1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy is COVID edition. 2 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes, that Kevin Polo that. Yeah, No, 3 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,800 Speaker 1: I don't think I can do is doom hang on Friday? Why? Well, 4 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,319 Speaker 1: you know, I just I don't think I can do 5 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: another one, but I digret. Let's meet our alchemist, shall 6 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:25,440 Speaker 1: you know? Particularly orders say hello to James Heeney, Jimmy 7 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: not Jack. What was the last truly great film you enjoyed? 8 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:37,599 Speaker 1: Truly great film that I enjoyed? Um, gosh, I've been 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: watching a lot of series. What's the last movie I 10 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: really enjoyed? Take your time? Um? God, relaxed? Can we 11 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: come back? Hold on? Um god? Uh, oh god, that's correct? 12 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: Oh god? Was the movie we're looking for? George Byrne nine? 13 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: Thank you? Start the generator. It's Jessica Lowe. Don't jess 14 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 1: with me? Can you see Joey and if so? Thoughts? Um, yeah, 15 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: he is a thought. He's that over there. He got 16 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: a new mike and he's chin to stunting everyone. Yeah, 17 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: turn off the Sharon's Craig Katkowski cocao. Is this a 18 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: bad time? Yeah? I mean I've been trying to tell 19 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,559 Speaker 1: you since the beginning of this podcast. This time doesn't 20 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: work for me. The new year's in and I've made 21 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: every sacrifice to be here. I met, I met the pandemic. 22 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: But no, that's fine, Uh shaving your own damn timbers. 23 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: It's Christoph Varado christ like me. If you could turn 24 00:01:56,440 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: back time, what would you do with? Share nothing? She's perfect, 25 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: genius and last, but poop in your hand and call 26 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: it Tuesday if you think of it's Joey Greer dollar story. Tommy, 27 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: what's it take to get you to sleep at night? 28 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: These days? I don't. I refuse to Just going something 29 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:20,239 Speaker 1: about on weeks since since we've been asked to stay inside, 30 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: I haven't slept. So you said we were asked to 31 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: stay inside about seven weeks ago. So who mentioned it 32 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: to you eight weeks ago that you should stay inside? 33 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: There's a don't know, there's a marshmallow uh hackey sack 34 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: kind of thing that's been talking to means my gifts 35 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: at night, And he whispered into me and told me 36 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: that there is the uh, the third coming of the triumphant. 37 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: So I need to be ready for that, and that 38 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: means I can't sleep. I've been writing a lot about it, 39 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 1: So if anybody wants to come over, more than happy 40 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: to talk about it and show you my work, our work. 41 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: It's the human it's the human work. Thank you. All right, 42 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,320 Speaker 1: let's do a damn show. Most of our scenes have 43 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,679 Speaker 1: come from your listener emails. You're scene suggestions are wildly appreciated. 44 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,519 Speaker 1: The others came from the patron v Imp priority list. 45 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit your listener email scenes suggestion, 46 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: please write to the podcast that your name here at 47 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy 48 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: this dot com. See Number one comes from patron v 49 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: I P. Richard, who wrote, Hey everyone, my name is 50 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,080 Speaker 1: Ritchie and I live in North Dakota. I love your podcast. 51 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: It makes me laugh out loud often at work. I 52 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 1: don't try to hide my laughter because fuck it, it's 53 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: all right to seem crazy. I had an idea. I 54 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: had an idea for a scene. Some southern people who 55 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: have never seen snow gets stuck traveling up north. Cheers, 56 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: y'all keep doing what you do. Richard man, I thought 57 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: it was Richie, but okay, not told you want I'm 58 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: gonna tell you again. Everyone, just shut the hell up. 59 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: Back daddy of the pea. Daddy, what the hell, man, 60 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: cut your hands and piss in your hands. I do that. 61 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: Every time I do that, Samantha starts crying. You crying, 62 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: Come on, now, grow a pair. It just it smells 63 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: like like a pain with like he hasn't had water 64 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: in a long time. It's I don't want to hear 65 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: none that. All right. Now we're visiting your cousins, Get 66 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: up there. I want y'all show some respect. I haven't 67 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: seen the dogs age. Well, here's one thing. I ain't 68 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: eating nothing that that mama puts on the table. It's 69 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: all very bad for me. And you know that I'm 70 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: lactose intolerant, and you know that everything they put in 71 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: the plate, it has them cheese on it, smoth. You're 72 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:52,479 Speaker 1: gonna show some goddamn respect whatever is on that show. 73 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: Listen to daddy. Listen to Daddy. I'm not gonna show 74 00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: no respect. Smell stop, break it up, bright now listen. 75 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: Somebody wake up your mother, all right, ain't it's time 76 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: to shift? All right? I ain't gonna drive no one 77 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: your mother. I'm tired. I ain't waking her up. Somebody 78 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: wake your goddamn mama. I ain't waking. Now. She's scary, Daddy, 79 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: She's scared. I ain't gonna do it. What do y'all 80 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: do it? I ain't gonna do it. I ain't alright. 81 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: Y'all gone done, sucky did it? I'm fucking awake. Now? 82 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: What the fuck is going on in this car? You 83 00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: cocaine everywhere on the road. Who's god damn put the 84 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: cocaine on on the road. Oh my god, there's a 85 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 1: ship cocaine, daddy, going on here? Where did you drive 86 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,599 Speaker 1: us to? Look? Only I took a little detour. Okay, 87 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: there is apparently a nice, big old seven eleven up 88 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: on this track, and you're not thought, what the hell 89 00:05:53,839 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: going there? A big old mama, a big costco. We 90 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: get to the seven eleven, that's when I'll switch over 91 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,599 Speaker 1: and start driving. But I ain't going no goddamn place 92 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,559 Speaker 1: without my big goddamn good, big gold. But wait, daddy, daddy, 93 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: maybe we should pull over and touch this cocaine. Of 94 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: course we should. Everyone get out here. Let's all just 95 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: like who cocaine? It's Cocaine's numbing, my god, damn fingers. Jeez, 96 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: this is the best guy named cocaine. Just even the 97 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,600 Speaker 1: air itself is making me on No. Are we rich? Now? 98 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,239 Speaker 1: Are we rich? What the whole little ranch? We gotta 99 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: put some of this in the back of the car. 100 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: Get your look at down of the trunk to police. 101 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: Oh ship ship, they're gonna think all this Cocaine's are 102 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: cocaine natur natural? Natural? How's everybody doing? Good? Good, lovely? 103 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: I noticed you stopped in the middle of the inter state, 104 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,840 Speaker 1: and I was just hoping we could pull things over 105 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:56,279 Speaker 1: to the side of the road if, of course, but 106 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 1: we don't know whose it is. We were trying to 107 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,080 Speaker 1: clean it up to get it off of here. Okay, 108 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 1: so okay, well let's pull the car over and then 109 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: we can have ourselves. Yeah, that car in r so 110 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: in ours ours were just walking. We're all okay, all right? 