Speaker 1: I leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminol and gay a. We want to send you off instile.
Speaker 2: Do wanna welcome you back home? Tell us all about it?
Speaker 1: Scared her? Was it fine? Mal porn? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need
Speaker 1: to ride? Do your need to ride?
Speaker 3: Ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris h welcome to Do you need
Speaker 3: a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Coilgara.
Speaker 4: Boy, there was some that was some historic technical issues.
Speaker 4: I was sweating. I had to have you turn on
Speaker 4: the air conditioner. I got so upset.
Speaker 1: It's distressful.
Speaker 4: It was definitely start putting these little last cards into
Speaker 4: this nice device that zooms six. I'm going to keep
Speaker 4: promoting them because it finally kicked in. But for a
Speaker 4: while I wasn't never going to mention their name again.
Speaker 1: It's been a real roller coaster.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was up and down for it was only
Speaker 4: five minutes. A five minute ride usually there's shorter roller coaster. Yeah,
Speaker 4: minutes The emotional ones.
Speaker 1: Oh, the emotional ones last year.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I was on a roller coaster for age twelve
Speaker 4: to twenty four.
Speaker 1: I think that's what they call late puberty.
Speaker 3: What so long for that stuff to grow in?
Speaker 1: Oh god, you were calling it and putting on the lotion.
Speaker 4: Twelve years of hair growing softs, and those wouldn't work.
Speaker 3: I'd go back to the nair. It's like you can't
Speaker 3: force nature.
Speaker 1: No or nurture. None of it works.
Speaker 3: It doesn't. I don't believe in any of it.
Speaker 1: I like the way because the last thing that was
Speaker 1: happening is this the card isn't being read. And it
Speaker 1: was like it seemed as I was sitting here in
Speaker 1: the driver's seat, I was just it seemed like all
Speaker 1: was lost, right, and then really fast you just went
Speaker 1: welcome to do like all of a sudden that.
Speaker 4: Sound, yeah, it just all of a sudden. I was
Speaker 4: really losing hope. And I think I'm bad at hiding that.
Speaker 4: When I when something's bothering me, I let it bother
Speaker 4: everyone and not it was probably stressing you.
Speaker 1: Out, to be honest, it was not only because it
Speaker 1: happens a lot with us, right.
Speaker 3: And you're I think you're a little more ire than.
Speaker 1: Me, I think so. I think it's well, it's definitely
Speaker 1: the drugs, right, you are high the age, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: and just you know, losing a parent, you stop giving
Speaker 1: a fuck about most SD cards, right it is.
Speaker 3: I think you know what you're right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I am a little more laid back.
Speaker 1: Yes, But also this is a huge amount of pressure.
Speaker 1: We get together to record this podcast that we it
Speaker 1: takes us a month to get together. We want it
Speaker 1: to work, we want to do it. We put all
Speaker 1: our good intentions together and then the fucking sound doesn't
Speaker 1: work and you feel like it's on you somehow.
Speaker 4: I'm not a technical I'm not a DJ, I'm not
Speaker 4: a sound guy. I'm not a cable dragger for Motley Crue.
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not this person that you're forcing.
Speaker 3: Me to be here.
Speaker 1: But I did make you wear those big like tribal
Speaker 1: earring separator things. Oh.
Speaker 3: I like the fashion of it. Yeah, I like the
Speaker 3: way you wake me dress in the car.
Speaker 1: There's a true sound guy thumb ring bracelets, and then
Speaker 1: just a little some crucifixes here and there as accessor.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't even like the band, but the
Speaker 4: slip knock t shirt fits like a glove.
Speaker 1: It slips right on you, not like something less, not
Speaker 1: like something that doesn't fit. It doesn't rock.
Speaker 3: How have you been, friend, I've been great.
Speaker 1: I just want to say I one time saw a
Speaker 1: slip knot in a documentary about something, and do you
Speaker 1: know what snoop? Slip will not looks like in real life?
Speaker 1: I don't they wear if I'm thinking of the correct band,
Speaker 1: which I'm ninety two percent sure that I am.
Speaker 3: Monster makeup right, Yeah?
Speaker 1: Monster masks.
Speaker 3: Oh masks, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like masks. You have no idea who they are, right,
Speaker 1: it's really hilarious.
Speaker 3: You're right. Yeah. One is like I'm the scarecrow.
Speaker 1: Yes I have a shack, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: missus King.
Speaker 3: I'm a zippery over my mouth. It's convenient because I
Speaker 3: sing back.
Speaker 1: Up, who zip, un zip, and then sing and zip
Speaker 1: it back up.
Speaker 3: You don't want to leave it open, I'll tell you that,
Speaker 3: otherwise your tongue flies out.
Speaker 1: He's like one of those bulldogs that can't put his
Speaker 1: tongue back in his mouth, so he ass to zip
Speaker 1: it up.
Speaker 4: All of their masks are functional. It's there for utilitarian reasons.
Speaker 4: I have this spur lap sack on my head. My
Speaker 4: hair is filled with ants.
Speaker 1: We're just starting to control the bugs.
Speaker 3: With this mask. I'm scared of a fly will go
Speaker 3: into my mouth, so I have this zipper.
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a mask. I have a person who's got
Speaker 1: terrible burns on their face because I have terrible burns
Speaker 1: on my phone.
Speaker 4: Oh man, yours is the most fitting. And I'm sorry
Speaker 4: for your loss of skin.
Speaker 1: But also in two years you'll have the most beautiful
Speaker 1: skin to have to regrow it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called microderm abrasions.
Speaker 1: I had a facial. This will be my anecdote for
Speaker 1: you asking me how I am. I recently had a facial.
Speaker 1: So this lady who's this awesome facialist who also is
Speaker 1: named Karen, and she usually does my gooderma brasion where
Speaker 1: somebody it's like a suction. It's simultaneously a small sander
Speaker 1: and suction. Oh so that just goes over your face
Speaker 1: and takes off like two layers of dead skin. So
Speaker 1: all this creepy, creepy, glooy looking old skin is getting there.
Speaker 1: It's gray and she shows it to me because she
Speaker 1: finds it very satisfying.
Speaker 4: And I'm sure too, it's like a br strip or
Speaker 4: those pats at the bottom of your feet that apparently
Speaker 4: pull out tar.
Speaker 1: I think that second one is a lie.
Speaker 3: It's up there with an ear candle. I think, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Although God, I love the idea of ear candling. That
Speaker 1: you could vacuum remove wax out of your ear and
Speaker 1: pull it out.
Speaker 4: I like, I've never done it, but I imagine when
Speaker 4: you extract it it makes a cork popping sound.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then there's a tiny note that says, good job.
Speaker 4: I'm in the little band who lives in here and
Speaker 4: uses your anil hammer and sir.
Speaker 1: Man, no, no, no. So as we were doing that, she goes,
Speaker 1: do you ever like the new thing I offer is
Speaker 1: a vampire facial where she takes a needle and pokes
Speaker 1: my skin, the skin on my face, over and over,
Speaker 1: like thousands of times.
Speaker 3: How loudly did you say no? Thank you?
Speaker 1: And how immediately well, of course, And she draws blood
Speaker 1: and spins out the blood, the serum and the blood
Speaker 1: it's like not the color part but the other part,
Speaker 1: and then uses that in a salve once she's done,
Speaker 1: so that my own blood DNA something or like stem
Speaker 1: cells are rejuvenating my face.
Speaker 3: Is it hard to do this on people when they
Speaker 3: just can't stop vomiting? It's a description of the vampire facial.
Speaker 1: Yes, but that's the kind of thing where like when
Speaker 1: you're a lady my age, you're someone goes, have you
Speaker 1: heard of the vampire facial? It's six hundred dollars a
Speaker 1: treatment and it's amazing, And then I go, yes, please
Speaker 1: solve this thing that's happening on my face. Please?
Speaker 3: How is it? Your own blood is a beauty tip?
Speaker 1: I think that I think a lot of this is bullshit,
Speaker 1: but I don't care. It's like you're at the point
Speaker 1: in aging where you're like, either I get a procedure
Speaker 1: or someone's going to be like, oh, don't you know
Speaker 1: what the Korean women do. They do blood. They put
Speaker 1: their bottom of their foot on their face. Then you're like, what,
Speaker 1: me too.
Speaker 3: It was all discovered when they saw how smooth Sissy
Speaker 3: spaces face was.
Speaker 1: After Carrie is not aged to days and scary.
Speaker 3: All you have to do is bathe in your own blood,
Speaker 3: even if it's the.
Speaker 1: Blood, even if it's pig blood.
Speaker 3: Never whistled backstage call that you've ever called that gold episode?
Speaker 3: How have you been I did.
Speaker 4: I'm almost got a facial But I went to a
Speaker 4: spa place for a birthday party. It was like a
Speaker 4: Russian in an area where Russian folksay in West Hollywood
Speaker 4: and all types of folks, really sure, but mostly gay
Speaker 4: folks and Russian folks, and that I can.
Speaker 1: Help us sprinkling of gay Russians.
Speaker 3: And there's a crossover.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it was really it's all these extremely hot
Speaker 4: sonas and people whip you with birch branches, some kind
Speaker 4: of branches, fragrant.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think it's supposed to be therapeutic, but I'm like,
Speaker 4: don't hit me with a scapser or ma'am.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I wasn't. I was in there alone.
Speaker 4: But then they have a forty or if not thirty
Speaker 4: five degree ice stip, which my new hip. I mean,
Speaker 4: I went in there in my lungs. It was like
Speaker 4: I was diving in the polar bear group or whatever.
Speaker 4: You know how they treat themselves like an ice fishing
Speaker 4: pole and I I've it felt so good. It was
Speaker 4: like it was so cold that it was painful. But
Speaker 4: then after a while, I guess your body into shock.
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's good for you. But it
Speaker 4: was good for my hip. And then I jump into
Speaker 4: this hot tub and it just tingled. It's like I
Speaker 4: couldn't even feel it. And then all of a sudden
Speaker 4: I had the legs.
Speaker 3: Of a boy.
Speaker 1: Oh so let's have opened some shit up for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it did it? Did? I like it on
Speaker 3: a capillary level and also emotionally emotion But.
Speaker 4: I I saw the lord in that pool and the bottom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, can I do this at home?
Speaker 4: Could I put ice in the tub and just treat
Speaker 4: my body like Nolan Ryan's elbow?
Speaker 3: Yes, you have a picture?
Speaker 1: Did they say yes?
Speaker 4: I don't know if I want. I mean, it just
Speaker 4: doesn't seem fun to do it at home. This wasn't
Speaker 4: already deep. You can walk into it. There's a ladder.
Speaker 4: I don't think I could dip my toes into an
Speaker 4: ice cube field tub and.
Speaker 3: Not have it ruined my days. Yeah. I haven't done
Speaker 3: it again. But it's weird how this metal hip radiated
Speaker 3: the cold, if that is right, Like it stayed colder
Speaker 3: than my real life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3: I think it's like conducted the cold.
Speaker 1: Did you watch that documentary about Tony Robbins on I
Speaker 1: believe it's on Netflix.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the one that made me not like him, Yes,
Speaker 3: where he is a foul mouth bully.
Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, but there's a part where he talks about
Speaker 1: doing that polar dip every morning. It's like part of
Speaker 1: his like life, this is how, this is why my
Speaker 1: life is this way.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just found him so unlikable that I mean,
Speaker 4: I did watch the thing, but I was really disappointed
Speaker 4: in in the person he was.
