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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive. My fiance called

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Speaker 1: off our wedding because of our financial differences. It's just

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Speaker 1: too expensive, too expensive these days. By the way, this

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Speaker 1: comes from the r sash okay starting Time subbred were

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Speaker 1: my own, so I will be using fake names just

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Speaker 1: for privacy. Also, Kara with a CE is on Reddit

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Speaker 1: and I have her permission to share the story just

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Speaker 1: to make sure that I can seal their identities. Last October,

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Speaker 1: my husband Luke thirty five male and I thirty four female,

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Speaker 1: got invited to an engagement dinner party of his besty

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Speaker 1: fiance Kara thirty two female and her fiance Steven thirty

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Speaker 1: four male. By the way, this comes from Hikari Sakura

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash okay storytime subreddits like this one

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Speaker 1: is from It's one of our very own. For context,

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Speaker 1: my husband and Kara are best friends and they both

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Speaker 1: work as er nurses for eight years now in the

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Speaker 1: same hospital. Steven, he's an EMT and is currently going

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Speaker 1: to nursing school in twenty twenty, during the peak of

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Speaker 1: the pandemic, and they started dating just a few months

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Speaker 1: after meeting. We're very happy for both of them, and

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Speaker 1: we both think she finally found someone who matches her quirky,

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Speaker 1: in fun attitude. We even helped Stephen play in the

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Speaker 1: proposal during a camping trip. We both helped organize, as

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable as I am to discuss this. This will be

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Speaker 1: important to address. Kara has her own apartment now, but

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Speaker 1: she remains really close to her family, who live in

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Speaker 1: a very affluent Newport Beach neighborhood. oOoOO Vetti fancy. Her

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Speaker 1: mom is a nurse practitioner and her dad is a

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Speaker 1: cosmetic surgeon. Her older twin sisters are corporate lawyers. Dude,

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Speaker 1: twin sister corporate lawyers? Crazy?

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Speaker 2: Do they work together? That would be why, thank Johnson

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Speaker 2: and Johnson. We're not the same person, We're different. What're

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Speaker 2: different for you, twin sister?

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Speaker 1: Corporate lawyers sounds like a TV show, a fake TV

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Speaker 1: show inside of a real TV show.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, ye yes.

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Speaker 1: Kara herself will be enrolling in the nurse practitioner program

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Speaker 1: and we even spoke about probably doing it together in

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Speaker 1: the future when I graduate from nursing this year. Needless

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Speaker 1: to say, Kara came from a family of high achievers

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Speaker 1: and money, but despite all of that, she and her

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Speaker 1: family remain humble and down the earth. These details are

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Speaker 1: important to note. Steven, on the other hand, grew up

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Speaker 1: with six other siblings and a single mother who had

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Speaker 1: to work multiple jobs to get by and had to

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Speaker 1: take a student loan for education, like the most of us,

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Speaker 1: unlike Kara, who graduated without any student loan and got

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Speaker 1: gifted with a luxury car as a graduation gift. Very

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Speaker 1: She's got that money, big sch money. Let me be clear,

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Speaker 1: there is nothing wrong with how Stephen lived, as he

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Speaker 1: is like most of us. Also nothing wrong with how

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Speaker 1: Kara grew up. They are both kind people, and I

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Speaker 1: thought that they would make a very good couple. You

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Speaker 1: thought wrong, but I caught that opie. Going back to

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Speaker 1: the engagement party that was held at Kara's family home,

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Speaker 1: everyone was so happy to see them together. Steven's family

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Speaker 1: came by and they met Kara's family, who treated them

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Speaker 1: like they were family already. Kara's mom and I are

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Speaker 1: both introverts, so we went ahead and sat by the

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Speaker 1: pool where we spoke about life. They attended my own

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Speaker 1: wedding years ago, and how happy we are that her

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Speaker 1: daughter is finally setting down with the man who they

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Speaker 1: think will love her dearly and sincerely.

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Speaker 2: I do want to say I was really worried that

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Speaker 2: this was going to be about Opee, like someone leaving Opee. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because it's one of our own. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: oh no, but it's not. I mean, obviously still about

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Speaker 2: someone you care about, but yes, at least it's not.

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Speaker 1: We're glad your relationship is safe. Ope, And just like that,

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Speaker 1: the wedding planning began. Save the date was June twenty

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Speaker 1: eighth birthday. Wait, that's this month, that's this month, that's

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Speaker 1: this month. It hasn't even happened.

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Speaker 2: It hasn't even happened yet. It's one day before my body.

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Speaker 1: We are talking about the future day pre sophia birthday.

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Speaker 1: Future that is now. Fast forward to last Saturday, when

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Speaker 1: Luke received a phone call from Kara. Whilst crying, she

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Speaker 1: who's Luke? Again?

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Speaker 2: That's a good question, yes, in one I don't know

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Speaker 2: the answer to.

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Speaker 1: Let's use this Who's Luke? I have a feeling like

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Speaker 1: This might have been the first time he was mentioned

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Speaker 1: and just like plopped in there. Oh, Luke is a

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Speaker 1: husband of the narrator in the story, who is the

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Speaker 1: thirty five year one.

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Speaker 2: Okay, they're out killing it, dingus.

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Speaker 1: I think that's the first time I've seen it work.

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Speaker 1: Let's I've seen it work a couple of times. There

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Speaker 1: we go. But I'm proud of it. Nonetheless, that was

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Speaker 1: so helpful, shout out Dingaspot. She asked if she could

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Speaker 1: come to our home and talk to us Luke. Opie's

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Speaker 1: husband is on medical leave after an appendectomy, so they

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Speaker 1: haven't seen each other in a week. I heard her

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Speaker 1: distressed voice, so I asked if she wanted me to

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Speaker 1: pick her up from her apartment, and she said okay.

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Speaker 1: I drove over to her apartment and saw her with

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Speaker 1: her hair all unkempt and her face was swollen from

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Speaker 1: I'm crying. She immediately hugged me and cried all over again. No,

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Speaker 1: I have a sense something might be wrong. I sat

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Speaker 1: her down on the couch and grabbed a glass of

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Speaker 1: water for her to drink. As soon as she calmed

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Speaker 1: down a little bit, she started telling me that no

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Speaker 1: wedding was going to happen. I was shocked and asked

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Speaker 1: what happened, and she said, she just wants to have

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Speaker 1: someone to talk to. So I told her that she

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Speaker 1: can stay in our spare room for as long as

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Speaker 1: she wants. Can't leave Luke, who's recovering from surgery, so

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Speaker 1: she has to move in with us, and she said okay.

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Speaker 1: I helped pack up some of her clothes and necessities,

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Speaker 1: and I drove her to our home and had her

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Speaker 1: settle in our guest room. There. She told us she

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Speaker 1: needed to sleep first and she'll eventually talk to us.

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Speaker 1: We didn't force her, but we did tell her that

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Speaker 1: she can talk to us at any time she's ready,

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Speaker 1: and she thanked us. She slept for a few hours,

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Speaker 1: and Luke and I were concerned. I mean I would

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Speaker 1: be too. It's like, hey, I'm canceling the wedding. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to live here. And so she's just like

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Speaker 1: at your place now, just like sleeping, sleeping, And of

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Speaker 1: course it's like, you know, if she's distressed, like hey,

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Speaker 1: take your time, But I'd be like, man, what what

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Speaker 1: is going on? Like I'd be talking to my partner

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Speaker 1: like yeah, But we let her restaurant now as she

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Speaker 1: looked like she needed it badly. We tried calling Steven,

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Speaker 1: but he wasn't picking up, and we were getting concerned

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Speaker 1: if he was okay or whatever. When she woke up,

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Speaker 1: I offered her some toiletries so she could shower and

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Speaker 1: freshen up. I also ordered her favorite food so we

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Speaker 1: could all eat together. Op Opi is Opie's thinking ten

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Speaker 1: steps ten steps ahead, clutch friend and obviously obviously part

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Speaker 1: of the community. We already we already knew Opi was

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Speaker 1: going to be amazing. True, it was after we ate

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Speaker 1: when she told us what happened. Stephen and Kara did

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Speaker 1: break up and the wedding got canceled. Oof. She told

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Speaker 1: us that ever since the engagement party, Steven had been

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Speaker 1: acting very insecure towards her family, but she never spoke

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Speaker 1: about it to anyone, thinking it would just drive him

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Speaker 1: further away.

