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Speaker 1: I wanted to bring this up because my mom listens

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Speaker 1: to the show every day, and I wish I could

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Speaker 1: see the look on my parents' face when I do

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Speaker 1: this story. I wish I could, and I want your

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Speaker 1: genuine reaction, especially if your I don't know, twenty thirties forties,

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Speaker 1: you grew up with siblings.

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Speaker 2: I know Caitlin did. Caitlyn.

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Speaker 1: You practically were a second mom because of the age

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Speaker 1: difference twelve years thirteen years difference between you and Belle,

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Speaker 1: your sister. She's younger. A TikToker known as Shira is

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Speaker 1: making waves with her bold stance. Why do I believe

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Speaker 1: that she might be in her early twenties. I've never

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Speaker 1: seen this woman. I hate to say this, this is

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Speaker 1: a generational take, but parents are going to shiver or

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Speaker 1: older siblings her bold stance. Parents shouldn't make their kids

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Speaker 1: babysit younger siblings without consent and compensation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you were a big sister too.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine, Pauline, if Mama Marta had been like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm heading out tonight with my cigarettes and.

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Speaker 2: Virginia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah Salem, So I was gonna say Virginia slims, But

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Speaker 1: Salem flim going out with the girls tonight.

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Speaker 2: You gotta watch your sister.

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Speaker 1: And you were like, first of all, I didn't consent

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Speaker 1: to that, and second and second of all, what will

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Speaker 1: my compensation package looks like? Can you imagine now? Look

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Speaker 1: like my My parents are very smart. My parents are

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Speaker 1: very smart. I have my sister seven and a half

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Speaker 1: years younger, and they were not They were no dummy.

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Speaker 1: You know. On my birthday they were were extremely generous.

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Speaker 1: They gave me a brand new car. On my birthday,

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Speaker 1: they gave me a brand new car. Was so I

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Speaker 1: couldn't believe it, Like I was convinced that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: getting a car. I was convinced that their deal was,

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Speaker 1: you got two years to make money in the summer

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Speaker 1: and whatever amount of money you can make, we'll we'll

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Speaker 1: match that and you can buy a car with it.

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Speaker 2: Well, I didn't make it.

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Speaker 1: I didn't make that much money, so I wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: I didn't think I was getting a car. I got

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Speaker 1: a car. Boom Immediately, here are the keys. Oh my god, yay, congratulations,

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Speaker 1: take your sister to dance, Go get me some at

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Speaker 1: the store. Hey, go go pick up so and so

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Speaker 1: and so and so at the airport. Hey, you do

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Speaker 1: do very smart. It was what an investment in the

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Speaker 1: quality of life of their own quality of life? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: extremely generous. I'm extremely grateful. I will do the exact

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Speaker 1: same thing if I ever have a kid. It'll be like,

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Speaker 1: oh sweet, and this is before uber and everything.

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Speaker 2: Hey, go pick up the Chinese food or whatever. And

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Speaker 2: for a.

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Speaker 1: Little while you're like, oh, I get to drive, Like

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Speaker 1: I get to drive, And after a while you're like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go to dance practice again. But

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Speaker 1: if I had told my parents, like, what's in it

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Speaker 1: for me? You know, well, what are you to pay

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Speaker 1: me for that? We'll be like, I don't know. How

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Speaker 1: about the air you're breathing? How about you know what

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Speaker 1: you're wearing right now? How about that car? How about

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Speaker 1: the how about how about you know, eating, sustenance, education,

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Speaker 1: how about love? Can you imagine, Caitlin, if you had

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Speaker 1: been like, well, you know, I don't know. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I didn't agree to that, And second, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: can you imagine telling your parents I don't consent to that.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And I had enough forethought to go like, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 3: sometimes it was frustrating because I was like, fully like

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Speaker 3: we had like a drop.

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Speaker 4: Off pickup schedule.

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Speaker 3: I was getting her from school, like I always had

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Speaker 3: a car seat in my backseat.

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Speaker 4: I looked like a teen mom in high school.

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Speaker 3: But I just I had enough forthought to go okay,

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Speaker 3: Like my parents have given me so.

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Speaker 4: Much, Like the least I can do is like help

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Speaker 4: them out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.

