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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. To sign your

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Speaker 1: guest cost Cold Stratton in for KP. Let's meet everybody today,

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Speaker 1: shollow me in no particular order, that's all. Thing is here,

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Speaker 1: that's all. Uh. If you could have dinner with any athlete,

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Speaker 1: living or dead, though the dead one may not have dinner,

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Speaker 1: what would it be. Oh, that's very tough, they're very tough.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe Muhammad Ali. Maybe yeah, I'll go with that.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to have with him. And since yeah, and

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Speaker 1: more food for me, I guess. So that's good. Look

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Speaker 1: that that that's good. Next up it's Craig Kakowski. Hey,

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Speaker 1: Craigor's what lazy writing conceit in movies drives you crazy?

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Speaker 1: Is there a thing that happens that people rely on

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Speaker 1: that just makes you bonkers when you see it? That's

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Speaker 1: my car. It's not as coming anymore. But I think

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Speaker 1: Phil feels like cars always gets got stolen in eighties

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Speaker 1: and nineties action movies, and there would always be a

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Speaker 1: business and asshole businessman, h white guy in a suit

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Speaker 1: who'd come running out after the sports car that he

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Speaker 1: had left, you know, running or with the keys. That's

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Speaker 1: a good thing. I love that Mine is always like

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Speaker 1: the like overhearing something out of context when you're about

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Speaker 1: to confess something to somebody, Like you know, you're walking

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Speaker 1: to the door to tell somebody you love them, and

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Speaker 1: then you hear them say like, I hate them when

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Speaker 1: they don't love me the way I want them too,

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Speaker 1: and they just really hate them part and turn away,

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Speaker 1: and then you have to add a thirty minutes onto

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Speaker 1: the movie because that makes me crazy. I hate it

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Speaker 1: so much. And that's the equivalent also of turning on

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Speaker 1: the news to get the exact store. Yeah, turning it

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Speaker 1: off the second that story is over. Still on the

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Speaker 1: loose click hey, speaking of it's Mark Gagliardi, still on

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Speaker 1: the loot the Mark, Hey, what candy or sweet treat?

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Speaker 1: Do you like that? Others might not be so wild about.

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Speaker 1: I am a I'm a Whoppers fan, and it turns

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Speaker 1: out I thought everybody loved Whoppers. Not everybody loves Whoppers.

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Speaker 1: That malted milk that is malted milk balls that come

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Speaker 1: in I guess, so you know that it is malted milk.

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Speaker 1: It comes in what looks like a milk cart. So

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Speaker 1: I also love that it comes in that that milk cart.

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Speaker 1: And I remember from my childhood. Yeah, I'm a full

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Speaker 1: on I'm a full on whop head. Ye. Last, but

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Speaker 1: not least, it's Jackie do Ruthie, Jackie, what tech or

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Speaker 1: life innovation do you hope they figure out in the

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Speaker 1: next ten years? Like in ten years, what's the cool

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Speaker 1: thing that they could develop that you would be totally

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Speaker 1: into tech or life innovation? I mean, I get the

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Speaker 1: way I answered these is I go with my gut

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Speaker 1: and I just say the first thing that came to

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Speaker 1: my mind, and then later sometimes I'm like, God, God,

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Speaker 1: why did I do that? But this time I like

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Speaker 1: what my gut is saying. Though it will bring us

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Speaker 1: to a serious place. Um, I hope we fucking find

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Speaker 1: a cure for cancer. Whether that that's an innovation that

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Speaker 1: needs to happen, um, tech or life. I would call

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Speaker 1: it a life innovation. But if tech tech is going

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Speaker 1: to get us there for sure? Um if that I

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Speaker 1: want that the most. And then an asshole businessman runs

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Speaker 1: out and goes, that's my cure. Now, I like, I'm

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Speaker 1: with you there, that would be pretty amazing. Well, on

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Speaker 1: that fun note, I know I know that all food

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Speaker 1: based inns were food based. All of our scenes suggestions

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Speaker 1: are gathered from listeners, emails, or from our Patreon va

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Speaker 1: p s. To become a Patreon supporter of the show

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Speaker 1: and enjoy it exclusive content and other perks, just head

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Speaker 1: on over to Patreon dot com slash alchemy this. If

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Speaker 1: you'd like to submit a scene suggestion via email, please

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Speaker 1: write to the podcast at alchemy this email at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com. That's dot com. Scene one is from Alchemy

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Speaker 1: v I P. Corey Booth, who wrote warning scene suggestion

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Speaker 1: look away for those who must a Mario Kart race

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Speaker 1: being covered like it was NASCAR. Love you guys, man.

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Speaker 1: We here live to see the race of the century,

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Speaker 1: and I'm always here with my co host Tureen. Taureen

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Speaker 1: glad to have you on board. It's loud as hell, Jimmy,

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Speaker 1: it's loud as hell. Trinaw you you've been a you're

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Speaker 1: a driver for a long time. Can you give us

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Speaker 1: some example of what's going on in their heads right

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Speaker 1: now before the race starts. Well, I'm someone who would

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Speaker 1: choose a motorcycle over a four wheel learned that was

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Speaker 1: my choice the race. And as you know these races,

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Speaker 1: you can have either one and they're gonna be in

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Speaker 1: the same, uh competition. I was a motorcycle girl. So

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Speaker 1: I was always about my tight turns, and I was

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Speaker 1: honestly thinking a lot about my power ups and how

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Speaker 1: I was gonna, you know, more more defense than offense.

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Speaker 1: I was a defensive driver, defensive driver. Okay, And I

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Speaker 1: have a question for you, actually, Jimmy, you're someone who's

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Speaker 1: actually had a lot of personal loss on the uh

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Speaker 1: the driveway here on the on the track. Are you

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Speaker 1: talking about my betting abbots? Um? Yes, gambling is an issue.