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Speaker 2: And she's comes from a really wealthy family and he

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Speaker 2: does not. Right, It's the that's it's super tough, because

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Speaker 2: in either direction, money can be very divisive. Yeah, because

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Speaker 2: like you know, you can have families who are very

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Speaker 2: rich and look down upon a person who is, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, lower income background. But then on the other

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Speaker 2: side you have like people that can never get over

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Speaker 2: that kind of not necessarily jealousy, but like other ring

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Speaker 2: they're like I am never gonna be that. I never

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Speaker 2: had that, Yeah, like I can never understand you life.

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Speaker 1: It could also be the classic like male like, oh

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Speaker 1: I'm not the they're like wealthier than me, I'm not

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Speaker 1: like that inadequacy, big family, breadwinner, whatever, and then that

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Speaker 1: insecurity just drives them to be yeah dumbos. Plus, the

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Speaker 1: stress of the wedding planning was also overwhelming her. Her

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Speaker 1: family offered to pay for all of the wedding expenses,

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Speaker 1: but she said she didn't want them to take full

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Speaker 1: financial responsibility, so they settled that her parents and siblings

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Speaker 1: would pay fifty percent of the expenses, while Kara and

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Speaker 1: Steven would take care of the other half. Apparently, this

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Speaker 1: made Stephen feel awful and said that she made him

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Speaker 1: feel inadequate. Right, exactly what I said, Like he can't

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Speaker 1: provide her with the wedding she wanted. When asked how

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Speaker 1: she could make it right, he just said nothing could

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Speaker 1: be done anymore because it's already a fact that he

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Speaker 1: grew up in poverty while she came from money.

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Speaker 2: He said that he said that, dude, like, why are

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Speaker 2: you letting your pride and your you're I don't know,

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Speaker 2: jealousy get in the way of this clearly good relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, also, you got a wedding for half off my guys.

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Speaker 2: Why I really don't understand. I understand why people don't

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Speaker 2: want to take handouts and stuff, but like, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: like you're really letting. You're allowed to say, hey, like

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Speaker 2: I don't want to fully take all of this, like

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Speaker 2: you can you can say no, don't break up over it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, maybe maybe your maybe your thing is, hey,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel super comfortable accepting that much money. Let's

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Speaker 2: have maybe like let's have a smaller wedding.

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Speaker 1: Yeah's and then you work.

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Speaker 2: At a compromise. Maybe it's like her saying, you know what,

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Speaker 2: like I would love to have some of my family

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Speaker 2: members come and you know where they're willing to chip

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Speaker 2: in to like have that. Yeah, like compromise. It doesn't

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Speaker 2: have to be the end. But he's so like he's

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Speaker 2: got all this like machismo, yeah, attitude about like oh.

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Speaker 1: I have to be the man er and you know

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Speaker 1: what too, He's probably like I can't downsize the wedding

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Speaker 1: because she grew up in all this crazy stuff and

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Speaker 1: now she has to have like the biggest thing ever.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I feel at least I don't know what

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Speaker 1: it is about weddings where people are like, oh, there's

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Speaker 1: no middle ground. This has to be the way it is.

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Speaker 1: We read a story recently where they were hosting their

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Speaker 1: their wedding in Dubai and had they're like, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is the quote unquote you know, mandatory hotel to stay

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Speaker 1: at and it was like four grand and the parents

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Speaker 1: were like, hey, we can't make it so like, oh,

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Speaker 1: the parents aren't coming to the wedding. It's like, dude,

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Speaker 1: let them stay in a different hotel. Literally literally, if

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Speaker 1: you had just done that, I mean forget even moving locations,

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Speaker 1: which also could have been smart. Just let them stay

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Speaker 1: at a cheap hotel they can afford, and boom, they

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Speaker 1: can come to the wedding and it's not an issue. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, he literally could have just talked to her. He's

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Speaker 2: just assuming. He's assuming that she wants the wedding exactly

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Speaker 2: this way and is not willing to compromise without asking.

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Speaker 1: Not cool, dude. Yeah. Kara's dad also politely offered to

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Speaker 1: pay off his nursing tuition and the loans he made

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Speaker 1: since he's already part of the family and he wants

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Speaker 1: them to start their married life with less stress. But

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Speaker 1: he nicely declined, saying that since he's working, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: an issue, which is fine, I know, yeah, yeah, totally,

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Speaker 1: But while the whole conversation was polite, it made Steven

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Speaker 1: feel like he was useless.

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Speaker 2: That's like a therapy thing, yes, unless they are actually

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Speaker 2: being rude saying like, oh, like we look down at

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Speaker 2: you because you have this background and because you make

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Speaker 2: less money. Yeah, then you are creating these problems in

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Speaker 2: your mind, which obviously maybe you have like some you

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Speaker 2: know upbringing that like has created these mental issues. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: problems that you're creating a run, But that's what therapies were, Yes,

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Speaker 2: don't put that on your partner.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, maybe again maybe the upbringing kind of was

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Speaker 1: kind of what grew some of these problems, but it

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Speaker 1: is our which is, you know, you didn't ask to

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Speaker 1: grow up the way he did, but it is ultimately

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Speaker 1: our responsibility to work on those things. So many other

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Speaker 1: stories to mention, but it all ended with Stephen becoming

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Speaker 1: more and more insecure to a point that he started

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Speaker 1: developing resentment towards Kara and her family. It also didn't

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Speaker 1: help that Stephen's coworkers were teasing him during their party

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Speaker 1: that he's so lucky that he found his ultimate meal

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Speaker 1: ticket with Kara's family, that he won't have to worry

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Speaker 1: about anything once the marriage contract is filed.

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Speaker 2: Which then you realize, Oh, these people around me who

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Speaker 2: are saying this are not my friends. Yes, they are

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Speaker 2: making fun of me. Yeah, they are not people I

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Speaker 2: want to have in my life anymore. Not like, oh, they're.

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Speaker 1: Right, I have to leave Kara. Yeah? Right. Do you

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Speaker 1: wanna keep the friends who are like belittaling you and

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Speaker 1: making jokes about your life? Or do you want to

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Speaker 1: stay with the woman you decided to spend your life with. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're marrying your stupid friends. Yep. They kept telling him

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Speaker 1: that he's such a lucky guy with a rags to

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Speaker 1: richest story. Wow, his friend sucks. Come on man. From

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Speaker 1: Kara's side of the story, all these engagement and wedding

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Speaker 1: plan events made Steven spiral down into a deep depression,

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Speaker 1: basically being mentally dragged down by his own insecurities. I

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Speaker 1: felt so bad for Kara and her family, who really

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Speaker 1: didn't look down on him and his family in any way,

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Speaker 1: but also felt horrible for Steven because in a way,

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Speaker 1: I do understand how he felt. The final straw was

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Speaker 1: the night before Stephen came over to her apartment and

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Speaker 1: they started discussing their honeymoon. Stephen said that he couldn't

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Speaker 1: afford to pay his share of the honeymoon expenses just

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Speaker 1: yet because he had to help his family financially right now.

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Speaker 1: She responded by saying that she could pay for it

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Speaker 1: now and he could pay her once he's capable of

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Speaker 1: doing so. Stephen apparently just went silent, went to the

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Speaker 1: bathroom for a few minutes, and told her that he

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Speaker 1: couldn't marry her and that she should date someone who

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Speaker 1: was rich as well.

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Speaker 2: Literally could have just had a conversation with her and said, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I don't feel super comfortable with people, you know, not

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Speaker 2: in art like that? Are not you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Paying for everything? I want to feel a sense of independence,

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Speaker 2: and so instead of you know, paying for this super

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Speaker 2: expensive thing, could we instead pay for something a little

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Speaker 2: bit more manageable. Yeah, like that? He could have said

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Speaker 2: that that would have been fine. Yeah, Like she is

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Speaker 2: operating from the perspective of like, it's just money, you know,

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Speaker 2: I love you? Who what you know? What's the problem?

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Speaker 2: And he's operating from the perspective of like, I did

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Speaker 2: not grow up but with a lot. I've had to

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Speaker 2: work to get where I am, and it means a

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Speaker 2: lot when someone offers to pay something like that is

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Speaker 2: a big deal. Yeah, both are fine perspectives. Both take

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Speaker 2: a little communication, Yes, which maybe you shouldn't get married

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Speaker 2: if you can't communicate.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean again, at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: if you have such a huge misalignment to the point

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Speaker 1: where someone says, uh, we shouldn't marry each other because

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Speaker 1: you should date someone who's rich. Come on, what are

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Speaker 1: we going to do from there? Hard? Hard to fix.

