WEBVTT - Should Women and Men Handle Money Differently? #317 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.400 Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I and 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:05.080 Matt and today we're asking the question should women and 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:27.960 men handle money differently? Oh dude, I can't believe we 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:31.760 actually went through with this topic. I'd like to ask 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:33.879 questions that could potentially get me in trouble that we're 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:36.400 actually going to do an episode on this, But we 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:38.560 you know, after discussion, you and I thought that there, 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:40.440 you know, there were definitely some insights that we can 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.120 glean from talking about how it is that men and 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:46.000 women might be handling their money differently. And then there's 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:48.319 just so many studies to that inform us about how 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:50.760 men and women have handled money differently in the past. 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:53.280 But I think, too, um, there's a way forward after 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.480 we see that that information, and I think, yeah, you 0:00:56.520 --> 0:00:58.720 and I are gonna have some some good advice, hopefully 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:01.480 to share for men and women based on the stats 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:02.960 that we've seen and the studies that are out there. 0:01:03.040 --> 0:01:05.000 And we're gonna also do our very best to not 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:08.240 completely step in it, because that's what I feel like 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:09.920 right now, is that we're about to step in it. Well, 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:11.240 I promise we're not going to come at this from 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:14.360 like a madman perspective. Okay, even though we do like 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.800 a nice beverage during our work day as well. Before 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:19.160 we get into that, though, you want to talk about 0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.040 this fence issue that you've got going on and my 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:23.640 hyping it up. Maybe it's not an issue. Actually, well 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:25.839 it remains we seen whether it's an issue or not yet. 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:28.800 So at one of my rental properties, um my my 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.360 next door neighbor who actually have never met I we 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:33.759 used to live in that home. My next door neighbor 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.840 rent out his home and and so even when we 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:39.040 lived in that house, I never met him, but he 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:41.360 left a note on the door saying, hey, please call me. 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.080 I want to talk about some stuff. My tenant really 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.320 that on over to me, and it turns out he 0:01:45.360 --> 0:01:48.320 wants to replace the fence that goes in between both 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.600 of our yards. And I will say, the fence not 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:54.880 attractive and in sections it actually, uh looks pretty rough. 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:57.640 It's a chain link fence that's just yeah, has not 0:01:57.680 --> 0:02:00.320 held up well over the years. But chain link fenstance 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:03.240 have definitely fallen out of favor. I mean, I'm not 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:05.200 gonna lie. They're pretty hideous, Like we've got one on 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:07.680 the back back side of I mean from a utility standpoint, 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:10.919 they're pretty great. I mean it's like they will probably 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.280 be there for another hundred years if you let it. 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.040 You know, well, this one definitely will not really know, 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:18.080 it's already kind of fallen apart in some spots, and 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.200 so yeah, he wants to to replace it together. And 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.079 so we're in the midst of getting a quote to 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:24.720 kind of see how much it costs and if it's inexpensive. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:27.600 UM willing to jump in on this especially. It's just 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:29.280 like it's I feel like it's the right neighborly thing 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:31.120 to do. But I will say too, man, if the 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.160 quote comes back and it's too high, I'm not going 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:34.840 to be down for it because it is something that's 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:37.320 just not a high priority on my list. I've never 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:39.600 had a tenant complain about the fact that the fence 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:42.800 isn't in perfect shape. And so yeah, it's kind of 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:45.520 one of those like TBD as to whether or not, UM, 0:02:45.840 --> 0:02:48.440 you know, willing to go half and half on this fence, 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.000 But my gut is telling me probably not. I don't know. 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:53.600 Is that frugal or cheap of me? Ah? Man, This 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:56.440 is such a hard one because so on one hand, 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.440 with it being a rental. Like, in my mind, that's 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.000 one of the benefits, you know, of having a backyard 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:03.400 here in the city is the ability to have a pet. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:04.960 And so for runners thinking, hey, I've got a pet, 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:05.960 I would like for them to be able to run 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:07.800 in the backyard. To me, like, that's a selling point 0:03:08.000 --> 0:03:09.880 to having, you know, having a fenced in kind of 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:13.079 closed in backyard. Well, and they do actually, so interestingly enough, 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:15.760 this fence is kind of up slightly raised on a hill, 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:18.480 and and so many of my tenants have had animals. 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:20.520 None of those animals have ever gotten out through the fence. 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.760 So it's it's still does this job, okay, animals and 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.000 still climb hills though, right, no they can, but it's 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:28.600 just it's it's not possible really to get through or 0:03:28.639 --> 0:03:32.000 over the fence, even with like the disrepair that it 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:34.440 might be in. So I mean, okay, So the reason 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.440 I say that because we found ourselves in a similar 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:39.320 situation years ago at our old house. Before we moved out, 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:40.640 we knew that we were going to keep that house 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.400 as a rental, and the fence between us and our 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:46.040 neighbor was in complete disrepair. I mean it was like 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:48.000 literally there are sections of it that had fallen over. 