WEBVTT - When Your Body Doesn’t “Bounce Back” ft. @ChoosingChelsea 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:05.360 I won't lend my body out out everything that I'm made. 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:09.200 DOT won't spend my life trying to change. I'm learning 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.920 to love who I am. I get I'm strong, I 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:16.720 feel free, I know who every part of me. It's 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:24.400 beautiful and I will always out way if you feel it. 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:27.360 With your hays in the air, She'll love to the 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:31.520 poet there say goode day and time did you and 0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:37.920 die out? Welcome back to La everyone. We've got myself, 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:42.400 We've got Amy, and we've got Chelsea Culbertson. Welcome Chelsea. Hi, 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:45.960 so happy to be here. It's possible you already follow 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:50.320 Chelsea on Instagram. She's choosing Chelsea will put her information 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:53.239 below just in case you don't. But you all have 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.480 been asking for somebody to come on and talk about 0:00:56.560 --> 0:01:01.200 the postpartum experience. And who better or than freshly in 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:05.240 that postpartum experience than Chelsea. Chelsea shares it all on 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:07.200 social media, and I think you just do a really 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:11.640 good job of being you, which is kind of hard 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:14.440 to do on social media when especially in the world 0:01:14.480 --> 0:01:17.920 that can you know, pick you apart. So congratulations and 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.280 we can't wait to hear about how you're doing. Thank 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:22.920 you thank you so much. That's what a great introduction. 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:24.640 And yeah, I mean it's hard to be you, but 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.400 also I don't know how to not be, so sometimes 0:01:27.440 --> 0:01:29.520 it feels like I just don't have a filter. But 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:32.399 that's fine. Well you've been doing it just like that 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:35.800 for years and going through your big life transitions has 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:39.880 been interesting. So you have two daughters now, yes, my 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.919 older daughters twelve. I had her when I was seventeen, 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:46.440 so a baby, having a baby, and I just had 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:50.919 my newborn at the end of March and she's almost 0:01:50.960 --> 0:01:54.600 three months, so yeah, twelve year age gaps. It's literally 0:01:55.240 --> 0:01:58.840 like starting all over again. Everything feels brand new, including 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:03.520 the postpartum experience and assume, oh yeah, it's such a blur. 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:08.560 And I only remember like the recovery part from the 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:13.440 being postpartum with my first and I just remember being 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:16.080 like I didn't know I was gonna like bleed for that, 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.600 Like you just don't You're not taught all this stuff, 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:21.400 and so much was like a surprise to me. I 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.640 was like, wait, it's gonna sting horribly when I pe 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:28.280 for the next like however many weeks because of who 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:33.000 knows what happened down below and uh so, yeah, but now, yeah, 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.760 it's so much more. It feels like it's hard to 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:39.040 even put it into words, but it's a whole new experience. 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.040 And you've been so proactive about body image over the 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.560 last I don't know, we've been following each other for 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:49.280 many years. I imagine when you were seventeen, your body 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:54.280 image woes were different than your body image woes now 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.640 twelve years later after your second Or is it the 0:02:57.720 --> 0:03:00.959 same despite the amount of work that you put into 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:04.480 you know, loving yourself. No, it's so different. And just 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:07.239 for like a little bit of background, my my Instagram 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.360 page started as like a fitness account and like a 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.600 weight loss account, and then as I went through that journey, 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:17.960 I transitioned into more of you know, self love, body acceptance, 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:23.280 body confidence, trying to find that happy middle ground. And 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:27.760 then I transcentioned this new postpartument period. And when I 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.480 was seventeen, I had always been like a bigger girl. 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:33.919 I carried a lot more weight. I was always very chubby, 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.440 and since I was seventeen, I actually spent a majority 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:42.160 of my pregnancy hiding my pregnancy. I didn't even tell 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:45.000 my mom or anyone in my family. I was pregnant 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.800 until I was six and a half months pregnant, so 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:51.320 I wasn't really focusing on my body at all except 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:52.920 for just trying to like hide it, and I was 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.960 able to mask it pretty well because I was a 0:03:56.000 --> 0:04:00.280 little bigger. And then after that, I wasn't really looking 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:02.800 at my body. I wasn't taking a lot of pictures, 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.600 I wasn't focusing on my body very much at all. 