WEBVTT - 99 Reasons a Typewriter Beats a Computer

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<v Speaker 1>And we continue with our American stories, and now a

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<v Speaker 1>story from one of our regular contributors, Bert Rossiica.

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<v Speaker 2>In twenty twelve, for reasons known only to Providence, I

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<v Speaker 2>decided to type a list of the reasons why a

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<v Speaker 2>manual typewriter is better than a computer. My intent when

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<v Speaker 2>I started was to come up with ninety nine reasons.

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<v Speaker 2>The reason I settled on ninety nine was because back

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<v Speaker 2>in nineteen eighty five, Tom Boswell.

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<v Speaker 3>Who was then the beat reporter for.

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<v Speaker 2>Baseball for the Washington Post, was given an assignment by

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<v Speaker 2>his editor to come up with the ninety nine reasons

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<v Speaker 2>why baseball is better than football. And as he tells

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<v Speaker 2>the story, he comes into the office at nine in

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<v Speaker 2>the morning and his editor tells him he needs on

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<v Speaker 2>his desk by twelve o'clock at least ninety nine reasons.

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<v Speaker 2>Boswell goes back to his office a little anxious that

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<v Speaker 2>he may or may not be able to accomplish the

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<v Speaker 2>task and the time allotted, and proceeds to write on

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<v Speaker 2>his typewriter. According to him, it took him forty five

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<v Speaker 2>minutes to complete the task, and it became an instant

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<v Speaker 2>classic and part of the pantheon of baseball. The reason

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<v Speaker 2>I had a newfound appreciation for the typewriter had to

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<v Speaker 2>do with the fact that our then twelve year old

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<v Speaker 2>son shows up one day with the typewriter. I asked him,

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<v Speaker 2>why in the world did you buy a typewriter, and

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<v Speaker 2>he told me I always wanted one. Dad, I thought,

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<v Speaker 2>all right. He got the typewriter at a thrift store

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<v Speaker 2>in our town. And the reason he was at the

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<v Speaker 2>thrift store was because, at the age of twelve, he

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<v Speaker 2>decided he did not want to attend the katillion at

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<v Speaker 2>his school wearing khaki colored chinos. He wanted to wear

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<v Speaker 2>Nantucket red colored chinos. And I told my wife, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't feel like spending like one hundred.

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<v Speaker 3>Dollars of Brooks Brothers or Nordstroms or some other place

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<v Speaker 3>for a kid to wear Nantucket red chinos for six

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<v Speaker 3>months and then grow out of them.

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<v Speaker 2>So I said, take him to the thrift store. So

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<v Speaker 2>he came back from the thrift store without the chinos,

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<v Speaker 2>but with the typewriter. So I said, what did you

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<v Speaker 2>pay for it? Fifteen dollars, Dad, fifteen dollars for a typewriter. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>the guy wanted thirty, Dad, but I told him it

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<v Speaker 2>didn't work, so I'd only give him fifteen. I tried

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<v Speaker 2>to get it for ten, but he insisted on fifteen.

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<v Speaker 2>The kid's twelve years old, negotiating with the thrift store

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<v Speaker 2>manager or owner or whatever he was. So he has

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<v Speaker 2>this fifteen dollars typewriter that doesn't work. Why'd you get

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<v Speaker 2>a typewriter if it doesn't work, he said, I figured

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<v Speaker 2>you could fix it. Dad. He said, all right, it's

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<v Speaker 2>a reasonable answer. Let's take it down to the bench

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<v Speaker 2>and see what we can do. So take it down

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<v Speaker 2>to my workbench. Finally we get the thing working well.

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<v Speaker 2>We proceed to then argue over who gets to use

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<v Speaker 2>the typewriter. I wanted to use it. He didn't want

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<v Speaker 2>to let me. I argued, I fixed it. He argued,

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<v Speaker 2>I paid for it. Why don't you get your own typewriter?

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<v Speaker 2>So I did, And then I got another, and then another,

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<v Speaker 2>and then another, and the next thing I know, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>collecting and restoring old manual typewriters. And I started writing,

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<v Speaker 2>and in the process of that, I realized writing on

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<v Speaker 2>a typewriter is way more enjoyable than writing on a computer.

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<v Speaker 2>One day, I'm typing away on a typewriter writing heaven

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<v Speaker 2>knows what, and I'm thinking this is great. I also

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<v Speaker 2>start thinking about the Boswell list, said, wonder if I

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<v Speaker 2>can come up with ninety nine reasons why a typewriter

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<v Speaker 2>is better than a computer. So put a piece of

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<v Speaker 2>paper in the typewriter and I started the type and

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<v Speaker 2>here's what I came up with. I'm going to go

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<v Speaker 2>through the list. Some of them are a little redundant.