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.480 It was an old wooden fence. It had completely rotted 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.320 out over decades of being exposed to the elements, right, 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:54.880 And so in my mind, I was like, you know what, 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:57.800 I'm willing to pay because in this case, this is 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.360 going to be a selling point I guess for future pendants. 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.000 But yeah, I mean the fact is is it sounds 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:05.240 like the fence that you've got there currently it still works, uh, 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.680 And so I would have a tough time agreeing to 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:11.000 replacing something that still is kind of getting the job done. Um. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.880 And honestly, dude, from a personal standpoint too, like I 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.440 know that's like, if any of my neighbors here like 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:18.839 next to us wanted to kind of go in on 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:20.160 a fence, I'm not sure if I would say yes, 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:23.039 because I partly feel that fences are a little overrated. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:25.719 Sounds specifically thinking of our next door neighbors. They don't 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:27.920 have any pets. We don't have any pets. Uh, They've got, 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:30.039 you know, a couple of young kids. And if that 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:32.320 fence were to fall over or start to rot and 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:34.039 we wanted to get rid of it, like I would 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:36.719 be totally okay if it was just one big open backyard, 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:38.800 Like I wouldn't even mind if their kids kind of, 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:40.360 you know, played in our back yard a little bit. 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:41.880 And so I feel like this is like one of 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:44.520 those expenses that it's found its way into our culture 0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:45.960 and it's like, oh, you've got to have a fence, 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.280 or if there was in every yard, or if there 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.680 was the fence there, you have to replace it, right 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:52.760 Whereas I want to ask the question of like, well 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.640 do you actually need to replace it, like is that 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.120 something that that you could do without, because it's not 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.160 like I gain a lot of joy from the back 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.159 that there's a fence between us. And so I think 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:04.159 in my mind it kind of depends if it's Yeah, 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:06.640 if it's an investment, property or rental, I would lean 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:09.600 more towards making sure that there is a functional structure 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.320 there between homes. But if it's me personally, as long 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:13.520 as they don't have a dog, like I don't want 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.760 a dog running over pooping in the yard, that would suck. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:20.400 But otherwise fences might be overrated. All right, I think 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.680 I'm with you, And yeah, well I'll wait and see 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:25.000 what the what the quote comes back out, Yeah, if 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.560 it's a pretty low estimate. If it's reasonable, then I 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.200 might um jump in on this, But my natural tendency 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:33.880 is to say, now, the kind of crumby fence is 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.680 mostly doing its job, still gets it done, so let's 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.680 just leave good enough alone. I actually still want to 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:41.880 see how that fence is falling apart, because in my mind, 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:44.320 channeling fences, they don't fall apart like I mean, they're 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:47.560 made a metal. All right, I'll show you some pictures. Yeah, 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:49.240 all right, let's not mentioned the beer that we're having 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.280 on the show today. This one's called on Cassette. It's 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.280 my new Anthem. This is a brewery out of North Carolina. 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:56.640 They make excellent beer. So looking forward to sharing this 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.560 one on this episode with you today, Matt. But let's 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.880 get onto the subject at hand. We're asking the questions 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.479 should women and men handle money differently? And Matt, I 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:07.400 think part of the reason that we decided to tackle 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:11.880 this kind of sensitive topic this week is because Valentine's 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:14.080 Day is coming up this weekend. We figured we'd create 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.960 an episode that discusses the differences between how men and 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.920 women handle money. There will, of course be some generalizations 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:22.440 in this episode. We want to get that out of 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.000 the way upfront. Many women buck the trend and handle 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.760 their money very differently than how studies show, And we're 0:06:28.800 --> 0:06:30.880 gonna be quoting a lot of studies in this episode 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.240 Brace Yourself, Yeah, and vice versa two. Right, there's a 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.640 lot of men who handle money a whole lot different 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:40.240 than studies show as well. I think there's a general 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.640 belief that men shoot from the hip when it comes 0:06:42.680 --> 0:06:45.000 to money, and some of the surveys bear that out. 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.039 But that's obviously not the case for all dudes either. 