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.960 But then I continued to just gain so much weight 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:13.280 after that pregnancy because I kind of kept eating as 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:16.560 if I was pregnant still, so that started my whole 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:19.200 weight loss journey after gaining a ton of weight from that. 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.839 But this time around, I've had so much more of 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:26.200 a focus on my body the entire time because I'm 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:30.680 always taking pictures, I'm showing up online, I'm sharing about 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:34.480 my body image and trying to be accepting of my body. 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.520 And it's so much more like in the field of 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:41.000 vision when it's become part of my brand and what 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:44.000 I talk about. And then that opens me up to 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.799 be more self critical about my my postpartum body because 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:51.640 I can really see the difference between what it looks 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.760 like now and what it looks like before I got pregnant, 0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.280 and then you know, add into the fact that a 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.359 pandemic hit months before I got pregnan in and not 0:05:00.480 --> 0:05:02.840 throw things through a loop with my body too. So 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:06.080 it's been interesting to see the least. You put up 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:09.760 a recent post on Instagram and this is the caption 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.360 that was with it. What I hear and you quoted 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:16.440 things you hear from people. You look amazing, you don't 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.479 even look like you had a baby. I wish I 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:21.600 look like that postpartum breastfeeding will have you losing all 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.480 that extra weight in no time. And then you wrote 0:05:24.640 --> 0:05:28.560 the reality, I don't feel amazing. I do look like 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:30.680 I just had a baby. You see this hair and 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.200 the bags under my eyes? Right? I wish I look 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.640 like a lot of people postpartum. But do I really 0:05:36.000 --> 0:05:38.600 not so much? Do I want to be them? Nope? 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:41.760 Is it weight loss my goal of breastfeeding? No? And 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:44.839 does it always help you lose weight? Also no. Remember 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.120 we don't always see the full picture. Everything has so 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.120 much more depth to it than what you see on 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.600 the outside. I chose this post to bring up I 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.160 always like to scroll through people's instagrams and see if 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.200 I can paint a picture of kind of who the 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.800 person is, what they're about with their Instagram feed has 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:00.960 on there, and you know made me think of something 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.960 Lisa and I tried to concentrate on here in our 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:07.359 outweigh family is like, first of all, just commenting on 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:11.640 people's bodies in general. So like when when people have 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.440 said things to you, maybe even while you were pregnant 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:19.920 and postpartum, how do you handle that, Like if someone says, oh, 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:23.479 breastfeeding will have you lose that weight in no time, 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:26.800 Like do you just kind of let that go or 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:30.240 is it a time to maybe help educate them on 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:33.919 commenting about people's bodies or how do you handle that personally? 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:39.160 It's crazy because I think during pregnancy and maybe at 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.080 the beginning of my postpartum journey, that would give me 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.560 a little grain of hope because you know, we still 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.039 have that ingrained in us, like, oh, having that weight 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.039 loss would be great, Like I would love to get 0:06:49.480 --> 0:06:51.640 you know, a little bit of my body back as 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.200 as it was, so that old part of your brain 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:58.320 is like, oh, hopefulness. But then the reality sets in 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:02.200 when you realize that not only do a lot of 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.920 people not lose weight by breastfeeding, but a lot of 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.320 them gain weight from breastfeeding because you're having to nurture 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.000 your body so much more to help with the milk 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:16.360 production for the baby, which I didn't realize how common 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:18.920 this was until actually I posted that, and I scrolled 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.120 through all the comments, and I saw how many women 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.200 were like, I can't stand when I hear that, because 0:07:25.200 --> 0:07:28.160 it's not true. It wasn't true for me. I gained 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:31.960 weight while breastfeeding, and it hurts to hear that. And 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:34.080 so now when it comes up, I do try to, 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.480 you know, gently educate and be like, you know, that's 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.280 actually not true. A lot of women don't lose weight 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:43.360 by breastfeeding, or the opposite happened, so it's not really true. 