Speaker 1: Hi.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 2: and speaker.
Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician,
Speaker 3: writer and course creator. We are two working parents who
Speaker 3: love our careers and our families.
Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.
Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 3: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
Speaker 3: episode is airing in early ish mid September. We're going
Speaker 3: to be playing a little.
Speaker 2: Game of would you rather meet people who have maybe
Speaker 2: school age children have probably experienced a version of this,
Speaker 2: maybe on a Laren car trip. Or you're asking questions
Speaker 2: of which weird or gross thing your kids would rather experience? Sarah,
Speaker 2: do your kids play this game?
Speaker 3: I think I learned it from my kids. They love
Speaker 3: the following format of question, would you do this disgusting,
Speaker 3: horrible thing or be suffering in some way? Or I die,
Speaker 3: meaning like the kid dies, because I think they like
Speaker 3: hearing the lengths I would go to to save their life,
Speaker 3: and so I have to envision myself living out all
Speaker 3: these nightmares, but my children get to live another day.
Speaker 3: So that's the variation. We tend to play a little morbid, Yeah,
Speaker 3: a little bit, a little bit morbid.
Speaker 2: When we decided to do this, I started looking through
Speaker 2: a bunch of the lists of these online like, so,
Speaker 2: a bunch of online websites have published like a list
Speaker 2: of one hundred would you rather questions? And I very
Speaker 2: clearly saw that many of these would you rather questions
Speaker 2: are perhaps more about the person writing the question, or
Speaker 2: I guess your perspective, than anything else. So I mean,
Speaker 2: one that had my kids laughing for a while is
Speaker 2: would you rather have zero children or six children? Which
Speaker 2: I found it funny that our family is like so
Speaker 2: close to what's considered the extreme. On the other end,
Speaker 2: that like or like, who would have thought, like no
Speaker 2: one would have.
Speaker 1: That many kids?
Speaker 2: Like that would be crazy? So zero or six? I
Speaker 2: guess that's the question. There was another one. It says
Speaker 2: would you rather get a stomach bug in the middle
Speaker 2: of a date you thought was going well or go
Speaker 2: on a double date with your parents?
Speaker 3: I'm like, are your parents that bad?
Speaker 1: Are your parents that bad?
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess this was somebody who was writing
Speaker 2: this had issues with their parents. Apparently that they thought
Speaker 2: this would that like vomiting in the middle of the
Speaker 2: date would be equivalent to having dinner with their parents.
Speaker 2: That's fascinating. I hope their parents did not discover this
Speaker 2: online article. I'm happy to report with my kids were
Speaker 2: happy to have dinner with me.
Speaker 1: In that situation.
Speaker 3: They chose that.
Speaker 2: And then another common theme of them is would you
Speaker 2: rather give a speech in front of X number of
Speaker 2: people or do why? Terrible thing? And I'm like, come on, people,
Speaker 2: speaking is not that bad.
Speaker 3: It's like you people really hate speaking. Some people feel
Speaker 3: the same way about speaking that like you or I
Speaker 3: might feel about like diving off a cliff into shark
Speaker 3: infested waters. I mean personally, I feel like.
Speaker 2: At all, like diving off a cliff into sharping tested
Speaker 2: waters is like dangerous. Whereas you know, that's speaking in
Speaker 2: front of a group is just a skill that you
Speaker 2: get used to over time. So I feel like that's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: public speaking gets a bad rap apparently. So anyway, lots
Speaker 2: of fascinating questions out there that you can then psychoanalyze.
Speaker 2: The person who decided to post these questions online, but
Speaker 2: I guess we're just going to ask each other a
Speaker 2: series of them and see what we both get.
Speaker 1: So, Sarah, you want to start.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And just to preface this, so Laura and I
Speaker 3: decided to make independent choices as to the ones that
Speaker 3: we would ask the other person. But then I also
Speaker 3: decreed that we had to answer it ourselves as well. Yes,
Speaker 3: So I tried to choose things where I was really
Speaker 3: curious as to what Laura would say, and I'm guessing
Speaker 3: that she did the same thing. And I have to
Speaker 3: say when I perused her questions, I was like, Wow,
Speaker 3: some of those are really really hard. And if this
Speaker 3: episode strikes you as kind of random, well yet yes
Speaker 3: it is. But also these are fun prompts, so we
Speaker 3: hope that maybe you take them to your dinner table
Speaker 3: or the car ride. And I don't know, let us know.
Speaker 3: We're happy to hear what you would rather do in
Speaker 3: some of these interesting scenarios. All right, I'm going to
Speaker 3: give you. I'm gonna give you a softball. I purposely
Speaker 3: chose like an easy one. First. Would you rather never
Speaker 3: eat watermelon again or be forced to eat watermelon with
Speaker 3: every meal?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: Give it that watermelon as probably not my top ten
Speaker 2: favorite foods. I think I would be fine to have
Speaker 2: a life without watermelon. I mean, it's good, but I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to eat it for every meal, So I
Speaker 2: think i'd be bidding ad to watermelon.
Speaker 1: Oh the fun random fact here.
Speaker 2: Normally my husband is the one who cuts up the
Speaker 2: watermelon in our household, and he sort of cuts the
Speaker 2: rine completely off, so right then you're like scooping it
Speaker 2: out of a bowl with a spoon or whatever to put.
