1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: If you're a fan of the HBO show The Gilded Age, 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: or if you're just fascinated about how differently people live 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: their lives a mere one hundred and twenty five years ago, 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: the story is for you. The dream of marriage is 5 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: that it's forever, but that's not always the case. Now. 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: The thing is today, if all goes well, we dry 7 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,759 Speaker 1: our tears, sign some papers, and move on to a 8 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: hopefully better life. But that's actually a recent development. In 9 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: the real world of the eighteen hundreds, divorce was basically 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: social suicide. One very famous woman attempted to change that. 11 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 1: I'm Patty Steele. Divorce Vanderbilt's style. That's next on the backstory. 12 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: The backstory is back. It's always interesting to take a 13 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: peek inside the drama of other people's lives. Makes us 14 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: feel better about our own troubles, right. Part of the 15 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: fun of watching the HBO show The Gilded Age is 16 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: the feeling that you're going back in time, behind closed 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: doors and getting a sense of what that upper echelon 18 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: lifestyle was like. The thing is, it wasn't without its downside. 19 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: Perfect example the life of Alva Vanderbilt. She, of course, 20 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:18,199 Speaker 1: was the domineering mother of Consuelo Vanderbilt, the young woman 21 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,559 Speaker 1: who was forced to marry an English duke despite being 22 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: in love with another man. How does that happen? Well, 23 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: once again, it was a very different time. But putting 24 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: Consuelo aside for one hot minute, let's take a look 25 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: at what was happening in Alva's life at the exact 26 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,480 Speaker 1: same time. In order to do that, we have to 27 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: go back to the beginning of the relationship between Alva 28 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: and her husband, William K. Vanderbilt. Alva married Willie in 29 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,880 Speaker 1: eighteen seventy five. They had met just a few months 30 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 1: earlier at a Vanderbilt family party. Alva's best friend, Consuelo Yusnaga, 31 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: introduced the two. As was the case in a lot 32 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: of marriages among the ultra wealthy, money was an important consideration. 33 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: Alva thought Willie was handsome and charming, but most importantly 34 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 1: he was loading. Her family had lost their fortune and 35 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: she needed a moneyed marriage to help them kind of 36 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: get back on their feet, and Willie fit the bill 37 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 1: to a tee. Now, the problem is Alva was a 38 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,919 Speaker 1: stubborn chick, strong willed, and very opinionated at a time 39 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: when aristocratic women were none of those things, and Willie 40 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: was the ultimate spoiled playboy. His interest in other women 41 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: and in the party life without his wife around became 42 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: more and more of a problem. He spent more time 43 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 1: at his club, the racetrack and gambling than he did 44 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: at home, and he was delighted with the attention beautiful, 45 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: money hungry women and men gave him. Now in that time, 46 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: if you were a well born woman, you were still 47 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: considered inferior to men, so in a lot of cases 48 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: they did what they wanted while the woman gritted her 49 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: teeth and spent their money. Alva got really tired of 50 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: that life, particularly after Willie got involved with a woman 51 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 1: in Paris. Her name was Nellie Newstretter. He regularly took 52 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: her out to the theater, to cafes, and for drives 53 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: along the streets and through the parks of Paris. Well, 54 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,359 Speaker 1: that was it for Alva. She was not about to 55 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: quietly put up with being publicly humiliated by anybody, let 56 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: alone her husband's mistress. In December of eighteen ninety four, 57 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 1: Alva filed for divorce. Not only was it international news, 58 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: but it also meant she would be ostracized from upper 59 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: class society who simply didn't do that kind of thing. 60 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: As a woman, you put up with your marriage no 61 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: matter what. You wouldn't be welcome at church, at social clubs, 62 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: at formal parties and dinners, and your children would be 63 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: tainted by the scandal of divorce. Even Alva's lawyer begged 64 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: her to reconsider. Now. The problem is, there was no 65 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: such thing as no fault divorce, and that meant you 66 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: had to prove adultery, which amazingly was the only way 67 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: to get a divorce in New York State as well 68 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: as many other states. Until nineteen sixty seven, only a 69 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: handful of states, like Connecticut and Rhode Island allowed divorce 70 00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: on the basis of abandonment also. But Alva was done. 71 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,839 Speaker 1: She wanted money, and she also wanted to hang on 72 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,719 Speaker 1: to her social connections, and that's where her daughter came in. 73 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: When Alva and Willie's divorce was settled in March of 74 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: eighteen ninety six, it made the front page of the 75 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: New York Times. The headline read, w K. Vanderbilt loses 76 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: his wife, gets an absolute divorce and custody of children. 