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:45.680 I love that when you said that that you had 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.320 to nurture your body more. I think that's an important 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.920 way to describe it, because some people are like they 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:54.760 might have in their head like oh, I can't stop eating, 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.480 I'm just eating this or craving this or craving that. 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.600 But really, when it comes down to your orchering your 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:03.600 body and giving it the calories that it needs to 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:08.080 produce the milk and feed another life, yeah, exactly. As 0:08:08.120 --> 0:08:11.440 a nurse and somebody who at least for the last 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:14.160 few years. I know your journey has transitioned a bit 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.600 from where it started, which is natural. You're somebody that 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:21.400 fights diet culture every day by showing up and sharing 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:26.800 your story. How do you fight the culture of people saying, oh, 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:30.360 you should breastfeed because you'll lose weight. Like, let's just 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.200 say that was a fact, which we now know it's 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:35.240 not right. But let's just say every time every woman 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:38.640 that breastfeed loses weight. How do we get those two 0:08:38.679 --> 0:08:41.959 apart so that women want to breastfeed and get the 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:45.360 joys of breastfeeding, assuming it's joyful. I don't know, but 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:48.239 you know, I'm sure it comes with lots of difficulty 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.680 as well. But how can we separate those two in 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:54.520 conversation and go back to what breastfeeding is really about? Yeah? 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:57.200 I think it ultimately comes down to what is the 0:08:57.200 --> 0:09:00.800 point of breastfeeding and the point of breastfeeding how absolutely 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:05.720 nothing to do with your weight. Breastfeeding is to feed 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:10.360 your baby, so your baby gains weight or your baby 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.840 is nourished. Like, that is what it comes down to, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.280 And I think people often forget that with that statement 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:20.480 because we're just so ingrained to feel like we need 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.120 to bounce back, we need to get our body back, 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:26.079 and so they're like, this can help, this will do it, 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.840 and they say it as like, I don't know, to 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.640 make you feel good or to keep you hopeful. It's 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.040 it's very bizarre, and I'm like, who planting that idea 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:40.199 and like made that something that everyone things happens. Were 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.920 they trying to get more people to breastfeed from that? 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.640 I just don't understand. I mean, I'm sitting here starting 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:48.240 to wonder if that was something that was planted just 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:52.240 to yeah, make women feel better about doing it, or 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:54.200 it is like a goal to like make it happen 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:56.440 so that in their head they're like, Okay, I'm doing this, 0:09:56.520 --> 0:09:59.400 I'm doing this. And it's almost like sometimes I've I've 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:01.720 never been praying in it. So I'm just speaking here. 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:05.360 I do have two children that they're adopted, and I'm 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:09.120 trying to think, like, shouldn't the real thing be if 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:12.280 you do choose to breastfeed. Some people may not, which 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:16.200 is totally their choice, but shouldn't the real focus be, Oh, 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:18.839 I'm I can't wait to breastfeed so that I can 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:22.360 have that crazy connection with my child. Instead what we 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.800 have grown up hearing is, Oh, I can't wait to 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:27.520 breastfeed because it will help me lose a few of 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:32.680 these pounds, which I am appreciative of certain people in 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.640 the spotlight that are saying I don't want to have 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:38.720 my pre baby body back, Like I'm gonna stop saying 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:41.080 that to myself. Like Marion Morris was in the news 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.600 a couple of months ago saying, you know, admitting that 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.040 she was someone that had said, maybe not even publicly, 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.040 but to herself like I'm working to get my pre 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:54.880 baby body back. And she she has quite the following 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:57.959 and has so many girls that look up to her 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:01.280 and women that I was so thankful to hear her 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.800 post and say, yeah, I'm gonna stop saying that to myself. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:07.840 And some of it, yeah, you like you have a 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:10.760 very online presence, so you're able to speak into people, 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:12.960 but sometimes it's the narrative that we have quietly in 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.920 our head, like people might be thinking, oh, I need 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.040 to get my my pre baby body back, And thank 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.920 you for being part of helping change that narrative. And 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:25.480 and it's hard because I'm myself, I'm not comfortable in 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:30.680 my new postpartum body. It feels very strange. I feel 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.640 disconnected a little bit. It's starting to be better now, 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:39.160 but it's this whole new person. It's like you birth 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.600 of baby, and you're getting to know this baby that 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.120 grew inside you for nine months, and you're able to 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:47.920 get excited about the changes happening in your body through 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.160 that nine months because you're seeing the growth of your 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:53.920 baby happen. But then you have this new baby who 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.679 you just love and adore. But then you kind of 0:11:56.760 --> 0:12:00.400 birth this new you at the same time mine that 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:02.800 you're trying to get to know that you're not used 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:07.719 to your clothes don't fit, things, just don't feel comfortable. 0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:11.000 Add onto the fact that you you can't work out, 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:15.560 you are probably eating differently than you were before, definitely 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:19.600 more sporadically. You're you're probably snacking, eating less, eating more, 0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:22.760 doing whatever you can. Basically you're in survival mode at first, 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:27.240 and you're probably not getting as much sunshine. Just so 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.120 many changes, so many changes are happening that are impacting 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:36.000 not only your physical appearance, but how you feel internally. 0:12:36.160 --> 0:12:39.199 That also affects your body image. I don't know about you, 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.280 but it doesn't matter how I actually look if I'm 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.160 not moving my body, eating well in a way that 0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.440 makes me feel good, getting some decent sunshine, I feel 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:51.600 like crap. And if I feel like crap, I look 0:12:51.640 --> 0:12:53.520 in the mirror. It doesn't matter if I look great, 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:57.359 quote unquote great or what not. I'd be like, Oh, 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.640 my body not a fan right now. It's not a 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:03.240 fan because I don't feel good inside. And I think 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.560 that that's something that's so many new moms struggle with, 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:10.280 where they just don't feel good because of all these 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:14.280 new elements, and it often is reflected in their body 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:16.800 image because that's the easiest thing they can pinpoint. Because 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:18.840 they look in the mirror and they don't look the same, 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:21.360 They don't look like they used to. They see a 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:25.240 stranger looking back at them. They're exhausted, they have this 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:29.120 new life and and it's hard. And so then you 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:30.640 have that little voice in the back of your head 0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.120 like things would be so much easier if at least 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.600 my body was what it used to be. Things would 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.360 be so much easier if I could just fit into 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:41.280 my clothes again, and and if something couldn't be normal again. 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:47.080 And so it is this very difficult, delicate balance of 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:51.439 I want to feel good and I want to look 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:55.200 a certain way because that's how I'm comfortable, and then 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:58.280 trying to navigate. Let's break that down, what's going on? 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:02.040 Do I really want to look that way? Do I 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:06.120 need something else? It's very complicated and complex, and I'm 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.600 trying to figure it out myself because I wasn't super 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:12.120 comfortable in my body, but for many of those reasons, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:16.600 because I wasn't moving, I wasn't eating properly, and I 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.760 wasn't getting outside, and I just felt like crap. It's 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.560 so interesting because it's such a natural process for a woman. 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.680 I'm putting that in air quotes so everyone could hear 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:29.320 that I'm doing that. But I never realized how disregulating 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:31.680 those first few weeks are. When you said, you know, 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:35.320 a new mom is exhausted. She says no sleep, She 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:39.440 has probably no access to nourishing meals because that takes time, 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:42.760 you know, no access to sunshine, and then all of 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:45.000 a sudden, you know, you look in the mirror and 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.400 you blame it all on the way you look when 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.080 there's so many things, like you said, components that make 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.600 you feel good. But body image is such a low 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.200 hanging fruit, the one that we're allowed to complain about 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.240 the one that we're allowed to work on. And I 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:01.200 love this post that you did about your prey Nancy clothes. 