Speaker 1: Well, because he's swearing, Oh.
Speaker 4: No, because he's like, you're an asshole and you're lying
Speaker 4: here yourself. It's like, fucking ghiddo. I've just never met
Speaker 4: someone that's supposed to be helping people but he's so
Speaker 4: self absorbed. Yes, and and thought he was this he
Speaker 4: really believes he's like this guru. And for sure, you know,
Speaker 4: he's really just a fucking weird magician. I don't really,
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't care for him, but you know,
Speaker 4: it's probably could.
Speaker 3: Change my life.
Speaker 1: Well, I think you can change certain people's lives, but
Speaker 1: I think you have to be the kind of person
Speaker 1: that would be shocked that someone would say fuck like
Speaker 1: if you are, like, I don't think we're in that
Speaker 1: realm because we already have lived shocking lives and done
Speaker 1: things no one expected comedy wise, So that kind of
Speaker 1: behavior isn't surprising or new or shocking at all. Right,
Speaker 1: so you're not that thing like I have a new
Speaker 1: consciousness or it's like, oh no, this is just like
Speaker 1: being in the green room at any fucking comedy club. Right,
Speaker 1: someone's assaulting you, questioning your morals, questioning your history.
Speaker 5: All that stuff is like, we've kind of done it already, right, Right,
Speaker 5: But if you're you know, someone that that just works
Speaker 5: a job and stays at home all day, and I
Speaker 5: guess if someone says fuck you, you're lying to yourself.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh my Atlanti, Yes, holy, I've never been
Speaker 3: spoken to you that way. And why my small town.
Speaker 1: Like w is pronounced well, why I'm about to fight?
Speaker 1: I like the idea though that, Like I don't know
Speaker 1: when he was talking to that couple and then he's
Speaker 1: just basically like, oh, I get it, You're you're running
Speaker 1: the show, Like he clearly writes insight on it.
Speaker 3: Maybe I need to rewatch it. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: just left it thinking he was a full of himself tasshole.
Speaker 1: Well I think he is. He's also like six foot
Speaker 1: fuck and nine.
Speaker 3: I don't like that about people when they're a giant, but.
Speaker 1: I love it and their head is confident.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they just look like a handsome herman monster.
Speaker 1: That's exactly.
Speaker 3: He's a handsome herman.
Speaker 1: Oh. I just like the picture of urban monster and
Speaker 1: then just immediately okay, but now do you have is
Speaker 1: that about height or it's the commation like do you
Speaker 1: like Andre the Giant because he's a humble giant?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: Right, if you're a big tough guy and you're intimidating
Speaker 4: features wise or height wise, or or you're gonna yell
Speaker 4: fuck you to people, yeah, or I mean no, you
Speaker 4: can't be the person that yells fuck you to people.
Speaker 4: You have to be kind. Like That's why I like
Speaker 4: the Rock or whatever. He seems like a gentle, sweet
Speaker 4: person and everyone likes him because of that, because he
Speaker 4: knows he could peel off any of our faces like
Speaker 4: soft bread.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like monkey bread.
Speaker 4: He could bite off your nose like a monkey. But
Speaker 4: he's just using his thumb and forefinger.
Speaker 1: He can literally got your nose.
Speaker 3: He has finger teeth.
Speaker 1: That got your nose. I love the Rock because he
Speaker 1: has a good sense of humor. And he knows that
Speaker 1: it's very stupid what he looks like like. He's he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is funny that I look like this.
Speaker 4: He's self aware. Yeah, it's so funny that he knows that. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and he doesn't misuse it. That's what I like about
Speaker 4: tough guys. I have lots of big, tough guy friends
Speaker 4: and they know they look that way, and they know
Speaker 4: they don't have to be intimidating or be or confront people.
Speaker 3: Or It's like, what a luxury it would be to
Speaker 3: just be a big giant. I wish all the.
Speaker 4: Time, but that you're a big giant. Yeah, unless I'm skateboarding.
Speaker 3: It's like, that's what talk about your head larger than
Speaker 3: five nine or size nine feet? Five nine feet? Well,
Speaker 3: can you imagine.
Speaker 1: See it as Tala's a small man.
Speaker 3: I'm just a perfect letter. L like it's it's I'm
Speaker 3: my height and my feet are the exact I'm just
Speaker 3: a human right angle. That would be awful. I don't
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Or you could then become a great architect, I really could,
Speaker 1: just always having your tools at hand.
Speaker 3: Yes, and foot terrible, terrible, terrible, but yeah, all, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's not a bad idea except everyone and have pretty
Speaker 3: low ceilings. I think you got to go at least.
Speaker 5: Ten anyway, at least ten ceilings least.
Speaker 1: Okay, I personally love giants. I've talked about this before.
Speaker 1: Huge fan of Robert Wadlow, who is the guy from
Speaker 1: the Guinness Book of World Record who like you know,
Speaker 1: has his elbow he's resting his elbow on a light
Speaker 1: pole or whatever the fuck. But there's Did you know
Speaker 1: if we ever talked about Anna Swan, the giantess of
Speaker 1: Nova Scotia.
Speaker 3: No, it was my favorite.
Speaker 1: She's like really proportionate. So there's like lots of pictures
Speaker 1: of her, and she's like six foot eleven or some
Speaker 1: fucking nutso thing that's probably tall. No, she's taller than that,
Speaker 1: because she's like up there anyway, she's huge, and she
Speaker 1: was from like the eighteen hundreds, and she just looked
Speaker 1: like if somebody went and grew somebody like four times
Speaker 1: larger than normal.
Speaker 4: Well that's the kind of tall person that it means
Speaker 4: they're not going to live very long, right, It's like
Speaker 4: a gigantism.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, well that makes me sad. Is the
Speaker 3: man from oh what is that?
Speaker 4: Oh God, there's a movie where the dad keeps lying
Speaker 4: and telling stories and big fish. Yes, is there a
Speaker 4: giant in that? A giant after man, A French giant, A.
Speaker 3: French giant man. Do you know his name?
Speaker 4: I could say nothing I say makes sense, Yet somehow
Speaker 4: you're able to decipher I'm with you, my meandering.
Speaker 1: Oh it's because I don't just say I'm a fan
Speaker 1: of giants. I'm fucking proving it through this conversation.
Speaker 3: Any giant I bring up right now, you will know.
Speaker 1: I will know, or I'll lie and it'll sound.
Speaker 3: Like I know, oh right, right right.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at that too, like a bit of
Speaker 1: a fib conversational fitting, which really ended when the Internet
Speaker 1: came out and I realized anything is provable, and then
Speaker 1: you're just kind of a fucking liar, right.
Speaker 4: That's I think It's kind of happened to me a
Speaker 4: few times on this podcast, but I think more often
Speaker 4: than that people are like, you are somewhat right.
Speaker 1: And don't be hard on yourself, don't tell himself short.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's funny when people we say things conversationally on
Speaker 4: here and then someone with the luxury of just listening
Speaker 4: and having access to Google says ha ha, You're wrong.
Speaker 1: You were.
Speaker 4: It's like, well you're looking it up. We aren't, like,
Speaker 4: we don't have Google in front of us.
Speaker 1: Also, I just like my answer always say is I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear your podcast. I'd love to hear your
Speaker 1: fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: Take that everyone, Take that you.
Speaker 1: Person listening doing us the huge favor of actually supporting it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, fuck.
Speaker 1: You with anybody.
Speaker 4: That's fun to say it. That's why Tony Robbinson's like
Speaker 4: saying fuck you. It feels great.
Speaker 1: That's why he is a big, humongous smile on his face.
Speaker 1: What's that.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say something, and I just kind of
Speaker 3: bit my lip. I did stand up the other night
Speaker 3: at Largo and Oh show.
Speaker 4: It was Pete Holmes's show, and I had a very
Speaker 4: good time.
Speaker 3: And then at the end Adam Sandler.
Speaker 4: Who's a nice, very nice person, ye so much so
Speaker 4: to where it's like, why are you involving me in conversations?
Speaker 4: He's like, clearly was raised to be a sweet person,
Speaker 4: and I'm very impressed.
Speaker 3: With who he is.
Speaker 4: And like a lot of people, I'm like, why do
Speaker 4: you make stinker movies lately?
Speaker 3: Because his first ones were important to me. They really were.
Speaker 3: But his stand up was so good was it? I
Speaker 3: couldn't believe.
Speaker 4: I'm like, someone's maybe helping him, right or whatever, but
Speaker 4: he's so good at making them his. If someone is
Speaker 4: helping him, I'm not saying, but they were great jokes,
Speaker 4: and this is a guy I don't think that it
Speaker 4: has done stand up for a long time.
Speaker 3: But I haven't laughed that hard really long.
Speaker 4: But it's our jokes that are ridiculous, scenarios awesome, but
Speaker 4: they start with something that actually did happened, and then
Speaker 4: he turns it so everything sounds like an actual story
Speaker 4: about his kids, or an actual story about a dog
Speaker 4: that he found, and then it turns into this bizarre
Speaker 4: world where he's he's texting with a coyote. I just
Speaker 4: I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: That's so up your alley too.
Speaker 3: It really was. I'm like, oh man, I'm such a
Speaker 3: fan of who you are.
Speaker 4: And yeah, anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know
Speaker 4: that Adam Sandler's coming out with a new Netflix special
Speaker 4: and I think it's going to be really good stand up.
Speaker 1: I bet it is. I It is killing me right
Speaker 1: now because I know somebody that you know what, maybe
Speaker 1: I should thank yeahs.
Speaker 3: Oh, can I make eye contact? No, he won't look.
Speaker 3: He won't look. He's in his tiny little yellow car.
Speaker 1: That was my car made a scary noise when I
Speaker 1: know that was just when it's anti lock, it's just
Speaker 1: fancy breaks.
Speaker 4: It's like, I don't know if we're on ice, I
Speaker 4: don't know, if we're on a hill, you're gonna pull,
Speaker 4: but stops electronically.
Speaker 1: Is it true?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. That's the sign of a good car.
Speaker 4: I know it seemed like it locked and felt smooth, Yes,
Speaker 4: but that was Is this the kind of car where
Speaker 4: if you fell asleep, it would the breaks have gone?
Speaker 1: Probably?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that it's just it's new breaks. They
Speaker 4: don't feel great, but they will save your life.
Speaker 1: That's way better than the fucking uh Honda Fit breaks.
Speaker 1: No offense, Honda Fit. You were good to me, but
Speaker 1: that was a totally different experience, and it's good to
Speaker 1: know that that was. It did stop us from.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why did that guy do that?
Speaker 1: It's you know why this thing people do in LA
Speaker 1: They won't stop driving, so if something comes into their lane,
Speaker 1: they just go into your lane, right, everybody fucking does it.
Speaker 1: It drives me insane. They don't like you know that
Speaker 1: this school bus stopped earlier and had the sign up
Speaker 1: that's had stopped so I stopped. People just whip around
Speaker 1: you like nobody will stop driving no matter what. So
Speaker 1: then they're like, well someone's in my lane, I'm going
Speaker 1: over there no matter if someone's in the other lane.
Speaker 4: It's that's and I've said this before, those are the
Speaker 4: times that's during traff that I kind of wish I
Speaker 4: was a policeman.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I could just pull people over and give
Speaker 3: them tickets. There's people all of even when I'm I
Speaker 3: think I'm getting old, I'm starting.