Speaker 3: On your plate.
Speaker 2: And we had a family gathering, extended family gathering at
Speaker 2: the beach, and someone suggested he cut it with the
Speaker 2: rhine still on, like so it would be in little
Speaker 2: wedges that people could pick up.
Speaker 1: And I like it so much better that way.
Speaker 2: It's just like less messy, Like I feel more like
Speaker 2: it's a cool snack, like almost a snack on a stick,
Speaker 2: versus this mushy whatever thing that I have to scoop out.
Speaker 2: And so, uh, yeah, I guess I've started to see
Speaker 2: watermelon in a new light. But I still don't want
Speaker 2: to eat it every meal for the rest of my life,
Speaker 2: how about you. Yeah, I don't even like watermelon, So
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: Like, this is one of those ones where I was like, well,
Speaker 3: the question asker kind of got it wrong, because if
Speaker 3: the question had said something like would you never want
Speaker 3: to eat peanut butter again or be forced to eat
Speaker 3: it with every meal? Then I would actually have to
Speaker 3: think a little bit but one mile and I was like, yeah, no, bye.
Speaker 2: Or maybe I'd be willing to have a small sip
Speaker 2: of coffee with every meal, right, so I didn't have
Speaker 2: to give it up completely or something.
Speaker 3: I'd definitely choose that, especially if I could have a
Speaker 3: decap option. That's yeah, fine, I have a tiny bit
Speaker 3: of decay at dinner or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you're talking about like it's like a shot
Speaker 2: glass size the coffee. Yeah, I mean I'd probably be
Speaker 2: willing to have it with every meal.
Speaker 3: All right. Well, next one, this is a little bit
Speaker 3: less of a softball. Huh. Yes, would you rather be
Speaker 3: in jail for five years or be any coma for
Speaker 3: a decade?
Speaker 2: So we would say, like I have to ask some
Speaker 2: follow up questions here is what kind of jail are
Speaker 2: we talking about? Right, Because if we're talking about like
Speaker 2: one of these hideous dungeons somewhere terrible, like, that's kind
Speaker 2: of a different matter. If we're talking like a minimum
Speaker 2: security local Pennsylvania Women's correctional facility, Like I feel that
Speaker 2: would suck a lot and I'd be sad about it,
Speaker 2: but you'd get that five years of life, you know, probably.
Speaker 1: Read, watch some movies.
Speaker 2: My family could come visit me, rather than losing ten
Speaker 2: years of life completely. So I guess that would be
Speaker 2: the stipulation here of how I wouldn't make that choice.
Speaker 3: Do you think you really get to watch movies in jail?
Speaker 2: I believe that's one of like there's a lot of
Speaker 2: television watching in but I could be wrong. That was
Speaker 2: just my understanding. Maybe there's different jails have different policies.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I had thought from some things I had
Speaker 2: heard and read and some people who have had short
Speaker 2: stints that there were movies and television involved.
Speaker 3: But people can correct me. Yeah, like Martha Stewart's jail experience. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I would also pick jail, even with the uncertainty of
Speaker 3: what type it was. I mean, it sounds absolutely horrifying,
Speaker 3: but I don't want to lose ten years of my life.
Speaker 3: That's just like I mean, I guess I could come
Speaker 3: to regret my choice, but I think i'd regret the
Speaker 3: choice of coma more not knowing what the jail would
Speaker 3: have been like and being like, I just erased part
Speaker 3: of my life. Plus it's five years versus ten years.
Speaker 3: If we're talking ten and ten, it might be a
Speaker 3: little more difficult. But yeah, it's like fifteen hundred days
Speaker 3: in jail, Like, can I make it through? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it sounds like the place where Martha
Speaker 2: Stuart served her time wasn't terrible, Like she was apparently
Speaker 2: making like crab apple pies and things like that.
Speaker 3: So you'd be like, I'm going to run the first
Speaker 3: jail time management course for inmates and see where this goes. No,
Speaker 3: this is like, I mean, we take all this very seriously.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a I'm sure it's a really traumatic
Speaker 2: experience for everyone who experiences it.
Speaker 1: But anyway, all right, next one.
Speaker 3: All right, this one's interesting and I time focused. I
Speaker 3: picked it for you. Would you rather have a pause
Speaker 3: or a rewind button in your life?
Speaker 1: Hmm?
Speaker 2: I think possibly a pause. I think rewind is hard
Speaker 2: to work with.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: So if people have seen the Harry Potter and the
Speaker 2: Cursed Child play, just the idea of messing with anything
Speaker 2: with time travel. Can you know the butterfly's wing sets
Speaker 2: off of tsunami somewhere else kind of scenario.
Speaker 1: What's done is done.
Speaker 2: I think a pause button would allow you to stop
Speaker 2: and linger longer in a moment that was really cool,
Speaker 2: just so you could pause and appreciate it a bit.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess that's what i'd choose.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's a really good point, because I
Speaker 3: was initially thinking rewind, but I do feel like that
Speaker 3: could be super disastrous and dangerous and maybe it's just
Speaker 3: like better not to have that ability at all. And pause.