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Speaker 1: How's it going right? I think today I have some insight, scoop,

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Speaker 1: and I have some money down on toad and I think, wow,

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Speaker 1: so you're still you're still going for it? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think this comes clear. I won't know, Uh, Jeff goons

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Speaker 1: any more money? You know. Turns out though didn't do

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Speaker 1: what you thought he would do today, did he? Jimmy,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you, I don't know what was happening. I

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Speaker 1: just I just let's give me, give me, give me

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Speaker 1: just one more go. Whoa, whoa. You don't get to gimme, gimme, gimme.

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Speaker 1: You don't get to come into here, into my back room,

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Speaker 1: underneath my lamp, in my metal chair, wearing my ropes

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Speaker 1: and say gimme, gimme, gimme me. Okay, yeah, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: the gimme, gimme gimme is gonna be me when you gimme, gimme,

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Speaker 1: gimme several of your toes for Toad not winning today

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Speaker 1: when you swore it was a sure thing. What happened

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Speaker 1: out there, Jimmy, what happened with the banana appeals and

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Speaker 1: the shells and the little slippery spots that took Toad

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Speaker 1: down today? I don't know. I'm just I'm just an announcer.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what's happening on the race track. I

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Speaker 1: got good information from his mechanic, and I thought you

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Speaker 1: were an announcer and you don't know what's happening on

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Speaker 1: the race track. Your job is to know what's happening

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Speaker 1: on the race track and relay that information to to people.

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Speaker 1: So I'm asking you for some information, Jimmy, what the

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Speaker 1: hell happened today? You can you can put the knife down.

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Speaker 1: You can put the knife Okay, I can put the

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Speaker 1: knife down, but I can pick up this shell. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I messed up. It was Rainbow Road. Rainbow Road, you

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Speaker 1: were supposed to throw that race and I for one time,

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Speaker 1: I didn't fall off the sides, and I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: got this, and so I wanted look, you know, I

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Speaker 1: these cards defy the laws of physics. Uh, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know why I got into wagering on on them. Okay,

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Speaker 1: it's not good. Look, it's miraculous that I can drive.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mushroom with Z but I made it. I

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Speaker 1: got through. You know, I had to do it. Okay, Look, mushroom, Uh,

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Speaker 1: you're you're out. You're out? What you're out? I got? Uh?

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Speaker 1: What I got? I got you know, eight drivers waiting

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Speaker 1: to take your spot. I got a I got a

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Speaker 1: giant gorilla, I got a I got a flower that sings.

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Speaker 1: I gotta I don't know, I don't know. It's a

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Speaker 1: lot of a lot of crazy ship. We're here at

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Speaker 1: the Cooper Cup, and the biggest story today is that

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Speaker 1: Mushroom is not racing. I repeat, mushroom is not racing today.

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Speaker 1: A tree, you've you've you've been a driver before. So

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Speaker 1: tell us what exactly are they looking for in a

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Speaker 1: new driver. Okay, I will tell you that. And then Jimmy,

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Speaker 1: we gotta move on from the fact that I used

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Speaker 1: to drive because it, honestly, it just harps on my

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Speaker 1: age and my limits and it makes me feel dark

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Speaker 1: inside a tree. The crowds want to hear about what

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Speaker 1: it's like to be an experienced driver, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: give it to them. So I'm going to give it

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Speaker 1: to them. What they're looking for. You're asking for what

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Speaker 1: they're looking for in a driver that's correctorin And I'm

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Speaker 1: wonder that Penzil oil pencil is the best oil you

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Speaker 1: can put in your car. All right back to your dream.

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Speaker 1: It really depends because sometimes you want a lighter driver,

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Speaker 1: like a like a baby peach, and you want someone

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Speaker 1: who's gonna be that's gonna be a fast because they're

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Speaker 1: lighter in the seat. However, if you get a heftier

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Speaker 1: driver like a Bowser, you're going to be able to

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Speaker 1: take turns better. And again, you know me, defensive player,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be able to knock some people around, and

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Speaker 1: that's very very important. Now I would ask you who

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Speaker 1: you're betting on, but I'm praying for your children that

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Speaker 1: you are not bet Luigi Luigi this time. It's really good.

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Speaker 1: I got a good inside deal, and uh, I think

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Speaker 1: it's gonna come through and speaking of coming through, so

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Speaker 1: it didn't work out so well with Luigi on that

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Speaker 1: last race. Huh you got yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah. Okay,

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Speaker 1: now listen, now you have the knife out already. Let

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Speaker 1: me Yeah, I got the knife out already. I got

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Speaker 1: all the tools laid out on the table. Oh my god, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is a scalpel. And then this is this is

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, this is a it's a nutcracker, like

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Speaker 1: a Christmas nutcracker. Yeah, it's a Christmas nutcracker. And you

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Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna do right now, I'm gonna give

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Speaker 1: you a little demonstration of what is possibly going to

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Speaker 1: happen to you if I don't get my money. Hey, hey, Reggie,

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Speaker 1: bring that mushroom out here? Oh yeah, bringing a mushroom out.

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Speaker 1: That's right. This little guy here was supposed to throw it.

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Speaker 1: You remember that. You remember that little guy you were

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Speaker 1: supposed to throw the race last week? Yeah yeah, and

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Speaker 1: he won that race, and then this week's racey did

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Speaker 1: not show up. You know why he did not show up? No, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't. He was kicked off his team. He was

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Speaker 1: kicked off his team for not throwing it and brought

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Speaker 1: directly to me. So that I could show you what

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Speaker 1: happens now this little mushroom right here. He went against

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Speaker 1: the family. So you know what's gonna happen to this

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Speaker 1: little mushroom right here. Um, you're gonna tell First, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna dry frying with a little bit of salt to

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Speaker 1: draw draw the moisture out. I know, Reggie, I know

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Speaker 1: you love this. It's gonna draw a little bit of

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Speaker 1: moisture out. Then we're gonna get some rosemary. Mix it

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Speaker 1: in there, little olive oil. Tossed the whole thing around together,

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Speaker 1: and then it'll get a nice flavor to put a

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Speaker 1: little bourbon in there. Set that bourbon on fire. Bourbon mushrooms,

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Speaker 1: Bourbon rosemary mushrooms as well. I didn't want to tell

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Speaker 1: you I have an inside scoop about this next race.