Speaker 1: To really see dad stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, I wish I could give that that
Speaker 4: guy's drunk right now.
Speaker 3: I'm five years ago I was driving around all.
Speaker 1: And now you're like, sit that slim's a ray.
Speaker 4: Ask you put your hands up when I'm just holding
Speaker 4: some fruit.
Speaker 1: That's good. That's got a lot of fiber. This is
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna say about Adam Sandler different from you
Speaker 1: because I'm older and a girl, so I don't have
Speaker 1: the happy go more relations.
Speaker 3: I was just on the end tail end of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So and I was always like that's I knew
Speaker 1: I knew personal stories from people who like worked at
Speaker 1: SNL or whatever, where I was like that he's mean
Speaker 1: to women. I met him because I did a voice
Speaker 1: for Punch Drunk Love.
Speaker 3: Right, Oh yeah, I remember you. You were on the phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the sister on the phone. Is that's true? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was. I mean I couldn't have been
Speaker 1: more excited to do it and be there. But he
Speaker 1: was so nice and so sweet and like I can't
Speaker 1: even explain how I was there ready to just do
Speaker 1: my part and get out and like not get in
Speaker 1: anyone's way, and how complimentary and like like supportive because
Speaker 1: we had to improvise this conversation where I had to
Speaker 1: realistically be the sister that's like, you have to come
Speaker 1: to this party and we're not taking any excuses and
Speaker 1: like be a bitch jam on the phone and the
Speaker 1: last thing I said was show up at this party,
Speaker 1: fucking phony, and he like and then Paul Thomas Scander's like, okay,
Speaker 1: cut and then he was laughing so hard and he goes,
Speaker 1: oh man, oh fucking phony. Is there a worst insult
Speaker 1: in the world, Like he was yah nice about it,
Speaker 1: where I was like I just thought I just had
Speaker 1: a bunch of dumb shit and I just kind of
Speaker 1: want to leave, right But he was so lovely.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if that's how he was. Even right when he
Speaker 4: got there, he's like, I like that sweatshirt. That's a
Speaker 4: fun sweatshirt. Like I'm like, oh, thanks, oh yay. Then
Speaker 4: and then after he said he was like, is there
Speaker 4: any did you like that? Is there is missing anything?
Speaker 4: It's like, are you asking me for notes? But I
Speaker 4: did notice there was like a moment in the beginning
Speaker 4: and the moment in the end that where there could
Speaker 4: be a little callback because it was like the same
Speaker 4: situation one was in the first joke, one was in
Speaker 4: the last perst mention that and he's like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I can't believe I didn't I'm going to use it.
Speaker 4: Can I use that? And I'm like, of course, you
Speaker 4: just asked, and it was in my head I otherwise
Speaker 4: would not have.
Speaker 3: But he actually was thankful and he stock everyone's hand
Speaker 3: like ten times. I'm like, seriously a big fan of
Speaker 3: Adam saying like, the thing.
Speaker 1: Is I love that because whatever, Like here's a thing,
Speaker 1: especially in comedy, there's such a growth arc. When you
Speaker 1: start you're so scared, you're so defensive. You're I'm afraid
Speaker 1: you're not gonna get picked or included. So everybody, boys
Speaker 1: and girls, men and women. You go in and you
Speaker 1: just kind of like have a duke's up, like, fuck everybody,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight for my place or at least this
Speaker 1: If that was in the nineties, it might be different now.
Speaker 3: But no way I think it is. Yeah, then you.
Speaker 1: Get as you as you age, you think, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I've already been a bitch or I've already been a
Speaker 1: dick to that person, or I didn't like them or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then you slowly realize like once people have families,
Speaker 1: they have children, and they have severe loss and they
Speaker 1: really have real life experience, and they're like, yeah, this
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, like this is supposed to be fun and great,
Speaker 1: and you're killing me emotionally inside, right, And then they
Speaker 1: and then there's like that kind of beautiful like, yeah,
Speaker 1: however you felt about a person twenty years ago, you
Speaker 1: don't have to stick with it. Even if you told
Speaker 1: everybody you hate anybody, you can be like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: change my mind. I grew up. I have a different.
Speaker 4: Perspective, and I see that a lot in people that
Speaker 4: don't have to worry anymore, and they're doing well, all
Speaker 4: of a sudden they light up and getting nice. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and it's like a born again niceness. Yeah, like that
Speaker 4: Adam Sandler guy. Though reeks of I've always been nice.
Speaker 4: This is not even something I'm trying to do include you,
Speaker 4: or say a nice thing to you, or give you
Speaker 4: eye contact while you're talking, even though I don't know
Speaker 4: who you are.
Speaker 3: It's something that he's who he is, he's been always. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I can tell. I can tell. I'm real good at
Speaker 3: reading people.
Speaker 1: Well. Also, I feel like I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: out a turn. I said this already, but they feel
Speaker 1: like there's someone I know who has been submitting jokes
Speaker 1: to him, right, I just cannot remember who it is.
Speaker 1: I feel really bad.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're someone that's busy making I mean
Speaker 3: as busy as that guy is, I imagine you'd have to
Speaker 3: and you has.
Speaker 1: But that's how everyone sayes it. Yeah, like every all
Speaker 1: famous comics that you know get eight of their funniest
Speaker 1: friends to go please help me. I'm now famous. I
Speaker 1: have to keep this going. Yeah, can I pay you
Speaker 1: to help me with?
Speaker 3: There?
Speaker 1: Are?
Speaker 4: They're all very good at at writing for his voice
Speaker 4: because it was great stuff and it was all in
Speaker 4: the same voice, and it was all long five minute
Speaker 4: bits that came that took this weird turn and he
Speaker 4: kept doing them and there wasn't a stinker in the bunch.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not, Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 1: And so he's sting.
Speaker 4: I'm not saying that. I used to not like him
Speaker 4: and now I do. I always kind of liked him,
Speaker 4: but he's very His stand up is very good.
Speaker 1: It's so awesome.
Speaker 4: Like I haven't been excited about Netflix specials recently.
Speaker 3: I already can tell that one it's.
Speaker 4: Going to be and less all of a sudden, easy
Speaker 4: yelling and or you know, tells it differently.
Speaker 3: But this laid back Largo performance was really fun.
Speaker 1: Now he saw you kill.
Speaker 3: I did well. Yeah, And I get to go there
Speaker 3: tonight again. I really like it there.
Speaker 1: It's the best.
Speaker 4: It is the best, and that audience it is like
Speaker 4: we are paid. It's John Bryan, oh who I like
Speaker 4: his music always always.
Speaker 3: I haven't seen him since the old.
Speaker 1: Largo And are you opening for John Brian?
Speaker 3: I think I'm I'm just doing twenty minutes somewhere.
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you want me to go with you.
Speaker 3: That'd be great.
Speaker 1: Yay, do do? I'd love to see you do. I
Speaker 1: mean I haven't seen your I haven't seen you do
Speaker 1: a set in quite sometimes. Very sorry, Uh, it'd be fun.
Speaker 3: Let's go.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd love to. But also I just love, like,
Speaker 1: I love the idea because Adam Sammer is just such
Speaker 1: a thing in and of himself, and I love the
Speaker 1: idea that he would be sitting in a club watching you,
Speaker 1: like because he probably doesn't. He started to do clubs again,
Speaker 1: but you know, like it's a newer thing, so he
Speaker 1: doesn't know about what everyone's doing. He doesn't know, and
Speaker 1: then he would come and see you. And then now
Speaker 1: he fucking knows that you're the fucking shit and he
Speaker 1: should know. Like the way you do comedy is different
Speaker 1: than anybody else, and you deserve Adam Sandler's respect just
Speaker 1: as much as he deserves yours.
Speaker 4: Well, thanks, it's true, and he I think he was
Speaker 4: just hanging out at the green room at the Hayworth
Speaker 4: or the Dynasty Typewriter, the new sort of mini largo
Speaker 4: that has opened up that it's really fun. He was
Speaker 4: just hanging out in the green room with his little
Speaker 4: daughters who are just tiny Sarah Silverman's Oh, and they're
Speaker 4: really sweet, and they were, and he was just hanging out.
Speaker 4: And then at the end whenever and was like, give
Speaker 4: a hand for everyone you've seen tonight. It was no
Speaker 4: one that anyone had seen that night. It was just
Speaker 4: Adam Sandler and his two daughters, my manager.
Speaker 3: And then some guy from the streets.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, should we talk about what your manager gave
Speaker 1: you for? Was that for your birthday?
Speaker 3: Yeah? It was a birthday present. It's really sweet.
Speaker 1: Wait I owe you a birthday present? No you don't, well,
Speaker 1: but I mean you told me. You told me the
Speaker 1: like when that happened, this is for my birthday and
Speaker 1: I didn't. Did I even acknowledge it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was so excited that she had made that
Speaker 1: thing for us. It is.
Speaker 3: It is really cool.
Speaker 4: It's it's an air freshener with art from our podcast
Speaker 4: on it. It's got our little heads so we'll play
Speaker 4: right next to each other. And then the do you
Speaker 4: need a ride logo with like a sunburst behind it?
Speaker 4: And it smells great and I really needed it because
Speaker 4: there was a sandwich under my past.
Speaker 1: But I wonder we should see if we can figure
Speaker 1: out a way to get off of those two people.
Speaker 3: Yes, don't you think she's She's my manager.
Speaker 4: Jessica has been met saying that we should make air
Speaker 4: fresheners for a while, and I think even people on.
Speaker 3: The old Twitter if is that that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: It fits with our our progress aesthetic.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: I love it too.
Speaker 1: That made me happy? Well what if this this might
Speaker 1: be too? Is John Bryan at nine or eight?
Speaker 3: I have to be there at nine to twenty?
Speaker 1: Were you going to go home and then go I
Speaker 1: think I will go home first, Yeah, because I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say we could go to dinner.
Speaker 3: Oh well maybe yeah. I don't need to change that much.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah? What do you need? A button down shirt?
Speaker 3: Just something warmer?
Speaker 1: Do you have a sweater in your car?
Speaker 3: I bet I do?
Speaker 4: In the trunk an old bowling ball. I gotta clean
Speaker 4: out my trunks to talk about. Let me list the
Speaker 4: things in my trunk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dunk in my trunk, gloves, junks.
Speaker 3: So much junk in my trunk, my lovely lady bumps.
Speaker 1: Oh did you see her sing the land?
Speaker 4: I was I was like, hey, get off for back,
Speaker 4: and then I watched it and I'm like, oh, weird
Speaker 4: is uh, back on the old rock the Crystal Map.
Speaker 1: I didn't watch it because I'm now to the point
Speaker 1: where I can't watch video online. I can't take it
Speaker 1: in anymore. I've maxed out. Like I can't look at
Speaker 1: Trump's face. I definitely can't listen to him speak. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, anything else that comes up. I'm always like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't deal with it. But was it
Speaker 1: that she was singing the national anthem in a sexy manner.
Speaker 4: It was like she was doing a like, here's my
Speaker 4: impression of my drunk aunt trying to sing nineteen twenties style.
Speaker 1: Oh no, but the national anthem?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't even recall.
Speaker 4: I kind of blocked it out and I only watched
Speaker 4: a moment of it, but right away I was like, yep,
Speaker 4: that sucks, duly noted. But I never she never had
Speaker 4: my respect, I don't. I mean, she's a pretty lady.