Speaker 3: I was thinking pause would help you like reassess or
Speaker 3: maybe like take more time to make a difficult judgment,
Speaker 3: or like if you were about to have a car accident,
Speaker 3: you could hit pause and then figure out how to
Speaker 3: avoid it or something like that. So yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: go with pause as well, going with pause as well.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's take a quick ad break and
Speaker 2: then we'll be back with a little bit more of
Speaker 2: this would You Rather game?
Speaker 1: Well, we are back.
Speaker 2: We are playing a little podcast version of would you Rather?
Speaker 2: The game you've probably heard your kids play in the car.
Speaker 3: Would you Rather?
Speaker 2: Do? Some ridiculous things, some disgusting things, some not fun thing,
Speaker 2: some scary thing. You can learn a lot about people
Speaker 2: by asking these questions. All right, Sarah, we're continuing with
Speaker 2: the ones that you came up with.
Speaker 3: All right. By the way, I feel like this would
Speaker 3: be a good dinner party icebreaker, Like if you have
Speaker 3: a group of people that don't know each other well
Speaker 3: and it's a small group. It wouldn't be good for
Speaker 3: a large group because it would get unwieldy really quickly.
Speaker 3: But I'm thinking like a six person dinner party, like
Speaker 3: you could whip out a few of these to get
Speaker 3: everyone started, And I don't know, I might try it,
Speaker 3: all right. So would you rather be able to take
Speaker 3: back anything you say or hear any conversation that is
Speaker 3: about you?
Speaker 2: I think I'd probably rather be able to take back
Speaker 2: anything I say. I feel like the hearing the conversation
Speaker 2: that's about you. Again, if you have any sort of
Speaker 2: like public presence, there are already conversations going on about
Speaker 2: you that you don't hear, or you can hear, like
Speaker 2: through because they're happening in comments, so that people feel
Speaker 2: like you aren't seeing or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Book reviews that people leave.
Speaker 2: Online where they whatever have their own impressions of your life,
Speaker 2: or you know, just you're already you've experienced that, and
Speaker 2: you know that there are conversations. You know, it just
Speaker 2: doesn't bother you.
Speaker 3: I guess as much.
Speaker 2: I don't know whereas being able to take back anything
Speaker 2: I say would be helpful. Although I just said I
Speaker 2: didn't want to rewind button versus a pause button. So
Speaker 2: I guess maybe what we need is my sudden burst
Speaker 2: of self control. So I stop before I say the
Speaker 2: thing it's the equivalent of the pause button, and then
Speaker 2: give me like a big flashing red sign would warn Laura,
Speaker 2: you shouldn't say this, and then I could could stop
Speaker 2: and rethink and move on, how about you, Sarah? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Or maybe it's like not done as a rewind but
Speaker 3: instead more like all right, I take it back, and
Speaker 3: people just like at face value are like okay, moving on.
Speaker 3: That might work. Yeah, I would not want to hear
Speaker 3: conversations about me. I just I think that would just
Speaker 3: like not be helpful. Too much feedback and then you
Speaker 3: become dwelling on that feedback, and maybe some of it's
Speaker 3: positive and I wouldn't even want to shape my life
Speaker 3: around positive things people said about me, because I don't
Speaker 3: want to be necessarily influenced one way or the other.
Speaker 3: Not that I think all the conversations would be positive,
Speaker 3: but I'm not sure i'd want to hear any of
Speaker 3: those closed door conversations. I will admit back when I
Speaker 3: looked at Reddit everyone, I think I searched for my
Speaker 3: name like once and I had like the grossest feeling,
Speaker 3: and I thank god I only found like two very
Speaker 3: minor things, and I'm like, I'm never doing that again.
Speaker 3: I don't want to know. I do not want to know. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: don't want those conversations. All right, here is one I
Speaker 3: don't even know my answer. I think I know your answer,
Speaker 3: and I think this is one where like best of
Speaker 3: both world, listeners should maybe all take a minute and
Speaker 3: think about their answer and where it takes them. All right,
Speaker 3: would you rather work the job you have now for
Speaker 3: a year at double year current rate of pay or
Speaker 3: have one year off with what you are making now?
Speaker 2: So, because I have no desire to not do what
Speaker 2: I'm doing, like, I don't feel like this is I mean,
Speaker 2: I been working for a long time. I'm sure if
Speaker 2: I wanted to stop working for a year, I could
Speaker 2: stop working for a year. But I don't have any
Speaker 2: desire to stop working for a year, So in that scenario,
Speaker 2: just earning double whatever I've been earning would be a
Speaker 2: nice bonus. So I guess I don't it's yeah, I
Speaker 2: think you have to be out coming at it this
Speaker 2: from what are you saying, Sarah?