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Speaker 1: Kara panicked and apologized profusely, but he said that he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to tolerate the facts that people would

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Speaker 1: overlook his own efforts because of Kara's opulence. He said

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Speaker 1: he'd tell his family and friends and she'd be responsible

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Speaker 1: for telling hers and just walk down. She cried all

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Speaker 1: night and hasn't told anyone but us. After hearing her out,

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Speaker 1: she asked to be left alone in the room so

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Speaker 1: she could make the necessary phone calls and emails. Luke

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Speaker 1: and I offered to help in any way we could,

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Speaker 1: but she thanked us, telling us that this is something

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Speaker 1: that she has to do alone. Luke is upset about

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Speaker 1: this and kept trying to call Stephen, but he kept

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Speaker 1: rejecting his Call's been days since this has happened. Kara

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Speaker 1: moved in with her parents for the meantime, and Stephen

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Speaker 1: finally called Luke. The whole conversation went heated. That went

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Speaker 1: so heated that I had to calm Luke down as

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Speaker 1: he was getting upset and started clutching his wound. They

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Speaker 1: stopped talking when Stephen hung up. Luke told me that

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Speaker 1: Stephen did confirm what Kara told us and that he

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Speaker 1: a poor chud his words, not mine, doesn't deserve someone

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Speaker 1: like Kara. He called Stephen a coward and an a hole,

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Speaker 1: and then the call ended. The cancelation emails have been

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Speaker 1: sent to everyone invited and the reservations made, and Kara

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Speaker 1: will be going to the Kawhi honeymoon with her family instead.

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Speaker 1: Blessed them for being so supportive during these dark times.

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Speaker 1: They won't be getting their full refund of the deposits

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Speaker 1: on the canceled services. That's oh man, the canceled weddings.

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Speaker 1: It's just like it's so expensive and then you you know,

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Speaker 1: only get a portion if that sometimes, and.

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Speaker 2: It seems like this is probably for it if it's

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Speaker 2: you now, you know this is probably pretty recent.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Yes, the wedding was going to be the day

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Speaker 1: before your birthday, the day before my birthday. Kara's family

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Speaker 1: didn't care, and they just want to get over it.

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Speaker 1: Her wedding dress is already paid for, so she plans

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Speaker 1: on donating it to another bride who can't afford to

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Speaker 1: buy a dress that's really lovely. I like that.

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Speaker 2: That's you know, I think that's another point. Knowing that

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Speaker 2: she is really not you know, she knows she has

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Speaker 2: a lot of money, yes, and she knows that she

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Speaker 2: has a responsibility.

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Speaker 1: Yes. Because of that, it can be done. I think

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Speaker 1: Kara's family is an example of it being done well

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Speaker 1: again again, like the dad saw he was stressed the loans.

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Speaker 1: He's like, hey, if you want, I would love to

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Speaker 1: pay it off. And then Stephen polightly declined, and it

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Speaker 1: seemed he told was like, oh yeah, no, no problem.

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Speaker 2: No, I've had I've known a lot, Like you know,

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Speaker 2: some people get close friends or family friends who are

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Speaker 2: like very wealthy, and some have been like very generous, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like lovely, people like you wouldn't even know you know

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Speaker 2: that they have this wealthy. And then you have some

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Speaker 2: people who are like, I have a lot of will

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Speaker 2: and you're gonna know it, and I'm not gonna share

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Speaker 2: any of it, and you know its not these people.

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Speaker 2: It's not and it's not these people. So I'm like,

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Speaker 2: if Steven does not have a you know, anything to

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Speaker 2: stand on.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, if you want to stand on the rock solid

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Speaker 1: foundation of over two thousand episodes of our show by

347
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 1: listening to them, you can go to Spotify, Apple iHeart

348
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 1: and search Okay Storytime and binge your entire catalog to

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Speaker 1: your heart's delight. But ladies and gentlemen, we are almost

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Speaker 1: at the end of the story here. We actually do

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Speaker 1: have a decent chunk left before we finish. I have

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Speaker 1: a question for you. Can I have an answer specifically

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Speaker 1: on Luke's phone call to Steven. What do you think

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Speaker 1: of Luke's approach in talking with Steven.

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Speaker 2: Well, it seems like he was just trying to like

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Speaker 2: talk to him, and then they he learned the what

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Speaker 2: happened yeah, I don't think it was necessarily bad. I think, yeah,

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Speaker 2: probably was kind of the only way he could have

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Speaker 2: talked to Steven because Stephen probably didn't want to meet

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Speaker 2: up with him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I mean like about what was said or

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Speaker 1: like the not the phone call happening again.

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Speaker 2: So much of what was said other than like he

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Speaker 2: got the information and then he said that he was

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Speaker 2: a coward afterwards.

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Speaker 1: That's true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like trying to think.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, because I was like trying to think basically,

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Speaker 1: I was like, was it a little too much to

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Speaker 1: like call him a coward in a hole?

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Speaker 2: I don't know if he said that too Well, he

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Speaker 2: might have.

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Speaker 1: I think he said I think he said that to

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Speaker 1: Stephen on the phone.

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Speaker 2: I know that he called him a coward and a

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Speaker 2: hole to Ope.

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Speaker 1: He called Stephen Luke told me that Steven did confirm. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe he did. He might have. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: a good chance that he did, confusing whether it was

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Speaker 1: on the call or when he was telling Opie about

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Speaker 1: the call and saying yeah, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean sure, maybe not like the best way to go

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Speaker 2: about it. But also if he did do that, but

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Speaker 2: also I totally understand he's probably feeling very protective.

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Speaker 1: About that, very frustrated.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, frustrated about like this man who's thrown away great

387
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Speaker 2: stuff is life?

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Speaker 1: Yes, a great relationship. Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: There is a comment from Renie I would could throw

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Speaker 2: up a little bit. Renie says, I really don't think

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Speaker 2: this is ego. I think this is growing up poor

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Speaker 2: and not being able to handle people, being flipped about money,

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Speaker 2: working so hard to pull himself out and no one

394
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Speaker 2: recognizing it. I think that is an explanation for But

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Speaker 2: I do think it is ego and pride. I think

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Speaker 2: that when you've had to work yourself up, you have

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Speaker 2: this pride in how much effort you've done, you put

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Speaker 2: in to get money and have like a stable life

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Speaker 2: that you don't want to accept any hands outs, and

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Speaker 2: you become very independent. It's very much like on a

401
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Speaker 2: broader scale, it's very much like the American mindset of

402
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Speaker 2: like independence, I don't want no hand like, I don't

403
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Speaker 2: want to government handouts, whereas you see other cultures where

404
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Speaker 2: like familial government a lot more involved. Yeah, and on

405
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Speaker 2: a micro scale, that's what Steven's doing. He's like, I

406
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Speaker 2: had to work so hard for this, I can't believe

407
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Speaker 2: that they would insult me, insult my pride, to even

408
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Speaker 2: say that they would just like pay for all of this,

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Speaker 2: as if my money doesn't matter, as if my hard

410
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Speaker 2: work doesn't matter, which is not what they're saying, but

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Speaker 2: is what he's hearing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like the bottom line is he's that is

413
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Speaker 1: coming out in a very very negative fashion in the relationship. Yeah,

414
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Speaker 1: where he's you know, bringing all this negativity to and

415
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Speaker 1: then ultimately calling off the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which, like definition is ego. He's thinking about himself, Yes,

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Speaker 2: and you know how it affects He's placing his own

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Speaker 2: meaning on the actions of others.

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Speaker 1: Yes, this is true, and we have a little bit

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Speaker 1: left of the story. Let's dive in. Luke said she's

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Speaker 1: taking an indefinite leave and their supervisor, who is supposed

422
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Speaker 1: to officiate the wedding, helped her with that. Kara asked

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00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,920
Speaker 1: us if we could come as well. So now we're

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00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: making arrangements to make that happen, since we could use

425
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 1: some time to relax too and be there for her

426
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Speaker 1: as she has been with us when we needed her.

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Speaker 1: I just wish that both Kara and Stephen will find

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Speaker 1: love and peace. The whole event is the definition of

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Speaker 1: sometimes love just ain't enough and it's so sad to

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Speaker 1: think about. We do have some relevant comments, one from

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Speaker 1: Chloe Roses it is sad some guys would like their

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Speaker 1: future father in law to pay for expenses like their

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Speaker 1: school debt and others apparently not. The only odd thing

434
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,719
Speaker 1: to me is traditionally the parents of the bride are

435
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,160
Speaker 1: supposed to pay for the wedding and the bride and

436
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 1: the groom and the honeymoon. So this fifty to fifty

437
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 1: thing with parents for wedding expenses seems silly given their means. Dude, like,

438
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: let her parents give her a nice wedding, focus on

439
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: paying for the ring and honeymoon. No shame in that.