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Speaker 1: Where'd you get your inside scoop from a former driver?

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Speaker 1: A former driver with plenty of experience, thirty years of

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Speaker 1: experience driving, you know, tren Oh, I get mushroom spot.

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Speaker 1: Don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm sure right.

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Speaker 1: Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Don't look

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Speaker 1: at me. You can talk to me, but don't look

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Speaker 1: at me. I'll stop doing whatever I'm doing if you

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Speaker 1: look at me. I'm a ghost and I am shy,

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Speaker 1: so do not look at me. Okay, okay, look I

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuss going on here? All right?

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Speaker 1: Look I used to uh, I used to work with boxers.

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Speaker 1: All right, it was simple. They were human. They hit

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Speaker 1: each other with fists. Now I got like, there's like

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Speaker 1: a fox with stars for eyes. There's like it's like

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Speaker 1: a lemur who break dances. Like there's a lot of

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Speaker 1: a lot of ship going on here. Okay, I'm a

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Speaker 1: really good driver. I'm very fast, but if anyone looks

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Speaker 1: at me, I will slam the brakes and stop where

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Speaker 1: I am until everybody looks away, and then I will

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Speaker 1: continue to drive. Why don't you let the ghost on

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Speaker 1: the team? Man, Why don't you let a break dance

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Speaker 1: and Leamur do it. We don't get scared. We aren't

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Speaker 1: scared of nothing. Alright, Calm down, Lamur, and the ghost

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Speaker 1: gets the first shot at it, all right, trust me,

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Speaker 1: I won't let you down unless someone looks at me.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise we're good. Jesus Christ, all right, all right, Well,

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Speaker 1: let's let's cut to the race, and we're back live here,

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Speaker 1: and we just want to let you know subway makes

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Speaker 1: sandwiches the right way. Moving on from previous host, now

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Speaker 1: we have step let them know that subway makes them

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Speaker 1: the fresh way. Subway eat fresh. That's what we're supposed

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Speaker 1: to say. Yeah, sir, thank you, thank you. Train your

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Speaker 1: experience goes further than the race course. All right, But

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Speaker 1: we're back here live and I'm here joined as always

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Speaker 1: with Tureen, who has who's here with me? Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you so much. And I'm here looking at this.

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Speaker 1: We've got a bunch of racers getting ready. They are

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Speaker 1: reving their engines. Will Luigi seems to already have his

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Speaker 1: car on fire. But what the most interesting person here

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Speaker 1: is a new racer and he's in the back of

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Speaker 1: the line. That's a ghost. That's a inky, pinky or

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Speaker 1: stinky I'm not sure, but I'm gonna I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: with its inky, okay. And you know, how did you

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Speaker 1: treat new drivers when they come on the racetrack? I

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Speaker 1: mean like they were my fucking competition. I mean I

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Speaker 1: throw fucking turtle shells at them. I you know, Oh sorry,

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Speaker 1: excuse me. I'm getting hated at this point because when

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Speaker 1: I draw a boundary, you just seem to blow right

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Speaker 1: through it. But anyways, that's how I would treat it.

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Speaker 1: How are you treating your current and debilitating addiction? Well

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Speaker 1: I have I have not bet on this one, and

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Speaker 1: uh so, God bless, I'm gonna call your wife because

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Speaker 1: let me tell you, she's been showing up to my apartment.

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Speaker 1: And my apartment is small. I don't have guests a lot.

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Speaker 1: You know, Janine? Okay, you and Janine been hanging out great?

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Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, whoop, Okay, here we go.

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Speaker 1: Looks like Mario is actually in the lead, weird and

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Speaker 1: his brother Luigi is all right behind him. Maybe right, baby,

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Speaker 1: were the first turn? Yeah? Yeah, you Donkey Kong is somewhere.

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Speaker 1: I think. Well, well, well, Inky, look who decides to

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Speaker 1: come back to pack Land after spending a little time

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Speaker 1: in Mario's country. You think you're better than us? That it?

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Speaker 1: You think you're better than us? Yeah, look, Clyde, I

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Speaker 1: don't think I'm better than you, all right, don't think

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Speaker 1: he's better than us. Blinky doesn't think he's better than

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Speaker 1: us than just going around and circus for that? No, no,

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Speaker 1: then why did you leave? You left? There were only

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Speaker 1: three ghosts against that pac Man this week three ghosts. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, guys, I just I saw an opportunity to

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Speaker 1: spread my wings, like I was tired of trying to

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Speaker 1: catch the little guy and then becoming eyes and returning

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Speaker 1: to base and starting all over again. Okay, what's eat fruit?

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's delicious and it's full of vitamins. So

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Speaker 1: many bouncing pretzels I can have. You know, there's only

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Speaker 1: so many a bount some pretzels in the world. This

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Speaker 1: is why we need you. You know, you're the best

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Speaker 1: of us. Look like that. The race did not go well,

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Speaker 1: so there were thousands of people looking at me. I

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Speaker 1: didn't even get past the start line. It was really sad.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't good. In this world, you're usually all eyes.

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Speaker 1: That's all you want is eye contact. But in that world,

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Speaker 1: you followed by their rules. You shrink away, someone looks

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Speaker 1: at you, freeze. You're the best of us in our world.

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Speaker 1: So Carl, you want to come back and train boxing? Huh?

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Speaker 1: Racecourse didn't go for you? Huh yes, Jesus Christ, it

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Speaker 1: was the worst we got. Hey, you're coming at the

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Speaker 1: perfect time. We got this. Uh. Former Soviet block boxer

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Speaker 1: he's got a shot at Mike Tyson. Great, great, all right,

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Speaker 1: you just gotta teach him the right combo. Yeah maybe, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Wait is this is this another video game reference? Because

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Speaker 1: it's gonna go right over my head? And that's our

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Speaker 1: first seen number twos from Alchemy v I P. David Joho,

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Speaker 1: who wrote Howdy Alchemniacs. Here's a quick scene suggestion. A

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Speaker 1: baby thinks she's funny? Are you gonna get five minutes?

