WEBVTT - New vs. Old 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:16.520 and the Black Effect. And just like that, we're back 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.920 on the air. Welcome back to you. Another jest fixed 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:22.680 my mess segment with Carefully Reckless. Hey you girl, Jess hilarious. Listen, 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:24.880 we're gonna jump right in. We got some voice memos. 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:28.320 I like it. Keep it coming, y'all. It just so, 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.640 this is gonna be kind of long, but I'm gonna 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:32.800 try to sum it up as quick as I can. 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:36.440 I know you always speak about relationship ship, but I'm 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:39.919 coming to you for advice strictly for getting over a 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:43.320 friendship or multiple friendships that you know, you know, you 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:46.320 grew apart from, or you just don't see eye to 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.040 eye anymore. So long story short, I moved to a 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.040 different city when I was in about fifth grade. In 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:54.080 fifth grade, I met one of my best friends who 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.960 I thought, you know, I would eventually be friends until 0:00:57.000 --> 0:01:00.800 I die with, And then in sixth grade met another one. 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:04.759 In in seventh grade, we all was a trio because 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.399 they had already knew each other previously. I just never 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:09.720 knew that they knew each other. So we made it 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:13.000 strong through middle school and even through half of high 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:16.120 school now, and in high school, I ended up getting 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:18.280 pregnant and I was pulled from public school and I 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:21.679 was placed into private school or online private school. So 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.280 I wasn't there for them as much as I was 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:28.080 supposed to be or I could have been. But just 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:30.399 give you a little background, I'm the friend out of 0:01:30.440 --> 0:01:32.800 the group who don't play no ship. I will smack 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:36.040 a bit about them first and ask questions later, so 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.679 that played a big part. I was like the outspoken 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:41.080 person out of the group. I was the one who 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:43.479 took up for the entire group, not saying that their 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:45.839 soft or anything, but I was just that ongo type 0:01:45.840 --> 0:01:48.640 of bitch. Now with me being going, I couldn't be 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:50.840 there for them as much as I would have liked to, 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:54.920 like I stated already, but one of them, so the 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:58.440 one I met first, she ended up getting the second 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.640 one in to some ship, so she ended up getting 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:05.360 her into some drama with some other girls, and the 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:09.680 other girls jumped her while she was there, and she 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.680 didn't do nothing when this is her beef to begin with. 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.720 You were supposed to do something, not just stand there. 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:20.320 So we instantly stopped being friends with her, and I 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.320 just started being friends with another one the other one. Eventually, 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.680 instead of just me being her friend, she felt so 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.800 desperate that she had to go be friends with somebody 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.480 we didn't already beat up, and we weren't friends with 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.840 at first, and so she just started to be really 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:38.079 distant towards me kind of. And then it's like, I'm 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.240 raised into a household where I'm not close to my 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.520 brothers and sisters, so I really rely on friendships to 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:46.799 get me by, to get me out of this lonely 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.800 place in my life. And she just started to be 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:53.680 like really really fake towards me. And at this point, 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:56.320 I couldn't turn back onto the other friend like I 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.959 wanted to, and I instantly started regretting not being her friend, 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.560 because honestly, with me not even going to the school 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:05.320 or being a part of this beef, I shouldn't have 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:09.040 took anybody's side. Now that I'm older, this happened years ago, 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:11.920 twenty one. Now, this happened when I was maybe seventeen. 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.120 Now that I'm you know, learned a lot. I felt 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.960 like that was in my place to just decide on 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:21.320 what was right and what was wrong and what I 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.200 had to do, because it really had nothing to do 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:26.359 with me. So I ended up being homeless at eighteen, 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:28.960 and I was supposed to go live with the friend 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.720 that I was still friends with, and she literally left 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:35.040 me and my son outside because the girl that I 0:03:35.080 --> 0:03:37.440 wasn't cool with she was in the house at the moment. 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.720 So it's just like, just to sum it up, it's 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:42.720 just a lot of ship, that shady ship that started 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.240 to happen, and I already broke up with the first girl, 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.600 and then the second girl was weird, so I eventually 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:51.880 broke up with her. And now that we're grown, I'm 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:54.800 looking at their lives and they're still doing the same thing. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:57.920 They're still fighting, they're still in drama, they're still pulling 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:01.400 up to bitch's house jumping them and a mama and 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:03.600 I have two kids now. I have a five year 0:04:03.600 --> 0:04:07.280 old and I have a temo throld baby, and I'm 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.160 just at the point in my life where I know 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:12.680 that I cannot be their friends anymore based on where 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:16.000 my life is going. I'm starting a business, I'm saving 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.120 up my money to move out of state because I 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:20.920 hate Michigan so much. But I'm on a different level 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.680 than them, and I know that we can never be friends. 