111 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 1: Could could maybe a couple of you help me give 112 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: it a push drop me like that. It would be 113 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: awful neighborly to Uh. I'll go ahead and get in 114 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: the driver's seat. If i'll just take the well the 115 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 1: keys are still inside. That can just drive it to 116 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: the side of the road. Y'all just wait there for me. 117 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: If you wouldn't run getting his cart his car, get 118 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: that now, what is What are your fucking cousin's supposed 119 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: to be coming over? They were supposed to be here yesterday. Okay, well, 120 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: I'm I'm putting the food away. I'm not gonna have 121 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: it out food away, han, Look that cheese is curdling, 122 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: all right, I need to put it in the fridge 123 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: or toss it. They're Southern, they don't care. I care. 124 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 1: It stinks in here. Every time you have your strange 125 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: southern cousins come over, it's always just this weird thing 126 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: where I gotta make all these cheese dishes. Look, I've 127 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: got a respect where I came from. Okay, these people 128 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: are keeping it real, keeping it real, keeping it real. 129 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: They're imbeciles. That part of your family is dumb. Okay, 130 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: don't talk like that when they're here. Okay, I'll talk 131 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: how I please. I'm sick and tired of holding my 132 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: tongue around them. They say the most insane things. Insane things. 133 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: You know that when the boy, the young boy, I 134 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: saw him pete in his hands last time he was here. 135 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 1: That's how we do it. What Let me have more 136 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: of that cheese, it's colonel. Let me just get you 137 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: new cheese, Luke, please, I like it the way I 138 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: like it. Okay, God, you always put on this little 139 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,480 Speaker 1: act when they're around. You want to be a tough 140 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: Southern guy. Well you're in tech okay, look yeah, I'm 141 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: an I t guy. Okay. I went to school, I did. 142 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: I went to accent elimination classes. But you know when 143 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: they're here, you know it all comes out of me again. 144 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: Welcome to accent elimination class. I will take role. Please 145 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: speak in your native dialect. I have questions, yes, Tommy, okay. 146 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: Moving on. When I call your name, please say here. 147 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: I also have a question. Yes to me, okay, I 148 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: will go to the roll call. I will stick on 149 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: your accent. And that's what I want here in this room. 150 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: I want a lot of of of symbiosis. Right, we 151 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: will become each other and speak by each other. I 152 00:09:50,280 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 1: have a question, yes Tommy, okay, where are you all from? 153 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: By the way, I was trying to get to you, 154 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: That's what I was trying to get to you. Let's 155 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: go around and say that I have the teacher here. 156 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 1: You have a terrible You sound dumb, sir. So I'm 157 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:18,719 Speaker 1: a graduate student and not I came out to get it, 158 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: get it, get an education. What do you have a 159 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 1: degree in I have a I have an associate's degree 160 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 1: in communication. All right, so shall we everybody, let's say 161 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: this after me. Diction is done with the tip of 162 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: the tongue and the teeth. It's done. I have a question, 163 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: Yes to me, daddy, Daddy, go go faster, daddy. I'm trying, 164 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: God damage, to get to goddamn automatic. I don't know 165 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:54,880 Speaker 1: how to shift. Jesus, I like that. If it's an AMAC, 166 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 1: you don't ship. I think you're just putting it into 167 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: parking into the I's mission God or look, everyone's gonna 168 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: get out and pretend like it was not to try 169 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: to take his car. What the hell is I found 170 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: this in the back? Mama? Oh good, good, good, good good. Okay, 171 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,679 Speaker 1: listen everyone, everyone take one new shot guns here, right, 172 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 1: and let's all split up. All right, let's all split up, 173 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: and let's all just run through the woods and try 174 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,960 Speaker 1: to find some kind of I don't know, underground mold 175 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,600 Speaker 1: people or maybe a wizard or something that can wish 176 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: for this. All the did not have happened, all right, 177 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: So let's just all take Yeah, hey, thank you all 178 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: very much for joining me for today's Mold People meeting. 179 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 1: If they're not any questions, will just move on to 180 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: new business. Yet, Yeah, you got equation. What is he saying? 181 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 1: All right, y'all probably wondering if Tommy's gonna be here today? 182 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: And the answers ah, every every every meeting, people last 183 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: for Tommy, and the same answer every time. I don't 184 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: think he's coming back against It's what I'm laying. But 185 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,800 Speaker 1: we are. We are proud mo people, and we will 186 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,839 Speaker 1: get along without Tommy. Now his brother Dicky, we'll be 187 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: joining us today, Dicky, did you want to say hellod 188 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: of the group. Dicky's gonna shot Okay, I'll stay hello 189 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: to the group. It's just h It's often times I'm 190 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: just a stenographer and it's hard for me to talk 191 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: when I'm typing what everybody else is saying. But I 192 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 1: would just like to tell you all that I've been 193 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 1: using copy paste for the question Tommy for so we 194 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,959 Speaker 1: don't care. Where's Tommy? First, He's never come and it's 195 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: to and I didn't want to say this, but Tommy, 196 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: Tommy is no longer with us. He decided to go 197 00:12:54,520 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: up top. Al right, officers gather, gathering, gather in my office. 198 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 1: I want everybody here, everybody here, all the top here, hoide, 199 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,719 Speaker 1: I don't care in here. I want you, I want you, 200 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: I want you in my office now. The first forty 201 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 1: eight are so important. Listen up, listen up here. Guess 202 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: who lost Please, I'm supposed to be on desk duty. 203 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: Do you really want me here? I've been taking off 204 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: the streets for a while. I want you here, I 205 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 1: want you here, and I want you here. And two 206 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: weeks from retirement, you keep saying that every guy, damn 207 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 1: week and I'm getting to open this ship. But go ahead, Kevin, Well, 208 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,079 Speaker 1: I just about you. I'm glad you spoke up. You 209 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: were getting old because you lost another squad car. Do 210 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: I have to be here? No, Phyllis, you don't have 211 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 1: to be here because you're not an actual cop. Oh 212 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: I'm not. Well, then, what are you gonna do about 213 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 1: all these handcuffs? Huh? You're Jason's girlfriend. And by the way, 214 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: it's really inappropriate that you're here. Oh yeah, captain, if 215 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,760 Speaker 1: I may, there was a car in the middle of 216 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: the highway that I heard the goddamn story. You read 217 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: my report, so you know that I didn't that much 218 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,599 Speaker 1: of a choice but to hop in the car and 219 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 1: try to pull it up. Listen, if this just would 220 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: have been the first time this happened this year, Fine, 221 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: this is the seventh car you've lost. Take his badge? 222 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: Give me all right, Phillis is right, give me your badge. 