77 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: She is allowed to marry again. Alva got a settlement 78 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: of ten million dollars, which is equal to about three 79 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: hundred and twenty five million today. On top of that, 80 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: she got several of their country estates. While all this 81 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: was going on, she immediately felt the scorn of New 82 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: York City and Newport, Rhode Island bui shots and she 83 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 1: wasn't one to be ignored. She had known this moment 84 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: was coming and realized society types would have trouble ignoring 85 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: her if her daughter married into British aristocracy. Everybody wanted 86 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: to rub elbows with a duke, so Alva began orchestrating 87 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: the marriage of her eighteen year old daughter Consuelo to 88 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: the Duke of Marlborough, who had impeccable lineage and very 89 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: little money to maintain his lifestyle and his enormous family estate, 90 00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: Blenheim Palace. A business deal was struck, Conswelo had no 91 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: ability to resist, and the marriage took place in November 92 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 1: of eighteen ninety five, with her sobbing for the entire day, 93 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,679 Speaker 1: and that was just four months before her mother's divorce 94 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: was granted. The British press saw the wedding and the 95 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: same light as the marriage between Prince Harry and Magan 96 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,279 Speaker 1: markle One hundred and twenty years later. Now, on the 97 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: upside for women, Alva's determination to escape an unhappy marriage 98 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: without being financially and socially destroyed did begin to help 99 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: get rid of the stigma of divorce. On the downside, 100 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: she had used her daughter to save her own social standing, 101 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: and she actually married another extremely wealthy man, Oliver Belmont, 102 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: a Newport neighbor, less than a year later. Interestingly, thanks 103 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: to Alva's successful divorce, a number of other rich women 104 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: felt safe to file for divorce as well, although it 105 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: was a while before women with less financial means were 106 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: able to. Later, Alva said, I blaze the trail for 107 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: the rest to walk in. I was the first girl 108 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: of my set to marry a Vanderbilt. Then I was 109 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: the first society woman to ask for a divorce, And 110 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,839 Speaker 1: within a year, ever, so many others had followed my example. 111 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: They had been wanting divorce all the time, but they 112 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,480 Speaker 1: had not dared to do it until I showed them 113 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,840 Speaker 1: the way. Of course, Consuelo's forced marriage was miserable from 114 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: the start, and they divorced in nineteen twenty one after 115 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 1: a very cold twenty five year marriage, but she and 116 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: her mother did eventually reconcile. When Consuelo filed for an 117 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: annulment from the Duke in nineteen twenty six, Alva testified 118 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: on her behalf, admitting she had forced her daughter into 119 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: the marriage, even pretending she was on the verge of 120 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,800 Speaker 1: a heart attack in the days before the wedding to 121 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 1: keep her from leaving the Duke at the altar. After 122 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: her second husband's death in nineteen oh eight, Alva Vanderbilt 123 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: Belmont became a leading suffragette supporting women's rights until her 124 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: death in nineteen thirty three. At her funeral in New 125 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: York City, she had all female pallbearers. I hope you 126 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: like the Backstory with Patty Steele. Please leave a review 127 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: and I would love it if you would subscribe or 128 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: follow for free to get new episodes delivered automatically, and 129 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: feel free to dm me if you have a story 130 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: you'd like me to cover. On Facebook, It's Patty Steele 131 00:07:53,640 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: and on Instagram Real Patty Steele. I'm Patty Steele. The 132 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: Backstories a production of iHeartMedia, Premiere Networks, the Elvis Durant Group, 133 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: and Steel Trap Productions. Our producer is Doug Fraser. Our 134 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 1: writer Jake Kushner. We have new episodes every Tuesday and Friday. 135 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: Feel free to reach out to me with comments and 136 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: even story suggestions on Instagram at real Patty Steele and 137 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: on Facebook at Patty Steele. Thanks for listening to the 138 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: Backstory with Patty Steele, the pieces of history you didn't 139 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: know you needed to know.