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:27.799 But I hate the feeling of just not being their friends, 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:29.440 and I just don't know how to get over it. 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.240 Like I really truly missed them, even though I know 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:35.359 we could never be how we was. I often find 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.719 myself on their Facebook pages looking at what they've been doing, 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:43.039 looking at how they've been growing. One of them had 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.320 a baby, and like she's still on the same ship. 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.240 So I'm just coming to you to see, like, if 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.680 you can give me any advice on how to move 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.920 on from these friendships, I would gladly appreciate it, just 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:57.560 because it's just a hard part of my life that 0:04:57.600 --> 0:05:00.000 I'm trying to get over. Like I don't find myself 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.280 crying over it or anything, but it's so hard to 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:06.480 not dwell on the past when those were like my 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.720 sisters that I didn't grow up with. Well, actually I 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.640 did grow up with them because I was friends with 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.320 them for so many years, but you know, they weren't 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:18.280 biologically my sisters. But it's just so hard not to 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.520 miss them or not to think about them, and I 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:23.440 just want some type of advice. I haven't reached out 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:25.840 to neither of them, and I really don't think they 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.800 would want to hear from me. Just because of how 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:32.800 I left them hanking. Okay, see your story stops there. Okay, 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:37.279 well listen, it's okay girl. Look, you don't have to 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:41.159 not be their friends. You don't have to. You don't 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:43.479 have to hang out with them all the time either. 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:46.560 There's nothing wrong with that. You love these girls, and 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:49.599 these girls love you. I don't care what y'all been through. Listen. 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.440 You told me something that y'all went through when y'all 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:54.920 were seventeen years old. You're twenty one. That was four 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:58.200 years ago. No, not too long. But you grow every year. 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:00.600 You have two children. Now, you know what you want 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:01.840 to do with your life. You want to move out 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.279 of state. You're starting your own business. All good, you're 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:06.880 taking care of your children. By the way, I hear 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.960 your baby in the back cock baby. But you know 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:11.599 what I'm saying. As long as you know what your 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.880 goals are, it don't matter who your friends are. You 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.400 don't let people drag you down. You don't do that. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.679 Ain't nothing wrong with checking on your friends, get childhood friends, 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.560 your sisters. You know how many girls don't have that 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:26.160 these days? You know how many girls don't have friends 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:27.960 at all. Didn't even grow up with friends that they 0:06:28.040 --> 0:06:30.520 considered sisters. Girl, you know how many fights I've been 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.920 in for other bitches and how many fights other bitches 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.760 been in for me? You know what I'm saying. That's 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.800 the part of growing up. Girl, looks I had a 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:42.560 friend who I stuck my neck out there for. She 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:44.520 didn't know how to fight. All she knew how to 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:47.440 do was talk ship. And we're in the club and 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.719 this girl whooped my ask because I'm the same friend 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.840 that you are, jump out there. But see, you can't 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.919 be there everybody, this big bitch. I just knew I was, 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.200 you know, because I I'm quick with mine. You know, 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:03.240 you know, you know what I'm saying. But she beat 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:08.000 my ass and I didn't leave that friend alone. I 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:10.160 was upset that that bitch stood right there and watched 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:11.960 me get my ass whipping neck like she didn't see 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:13.600 what was going on. She just thought of dancing to 0:07:13.640 --> 0:07:18.160 the beat and ship. But I knew she wasn't a fighter, 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.920 you get what I'm saying. I knew she talked ship. 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.000 So that's when you you don't say, or I ain't 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:29.360 sucking with her no more. No, you realize what she is. Oh, okay, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:31.560 that's the point of her being your friend. Okay, all right, 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:33.960 that's Tiffany. I'm just you know, throwing her name out there. 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:36.840 Oh that's Tiffany. I know sean fight, but I know 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.800 she's gonna talk shit. So I'm I'm I'm gonna keep 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.680 her at arms length because I don't know. One day 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:44.040 we might be out and somebody walk up on this 0:07:44.080 --> 0:07:46.840 bitch and she won't fight. Somebody hit in the back 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:48.120 of head. I'm a fight with her. But if I 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.520 don't want to be attached to that part of my friend, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:54.200 I don't have to. So you have her for different ship. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.400 Oh yeah, we're gonna go to church together on Sunday's bitch. 