223 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: Oh ship, all ship, you're gonna be able deaf dude 224 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: with me. Why are we doing anything that? Phillis says Jimmy, 225 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 1: she's Jason's girlfriend. Jason's girlfriend. He's a good guy. Yeah, okay, 226 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: here's my badge, Phillis. Phillis, put that on. I'm a 227 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: cop now, Captain. I know I'm only two weeks from retirement, 228 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: but uh, the accents of this particular squadron are all 229 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: over the place. Could we Is there any way to 230 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: send us to acts an elimination class to develop up 231 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: some sort of uh you know, uniform accent that we 232 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: could all have each other. And I don't care. I 233 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: need to find this murderer. Can we decide which accent 234 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: we want all of us to do before we go there? Well, 235 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: Captain lead us, all right, I say we should all 236 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: do a mid Atlantic mid Atlantic I'm not sure I 237 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: even know what a mid Atlantic class. I'll send you 238 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:30,880 Speaker 1: to class it's like Catherine Hepburn from the forties. Isn't 239 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: that a time accent, welcomed accents, elimination or audition class? 240 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: Now your captain has asked that you all have a 241 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: time accent. Yes, question, Yes, I'm gonna shoot that. He 242 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: says the T word. I'm gonna fucking shoot him. You 243 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 1: shut up, a bitch. This class has been interrupted. I'm 244 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: paying for this goddamn class. I'm trying to get my 245 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: goddamn accent to be a forties accent. Please please, you 246 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: get out of this class. You're wasting my time. Get up, 247 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: get up, get up, no police and no police, and 248 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: get up. Please now walk out the room. Please please 249 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 1: shut the door behind you, please please shut it. Wow, 250 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: I made it to the Big seven eleven. Excuse me? 251 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: Is this really the world's largest seven eleven? Holy car? You? Okay, sir? 252 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: M used to be I'm two years old. What mm hmmm, 253 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,880 Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. Pick of the 254 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: thirty paces in front of you, only the right one, 255 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: only the purest of pure. We'll know which pizza to take. 256 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,600 Speaker 1: I remember Mama telling me something like this, if there's 257 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: ever thirty pieces in front of you, you choose the 258 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 1: six from the left one to three, four, five, this one? 259 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 1: But remember is it six from your left or is 260 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:19,359 Speaker 1: it six from his laft? Mm hmmm. Did I make 261 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: the right call? Sir? You did. You're in charge of 262 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: the seven eleven. Now what I have to die? Wait? 263 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: Hold on, I have some cocaine here. Put this in 264 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: your mouth. They're gonna turn me ice. What is that? 265 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 1: It's that good stuff that they call it ice in Hawaii. 266 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: It's just meth. I meth's yeah, exactly, it's mad. It's mad. No, 267 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:48,440 Speaker 1: this is just your Hi, welcome to seven eleven. Canna 268 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: help you? Hi? Yeah? I want to get some quarters? Okay, 269 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 1: right this way, here's the aisle here, Aisle six has 270 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: all the quarters you need. Thank you so much. You're welcome. 271 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: M big old seven and eleven. Just like a Costco. 272 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,920 Speaker 1: I ain't never been to Costco. I'm looking for my woman. 273 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: Should come in here. What's your woman looked like? Sir? 274 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:16,680 Speaker 1: About six? Eight? M Wow? Look at me running a 275 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: seven and eleven. It's the size of a Costco? What 276 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: the hell's of Costco? Don't talk to you? So look, 277 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,400 Speaker 1: either you decide okay them or me, or I'm out 278 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: of here. You know, there's trees. Is unbelievable. Oh my god, Okay, 279 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: you know what, I think. You've made your choice. I'm 280 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: just gonna go. I'm gonna go back with my parents. 281 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: I don't care. Come on, I don't care. Come on. 282 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 1: What your parents are comatas like that, You're gonna be 283 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: able to take care of you. They'll figure it out. Okay. Hey, 284 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: if you guys split up, who's gonna take me to 285 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 1: a cross practice? Sharon? I don't know. Okay, for the 286 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,720 Speaker 1: last time, I didn't want to adopt you. Okay, I 287 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: didn't want to have you in the house. That is 288 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 1: so hurtful you can't even believe it. Wait a minute, 289 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,399 Speaker 1: I didn't want to adopt Jarren either. How did we 290 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: end up with him? What the hell? You didn't want him? No? 291 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 1: What the fuck? I sorry you had to hear it 292 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: this way, Jared. This is fucking horrible. That tell us 293 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 1: about it, Jared, Okay, because we gotta deal with this. 294 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: God damn it. Look okay, fine, I'll take him every 295 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: two days. You take him six eight months out of 296 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:26,160 Speaker 1: the year, Babe. There's a cop car outside. Oh shit, Okay, Jared, 297 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,000 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to take the fall for this, Okay. 298 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: What's why, whatever it is, Jared can take the fall front, Okay, 299 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: Because you're the youngest. You have the most life ahead 300 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,760 Speaker 1: of you. So if you get the twenty years in prison, 301 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,480 Speaker 1: you'll come out and you still find yourself the rest 302 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: of your life. Why are we assuming that any of 303 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: us are going to prison. I'm just saying that, Luke, 304 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: I don't know, Okay, I'm just saying, Please, there's a 305 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: golden cop car. Oh no, the accents coming out? Shit? Ah, Hi, 306 00:19:52,720 --> 00:20:04,680 Speaker 1: cousin't you in there? Hy Broy? That's see The password 307 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 1: is Tommy. Oh god, I lost my ship. Scene two 308 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:19,639 Speaker 1: comes to us from Ken Tar, who wrote, high just 309 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:27,040 Speaker 1: ran a hundred six The small km is kilometers, kilometers, 310 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,919 Speaker 1: cannot be kilometers? Camp six kilometers? Well, I just ran 311 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: a hundred six kilometers in twenty one day, no hours, 312 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: so it can't be hundred six kilometers is out of thing? 313 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: That's doable? I mean if he's the two thousand for 314 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: charity and your show saved my sanity. Thanks, as I 315 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: am lying down for recovery, I thought I could provide 316 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,359 Speaker 1: you all with a scene suggestion for my next Ultra 317 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 1: running adventure. Taxi drive versus uber drivers. I'm curious to 318 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 1: know justin general, both in their cars and out, and 319 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 1: about which one is better. Let them fight. Keep up 320 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: your great work. From Ken Taro born in the US, 321 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:29,440 Speaker 1: living in Norway, but ethnically Japanese. Okay, thank you, Um, Margot, y'all, Mark, Margo? Yeah? 322 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: Are you? Are you Margot? Or I'm picking up up? 323 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,159 Speaker 1: Does it look like the picture a little bit? Just 324 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:42,479 Speaker 1: a picture banana? Yeah, that's okay. Uh, you don't think 325 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: I look a little like a banana, now that you said, yeah, 326 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: I do seea Are you gonna ask me? Just come inside, Margo, 327 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,119 Speaker 1: I'm here to pick up. Can I sit in the 328 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,479 Speaker 1: front or can I sit? Do you? If you sit 329 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:05,000 Speaker 1: in the front, you see wherever you want? Anybody need 330 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,920 Speaker 1: it right, I'll take care wherever you're going. They go. 331 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 1: Get the hell out of here. Man, Okay, we got this. Okay, 332 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,520 Speaker 1: hold on a second, Hold on a second. How much 333 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,880 Speaker 1: would it be to get to the supermarket from here? Uh? 334 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: Which supermarket we're talking about? The big one, the regular, 335 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: the big one with the I guess it's the town 336 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,560 Speaker 1: and wash. I don't know what it's called. It's just 337 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,399 Speaker 1: the one that we go to old targets, all right, 338 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: the town in wash Okay, you guess where it is? 339 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 1: All right, I got a Thomas guyd here. I'm looking 340 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 1: it up. Do you mind hold for a second, body, 341 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: I want to see. Okay, you don't know what the 342 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,200 Speaker 1: name of the one you go to all the time. 343 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's not about branding, it's just about 344 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: that's the place. On one side it's got pharmacy stuff 345 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 1: and on the other. Okay, thanks all for coming today. 