440
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 1: I think Stephen is struggling with the question why does

441
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 1: this amazing woman want me in her life? He clearly

442
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: doesn't feel good enough for her. I think it's just

443
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 1: sad he threw it away. Well, it was better for

444
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 1: him to do it now then wait and get married,

445
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: only to divorce her in a few years time. Hope

446
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 1: Kara and he find their perfect matches and wish both

447
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 1: of them the best. Yeah again, Like, I think it's

448
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,919
Speaker 1: okay for for him to for Stephen to feel like

449
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 1: a man like I feel bad about not being able

450
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: to like provide in a way or give you this gift.

451
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 1: He's like, maybe he's like, you know, I can see

452
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: where it's like, hey, this is a gift I would

453
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: like to give you. But again, he goes down the

454
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 1: rabbit hole of the ego and the insecurity and then

455
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 1: he brings all of that negativity into the relationship without

456
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 1: stopping to say, well, wait a second, maybe this is

457
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: you know, my own like spiraling of of what I

458
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 1: feel about these things, and maybe there is a way

459
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: to you know, talk about it, yea and figure it out.

460
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:02,120
Speaker 1: Because again, I personally don't think I would totally understand

461
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 1: if he's like, hey, I just got to say it

462
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 1: like I am like sad, I feel like defeated. Maybe

463
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: like I could, I could totally understand that perspective if

464
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: he felt that way. And there's I think in expressing

465
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 1: that there's room to work together for them to be

466
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 1: able to have a successful relationship.

467
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: Agreed. I mean, like, I've been in situations where like

468
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 2: I'm hanging out or you know, talking to people who

469
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 2: have a lot more money than me or grew up

470
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 2: with a lot more money, and there is like a

471
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,959
Speaker 2: can be a cognitive dissonance in how you spend money,

472
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: and it can make get a little bit frustrating to

473
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: talk to people when they're like, oh, well, just you know,

474
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: just buy that. Well I don't know, you just do this,

475
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, no, yeah, because I have a

476
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 2: different relationship to money than this, And I can totally

477
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,679
Speaker 2: understand where Steven's coming from to try and have conversations

478
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,879
Speaker 2: with his wife or a fiance and then her being like,

479
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 2: well you just you just buy it and he's like no,

480
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: But that does not mean that you can't compromise and

481
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: have conversations and reach like an agreement that you know

482
00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 2: is not just ending the relationship.

483
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: And that's a good point to bring up because it

484
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: seems just reading in between the lines, they never fully

485
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 1: got the understanding of each other's perspective, where it's like

486
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: the family kind of kept offering in a nice way,

487
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: it seems, but maybe they never got the connection of like, oh, hey,

488
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 1: maybe this is you know, because our perceptions, oh, just

489
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 1: pay for it, it's fine, like like the wedding dress

490
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: and everything. They're like, oh, we don't care about the money.

491
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,679
Speaker 1: We just want you to feel better, right, which is

492
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: great in many ways, but again to Steven's perspective, it's like,

493
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: well that no, like exactly.

494
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 2: And I I understand.

495
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 1: Yes, but again it can't come to this.

496
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 2: No, you had the conversation and you still didn't listen. Yes,

497
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 2: different story.

498
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:57,639
Speaker 1: Totally different.

499
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: That's not what happened here.

500
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: But we're in this story.

501
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: Story and he didn't communicate at all.

502
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: And we have a comment number two from Rosalie eighty

503
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: three and this is just another example of toxic masculinity.

504
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: Instead of working on his own insecurities about their different

505
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 1: financial upbringings, he made it her faults. But look at

506
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: the friends he surrounded himself with, Kara. I know it

507
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: hurts like heck now, but he did you a favor.

508
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: He wasn't strong enough to be your partner. Your family's

509
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: financial advantages shouldn't be a burden to your partner. He

510
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: should have been happy for you, respected it, respecting it

511
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: and them, and working hard in his own chosen career,

512
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: knowing you chose him for him as your equal partner,

513
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: and not what he can provide for you as you

514
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:43,120
Speaker 1: can provide for yourself. Hugs, and that is it. Huggs, hugs.

515
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: That is how we're closing this bad boy out.

516
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, man didn't work out.

517
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I to that last comment. The good

518
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: news here is that they did discover this now and

519
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:02,200
Speaker 1: there's just a clear misalignment. Imagine they had already gotten married, Oh.

520
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 2: My goodness, the financial stuff would have been even more

521
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 2: of a problem. So they probably would have wanted to

522
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: pay for the kids. And then he would have been.

523
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: Like, oh the bad off that shouse. Yeah, so better

524
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: better it happened, you know, sucks that it was right

525
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: before the wedding. You know what, better that way, better

526
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: that happened before the wedding than any any time after,

527
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: anytime after.

528
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 2: Yeah.

529
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: So there we go.

530
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, folks.

531
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 1: That's right.

532
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 2: We're going to get into the next one.

533
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: Let's get it. Hey, it's Sam. We're get back to

534
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 1: the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

535
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 2: I asked my boyfriend's friend to move out. It sent

536
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: our relationships spiraling down. For background, I am a twenty

537
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 2: seven year old woman. My boyfriend, twenty eight male, and

538
00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: I have lived together in our two bedroom house for

539
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: about two years now. We live in a suburb outside a.

540
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,959
Speaker 1: City in the US Niche City Niche.

541
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from throw a Hello Reddit

542
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 2: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

543
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So, oh,

544
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 2: we met about four and a half years ago when

545
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 2: working at the same place and have been together for

546
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 2: coming up on four years. That makes sense because you

547
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: met yep.

548
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,479
Speaker 1: Okay, we met four years ago and we have been

549
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 1: together four years for four years.

550
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: We had planned to get married last summer, four years

551
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 2: after they met, Oh, but I had to cancel it

552
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 2: due to the VID. We both have parents who have

553
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: health conditions and wanted them to attend. We are both

554
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 2: waiting for the vaccine to get more available to have

555
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: our wedding since a wedding wedding is something we both want.

556
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 2: My boyfriend has a friend who I'll call Bill, twenty

557
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 2: eight male. Bill and my boyfriend have been friends since

558
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: childhood and attended school together as children. Bill and my

559
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 2: boyfriend were very close and did many things together. As

560
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 2: I understand it, Bill's family was pretty dysfunctional, so my

561
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 2: boyfriend and his parents late fifties male and female, provided

562
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,919
Speaker 2: a lot of stability for him. Bill didn't go to

563
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 2: college and my boyfriend did, but they remained good friends

564
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 2: as we all live in the same area. The entire

565
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 2: time I've been with my boyfriend, he and Bill have

566
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: been close and I've gotten to no Bill. Before the VID,

567
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,679
Speaker 2: we would often go on double dates with Bill and

568
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,719
Speaker 2: Bill's girlfriend. This will become relevant later later, but Bill's

569
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 2: always had many girlfriends, with the relationships never lasting very long.

570
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 2: My boyfriend is implied to me that this stems from

571
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 2: commitment issues from his childhood. But as someone who isn't

572
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 2: by any means a psychologist, I can't speak to this.

573
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 2: What is commitment issues from his childhood?

574
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 1: Like his parents, Hey son, I'll take you to the

575
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: football game later, and he never came. No football. My

576
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 1: dad has a ah ah. Do you want to go

577
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:38,719
Speaker 1: to a football game?

578
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: Riley?

579
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: My dad, not me. Do you want to play catch?

580
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: Riley?

581
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: I said, I'm good. He took care of me. His dad.

582
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, I'll go ask your dad if he wants

583
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: to go. I've always liked, well, you know what generational trauma,

584
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 2: So maybe you feel the pain of your dad.

585
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: No, my dad was doctor Dufinsmurtz and then he treated

586
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 3: me how doctor Dufinsburgs treats.

587
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying like, maybe you have the memories.

588
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: I played catch with them.

589
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 2: Never I nott, never mind, never mind. I've always liked Bill.

590
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 2: He's friendly, kind and funny. He's always been a great

591
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 2: friend to my boyfriend, and I've gotten to the point

592
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: where I consider him a friend, albeit not as close

593
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: as him and my boyfriend. In May twenty twenty, Bill

594
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 2: lost his job and it was unable to pay his rent.