Speaker 3: Like what was I assumed that you would say you'd
Speaker 3: rather work and earn double because you don't tend to
Speaker 3: want to stop working, Like, yeah, I think that that
Speaker 3: you'd be like, fine, I'll work and earn double. Amazing,
Speaker 3: Like that's great. I guess there should have been a
Speaker 3: third option, which is like work half the rate and
Speaker 3: earn like one hundred percent. Maybe that would have been
Speaker 3: like a nice middle ground. I think if I could
Speaker 3: guarantee it's not even about the money necessarily, but if
Speaker 3: I could guarantee that I could pick up every single
Speaker 3: piece and earn my actually the money is important, and
Speaker 3: I earned my full salary and then like start exactly
Speaker 3: where I left off one year without losing a beat
Speaker 3: clinically or creatively. Yeah, I would take them up on
Speaker 3: that offer. Yeah, And I would just have a year
Speaker 3: of reflection and thought and travel and a lot of
Speaker 3: running and hanging out and like leisure, and like I
Speaker 3: think that in itself would become like almost a type
Speaker 3: of work, like just an exploration, and then it would
Speaker 3: be super cool to be like because I don't want
Speaker 3: to quit forever. But if I was just like guaranteed
Speaker 3: to then slot right back in where I left off
Speaker 3: and I didn't have to lose the income, yeah, sign me.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean so that's a hard thing to say
Speaker 2: because I guess the practicalities of you know, once you
Speaker 2: have a business that's based on you, you can't walk
Speaker 2: away from it for a year and come right back
Speaker 2: to it where it is. Like I assume if we
Speaker 2: stopped doing this podcast, like people would find other things
Speaker 2: to listen to on Tuesday, and a year from now,
Speaker 2: we do have to do a ton of work to
Speaker 2: get those listeners back, right. I mean, sure some people
Speaker 2: would remember us, but loyal as they may be, they're
Speaker 2: not you know, gonna sit there wondering for a year
Speaker 2: where we are and checking every.
Speaker 1: Tuesday to make sure. And it's.
Speaker 2: Like, I love of writing in and of itself, and
Speaker 2: so it's kind of just fun to write for an audience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Maybe if you were allowed to work during this paid year,
Speaker 3: but like completely on your own terms, then that would
Speaker 3: be like your choice, meaning like yeah, you write when
Speaker 3: you want to write, you speak when you want to speak,
Speaker 3: but sort of like, no, I guess you already do that.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: This is really hard.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't take on a whole lot of stuff
Speaker 2: I don't want to do anyway. It just would sort
Speaker 2: of be like, yeah, don't really feel that excited about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I do, you know have.
Speaker 2: I am a worker bee and there are probably times
Speaker 2: that I stick with stuff projects longer than I should.
Speaker 2: When I know longer, I'm enjoying them, and so I
Speaker 2: think there would be a good thing to evaluate with it.
Speaker 2: But then I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know, so sorry,
Speaker 2: you'd take it.
Speaker 3: I would take it. What if the podcast ended like
Speaker 3: right now, you're like, actually, I'm done.
Speaker 2: That's it. We made it through seven years, Sarah, I'm
Speaker 2: out in seventeen minutes of an episode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go. So I know it's a super
Speaker 3: thought provoking question and probably like a good self reflection
Speaker 3: experiment for probably many of our listeners who are doing
Speaker 3: work that they may really really enjoy, but just thinking
Speaker 3: about what it means to them, And I'm not sure
Speaker 3: there's like a answer, like it's not like my answer makes
Speaker 3: me want to do anything specific, But I don't know.
Speaker 2: Just use yuah, So I could totally see that somebody
Speaker 2: might like the middle of the road option right where
Speaker 2: you work like half of the year or whatever and
Speaker 2: not just like twenty hours a week.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was that you like would be able to.
Speaker 2: Work twenty six weeks of the year and earn the
Speaker 2: same amount and so have lots of different vacation options
Speaker 2: or something, you know, and maybe you like magically also
Speaker 2: have childcare for all the hours, so you could like
Speaker 2: travel on your own if you wanted to or something.
Speaker 3: It's just like, although then I think, like, well, if
Speaker 3: I had twenty six weeks of vacation, I think I'd
Speaker 3: get sick of that. Actually I don't know, Maybe I
Speaker 3: have to rethink. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I have some questions, so I will
Speaker 2: go ahead and start asking these questions of Sarah. We'll
Speaker 2: take an ad break after maybe one or two of these.
Speaker 2: But okay, Sarah, would you rather be more attractive or
Speaker 2: more intelligent?
Speaker 3: I don't know. This is a hard one. I mean,
Speaker 3: I get no matter what I say, it's gonna come
Speaker 3: off like horrible. But I'm like, I think I'm smart
Speaker 3: enough and being like movie star attractive might be really
Speaker 3: fun and open some doors. So is it disgusting and
Speaker 3: superficial to pick that? Yeah, gonna go with looking like
Speaker 3: Angeline Julie. Yeah, especially if it's like lasting. I mean,
Speaker 3: if I'm just going to age anyway, I'm not sure
Speaker 3: that would be worth it.
Speaker 2: So well, we're all going to age anyway, but maybe
Speaker 2: we it'll be a long time we can run with,
Speaker 2: you know, the good looks for uh. Speaking of Martha Stewart,
Speaker 2: she's been rocking it at age eighty if anyone looks
Speaker 2: at her social media stuff. So whatever happened years ago
Speaker 2: has all natural too well, but good for her for
Speaker 2: finding the best people in the world to make it happen.
Speaker 2: So she looks awesome, and so looking like that at
Speaker 2: age eighty would be great. And sometimes it's funny because
Speaker 2: you know, some people who were very attractive early in
Speaker 2: life don't age that way.
Speaker 1: But she was, like bed An attractive.
Speaker 2: Early life and she's kept it, and that's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2: I would definitely go with more attractive. I've well, it's
Speaker 2: just I mean, yeah, I feel like I don't even
Speaker 2: use a lot of my brain much of the day.