346 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: We're um, well, we've got a task ahead of us. 347 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,360 Speaker 1: It's been many, many years since anyone used the Thomas guy. 348 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 1: Who want to reinvent the company today? I'm taking all suggestions. 349 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: There are no bad ideas. We need to reinvent the good, old, 350 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:12,200 Speaker 1: great Thomas God that everyone certainly in the United States 351 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: used at one point. So yeah, just raise your hand. 352 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: I got I think I got something here. So for 353 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: this guy, what we can do is we can go 354 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: around and all around the US find all the Tommies. 355 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,440 Speaker 1: We can get to know the birthday, get to know 356 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: kind of a general heights and wait, wait, wait, I 357 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: have a question, Tommy, Tommy. So we can go and 358 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: get all the Tommies. We can you you're talking about 359 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: people named Tommy? Yes, is the Thomas didn't see what 360 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 1: you said? Jim? Is it? Jim? Jin Jin jin j 361 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: I n b b b b b right? Jin? Can 362 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 1: you have your office packed up and out and you 363 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,200 Speaker 1: out of it? Oh yeah, let me pack up my 364 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 1: entire office. Yeah great, let me get the entire walls down, 365 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,120 Speaker 1: packed up into a box. That's insane, Danny. If you're 366 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: gonna fire me, do it like a man. Okay, throat 367 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: all right? Oh great? Oh great? You're seeing this. You 368 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: want to spit in my face or you want to 369 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 1: spit in my face and you know what I want 370 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: to do with my mouth? Oh yeah, I swallow that 371 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: A tastes sucking good. You see this? This is where 372 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: we fucking work. Okay, this is where we fucking work. 373 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: You're live in a fucking fascist office. Okay. If you 374 00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 1: want freedom, you're gonna follow me if you want freedom. 375 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if this is out 376 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: of line, but I'm gonna propose the same thing, and 377 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 1: I've proposed at every meeting for the past fifteen years. 378 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: Can we put it online? But Thomas got online? Yeah? 379 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: What if we make it like an app Thomas guid app. Yeah, 380 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,679 Speaker 1: where you searched the address and then it comes up 381 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: on an interactive map and then it gives you directions 382 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: in your car. So before I get out of here, 383 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 1: I just want everyone in this goddamn office to know 384 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: something right now? Okay? All those croissants that then he's 385 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 1: been getting that he said his wife's been baking. I 386 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: see him. He goes over to the what's the name 387 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 1: of that eleven? No? No, no, what's name of that? 388 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:21,200 Speaker 1: Really big? It's not really about branding tied and wash 389 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 1: town and wash Why would you call the grocer different 390 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: town and wash? I can't can't that can't be that 391 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,199 Speaker 1: can't I didn't name it. Well, let's let's look it up. 392 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: What page on the Thomas Guide is it on? Yeah? Okay, 393 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 1: what kind of guy is it? We thinking? He's like five? 394 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,360 Speaker 1: If I could just get back to your amazing suggestion, 395 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: you're saying that we could put Thomas Guides, little tiny, 396 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: tiny Thomas Guides on people's phones. Again, I've suggested this 397 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,119 Speaker 1: at every meeting for the past fifteen years, and yet 398 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 1: I never understill publishing a giant book full of maps 399 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:59,160 Speaker 1: that cost forty bucks. Right that Sean, relaxed, And that's 400 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,200 Speaker 1: people just put in the backseat of their car and 401 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:05,159 Speaker 1: it's dangerous to look through it while driving down. We 402 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: always recommended people pull over, but go ahead. Can we 403 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: just make it an app people's phones teams? Sean, But 404 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 1: you're like freaking everyone out. This is why we're not 405 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,680 Speaker 1: making anybody. What does that mean? For fifteen years, I've 406 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: been asking and I haven't got a satisfactory answer. What 407 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: does that mean? Just put it online? Okay? Alright's gonna 408 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: take it off entirely. All right, Wow, last night was 409 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. Thank you for being such a gentleman. 410 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: There was really no problem. Oh sorry, except for your 411 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: roommate being here. It was honestly like a really nice night. Now. 412 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,159 Speaker 1: I know you said you were going to call me 413 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,960 Speaker 1: an uber, but I was wondering if maybe I could 414 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 1: get cab fair instead. Who is cash these days? Babe, 415 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 1: I'll let me call you an uber's taxis It's just 416 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: are you like fucking all these taxicab drivers? Is that 417 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,960 Speaker 1: your Jake? Relax? Put your shirt back on. I don't 418 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: want to fight you. It's hi. I'm still glad your hair. Actually, 419 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:24,840 Speaker 1: what was eating again. Cool, Um, your boy here is 420 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:28,720 Speaker 1: kind of acting erratic. No, I'm not. It's not my fault. 421 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:32,959 Speaker 1: You just a bunch of cabbins. Are you crying? Why 422 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:39,359 Speaker 1: are you crying? My dad was a cabby and I 423 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: never saw him for I was four years old. You 424 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,840 Speaker 1: just took off in that goddamn yellow sedan and I 425 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: never saw him again. Well, the way I see it is, 426 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: it's like a nice way to see the city. You know. 427 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to get into someone's pre is or 428 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 1: there yoursell or whatever. I want to be. What the 429 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,119 Speaker 1: hell are you? What the caps now? I don't know. 430 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,640 Speaker 1: I just want to be any Victoria, Yeah, crab Victoria. 431 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like a lot of them 432 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 1: are now. I know. I know times have changed. I 433 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 1: guess so what you don't want to know the fair 434 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: before you get in. You want it to just be 435 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,040 Speaker 1: like on them to try to get there efficiently with 436 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: an efficient route. You don't know which route they're gonna take. 437 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,199 Speaker 1: It's sucking bullshit, but they do know. They have an 438 00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:28,120 Speaker 1: innate quality about I'm taking my shirt off again. Okay, jeez, Jake, 439 00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,360 Speaker 1: did you know that if you want to get your 440 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: taxi license. You have to do this kind of like 441 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: i Q test of the streets. All right, guys, I 442 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: think everyone coming in here there show uh, let's go 443 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: through here now when we're a taxi drivers all around 444 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 1: the country. But let's just try to get a uniform 445 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: way of talking. First off, kind of get like a 446 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,240 Speaker 1: language going on to we're all understanding. Show the way 447 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: sounded like you do? Uh? You know that's why? Yes 448 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:01,840 Speaker 1: and no? What youre doing? So? I'm deep New York. 449 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: So this is a this is a heavy heavy Brooklyn 450 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:11,560 Speaker 1: accent here. Question, have question, yeah, go for it, damn me. Okay, 451 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 1: all right, get the hell out of here. Okay, so 452 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:20,040 Speaker 1: let's all practice is deep Brooklyn accent right now, practice 453 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: right now. I'm from Brooklyn. I'm from Brooklyn. Let's let's 454 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 1: not use each other as examples here, okay, because that's 455 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: just not using as examples here, all right, So just 456 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 1: use me as the basic So just use me as 457 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 1: the base example. Just use me as a example. Actually 458 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 1: have to be here today or can I just come 459 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: back after this is figuring out because I've already got accent, 460 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: bad accent. What do you're doing Chicago? No, this is Brooklyn. 