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.000 But I think there are things that we can learn 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.839 from the data about the tendencies of each sex and 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:56.440 their views and actions in the realm of personal finance. Matt, 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.840 we want to have an open combo today essentially about 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:02.520 the pros and cons of how men and women stereotypically 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:04.880 handle money, so that we can find some common ground 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:08.520 and then all start to make better financial decisions based 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.680 on the information that's set in front of us. Yeah, 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:12.360 that's right. And and you know you mentioned the research, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:13.760 and I'm glad you did, because I mean, that is 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:15.160 what we're gonna be looking at. We're gonna be looking 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:19.200 at surveys, reports, research, um. And even though these studies 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:25.240 are focusing on individuals tweets, maybe some tweets, maybe no tweets. Uh, Like, 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:28.080 I wanted to mention that we're we're not necessarily downplaying 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:31.920 the fact that there are like structural issues within like 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:35.920 our society and within employers, right like specific companies that 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:38.440 lead to some of these some of these differences between 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:41.640 how men and women are treated or how they handle 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:43.520 their money. Right, Like, there are certainly changes that need 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.080 to be made in different steps that companies and you know, 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:48.200 our society as a whole need to take to make 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.560 sure there is more parity. But I mean, this is 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.160 how the money and so what we talked about, or 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.400 like personal changes we can make in our own lives. 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.320 We're not necessarily looking at policy. We're not looking at 0:07:57.320 --> 0:08:00.400 some some of these larger issues that are a part 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.760 of the equation. Yeah, but it is important to acknowledge 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.120 that they exist and say that's, you know, part of 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:06.760 the deal here. We are gonna and some of the 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.600 stats that we're going to convey in this episode are 0:08:09.720 --> 0:08:12.560 in part related to some of the structural problems that 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.960 exist in our society. Yeah, man, you know, it's also 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:18.360 important to note that COVID man it has had an 0:08:18.360 --> 0:08:21.520 even greater impact on women than it has on men. Uh. 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.000 You know, we talked about the swords the end of 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:26.960 last year, but an overwhelming number of women have left 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:30.840 the workplace since spring of last year, in large part 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:33.679 due to the child care needs of their families. Women 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.080 are leaving their jobs at a rate four times the 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.000 rate of men, which is crazy. And a recent Fidelity 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:41.440 study found that thirty nine percent of women who haven't 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.120 you know, made a change yet are considering a change 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.800 to their work situation, you know, either leaving their job 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:50.040 or you know, maybe reducing hours due to COVID. And 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.559 the same study estimates that taking a short career hiatus 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:56.800 could cost upwards of one hundred and fifty thousand dollars 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:00.200 in future wealth. Yeah, and so it's just some wanting 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:03.120 to note that these decisions have implications beyond just money. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.160 Uh you know, but it's you know, worth noting that 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:09.120 many women find themselves in an even more precarious financial 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:11.199 position right now. Yeah, man, I think too. As we'll 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:13.280 see in this episode. Part of the problem isn't that 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.240 women are worse with money than men. That is, I 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:19.680 think sometimes there prevailing narrative, but that's not actually true, 0:09:19.920 --> 0:09:21.800 and I think actually, when we dig into it, we'll 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.199 find in many of the scenarios we're gonna talk about, 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:27.240 women actually have a better concept of how to handle 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:30.439 their money, and they actually handle money better in practice too. Yeah, 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:32.839 they do a better job. Yeah, ultimately that that's that's 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.600 certainly part of the takeaway today. And but one of 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.160 the issues that women do struggle with more than men 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.720 is the level of confidence that they have when making 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.480 money decisions. There was a study of small business owners 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:46.720 from the University of Cambridge, and they found that fewer 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.679 women admitted to their business prospering compared to their male counterparts, 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:55.840 even though their businesses were experiencing a greater level of profitability. 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:00.120 So women their businesses were doing better, doing great, but 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:02.280 they just couldn't admit it. They couldn't they didn't have 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.440 the confidence to say that that was the case. And 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:07.000 maybe some of it was, um the the opposite, a 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:10.200 little too much bravado in the case of the mails 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.440 in that survey, right. But I think one of the 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.160 things that we want to talk about today on this 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:16.040 show is you know, you and I both want to 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:19.160 see men and women exude confidence in their money choices, 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.800 and confidence is tied to knowing what you're doing. You 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.440 can be confident when you know how the game is 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:28.000 played and you know the next steps to take, which 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.000 is Matt just such a big part of the reason 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.160 you and I started How to Money. So we want 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:34.800 people to have confidence to make the right moves with 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:36.880 their money. And I feel like the feedback we get 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:38.960 from so many of our listeners is that that's the 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.200 impact that the show has had. People who didn't otherwise 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.400 know what to do. They now have a playbook and 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.360 that breeds confidence. Um, and that allows