Speaker 2: It's not like I'm doing quantum physics or something coming
Speaker 2: up with new mathematical theorems. That I enjoy thinking hard
Speaker 2: about stuff when I'm writing, but even that, it's it's
Speaker 2: not breaking new philosophical ground or something. I feel like
Speaker 2: my level of intelligence has gotten me three or so
Speaker 2: far and just does little things like make me do
Speaker 2: thousand piece puzzles for fun in my spare time, whereas
Speaker 2: I've never been probably up where it is on the curve,
Speaker 2: like the attractiveness could move further to the right in
Speaker 2: a way that the intelligence could move also further to
Speaker 2: the right. But maybe there's it's a little bit further
Speaker 2: on the curve. So I would go with that as well.
Speaker 3: Plus I wonder if people above a certain echelon of
Speaker 3: intelligence would just struggle in like society a little bit.
Speaker 3: That could maybe there'd be some negatives. There might be.
Speaker 2: There might be unless you're like so socially and emotionally
Speaker 2: intelligent as well, you've got amazing intuitive abilities.
Speaker 3: I don't know, we know superheroes in that way.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, we're going to take another quick ad
Speaker 2: break and we'll be back with more Would you rather?
Speaker 2: All right, so we are back playing would you rather
Speaker 2: the game where you propose different scenarios something that might
Speaker 2: be scary or gross or not fun or just thought provoking. So, Sarah,
Speaker 2: would you rather have a conversation with your great great
Speaker 2: grandfather or great great grandmother or your great great grandson
Speaker 2: or granddaughter. And I want to make the stipulation here
Speaker 2: that I think there's going to be enough greats in this.
Speaker 2: You can choose the number of greats, but this is
Speaker 2: outside your natural lifespan, right, because theoretically, maybe one of
Speaker 2: us would get to actually talk to our great great
Speaker 2: granddaughter if we lived to one hundred or something like that.
Speaker 3: It could happen.
Speaker 2: But let's stipulate that it is enough outside that you
Speaker 2: would not naturally live to see this person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and this is going to be relevant perhaps for
Speaker 3: the next question as well. But I just find the
Speaker 3: future way more intriguing than the past. I know that's
Speaker 3: not necessarily typical for everyone. People get super into these
Speaker 3: like ancestry things, and I'm kind of like, eh, I
Speaker 3: don't know, so I've definitely choose great great grandson or
Speaker 3: granddaughter love to know. I don't know. I would ask
Speaker 3: them all about their grandparents and their parents because I'd
Speaker 3: want to know about all the inner generations from their perspective,
Speaker 3: and I guess to some extent you might kind of
Speaker 3: hear a perspective about the future, which would be super interesting.
Speaker 3: So that's what i'd go with.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I don't know. I've never been into that
Speaker 2: ancestry stuff too. My husband and some of my kids
Speaker 2: really are, and they'll come up with something like, oh,
Speaker 2: our line is related to Robert the Bruce. It turns
Speaker 2: out everybody is related to Robert the Bruce. This does
Speaker 2: nothing for you, Like there's some interesting genetic the way
Speaker 2: the genetic analysis goes if you are of European heritage,
Speaker 2: basically everything converges within the last thousand years, Like everybody
Speaker 2: is related to everyone within about a thousand year period.
Speaker 2: So being like we're related to Robert the Bruce is like,
Speaker 2: well so what so everyone else.
Speaker 1: Like why do you care?
Speaker 2: But they get really into this, so like where the
Speaker 2: lineage goes to get you to that or your your
Speaker 2: relation to Queen Elizabeth. I, I don't know. I am, yes,
Speaker 2: slightly less excited about the past.
Speaker 3: Then it's also funny because people love to be like,
Speaker 3: I'm related to this noble person and you're like and
Speaker 3: nine jillion other like of their serfs and normal people. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: why are we choosing the one special one to focus on?
Speaker 3: Like every Jewish person is related to Jerry Seinfeld, But
Speaker 3: you know you're also related to like, I don't know whatever,
Speaker 3: slaves in Egypt, I don't know whatever.
Speaker 2: It's true, it's a long family lineage. It's been a
Speaker 2: family tradition for a long time. Well, I guess the
Speaker 2: cool thing about getting to meet a great great grandchild
Speaker 2: is knowing that you had a great great grandchild. So
Speaker 2: that's kind of cool. So the earth continued at least
Speaker 2: to that point, and your family decided it was an
Speaker 2: exciting enough thing to bring new people into the world
Speaker 2: that they kept going with it too. So yeah, maybe
Speaker 2: I would go for the great great granddaughter conversation as well.
Speaker 2: So related, Sarah, would you rather have a one minute
Speaker 2: conversation with your past self or with your future self?
Speaker 3: Well, this one's you know, actually thinking about it, like
Speaker 3: it might be dangerous to talk to your future self,
Speaker 3: because like, what if you find out something bad and
Speaker 3: then you're disappointed. So I kind of think i'd pick
Speaker 3: my past self for safety reasons, and maybe I think
Speaker 3: it well and that could be dangerous too though, because
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, I would give my twelve year old
Speaker 3: self a pep talk that it gets better. But then
Speaker 3: what if that twelve year old then is like, well,
Speaker 3: just put up my heels and like motivated, who.