461 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,720 Speaker 1: This is deep, deep Brooklyn. He has a Brooklyn accent. 462 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: It sounds more like Okay, I question, I can't follow him, Yeah, 463 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: go for it. Okay, you gotta get out of here, 464 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,040 Speaker 1: all right. I can't be more clear about that. I 465 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 1: can't physically put hands on that joke. But if I 466 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: am too replicate your accent? Um? Should I have dick 467 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 1: in my mouth? Okay? All right, here we go. Uh, 468 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,520 Speaker 1: let's let's do this. Let's take a five minute break. Well, 469 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 1: I asked the premises, answer the question question, well, legitimate 470 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 1: question here. Okay, No, you don't need a dick in 471 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 1: your mouth? Okay, no you don't, do you? Yeah? I 472 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 1: do have one, all right, but that's uh, that's a 473 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: cap for my teeth. Okay, so that's actually helped my 474 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: teeth grow. I very very small bones in my mouth, 475 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,080 Speaker 1: and that you can stem cells that make my teeth grow. 476 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: Can I just say what we were we're wasting time 477 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,360 Speaker 1: and meeting here, that there are affairs out there that 478 00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 1: week will be picking up. Yeah, but you don't even 479 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: know how to talk to him nor I mean good luck. 480 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: Let's do a little role play here. Okay, I'm a 481 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: seventeenth century mystic, all right. I love astrology. I'm someone 482 00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 1: who believes you not wait, is this a role playing game? Okay? 483 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: And I just so happened to be in the high 484 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: court of let's say, a small check empire, right, the 485 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: feudal system still around. So I get into your cap. 486 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: How did you have a how did you hale us? 487 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: How did you how did you get us to pull 488 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: over first? Like good accent? Thank you. I had a 489 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: torch in my hand and that was clear enough that 490 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: I needed. All right, torch in your hand and dick 491 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: in your mouth. I'm not doing this scenario that is 492 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:34,560 Speaker 1: so convoluted, like I prefer just a very simple like 493 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: a couple of words and then go TEXI, TEXI, TEXI. Okay, Okay, Hi, Hi, 494 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 1: how are you going? You near a right? Wow? Yes, 495 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,200 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is so great, so great. Yes, yes, 496 00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: I love New York. I love New York too. I'm 497 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: a New York native from deep deep Brooklyn. Oh my gosh, 498 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: this is so exciting. I mean, I live in New York, 499 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 1: but not from New York. You can probably tell, oh 500 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: my gosh, the first time in the big city. Well, 501 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: I live here, I'm just not like from here. From here, 502 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: I can take you to the town of Wash or 503 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: where are you going? Yes, yes, the town in Wash. Okay. 504 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: I got this new Thomas Brothers application on my phone, 505 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: so just getting wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. 506 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 1: I was kind of expecting it more like an old 507 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,160 Speaker 1: timey ride where you would you would use your senses 508 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: to get there. Okay, So just based on my knowledge 509 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: of the streets, take you there. What kind of Tommy 510 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 1: are you looking for? Okay? I don't know that this 511 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: app is useful anyway. Are you looking? Are you looking 512 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 1: for somebody named Tommy? You you said Tommy. I didn't 513 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 1: say Tommy, Okay, I did. Whenever I say Tommy, it 514 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 1: activates the app. It's a little like Alexis. So what 515 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,719 Speaker 1: kind of Tommy are you looking for? Okay, Tommy, I'm 516 00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 1: not looking for a Tommy. The unfortunate thing is the 517 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 1: app is named Tommy. So yeah, okayes found in your area? 518 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:10,960 Speaker 1: How many times Tommies? You gotta narrow it down, pal, 519 00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: what kind of Tommy are you looking for? You gotta 520 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 1: tell him, you gotta tell him. Um nice, We're looking 521 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 1: for a nice Tommy. So I wonder if it's gonna 522 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: be a lot or no. No, it's it's uh okay, 523 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:41,959 Speaker 1: god damn it, goddamn right, you must I'm just going 524 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,160 Speaker 1: to take this off entirely. Okay, alright, alright, guy, where 525 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 1: are you going? Come on? Guy? Yes, yes, what you're fair? Right, 526 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: you're fair? What happened here? Were time? Sorry? Sorry? Pal? 527 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: Just what kind of Tommy are you looking for? You 528 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: gotta tell him. You gotta tell him what kind of 529 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:08,480 Speaker 1: time you're looking for, or I can't drive. I said, nice, Okay, 530 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,359 Speaker 1: look at Tommy looking for a nice Tommy. Sir. Your 531 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 1: whole face is starting to drip off. Okay, Sorry, I 532 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:22,320 Speaker 1: am wearing heavy prosthetics because no, because we're trying to 533 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:26,560 Speaker 1: get a uniform, unified accident among all the cat drivers. Okay, 534 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,399 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can understand. We all need to sound 535 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: deep Brooklyn. But this feels more like the real New 536 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 1: York than any accident, does it. Talk is a melting 537 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 1: pot of people. That's beautiful. Okay, I'm going to drive 538 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:44,279 Speaker 1: down Ninth Avenue. That's a terrible that's a terrible one. No, No, 539 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,840 Speaker 1: the lights are time. The lights are time. It feels 540 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,840 Speaker 1: like there's a lot of traffic at this time of day. No, 541 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go down ninth. We'll go straight to the 542 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: town and washed there will be a nice ways. What 543 00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 1: is ways? Oh? God, Jake was right? Who is Jack 544 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:07,800 Speaker 1: a guy I'm seeing? Ah? Yeah, yeah? Okay? What do 545 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 1: I owe you for just this amount of time? This was? Okay? 546 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: Here's thirty? Keep changing. I do not take cards. Wait, 547 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,440 Speaker 1: who has cash these days? I do? I have so 548 00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: much cash? Really you need some? I mean okay, what 549 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,200 Speaker 1: do when do it take to just set you up 550 00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:32,359 Speaker 1: for the day? I guess like sixty. Okay, So we're 551 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:37,360 Speaker 1: just going around here registering, registering. Tommy's just registering Tommy's 552 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: um so, uh, let's sit here. So you're Tommy? Is 553 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,440 Speaker 1: that right? Yeah? Typically I just go by tom but 554 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:52,000 Speaker 1: I figured I had to register. Yeah, okay, great? And height? 555 00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 1: Wait with five? Hold on, there's all the same number 556 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:03,279 Speaker 1: of these different numbers. Uh well one was my hight? 