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.520 Oh no, you can come over my house and we're 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:00.880 gonna chill. Bring your baby over here. We can haven't 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.920 play date. Oh, We're only gonna be in certain facinities 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.480 where ain't no drama gonna be. You have to know 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:11.520 your friends. That's it. You watch them through Facebook, you 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.480 find yourself missing them, you find it's okay, let's because 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:17.520 you had a lot of fun together. Girl, hit them 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:21.960 girls up? Hey, how y'all doing. I was actually pondering 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:24.400 back and forth whether or not I should hit you guys. 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:26.040 I didn't know if I wanted to speak with you. Guys. 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:27.560 I didn't know if you guys wanted to speak with me. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.000 I'm just saying, hey, I see you guys are doing 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.480 better now. Even if they ain't that your sisters uplift 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:37.560 them up, left them ship. That could be your way 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:40.880 of getting them out whatever the funk they got going on. 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:45.200 That message from you can actually make them say, oh, Ship, damn, 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:48.640 she doing good. She hit herself up. You know, you 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.600 might prompt them to want to know more about what 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:53.079 you're doing, and then when they see what you're doing, 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.240 they might want to do the same. Ship. That still 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:57.120 don't mean hang with their asks every day. You don't 0:08:57.160 --> 0:08:59.320 have time to do that. You' twenty one, you on 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.040 your way place this and you've got two babies there 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:05.880 your friends, huh, mama, Ship. You can't hang out with 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.080 your sisters all day if the funk you wanted to, 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.760 because your real friends, the one that was crying in 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.120 the back and that other five year old, Oh they're 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:17.520 gonna be there. Oh no, baby, we first, so they 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:21.800 come later. There's nothing wrong with still having friendships with 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:25.280 people that you feel like aren't on your level. It's fine. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.040 What you have to do is not let them bring 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.760 you down. You can't let them rub off on you. 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:34.120 And you seem pretty headstrong where you ain't gonna let 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:37.160 that happen. You seem that way. You live by yourself. 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:39.720 You got your own plate. You know. You could be 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:44.360 motivation for them. Obviously, they ain't thinking outside of Michigan. 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.200 You are. It ain't your job to take them with you, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:50.240 but ship passed on what you're doing. Just put that 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.319 ship in there. But if you miss him, tell them. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.079 Ain't nothing wrong with that. Dropped that pride because you're one. 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:57.040 I understand. I was twenty one two and I had 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:59.760 a whole bunch of pride. Shit, Ain't nothing wrong with 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:01.520 telling your sisters you miss them, you love them, and 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:03.400 you wish them the best. That could open up a 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.640 whole another can of worms. Listen, they could be missing 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.920 you right now too. You never know. Be that person 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.280 you know, and if you don't want to, you don't 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:15.960 have to. But I would say do that. You don't 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.280 want to take that advice, prey on it. Ask God 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:20.679 to send you new connections, new people that you can 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:23.600 build healthy connections with. Just pray on that. If you 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:25.360 do pray. If you are a Christian or you know 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.920 whatever or whoever you believe in, pray, pray to that 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:33.079 pray and I'm telling you ask God to put meaningful 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:37.360 connections in your life, connections that you can benefit off 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:41.320 of as well as someone else can benefit. Send your 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.440 friends that can strengthen you where you lack, they can 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.000 they can pick it up where you feel weak. That 0:10:47.120 --> 0:10:49.440 friend is gonna be your backbone. You're strong, girl, you 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:52.920 know there's nothing wrong with that. Talk to your SISIs. 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:55.280 Tell them you miss them, your friends, you know, tell 0:10:55.320 --> 0:10:59.160 them you miss them. It's all right, It is okay. 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.760 Check back in, baby girl. If you love me, you'll 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.120 listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:08.959 All right, all right, before I play this next and 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:10.680 I want to let y'all know this is an update, 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:15.120 all right. So look, I've helped this girl three different times, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:17.920 and at this point, this is my client. This is 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:21.880 a regular and she's my client, and we have monthly sessions, 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:27.600 so there with her. Just at this point, I consider 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:31.440 you my home girl from a distance. But basically I 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.719 just wanted to update you on the last situation. I'm 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.680 really just feeling some tea at this point. But basically 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.160 the last situation I was with, I was talking to 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:45.119 this guy that I worked with. He pretty much seemed interested. 