakers have this unwritten rule that we use for

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<v Speaker 1>adjectives and basically to understand each other. We have a

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<v Speaker 1>specific order in which we communicate our adjectives. And I

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<v Speaker 1>had never thought about this, but like when you string

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<v Speaker 1>them together, it goes opinion, size, age, shape, color, origin, material, purpose,

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<v Speaker 1>and then the noun, right, And that's so weird because

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<v Speaker 1>like you don't think about classifying things like that, but

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<v Speaker 1>it's kind of like a please excuse my dear aunt

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<v Speaker 1>Sally for words, and in practice it actually makes sense,

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<v Speaker 1>Like you'd unconsciously say something like big black dog, right

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<v Speaker 1>like size before, color before now instead of black big dog,

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<v Speaker 1>which just kind of makes me sound like an idiot, right,

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<v Speaker 1>You sounds so dumb when you said that. You know

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<v Speaker 1>that black big dog. And the folks example is even longer,

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<v Speaker 1>so like that they're showing you how like if you

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<v Speaker 1>say something like, uh, the lovely little old rectangular French

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<v Speaker 1>whittling knife and that phrase, if we're saying that to

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<v Speaker 1>one another, you do get a sense of what I'm

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<v Speaker 1>saying because you sort of understand the order in which

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to describe something. That is amazing, because I

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<v Speaker 1>don't ever remember learning anything like that in school, at

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<v Speaker 1>least in to that degree of specificity. It is all

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<v Speaker 1>just what makes sense to our ear. You know, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess. So, all right, we've got two more facts

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<v Speaker 1>to go, but before we get to those, let's take

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<v Speaker 1>a quick break. Welcome back to Part Time Genius, where

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<v Speaker 1>we're talking grammar and language. So will what's your last

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<v Speaker 1>back going? Maybe? All right, what I think I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about the sark mark, which is a new

0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 1>punctuation market. It was created to show sarcasm. And the

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<v Speaker 1>reason I like the market it kind of looks like

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<v Speaker 1>the AT sign with a point in the middle, is

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<v Speaker 1>because you know, people don't often understand jokes and text,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is a way to communicate that. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I guess now that we have emojis and winks to

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<v Speaker 1>show that we're kidding. But the creators, these guys, Paul

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<v Speaker 1>and Douglas Sack of Shelby Township, Michigan, they wrote on

0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:42.120
<v Speaker 1>their website quote, in today's world, with increasing commentary, debate

0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 1>and rhetoric, what better time could there be than now

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<v Speaker 1>to ensure that no sarcastic message, comment or opinion is

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<v Speaker 1>left behind. It feels like they could have used a

0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.080
<v Speaker 1>stark mark at the end of that sentence. I think

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<v Speaker 1>probably so, yeah, But I mean, you think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>It could be useful, especially end like your boss is

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<v Speaker 1>joking with you, or someone empowered like a politician. You know,

0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.280
<v Speaker 1>it would be super helpful in those instances. Oh, definitely.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's funny because the Sacks copyrighted and trademark their sign.

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<v Speaker 1>But it isn't the only one out there. There are

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<v Speaker 1>lots of other fun punctuation marks, like the snark mark,

0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:20.480
<v Speaker 1>which isn't copyrighted, the rhetorical question mark it kind of

0:13:20.520 --> 0:13:23.800
<v Speaker 1>indicates questions you don't have to answer. You've got the

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<v Speaker 1>authority mark, and even the love point, which very sweetly

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<v Speaker 1>has two question marks on one point facing each other

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<v Speaker 1>to make a heart that is kind of cute. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>one punctuation point you didn't mention, and I'm lucky you

0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 1>didn't because I actually wanted to end on. This is

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<v Speaker 1>the in Taro bang and it's the exclamation point over

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<v Speaker 1>a question mark. And it was created by this copywriter,

0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:50.319
<v Speaker 1>a guy named Martin Specter, who thought, you know, it

0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.040
<v Speaker 1>didn't look very sleek in print or very professional in

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<v Speaker 1>print when you use multiple punctuation marks at the end

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<v Speaker 1>of a sentence, and basically you wanted to be able

0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:01.560
<v Speaker 1>to use it and add copy like he wrote this phrase, um,

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<v Speaker 1>what a refrigerator that makes its own cubes, and that

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.000
<v Speaker 1>was his actual example, and he wanted people to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to use these interro banks, both after what and cubes,

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<v Speaker 1>So he ran a contest to name his new punctuation mark,

0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:21.840
<v Speaker 1>and other suggestions included exclaim a quest, the exclarative, and

0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:27.480
<v Speaker 1>the quiz ding, which I actually kind of but I

0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.680
<v Speaker 1>guess bang is a printer's slang for an exclamation point,

0:14:31.040 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 1>and it also kind of has a nice ring to it. Anyway,

0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.000
<v Speaker 1>what's amazing to me is both how well the interor

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<v Speaker 1>bank succeeded and didn't because, you know, while no one

0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.480
<v Speaker 1>uses it today, it was an actual key on a

0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 1>lot of typewriters in the sixties and seventies, and there

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<v Speaker 1>was even this upside down version of it created called

0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:52.240
<v Speaker 1>no barettni and uh, I guess that's just intero banging

0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.120
<v Speaker 1>backwards and it was made to be used in Spanish sentences. Oh,

0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:58.120
<v Speaker 1>that's pretty cool. You know, I was familiar with the

0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 1>Intero bank, but I actually didn't really lies that it

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<v Speaker 1>was on keyboards that long ago. That's pretty cool. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>all these beautiful Smith Corona typewriters actually, well, I kind

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<v Speaker 1>of want to give you the trophy today, but I

0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 1>don't know. It takes guts for Tristan to be walking

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<v Speaker 1>around with that terrible karma chameleon. So I feel like,

0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, he did this for me, knowing I was

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:22.720
<v Speaker 1>a boy George fan. He might be mocking me. You

0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:25.120
<v Speaker 1>never know what Tristan. He never really lets onto whether

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:26.920
<v Speaker 1>he is or not, So I kind of feel like

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:28.200
<v Speaker 1>I want to give the trophy to him. Are you

0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:31.000
<v Speaker 1>okay with that? That sounds fine to me. Awesome and

0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.240
<v Speaker 1>thanks to Eves jeff Cote for her brilliant research as always,

0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:35.960
<v Speaker 1>and thank you guys for listening. We'll be back with

0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:37.320
<v Speaker 1>a full length episode tomorrow