them to go 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:51.600 out there and start kicking but with their personal finances, absolutely, dude. Yeah, 0:10:51.679 --> 0:10:53.240 and and and so one of the reasons too that 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.200 we're talking about this today, uh, and why we feel 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:58.720 this is so important is that hopefully this gives us 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:01.880 maybe a little bit of insight into the inner workings 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.000 of our spouse or our partner, you know, a little 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:07.840 window into how their brain functions. I think that better 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:11.000 understanding of why our significant other thinks the way they 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.160 do about money can be helpful in future money discussions 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.560 and decisions. And plus two, you know, hopefully it has 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:19.880 further reaching implications as well. You know, the more known 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:22.800 and understood someone feels like that's gonna lead to them 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:25.960 feeling more cared for, more loved, which is only going 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.959 to result in a stronger relationship. Yeah, knowing our partner's 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:32.560 tendencies is super helpful in how we approach them with 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:35.559 discussions in particular about money. Maybe we'll be less combative 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:38.360 when we're bringing up the topic in general because we 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:41.280 better understand, like where they're coming from. Also, Matt, I 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:43.960 think knowing the money tendencies that each sex is prone 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.040 to it can actually help us teach our kids to 0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.800 handle their money better versus using outdated methods of instruction 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:51.959 that may be led to some of the disparities that 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.520 we see in financial outcomes for men and women. Currently, 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.760 families look different in one than they looked thirty years 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:01.240 ago or even just a decade. Stats show that we're 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.960 seeing far more stay at home dads and more women 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:06.360 bringing home the bacon. And that's awesome. So let's make 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.679 sure that our sons and daughters received the identical lessons 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:12.280 when it comes to money. And I think, Matt, sometimes 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.920 in the past, um that that wasn't the case that 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.439 young girls and young boys were taught differently about how 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.600 to think about money and personal finances. And I think 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.120 in today's day and age, they need the same lessons 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.600 because they're both just as likely to go out in 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:29.400 the workforce, they're both just as likely to own their 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:31.720 own business, to be saving for things for the future, 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.679 and to be investing for their retirement, and so they 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.960 need all of the same personal finance knowledge poured into 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:39.439 their lives as youngsters. Yeah, I mean, the reason that 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.880 they're just as likely as also too, because they're just 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.160 as capable, right, and so you know, another I guess 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:46.920 reason too that we feel this is important is because 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:48.400 we you know, we hope that listeners will be able 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:51.640 to handle their money better by being able to recognize 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:55.840 certain patterns and tendencies, you know, regardless of their gender. Uh, 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.559 you might realize that you don't fit the gender stereotypes 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:02.200 as we discuss them in that's totally okay. And in fact, 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:03.920 you know, like you said, you like this might be 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.160 a good thing. And if you, you know, if you 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.000 do find yourself nodding your head, you know, when we 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.520 talk about how your gender does typically handle their money 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.240 at least in some of these studies, well, then this 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.719 episode will be eye opening. Uh As, we're gonna talk 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:19.160 about some important instructions as to how you can move forward, 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:20.920 and so we'll get to some of the specific ways 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:22.880 that you know, men and women might handle their money 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.240 a little bit differently, but then specifically what you can 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:26.920 do about that, and we'll get to all of that 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:37.880 right after this break. All right, we're back from the break. 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.760 We're asking the question today, should women and men handle 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:44.720 money differently? Matt? The answer to that question is gonna 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:48.080 mean now. But there there's so much information that we 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:52.480 came across creating this episode that we feel is important 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.120 to share, and I think it sheds a lot of 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.800 light in how men and women have historically handle their 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:00.280 money differently. And then I think, you know, you and 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.320 I have a way forward for all of us together 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.160 that we want to get to. There was a book, 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:05.800 Matt that I never read, but I remember it was 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:08.679 so popular a couple of decades ago called Men Are 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.360 from Mars, Women or from Venus, And that just sounds 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.360 like a book from a bygone era. I don't know 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.040 if it's still sold in books are, so I'm sure 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:18.360 you can find it like he use bookstore or something 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:19.720 like that. That also makes me think of like t 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.240 G I F on Friday is like going home watching 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:24.920 the four shows? Which one was your favorite? Hanging Mr 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.080 Cooper or boy Meath world Sabrina to the Teenage which, 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:29.640 oh yeah, that