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Speaker 1: I know that as a kid, I was not grateful

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Speaker 1: enough because I didn't have any I didn't have the

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Speaker 1: perspective to realize like how hard it was for them

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Speaker 1: to provide the things they did. And I also was

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Speaker 1: around kids who had as much or more than me,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't I had no example of how it

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Speaker 1: could look and in retrospect, like, I'm just so grateful

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Speaker 1: for all the things that they did. But I even then,

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Speaker 1: even as a little snot nose, little entitled kid, I

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Speaker 1: knew better than to ask my parents to compensate me.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine if you told her, like, here's your

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Speaker 1: your older sister takes you in when your mom passes away,

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Speaker 1: and then and then she's already got kids, and there

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Speaker 1: are always kids, and so can you imagine if Helena

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Speaker 1: had been like, hey, I need you to do this

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Speaker 1: Makitha and you're like, well, well right, No.

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Speaker 5: I would never do that for Helena. But I because

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Speaker 5: I had a.

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Speaker 6: Friend who was really like a second mom to all

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Speaker 6: of her siblings, and like we would have parties to

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Speaker 6: go to the skating rink and I would be like,

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Speaker 6: are you on duty tonight?

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Speaker 5: Like can you come out?

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Speaker 6: You know, like I gotta watch the kids, And I'm like,

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Speaker 6: your mom had all those kids, that's not your responsibility.

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Speaker 6: So some parents, they really do put a lot of

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Speaker 6: responsibility on the oldest.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, the oldest sibling, y'all are the strongest soldiers for real.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: No, it's you say, it's like you need to be

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Speaker 4: an oldest sibling.

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Speaker 3: I think in a lot of ways, but it's we

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Speaker 3: don't choose it, and that's okay, you know, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: some parents.

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Speaker 4: Do take advantage of it.

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Speaker 3: I mean we had bell I would throw parties in

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Speaker 3: the basement and Bella would be down there with her

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Speaker 3: bottle getting passed around by like all right, that's just

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean.

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Speaker 5: That's what we would do.

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Speaker 6: We would just go to my friend's house and babysit

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Speaker 6: at her house.

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Speaker 2: We would all hang out.

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Speaker 5: But we you know, if.

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Speaker 1: You're treating the oldest sibling like a nanny, that's one thing.

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Speaker 1: But if you're just being asked to help out around

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Speaker 1: the house because that's what family does, and you're over

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Speaker 1: here going mmm yeah. In her viral video, she emphasizes

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Speaker 1: that children are not free labor and should not be

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Speaker 1: assigned adult responsibilities like cooking, cleaning, or babysitting without agreement.

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Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Where are you going to live?

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Speaker 6: Like?

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Speaker 1: What are you how exactly are you expected to survive?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Your parents are also not I mean, while I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of parents probably feel like it, they're not

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Speaker 1: like your servants, right, Like you still have to be

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Speaker 1: a functioning member of a family, of a unit, like

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Speaker 1: if your parents expect you to keep your stuff in

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Speaker 1: order or they you know. I remember my parents used

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Speaker 1: to be like, your only job is to go to

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Speaker 1: school and get good grades. That's the only thing you

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Speaker 1: have to do. So I can do it, man, It's

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Speaker 1: like that's it. And I remember the time I thought

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Speaker 1: that was such a such an undertaking.

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Speaker 2: Yes, my parents.

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Speaker 1: My dad used to say to me almost every night, Man,

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Speaker 1: what I wouldn't give to go back to school? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, you and your stupid line. That's dumb,

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Speaker 1: that's dumb. I want out of here, I want out

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Speaker 1: of this prison. And you know what, what I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: give to go back to school and learn more stuff.

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Speaker 2: Seriously, the freedom, honey.

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Speaker 1: I think the difference is I would I would choose

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to learn and it would be on

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Speaker 1: my terms as opposed to what they make you learn

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Speaker 1: and at the time. But again, you know, youth is

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Speaker 1: wasted on a young perspective. But my god, if I'd say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know about that, Okay, well, then the dinner

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Speaker 1: will be seventeen dollars, then I mean because they flip

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Speaker 1: it on you too.

