Speaker 1: Hello, Hello Catherine.
Speaker 2: Hi Chelsea, Hi, Hi, you.
Speaker 3: Are fresh off your Vegas residency.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: It was so ridiculous. We kicked it off. We kicked
Speaker 1: off my Vegas residency. It was fucking epic. I had
Speaker 1: the thunder from down Under guys carry me out on stage.
Speaker 1: They were like, should we do this? I'm like, I
Speaker 1: don't see why not. And then I had Natasha Lazeiro
Speaker 1: open for me.
Speaker 4: Oh fantastic.
Speaker 1: I hadn't gotten to perform with her in like twenty years,
Speaker 1: so that was fucking so much fun.
Speaker 2: I had a bunch of friends come.
Speaker 1: Of course, we all went gambling after, and even though
Speaker 1: I left with less money than I started with, I
Speaker 1: was supporting my whole table with their gambling because once
Speaker 1: everyone ran out of money, I started handing out chips,
Speaker 1: you know how I.
Speaker 2: Like to do that.
Speaker 1: Of course, So I consider it to be a huge
Speaker 1: win anyway, because I still left with money and I
Speaker 1: didn't blow it all, and I'm just so excited about
Speaker 1: this residency. We flew in at like four o'clock. I
Speaker 1: went down to the bar, made some surprise drinks for
Speaker 1: some customers because they have a Chelsea drink there now
Speaker 1: in my honor excellent Chelsea at the cons of my
Speaker 1: hotel and then yeah, I can't. I'm just it was
Speaker 1: really fun and it's it was huge. I was like, whoa,
Speaker 1: this is a big deal. So yeah, my next dates
Speaker 1: are November second and November thirtieth, and then all throughout
Speaker 1: the year. So check my schedule. Mofos and this week
Speaker 1: and I'm coming to Foxwood's in Connecticut and Portland, Maine.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be in performing in Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: do you have somebody Importland, Maine.
Speaker 3: We went to a gorgeous restaurant called Eventide, and we
Speaker 3: started chatting with the bartender and her name was also
Speaker 3: Catherine with a seat and you know, she says, what
Speaker 3: do you do? And we started talking about podcasts and
Speaker 3: all those of the podcast on she goes, oh, Chelsea
Speaker 3: Hndler's been in here.
Speaker 4: So I was like, great, that's perfect.
Speaker 3: So you've got to go back to Eventide and say
Speaker 3: hi to Catherine if you're there.
Speaker 2: Is that in Portland?
Speaker 4: Yes, in Portland, Maine.
Speaker 2: Is there a like a bar in the middle of
Speaker 2: the restaurant.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a big bar in the middle of
Speaker 3: the restaurant, part oyster bar, part bar bar.
Speaker 2: Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's cute. That's cute.
Speaker 1: I'm on an oyster kick lately, so I'm really going
Speaker 1: after it. Doug did not make it to Vegas. He
Speaker 1: came to my show on Friday night, and he's such
Speaker 1: a dream boat.
Speaker 2: I mean he is so affectionate with men too.
Speaker 4: Now, oh good, Yeah, he.
Speaker 1: Is really just he's getting better and better and better.
Speaker 1: It's like I want to do like an ambastardorship for chows.
Speaker 3: Got a rebrand?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to rebrand chows.
Speaker 4: They really are sweet dogs.
Speaker 3: I think they get a bad rap because they were
Speaker 3: like bread for fighting, but like they're really really mushy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean they're originally from China, so whatever that means.
Speaker 3: Just like pugs, we both have Chinese dogs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean who knew?
Speaker 5: Who knew?
Speaker 3: Well, this week we have an awesome gas.
Speaker 1: I'm just so happy to have this person on my podcast.
Speaker 1: For those of you who do not follow skiing, she
Speaker 1: is the winningest skier of all time, and yes that
Speaker 1: is the word they use. She has broken every record
Speaker 1: in skiing. She is the ultimate champion and I just
Speaker 1: am in such awe of her and her name is
Speaker 1: Mikhayla Schiffrin and I get the pleasure of speaking with
Speaker 1: her today. Please welcome Mikayla Schiffrin. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeay, yay.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to introduce our very special guest today
Speaker 1: because it's very hard to pin this woman down. She's very,
Speaker 1: very fucking busy. Okay, she is. She's not gonna like
Speaker 1: this intro. She's gonna get shy, but I don't care.
Speaker 2: She is the.
Speaker 1: Winningest alpine ski racer of all time. Or you could
Speaker 1: also refer to her as the greatest alpine ski racer
Speaker 1: of all time. Or you could refer to her as
Speaker 1: a two time Olympic champion and a seven time World
Speaker 1: champion and a five time overalled World Cup champion. This
Speaker 1: woman is fucking phenomenal. And her name is Mikayla Shiffrid. Welcome, Mikaela.
Speaker 5: I'm dying.
Speaker 2: I know, thank you.