Speaker 4: But her other song was let's get retarded or whatever.
Speaker 1: You know. You know she does have a huge singing voice, though, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's we're.
Speaker 3: Not using it. She's using a different voice.
Speaker 1: She was doing something.
Speaker 3: It was a weak, powerless voice with no tone. What
Speaker 3: a jerk. I've become.
Speaker 1: I mean, look turns out I do care. You went
Speaker 1: to Juilliard. You know your shit, you know singing, you
Speaker 1: know tone.
Speaker 3: Mom mom me mo mo mo. Yeah that is how
Speaker 3: she's saying it.
Speaker 1: Oh then I don't like it either.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, And I liked Black Eyed Peas before Fergie
Speaker 3: you did?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what were they before? Well?
Speaker 4: They were the only reason I knew about him is
Speaker 4: it was a free to use album for this snowboard
Speaker 4: video that my my friend and cousin Ross was in,
Speaker 4: and they used Black Eyed Peas several times in the video.
Speaker 3: I did the cover art for the video. It was
Speaker 3: a fun time. It was.
Speaker 4: It was the late nineties. Everything was great and free. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was great.
Speaker 3: The music was free.
Speaker 4: So I was like, I remember getting a lot of
Speaker 4: albums when I was in Tahoe working for these guys
Speaker 4: and this film company, and then that was one of them.
Speaker 3: I'm like, this rap group's great.
Speaker 4: And then I saw a video and they were all
Speaker 4: like X break dancers, and I'm like, I like that
Speaker 4: and uh, and then it became music I don't like.
Speaker 4: And it was around that time, coincidentally that they hired Fergie.
Speaker 1: I wonder if they they were rebranding, and they're just
Speaker 1: like now we're now, we're doing it this way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, in the beginning, they were very much a Jurassic
Speaker 4: five Black Delicious type.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like it was. I was. I was really
Speaker 3: impressed with the music.
Speaker 1: It's from the Ball, which is.
Speaker 3: That it's from the Ball. I believe it. Cypress Hill.
Speaker 1: Now, Cypress Hill even similar to Jurassic five.
Speaker 3: Because that's the thing, that's why they are. I don't.
Speaker 4: They were more like, uh, they were really it was
Speaker 4: confusing because they were like all about smoking weed, but
Speaker 4: then they just also talk about killing people and it's like,
Speaker 4: but those are two different mindset.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they really are almost opposites.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I was never a huge Cypress Hill fan,
Speaker 4: and I know that's gonna get.
Speaker 3: A lot of people all twisted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but well, don't get it twisted. Yeah, but not everybody.
Speaker 3: That's maybe I should learn how to use some of
Speaker 3: these new phrases.
Speaker 1: Don't get it twisted, don't get it twisted. Chris did
Speaker 1: not damn it don't.
Speaker 3: Are we conversationally rapping?
Speaker 1: Yes, I feel like it twisted.
Speaker 3: Chris did not mean what he said.
Speaker 1: White Bread go to bed.
Speaker 3: The sound of a light clicking we should have a
Speaker 3: help of casual talk wrap right before bed.
Speaker 1: Click.
Speaker 4: You pay attention to your breathe and don't bother sneeze
Speaker 4: because that'll wake you up.
Speaker 3: The sleep with this puppy. It's harder than I thought.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we have just canceled the idea we
Speaker 1: just came up with.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Juilliard degree.
Speaker 1: Also, I don't think I've come out in such a
Speaker 1: strong stance against white wrap that I don't think I
Speaker 1: could have been a part of that anyway, right right,
Speaker 1: something I really feel strongly.
Speaker 4: I felt strongly about it back when I was doing
Speaker 4: a little white wrapping well Wed, I had friends. It
Speaker 4: was a weird skateboarding crossover where someone gets tired of
Speaker 4: skateboarding but they already have the baggy pants and the hats,
Speaker 4: and so they're like, I'm going to hang out with
Speaker 4: these visiting gang members in our.
Speaker 3: Small town at Montana. So we go to this house
Speaker 3: and we would drink.
Speaker 4: They had forties in a fridge because they saw that
Speaker 4: in a wrap video. And one of the times, eerily
Speaker 4: there was like a girl upstairs and the people were
Speaker 4: sleeping with her.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's a prostitute. I'm had a weird
Speaker 3: party and they had guns and shit. I thought there
Speaker 3: was a DJ there and they these guys that were
Speaker 3: visiting from California would had pretty much made us wrap
Speaker 3: and it was really fun.
Speaker 4: And we started doing their regular and they were trying
Speaker 4: to start at blood crypts or bloods, I don't know,
Speaker 4: but they were nice and they liked this for some reason.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, are you saying your cryps or bloods adjacent?
Speaker 4: They for one summer and I think they I think
Speaker 4: they would have fun at our expense sometimes and be
Speaker 4: like I would hope so.
Speaker 3: But they also the welcomed us in.
Speaker 4: And there was one time they jumped up and down
Speaker 4: on the hood of my car and I did hear
Speaker 4: a gunshot?
Speaker 3: Would I would run away and get scared and sleep
Speaker 3: in this bush and.
Speaker 4: I was drinking a lot, but my friends would stop
Speaker 4: at my bush and pull me out of it and
Speaker 4: put me in the fort Fair Lane and nice and yeah,
Speaker 4: it was a good time.
Speaker 3: It was I was very young. I mean, this is
Speaker 3: a twenty to eighteen seventeen, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And sorry, there were crips or bloods that were on
Speaker 1: vacation from California in Montana.
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, and they wanted to start a thing. They
Speaker 4: were getting away from some problems. I guess I like that,
Speaker 4: And they could have said that, and they really weren't.
Speaker 4: They were just, Hey, we're bad assts here in this
Speaker 4: quaint liberal arts mountain town.
Speaker 1: I love the idea that the movie we have to
Speaker 1: write it's like eater crips or floods and moved to
Speaker 1: Montana to get away from the pressure and stress of
Speaker 1: being a fucking gang. And then they start like developing
Speaker 1: town in the in the community, the college community.
Speaker 4: While doing a little hiking and experiencing nature, yes the
Speaker 4: first time.
Speaker 1: And at one point, maybe in the middle or near
Speaker 1: the end, they have a majestic experience with an elk.
Speaker 4: Right, it changes everything they could have learned from a
Speaker 4: father who wasn't present.
Speaker 1: That's right. They're like, you are now our father. And
Speaker 1: then the elk snorts then and says, this is the way,
Speaker 1: this is the way of the world.
Speaker 3: It's time for you to experience a rocky mountain drive by.
Speaker 3: He just dances, dance on your face. I don't care
Speaker 3: if you're a blood or a crip, You're going to
Speaker 3: feel the hoof tip. I'm pretty good at it.
Speaker 1: Now you've really proven that you are gifted.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything I wrapped about back then was kind of
Speaker 4: fire sidey animal wrap.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like the dearestick and pick
Speaker 1: and she's wearing uh ca can't I glasses?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just you're right. My ship didn't even rhyme.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm one of those rappers that isn't about rhyming.
Speaker 1: I'm more painting a picture.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's about Cadence hand gusters. Then once again not rhyming.
Speaker 1: And really, let's underline the not rhyming park. Avoiding rhyming
Speaker 1: cannot happen, avoiding the rhyme. Have you ever seen like
Speaker 1: old video of most stuff when he was young and
Speaker 1: he would get into freestyle like circle ups whatever they're called,
Speaker 1: and the ship he would do. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I knew nothing about Wrap. Wasn't necessarily a fan except
Speaker 1: for what was forced on me, like the fucking Beaci
Speaker 1: boys all through high school. Please.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a time there was a place and.
Speaker 1: We can't we lave it in the past ever. But
Speaker 1: oh so in this video it's it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's almost like a wreck, like a rap battle or whatever.
Speaker 1: One guy goes whatever, and then fucking most death steps
Speaker 1: up and then ship he's wrapping referring to things the
Speaker 1: other guy talked about, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: he didn't pre plan it. He was fucking really improvising
Speaker 1: in the moment, right and it is so high level
Speaker 1: and the fucking like the metaphors and the fucking language,
Speaker 1: it's so mind blowing.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of freestyle rap they do it's
Speaker 4: it's kind of like what I'm doing. I'm pretending to
Speaker 4: make stuff up on stage, but I have some planned
Speaker 4: fake mistakes.
Speaker 3: You know, my little I know you're at my fucking kimmick.
Speaker 3: But I think a lot of freestyle rap is that
Speaker 3: they're like, well I can fit in that.
Speaker 4: A lot of it's written, and the only reason is
Speaker 4: freestyle is, uh, you didn't know you were going to
Speaker 4: do it that night.
Speaker 1: Oh I see whatever it's like and.
Speaker 4: You start at a new place and say what's up
Speaker 4: with your shoes? And it's like, I got a rhyme
Speaker 4: that rhymes with shoes.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do that right now, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean?
Speaker 1: Booze, yeah, yeah, blues clues fucking start.
Speaker 4: I have albums and albums of child TV show references.
Speaker 1: That Brian, you're like Steve from Blues Clues. You fucking
Speaker 1: left for college. Remember when Steve left for.
Speaker 3: College but forgot your new shoes?
Speaker 1: Remember that fan from the eighties new Shoes. No, don't
Speaker 1: ask the audience questions. Just keep wrapping. They'll stop.
Speaker 3: That is a rookie mistake with Prestell rap Is asking questions.
Speaker 4: Climb, It's like, wait, why are you talking? But I
Speaker 4: guess I did open it up for public warm.
Speaker 1: I'm being hackled now, God damn it.
Speaker 4: So you were saying you can't watch any videos on
Speaker 4: the internet anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't want to get involved, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there'll be a thing and I'll be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: do want to watch this, but it'll it's just also triggering.
Speaker 3: But the good like all these the teens. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: really cool.
Speaker 4: It's amazing we're in the midst even though everyone's there
Speaker 4: isn't a fucking free loving drug culture thing to it.
Speaker 4: But it feels very like a sixties time right now.
Speaker 1: Yes, for sure.
Speaker 3: And my dad was talking.
Speaker 4: About that on the phone the other day, how it's
Speaker 4: He was real proud to be from a time where
Speaker 4: young people stopped things like the draft that was a
Speaker 4: big yes, And it feels.
Speaker 3: Like that right now.
Speaker 4: And I can't believe how impressive some of these kids
Speaker 4: are to where it's like and everyone's been reading that's
Speaker 4: about how they should lower the voting age now, but
Speaker 4: I really believe it. Yes, it's just that these kids
Speaker 4: are so impressive. Well, I mean, I'm amazed by it.
Speaker 1: It's incredible will And I like the idea of lowering
Speaker 1: the voting age because it's like, well, if you could
Speaker 1: get killed because of the policies, right, you should have
Speaker 1: a voice in it. Yeah, Because they're those kids. It's
Speaker 1: like they've they've taken a thing, you know, this this
Speaker 1: whole thing with like it's it's automatic fucking weapon, assault weapon,
Speaker 1: and it's like and you go to the place where
Speaker 1: children are most vulnerable, and like, you know, when it
Speaker 1: first happens, fucking Sandy Hook, where people nobody could believe
Speaker 1: it happened, nobody could believe that they murdered a classroom
Speaker 1: full of kindergarteners, and then everyone's in denial about it
Speaker 1: until up until this point where it's like we've all
Speaker 1: been in shock and the shock has broken and the
Speaker 1: first people to move are the last ones who got
Speaker 1: shot at who are like fuck you and fuck this
Speaker 1: And it is amazing because I sit at home and
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, this is really important, but also so
Speaker 1: is people who are getting deported to have lived in
Speaker 1: America their entire lives or so is like, there's so
Speaker 1: many horrible things going on right now. Yeah, but these
Speaker 1: kids are like, yeah, well that's important, but we fucking
Speaker 1: just got almost murdered and our classmates got.