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Speaker 1: Then we're giving you the light? Yeah? All right, that

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Speaker 1: I mean that's uh, that's a yes. All right, well

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Speaker 1: we'll call that a yes. So uh so, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: get five minutes, then you get the light. You get

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Speaker 1: one drink ticket for after your set. I can't use

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Speaker 1: it before. But yeah, have a great show. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: be great good. Just hang out here and then just

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Speaker 1: hang out here in the green room until it's your slot.

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Speaker 1: You'll know you're you're right after Tony. Tony is really nice.

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Speaker 1: They'll they'll warm, they'll warm into the all right shows

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Speaker 1: in ten everybody ten, you're new here? Huh where where

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Speaker 1: else have you played? Flappers? Yeah? Yeah, well you know,

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Speaker 1: uh you know bows La Force. Yeah, he's pretty funny. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't get me started. Do you need me to fill

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Speaker 1: your slippy cup with something? Yeah? Long Island, all right?

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Speaker 1: I mean, might as well get the max out of

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Speaker 1: that drink ticket, right, they're just looking over your set

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Speaker 1: list here. I think I'm covering a lot of the

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Speaker 1: same topics. I mean, I know we're gonna have different

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Speaker 1: takes on them, certainly, but like, uh, I mean I

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Speaker 1: don't want I don't want you to burn. Uh you

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Speaker 1: know everything that I'm doing, all right? Yeah, I got

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Speaker 1: I got pooping my pants, I got that in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I got sucking on mom's titties. That's that's in my set.

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Speaker 1: It's in my set. And then I got a I

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Speaker 1: got a January six bit. Oh you think you're getting

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Speaker 1: in here? Look at the side twenty one months in

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Speaker 1: under only all right? Hey, what what the hell I to?

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Speaker 1: I have to follow a baby last week? Is this?

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Speaker 1: Is this the thing? Is this the new thing? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's the new thing. Look at the clientele out there,

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Speaker 1: all right. These little guys are sucking down juice boxes.

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Speaker 1: There's a two box minimum. They're doing like forty boxes.

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Speaker 1: All right, this is the best we've done in a

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Speaker 1: long time. There there's a line of toddler's waiting to

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Speaker 1: get in. I I need this, that this is an

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Speaker 1: audience that can grow with me. Jerry, all right, look,

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Speaker 1: I'll give you one more shot out there. But Gene,

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Speaker 1: I know you don't want to play down, but you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to. You're gonna have to pander to this crowd.

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Speaker 1: You know, if things aren't going well, do peekaboo clothes

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Speaker 1: a peekaboo. Everyone's doing peekaboo these days. I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: got my poop in my pants bit. But it's a

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Speaker 1: little more. It's you know, it's more of a think

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Speaker 1: it's too heavy. It's too heavy, right, Nerd. I think

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Speaker 1: we need to talk with Susie. It's just she really

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Speaker 1: thinks that she's funny and that this is the path

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Speaker 1: for her. I mean, we said we were always going

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Speaker 1: to support what she wanted to do, so she thinks

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Speaker 1: she's funny. I mean, you've seen her giggle at you know,

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Speaker 1: the noises she makes and okay, but like laughing at yourself,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, at this age, is she laughing or is

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Speaker 1: it more of a twitch reaction? You know, Look, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if it's a twitch or a reaction, but

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Speaker 1: the audience seemed to enjoy it. I mean, I just,

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Speaker 1: I just I just wanted to believe in something that

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Speaker 1: is inaccurate. I just don't want her to grow up

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Speaker 1: with a false sense of self. And I just don't

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Speaker 1: find spitting up on stage to be funny. That's just

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Speaker 1: not the comedy that I want to see. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: now we're just in the point of just judging her comedy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, honey, look, we can we consider this table

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Speaker 1: and we can sign this TV deal or not. It's

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Speaker 1: going to change your life. Should I leave? Should I

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Speaker 1: leave this meeting? Should I be here for this? Listen?

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Speaker 1: We're here to offer two point two million dollars six

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Speaker 1: year deal, right, So yeah, I mean it's not just

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Speaker 1: that we think she's funny, honey, and she thinks she's funny.

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Speaker 1: That audience thought she was funny, those scouts thought she

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Speaker 1: was funny, and this network thinks she's funny. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're not talking streaming, we're talking broadcast, all right, So

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Speaker 1: this is I don't go to anybody for this deal, alright.

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Speaker 1: I'm just concerned that it's gonna mess up with her

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Speaker 1: knap schedule. We just got her on the right sleep schedule,

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Speaker 1: and she's just sleeping regression as part of alright, first

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Speaker 1: team in, first team in let's go ahead and get

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Speaker 1: in there. Susie. Good, should we eat you? Good? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: great Susie? So alright, like, so, let's rehearsals up. Alright,

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Speaker 1: rehearsals up. Um. As you know in this scene, you've

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Speaker 1: just you've gotten back from your big business trip and

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Speaker 1: you've found your husband has been unpure. So uh, let's

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Speaker 1: go ahead and let's give that a rehearsal. The rest

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Speaker 1: of you guys, are you good to go? You're good? Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we got it, We got it dead. Alright, great, alright,

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Speaker 1: so let's go ahead and rehearsal up. Rehearsal up, rehearsle up.

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Speaker 1: Whoa baby, I didn't inspect you back, so come on,

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Speaker 1: don't cry baby, Come on, you're spinning up all over yourself.

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Speaker 1: You got a hold of yourself. Alright, great, crew likes it.

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Speaker 1: You can see the reaction you got from the crew.

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Speaker 1: That's always good. That's always good when the crew last. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so when we get this in front of the audience,

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Speaker 1: can we get a diaper change? Yeah? They need diaper change.

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Speaker 1: In here. Let's get last looks, last diper looks. And

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Speaker 1: how about what for Susie as well? I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

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Speaker 1: All right, that was great, Uh, Susie? Uh, I like

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Speaker 1: improvisation you did? You did improv a little bit there,

383
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Speaker 1: threw me off. You're pro, you pro, you followed, you're olled. Uh?

