1 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here, you're listening to five Minute 2 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 1: Friday from Hurdle. 3 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: What a week? 4 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: I feel like I start every frid Minute Friday by saying, 5 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: what a week? But this has been a good week 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: for me, and I really feel like I needed a 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,599 Speaker 1: good week. I don't want this to be the subject 8 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: of today's episode, but I have been making it a 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 1: point and I tried to do this most of the time, 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: but very intentional over looking for the good lately. I 11 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: was candidly just struggling at the beginning of the year, 12 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: and I got to a point. And this often happens 13 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: when we are in need of change and maybe aren't 14 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: at a point yet where we want to admit it. 15 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 1: Staying where I was was more painful than making the change, 16 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: and so I decided to make some changes, and I 17 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: decided to start seeking the joy actively. I write about 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: this in the Weekly Hurdle today. But noticing where there's 19 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: good around me and paying attention to that, being in 20 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 1: the elevator and seeing two cute snorting bulldogs on my 21 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: way out for my run this morning. On the run 22 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: this morning, seeing I think there were toolips that were 23 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: about to come out from under the ground, like the 24 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: smallest peep of yellow. 25 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 2: Coming up over the soil. 26 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 1: Seeing a man that I had once, I was finishing 27 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: a run and he was finishing on a run and 28 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: he said, I'll race you to the corner. We did 29 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: not know each other, and we raced each other to 30 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: the corner and we laughed about it and it was 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: really sweet. And I saw him on my run today 32 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: and he said, have a great run, and that was 33 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: just so delightful. So I am paying attention and seeking joy. 34 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: And I find that when I do that, it comes 35 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: back to me. I say it all the time time. 36 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: Energy attracts like energy, and when I choose to seek joy, 37 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: then my thoughts are positive too. So as I'm on 38 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: my run, I have this thought, and maybe it sounds 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: a little woo woo, but I just have this moment 40 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: that I think, well, now's my chance to start over. 41 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: And I recognize that every second, every minute, you don't 42 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: need to wait for a January first, or the first 43 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 1: of any month, or even a new day. You can 44 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: start over with whatever you are navigating right now, something 45 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,679 Speaker 1: that might be frustrating you, something that you might feel 46 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: caught up in. Listen to me when I say that 47 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: right now, you can start fresh if you choose to 48 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: make that decision, and that decision, yes, I understand, there 49 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:45,799 Speaker 1: might be some caveats I understand, but you can make 50 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: that decision most of the time, and that feels really great. 51 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: So I encourage you to do that. I encourage you 52 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: to seek joy in your day to day. I actually 53 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: wanted to make today's Five Minute Friday about a listener 54 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: question that came in, so you can think of this 55 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: as me segueing now into the listener question, but really 56 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 1: I'm just going to talk about it for a few minutes. 57 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: The listener question specifically, Hi, Emily, I've been listening since 58 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: twenty seventeen. 59 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 2: Six exclamation points. Love you for this. 60 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: My question for you is, how do you know if 61 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: a decision is right? For example, interviewing for new jobs 62 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: or opportunities. I tend to get hesitant because I can 63 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: be a bit too comfortable where I'm at right now 64 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: or scared of change. But question is, how do you 65 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 1: determine what your gut instinct is telling you? How do 66 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 1: you know if the decision is right? Any advice would 67 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: be much appreciated. Thank you so much, Taylor, Taylor this 68 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: is so good. I can tell you that I have 69 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: literally been in this same questioning position, especially when it 70 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: comes to deciding about a job change, so I can 71 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: sympathize with the nerves that go hand in hand with 72 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: making a big decision like this. 73 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 2: They call it gut instinct. I don't know if you 74 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: know this. 75 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: Gut instinct is actually a term that's rooted on this 76 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: concept of the mind gut connection, the signals that pass 77 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: between your gastrone testinal system and your nervous system, and 78 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: you will likely experience when you are nervous or trying 79 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: to make a big decision, or you're feeling really anxious, 80 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: your stomach is in knots that I'm using air quotes 81 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: here because of this connection. So naturally, when you are 82 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: making a decision that makes you uncomfortable, there are going 83 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: to be feelings like you listed, being hesitant, being scared, feeling. 84 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 2: A little bit all over the place. 85 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 1: Right now, even though it's difficult, when you're making the 86 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,920 Speaker 1: right decision, there are a few things that will happen. 