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Speaker 5: That's true.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they chose to have you, But I don't think

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Speaker 1: that means that you don't have any obligation to be

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Speaker 1: a part of a unit, right right.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, don't take advantage.

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Speaker 7: No, my mom would send me back to Poland, like

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Speaker 7: with a one weight ticket back like I'm from there,

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Speaker 7: but she would send me there with my grandma. She's

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Speaker 7: threatened me before when I was a kid, many of times,

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Speaker 7: like when I didn't want to help out around the

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Speaker 7: house or with my sibling or whatever, like we're four

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Speaker 7: years apart, not that much of a difference, but I

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Speaker 7: was older.

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Speaker 2: You would have to build that that you were.

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Speaker 7: Farm literally, my mom came from a farm with nothing,

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Speaker 7: crap in a hole like she did, like, I.

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Speaker 2: Need milk for my cereal. We'll then go milk it every.

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Speaker 7: Morning, Yes exactly. She climb mountains to get to school.

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Speaker 7: I heard all about it.

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Speaker 1: Both ways uphill, which was crazy. I had no idea

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Speaker 1: that geography in Poland was that way. Everything is uphill

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Speaker 1: all the.

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Speaker 2: Time, all the time walk. I'm like, oh my god, I.

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Speaker 1: Just cannot imagine. I cannot imagine responding like that. My

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Speaker 1: dad would, my my mom really would have whooped me.

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Speaker 3: Where do they think this like code of conduct that

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Speaker 3: they're like aligning two comes from? Because you're you're under

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Speaker 3: your parents house, your parents' rule. Like, where do you

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Speaker 3: think your rights are coming from? You have no rights?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know your child of course.

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Speaker 1: Huge discussions now on her post about the balance between

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Speaker 1: family responsibilities and children's rights. Some argue that helping out

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Speaker 1: is it part of growing up. Others believe that imposing

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Speaker 1: such duties without consent can lead to resentment and hinder

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Speaker 1: personal development in some ways. I think it developed me,

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Speaker 1: you know, and there was even stuff that they would

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Speaker 1: they would have me do and pay me for that

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Speaker 1: I probably should have just done. But I also had

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Speaker 1: no means of making money, and I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: before a certain age went, you can't.

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Speaker 2: Get a job. The very day I could get a job.

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Speaker 2: I got a job.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like, you know, knowing the law, and

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Speaker 1: they get me, which they claim I never did.

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Speaker 2: It's outrageous.

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Speaker 1: They argue, up and down, you never ever did that,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, no, I did that for years.

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Speaker 1: It's so crazy. I'm like, where do you think I

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Speaker 1: made that up? Like I remember the hiking boots I

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Speaker 1: wore to mow the law and I remember I remember,

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Speaker 1: you know, if the sprink corst had gone off, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't anyway, don't get me started on this trauma.

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Speaker 3: Parents don't like if you say anything happened other than

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Speaker 3: like amazingness, They're like, no, that is so, I'm not even.

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Speaker 2: Mad about it. I'm not mad.

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Speaker 1: I tell the joke all the time that now that

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Speaker 1: I have grown up money, I want to buy a

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Speaker 1: riding lawnmower because they wouldn't let me have one, and

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Speaker 1: I want to just ride it around my parking griage

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Speaker 1: because I can have it if I want it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Big Album Home Depot will hook me up with a discount.

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Speaker 1: Even it's amazing, But my mom calls me, you never

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Speaker 1: mowed the lawn, like what are you talking about? Anyway,

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Speaker 1: But they would pay me, like I think whatever. They'd

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Speaker 1: pay me twenty dollars to do that. And the reason

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Speaker 1: they would I probably shouldn't have. They probably shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: paid me twenty dollars. They probably should have done it

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Speaker 1: because well, thanks for the you know, education and food

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Speaker 1: and you know everything else. But I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: when you're thirteen years old, you want basketball cards all

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Speaker 1: the time. It's like, all right, we'll go do something

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Speaker 1: and we'll give you the money, you know. And I

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Speaker 1: think it was like teaching you about work and being

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Speaker 1: paid and saving you can you know, eat, you know,

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Speaker 1: by this much now or that much later or whatever.

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Speaker 2: But even that, they didn't have to do that if

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Speaker 2: they didn't want to