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Speaker 1: So you know, just make sure you hit the beats

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Speaker 1: of the seat. Okay, everything else is spine as long

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Speaker 1: as you hit the beats right the tenements? Got it?

387
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Speaker 1: I gotta say, Susie, your ability to cry on cue

388
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Speaker 1: is unbelievable, Like, how do you do it? Is it

389
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Speaker 1: since memory or you just you just can turn it

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Speaker 1: on and off like that. That's fantastic. I've been trying

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Speaker 1: to get them to write me some more crying scenes,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe make this, you know, a little more

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Speaker 1: of a dramedy. Um. Hey did they did they pressure

394
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Speaker 1: you to uh to sign for for seven seasons? They did? Yeah? Yeah,

395
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Speaker 1: my my, my people are trying to work something out,

396
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Speaker 1: but uh, you know, no favorite nations? Right? Why what's

397
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Speaker 1: so funny? You guys? You're you're working some kind of

398
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Speaker 1: deal with all right? You two were just about ready

399
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: to get filming. The warm up comic is getting the

400
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: audience going. I think you used to work with him

401
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: at the store. He does a great bit about pooping pants. Uh, honey,

402
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Speaker 1: she won't come out of her trailer. What am I

403
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Speaker 1: supposed to do about it? I don't know. You're you

404
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: seem to be the one. Look, you've been right all along.

405
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Speaker 1: You said that you didn't think that Susie was funny,

406
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Speaker 1: and yet turned out Susie wanted to do dramatic work.

407
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Speaker 1: So now we're here shooting this thing and it's just maybe, Look, yes, fine,

408
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Speaker 1: Is that that face was that you want me to

409
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Speaker 1: say that? You're always right? Yes? I mean you've always

410
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 1: been right about Susie. Thank you, thank you. You were right.

411
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Speaker 1: You're generally right about Susie. You're the only one that

412
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Speaker 1: can talk her down this movie. Think. I just feel

413
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Speaker 1: like my bond with her has really disintegrated ever since

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Speaker 1: we came to set. I was feeling that way too.

415
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: The makeup woman it's weird, right, like always laughing with

416
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,440
Speaker 1: her and trying to touch her and grab her hands.

417
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 1: Excuse me, folks, just bringing in a feeder for Susie.

418
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: Excuse me, a feeder like a feed. This lady is

419
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: gonna feed Susie. Excuse me, oh, like a like a

420
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 1: breast feeder. Yes, yes, Susie's mother's right, she's passed, she's

421
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 1: onto solids. She's onto solids. She asked for it. We

422
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,880
Speaker 1: just Town gets what Town wants. Um. I don't feel

423
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: comfortable with my daughter's sucking another woman's TV. Alright, I'm sorry,

424
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: this is I'm sorry to you, and I know that

425
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: this is no. I'm ready to go if she needs

426
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 1: a personal thing for me, because she had a problem

427
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: latching onto my breast and if I see her latch

428
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: onto yours, I'm going to lose my mind. Really, I've

429
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 1: never had a problem with her or any baby, any baby,

430
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: but Susie in particularly. Oh so you've done this before. Wait,

431
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: this is not the first day of this. Susie has

432
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: requested this from maybe the fourth shoot. And we give

433
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: Susie what Susie maybe contract do we have you you

434
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,680
Speaker 1: you have to go through the parents? Do you have

435
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: to Did you read the contract? Well no, no, we

436
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: just assumed that everything was okay because it was a

437
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 1: Hollywood contract. Excuse me, Let me let the feeder in

438
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: and then we'll have a conversation. I'll take you over

439
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: to Hey, we're here on the red carpet with the arrivals. Oh,

440
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, first time now. And he's Susie is

441
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 1: strolling up being strolled up in a stroller. Oh my goodness,

442
00:27:53,960 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Susie. Who are you wearing? She's wearing?

443
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: Oh great, those are That's that's wonderful. Uh, it's gotta

444
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: be so thrilling, such a whirlwind for you, for like

445
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: the youngest nominee ever at eight months and uh, we're

446
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: just we're thrilled, I mean your performance. Martin Scorsese was

447
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: quoted as saying, I am retiring from filmmaking because nothing

448
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: can top what she just did in my last film.

449
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a Banana Republic. That's what I'm wearing. Great.

450
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: I'm surprised to see you here and not her feeder.

451
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: I've heard that those two have really really been hitting

452
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: it off, you know about Linda. That's so interesting. Hey, Hollywood,

453
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: so hey Linda, so good to see you. Who are

454
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: you wearing. I'm wearing Dolce and Gabanna on the bottom.

455
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: We see on the topica bottom on the bottom, and uh,

456
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: and just showing off the moneymakers, you know, because you

457
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: know I'm not gonna work with Susie forever. There's gonna

458
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: be other gigs. And uh, you know, I just want

459
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: to want everyone to know who you're hiring and what

460
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: you're hiring. Well, it's so good to see you. I

461
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 1: we are You're the front runner. Susie is the front

462
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: runner in this race. Um, finally, Meryl Streep is gonna

463
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: get taken down a notch. And uh, it's I mean,

464
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: we're all pulling for you, Sues. We're all pulling for you.

465
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 1: And I think if I could say that, like, it's

466
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: especially impressive. It she started out in comedy, but you know,

467
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: nobody takes comedy seriously. She had to really stretch her

468
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: dramatic chops to to get this nomination. And the fact

469
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: that she was able to transition so quickly and six

470
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: weeks from comedy to drama and master them both, I mean,

471
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: it's it's amazing. I'm sorry, I better move on. I'm leaking.

472
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: Oh right, sorry, sorry, we'll be back. It's like I

473
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: wasn't even there. Oh that is brutal. I just I

474
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: don't know, I feel no bond with her anymore. And hey, folks,

475
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: here's your awesome blossom, thank you. Thanks. Didn't we order

476
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:32,160
Speaker 1: a bloomin onion? Oh yeah, they they switch. They call

477
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 1: it an awesome blossom. Here this because we're out front.

478
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: Oh got it, got it, got it just looks so similar.

479
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: You know, you'd think with our with our daughter making

480
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: all that money, we could afford to go to out back.