557 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,600 Speaker 1: Five seven? I'm so sorry. Five eleven is my life? 558 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 1: Your sixty two inches tall? Is that cams? No? No, no, no, no, 559 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,480 Speaker 1: this is small. It's a mixture of feet and inches 560 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,919 Speaker 1: that I've been doing. Well, let's just stick to feet. 561 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,160 Speaker 1: So so how how how many? Well? I guess if 562 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,960 Speaker 1: you're only going to take fat five ft but that's it. 563 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:38,520 Speaker 1: It's but we're not counting inches at this point. If 564 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:42,640 Speaker 1: you're daddy, you said sixty two inches, and uh that's 565 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: five two Oh cheese. You're right, so I don't know. 566 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 1: It's I guess seventy two inches to six ft right, 567 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 1: seventy inches. I'm seventy inches tall. Let's just no, let's 568 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: do feet. I don't want inches there just cutting off 569 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: a want me to lie? Okay, daddy, let me help 570 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:10,280 Speaker 1: you here, Hey fella, thank you, fellow with all the questions. 571 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 1: What's your fucking deal? I work for a Tommy Guide? Okay, 572 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,200 Speaker 1: so I'm here to collect all the information on Tommy's 573 00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,920 Speaker 1: My dad's a Tommy. What do you n JR? I 574 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:25,319 Speaker 1: don't know if we really want I am Tommy June. Okay, 575 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 1: you're Tommy two. Okay. We didn't want to be fine 576 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:32,879 Speaker 1: for that, okay. And how tall are you? I'm four 577 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 1: ft ten inches. Let's just do feet. My son's not 578 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,960 Speaker 1: even eighteen years old yet you can't register him for 579 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: the Tommy's Guide. Four okay, okay, thank you? How tall 580 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,360 Speaker 1: are you? How tall am I into your business? My 581 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:52,120 Speaker 1: name is John? All right? All right, John, I've I 582 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: got ads on you. Tommy. Are you nice? Are you bad? 583 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: Are you a bad boy? Or you're nice boyd the truth? Daddy, 584 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 1: he's a good boy. No, no, you okay, here we 585 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 1: are according to the app, there's several tommies here. Um, 586 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,400 Speaker 1: just let you out right here. There should be at 587 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:12,359 Speaker 1: least at least one of these tommies should be nice. 588 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:17,440 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you for everything. This has been a 589 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: wonderful Thank you, and thanks for us for going old 590 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 1: school with a taxi ride. You got it, you got it? Hi? Hi, 591 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:34,839 Speaker 1: when did you a Tommy? And that is into Oh man? 592 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,439 Speaker 1: I thought I was crying hard, and then I looked 593 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:42,080 Speaker 1: up and Jessica had to get up and walking two 594 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,239 Speaker 1: feet away and come back with a towel. It looked 595 00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:49,759 Speaker 1: like I'm so sorry. No, no, I've never been so happy. 596 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:57,719 Speaker 1: I've never been so happy. Do not apologize. See three 597 00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: comes to us from patron VP Nicholas, who wrote, Hello, Kevin, 598 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,759 Speaker 1: it was fun to call into your live hang out 599 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,399 Speaker 1: show the other day night time for me. If you'd 600 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: patch me into the zoom next time, I promised to 601 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,920 Speaker 1: have a virtual background with a real serial killer vibe. 602 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 1: Imagine everybody trying to keep up the light banter while 603 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:26,279 Speaker 1: they try to assess whether I am indeed a psychopath. 604 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,799 Speaker 1: By the way, your online show's quality is amazing. Now 605 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: there was a lag in response time for the first 606 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:38,040 Speaker 1: ones that is gone now. I think Doug Bam putting 607 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,360 Speaker 1: us on the zen zenecasts might have helped that, And 608 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:45,479 Speaker 1: now Chris has helped even more today with a little 609 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,480 Speaker 1: zoom update that I think, Uh, any who, I will 610 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 1: put myself to sleep. There was a back to the email. 611 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,480 Speaker 1: I'm really impressed. Here are two suggestions, but don't do 612 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,640 Speaker 1: the first one because it's really dumb and uh it is, 613 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,360 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna jump to the second one now. Or 614 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,399 Speaker 1: be a Nazi spy who doesn't know that the war 615 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: is over, goes undercover at a bed bath and beyond. Anyway, 616 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: please take care and keep the up the good spirits. 617 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:20,399 Speaker 1: Nicholas from Munich. We love ourselves some Nicholas and James. 618 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,960 Speaker 1: You just dropped to the v I P members. The 619 00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:26,279 Speaker 1: video of the cast hang the monthly cast to be 620 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: slightly longer because I had to edit out phone numbers 621 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:35,279 Speaker 1: that were on the screen several times throughout the video. Man, 622 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:42,799 Speaker 1: I thought, okay, yeah, helpen to bed, Bath and Beyond. 623 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:46,320 Speaker 1: Help you. Hi, yeah, I'm looking for just looking for 624 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,960 Speaker 1: a fair. Are you okay? So someone I can call? Um? 625 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:56,000 Speaker 1: Are you having a medical emergency? No, no, no, I'm 626 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,919 Speaker 1: just did you lose your shoes? No? No, I'm looking 627 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:06,680 Speaker 1: for a fan. Um, what kind of fan? I'm looking 628 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 1: for a fan. Um that you know you're plug in 629 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:23,080 Speaker 1: and yeah you know it's a yeah yeah yeah yeah, 630 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:27,839 Speaker 1: So if you have any fans, Back into the right, 631 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 1: back into the right. Okay, thank you for shoving me, Bad, 632 00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:37,560 Speaker 1: Bath and Beyond. Hello, Hello, hello, yeah, Hi, sorry put 633 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: you on hold? Um? Uh what did you want me 634 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 1: to look for again? Microplane greater? Michael Plane Greater? Is 635 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 1: our brand name? Good Grips Oxo Good grips Oxo with 636 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:54,480 Speaker 1: those two different brands, No, for some reason, they're always 637 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,640 Speaker 1: sat together. Okay. You know the story goes an old 638 00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: man's wife had arthritis. Right he started, he started to 639 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,319 Speaker 1: make cooking utensils for her in the home that would 640 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,839 Speaker 1: help her hands not hurt so much, and that's how 641 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,480 Speaker 1: he invented Oxo good Grips. You know I've never heard 642 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:18,120 Speaker 1: that story. Thank you for it's true. I look forward 643 00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,400 Speaker 1: to first how do you feel? How do you feel 644 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,800 Speaker 1: about the way things are going in your store? I 645 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:31,200 Speaker 1: you mean the social distancing practices were now using, I 646 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,720 Speaker 1: mean practices in general. Would you say you're happy? Happy? 647 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 1: Such a relative word, the happy happy comes in waves. Sorry, 648 00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:45,319 Speaker 1: I went over to the fans and uh, sorry, sir, 649 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,840 Speaker 1: if I could put you on hold just one more second, 650 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:52,560 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Yeah, back into the left. Oh jeez, 651 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,799 Speaker 1: you lost your pants as well. It's back into the right, sir. 652 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,440 Speaker 1: Could and on the way, if you could find some 653 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:02,359 Speaker 1: pants and shoes that be grip? Yeah, sorry, I had 654 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,839 Speaker 1: to put you on hold again. I gotta I got 655 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:05,640 Speaker 1: a crazy one here in the store, man oh man, 656 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,560 Speaker 1: So definitely not happy right now? Okay, yeah, A lot 657 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,839 Speaker 1: of crazies, right, a lot of more more than the norm, 658 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:16,640 Speaker 1: more than necessary. I found the unit you're looking for. 659 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: It looks like we have six here in the store 660 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,160 Speaker 1: if you want to put you be interested in coming 661 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 1: to a meeting sometime? What kind of meeting? I've like 662 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,920 Speaker 1: minded individuals. I like where this is going. All right, 663 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,080 Speaker 1: listen up, brothers. Okay, there's one thing we do well, 664 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:34,680 Speaker 1: and that's hate. All right, it's hate. But I'm sick 665 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 1: and tired of us being known as people who don't smell. 