595
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 2: At the time, he didn't have a partner again, no

596
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: stable girlfriends, and had no family to rely on. My

597
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: boyfriend offered for him to stay with us. He asked

598
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 2: me first, and I said I was happy to help

599
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: Bill out until he got on his feet again, assuming

600
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 2: it was temporary. At this point, Bill has been living

601
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,240
Speaker 2: with us since May, and to put it bluntly, I'm

602
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 2: getting tired of it. In August, he was able to

603
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: find a new job that, while I don't know the

604
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: details of, pays comparably to his last one. In response,

605
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 2: he's helped with tility bills and with the groceries, but

606
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 2: made no move to move out.

607
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: Uh. Oh, we've got Scott Pilgrim.

608
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 2: I haven't seen that movie.

609
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: I have, am I right?

610
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 3: But wait, what's Scott Pilgrim lives with his gay roommate,

611
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 3: and his gay roommate's like, you're gonna have to move

612
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 3: out because he's having dudes over all the time.

613
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 1: That's right now, I remember, I forgot.

614
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: I like Bill and he's a good guest, but I

615
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 2: feel like it's time for him to find his own place.

616
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: Our house is very small, so it feels like I'm

617
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 2: never alone with my boyfriend. It's always me.

618
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and Bill, good old Bill.

619
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 2: This is amplified because we are all in an area

620
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 2: that has a lot of the VID cases, so we're

621
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 2: all working from home and quarantining. For the most part.

622
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 2: I forgot this was during the VID. This accentuates the

623
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: problem tenfold. Yeah, not only are you trying, Oh wow,

624
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: you're stuck with your boyfriend, which you know can put strain,

625
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 2: but you're stuck with your boyfriend.

626
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: And Bill and Bill.

627
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 2: In our county, many things are closed, so it's not

628
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: even like my boyfriend and I couldn't go on a

629
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 2: date alone to a restaurant or something because of the VID.

630
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 2: Around New Year's I brought up to my boyfriend Bill

631
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: finding his own place while Bill wasn't present. Well, my

632
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 2: boyfriend wasn't mad at me. He explained that he feels

633
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 2: like we need to be there for Bill and his

634
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 2: time of need. When I pointed out that Bill has

635
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: a job and is much more financially stable now, my

636
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 2: boyfriend said that Bill would be lonely if he moved

637
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: into an apartment by himself now because of the pandemic.

638
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: That sounds like a Bill problem.

639
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: Furthermore, my boyfriend said that Bill was there for him

640
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 2: when his brother, my boyfriend's brother that is, passed away

641
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: in a tragic accident when they were all teenagers. Because

642
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,479
Speaker 2: of that, he says that he should be there for

643
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: Bill now. That doesn't mean that you get to force

644
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 2: Opete to also have to be there for.

645
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 1: Bill, and that's the thing.

646
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 2: He also said that he considers Bill a brother and

647
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: is happy to do whatever for him. He brought up

648
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: how my sister thirty females stayed with us for a

649
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 2: month in the past when she was trying to get

650
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 2: out of a harmful relationship versus how long Bill's.

651
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: Stayed undefined time.

652
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 2: Undefined time, probably more than a month.

653
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 1: I think it was it a got the job in

654
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: August May to I think it was May to August.

655
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: So far in the story, we've had a couple months.

656
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: We've got a couple months at least.

657
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: Coming out of the talk. I guess I've been confused.

658
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 2: I go back and forth between feeling like I'm being

659
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 2: irrational to want Bill out of our house and feeling

660
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 2: like it's justified. Maybe I'm being too harsh about the

661
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 2: whole situation. I don't know. From our talk. It doesn't

662
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: seem like my boyfriend mine's Bill living with us at all.

663
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: I suppose I don't know where to go from here.

664
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: Should I just let it all be and assume Bill

665
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 2: will move out when he's ready. Should I talk to

666
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 2: my boyfriend again? Should I bring it up with Bill.

667
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 2: I'm considering doing this, but was worried it would be

668
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: inhospitable and not my place, as he's much closer with

669
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: my boyfriend. Anyway, thank you for any advice you can give,

670
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 2: and there are some comments and an update, but do

671
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: you have any advice that you can give?

672
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: Well, just to plus one your brilliant comment from earlier.

673
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: Thanks just because uh Opie's boyfriend wants to you know,

674
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: uh let Bill do whatever? Stay living the place now

675
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 1: that this is also oh PE's living space, he cannot

676
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 1: force and encroach what he wants upon her.

677
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no. And it also seems like OPE was

678
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 2: operating under the idea that this wouldn't happen, you know,

679
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: it wouldn't go on for so long.

680
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it would be a one month or you know,

681
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: not not a indefinite thing. And and also too, you know,

682
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: it also would have been fair if OPI was like, hey,

683
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: happy to have him in, no worries, no problems, and

684
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: then when it happened, she's like, I know I said that,

685
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 1: but the reality of living it, I, you know, and

686
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 1: the the everything shut down. I would honestly like to

687
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: have my space. But det's yeah, also okay.

688
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 2: She's also not saying kick him out right now. She's saying, Hey,

689
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: can we talk to him about starting to make you know,

690
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 2: begin the process of moving out finding a place. Yes,

691
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: make it a point, you know, like that's a very

692
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 2: fair request.

693
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think I think OPI maybe could say

694
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 1: that to the boyfriend's like, hey, listen, if it was

695
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: him and you, I totally get it, totally understand. But

696
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: kelsey Hoff also says, secret lovers, that's what we are.

697
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,919
Speaker 1: Here's the theory. It could be true. It could be true.

698
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: Amy Lens says, I don't think OPI is the a

699
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 2: hole for feeling how she does. And also it was

700
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: hard to find you lodging during the bid, which like

701
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 2: totally fair if you know, he literally can't find anything.

702
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: I don't think he's looking, though, and so I think

703
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: her request is that he starts looking. She's what's saying,

704
00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna kick him out right now, even if he

705
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 2: doesn't have a place. Comment one, your boyfriend isn't being

706
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,719
Speaker 2: fair comparing a single month for your sister with the

707
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 2: eight months of Bill. Oh, that's a lot of Bill.

708
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: That's a whole lot of Bill.

709
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 1: That's a whole lot of Bill.

710
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 2: Hardly on the same scale. If the only reason is

711
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,799
Speaker 2: he'll be lonely, it's not as if you want him

712
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 2: remove from your lives completely or are banning him from visiting.

713
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 2: Does he really have no no other friends or relatives

714
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: to talk to? Does he not have a phone?

715
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: Ope?

716
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 2: He says, right, that's exactly what I thought. And yes,

717
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 2: I'm happy with Bill being in our lives. I just

718
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 2: don't want him literally living with us. As for relatives,

719
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 2: from what I understand Bill's parents were addicts. His mother

720
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 2: passed a few years ago, a boyfriend went to funeral,

721
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,959
Speaker 2: and he's not in contact with his father. He has

722
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 2: a half brother who lives in another state he talks

723
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 2: with occasionally. He considers boyfriend's family his family and lived

724
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 2: with them at various times as a kid, though to

725
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 2: my knowledge there was no formal arrangement. Most holidays he

726
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: comes to boyfriend's parents with us. They have other friends

727
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 2: and a friend group that consists mostly of boyfriend's college friends.

728
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,120
Speaker 2: Pre the VID, they would all go out drinking. I

729
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 2: don't believe he's very close with any of them though,

730
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: just my boyfriend Mom. Two, I get it, having your

731
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 2: girlfriend and best friend living with you during the VID

732
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: is the best of both worlds. It is probably very

733
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 2: comforting to him. But this isn't college. Bill has a job.

734
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 2: It's time for him to go and live as a

735
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 2: couple again. Up with boyfriend again, and also ask Bill

736
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 2: what his timeline might be. Common three says your boyfriend

737
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 2: does not mind Bill living there. His statement about Bill

738
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 2: being lonely says, all you need to know you're in

739
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 2: a trouble or in trouble. Ooh, and finally looking up.

740
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 2: This has been going on since Bill was dating. They

741
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 2: set the scene and it has continued until you realize

742
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,560
Speaker 2: you didn't sign up for a roommate. Bill has been

743
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 2: there almost a year. You need an exact move out date?

744
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 2: Is he paying Bill's Are they split three ways? It

745
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,479
Speaker 2: sounds like you might need an ultimatum. It doesn't sound

746
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 2: like your boyfriend will ask him to leave move out

747
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,240
Speaker 2: date for Bill or leave and there is an update.

748
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I mean I think we could wait. Oh, were

749
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: they saying an ultimatum on like Bill moving out or

750
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: like ultimatum like hey, boyfriend, if you don't make Bill

751
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: get out leaving the relationship.