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:49.720 You know, he had my number. We texted during work, 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.760 and you know, he seemed like he wanted to go 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.839 further because he said that he wanted to text me, 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.520 but he ended up never texted me. Um, And this 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:03.160 was like, are on the weekend, So I assumed that 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.520 he may have another woman in his life, but like 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:09.680 you said, communication is key and I didn't want to assume, 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.120 so I asked him once I saw him at work 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:17.959 a few days back, this man's told me that it 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:20.800 was not another woman, mind you. A few days go 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.600 by and we ended up coming across each other again 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.720 at work. He's flirting with me. You know, we're talking 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.240 and I'm like joking, saying, like, you know you're doing 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:35.280 all this flirting, but you can't even text me outside 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:39.000 of work, or you know, call me or anything. Why 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:42.839 This man said, uh, you know, it's hard to do 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:45.800 that when I have a living in my mind, I'm 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:48.960 like a living. But I asked him, I'm like, what 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:52.000 is a living? He said, I still live with my 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:59.719 child's mother. Your child's mother living with her. Excuse me, 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:03.000 is what I said in my mind? Mind you. So 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:07.320 he goes on to explain, of course, that they no 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:11.320 longer get along, she's always arguing with him, that he 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:17.400 wants to just like separate from her. YadA YadA, YadA. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.479 I'm taking this all in. I'm not giving no expression, 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:28.359 I'm not saying anything back anything. I'm just like I'm okay, okay, yeah, okay. 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.520 And he just goes on and on and like, saying 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.440 that they've been together for twenty years and he doesn't 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.280 want to leave because of the child, just digging himself 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:40.480 in the deepest hole ever. A couple of days go 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.880 by again, you know, we ended up coming across each 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.800 other again. Really, he kind of followed me. I wasn't 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:50.560 even trying to deal with this man. But why this 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:56.920 man goes on to invite me. We're talking like casually, 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.440 we're not even really, we're not flirting at all. I'm 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:02.520 over at this point, but we're talking casually. We're still 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:06.160 at work, you know, still keeping professional or cordial. But 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:10.080 why this man tells me or asks me, do I 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:16.120 want to go to a Halloween party with him? My nigga, no, 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:18.240 I don't want to go to a hallowbein party with you. 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:22.000 What I said was, though, I'm not doing anything with 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:26.400 you because you have a whole situation. I'm not trying 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.920 to deal with any of that. Do you understand where 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:32.600 I'm coming from. I'm trying to really gauge his understanding 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:38.040 of how messy the situation is. He still is like, 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.720 you know, just saying all this negative stuff about the woman, 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.800 like she argues all the time. I know she doesn't 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:47.640 love me, YadA, YadA, YadA. And then he goes on 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.720 to say when I see you, you brighten my day. 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.440 Whenever I see you, I'm like a kid in a 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:59.720 candy store, just saying on this reckless as it's I'm like, 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.040 oh god, you must be testing me. You must be 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.160 testing me. If it's not a test, I don't know 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:11.040 what is. Because he's handsome, he's tall, he a handy man, 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.320 he has a lot going for himself. I'm not gonna 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:17.840 live but like, no, absolutely not, I'm not. I'm done 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:21.160 with the mess, Jess. I'm done with the mess. Yeah, 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:25.520 I just wanted to update you, like already know cut 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:29.480 that off, already know, Like he's playing games, not keeping 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:33.960 it real, not get himself out of a situation before 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:36.920 jumping into a next like show us this level of 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:43.040 the maturity and just like carelessness. So yes, Jess, I 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:47.680 just want to update you on lis shenanigans that happens 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:53.120 in our everyday lives at this point with these men. Yeah, 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.400 I hope you have a beautiful day. I love you. 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.680 Keep doing what you do. I'm always support you. I'm 0:15:58.680 --> 0:16:00.800 coming to a comedy show here in the d M 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:07.640 Feet on December and yeah, I keep fucking girl. Okay. 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.960 So that's my client, yall. And that's that's my baby. Okay, 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:12.640 I'm about to get in her asks a little bit. 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.760 So y'all know, bead with a girl. You know, damn well, 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:20.640 you know damn well. But you already said you know so. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.640 I ain't gonna beat you up too much. Listen, I'm 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:27.160 gonna be honest with you. Yes, all of this is true. 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:32.120 You brighten up his day. This man is with this woman. 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:35.320 He is they've been together for twenty years. He's not 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.440 going to ever leave her because that's his comfortability, that's 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.640 her comfortability. I bet you any amount of money they 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:45.720 both trying to cheat on each other, if ain't already 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:48.680 doing so. You understand what I'm saying. But they have 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:53.800 so much together, and they've had so much together that 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.920 they don't want to walk away. No, it ain't about 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:59.600 the damn child. Listen, you said twenty years now. If 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.640 they would together for twenty years, all right, if they 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:04.760 had the kids twenty years ago, that kids shouldn't even 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:08.840 be living at the house. That kid is twenty, but 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.240 that might not be the case. All right, let's say 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.760 the kid is younger. Either way, it ain't about the kids. 