666 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:46,080 Speaker 1: Good Am I the smell. I never heard anybody complain 667 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 1: about smell. Oh, Trace, Okay, you're one of the biggest perpetrators. 668 00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 1: All right, buddy, you smell like ship whoever smells a tilt? 669 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,919 Speaker 1: All right, I'm sorry you had to find out this way. Trace. 670 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,920 Speaker 1: You you you got bad bo p you got bad 671 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 1: be man. We know you're pissing your hands, all right. 672 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,120 Speaker 1: You know what. I piss in my hands only on 673 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,840 Speaker 1: road trips. I hate both of you. You're a goddamn 674 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 1: truck driver. Man. You're on road all the time. Man, Yeah, 675 00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: so I piss in my hands quite often. Have to 676 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 1: remind you do. I have to remind you both that 677 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:22,799 Speaker 1: we don't hate each other. In this room, I made 678 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,480 Speaker 1: made vegan donuts. Take one. There's more sugar in here 679 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 1: than anything else. But it's vegan. They say that. They say, 680 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,400 Speaker 1: we're just like, oh, hey, don't have any lactose, but 681 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:34,359 Speaker 1: there's more sugar, so'll be mindful of the wild Most 682 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,040 Speaker 1: of us here got diabetes, all right, so let's just 683 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:40,680 Speaker 1: be mindful of that all right now. Okay, the world 684 00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 1: is loving more people are accepting other people's beliefs and 685 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,879 Speaker 1: religions and all that ship. It's pissing me off here. Okay, 686 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:52,000 Speaker 1: suggestion please, who's that old guy in the back right? 687 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:59,400 Speaker 1: If we sing one of us into stars undercom what 688 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,720 Speaker 1: if we make one of us straws and then go undercover? 689 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:06,080 Speaker 1: Don't say I could be a straw? Yeah? All right, 690 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:15,040 Speaker 1: let's yep one of us cool sta Okay, so yeah, 691 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,600 Speaker 1: straws again, that's what I'm getting, all right, So this 692 00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:19,879 Speaker 1: is what we'll do. Everybody go into my machine ship 693 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:30,280 Speaker 1: for here? Got you, uh dismembership if you wanna get dismembered. 694 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,479 Speaker 1: I guess there's a again. That chipper in the back. 695 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,799 Speaker 1: I think we should send him to one of those 696 00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:46,480 Speaker 1: uh those classes. Accente accent? Oh I hate that. I 697 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,359 Speaker 1: hate that. I hate that so much. All right, well, 698 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,080 Speaker 1: then why don't we Why don't whoever smelt it Delta 699 00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,040 Speaker 1: use your idea? Why don't you go undercover? That is 700 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,440 Speaker 1: our motto, whoever smelt it Delta? Oh? Come on, come on, 701 00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:05,200 Speaker 1: for real, it is I hate crowds. Are you serious? 702 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:09,719 Speaker 1: Are you really like to voluntia? That's what we meant, 703 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:13,719 Speaker 1: all right? After the demons tears. Are you really not 704 00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,759 Speaker 1: gonna eat my doughnut? It's vegan. Look, man, I'll eat 705 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,359 Speaker 1: it later. Okay, I just don't want to run. It's 706 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:19,840 Speaker 1: just a lot of I'm gonna get a sugar rush. 707 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:26,640 Speaker 1: It makes me feel bad. Donut delicious, thank you. The 708 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:28,759 Speaker 1: little guy's gotta be a hundred and twenty years old, 709 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,719 Speaker 1: by the way. Then out said donut and put it 710 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:38,480 Speaker 1: next to anyone's and I dare you to figure it 711 00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:44,359 Speaker 1: off the beach run Okay, I heard that completely shut 712 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,680 Speaker 1: out of doughnut and he put it next to the 713 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,879 Speaker 1: other donutss thing he said all day? Yeah, well there, 714 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,080 Speaker 1: I mean that's just proofing the pudding right there. I 715 00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:56,200 Speaker 1: mean that's putting rob I mean, look, man, that's probably 716 00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:58,319 Speaker 1: more reason why you shouldn't have a can donuts brought here. Man. 717 00:46:58,320 --> 00:46:59,759 Speaker 1: All right, look, people can shut it out and no 718 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:01,880 Speaker 1: one can tell a difference. All right, no disrespect for 719 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,640 Speaker 1: your cooking. I'm just saying that this old man could 720 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 1: come into your poop it out and we don't know. 721 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. I hate want to eat ship. 722 00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,719 Speaker 1: I hate it, well, tray something he knows, goddamn, don't 723 00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:15,120 Speaker 1: you don't know which one is ship. I don't know 724 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:20,160 Speaker 1: which one is ship. I don't want that hurts my feelings. 725 00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:26,480 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. All Right, you go undercover. I think he 726 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,120 Speaker 1: really wants to go undercover running this goddamn outfit. All Right, 727 00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:35,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna decide who's going undercover or not. Alright, goddamn 728 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:38,440 Speaker 1: I hate this. Alright, alright, just so goddamn much. Al 729 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:41,279 Speaker 1: Right now listen, alright, god damn it. Let me just 730 00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,319 Speaker 1: say this right now. I hate myself most of all. 731 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:48,600 Speaker 1: I'll do it, fuck it, I'll open up. Yea question. Yes, 732 00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 1: I'm running TIA, and I accept I'm going undercover now. Alright. 733 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,799 Speaker 1: So he brought a sheet. He's just putting that sheet 734 00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:05,640 Speaker 1: over his head. Hello, it's very nice to see you, gentlemen. 735 00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:13,160 Speaker 1: You are very handsome and very attractive to me personally. Perstect. 736 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:21,759 Speaker 1: That's really good with it? That was I hate that. 737 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:26,280 Speaker 1: That was so good. I hate that too. It's like, okay, 738 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,560 Speaker 1: so this is your first day working at that Bath 739 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,400 Speaker 1: and Beyond. That's correct, thank you. I'm very excited to 740 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,279 Speaker 1: be here. Okay, so let me just take you on 741 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:39,399 Speaker 1: a tour of the store. My name is Alyssa. Hello, 742 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:43,200 Speaker 1: Alyssa May I call you a Lissa. Sure m. Yeah. 743 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,120 Speaker 1: So the main thing about bbnb is you need to 744 00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:49,480 Speaker 1: always be helpful and you always need to know where 745 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,719 Speaker 1: things are. But we have a lot of stuff, so 746 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:54,719 Speaker 1: it's just important to take these cute cards here you go, 747 00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,880 Speaker 1: and then you can study them every night. That's what 748 00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:00,840 Speaker 1: I like to do for I got to bad U 749 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:06,040 Speaker 1: and basically, okay, the best thing about this is we 750 00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:12,640 Speaker 1: get off coupons. You know how everyone else gets off coupons. 751 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:18,320 Speaker 1: We get off coupons. Can I can I make a request? 752 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:25,560 Speaker 1: Please guess these que cards called them yeah cards? Is 753 00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,799 Speaker 1: there anyone to have them printed out in German? I'm 754 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,280 Speaker 1: trying to learn that language and I'm trying to only 755 00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:39,080 Speaker 1: read in German. That's insane. But like probably I'm all 756 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,360 Speaker 1: in or I'm all out. I'm one of those people. 757 00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,040 Speaker 1: So if I could just have these cards printed out 758 00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,120 Speaker 1: in Hi, I'm looking for a massage back massager. Let 759 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:51,640 Speaker 1: me try this one. Okay, what kind of back massager? 760 00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:55,239 Speaker 1: Did you have? A Brandon mind? Sir? You seem like 761 00:49:55,280 --> 00:50:00,920 Speaker 1: a Nazi spy who's undercover. I'm walking to way. That 762 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,879 Speaker 1: was so weird. All right, look man, uh you got 763 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,719 Speaker 1: found out pretty quick, okay. And I thought it was 764 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:14,000 Speaker 1: gonna be a good idea, but good, but it was good. 765 00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,680 Speaker 1: It was so and who Honestly, I hate that we 766 00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,160 Speaker 1: didn't see that coming, huh. I hate that we didn't 767 00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,560 Speaker 1: think that this old German dude was a goddamnnzi you 768 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:25,920 Speaker 1: know what I mean? It was the uniform, Yeah, it 769 00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:31,960 Speaker 1: was man, all right, giveaway? Yeah? Can you pass these 770 00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,640 Speaker 1: lemon bars around please? Yeah? Sure? He smelled good, that's 771 00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:39,800 Speaker 1: real lemon? Is it butter? What kind of butter? Used? Margarine? 