752
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 2: I don't know, because the way it sent it to

753
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: me was that that could be very well what they're saying. Yeah,

754
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 2: I think also, I mean, a solution that's still dramatic,

755
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: but maybe a step down from that is just moving out.

756
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I feel like there's no I feel like.

757
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: There's a name, you know. I feel like there are

758
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 2: many steps before that that we could take before we

759
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 2: get to.

760
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: That, even just going to the boyfriend and without attaching

761
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,760
Speaker 1: this like ultimate dire consequence or ultimatum in their relationship being.

762
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 2: Like, hey, I'm no longer comfortable with this.

763
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm no longer comfortable with this. I want to go

764
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 1: to Bob and say, hey, let's see I don't know,

765
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: give you like another thirty days or whatever, whatever the

766
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: situation is, right, Let's let's have this plan. Let's go

767
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: tell him so that way there's a clear date. Let's

768
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,760
Speaker 1: do this, yes, and then see what happens.

769
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,800
Speaker 2: And maybe also you can include Bill in that conversation

770
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: and say, hey, guys, I wanted to talk to you,

771
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 2: like I really have loved having you Bill.

772
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: You're great, You're.

773
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 2: Like, this is not a you know, against you were

774
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 2: a friendship or anything. I just you know, didn't sign

775
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: up to have a third room me.

776
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm kind of having that happen right now. It's

777
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 3: like just like new roommate. They like to walk on

778
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 3: all kind of always stays in Christien's room and it's

779
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 3: nice when he's around, but I'd like to know when

780
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 3: he's coming around too, you know.

781
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 2: And sometimes he like goes in your room and like

782
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: sleeps on your bed.

783
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then also like I'll have food and he's

784
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 3: always knows he's trying to have some, and I'm like, dude,

785
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 3: get your own food, make your own food.

786
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 1: It's blondes.

787
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 2: He's so easy.

788
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 1: Blonds are always like that, are everywhere.

789
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an update, though. I took advice from some

790
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,919
Speaker 2: of the commenters and decided I was going to talk

791
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 2: to both my boyfriend and Bill about Bill moving out.

792
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 2: On Tuesday morning, when my boyfriend was out jogging, I

793
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 2: asked Bill when he thought he was going to get

794
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 2: his own.

795
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: Place, This is just good a little let's see.

796
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 2: I try to be casual and not judgmental about it.

797
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 2: Bill responded in stride, apologizing for staying with us for

798
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 2: so long, and saying that he had been looking for

799
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: an apartment. I took this as a good sign. On Wednesday,

800
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 2: my boyfriend smells fishy.

801
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, but I've been looking this whole time.

802
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 3: Cozzie, haven't you got it? Where's the urgency? Pick up

803
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 3: the bill?

804
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 1: Bill.

805
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 2: On Wednesday, my boyfriend had a big presentation at work.

806
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 2: It was virtual. Oh, bring it up with him. On Thursday,

807
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: after dinner, Bill was in his bedroom and my boyfriend

808
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 2: and I were watching TV in the living room. I

809
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: told my boyfriend that I had talked to Bill about

810
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 2: moving out, and it sounded like he'd been planning to

811
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 2: do so soon. I honestly assumed that if he was

812
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,359
Speaker 2: truly planning to move out, he would have already told

813
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 2: my boyfriend, as they're close. Boyfriend was immediately unhappy and

814
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 2: told me that I shouldn't have told Bill that I

815
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,280
Speaker 2: wanted him to move out, which wasn't even what I said,

816
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 2: because it probably made him feel bad. Yeah. Op.

817
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: He literally just.

818
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 2: Said, oh, like, how's the apartment hunt going.

819
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:41,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

820
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 2: I told him that Bill didn't seem fazed by it,

821
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 2: but my boyfriend said that I don't know Bill well

822
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 2: enough to tell he's been living with Bill for eight months.

823
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 2: He then started talking about how Bill's mental health issues

824
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 2: such as depression, anxiety, and living with us was helping

825
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 2: him get over that this is the first I've ever

826
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 2: heard of about any of this, though obviously I don't

827
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 2: know everything about Bill and he could very well have

828
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 2: these issues. I was starting to get upset by this

829
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 2: point and told him that it was too bad if

830
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: Bill had these issues, but they weren't our problem, and

831
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 2: that Bill was still intruding on our home and relationship.

832
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,280
Speaker 2: We started fighting to the point I was nearly crying.

833
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,439
Speaker 2: Sounds like a loud conversation.

834
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that Bill.

835
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 2: This is a small house.

836
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

837
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 2: At this point, Bill came out of his bedroom. Our

838
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 2: house is a one story, so everything is close together.

839
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: You must have heard us. Yeah, you guys were fighting

840
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 2: loudly in the living room and said he was leaving

841
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,279
Speaker 2: if it was causing so much stress. My boyfriend tried

842
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 2: to stop him, but he left in his car, though

843
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 2: all his stuff was still at our place. After that,

844
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 2: my boyfriend and I exchanged a few words, and I

845
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: finally told him that I didn't want to fight that night,

846
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 2: when we were both tired and emotional. I was going

847
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 2: to stay the night of my sister's thirty female. I

848
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: took my laptop for work and a change of clothes

849
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 2: and went to the apartment my sister lives in about

850
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes away with her daughter eight female. Yes, I

851
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 2: know this sounds of hypocritical, but I was only planning

852
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,240
Speaker 2: on staying at my sister's for the night, not months.

853
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 2: I worked online from sisters today. During the day, boyfriend

854
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: did not call me and I did not call him.

855
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:13,280
Speaker 2: When I got out of work at three, I drove

856
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 2: back to my house to try and talk with my boyfriend.

857
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: He wasn't there, and neither was Bill. Oh are they

858
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: I'm detication. This is odd as both work remotely during

859
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 2: the day and usually work until four or five. All

860
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 2: their stuff is still here, so obviously Bill hasn't moved out.

861
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 2: I've tried calling them six to nine. I've tried calling

862
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: both of them and they didn't pick up. I fed

863
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 2: our cat and am just kind of sitting here waiting

864
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: for them to call me back. I don't really know

865
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:50,280
Speaker 2: what to do. On another note, I've gotten several calls

866
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 2: from boyfriend's mother fifty six female during the day. I

867
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: didn't pick up, mainly because I was working and also

868
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 2: I really didn't want to involved in everything that was

869
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,320
Speaker 2: going on. Yeah, a huge read fla that he's seemingly

870
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 2: involved his mother before actually having a conversation with her

871
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 2: to the point where she's calling op.

872
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, mom my girl, was doing these things

873
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 1: like let me hang out with Bill. I like like

874
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: hanging out with Bill, and like I want to like

875
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: live in with us for forever. I want to get

876
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 1: married and have kids with Bill. There mummy mom for reference.

877
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,879
Speaker 2: Boyfriend's mother and I are not particularly close. We talk

878
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 2: on holidays and family get togethers, not really happening now

879
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,200
Speaker 2: because the VID and what she calls our home to

880
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 2: talk to my boyfriend, but not much outside of that.

881
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 2: While she's always been nice to me to my face,

882
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,560
Speaker 2: I know she disapproves of us living together before marriage,

883
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 2: as she's very religious. She has also had disagreements with

884
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 2: my boyfriend about us not going to church frequently, but

885
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 2: these have largely ended due to the VID. Needless to say,

886
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 2: she doesn't really call me regularly, so I think her

887
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 2: calls are probably about this situation, but I honestly have

888
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 2: no clue what she could possibly have to say about it.

889
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 2: I'm also confused as to why my boyfriend with even

890
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 2: involve her, as they aren't really close. He talks to

891
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 2: her regularly, but more out of obligation. I'm not sure

892
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 2: if maybe he or Bill are at her place, I

893
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,720
Speaker 2: don't know. I guess I'm asking for advice. My sister

894
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 2: thinks I should break out with my boyfriend. I'm not sure.

895
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,480
Speaker 2: We planned and built a life together. We have been

896
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 2: planning a wedding. Oh, if it weren't for the VID,

897
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,880
Speaker 2: we'd already been married, which yeah, they said at the

898
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: beginning of the strike.

899
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: It's true. I totally forgot.

900
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: I love him. On the other hand, I feel slighted

901
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 2: and unimportant. It's Valentine's Day weekend and he's not even

902
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:32,920
Speaker 2: here and is off who knows where.

903
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: Spinning it with Bill, spinning on it on Bill.