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:16.680 It's about that twenty years that y'all been together. It's 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.800 about all of the ship that they have shared. It's 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.080 about all the ship that they owned together. They own 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:24.480 that house together. Butter believe that they ain't paying no rent. 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:29.520 They own that ship together twenty years. Please. His car 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.240 probably got her name on and her car probably got 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.760 his name on it. They married without being married. They 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.680 married without the legal contract, They married without the paperwork. Okay, 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:43.800 that's what it was. It's giving Yandy mndcense's that's what not. 0:17:43.800 --> 0:17:46.679 I think they got paperwork now, But no, that's what 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:51.520 that is. That is a life long relationship. And listen, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.480 he's bored. He's bored at times he's tired of her. 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:58.040 At times, he's tired of her, but he also knows 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.040 it ain't really ship out here either. Not saying you 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:04.920 ain't ship baby, It ain't really ship out here. So 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:06.920 he probably liked to go off and have his fund 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.840 every now and then, just something to hold him over 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:13.119 until he misses her again. But you better believe is 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:16.240 still some type of goddamn love there. It is. It 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.719 is love and respect of some sort, because that nigga 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:23.880 turns his phone off or blocks you on the weekends 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.000 to be with her, you know what I'm saying, to 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:30.359 be with his family. Now. Even with that being said, 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:33.000 you're saying he's talking all his reckless ship. You said that, 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.239 he said, Oh you're brightened my day. You're beautiful, and 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:38.080 I get butterflies, and I see you in all that 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:41.760 ship that may not necessarily be alive. That may be true. 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:45.359 You're a young brother of fresh air, youthful. You got 0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:49.960 all your teeth, probably a nice, pretty beautiful complexion, all 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:53.080 of that. He's older. You said, he's hands and he 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:55.639 got things going forward south. He's a handy man. He 0:18:55.760 --> 0:19:00.639 just gotta live in sir, goodbye, good guy. Damn by 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.240 calling her living you with this woman, and I can't 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.960 stand with a man do that ship. I can't stand 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.800 when a man lives with a woman who has his 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:12.600 children and you come and you talk to outsiders about me, 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.880 as if we ain't together, as if you ain't hitting 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.080 this at night, as if you don't wake up next 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:20.439 to me, as if you don't block these girls, and 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.520 as if you don't lock yourself in the house with 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:27.119 me every fucking weekend and we have our time. You're 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:31.280 sitting here, going back painting the worst picture possible to 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:34.359 get these women a funk with you, when really they 0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:37.200 should be looking at your ass like you fucking lost 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:40.000 your mind, Because why you're still there? If all of 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:42.000 this is bad? I know she don't love me no more? 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:43.560 All right now? Why you don't talk to me on 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:48.280 the weekend? The fuck stop playing with me? No, he's 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.440 looking for, you know, little temporary side bitches head there 0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:53.160 that he can go ahead of his fun with when 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.280 he's outside the home, because he's been with the same 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:57.760 person for twenty years. That's how that ship goes sometimes. 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:00.880 But he's not leaving her. You ain't about the funk 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.040 with him. I don't care what you're saying you ain't 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:05.680 about the funk with him. Yeah, he hands him. Yeah, 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:07.760 he can light up when you see you. Every fucking 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:11.159 time your light light light up. I don't care. You 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:13.760 can turn into a goddamn Christmas tree every time you 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:16.840 see me. Sir, we're not fucking around, We're not doing nothing. 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:22.000 We're not about to be together. No, we're not Halloween party, myas. 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.400 That's because it was on a Monday. If the Halloween 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:26.680 party was on a Saturday, he wouldn't invited you because 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.680 he would be with the living, calling her a living. Sorry, 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:32.320 you need a therapist. You don't need a little younger, 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.560 You don't need a girlfriend and to live in. You 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:38.600 need a therapist to help you find that spark with 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:42.320 your living again. You need somebody to help you or 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:44.719 you need to move the funk out, wake up and 0:20:44.720 --> 0:20:46.840 realize that ain't where you want to be. But he's 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:51.240 too old to not realize that, So that's what I'm saying. No, 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:55.040 he may not be happy with this woman, but he 0:20:55.119 --> 0:20:57.440 loves her and they are working it out in their 0:20:57.440 --> 0:20:59.800 own little way. Because girl hand leaving that woman. They're 0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:03.520 both too comfortable with each other. So you check back 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:05.960 in with me. Bring me some more men so I 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:08.520 can fix it. I ain't gonna keep playing with you girl. 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:11.040 That's my girl, though, that is my girl. I can't 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.920 the nerve of these man. I'm telling y'all, I'm telling y'all, well, look, 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.760