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<v Speaker 2>In fact, I think some.

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<v Speaker 3>Are absolutely redundant.

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<v Speaker 2>Now for those of you who have never typed on

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<v Speaker 2>a typewriter, you're just going to have to use your imagination. Now,

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<v Speaker 2>for those of us old enough to have typed on

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<v Speaker 2>a typewriter, I think some of these things might strike

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<v Speaker 2>a chord. Speaking of which, the number one reason is

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<v Speaker 2>there are no power chords. Two, no chords connecting to

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<v Speaker 2>a printer. Three, no chords connecting to an external hard drive. Four,

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<v Speaker 2>no chords connecting to anything. Five, no software to install, six,

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<v Speaker 2>no software to download. Ten. A typewriter can't crash eleven,

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<v Speaker 2>no fatal system error message twenty four. No font to

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<v Speaker 2>choose twenty five, no font color to choose unless you

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<v Speaker 2>have a two tone ribbon twenty six, no font size

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<v Speaker 2>to choose twenty seven. You don't have to format your

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<v Speaker 2>font twenty nine. No print button to push thirty three,

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<v Speaker 2>no leaving your desk to retrieve your print at work.

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<v Speaker 2>Thirty four. The typewriter can reflect your mood. If you

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<v Speaker 2>are upset and you type harder as a result, it

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<v Speaker 2>will show in your work because the keys will penetrate

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<v Speaker 2>the paper. Thirty nine. I like baseball, Shirley Povich, use

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<v Speaker 2>the typewriter. Need I say more? Forty There is no

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<v Speaker 2>chance what you type will be uploaded inadvertently to the

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<v Speaker 2>Internet for all the world to see, whether you want

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<v Speaker 2>it to or not. Typewriters are secure and private. Forty one.

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<v Speaker 2>There is no spell check. You need to learn how

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<v Speaker 2>to spell and use a dictionary. In the process. You

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<v Speaker 2>will improve your vocabulary. Forty two. There is no grammar check.

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<v Speaker 2>Read Drunk and White and learn how to use it.

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<v Speaker 2>You will improve your grammar. Forty three. No annoying perforate

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<v Speaker 2>it red underlines telling you something is misspelled. Forty four

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<v Speaker 2>no annoying perforated green underlines telling you something isn't punctuated properly.

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<v Speaker 2>They are not always correct anyway. Fifty one. If you're

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<v Speaker 2>working late and happen to fall asleep at the keyboard

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<v Speaker 2>with one of your fingers pressing against the key. You

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<v Speaker 2>won't wake up later to discover that you have just

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<v Speaker 2>typed two three hundred and fifty nine pages of the

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<v Speaker 2>letter K. Fifty three, no mouse fifty six. You don't

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<v Speaker 2>get interrupted with emails fifty seven, No one tries to

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<v Speaker 2>friend you. Sixty seven. When I am working on my typewriter,

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<v Speaker 2>it can't be confused with playing solitaire or shopping on

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<v Speaker 2>the web. Seventy one. When I type, I am not

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<v Speaker 2>distracted by all the other things on a computer that

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<v Speaker 2>are ultimately less fulfilling. Seventy two. Most of the good

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<v Speaker 2>old typewriters were made in America. Seventy seven. There are

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<v Speaker 2>no gamers on typewriters. Seventy eight. If a typewriter breaks,

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<v Speaker 2>they rarely, if ever, do you take it to some

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<v Speaker 2>old guy that has interesting stories to tell, rather than

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<v Speaker 2>some young kid that doesn't know anything. You may not

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<v Speaker 2>know it, but you probably have more in common with

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<v Speaker 2>that old guy, even if you're not old. Seventy nine.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't need extended warranties. You can't get them anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>Eighty three. If someone sees you or hears you typing

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<v Speaker 2>on a typewriter, they will stop and ask you about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and you will have something interesting to discuss.

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<v Speaker 3>No one ever asks me about my computer.

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<v Speaker 2>Ninety one. If I want to quote unquote carbon copy someone,

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<v Speaker 2>I get to use real carbon paper. Ninety two. Now

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<v Speaker 2>my kids can learn what real carbon paper is and

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<v Speaker 2>why they CC someone. Ninety three Another personal one. I

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<v Speaker 2>now have a use for those three bottles of white

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<v Speaker 2>aut I have been saving in my desk for so

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<v Speaker 2>many years. Ninety nine You never have to reboot your typewriter,

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<v Speaker 2>and what a terrific piece by Bert Rossiica.

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<v Speaker 1>He is still hacking away at the typewriter and loves it.

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<v Speaker 1>Bert Rossiica's ninety nine reasons why a typewriter is better

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<v Speaker 1>than a computer. Here on our American story