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:03.120 You said, I have no idea when I'll fit into 0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.440 my pre pregnancy clothes or if I'll ever fit into them. 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:10.320 And while I could continue to wear leggings and oversized clothes, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.960 I'm sick of not feeling cute, so I went shopping. 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.720 There's been more failures than successes. There's been a lot 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.960 of sizing up. It has not been the most fun experience. 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:21.480 But now I have some clothes that fit me as 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:23.440 I am now in the body that I have now, 0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.960 and that feels good. I'm not saying I always love 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:28.000 how I look in these new clothes, but I can 0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:31.000 be okay in them, and for now, that's enough. And 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:35.960 there's just so much in that post to really savor 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:39.000 and digest, because it, first of all, applies to all 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:42.400 women who are experiencing a change in their body that 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.640 are frustrated every time they go to try on clothing 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.560 that want to feel cute, but instead of putting on 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:52.520 oversized clothing because they think they shouldn't invest in something 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:56.880 for now, And there's nothing wrong with looking cute putting 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:59.520 on clothes that fit you now and being okay with 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.800 your body just as it is in this moment. So 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:06.240 I I personally just really thank you for that post too, 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.560 because I can't imagine how many women recently pregnant or 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.920 not are just like, yes, I should go get clothes 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.560 that fit me now. Maybe not an entire new wardrobe, 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:17.760 because I don't know where this body is going, but 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.560 I want to feel good tomorrow walking out the door. Yeah. Yeah. 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:25.320 And I actually I was a little heartbroken because I 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.280 put up a pole and I was or a little 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:29.600 question box, and I was like, how long did you 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:33.280 wait after baby to go shopping again and buy new clothes, 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:38.080 And the amount of responses saying, I'm a year postpartum, 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:41.840 I still haven't going shopping, I'm still wearing my maternity clothes, 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.600 or I'm still wearing the same leggings and baggy shirt 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.640 that I have been this whole time, and so many 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.400 responses like that, and you can just tell that they 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:54.320 just don't feel good about themselves and that they're like 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.840 afraid to go shopping, They're afraid to go try on 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:02.080 those new clothes, or they're holding out hope, they're waiting 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.920 they're waiting to get their body back and to fit 0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.840 into their old clothes again, which, like I said, I 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:10.679 don't know if it's ever going to happen. Not only 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:15.000 does your body get bigger in the obvious places, but 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.360 it kind of shifts shape a little bit too, Like 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.800 you're not the same proportions that you were before, So 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:23.960 you're kind of having to figure out how to address 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:28.800 a newly proportioned body and not just a bigger body, 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.399 if that makes sense. So it just it made me 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.679 really sad to see how many people were just not 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.080 excited to go shopping. And I get it. It can 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.000 be scary, it could be intimidating. It's taken me a 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:44.800 really long time to go from trying in the target 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:48.040 dressing room when I try and close that don't fit me, 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:51.680 because for so long you try and close they don't fit, 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.960 you think you're the problem. You think your body is 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:59.280 the problem, instead of realizing that piece of clothing is 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:02.240 the problem. Um, I either need to find a different 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:04.720 piece of clothing or try on a different size in 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:08.439 that clothing that actually works for my body, not the 0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:13.440 other way around. And I've now realized that I'm going 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:19.320 to have so many more failures of shopping experiences than successes. 