Speaker 1: Cares about med school?
Speaker 3: Exactly?
Speaker 2: So it was that a little bit of edge that
Speaker 2: made it.
Speaker 3: But I'm gonna keep it real neutral, yeah, and.
Speaker 2: Be like it's gonna be okay, like if you wanted to,
Speaker 2: it's like, you're gonna have an interesting career, you'll get married,
Speaker 2: you'll have lovely kids. Just tell her that hopefully she'll
Speaker 2: be motivated enough by that to continue making good choices. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think probably past self as well would could you
Speaker 2: kind of can already have You could write things now
Speaker 2: for your future self to look at. So in some
Speaker 2: ways you can have a conversation with your future self,
Speaker 2: like just that the future self will have to have
Speaker 2: their part of the conversation.
Speaker 3: I have a funny story with that. So I was
Speaker 3: playing with Google Calendar, and I don't really use Google
Speaker 3: Calendar except like some my husband invites and I like
Speaker 3: was like, oh, let me check the tasks function. And
Speaker 3: I saw that I had put a task in in
Speaker 3: like twenty sixteen or something that was like maybe it
Speaker 3: was twenty seventeen. That was like for twenty thirty and
Speaker 3: it said play Annabell's first day of school video. So
Speaker 3: I don't know who gave me that idea, but cool idea.
Speaker 3: And also that's kind of like the past self talking
Speaker 3: to you, so that'll be super interesting. Although we can't
Speaker 3: like have a conversation, but I'm excited for that task
Speaker 3: to pop up. And yeah, I'm here. It's only six
Speaker 3: years away.
Speaker 1: Now, only six years away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I've been looking at old videos and
Speaker 2: stuff on my phone, old photos and the.
Speaker 1: Apple time hop thing.
Speaker 2: I mean they show you things that happen on this
Speaker 2: date or whatever in years past, and it's been fun
Speaker 2: to see the videos, to hear the kids' voices and
Speaker 2: even you know, hear my voice talking about stuff, and like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I guess I'm having.
Speaker 3: A bit of a moment with.
Speaker 2: Past Laura and maybe I should record more now whatever
Speaker 2: I'm talking about I record all the time I have
Speaker 2: passed fretro. Laura wants to listen to past Laura others
Speaker 2: unless all this stuff gets erased from the digital sphere piece,
Speaker 2: Laura can listen to past Laura more than she probably
Speaker 2: ever ever wants to. All Right, Sarah, would you rather
Speaker 2: swim with sharks or sleep in a house you knew
Speaker 2: to be haunted?
Speaker 3: This one is one of those where I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: what if one does not believe in haunted houses? Or like,
Speaker 3: what is haunted mean? So I am definitely not swimming
Speaker 3: with sharks, so I'm gonna hedge my bets with the ghosts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean I don't know.
Speaker 2: Because my husband and my fourteen year old are both
Speaker 2: scuba divers, and they point out that seeing sharks on
Speaker 2: a dive is actually really cool, Like you don't see
Speaker 2: them that often, and contrary to popular perception, sharks are
Speaker 2: not like constantly circulating looking for swimmers to bite jaws style.
Speaker 2: I mean, it happens, but it's not that common. So
Speaker 2: people actually pay good money to go sleep with, not
Speaker 2: sleep with sharks, to go swim with sharks.
Speaker 1: So I get it. I can't.
Speaker 2: I think maybe if I knew it was like I
Speaker 2: was observing a group of sharks from a distance, I
Speaker 2: might go do snorkeling scuba diving to go see them.
Speaker 2: But I don't really believe in ghosts either. So the
Speaker 2: how otted house like, there's no real such things, So
Speaker 2: I think probably i'd be okay to sleep in there too.
Speaker 3: What if we change it to a house with three
Speaker 3: pythons on the loose?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm probably taking my bet with the sharks in
Speaker 2: the like that sense I described with the like observing
Speaker 2: the school from a distance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't like snakes. Yeah I don't either. I
Speaker 3: guess if I could close my door and I knew
Speaker 3: they couldn't get under it, it might be okay, I
Speaker 3: don't know. Okay, we're gonna move on.
Speaker 2: Oh that's good little visual image for all our listeners
Speaker 2: who just thought they were commuting to work today and
Speaker 2: now you have to live with that one.
Speaker 1: Would you rather have a.
Speaker 2: Longer Christmas vacation or a longer summer vacation? Like if
Speaker 2: I were going to add three weeks to your vacation
Speaker 2: budget here, would you rather take them in the winter
Speaker 2: or the summer winter?
Speaker 3: Because our weather is way better, and there's more skiing opportunities,
Speaker 3: so we could like enjoy Actually, I would love this.
Speaker 3: Let's do it. Let's do it like four weeks of
Speaker 3: winter break and six weeks of summer break, as long
Speaker 3: as there are some camp options and stuff available for
Speaker 3: this faux winter break. But like from a Floridian perspective,
Speaker 3: this would be amazing. Plus it would like better more
Speaker 3: balanced throughout the year versus having an all in one go.