481
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: But no, she I don't know how. She already got

482
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: us out of her contract. It's she's becoming a nightmare.

483
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: And what do you think is going to happen when

484
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: she starts popping out real teeth? You know what I mean?

485
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: They're still gonna want her around and give her these

486
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: two million, six year deals, which I've actually looked into,

487
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 1: and that's not a good deal. No, it's not a

488
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: good deal. Look, here's two R C. Cola's thank you,

489
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: Thank you, Susie. We're sorry you're too you've aged out

490
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 1: of Hollywood. Sorry, kid water, I mean that's for a listers.

491
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: I know you have two oscars, but oscar that was

492
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: your first word, Mama, renegotiate m I mean it might

493
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: be too late for that, but you know you know

494
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: where to find her, and that's our second C three

495
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: is from Alchemy v I P. Chad Cruise. He wrote, Hello,

496
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: Kevin or whomever is guest hosting this week, that would

497
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: be me. After listening since the beginning, I finally became

498
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter. Not to sound like a complete shill

499
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 1: if this happens to get run on the podcast, but

500
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: I didn't realize what I was missing out on, and

501
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: it's been awesome to have a ton of bonus content

502
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: to catch up on. Big thanks to you all seen

503
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: Suggestion Home Makeover Show? Chad, are you ready to see

504
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: what we've done with your house? Yeah, a little little nervous,

505
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 1: but what do you What do you think? No, we're

506
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 1: both We're both excited fellas. You have nothing to be

507
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: worried about. We have taken everything you own and completely

508
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: turned it on its head. Let's meet our designers. Come

509
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: on out here you too. Hello. Nice to see everybody's

510
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: It's so good to be here. That's right. This is

511
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 1: Maria and Hans and Maria and Hans. Uh. They took

512
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: such great care of your beautiful home and uh and

513
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 1: are you ready to go inside and see what they've done? Well?

514
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: They seem very European, so I trust them extremely it's

515
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: it's it's crazy how European I am so? Well? Do

516
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: I have for breakfast a piece of bread? The Europeans

517
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: they eat different than we do. They decorate different than

518
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 1: we do too. Let's walk through the front door and

519
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: say hi to your new foer God. Uh, it looks

520
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 1: it's as black as the night sky. Yes, we want

521
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: you to enter into another universe, another world, and you

522
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: want to leave your earthly positions behind and just come

523
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: in as a soul into your home. Well, normally I

524
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 1: put my keys a wallet on the end table. I

525
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: can't really feel it here. We've always put the keys

526
00:33:58,160 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 1: in the same place that way, when one of us

527
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: was king for the other ones keys, we know where

528
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: it's okay, this isn't going to work. If they don't

529
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 1: like our designs, we can just knock the house down,

530
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 1: because no, no, no, don't, don't, don't, don't knock the

531
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: house down. This is this foyer is like a palate

532
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: cleanser for the world. You know, you leave what was

533
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: outside you, you completely scrub yourself of conceptions and preconceptions,

534
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: and then when you enter the main room, everything changes. Okay,

535
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 1: I just I just can't see any keep an open mind,

536
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: and you keep an open eyes because you're about to

537
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: see so much. And don't worry. There will be plenty

538
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 1: of space to put keys in the next room. But

539
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 1: as we explain, this is palate cleanser. Okay, there's a

540
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: wall here. Now, this is where the door was to

541
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: the living room. You have a living room. Come this way,

542
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:58,440
Speaker 1: step right through this new archway into your brand nude.

543
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 1: If you're you etheria, that's right, it's an ethereal where

544
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: your living room used to be. You now have an etheria.

545
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: There's a lot of a lot of parrots in here. Yes,

546
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: enjoy your senses. The colors of the pet of the

547
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: parrots are for your eyes. The chirping of the parrots

548
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: are for your ears. The soft feathers of the parents

549
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 1: are for your fingers. And if you think that an

550
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: old one is annoying, throw it on the fire and

551
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 1: taste it very nice. Welcome to yes. If if you

552
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 1: please the parrots, one of them will have your keys

553
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 1: for you. You put the keys in the air. Once

554
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 1: you have established rapport with the parrot. You must please

555
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: the parents. You must please the parrots. That feels like

556
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: a lot of work. Five parrots here and one of

557
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: them is very, very picky. But if you can please

558
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: that one, wow, will you have an amazing life. If

559
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: you can please one of the other ones, that be

560
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,400
Speaker 1: fine too. Do they have names? Do they talk? I mean,

561
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: how do we please Chico, Lossandra, Andrean and Pico. The

562
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: fourth one is Andrean. Yeah, and just tell me their

563
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: names one more time. Okay, I know I got the

564
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,439
Speaker 1: names down. I'm not sure which is which. Okay, Wow,

565
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: you can't tell. We've got Cuban parrot Pepe. Then we've

566
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:30,160
Speaker 1: got a golden macca Chico. Then we've got a red macaw.

567
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 1: That one is Adrian. Then we got um, which one

568
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: was Lossandra, clear one? The clear one? I think that's

569
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: obvious parrot. That's a clear parrot, okay. And then you

570
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: said if the parrot displeases me, I can throw it

571
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,439
Speaker 1: on the fire. Yes, I said, if it gets old,

572
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: but yes, if you displease it, and then that's okay.

573
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: But you only have five. And if you run out

574
00:36:56,040 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 1: of parrots, the room folds in on itself like the

575
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: world on collapses. Goodness, and this fire is really blazing

576
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: at it's a hot fired and it's going to warm

577
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: up your entire house and they winded and heat up

578
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: the entire place in this summer to an unbearable heat

579
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: where you're going to feel like you're going to pass out.