Speaker 4: I don't know if it was a town hall, but
Speaker 4: that n I believe it was an NRA town hall where.
Speaker 1: They were feeling these one on CNN.
Speaker 3: Just roasting them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was the best, I mean the clips
Speaker 4: I signed, emotional thing, but it Yes, it was really
Speaker 4: great to watch these adult squirm and these kids who
Speaker 4: are fucking smarter than them, Yes they are, but just
Speaker 4: hand them their asses. I loved it so much. And
Speaker 4: that's who I'm saying. If you're a kid that cares
Speaker 4: that much and you can go through all the stuff
Speaker 4: that most adults don't even go through to be a voter, then.
Speaker 3: They should be able to vote.
Speaker 1: I really think so it's true, and a lot of
Speaker 1: them they can register when they're seventeen, a lot of
Speaker 1: them are about to start voting. That's the coolest part
Speaker 1: is when I turned eighteen, I don't even remember. I
Speaker 1: didn't care about shit. I didn't do anything. I didn't
Speaker 1: just try to.
Speaker 3: Rap and pass out in a bush.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to rap. I just wanted to not rap.
Speaker 1: But it's it's the kind of thing where things I
Speaker 1: think part of the huge relief of it is that
Speaker 1: it does feel like since Trump was elected that the
Speaker 1: world has gone insane. Yeah, and the things that he's repealing,
Speaker 1: you know, he's just basically like, oh yeah, all public
Speaker 1: lands for sale, go mining in fucking Yellowstone, like the
Speaker 1: shit that's happening where you're like, what, No, you can't
Speaker 1: do that, And it's he's doing everything at once.
Speaker 4: What's happening right now is what people would fear if
Speaker 4: only children voted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I have.
Speaker 4: A famous celebrity got elected and now yeah, it's it's
Speaker 4: the most selfish things in the world are happening, and
Speaker 4: so we might as well let children vote because apparently
Speaker 4: old white guys become children.
Speaker 1: Yes, they do well. They and these kids today were
Speaker 1: raised by I would say a majority of parents who
Speaker 1: were engaged, who are healthy, who are not alcoholics, who
Speaker 1: are not fucking We're going to leave you at home
Speaker 1: for seven hours. Like these kids have been raised with confidence.
Speaker 1: They've been raised very.
Speaker 4: Very you know, confidence is what blows me away. No
Speaker 4: one there, they're even shy people anymore. Remember that was
Speaker 4: what I was attracted.
Speaker 3: To, that price quiet and looks like it gets depressed,
Speaker 3: he'll be my friend the same. Now. It's like I
Speaker 3: am a good speaker, right.
Speaker 1: Because since American Idol, like everyone's ready to be on TV.
Speaker 1: Everyone's funny, everyone's like can write a good joke on Twitter,
Speaker 1: Like this is a this is a I don't know
Speaker 1: if the word constituency is the right word, but like,
Speaker 1: this is a group of people who nobody's even been considering,
Speaker 1: who are the most underestimated because they're smarter than everybody, right,
Speaker 1: they know how to use social media better, like they
Speaker 1: know computers backwards and forwards, like they are in charge already.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but and then I assume that and see that
Speaker 3: in kids. But I throw up. Yes, for some reason,
Speaker 3: just some food that I had yesterday made its way
Speaker 3: back into my life.
Speaker 4: No, they but they some of the things these kids
Speaker 4: are saying it's like it's not even It's like would
Speaker 4: come with years of living and some of.
Speaker 3: This, some of this inside.
Speaker 4: I'm I'm I'm really impressed with that shaved head girl.
Speaker 1: Well shaved heed girl.
Speaker 3: Shaved head girl.
Speaker 1: What about the kid?
Speaker 3: That is?
Speaker 1: Okay, I don't even know where we fucking are anymore.
Speaker 3: We've been here before.
Speaker 1: We're in like Sun Valley.
Speaker 3: I think it's beautiful. Let's go skiing.
Speaker 1: Let's go to canyon.
Speaker 3: I went skiing, did you yeah? Not to change the subject, are.
Speaker 1: You thinking of sun Valley?
Speaker 3: Yes, people are yelling not again. Remember it was a
Speaker 3: sun City. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yes, christ park City.
Speaker 3: We couldn't think of park City.
Speaker 1: But like, did you hear the thing where they they
Speaker 1: were interviewing that kid and they were like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's some people online that are calling you a crisis actor.
Speaker 1: And his answer immediately it was Wolf Blitzer. He says
Speaker 1: that to him, and he goes, if anybody saw saw
Speaker 1: me in this our past present production of Fiddler on
Speaker 1: the Roof, they'd know I'm not a crisis actor.
Speaker 3: Oh he made that's so cool.
Speaker 1: He made that joke. Or it's just like instead of
Speaker 1: going freaking out and being like, how Garret whatever, He's
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, that's let's explain how that's all kinds
Speaker 1: of bullshit. And yeah, he was basically saying like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's bullshit. Like we've up until this point, anytimes something
Speaker 1: comes up, no one's questioning. Like the idea that they
Speaker 1: said Sandy Hook grieving parents were crisis actors is one
Speaker 1: of the sickest online, Like it's new things that's happening
Speaker 1: where it's like the disrespect, the insanity of it and
Speaker 1: the and that's like how it goes to show how
Speaker 1: those people will not let go when they're wrong. They
Speaker 1: will not fucking cop to it. They won't back down,
Speaker 1: they won't go, oh my god, this is actually a
Speaker 1: horrible tragedy. And I'm being a fudder.
Speaker 3: They don't care. They don't care.
Speaker 1: I did too. I think they're like our guns overall,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, you've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if that's if it's really I think the most
Speaker 4: Really it's so weird that army. Yeah, arming teachers for
Speaker 4: they I make twenty thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 3: Sure, let me learn some some gun skills.
Speaker 4: Well, I do agree, this is almost a conservative view
Speaker 4: of mine that maybe, uh, security guards and like the
Speaker 4: NRA should pay for metal detectors at all the schools
Speaker 4: if that, if you've got to have your guns, that
Speaker 4: at least make sure they don't get into schools. There's
Speaker 4: metal detectors at schools in Montana for years. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: and other place Bowling alleys have armed security guard. I
Speaker 4: know this school had an armed security guard also, but
Speaker 4: whatever he wasn't he was taking up shit or something.
Speaker 1: They said he hid.
Speaker 3: Oh fuck.
Speaker 1: Well, so I mean, like that whole idea is like,
Speaker 1: but when the ship comes down, whether you're a teacher
Speaker 1: or you're an armed security guard, that's actually not a policeman,
Speaker 1: and that's fake.
Speaker 3: It's the gun.
Speaker 4: There's no you could be the most skilled person ever
Speaker 4: unless you also have a scary ass uh some sub.
Speaker 3: Automatic whatever machine gun Air fifteen.
Speaker 1: But when my sister heard him, Trump suggested that the
Speaker 1: teachers be armed. He's mostly talking about the coaches though,
Speaker 1: because he's a fucking lunatic.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, the ones that are ex military.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh, the history teacher, just say the history teacher.
Speaker 1: Yeah. My sister heard that, and then she was in
Speaker 1: Lombardi's Deli in my hometown, which is like where everyone
Speaker 1: goes to get lunches lunch. Huh, And she goes, Oh,
Speaker 1: this fucking dipshit like at the top for a lunch.
Speaker 1: She goes, I was so angry. She's like, so now
Speaker 1: I don't just have to throw my body in front
Speaker 1: of the bullets to protect other people's kids, Like now
Speaker 1: I have to be shooting a gun, Like, way do
Speaker 1: I have to fucking do everything? And they don't pay me?
Speaker 1: Like every solution is make the teachers do it. And
Speaker 1: it's like, how about you fucking pay the teachers fund schools,
Speaker 1: make it so they don't have to buy fucking pencils.
Speaker 3: Like, how about you to know they'd make them buy
Speaker 3: their own guns.
Speaker 1: That's right. Yeah, and you might get at fifteen percent
Speaker 1: rebate from Smith and Wesson.
Speaker 3: You can only use in the cafeteria for lunches. You
Speaker 3: have to buy yourself, that's right.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's it's lasagna credit. Go ahead.
Speaker 3: One day. I hope our entire economy is lasagna based currency.
Speaker 1: That guy just fully ran a red light with confidence
Speaker 1: and in a mini van.
Speaker 3: Ooh, someone doesn't care about their kids.
Speaker 1: Somebody's robbing a bank. Later, hur.
Speaker 3: Later, church.
Speaker 1: Stick up.
Speaker 3: Well I do, I do.
Speaker 4: I It's so scary, but changing.
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing is like kids will out
Speaker 1: and kids standing up. It's like somebody's doing something because
Speaker 1: guess what. These fucking democratic leaders we all were like, okay,
Speaker 1: lunatics in the house, we got to start fixing it
Speaker 1: have just been like I've only heard from three of
Speaker 1: them for real. They're just like, well, we're gonna fill
Speaker 1: a buster until nothing happens, and then the same thing
Speaker 1: keeps continuing on where it's like, sorry, this needs to
Speaker 1: get fixed, yeah, or just to fucking roll the dice
Speaker 1: and get out there. I mean, like, look, there's a
Speaker 1: bunch of people. I don't really know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: but it's just the movement. It's like these kids being like, no,
Speaker 1: fuck you, we're marching to this fucking state capital. We're
Speaker 1: doing this, We're doing that. Where it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a tidal wave, it's gonna be a
Speaker 1: tide a wave. And it's such a great counter measure too.
Speaker 1: When we were shown all those fucking dipshit alt right
Speaker 1: dudes and their Fred Perry's shirts with their tiki torches
Speaker 1: where everyone went, oh god, this is the like, this
Speaker 1: is the thing that's rising up. No, that's the thing
Speaker 1: that like highly organized, talked about it for years online
Speaker 1: and then they went and held tiki torches.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a small group of fucking two hundred people, right.
Speaker 1: And now this is like, this is a whole different thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a Yeah, what was the statistic that
Speaker 4: the number of people that showed up to a Horsey
Speaker 4: based sex what is that called where they trot around
Speaker 4: and there's a pot plug and the horse play horseplay.
Speaker 4: There's like seven thousand people went to that specific meeting
Speaker 4: and only two hundred of these fucking dipshits, right, but
Speaker 4: with nice haircuts. I mean I liked all their hair.
Speaker 1: Look, we no one can argue that they're not stashing forward.
Speaker 1: But yeah, but the news presents it like, well here's
Speaker 1: your new reality where it's.
Speaker 3: Like, no, it's fucking not Yeah it isn't. That's yeah,
Speaker 3: that's news also doing a bad job. Yeah not business.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm not this is gonna sound it is.
Speaker 4: There is some fake news out there, Karen.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I got to do some research. Well
Speaker 3: I'm going did you know I'm doing this tour?
