Speaker 1: And we continue with our American stories, and now a
Speaker 1: story from one of our regular contributors, Bert Rossiica.
Speaker 2: In twenty twelve, for reasons known only to Providence, I
Speaker 2: decided to type a list of the reasons why a
Speaker 2: manual typewriter is better than a computer. My intent when
Speaker 2: I started was to come up with ninety nine reasons.
Speaker 2: The reason I settled on ninety nine was because back
Speaker 2: in nineteen eighty five, Tom Boswell.
Speaker 3: Who was then the beat reporter for.
Speaker 2: Baseball for the Washington Post, was given an assignment by
Speaker 2: his editor to come up with the ninety nine reasons
Speaker 2: why baseball is better than football. And as he tells
Speaker 2: the story, he comes into the office at nine in
Speaker 2: the morning and his editor tells him he needs on
Speaker 2: his desk by twelve o'clock at least ninety nine reasons.
Speaker 2: Boswell goes back to his office a little anxious that
Speaker 2: he may or may not be able to accomplish the
Speaker 2: task and the time allotted, and proceeds to write on
Speaker 2: his typewriter. According to him, it took him forty five
Speaker 2: minutes to complete the task, and it became an instant
Speaker 2: classic and part of the pantheon of baseball. The reason
Speaker 2: I had a newfound appreciation for the typewriter had to
Speaker 2: do with the fact that our then twelve year old
Speaker 2: son shows up one day with the typewriter. I asked him,
Speaker 2: why in the world did you buy a typewriter, and
Speaker 2: he told me I always wanted one. Dad, I thought,
Speaker 2: all right. He got the typewriter at a thrift store
Speaker 2: in our town. And the reason he was at the
Speaker 2: thrift store was because, at the age of twelve, he
Speaker 2: decided he did not want to attend the katillion at
Speaker 2: his school wearing khaki colored chinos. He wanted to wear
Speaker 2: Nantucket red colored chinos. And I told my wife, I
Speaker 2: don't feel like spending like one hundred.
Speaker 3: Dollars of Brooks Brothers or Nordstroms or some other place
Speaker 3: for a kid to wear Nantucket red chinos for six
Speaker 3: months and then grow out of them.
Speaker 2: So I said, take him to the thrift store. So
Speaker 2: he came back from the thrift store without the chinos,
Speaker 2: but with the typewriter. So I said, what did you
Speaker 2: pay for it? Fifteen dollars, Dad, fifteen dollars for a typewriter. Okay,
Speaker 2: the guy wanted thirty, Dad, but I told him it
Speaker 2: didn't work, so I'd only give him fifteen. I tried
Speaker 2: to get it for ten, but he insisted on fifteen.
Speaker 2: The kid's twelve years old, negotiating with the thrift store
Speaker 2: manager or owner or whatever he was. So he has
Speaker 2: this fifteen dollars typewriter that doesn't work. Why'd you get
Speaker 2: a typewriter if it doesn't work, he said, I figured
Speaker 2: you could fix it. Dad. He said, all right, it's
Speaker 2: a reasonable answer. Let's take it down to the bench
Speaker 2: and see what we can do. So take it down
Speaker 2: to my workbench. Finally we get the thing working well.
Speaker 2: We proceed to then argue over who gets to use
Speaker 2: the typewriter. I wanted to use it. He didn't want
Speaker 2: to let me. I argued, I fixed it. He argued,
Speaker 2: I paid for it. Why don't you get your own typewriter?
Speaker 2: So I did, And then I got another, and then another,
Speaker 2: and then another, and the next thing I know, I'm
Speaker 2: collecting and restoring old manual typewriters. And I started writing,
Speaker 2: and in the process of that, I realized writing on
Speaker 2: a typewriter is way more enjoyable than writing on a computer.
Speaker 2: One day, I'm typing away on a typewriter writing heaven
Speaker 2: knows what, and I'm thinking this is great. I also
Speaker 2: start thinking about the Boswell list, said, wonder if I
Speaker 2: can come up with ninety nine reasons why a typewriter
Speaker 2: is better than a computer. So put a piece of
Speaker 2: paper in the typewriter and I started the type and
Speaker 2: here's what I came up with. I'm going to go
Speaker 2: through the list. Some of them are a little redundant.