904
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm just so confused and feel like I don't

905
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: even understand what's going on anymore. How could Bill be

906
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 2: more important than me? I don't get it. Any input

907
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 2: would be appreciated. I feel like I need an outside perspective.

908
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm pretty upset

909
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 2: and emotional and edit, Toad, he's my fiance. You should

910
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: be my husband by now, as we're going to be

911
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 2: married last summer, but the VID we weren't. And there

912
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 2: is a second update, folks, But I want thoughts.

913
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, go ahead, Riley.

914
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 3: We got to test our fiance's integrity with the camera

915
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 3: by setting it up in the house to see what

916
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 3: Bill and him get into.

917
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 2: This is the opposite of all the advice we've ever

918
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 2: given testing cameras, filming.

919
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, it's just uh yeah, testing testing the integrity,

920
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 3: it's just exactly right. Yeah, and cameras, it's seeing the stress.

921
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 3: How much of the stress can the relationship hold on

922
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 3: to with a certain amount of integrity.

923
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:42,479
Speaker 2: I disagree with this point. I do not condone this. John,

924
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: Do you have any advice that's maybe better?

925
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: I think that Ope, he should go to I feel like,

926
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 1: go to the store and buy a camera. Yes, we

927
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: need to explain to boyfriend, like, hey, do you understand

928
00:44:55,800 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: how you like bringing Bill in and kind of like

929
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:06,440
Speaker 1: stone walling me, like wanting to him to not live there.

930
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: It impedes upon like my like you know, freedoms and

931
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 1: the way I want to be able to live and

932
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: like not have to share everything because like he's getting

933
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: mad at her. But it's like, hey, like I've I've

934
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 1: put up with this and this is my space too,

935
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: like it's both of our spaces, and it's like I

936
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,719
Speaker 1: have no say any time I suggest we don't have

937
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: Bill here because that's not what I personally prefer, which

938
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,439
Speaker 1: is fine, you just get mad and shut it down. Yep,

939
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 1: it's all crazy. I think I really need to like

940
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 1: hammer that home and be like and if he doesn't

941
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: see that bad good. Here we go, Here we go,

942
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: Here we go, here we go, here we go round too.

943
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 1: Gay cation.

944
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,200
Speaker 3: Gaycation put a flyer to the gaycation for Bill and Phil,

945
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 3: and you see what they think. And if they start saying, hey,

946
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 3: we're going to be taking a trip to the where

947
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 3: do they go is Baalabista Abista Ebita, Ibita Abita.

948
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: You already know what is the gay caation? Can we cannetnude?

949
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,920
Speaker 3: So basically, John, it's where straight men can go to

950
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 3: abita for a week and and and indulge in uh

951
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 3: with other men. But whatever happens and bet on the

952
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 3: gaycation stays in the gacation. So you can you can

953
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 3: go there. You must submit or be destroyed. Yeah, and

954
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 3: you can't resist there. You must submit that mind to

955
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 3: these men, and you're with these men. But when you

956
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: come back, none of it was gay and it passes

957
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 3: not cheating at all.

958
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: It's not cheating. Okay.

959
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 2: So so wow, this was the argument made in this story.

960
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:37,720
Speaker 3: We know that's the beauty of the gacations, the beauty

961
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 3: of the gay case. So this, whatever happens on the

962
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 3: gay cation stays in the vacation.

963
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: This isn't like like go to a gay bar and

964
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,919
Speaker 1: get a free drink and feel pretty as a boy.

965
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 3: This is yeah that yeah yeah, yeah, and you are

966
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 3: straight there and when you come back.

967
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: Wow, you're not You're not gay at all.

968
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 2: It's the beauty of the cacas.

969
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, but some people get like mind warped and they

970
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 3: stay there forever and they and they're gay forever and

971
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 3: they never come back.

972
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:00,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, because they've been.

973
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 1: Brainwashed, brainwashed.

974
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,760
Speaker 3: Should definitely check out that live stream if you haven't.

975
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:07,719
Speaker 3: Everyone it was. It was phenomenal.

976
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: But there is an update.

977
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 1: Oh hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

978
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

979
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:17,720
Speaker 2: Edit. Just talk to my boyfriend's mother. Apparently my boyfriend

980
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 2: called Thursday night and said he was going up to

981
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 2: their cabin this weekend. It's about an hour away with

982
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: who with bell Oh couldn't get a hold of either

983
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 2: of them, and was calling me to see if I

984
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 2: could because she wanted to remind them of how to

985
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 2: take care of the cabin. I assume they're up there

986
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day weekend.

987
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I have to say Riley's theories looking strong.

988
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: Virus second is looking strong. I have to say looking hard. Right.

989
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 2: The service is sketchy there, so that might be why

990
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 2: I can't get a hold of them either. Edit too, Hi, guys,

991
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 2: this really blew up. Thank you for all your comments

992
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 2: and support. I appreciate it so much. I will try

993
00:47:57,360 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 2: and respond. Still can't get in contact with my my boyfriend.

994
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm planning on going over to my sisters and talking

995
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 2: it over with her. If we still can't get in contact,

996
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 2: we might go up to the cabin.

997
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 1: I don't know.

998
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 2: She doesn't have her daughter this weekend because she's with Rex.

999
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: Edit three, Hi, guys, some of you asked for an update.

1000
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 2: I did not go to the cabin. In the end,

1001
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 2: I left a voicemail to my boyfriend saying that I

1002
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 2: was worried and concerned and do please call me back?

1003
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's been how many days has it been

1004
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: since they've talked? Or he's been there too many? Yeah.

1005
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 2: On the urging of my sister, I told him that

1006
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 2: his mom had told me where he was and that

1007
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 2: I was worried and would come up if I didn't

1008
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,439
Speaker 2: hear back from him. After that, he did get back

1009
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 2: to me finally and we talked briefly. He said he

1010
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 2: just needed to blow off steam and that's why he

1011
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 2: went away. He said he would be back Monday and

1012
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 2: we would talk then. We both have work off for

1013
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 2: President's Day. He apologized for missing Valentine's Day. All you

1014
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 2: all are going to be a preparing for a wedding

1015
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:58,880
Speaker 2: for much longer.

1016
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is looking you, my guy.

1017
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 2: I felt bad, but tried to stay calm because I

1018
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 2: didn't want to cause a scene. He initially said he

1019
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 2: was up there alone, but when I pointed out that

1020
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 2: his mom had said Bill was with him, he agreed

1021
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 2: that Bill was with him. This kind of made me

1022
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 2: feel a little weird, but I don't know. I asked

1023
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 2: if Bill was okay, and he said yes, that he's fine,

1024
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,239
Speaker 2: which is good because after something you guys said, I

1025
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 2: was worried. I'm sorry I didn't respond. Last night, I

1026
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:26,920
Speaker 2: stayed at my sister's with my cat. I saw some

1027
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 2: of you were worried. I would never leave her alone,

1028
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 2: at least not if I knew no one else was

1029
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,520
Speaker 2: home and wanted to get away from everything. Update three,

1030
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 2: I just need to keep going because I really need

1031
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 2: to find out if they went on a gacation. Let's see, Hey, guys, TLDR,

1032
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 2: we decided to break UPO DESP my now ex boyfriend

1033
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 2: came back around noon with Bill. Bill briefly apologized to

1034
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 2: me for everything that had happened, and then went back

1035
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 2: to his room. Boyfriends still calling in this to reduce

1036
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 2: confus and I talked in the living room of our

1037
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 2: house alone without Bill. I started and told him that

1038
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 2: I was sorry for overreacting on Thursday, but that I

1039
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 2: felt by running away and lying to me, he breached

1040
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:15,240
Speaker 2: my trust. I told him that I felt we should

1041
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:18,760
Speaker 2: break up. Boyfriend agreed with me. He apologized for everything

1042
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 2: he did, for missing Valentine's Day, for running away all weekend,

1043
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 2: for everything with Bill. He sounded sincere. He was crying.

1044
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:30,279
Speaker 2: I asked him why he'd reacted the way he did.

1045
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:31,760
Speaker 1: A great question.

1046
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 2: You guys who said he was in a relationship.

1047
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 1: With Bill were right.

1048
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 2: Riley called it from the start, happy bride. You can

1049
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 2: say I told you so.

1050
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 3: I suppose, dude, ain't no way on Valentine's Day you

1051
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 3: go with the person you're with, Okay, to a.

1052
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:52,879
Speaker 1: Cabin in the cabin.