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:23.000 Shopping takes so much patience. It takes going into it 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.639 knowing that, hey, a lot of this stuff is probably 0:18:26.680 --> 0:18:28.879 not gonna fit. I'm not gonna love how it looks 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:32.800 on me because it's not the right piece of clothing 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:36.840 for me, and just saying Okay, this isn't it. Moving on, 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.720 Let's try the next thing until you find the thing 0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:44.240 you love. But it's so easy to just get overwhelmed 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:49.320 by the negative shopping experiences that it makes you want 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.400 to avoid it completely, and then you miss out on 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.560 all these awesome pieces of clothes that might make you 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.000 feel really good because you don't want to go through it. 0:18:57.000 --> 0:18:59.399 It can be such a gut wrenching experience in so 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.000 many of these places where the lighting is just extra 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:06.080 awful and you're like fighting with tags that are stuck 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.520 on your body because it's too small of a garment. 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.440 You know, there's just so many things that make it 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.240 really uncomfortable. But I love what you said about knowing 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.439 that you're going to have more failures than successes. Like 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.399 also just knowing that majority of the things that you 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:21.440 put on are just not gonna work and that shape shifting, 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:24.080 like you said, that's happening, your body is changing. Makes 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.840 it even more challenging because normally you might know that, 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:29.640 let's say a line dresses look good on your body, right, 0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:32.239 and then you're walking into this store and you have 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.320 no even just being in pregnancy, like the style of dress. 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:37.960 I have no idea how to dress myself, And it's 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.800 just it's interesting to kind of go into it with 0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:43.720 the mindset of knowing, Hey, we're gonna give this a go. 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:46.359 We're not going to be attached to the outcomes, and 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:51.080 we're just going to find things that work just for today. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:54.520 In this postpartum space for you, how have you dealt 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:59.800 with any or have you dealt with any internal struggles 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:02.400 with certain people that you follow or stuff you come 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:07.280 across on Instagram of like comparison with other people that 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:10.359 are postpartum. I just didn't know if you could speak 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:12.520 to that at all and offer encouragement to people that 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:16.679 may find themselves in that position, whether pregnant now or 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:19.359 in postpartum, or might be pregnant one day, or just 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:22.320 even comparison online in general, What do you do to 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:27.080 help protect your brain from any thoughts. Oh yeah, And 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:30.720 it's so hard because while I used to compare my 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.800 body all the time to other people that I saw online, 0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:37.000 that hasn't necessarily been the top of mind. But I 0:20:37.119 --> 0:20:41.160 definitely catch myself comparing myself to others with a bunch 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:44.600 of different other things. And I don't know how it happened, 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:48.280 but I have so many friends online in a similar 0:20:48.320 --> 0:20:50.919 space that I am, and everyone just happened to get 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:53.920 pregnant at this same time and had babies all around 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:57.160 the same time. And it's so bizarre but also so amazing. 0:20:57.640 --> 0:21:00.840 But then that also leaves you compare are in yourselves, 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:05.520 whether you know, because Instagram is a business and it 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:09.520 can be so hard to see, you know, engagement differences 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:14.960 and brand partnership differences and stuff like that where some 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.240 people are creating this what I think is like really 0:21:18.240 --> 0:21:20.840 amazing content, and I'm like, how do you have the energy? 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:23.800 How do you have the energy? Like I can't even 0:21:23.840 --> 0:21:29.080 get dressed today, Like how are you writing these amazing captions? 0:21:29.119 --> 0:21:30.919 And you read a couple of good ones, I'm like, hey, 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:37.200 I have another one. Okay, I put some good stuff 0:21:37.200 --> 0:21:39.359 out there, but for the most problem, like how are 0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:41.280 you how are you doing this? And then I just 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:45.199 fall down this spiral of feeling like I'm inadequate or 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:48.600 feeling like I'm not good enough. And I'm sure you 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:52.080 must know Sarah of the Bird's Papaya. I don't know why, 0:21:52.119 --> 0:21:54.160 but me and all my other friends, we we can't 0:21:54.160 --> 0:21:56.800 help but compare ourselves to her because she's just like 0:21:56.840 --> 0:22:01.320 this anomaly, superhuman on Instagram, and we all kind of 0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:03.399 she's a friend of mine. I love her so much 0:22:03.720 --> 0:22:07.320 and I look up to her. And it's hard because 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:09.320