580
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 1: But my god, when you get outside, any temperature is

581
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: going to feel like fresh air to you, and you're

582
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 1: gonna feel so revived. Okay, we live in Austin. It's

583
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: pretty hot and humid to begin with, so imagine thinking

584
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: that that's refreshing when you lotside. Alright, well, what about

585
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: the kitchen, because I think that and I really hope

586
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 1: to get like an island in the middle of the kitchen,

587
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: just get a little more space to work. We we

588
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: love to cook, fellas. Not only do you have an

589
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: island in your kitchen, Clint Island, you have a tropical

590
00:37:54,520 --> 00:38:00,799
Speaker 1: island and the ocean that surrounds it. Take a look. Now,

591
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,720
Speaker 1: it's more of an isthmus than it is an island

592
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: because we did have to connect it a little bit,

593
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 1: just a tiny bit of a bit of a tight room,

594
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,720
Speaker 1: so technically it is an isthmus. But do not worry.

595
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 1: It still feels like you are in the middle of nothing.

596
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: They're alligators in this moat. There are there are, don't worry.

597
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: That's why there's the canoe right here. Hop on in

598
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: and check out your new island. Sorry, Isthmus, we'll just

599
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 1: walk the isthmus. Do we have to get in the canoe? Yeah,

600
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: someone isn't getting into the spirit of the house. I mean,

601
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 1: we can just knock it down. Please, please don't knock

602
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 1: it down. Therefore the emergencies. But if you want to

603
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: knock the whole thing down, we can knock the whole

604
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,839
Speaker 1: thing down right now while we're all inside, very clear

605
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 1: and we we we don't want to knock anything down.

606
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,720
Speaker 1: This we were displaced while you were doing this project

607
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 1: for two months. We don't want to knock anything down.

608
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,360
Speaker 1: We've been staying in a Ramada inn. Yeah. When you

609
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: get to the island, be sure to make friends with

610
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 1: the nay Chives who live there. There's natives of the

611
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,799
Speaker 1: kitchen Isthmus, Yes, there are, and they have not seen

612
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 1: outsiders before, so just you know where did you find them.

613
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: They can either be very very helpful in the kitchen

614
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 1: or they can absolutely ruin your life now please okay,

615
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 1: and and throw them on the fire when they get

616
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 1: old to you throw them to the crocodile. You have joke,

617
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: you have to throw it around. You know, you feed

618
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: the crocodiles. There's crocodiles and alligators home, Yes, what of them?

619
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,799
Speaker 1: Just snapped at make a mixture of salt and fresh water,

620
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: so we have it all. Okay, well, you say, we're here.

621
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: We have some mangroves and these desalinates the water, the

622
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: roots of it, and if you take off a leaf,

623
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,839
Speaker 1: it is actually very very salty. So on one side

624
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 1: of the mangroves we have the salt water, and on

625
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: the other side we have the fresh water, and both

626
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: we have alligator crocodile, and in between the two you'll

627
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: be very happy. The air fryer you wanted we did.

628
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: We did the one thing we did put in specifically

629
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 1: out of everything you really wanted. In the air friar

630
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 1: runs only on tears. No what, Yes, Now you can cry,

631
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,839
Speaker 1: or you can get one of the natives to cry,

632
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: or you can get one of the well of parrots

633
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 1: parents to cry. You can get one of the parents.

634
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 1: But if you take all of the parrots out of

635
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 1: that room. Okay, I don't think I'm going to have

636
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 1: to make the parrot cry. I think I have enough

637
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 1: tears in my own to operate here. You're not going

638
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: to want to make a crocodile cry, right, you know

639
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: what they say, a crocodile tears. No, they don't do

640
00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 1: crocodile tears. That's what they say. Oh, they don't cry.

641
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: That's the same. They don't do crocodi out here. Don't

642
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: give me crocodile tears, that's what they say. Who's oh god,

643
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 1: what what did you do to a bedroom? Well, you said,

644
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: what was the adjective? You said you wanted your bedroom

645
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: to be for the viewers at home roomy, roomy. That's right,

646
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,800
Speaker 1: roomy and and sexy. You eat Clint through sexy and

647
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:21,960
Speaker 1: they're right at them. Well, let's take a peek inside

648
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: your roomy, sexy new bedroom. Let's open that door. What's

649
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: roomier then a woman's womb in the nine months? So

650
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: that is the inspiration for this personal bedroom. And also

651
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 1: that is sexy. No, at nine months now you have

652
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,400
Speaker 1: already populated and you have your growing the child, and

653
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 1: you're also horny as hell because of all the hormones.

654
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: So that's what the inspiration for this room. Yes, and

655
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 1: the child in the corner is played by Oscar winner Susie. Everybody,

656
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 1: Oh that is Susie and funny stuff. She gets too

657
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: old for your liking, Throw her in the ceiling fan.

658
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 1: What okay, whoa I think I just slept on the

659
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: amniotic fluid. And isn't that fun? What if you slip

660
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: and slide into one another. Now you're bumping into each

661
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: other like a meat cute, like you're just meeting for

662
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 1: the first time. You know how sexy? That is all

663
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: you want? Sexy? You want sexy. What is sexier than

664
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: the corner or kligland orgy going on it? Oh god,

665
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: it's the data there the parents. It's very, very sexual,

666
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: and it will give you inspiration for different things you

667
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: can do with each other. Maybe you did not think

668
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:43,320
Speaker 1: about it. Now, if you take this fallopian tube and

669
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: you're going to get into it like we've built these

670
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 1: big canisters like you when you deposited check at the

671
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: bank in the drive through. You can put yourself right

672
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: in here, get shoot through the Filippian tube and you

673
00:42:55,280 --> 00:43:01,680
Speaker 1: end up in your own suite bathroom. Wow, there's no bathroom.

674
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: The room is equipped with both speakers with two months

675
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 1: free of Pandora radio. Yes, yes, alright, let's hop in

676
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: those fallopian tubes and check out your master bathroom. Shoo, shoo, shoo.

677
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: It looks pretty basic. We didn't get to this way.

678
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: Does you know we can do whatever to it. We

679
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: just wanted to show. You didn't even scrub the tub.

680
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 1: You're doing a lot putting in this tube mechanism. It's

681
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: very actually quite difficult. And it was to get a

682
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: clear parrot, you know, like we were busy. There a

683
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 1: lot of paperwork, and we thought about it because I

684
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: wanted to have clear bathroom. You know, see everybody see

685
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 1: what you're doing in their Oh sexy, what you showered?