Speaker 4: Is Paul Ryan doing these town halls, and there's more, yeah,
Speaker 4: more venues. It's places that I can't get in as
Speaker 4: a comic, and I'm doing a great place in Chicago.
Speaker 4: You Claire, we might be doing Jamesville where Paul Ryan
Speaker 4: from Minneapolis, I'm now doing comedy on State Street. It's
Speaker 4: happened in the last four days and so I now
Speaker 4: have to I mean, I'll field some questions from the
Speaker 4: audience as Paul Ryan, and it's going to be moderated
Speaker 4: by Andy Mane, who's a well informed, funny comic from Portland.
Speaker 4: That made me do it was like against my will.
Speaker 4: She's like, we're doing these town halls and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm scared. I don't want a real fan of Paul
Speaker 3: Ryan's to show up.
Speaker 4: With a gunpointed at my snowflake face.
Speaker 3: But I need to now do the work. It'll be
Speaker 3: in April and they're all back to gigs.
Speaker 1: Just oh that's great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I have to do the research and I
Speaker 4: have to learn and do my homework, and I'm going
Speaker 4: to become a very political person in the next few months.
Speaker 3: I hope you're ready for them.
Speaker 1: That's I'm not I reject it. Okay, thank you, please
Speaker 1: cancel the right away. You should talk to Paul gil Martin.
Speaker 1: You know, when Paul gil Martin does that character, you know.
Speaker 3: What I even thought about. It's where I'm like, am
Speaker 3: I stepping on his toes a little bit? Does he
Speaker 3: do it anymore?
Speaker 1: He? I don't know, but you should talk to him
Speaker 1: about it, because he couldn't be a cooler person, right,
Speaker 1: He is the best, and it's not the same thing
Speaker 1: like his guy is made up. It would be really
Speaker 1: funny if he did it too with you. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Because we are going to do one in LA at
Speaker 4: the end, and hopefully Randy Brice we've talked to his
Speaker 4: people and he hopefully will debate with me. That's totally
Speaker 4: just a forum for him to actually talk policy and
Speaker 4: then for me to just be dumb and and cater
Speaker 4: to what he's trying to say. But I'm just most things,
Speaker 4: I don't have to be That's the luxury of this character.
Speaker 4: I don't really have to know too much because Paul
Speaker 4: Ryan himself doesn't and backtalks and avoids answering things and
Speaker 4: contradicts himself. That can all be fun to do comedically,
Speaker 4: and that's those are the quote jokes that I have
Speaker 4: to write.
Speaker 1: Well, it's the you find those like fucking James Adomian
Speaker 1: doing Bernie Sanders where he just started going the ten
Speaker 1: percent of the two percent of the fifteen. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you just find the thing that they're always doing that
Speaker 1: bugs people the most.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's comes so easy for James.
Speaker 4: But I think if I do a little research, and
Speaker 4: because basically my the only impression I'm doing is then
Speaker 4: I'm drawing a widow's beak on my hair.
Speaker 1: Well and also he does smile, he do just go
Speaker 1: shit eating grin of like, yeah, well.
Speaker 4: I hold I hold my breath while I smile and
Speaker 4: hopefully and I raise my eyebrows. There's facial things I
Speaker 4: can do. But he's got a voice that isn't I
Speaker 4: wish he did talk there.
Speaker 3: We all do. And I don't know where that voice
Speaker 3: came from. It's what we all wish a troll twelve
Speaker 3: years ago. But yeah, I it is. I'm gonna I
Speaker 3: have to the point is I have to watch a
Speaker 3: lot of these videos that you don't.
Speaker 4: Want to watch anymore, and I don't want to watch anymore.
Speaker 4: I'm not the trumpy ones.
Speaker 3: But I have to watch a lot of Paul Ryan
Speaker 3: yeah and pick up on his bullshit? Yeah what what
Speaker 3: there is of maybe kind of a personality and duplicate it,
Speaker 3: but the guy's not his personality.
Speaker 1: Plus, can I pitch something?
Speaker 3: Please help me?
Speaker 1: I think you should have a gabble okay, but nothing
Speaker 1: to hit it on, but like I get just a
Speaker 1: gabble around. And I also think you should have a
Speaker 1: bunch of cash on a any money clip that if
Speaker 1: you don't know what to say or somebody asks you
Speaker 1: a challenging question, you just pull it out and start
Speaker 1: counting money, like do things like that where you're just like,
Speaker 1: here's all the different ways you could be an intense douchebag,
Speaker 1: right right? That isn't even necessarily based in reality.
Speaker 4: Of course, I'm gonna lift weights on stage when I
Speaker 4: don't know something, of course, so I'm gonna have some
Speaker 4: visional of course, I'm going to come out on a
Speaker 4: skateboard listening to mate against the machine and that is
Speaker 4: not happy that he likes them. Yes, you know there's
Speaker 4: going to be and I'm out of nowhere. I'm going
Speaker 4: to say, today isn't the place to talk about guns.
Speaker 4: I just have a plan things. But again, I have
Speaker 4: a lot of writing to do. But I'm very excited.
Speaker 4: It's it makes sense to book a thing and then
Speaker 4: have to work on it.
Speaker 3: Yes, be weird to like create a show and.
Speaker 4: Then say now so the booking process and then find
Speaker 4: that no one wants to see it, But yes, it's
Speaker 4: I'm real excited about it.
Speaker 1: Also, it's good to have that a little bit of
Speaker 1: pressure where when you all speak for myself, when I
Speaker 1: do stand up comedy, I don't care and it shows
Speaker 1: in every fucking way possible.
Speaker 3: I have that too sometimes. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So if you're hooked into like you want to
Speaker 1: deliver this thing because you've been asked to, you know,
Speaker 1: like it, it makes it more fun and interesting. And
Speaker 1: then it's a little bit of that like it revs
Speaker 1: it up because there's a little pressure.
Speaker 4: There's a fire under my ass that does not exist
Speaker 4: for just doing my what I've done for twelve seventeen years.
Speaker 4: You know, I got some jokes, I'll riff around them. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I actually have to do some work and I want
Speaker 4: it to be good. Yeah, just because people are already
Speaker 4: buying tickets and these venues are already promoting and I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, oh boy, yeah, I have to make the thing
Speaker 3: that people are going to be watching. Yeah a lot.
Speaker 4: I mean when I made these videos, that was me
Speaker 4: just talking out of my ass and trying to be funny.
Speaker 3: It's not it's not gonna. I don't have to become
Speaker 3: a politician, but I do have.
Speaker 1: To ta you just have to write jokes to get
Speaker 1: you out of type places, which they do all the time, except.
Speaker 3: Jokes right right. Yes, I do want to make sure
Speaker 3: there's laughs in it though.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's the only thing I'm really good at trying to
Speaker 3: make people laugh.
Speaker 1: That's the fun part.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is the fun part. Okay, I'm done talking
Speaker 4: about my thing. That was a shameless plot. I'm very excited.
Speaker 3: If you didn't know about it, no, aless, just it
Speaker 3: just happened, right Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's been a couple of gigs, came together yesterday evening.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all happening now.
Speaker 1: That's fun. Yeah that I love to be on the road.
Speaker 1: It's so fun.
Speaker 4: It is going to be fun. I just likely back
Speaker 4: to back days. Yeah, I've never you know, I've always
Speaker 4: just flown somewhere. It's like, well, I have a week
Speaker 4: off till the next thing or a month. Of course
Speaker 4: I go home, but for it to be you know,
Speaker 4: this is going to be April thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth, the sixteenth,
Speaker 4: off seventeenth in Minneapolis.
Speaker 3: It's back to back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 4: And they keep adding up because we have something to
Speaker 4: call a club and say, hey, do you have an
Speaker 4: off night?
Speaker 3: It's a Tuesday. We will go to that city now.
Speaker 4: And I'm going to be traveling with a group too.
Speaker 4: I don't haven't thought about where we're going to sleep.
Speaker 4: All spitball is outside of our putts.
Speaker 1: Okay, good, good guys, because I think you can airbnb.
Speaker 1: I think there's relatives in town.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah, I have had relatives in every town.
Speaker 1: That's a that's it seemed like it was going to
Speaker 1: go in a rap direction. I was got nervous.
Speaker 3: I think we've done enough freestyle hip hopping.
Speaker 1: Please for one episode. Is there anything that we need
Speaker 1: that we need to discuss?
Speaker 3: Oh? Yes, oh yes, we're getting close to wrapping it up.
Speaker 1: Is it wrap up time?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I feel like I've talked too much during the the
Speaker 4: What do what do you have to say?
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get back to what est thing. Well, I
Speaker 1: just realized, like listening to talk about that, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I just was talking to somebody because somebody invited me
Speaker 1: to do their stand up show, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't not doing stand up these days?
Speaker 3: And then are you what about? I want you to
Speaker 3: remember you promised the world that you'd start a band.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, and I told you.
Speaker 4: I've been listening to a lot of specifically the Nico
Speaker 4: case fronted New pornoun for his songs, and I think
Speaker 4: you should start a band like that because you can
Speaker 4: sing like her.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I mean I wish I could sing like her.
Speaker 1: That would be very cool.
Speaker 3: I want you to be in a band that it
Speaker 3: can happen. Just put up a thing.
Speaker 4: My friend Colin moved from Missoula. He was in a
Speaker 4: Blue Grassy band. He moved from Missoula to Portland. Put
Speaker 4: up a thing and an entire band answered his note
Speaker 4: card at a coffee shop Bolton Board and then the
Speaker 4: band was the Decembrist.
Speaker 1: What yeah, are you being serious?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You're friends with Colin from the December. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah I did all there. There was a band called Tarkio.
Speaker 4: When we're in Missoula, and I did there. I'd made
Speaker 4: temporary tattoos and t shirts and stuff for him.
Speaker 3: Wow, they would go to my improv stuff.
Speaker 4: So when I go to Portland, he he comes in
Speaker 4: a disguise to my concerts, to my comedy concerts, to.
Speaker 1: The comedy concert.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he was like weird sunglasses and a fishing hat.
Speaker 4: Because by his wife is a very very good illustrator.
Speaker 4: And I went to art school with her and we
Speaker 4: had cartooning classes together where we'd be the only four
Speaker 4: people in there. Oh, specific drawing classes, but they make
Speaker 4: like children's books and she illustrates them and he writes them.
Speaker 3: They're cool people.
Speaker 1: That's very cool.
Speaker 4: But that he really did just say, hey, I'm a songwriter.
Speaker 4: I don't know what his card said, but I do.
Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure that all of the people in that
Speaker 4: band were already an outfit and then and then he
Speaker 4: just fronted them suddenly.
Speaker 3: It probably doesn't usually work that.
Speaker 1: Way, but I mean, who always Let's.
Speaker 3: Go to a coffee shop and you put up a card.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, I'm gonna pull over here at Tokyo
Speaker 1: Yakatori and we're gonna put up a card in the
Speaker 1: bathroom and then we'll start. Uh, it's almost like a
Speaker 1: jam band from Tokyo Yakatori. There's people who like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have.
Speaker 4: To keep practicing there and meeting there. Yes, that's where
Speaker 4: the card got put up.
Speaker 1: It's where the car gets put up. Is kind of
Speaker 1: how you had to base your band and really theme
Speaker 1: your band out. And I would actually name a band
Speaker 1: Tokyo Yakatori if other people were into that.
Speaker 3: It is a good name.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good.