772 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,120 Speaker 1: God damn it, God damn it? Are you serious? Are 773 00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:46,359 Speaker 1: you serious? Right now? I hate get out of my face. 774 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:48,759 Speaker 1: Look man, we bought all these land of lakes. Once 775 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:50,759 Speaker 1: they took that Native American woman off the god damn 776 00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,279 Speaker 1: box okay, and now you don't even want to use it. 777 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,759 Speaker 1: We got all this sexcess butter. It goes bad. God 778 00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:04,319 Speaker 1: damn it, God damn am I I'm so sorry. Uh 779 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:08,960 Speaker 1: you don't know me. My name is Alyssa hollowed herich 780 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:16,440 Speaker 1: here um heinrich. I miss you and like alas I, 781 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000 Speaker 1: I fell in love with you during our forty five 782 00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:24,640 Speaker 1: minute training session, and like you smell really weird. This 783 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,080 Speaker 1: is good for us. This is good for us. But everyone, 784 00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:32,160 Speaker 1: this is a lease a lease everyone. Um, Hi, I 785 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:38,120 Speaker 1: I hate a lot of stuff. Hi, Oh, name something 786 00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:45,600 Speaker 1: you hate? What do you hate? I hate town and wash? Right? 787 00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:50,920 Speaker 1: Don't they like? What kind of name is that? Um? 788 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,040 Speaker 1: Trying to get some groceries and they want to wash 789 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:57,719 Speaker 1: my car? I hate my boyfriend Tommy? H I got 790 00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:03,359 Speaker 1: a question, Tommy? Yeah? Um? I hate taxi drivers. Um, 791 00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:08,080 Speaker 1: I don't know. Like I hate the South. Your general 792 00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,319 Speaker 1: hated things is exactly what we're looking for. We can 793 00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:13,719 Speaker 1: do specific for too long, and we feel like that's 794 00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:17,680 Speaker 1: really hurting our brand. That the founder of O XO 795 00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:22,279 Speaker 1: like designed ship for his wife with arthritis so she 796 00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,040 Speaker 1: could still cook? Like, why did he learn how to 797 00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:29,640 Speaker 1: cook for her? Oh? That's really good hate. That's the good, 798 00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:36,960 Speaker 1: delicious hate. I hated your not not you, I who 799 00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:41,960 Speaker 1: eat shit in our group? Traces on your mustache? Bell? 800 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,040 Speaker 1: You want to just peel that sucker right off? Yeah? 801 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,520 Speaker 1: Can I can I call you Lisa? All right? Yeah? Sure? 802 00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,000 Speaker 1: Well you just happen to jump in a great time. 803 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:54,480 Speaker 1: We're actually gonna do a riginalistic suicide. So uh, if 804 00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,160 Speaker 1: you want to take one of these lemon drop bars 805 00:52:56,280 --> 00:53:00,000 Speaker 1: right here. I'd love him. Yeah, Robbie, I'm sorry about 806 00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 1: but I did poison the match. I didn't you know 807 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,359 Speaker 1: what I mean I was. I wasn't gonna say nothing, 808 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,880 Speaker 1: but before we eat the bars for it? Man, And 809 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,720 Speaker 1: what kind of lady did they take off the books 810 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,919 Speaker 1: of the bad that she was a Native American woman, 811 00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:20,919 Speaker 1: native American and they took her off. I don't watch. 812 00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:25,719 Speaker 1: I don't sink that's how they run the big quarter 813 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:37,080 Speaker 1: the alright, first nations keep original people. Uh yeah, we Americans, 814 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:42,320 Speaker 1: not America. I mean that. Holy sh it, I hate myself. 815 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:46,080 Speaker 1: Hell yeah, well right, all the more reason to eat 816 00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,680 Speaker 1: these lemon bars here die right now? Man, damn? All right, 817 00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:57,320 Speaker 1: well that was really an unexpected consciousness. I feel like 818 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,239 Speaker 1: my heart has just gained a little bit of love. 819 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:08,399 Speaker 1: And now before we before, I'm feeling better. I'm feeling better. Shout. 820 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:13,320 Speaker 1: That was two weeks from retirement from white supremacy. Secretly 821 00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:20,440 Speaker 1: loved jewels. Yeah, I'm looking for a fan, yeah, but 822 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:23,759 Speaker 1: kind of fun. So something there and I can put 823 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:31,120 Speaker 1: him in my house or a fan something like hand 824 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:34,280 Speaker 1: fan do me a favorite science has had real quick okay? 825 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:43,800 Speaker 1: Uh nope, okay, never mind, try these pens. Okay, mm hmm, nope, 826 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:48,279 Speaker 1: did I just the swastika? Oh that's what that is? Now, 827 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:55,600 Speaker 1: I'm I'm all right, and that's our show today. Oh 828 00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:59,239 Speaker 1: the no, Johnas was correct to this prediction of Wow, 829 00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:02,759 Speaker 1: today's show would end. Thank you notes Damos for all 830 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:06,399 Speaker 1: your hard work and lack of appreciation. Let's go around 831 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:10,040 Speaker 1: the ben and thank Oliver Alchimus. Uh. Starting with Jessica Low. 832 00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:16,640 Speaker 1: Thank you so damn much. Jess how's puppy sleeping? It's great. 833 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,759 Speaker 1: Remember to follow un is a good boy on the Instagram. Yeah, 834 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:26,000 Speaker 1: and thank you for joining us today. Thanks for having me. Sorry, 835 00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:28,320 Speaker 1: I was laugh crying through most of it. We'll always 836 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 1: have Tommy. I was in pain beyond belief and and 837 00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:39,800 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing it. James Heeney, thank you so much, buddy. 838 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,120 Speaker 1: Thank you. I'd love to see your face and so 839 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:51,520 Speaker 1: glad we recorded it. Yeah, me too, all right. Uh. 840 00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,480 Speaker 1: Craig Atkowski, thank you too, buddy. Hey, I understand the 841 00:55:55,640 --> 00:56:00,600 Speaker 1: final episode dropped. Craigslist the Craigslist podcas Us. We after 842 00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,120 Speaker 1: four years a podcast we thought with the last two years, 843 00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,440 Speaker 1: we finally put out the final one. It's covers my 844 00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:10,760 Speaker 1: favorite movie sho Shechddler's List by Steven Spielberg. But also 845 00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:14,200 Speaker 1: it's just me and Carla catching up and summing up 846 00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:17,360 Speaker 1: the podcast. And uh yeah, it's a great place to start, 847 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,120 Speaker 1: not at all, start with the last one. Start with 848 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,120 Speaker 1: the last one, yep, and then go back to the 849 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,839 Speaker 1: first one. It's really the best way to do the show. Uh. 850 00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:32,279 Speaker 1: Joey Gerston, thanks pal as always, thank you for having me, 851 00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:36,520 Speaker 1: and uh anything you want to mention, Uh, you know, 852 00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,600 Speaker 1: doing shows at west Side Comedy Theaters. Twitch channel, that's 853 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,799 Speaker 1: twitch dot tv backslash west Side Comedy Theater. They're doing 854 00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:45,359 Speaker 1: shows every night. Bear Supplies doing it every Wednesday at 855 00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:49,640 Speaker 1: seven check it out. Support do you know, distract yourself 856 00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:53,319 Speaker 1: from the insanity that is staying in sidled all the time. 857 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:57,080 Speaker 1: So thank you for that. Chris Alvarado, sir, thank you 858 00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,400 Speaker 1: for having me. I love you guys. I love this podcast. 859 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:02,719 Speaker 1: You can follow me at Jess Marlow on Instagram. That's 860 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:05,600 Speaker 1: j E. S. S M A R l O at 861 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:08,160 Speaker 1: Jess Marlow. Thank you very much. Have a nice day, 862 00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:14,480 Speaker 1: Bay please call me back. Um Let's thank producer and 863 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:20,240 Speaker 1: engineer to the Stars, Mr Doug Buyene. I heart Mediam. 864 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:25,760 Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Pollock. Thank you also very much for joining 865 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,000 Speaker 1: us once again. Please stay extremely healthy out there, and 866 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:37,400 Speaker 1: remember next time, this time time telling me this Tommy