686
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: But he said, no, what about a clear parrot? And

687
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,240
Speaker 1: then we had the big fight. Does it even exist?

688
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 1: He said, if it does, I win the bed, and

689
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: then he did and he won, and now the bathroom

690
00:44:03,760 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 1: is just what it used to be. How long have

691
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 1: you two been working together? We just met about two

692
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: minutes before the show began. Also, you've been working independently

693
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 1: this whole time, yes, but across independent and also cross

694
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 1: to each other. You know. Well, Hans did the entire

695
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: backyard us. Are you ready to see your new backyard?

696
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: Do we have to go on the filopian too? We

697
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 1: should do. Yes, you have to see on the eggs

698
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: in and out of the bathroom, busy from the low

699
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:54,479
Speaker 1: and here we are. Wow, well there's a putting green

700
00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: like we we hoped for nice trees over there. It's

701
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,280
Speaker 1: like a little mini forest. Well was that a tiger?

702
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: It is a tiger. That is Alan Trammel. He lives

703
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: in the corner and tigers shortstop. Ellen decides the graphs

704
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: for you and only time, anytime you want it, and

705
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: you only have to feed him once a week. And

706
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,360
Speaker 1: you know that really fun show and also game that

707
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 1: people play in their personal houses. Florida's lava. Okay, well,

708
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:30,480
Speaker 1: anything that looks like concrete in the backyard is lava.

709
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: Don't start, You're going to get burned. So now you

710
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 1: have to be hopping around from patch to patch of

711
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 1: grass to grass maybe to jump into the pool. You know,

712
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 1: if you catch on fire a little bit, you have

713
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: to jump into the pool. Can we get an isthmus

714
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 1: put in? Maybe over the Now you want the isthmus?

715
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: Now you want the isms? Okay? Can we uh? Can?

716
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: Can Clinton I have a moment too? Of course you can.

717
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: We're going to cut you a quick commercial and when

718
00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:00,280
Speaker 1: we come back, we will hand you your key. Ease.

719
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: Has this been going out live this entire time. What

720
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: do you think? What do you think? What are we

721
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,200
Speaker 1: gonna do? We have no other place to live. This

722
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: is a this is a zoo. It's a literally a zoo.

723
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: It is a zoo. What do you think? I mean?

724
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 1: I I wish they'd put new tile in the bathroom.

725
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 1: But and the kitchen does look nice? Has that air fryer? Yeah?

726
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: I mean I thought maybe we could sell the seat

727
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 1: through parrot. That's gotta be worth yeah, flip it, flip it.

728
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: We're back. Are you ready to get your keys to

729
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 1: your brand new home? Yes? Yes, yes, we are all right.

730
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 1: Go back in that living room and your keys are

731
00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 1: in one of those parents. Oh fuck, I know that

732
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: might be the first thing we did. That was like

733
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:04,919
Speaker 1: a bottle episode. And ever whenever real time of improv scenes,

734
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: let's check in with everybody, see what they're up to,

735
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 1: off tool saying, oh thanks for having me. This is

736
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:13,879
Speaker 1: always so much fun. Um I have shows coming out,

737
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 1: but you can see if you're in the l A area.

738
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: Go to my website at toolsing dot com. Are my socials,

739
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 1: which are all a tool time. No, I's Jackie against

740
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 1: Alice birthday. Thanks for having me? What a good time.

741
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: And I have to say I usually, UM don't love

742
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: a bottle episode to do not to I like watching them,

743
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: but you know, I feel very like I want to

744
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: do something out. I feel to a d D I

745
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: guess and I enjoyed that. Um, so thank you, thank

746
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 1: you for having me. I'm at Jackie d Ruthie on

747
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 1: Instagram and that's where I post about and he shows

748
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: any fun upcoming things to check out. I smart gag Leardi,

749
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: Hey buddy, thanks for having me. Always a treat. Um, yeah,

750
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,560
Speaker 1: this was fun. You guys are all really funny and

751
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 1: I left playing with you. Uh find me online. I'm

752
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: at mark Gags on most stuff and um we got

753
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,720
Speaker 1: this with Mark and Howe on the Maximum Fun Network.

754
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: Got more shows coming out every week and um, if

755
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: you were in the Los Angeles area first Thursday of

756
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: every month that Lineage Performing Arts Center, what you will

757
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,719
Speaker 1: it is a Shakespearean unplay. That is all I will

758
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,680
Speaker 1: say about it. But it's happening in Pasadena on the

759
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,640
Speaker 1: first Thursday of every month with Ensemble Shakespeare Theater. If

760
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: you're in the area, come check it out and thanks

761
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 1: awesome and Craig so much fun? Can you tell? That

762
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:43,240
Speaker 1: I don't know the first thing about Mark or NASCAR

763
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: for that matter, but pac Man, I should have got

764
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 1: that reference. Come come on, like that's that's from my

765
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: prime video game days. Uh so yeah, I'm gonna I'm

766
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,399
Speaker 1: gonna phone up for the next Uh. You might really

767
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:03,280
Speaker 1: liked it. Very fun, fun game. I mean I vaguely

768
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: know that, like you're in the cart and there's crazy

769
00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 1: like past you're going up, but I don't know who

770
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 1: the characters are anything. Yeah there's a breakdancing Leber. You

771
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: got that right? Yeah, Yeah, I knew that. I knew that.

772
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 1: I'm at Cold Stratton at Stratton Cold, depending on the

773
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: social thing, first Thursday in the month at the West

774
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 1: Side Comedy Theater, ten pm. It's pretty pretty pony different

775
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 1: monologists every time and several people that are regulars on

776
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: this here show. Uh come check that out as a

777
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: sketch fest dot com Also our are off delayed twentieth

778
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:42,319
Speaker 1: festival coming back, we think we'll find out. Let's thank

779
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 1: our producer Mr an Engineer, Mr Doug Maybe. Uh, the

780
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 1: fine folks that I heart media dot com and please

781
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:54,920
Speaker 1: write to us at I'll cheve you this email at

782
00:49:54,960 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. That email and until next time I

783
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 1: M