Speaker 2: In fact, I think some.
Speaker 3: Are absolutely redundant.
Speaker 2: Now for those of you who have never typed on
Speaker 2: a typewriter, you're just going to have to use your imagination. Now,
Speaker 2: for those of us old enough to have typed on
Speaker 2: a typewriter, I think some of these things might strike
Speaker 2: a chord. Speaking of which, the number one reason is
Speaker 2: there are no power chords. Two, no chords connecting to
Speaker 2: a printer. Three, no chords connecting to an external hard drive. Four,
Speaker 2: no chords connecting to anything. Five, no software to install, six,
Speaker 2: no software to download. Ten. A typewriter can't crash eleven,
Speaker 2: no fatal system error message twenty four. No font to
Speaker 2: choose twenty five, no font color to choose unless you
Speaker 2: have a two tone ribbon twenty six, no font size
Speaker 2: to choose twenty seven. You don't have to format your
Speaker 2: font twenty nine. No print button to push thirty three,
Speaker 2: no leaving your desk to retrieve your print at work.
Speaker 2: Thirty four. The typewriter can reflect your mood. If you
Speaker 2: are upset and you type harder as a result, it
Speaker 2: will show in your work because the keys will penetrate
Speaker 2: the paper. Thirty nine. I like baseball, Shirley Povich, use
Speaker 2: the typewriter. Need I say more? Forty There is no
Speaker 2: chance what you type will be uploaded inadvertently to the
Speaker 2: Internet for all the world to see, whether you want
Speaker 2: it to or not. Typewriters are secure and private. Forty one.
Speaker 2: There is no spell check. You need to learn how
Speaker 2: to spell and use a dictionary. In the process. You
Speaker 2: will improve your vocabulary. Forty two. There is no grammar check.
Speaker 2: Read Drunk and White and learn how to use it.
Speaker 2: You will improve your grammar. Forty three. No annoying perforate
Speaker 2: it red underlines telling you something is misspelled. Forty four
Speaker 2: no annoying perforated green underlines telling you something isn't punctuated properly.
Speaker 2: They are not always correct anyway. Fifty one. If you're
Speaker 2: working late and happen to fall asleep at the keyboard
Speaker 2: with one of your fingers pressing against the key. You
Speaker 2: won't wake up later to discover that you have just
Speaker 2: typed two three hundred and fifty nine pages of the
Speaker 2: letter K. Fifty three, no mouse fifty six. You don't
Speaker 2: get interrupted with emails fifty seven, No one tries to
Speaker 2: friend you. Sixty seven. When I am working on my typewriter,
Speaker 2: it can't be confused with playing solitaire or shopping on
Speaker 2: the web. Seventy one. When I type, I am not
Speaker 2: distracted by all the other things on a computer that
Speaker 2: are ultimately less fulfilling. Seventy two. Most of the good
Speaker 2: old typewriters were made in America. Seventy seven. There are
Speaker 2: no gamers on typewriters. Seventy eight. If a typewriter breaks,
Speaker 2: they rarely, if ever, do you take it to some
Speaker 2: old guy that has interesting stories to tell, rather than
Speaker 2: some young kid that doesn't know anything. You may not
Speaker 2: know it, but you probably have more in common with
Speaker 2: that old guy, even if you're not old. Seventy nine.
Speaker 2: You don't need extended warranties. You can't get them anyway.
Speaker 2: Eighty three. If someone sees you or hears you typing
Speaker 2: on a typewriter, they will stop and ask you about it,
Speaker 2: and you will have something interesting to discuss.
Speaker 3: No one ever asks me about my computer.
Speaker 2: Ninety one. If I want to quote unquote carbon copy someone,
Speaker 2: I get to use real carbon paper. Ninety two. Now
Speaker 2: my kids can learn what real carbon paper is and
Speaker 2: why they CC someone. Ninety three Another personal one. I
Speaker 2: now have a use for those three bottles of white
Speaker 2: aut I have been saving in my desk for so
Speaker 2: many years. Ninety nine You never have to reboot your typewriter,
Speaker 2: and what a terrific piece by Bert Rossiica.
Speaker 1: He is still hacking away at the typewriter and loves it.
Speaker 1: Bert Rossiica's ninety nine reasons why a typewriter is better
Speaker 1: than a computer. Here on our American story