Speaker 3: I think your answer is gonna be very different, But
Speaker 3: I am all for this plan. And hey, it's why
Speaker 3: we have Like places that have year around school tend
Speaker 3: to be places like Arizona. I think because like no
Speaker 3: one wants that summer off. That's the most miserable part
Speaker 3: of the year. Why would you want to be off? Then?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love summer, I will say. I mean so.
Speaker 2: Depending on how we view this question, Like if I
Speaker 2: don't have to give up weeks of summer right, like
Speaker 2: I'm not transferring weeks of summer over to Christmas.
Speaker 1: Ye, happy to get extra another week at Christmas? I mean,
Speaker 1: why not?
Speaker 2: Then we could like take that trip to New Zealand
Speaker 2: then or something. It's just always hard to because the
Speaker 2: kids don't want to be gone on Christmas, and it's
Speaker 2: a bit of a hassle to move presence or to
Speaker 2: open them somewhere else. And I mean, how is Santa
Speaker 2: Claus going to find us if we're in a hotel somewhere?
Speaker 2: And I sang on Christmas Eve as well, So we
Speaker 2: always have.
Speaker 1: To go like after.
Speaker 2: But then it's limited because you're back January first, January second.
Speaker 2: Being able to take till January eighth would open up
Speaker 2: a lot of possibilities in terms of traveling farther at
Speaker 2: times when there are a lot of places that are
Speaker 2: not that pleasant in the summer. So yeah, I would
Speaker 2: love to get an extra week at Christmas, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to give up a week of the summer
Speaker 2: to get it. So I'm not sure how that all
Speaker 2: plays out.
Speaker 3: But hey, you know, I think college students get like
Speaker 3: a really long winter.
Speaker 1: That is true.
Speaker 3: That is true.
Speaker 2: I remember we'd be off from like December fifteen to
Speaker 2: basically February first, because there was like a month yeah
Speaker 2: exam period, but if you didn't, if you only had papers,
Speaker 2: there was a lot of it was like.
Speaker 1: The old day's work from home flexibility.
Speaker 2: I guess, all right, last bonus, Sarah, would you rather
Speaker 2: meet Harry Potter or Santa Claus?
Speaker 3: Well, I did not grow up with the edition of
Speaker 3: Santa Claus, and I definitely grew up with the udition
Speaker 3: of Harry Potter. So I will pick Harry. You'll pick Harry, Yeah.
Speaker 1: My kids would. My kids would might struggle with this one.
Speaker 2: I think they'd like to meet Harry Potter though, because
Speaker 2: they haven't really met Santa yet. I mean, his helpers
Speaker 2: have various breakfasts with Santa phenomenon, and he keeps bringing presents,
Speaker 2: So I guess Harry Potter might be slightly more exciting.
Speaker 3: Bonus if it's like, actually Daniel Radcliffe so well, he.
Speaker 2: Doesn't look like Harry Potter anymore now he's an adult man.
Speaker 2: We're doing a lot of time travel though, so could
Speaker 2: be go meet Daniel Radcliff circle like two thousand and three? Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, So moving on, there's been our would you
Speaker 2: rather questions. This week's question is from a listener who
Speaker 2: wants to justify outsourcing household cleaning. She says, how do
Speaker 2: I justify it if my hourly rate is lower than
Speaker 2: that of what the cleaning service is charging?
Speaker 1: She says, for full transparency. I'm looking for permission.
Speaker 3: She says.
Speaker 2: She recently took a part time administrative role for twenty
Speaker 2: five hours a week while her kids are little. For
Speaker 2: various reasons. She's paid well, but not as much as
Speaker 2: a cost for like having a cleaning service come to
Speaker 2: her house for let's say two hours. Like what she
Speaker 2: would earn in two hours is less than what she
Speaker 2: would pay for two hours of a cleaning service cleaning
Speaker 2: her house.
Speaker 1: So she's saying, can I justify this? So, Sarah, what
Speaker 1: do you think?
Speaker 3: I love your answer, but I just want to add
Speaker 3: the fact that, like two hours of work from a
Speaker 3: cleaning service would probably take me like eight hours to
Speaker 3: do because I am not as efficient and not as
Speaker 3: good as they are.
Speaker 2: And they often bring more people, right, Like if you
Speaker 2: have a team of three people, like, there's more man
Speaker 2: hours here, Like the fact that they're there for two
Speaker 2: hours doesn't mean you're only getting two hours, Like that's
Speaker 2: like many many more man hours.
Speaker 3: Correct, And honestly, even if it was one person, they're
Speaker 3: probably still one point five to two x speed as
Speaker 3: efficient as I am. And so I think you have
Speaker 3: to be careful thinking about hourly rate and thinking about
Speaker 3: what it's actually saving you. So before you even answer
Speaker 3: the question, make sure your math is correct thinking about
Speaker 3: how long it would actually take you to clean. And
Speaker 3: with that, I let Laura give the rest of the
Speaker 3: answer because I think it's perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a lot of things like that.