Speaker 4: I'm really fun to hear the insights coop on the
Speaker 4: music industry.
Speaker 1: Ye, how it actually worked?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what it's.
Speaker 1: Really like my friends, I talk about them all the time.
Speaker 1: But my friend Kevin's band sure sure when they were
Speaker 1: changing their name, their band used to be Junior and
Speaker 1: then they were changing the name, and he asked me,
Speaker 1: because if you have any ideas for the band name,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear them. And my best idea it.
Speaker 3: Wasn't called Junior Junior, was it.
Speaker 1: Nope?
Speaker 3: Okay, there is a band called Junior Junior.
Speaker 1: That true? Yeah, yeah, maybe that's why they changed it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But my band name suggestion was swift Water Rescue, and
Speaker 1: I thought that was the best, great fucking name. It is,
Speaker 1: all right, So maybe we go from.
Speaker 4: There and it is something my brother in law teaches.
Speaker 4: Is that true as a fireman? Yeah, there he was
Speaker 4: with a bunch of other firemen and one of the
Speaker 4: guys actually he was talking about how to rescue someone
Speaker 4: in this raging river and then while he was teaching it,
Speaker 4: a real person was in the water and he rescued
Speaker 4: him in front of everyone, so kind of like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 3: It was amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe maybe my bance thing is that it's swift water.
Speaker 1: It's swift water Rescue, but out of Tokyo Yakatori.
Speaker 3: Swift Water Rescue, Tokyo swift Water Rescue Revival.
Speaker 1: Ya Yakatori tkd CCR. One of the great bands that
Speaker 1: whose posters are so long because the name won't stop. Yeah,
Speaker 1: going down the.
Speaker 3: Page, one of the reasons Fogerty went.
Speaker 5: So lo.
Speaker 1: Uh oh, that's that's a pretty big church. Now we're in.
Speaker 3: Oh no, we're in.
Speaker 1: This is Glendale right or is this Bourbank?
Speaker 3: I don't know where we are.
Speaker 1: We're halfway between Burbank's and Glendale. I feel like, no,
Speaker 1: this is Glendale.
Speaker 3: I think, well it is windy as fuck, wendy as
Speaker 3: it was. I went.
Speaker 4: I was excited because I haven't Mammoth is very far
Speaker 4: away and it was a six hour drive.
Speaker 3: But my roommate's girlfriend has a pass.
Speaker 4: There and her friends, her nursing friends, have passes there,
Speaker 4: and they let me sleep on the couch.
Speaker 3: But I didn't sleep because there was a puppy, and
Speaker 3: boy did he make noises anywhere?
Speaker 1: What kind?
Speaker 4: He was real cute, but again I just couldn't sleep,
Speaker 4: real cuddly, but once again I am allergic. I snored,
Speaker 4: so no one else slept. It was a real disaster.
Speaker 4: Puppy but cute as the dickens. I just want to
Speaker 4: put his ear in my mouth and bite it, not
Speaker 4: with my kind with my lips.
Speaker 3: He was very strong and pit bully in the face,
Speaker 3: but he was he was not intimidating. He was just
Speaker 3: a happy doggie. But so he was like, I know,
Speaker 3: actually nothing right home about theme. But it was so windy.
Speaker 4: It was one degree and windy, and that mountain was
Speaker 4: made of ice, and you don't expect like it was
Speaker 4: a two day situation where it was like the mountain was, Oh,
Speaker 4: I don't know if that guy's talking to me or
Speaker 4: he's crazy. But well, when that's what happened up there,
Speaker 4: some I got I was just talking to some girl.
Speaker 4: Everyone was getting drinks, and then some guy just came
Speaker 4: up and punched me in the face. It was the
Speaker 4: most bizarre What Yeah, he hit me in the jaw,
Speaker 4: and I looked at him and I just expected him
Speaker 4: to keep looking at me and realize I wasn't who
Speaker 4: he thought I was.
Speaker 3: That's how shocked I was.
Speaker 4: And then but then once I realized he was just
Speaker 4: randomly punching and he didn't hit me, and my jaw
Speaker 4: hurt a little, but he didn't hit me that hard.
Speaker 4: And then I thought, well, this must be the boyfriend
Speaker 4: of this girl I was talking.
Speaker 3: I was like, how are you like? It was not.
Speaker 4: And then that guy, her actual husband, came up. She's like,
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. That guy had no reason to do that,
Speaker 4: and she was.
Speaker 3: They were.
Speaker 4: All of his friends were shocked, except for his one
Speaker 4: other friend that wanted to fight also, and then they
Speaker 4: saw my Nate came over and they were like, oh,
Speaker 4: it looks like that guy could beat us up, and
Speaker 4: so they answered to it. But it was right when
Speaker 4: I was like, no, this is happening. I'm very angry
Speaker 4: because it did make me mad.
Speaker 3: Well wait, sorry, then I was a fifteen year old.
Speaker 3: I wanted to fight him.
Speaker 1: But the friend punched you because he thought you were
Speaker 1: trying to pick up on my friends.
Speaker 4: I really don't think there is any reason behind it.
Speaker 4: He came up to me and I smiled, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: what's that?
Speaker 3: What it?
Speaker 4: Maybe he misread, but he immediately punched me so quickly
Speaker 4: that I think it was in his plans.
Speaker 1: Oh, walking up to me, and then he's maybe crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he was like a little guy. I easily
Speaker 3: could have taken him.
Speaker 4: He was like I remember I called him soft face,
Speaker 4: and I kept calling him soft face, and I think
Speaker 4: that guy because he did have like kind of a
Speaker 4: soft looking face with a slight mustache.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like I don't like my that I have
Speaker 3: like a not I don't have a lot of definitive
Speaker 3: lines in my face. It's kind of a bretty face.
Speaker 4: He was a real retty Stonelli's in the face and
Speaker 4: I so calling him soft face really got to him.
Speaker 4: And I was filled with so much energy like a
Speaker 4: spring that I wanted to I have a lot of
Speaker 4: anger in me, but it was it was the wrong time.
Speaker 4: When someone hits you, you have to hit them right back,
Speaker 4: right then. Yeah, you can't wait for all these people.
Speaker 3: To get involved.
Speaker 4: And then that's kind of what I got upset too late,
Speaker 4: and I've been upset about it.
Speaker 3: I keep having nightmares where I hit him back. Anyway,
Speaker 3: the point is, well, you.
Speaker 1: Got punched in the face, You're not in the wrong.
Speaker 3: It wasn't that.
Speaker 4: It was not It was just a surprise. It's like
Speaker 4: it was like, well, my face is hot. I think
Speaker 4: that guy just hit me. And then the next day
Speaker 4: I jaw heard, but it was it was really out
Speaker 4: of note. But there's a weird thing about me, people do.
Speaker 4: I've been punched a lot.
Speaker 3: I don't know why.
Speaker 4: I really it sounds like if someone was telling this story,
Speaker 4: it would if I were you, I'd think, well, Chris
Speaker 4: isn't getting the whole story.
Speaker 3: It probably was.
Speaker 4: It really where I absolutely was in a good mood
Speaker 4: just and people were dancing. It was like a mountain
Speaker 4: bar where there was a DJ and everyone's dancing and
Speaker 4: it was kind of fun, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: some dude punched my face.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, my only regret is that I didn't hit him back.
Speaker 3: Isn't that. I know it's not healthy, but it really is.
Speaker 1: Well, no, because you I think it's very natural because
Speaker 1: someone someone comes at you, they were triggering all your
Speaker 1: fight responses.
Speaker 3: It's just I didn't know mine kicked in so late.
Speaker 1: Well because you didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 4: I was like, he thinks I'm someone else. Let me
Speaker 4: wait here, and he's going to go, oh my god,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I thought you were Gary.
Speaker 1: That's fucking athole time of my life.
Speaker 3: I'd say. People always think I'm a Gary.
Speaker 1: It's your you are Gary esk. I will agree with that.
Speaker 1: But also, that's so like if he wasn't overtly drunk
Speaker 1: or like, there's no indicators that it would be happening.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really he was drunk. Yeah, I you know.
Speaker 1: It's funny. I have dreams sometimes, like I had a
Speaker 1: friend who we fought a lot gurbally, and every once
Speaker 1: in a while I have a dream I punched her,
Speaker 1: and then the whole dream would just be the aftermath
Speaker 1: of oh my god, what's wrong with you? Why did
Speaker 1: you do that? That's so crazy or whatever, And I
Speaker 1: would wake up so relieved that I never actually punched
Speaker 1: her buddy, but it was because I was just so
Speaker 1: mad and frustrated by her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that's yeah, it does. It would be relieved,
Speaker 3: because the opposite, even when you're in the right and
Speaker 3: there's a fight, especially as I get older, but even
Speaker 3: when I was young, you wake up feeling terrible. It's awful.
Speaker 4: Yes, I had to hangover emotionally from just getting punched
Speaker 4: and not even fighting back, just that the next day
Speaker 4: it was.
Speaker 3: Kind of bummed out all day. Yes, done cocaine or something.
Speaker 1: Well that because there is the uh that's like the
Speaker 1: conflict of any kind freaks you out. Like that's why
Speaker 1: people get so fucking crazy when they feel threatened in
Speaker 1: whatever way, because it's that it stirs up in you
Speaker 1: that thing of like, well, what are you gonna fucking
Speaker 1: do now? Like everybody has a certain amount of PTSD,
Speaker 1: everybody has a certain amount of like this is what
Speaker 1: my mother used to always say or whatever, where you're
Speaker 1: all fucked up and you don't even know why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so crazy.
Speaker 3: He really had that look on his face of what
Speaker 3: are you gonna do now? And I was like, oh, man,
Speaker 3: I should have answered it.
Speaker 1: Do you think he was like mentally ill. Do you
Speaker 1: think he was wrong? It was?
Speaker 4: He did seem that kind of behavior. It's like, you're
Speaker 4: either it was a bet. I thought someone bet him
Speaker 4: I dare you to hit a random person?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it wasn't random because you were talking to
Speaker 1: his friend's wife.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a but again, that girl's husband came
Speaker 4: up and he's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry
Speaker 4: that she's not even his girlfriend, that this is my wife.
Speaker 4: I don't know why he did that. And I was like, well,
Speaker 4: all I was doing and then she was like, he
Speaker 4: was just talking to me. It was I mean, it
Speaker 4: was a lady.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It wasn't like some siren that had me all wound up.
Speaker 3: Just some lady in a park.
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 3: I don't remember what I said. Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3: It would I'd love to get that guy's perspective. That
Speaker 3: would be a way to find out you were you.
Speaker 1: Did you stick your tongue in her ear?
Speaker 3: I had my tongue between my fingers and I.
Speaker 1: Like that lady. And then he walked up and said,
Speaker 1: how dare you mock Jerry Lewis? Oh?
Speaker 3: I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: He was fan.
Speaker 3: God rest, God rest that woman.
Speaker 1: God rest that of comedy ship.
Speaker 3: It's amazing how many people were like, I am so heartbroken.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker 3: No, I know, mind, I don't think so, Blaine, not
Speaker 3: on this time piece. Not a lot of people aren't
Speaker 3: wearing watches anymore.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: Not on that cell phone, Apple Apple watch on the SUNDI.
Speaker 1: About to about to pass the piclic Lanes, very special
Speaker 1: place for me.