was a classic to a big fan 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.240 of that one. Um. I obviously never read by the 0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:35.120 way men are from Mars women or from Venus. I 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.440 wasn't really because you're like ten probably came out exactly, 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.160 but you could tell by the title that the author 0:14:41.280 --> 0:14:44.920 was highlighting gender differences. And while men and women do 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.720 have far more in common than the author probably would 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:49.800 like to admit who wrote that book, there are some 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:53.840 really important divergences that are worthy of our consideration. Yeah. So, 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:55.440 first of all, let's talk about how you get money 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.960 in the first place, and that is you earn it 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:03.240 right uh. And according to the Pew Research Center, women 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:08.240 earned of what men earned in eighteen Uh. That pay 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.920 gap is shrinking, particularly for younger workers, which is a 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:16.280 positive trend, but that is still a meaningful hurdle to overcome. 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:18.800 The pay gap is partly due to to work history, 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.680 you know, like having kids as great you know, but 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.760 as we mentioned with the Fidelity study earlier, taking time 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.520 off to have kiddos like it often leads to fewer 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:30.680 job offers and worse income prospects. Not to mention that 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:33.840 the years of not generating in any income, which often 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:38.040 reflects years of not investing in a workplace retirement account, 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:40.680 in particular if there's a match there, right, And those 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:43.360 are some big disadvantages to overcome. Yeah, like you said 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.600 at the beginning, Matt, that stat also reflects some structural 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.000 issues when it comes to male and female pay. But 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.040 here's another thing to Matt. When we're talking about pay, 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:56.600 women are actually often averse to asking for more money 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.640 than their male counterparts. There was a survey from ron 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:01.840 Stop last year. They found that sixty percent of women 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:05.720 have never negotiated with an employer over pay. Women are 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:09.200 also more likely to stay at a lower wage job 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:12.800 to according to the personal finance website The Balance. And 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.360 that's not good, right, because even just a small bump 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.760 in pay with a new employer or in a job 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:19.440 that you've been in for years, can have just a 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:21.760 massive impact on your ability to earn more throughout the 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.520 years and then also save more for retirement. So I 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:27.040 think of all of the things in this episode where 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.480 we see maybe you know women as a sex falling 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.280 short it is in the ability to ask for more 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.840 knowing what they're worth. Yeah. Again, this is another instance 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:40.240 where you might be listening and you're thinking, I've never 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.960 had a problem negotiating a race, right, Like I've never 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.000 had a problem asking for more money. And so again 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.240 it's important to keep in mind that though the research 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.400 shows us, like we know anecdotally that this doesn't apply 0:16:51.440 --> 0:16:53.960 to everyone. I'm specifically thinking of two. We had a 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:57.840 conversation with Kirsten and Julian Saunders, the couple behind Rich 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:01.640 and Regular. Uh. That was episode eighties X, and Julian 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.919 was just bragging about how great Kirston is at negotiating, 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:09.560 Like evidently she's just like the Queen of negotiating more pay. Uh. 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:10.919 So if you have to listen to that episode, go 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:12.919 back and listen to that one. Is it regardless of 0:17:12.960 --> 0:17:15.800 your gender, earning more, It's just so important, right, and 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.440 all of us could stand to up our abilities on 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.960 that front. Uh. And We've had lots of different conversations 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.600 on the show that specifically cover, you know, not just 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:27.399 stories of individuals negotiating, but just how to go about 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.679 doing that. I'm thinking of Remiet Sadie, And that was 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:31.919 back in the episode one ten and he outlined a 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:35.280 great process, a great method. Uh, you know when it 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:37.600 comes to wanting to up your salary, you know, like 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:39.800 what steps you need to take in order to negotiate 0:17:39.960 --> 0:17:42.000 a solid raise. Yeah, I'm thinking to you, Matt. When 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.760 we had far New Sharabi on the show. She is 0:17:45.040 --> 0:17:48.399 just awesome personal finance expert. Um. And at the same time, 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.200 she is someone who has made a killing as a 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:53.639 small business owner. She knows her worth, she knows how 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.440 to negotiate. Yes, So, like you said, there are many 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:58.919 women out there who are crushing it, who don't have 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:01.640 a problem in asking for what they're worth, who don't 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:03.919 have a problem asking for a raise. Um, it's just 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:07.200 when you read those statistics, there are obviously a number 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:09.280 of women who do, though, and I want to see 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.719 that number changed for the benefit of women as a whole. Right, 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.840 let's talk about spending. To do women spend more? That's 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:19.280 an interesting question. My wife, personally, Matt hates to shop. 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.880 I feel like she just defies the stereotypes. And I actually, 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:25.000 I don't know. I don't mind shopping a little bit more. 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.040