Speaker 2: You probably could figure out some of you, Like if
Speaker 2: you have an older car, you could probably figure out
Speaker 2: car repair, but it would take you a lot lot
Speaker 2: longer than it would take to bring it to a
Speaker 2: mechanic who actually knows what they are doing. And so
Speaker 2: or painting your walls, Like again, you can paint your
Speaker 2: own walls, the amount of time it will take you
Speaker 2: to do a halfway decent job versus a professional painter
Speaker 2: is probably not a comparable number. So things to keep
Speaker 2: in mind as you're doing the economics. But I will
Speaker 2: say that I think hourly rate has got to be
Speaker 2: somewhat based on household income and not just yours. I
Speaker 2: am assuming that this listener of ours has downshifted from
Speaker 2: a sort of full time big job to this heart
Speaker 2: time administrative role as a household decision that they've decided
Speaker 2: somebody should be around more hours for whatever reason they
Speaker 2: have made that choice. But assuming that that is a
Speaker 2: family decision. Then we are talking household income, not just hers,
Speaker 2: as she has taken this hit as a bitefit as
Speaker 2: perceived as such, to the household. And just to put
Speaker 2: it bluntly, I mean, I live in a fairly well
Speaker 2: to do community, and most of the stay at home
Speaker 2: moms I know around here do have housekeeping services. And
Speaker 2: that's true even if their hourly rate is technically zero,
Speaker 2: because it's based on both their household rate and the
Speaker 2: fact that they don't want to do it right, Like
Speaker 2: they don't want to spend the time that they could
Speaker 2: be with their kids or managing their household, or volunteering
Speaker 2: in the school or whatever it is, cleaning their baseboards.
Speaker 2: So if this person has decided to work less to
Speaker 2: focus more on their kids and managing family life, obviously
Speaker 2: she values that quite a bit. So go ahead and
Speaker 2: put a dollar number on that that's incredibly high, and
Speaker 2: then you can.
Speaker 3: Justify it to yourself all you want. Yeah, and just
Speaker 3: also be careful to see whether there are you know,
Speaker 3: the fact that you had to ask permission and have
Speaker 3: all this guilt around it. Do that experiment. We've had
Speaker 3: you guys do many times before. We've swapped the genders,
Speaker 3: and we have moms working a very busy job at
Speaker 3: a law firm, and dad has a more casual job
Speaker 3: but is doing a lot of the household stuff. Do
Speaker 3: you judge him the way you're currently judging yourself for
Speaker 3: hiring out the heavy cleaning. Maybe you do, but maybe
Speaker 3: you don't. So interesting to think that through. Why we
Speaker 3: place certain expectations on ourselves, maybe somewhat based on gender,
Speaker 3: even if we don't realize that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I always point out that one of the most commonly
Speaker 2: outsourced household tasks is lawnmowing, and that is because it's
Speaker 2: historically male, and a lot of guys don't want to
Speaker 2: spend their weekends mowing the lawn and so they don't
Speaker 2: feel particularly guilty about it being hired out.
Speaker 1: And so that's something that a lot of people do.
Speaker 2: Now. Obviously, if this household is if money is not
Speaker 2: in a big supply, though again, if somebody is consciously
Speaker 2: working fewer hours as a household, you know, it's let's
Speaker 2: just say that there are ways one can find money
Speaker 2: in different places with different choices. So if this is
Speaker 2: a priority for you to get a cleaning service, maybe
Speaker 2: you do something like hold on to a car for
Speaker 2: a year longer than you would have right, Or maybe
Speaker 2: you take a slightly cheaper vacation that you stay at
Speaker 2: a less nice hotel for a week, and that opens
Speaker 2: up cash that you could use for this.
Speaker 1: Maybe you take a good.
Speaker 2: Look at various recurring bills that you have if there
Speaker 2: are any of them that could be trimmed to a degree.
Speaker 2: Just when you're past the point of being on the edge,
Speaker 2: there's often some discretion somewhere, and if you decide that
Speaker 2: something is a household priority, you can often find money
Speaker 2: for it by deciding that something else is less of
Speaker 2: a priority.
Speaker 3: And this person, to be clear, didn't make it sound
Speaker 3: like there was even like an issue. It was more
Speaker 3: a she wanted a permission slip. So we are. We
Speaker 3: are signing on the dotted line.
Speaker 1: Signing on the ditted line.
Speaker 3: There you go.
Speaker 2: Permission granted. All right, love of the week. Well, I'll
Speaker 2: just go ahead and say I like my cleaning service.
Speaker 2: It's really nice too. On Thursday morning, the coming you know,
Speaker 2: the kitchen is clean and it lasts for about ten minutes.
Speaker 3: But that's okay. For ten minutes my kitchen is completely clean. Well,
Speaker 3: I will go with the lawn service. We have both
Speaker 3: as well. Yeah, there may be some scenarios where actually
Speaker 3: one half of a couple does want to maybe say
Speaker 3: they want to do the lawn because then they get
Speaker 3: like outdoor time to themselves. No, I think we went
Speaker 3: through that very very briefly. But it's really hot out there. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the lawn people are so efficient, So I'm just grateful
Speaker 3: that everybody in our household feels like this is a
Speaker 3: worthy investment, and I'm glad to support our lawn team.
Speaker 3: They do a great job. Excellent.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, this has been best of both worlds
Speaker 2: we've been playing. Would you rather maybe a game you
Speaker 2: want to play with your family later today or as
Speaker 2: you know, a dinner party or something like that. We
Speaker 2: will be back next speak with more on making work
Speaker 2: and life fit together.
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
Speaker 3: and you.
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This
Speaker 2: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join
Speaker 2: us next time for more on making work and life
Speaker 2: work together.