Speaker 3: Oh is that?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 4: I like bull and we try to go bowling in
Speaker 4: Mammoth But it was everything there's really defensive.
Speaker 3: I didn't know, just the cab ride to the place
Speaker 3: with twenty bucks.
Speaker 4: But it seems like bowling is cool again. And it's
Speaker 4: fucking not in Montana. It's still like two dollars a game.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's expensive.
Speaker 3: I enjoy bowling though. Is that it's fun? I want
Speaker 3: to get good at it. It's something I know I
Speaker 3: can do later in life.
Speaker 1: Yep, it's super fun. It's you. You can talk, you
Speaker 1: can pay attention to the game. You can stop paying
Speaker 1: attention to the game, right, you can eat finger foods
Speaker 1: and then stick your fingers.
Speaker 4: It is something that I can't believe people are okay
Speaker 4: with it? Is there could there be a dirty or hole.
Speaker 1: It's so disgusting and hilarious.
Speaker 3: And I'm talking about my mouth.
Speaker 1: No, it is gro It's like it's so gross.
Speaker 3: It hit me.
Speaker 4: Last time I went bowling, I was eating fries and
Speaker 4: then sticking my fingers in, which again I have tiny hands.
Speaker 4: People are like, why do your soft, dainty little hands.
Speaker 4: But suddenly when I'm bowling, my fingers are huge will
Speaker 4: Chamberlain flanges, and I don't. I can't find a ball
Speaker 4: that will house these what our giant fingers only in
Speaker 4: a bowling alley. It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Oh, because like the I see it, because the drilled
Speaker 1: holes are so small.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's because I'm going for like eight pound balls.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you always doing the pink ball, the pinkest
Speaker 1: ball you can findliest those are for girls? Oh nuts,
Speaker 1: there's a real delineation between girl balls and boy ball.
Speaker 3: You know. I go for the big, black chipped one.
Speaker 3: What's crazy is give me your worst house ball.
Speaker 1: Like one that has metal inside.
Speaker 3: That's what it is. People used to be smaller, and
Speaker 3: I'm getting these old balls. That's right.
Speaker 1: It's like when you shop at it, sixty fingers. Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. It's like when you shop at the
Speaker 1: first one and you get something that's from the fifties
Speaker 1: and it's like.
Speaker 3: How is this an extra large?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, why is there still a dead guy's boa?
Speaker 1: Well, because they didn't used to give cow's hormone.
Speaker 3: And he died from sweating.
Speaker 1: To death in that jacket. We when we played bowling
Speaker 1: over Christmas.
Speaker 3: You play bowling, We played bulowl.
Speaker 1: We when we went to check out, it was like
Speaker 1: one hundred and something dollars, and me and my sister
Speaker 1: Nad are all like what the fuck? Like what did
Speaker 1: we do? Because we just kept playing.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, and there was like eight of us.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like you gotta figure out either when is
Speaker 4: it twenty five dollars for the hour or whatever that
Speaker 4: kind of deal, or how many games?
Speaker 3: You know, lets milk these games?
Speaker 4: Yeah, really spend time setting up being shot because if
Speaker 4: you just bowl willy nilly, like let's go till this
Speaker 4: isn't boring.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very expense.
Speaker 1: It's very expensive, and it's also doesn't seem like it
Speaker 1: would be, so it's always a surprise.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like seventy dollars.
Speaker 3: This was a quarter. My whole life.
Speaker 1: But also no one likes doing this but me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: why is it expensive? Mood?
Speaker 3: Because they think they're going to be good at it?
Speaker 1: But you know what's fun if you go on a
Speaker 1: league night and you can just watch people who are
Speaker 1: good at it, like be great at it. It's so
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: When I first moved here and someone at a birthday
Speaker 4: party and Chris Hardwick was there and there was karaoke
Speaker 4: and I was like, man, that's a good singer.
Speaker 3: And then we bowled and he's a professional buller for.
Speaker 1: His dad was his dad was yeah, And I was
Speaker 1: like I couldn't, Like.
Speaker 4: I can't even I'm starting to learn how to curve it,
Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, it is really the secret to consistent strikes,
Speaker 4: Is it true? Is it coming in at an angle?
Speaker 4: My whole life, I've tried to throw it as hard
Speaker 4: as I can straight, and if it's a little off
Speaker 4: center of that front pan, I'm like, that'll be a strike.
Speaker 3: But not always.
Speaker 4: Every once in a while, it's like this situation where
Speaker 4: it's like snake eyes or whatever. Split yep, one ten
Speaker 4: split you know.
Speaker 1: The one ten Yeah, the one ten split down by
Speaker 1: the the one on one the third exit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I yeah, it's I am. I've gotten aware.
Speaker 4: I'm like, get my, is this boring?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I keep my thumb out and ask me and it hurts,
Speaker 4: hurts my wrist, But I'm starting to learn how to
Speaker 4: curve it and it can hit anywhere. If it's coming
Speaker 4: in at an angle, they all go down.
Speaker 3: Baby.
Speaker 1: It's so cool. Also that way, to me, there's people
Speaker 1: who are like, oh, I like bowling, and then there's
Speaker 1: people like I huck the bowling ball like a softball sideways. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's next level. That's like, that's so exciting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it really is. And their leg curls up behind
Speaker 3: their back like a skater. Yeah, some kind of.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they throw a hand up, yeah, in a gesture, and.
Speaker 4: Their shirt has a pin stripe down one side, and
Speaker 4: their name is Guy Fieri.
Speaker 1: And they licked the ball.
Speaker 3: That's my favorite. You think it's bad just eating fries
Speaker 3: with these fingers. I licked the day of ball. I
Speaker 3: lick that.
Speaker 1: Fucking ball the holes.
Speaker 3: I don't think if you're tuning.
Speaker 1: It right then, I mean I think we just shut
Speaker 1: it down. I think we actually wrung every possible bit
Speaker 1: of talking out of this.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I car had a lot of talking boy today,
Speaker 3: and I think I covered them clearly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you did great. I think you covered politics. I
Speaker 1: think you covered sports. I think you covered friendships without
Speaker 1: him Sandler.
Speaker 3: Did I dominated this? Should I?
Speaker 1: No? No, I'm not saying that.
Speaker 3: No, I'm saying I'm saying it.
Speaker 1: Oh you're saying it, then it's true.
Speaker 3: Here I am saying something again.
Speaker 1: Oh what a surprise you're saying it.
Speaker 3: Oh, man, this is fun. But this is good podcast.
Speaker 3: We're good at this.
Speaker 1: We're fucking good at talking. I can fucking check my
Speaker 1: texts and keep talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: You I wish I had your multitasking abilities. I can't
Speaker 4: even hold a mic and say the word multites.
Speaker 1: Well it is two things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's yeah.
Speaker 1: Do you have upcoming shows that you want people to go.
Speaker 3: To before there's Paul Ryan stuff that happens in April.
Speaker 4: I'm just I'm doing a show next month at Big
Speaker 4: Sky because they said I could get some tickets to
Speaker 4: ski show on the day before Saint Patrick's Day. I'm
Speaker 4: at Big Sky, Montana, the ski area. It's it's just
Speaker 4: past poseman. If you are someone that's able to go,
Speaker 4: you know where it is.
Speaker 1: Wait a second vote, it's a comedy show at the Ski.
Speaker 4: Place at Loan Peak Brewing Company. Oh cool, they have
Speaker 4: they've had shows there before.
Speaker 1: And and yeah, and now they are going to again.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The guy that runs at his Pals with Joe Borden,
Speaker 4: a friend of mine that writes on Tasha's show, and
Speaker 4: he wrote on that reality show I was on, And
Speaker 4: oh great, I realized when I got in contact with
Speaker 4: him there was a text from him from three years
Speaker 4: ago saying, hey, do you want to.
Speaker 3: Stand up here? And I just do you ever, It's
Speaker 3: so amazing when you find these old texts. It's like,
Speaker 3: it's good to meet you. Also, sorry I ignored your
Speaker 3: text from the two from three years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like the last the last texts two years
Speaker 1: ago and they're like hey, what's up.
Speaker 4: Yeah, before you reconnect with someone, you're like, oh, let
Speaker 4: me see if I have their number.
Speaker 3: And the last text was like fuck you. It's like, oh,
Speaker 3: I forgot that. I'm that's a person I shouldn't talk to.
Speaker 1: Oh that's there's a reason we're not connected anymore. Yeah, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: then big Sky comedy situation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then and then in April I do the
Speaker 3: town Halls and what these are is that going to
Speaker 3: take place in that you know? So far?
Speaker 4: So far it is you Claire, Wisconsin. It is Chicago, Illinois.
Speaker 4: It is Madison, Wisconsin. Also not in that order. I
Speaker 4: think it is in that order actually, and then no,
Speaker 4: that's the last one and Minneapolis is one.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's awesome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think more to come. It's it's uh, it's
Speaker 4: it's working out. A thing's working out.
Speaker 1: Well. And also no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm just being this car.
Speaker 3: Well we go to you're the rest of your head
Speaker 3: on the steering.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, I can't do it. Don't make
Speaker 1: me do stand up.
Speaker 3: I want to make you, but I'm not going to
Speaker 3: make anyone.
Speaker 1: Well, I told my friend, I don't think I got
Speaker 1: to this part of the story. But I told my
Speaker 1: friend when I said, I'm not doing stand up anywhere
Speaker 1: I go because the last time I did a set,
Speaker 1: I realized all my jokes were these weird, kind of
Speaker 1: subtle compliments to myself. Like every joke, the point of
Speaker 1: every joke was like, well, here's how somebody was interested
Speaker 1: in me in some way, And then I just think
Speaker 1: I've seen you.
Speaker 3: I don't think you do that.
Speaker 1: It just felt bad. It was like when you step
Speaker 1: back and then you see the larger pattern of your
Speaker 1: fucking insecurity. Anyhow, my band, Swift Water Tokyo Raman will
Speaker 1: be playing down at the La River on Thursdays. Please
Speaker 1: come down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's.
Speaker 1: We're to be rescuing fishermen out of the La River
Speaker 1: from Thursday to Sunday. Very literal band name, Yep, it's
Speaker 1: more of a service that we provide the.
Speaker 3: County musical rescue.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not emotional. Don't get us confused. Don't get it twisted.
Speaker 4: Everybody too fast for my comfort. Well, I'm Ami said
Speaker 4: for you to start a band, and he was everyone.
Speaker 4: We made a promise.
Speaker 3: What was my promise?
Speaker 1: Your promise was to impersonate Paul Ryan around the country.
Speaker 3: Right, Okay, I can't remember.
Speaker 1: We both had these were our New Year's promises. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we had them, and uh was yours? Was yours surfing?
Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. I would never make that promise.
Speaker 1: I thought it was something like doing blah blah blah more.
Speaker 4: Oh right, well, I mean that's not important. Okay, I'm
Speaker 4: okay with breaking that promise.
Speaker 1: All right. Well, since we're at my house and my
Speaker 1: neighbor Chuck will be lived if I hunt hor Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: well let's not do it.
Speaker 3: I'll do, I'll do. Malforn. Okay, okay, thank you for
Speaker 3: listening to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: D y n A R oh my battery? Are you leaving?
Speaker 1: I you wanna way back home? Either way we want
Speaker 1: to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and a Turmano and Gabe. We want to send
Speaker 2: you off inside. We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared or was it fine?
Speaker 2: Malforn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and chriss mm hm