87 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: First and foremost, you will recognize or be able to 88 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: recognize that the decision that you are making aligns with 89 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 1: your core values. If you've never taken a step back 90 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: to ask yourself, what are my core values? You can 91 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: literally go on Google Google values. I know it sounds silly, 92 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,480 Speaker 1: but google it. Write down ten to fifteen words that 93 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: resonate with you, and then when you're making these difficult decisions, 94 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: you will notice that they fall in line with the 95 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: things that are important to you the direction that you're 96 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: going in. If you recognize that it doesn't align with 97 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,039 Speaker 1: your core values, then you have to ask yourself, what 98 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: is it that's pulling me toward this thing? If it's 99 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 1: not indicative of what I care about or who I am. 100 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,239 Speaker 1: The next thing that you'll realize is that even though 101 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: you may feel nervous when you're making a decision that 102 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: is in alignment for you, you will feel relief period. I 103 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: know this might sound a little weird, but fear and 104 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:34,159 Speaker 1: excitement can feel the same in your body. So you 105 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 1: need to really pay close attention to whether you are 106 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: scared because this is something that is new for you, 107 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: or simply because it is something that is wrong, something 108 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 1: again that doesn't feel aligned. Okay, so both of those 109 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: things are important when it comes to making big decisions. 110 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: There are a few things that I will advise you 111 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,600 Speaker 1: in the first thing is take a second to recognize, 112 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: like what your triggers are, what are your biggest fears 113 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: When you are in fear mode, ask yourself what's happening here? 114 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: Is that fear causing you to feel overwhelmed? Are you procrastinating? 115 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 1: Are you over analyzing? And rather than judge whatever is 116 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: happening in this moment, simply recognize it. Just state it 117 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,239 Speaker 1: as this is how I'm feeling in this moment. And note, 118 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: this is how I'm feeling in this moment. It is 119 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: not I am overwhelmed. It is I feel overwhelmed recognizing 120 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: that there is some distance between you and that is 121 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: a feeling, It is not a state fact. 122 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 2: Period. 123 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: The next thing you can do is do something to 124 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: deliberately calm your nervous system. So, whether that is something 125 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: as simple as taking a walk around the block or 126 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: doing four rounds of box breath, which I've talked about 127 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 1: is a technique that I love, love, love so many 128 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: times over here on the show. Do something to really 129 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: reset the mind and calm down a little bit so 130 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: that you can come to your decision making process with 131 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 1: a more level approach. 132 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 2: The next thing I want you to do. 133 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: Is I want you to ask yourself a very valuable question, 134 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: what is my goal here? What is the desired outcome? 135 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: When you shift to what is my goal here and 136 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: thinking about what it is that you want out of this, 137 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: you start to get to a place where you're less 138 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: attached to whether or not the decision is quote unquote 139 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: right and more attached to what is best for insert 140 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: your name here? So what is best for Emily? If 141 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: I'm talking to myself, so you're asking yourselves questions like 142 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: what is it that I want to feel? Like? What 143 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: is it that I want to achieve? If you are 144 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: in the situation as you described, deciding on a very 145 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: big job or between two different jobs, break down what 146 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 1: is it that I am looking for? 147 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 2: Period? 148 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: Do I want something like the opportunity to be more creative? 149 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: Do I want job security? Is money a factor here? 150 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: There are so many different things that can go into 151 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: your decision making process to help you really decipher what 152 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: is right for you. There are so many more tips 153 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,280 Speaker 1: I could provide here, but the last thing that I 154 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: will say is twofold. When making any big decision, you've 155 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: got to give yourself some grace and you've got to 156 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: give yourself some time, right, So, I know that we 157 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: don't always have the gift of time. But with that said, 158 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: if you need time to sleep on something, sleep on something, 159 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: know that ninety nine percent of the time, someone else's 160 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: urgency isn't really your problem. In that if you were 161 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: in the fight up against a deadline to say hi, 162 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: I really could use a night to make my decision, 163 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 1: I almost guarantee you that that person will meet you 164 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 1: with where you're at. It really isn't that crucial most 165 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,200 Speaker 1: of the time. And the second thing I said there, grace. 166 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: Grace is so important. It isn't easy. If it was easy, 167 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: it wouldn't be such a hard decision. So be kind 168 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: to yourself, speak nice to yourself. Recognize that there are 169 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: people around you every single day that are making difficult decisions, 170 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: that are trying to figure out what's right for them. 171 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: And know that although trusting your gut might not feel easy, 172 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: you will never regret taking the time to do this 173 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: kind of inquiry to get to know yourself better, because 174 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: when you do, the next time you are faced with 175 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: a truly difficult decision, you'll have some of these tools 176 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: in your toolbox ready and waiting to help you on 177 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: your way. I hope this helps I understand again. Difficult 178 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: decisions are not easy for anyone, But it's just like 179 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: strengthening a regular muscle. How does muscle strengthen you give 180 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: it something to push up against? How does your will 181 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:51,160 Speaker 1: strengthen you give it something to push up against? Make 182 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: sure you're following along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle podcast. 183 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: I am over at Emily a Body. I love your 184 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: listener questions. I say it every week. I want more 185 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 1: of them, So hit me with your best shot. You 186 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: can reach me over at Hello at Hurdle dot Us 187 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time