1053
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:56,280
Speaker 2: In the woods on Moose Mountains Day. On Moose Mountain,

1054
00:50:56,560 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 2: according to him, he and Bill fooled around words not

1055
00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:04,200
Speaker 2: mine it as kids, but stopped when boyfriend's brother passed

1056
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 2: away when they were seventeen. He said they were not

1057
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 2: involved since then, but we're just close friends. He said

1058
00:51:10,239 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 2: that things developed after Bill moved back in with us,

1059
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 2: but that it was never his intention and that's not

1060
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 2: why Bill moved in with us. He claims he did

1061
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 2: not have spicy sleep with Bill wow he was living

1062
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,879
Speaker 2: with us, but that they make me feel so much better. Yeah,

1063
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: but that they did things this weekend.

1064
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't believe it. I don't believe it.

1065
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 2: Plus like, well, you know what, I actually do believe

1066
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 2: that they didn't do anything while they were living together,

1067
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 2: because it would have been really hard to get away

1068
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 2: with that when they're all stuck together. What during the

1069
00:51:43,760 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: VID no, where they're all working at home, I mean

1070
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 2: and barely going out.

1071
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: Not that it's impossible, Yeah, harder, harder, but not impossible.

1072
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: But guys, I'm going to the grocery store.

1073
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 2: It all was visual every time.

1074
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:02,520
Speaker 3: Some people are visual learners, Okay, I thought, no visual

1075
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 3: humor Riley, Well.

1076
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: For our video watchers, they might need assistance. There was

1077
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 1: a sound but fu fun to me. So I'm rethinking

1078
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: now all of his behavior before, right, and he was

1079
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 1: so viciously adamantly against Bill moving out that to me

1080
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 1: is like, oh, you were in love with Bill and

1081
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: loved living with Bill and low Ki living with both

1082
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 1: of them at the same like like kind of a

1083
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:33,879
Speaker 1: really f thing where we're like, Hey, I'm I'm gonna

1084
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,480
Speaker 1: get cake and eat it too. I would get my

1085
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 1: cake and eat it too. You're I'm gonna say I

1086
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,440
Speaker 1: think he's in love probably with Bill, right. They have

1087
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: so much shared history in.

1088
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 3: All this time, and it must have been really hard

1089
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 3: not to like admit, yes.

1090
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: And he's with It's it's it's just such an FT scenario. Yeah, yeah,

1091
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 1: boyfriend fed up big times.

1092
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's true, though. I doubt they

1093
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 2: could have been hooking up a lot because our place

1094
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 2: was so small and I was usually around. He said

1095
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 2: that when I confronted Bill about moving out, Bill in

1096
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 2: turn confronted him about deciding what he wanted. He said

1097
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 2: he freaked out, that he was confused and scared and

1098
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 2: overreacted and treated me bad. He said he's not gay

1099
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:16,799
Speaker 2: or bye, and insisted that he was straight and that

1100
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 2: was the beauty of the gay cation, and that he

1101
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 2: loved me. It was an emotional conversation. We were both crying.

1102
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 2: By the way, you can cry with us if you

1103
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 2: listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

1104
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeart Radio and search up. Okay, storytime.

1105
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: What Uh?

1106
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 2: Oh man, you're so far in the closet.

1107
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, ah, boyfriend needs to understand and uh figure out

1108
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: what's going on in here? Am I Am? I wrong?

1109
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 2: No? This is so frustrating. This is so frustrating. In

1110
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 2: the end, I told him that I was gonna move

1111
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 2: out and then he could stay there of like Bill

1112
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 2: will staying too. I'm staying at my sister's now with

1113
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,280
Speaker 2: my kitty, and I'm going to start looking for an apartment.

1114
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:10,040
Speaker 2: I'm doing okay. I'm still struggling and feel pretty horrible

1115
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 2: that I'm starting to realize that it was probably good

1116
00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 2: all this came out before he became my husband. It

1117
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 2: is good that he came out before he became your husband,

1118
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 2: and then you would.

1119
00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 1: Have been the beard. I mean, she kind of already

1120
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 1: was like this.

1121
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 2: This is literally Brooke pack Mountain. They're like, we're not,

1122
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 2: we're not, we're not that we're straight. I love my wife,

1123
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 2: but I can't quit you. Thank you again for all

1124
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 2: your help. I keep saying this, but I truly appreciate it. Folks,

1125
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story.

1126
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: Wow.

1127
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 2: Reney says, well, I truly feel bad for people with

1128
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 2: religious trauma that prevents.

1129
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 1: Them good point, yes, talk about it.

1130
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 2: Prevents them from recognizing who they are imparting that trauma

1131
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:51,319
Speaker 2: on others is never okay. I totally forgot that his

1132
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 2: mom is super religious to the point she's like, I

1133
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 2: don't want you guys living together, even.

1134
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,479
Speaker 1: You're not your go to church church.

1135
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 2: More so, she's probably pretty real religious. So he probably

1136
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 2: doesn't feel comfortable coming out. Does not mean that he

1137
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 2: can cheat on his partner, yeah, no, no.

1138
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: No, or like uh and again we don't he doesn't

1139
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 1: fully understand his sexual preferences yet. But like if he

1140
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 1: never was romantically or spicily interested in OPI in the

1141
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 1: first place. Now OPI has spent all this time in

1142
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 1: this relationship with this person and built up expectational I'm

1143
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 1: going to marry this person.

1144
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I think there's probably a possibility that

1145
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,399
Speaker 2: he totally isn't like how has been in love with her?

1146
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:37,280
Speaker 1: Yes, totally, very very possible. Yeah, but it's just has.

1147
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 2: Just been like kind of putting pushing this other feeling

1148
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 2: of love. Yeah, you know, attraction to Bill and other

1149
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:43,800
Speaker 2: men down.

1150
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:48,720
Speaker 3: Have you guys ever dated someone and then right after

1151
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 3: they started being with the same sex.

1152
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 4: I've only dated one person, so now this has also

1153
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:59,760
Speaker 4: happened to me to me twice, once in high school

1154
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 4: and then another in two years ago.

1155
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 3: Decide what I'm doing something wrong? Yeah, but like what

1156
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 3: do you do after that? Like, as this girl, what

1157
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 3: do you do? Like, oh, like was he ever really

1158
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 3: attracted to me? Did he ever really love me? You know,

1159
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 3: like those thoughts would death and ride right.

1160
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think you know, I just have to

1161
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 2: remember that bisexuality exists, Like I see you, Yeah, you're

1162
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 2: like cool, but.

1163
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 3: Like it's during that time, like if like your partner,

1164
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 3: your ex leaves you and gets with another person immediately after,

1165
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 3: when you have those same thoughts and feelings.

1166
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 2: Sure, but it just depends on the scenario. I mean,

1167
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 2: like if a person's like openly by, then you can

1168
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 2: be like, oh, you know, if they got immediately with

1169
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 2: another person, maybe they don't really like respect our relationship.

1170
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 2: I can I could be like a thing that you feel.

1171
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,239
Speaker 3: I just would be pretty hurt because it seems like

1172
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,520
Speaker 3: she's just stunned and taking a step back instead of

1173
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 3: being hurt.

1174
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:03,640
Speaker 1: I mean I would imagine, right, I would imagine she's hurt, stunned, shocked,

1175
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: and this is gonna be your husband.

1176
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh I got I thought we were still talking

1177
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 2: about you. No, no, sorry, I was confused. Oh yeah,

1178
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 2: probably very hurt and stuff she was cheated on. And

1179
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 2: also he doesn't even know what you know he is. Yes, yes,

1180
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,680
Speaker 2: he has not even come to like reckon with that. Yes.

1181
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: And to clarify my comment from earlier, I wasn't saying

1182
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:30,880
Speaker 1: for sure that he was not by I was saying

1183
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:35,880
Speaker 1: there could be a possible scenario potentially in which you know,

1184
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: that wasn't the case. But yeah, I.

1185
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 2: Mean he really didn't. He's been suppressing there's, of course

1186
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 2: a possibility of that, because he literally doesn't know.

1187
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 1: It does It seems the only thing that is at

1188
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:50,120
Speaker 1: least the clearest of what we do know is that

1189
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:54,600
Speaker 1: he wants to be with or explore what like looking

1190
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 1: what it looks like to be with Bill. Yes, this

1191
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 1: point all.

1192
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 2: Right, Well, folks, that's the end. That's story and the

1193
00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 2: end of that episode.

1194
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: Out of the stream. No, keep going first eight more

1195
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: hours straights with no breaks. Yeah, too much.

1196
00:58:13,520 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 2: But folks, if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1197
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: We love you and see you tomorrow.