Speaker 1: I know you're shy and that you're low key, and
Speaker 1: that this is embarrassing for you, and that was my intention.
Speaker 5: I expected nothing less, No, thank you. That was amazing.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, how are you.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so happy to see your face. This is Catherine,
Speaker 1: my producer. Hi, welcome to Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm so happy I get to see you
Speaker 2: face to face. Finally.
Speaker 1: We've DMed before and you've talked a little bit, you know,
Speaker 1: little short messages, but we've never really gotten a chance
Speaker 1: to talk. So I know you're so busy and that
Speaker 1: you just came back from Paris and you got to
Speaker 1: be a spectator. So yes, first tell me what that
Speaker 1: was like, because it must have been so nice to
Speaker 1: watch people perform and be at their at their best
Speaker 1: without actually having to do much on your own.
Speaker 6: You're totally right, it was. I was kind of like,
Speaker 6: m this spectating thing is pretty nice. It was amazing.
Speaker 6: I mean, those athletes, they're insane, and even the athlete
Speaker 6: who don't win, the athletes who are maybe expected to
Speaker 6: win and don't win, but you're like, you're just I
Speaker 6: don't know. Somehow, taking a step back and watching it
Speaker 6: from that perspective opened my eyes a little bit to
Speaker 6: Like when we're there and I'm racing and I'm feeling
Speaker 6: the pressure and I feel like it's the be all
Speaker 6: end all, like this is the end of the world,
Speaker 6: and I'm looking back at it, I'm like, holy shit, no,
Speaker 6: Like everybody here is really good and this is like
Speaker 6: a really good show. I don't know if it takes
Speaker 6: pressure off or it puts pressure on or it changes
Speaker 6: that at all, but it just gives me like a
Speaker 6: little bit of perspective.
Speaker 5: It was super inspirational, so it was good time.
Speaker 2: Well, it was also very poignant as a woman.
Speaker 1: The whole conversation around mental health and what happened with
Speaker 1: Simone Biles just really kind of kicked this Olympics off
Speaker 1: in a way that made everybody aware of the power
Speaker 1: of being an athlete and the power of actually taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself right, and the power of standing up
Speaker 1: for yourself in a sport, which was just true of
Speaker 1: most sports where people don't aren't allowed the room to
Speaker 1: stand up for themselves, or they have male coaches that
Speaker 1: are in a complete dysfunctional power dynamic where you're just
Speaker 1: being worked worked, worked, worked worked, And I just thought
Speaker 1: it was so empowering to have someone come back and
Speaker 1: kick ass in the way that she did. And then
Speaker 1: all the other female athletes who got gold medals, and
Speaker 1: all of the black female athletes that got gold medals, ye,
Speaker 1: and the black excellence that we saw, you know, during
Speaker 1: these Olympics, it was on full display. So I know
Speaker 1: you talk a lot, You've spoken a lot about your
Speaker 1: own mental health and your own journey its struggles, however
Speaker 1: you want to frame it. So what was it like
Speaker 1: for you as an athlete having experienced all of those
Speaker 1: things seeing it demonstrated and spoken about in this very
Speaker 1: public way.
Speaker 6: I think that the whole experience made me feel really grateful,
Speaker 6: like really appreciative. Like I was actually thinking about this
Speaker 6: last night, not to be weird, but in the shower,
Speaker 6: like where I do most of my thinking thinking about someone.
Speaker 6: So I was like, shit. She tweeted something about, like
Speaker 6: stop asking us what we're gonna do right after we
Speaker 6: win an Olympic medal, like I'm gonna go babysit my medal,
Speaker 6: that kind of thing, and I was laughing at it.
Speaker 6: So I was like, that is true, and good for
Speaker 6: her for actually calling that out, because I always wait,
Speaker 6: I walk away from those conversations like why am I
Speaker 6: so frustrated that this person is interested in what I
Speaker 6: want to do with my life and what I'm doing
Speaker 6: after this. But the fact is you're like I didn't
Speaker 6: have like a really really thought out plan for the
Speaker 6: next three month. Like we were like, we're just trying
Speaker 6: to get here so far, so like we're kind of
Speaker 6: making it up as we go. But the other side
Speaker 6: of it is nobody really knows how to say thank
Speaker 6: you face to face. Like honestly, all we really want
Speaker 6: to say to her is thank you.
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, on behalf of female athletes, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, and I know that you've
Speaker 1: had a lot of similar experiences although it's a completely
Speaker 1: different sport. It's so interesting to look at all the
Speaker 1: different sports, right because there's like in Mikaela's sport, there's
Speaker 1: different disciplines. She trains for different disciplines, which is kind
Speaker 1: of unheard of. You have to have like completely separate
Speaker 1: training programs. She's not just doing one thing, she's doing
Speaker 1: multiple things. And for a lot of these athletes, like gymnasts,
Speaker 1: they are also doing multiple things. They're doing floor routines,
Speaker 1: they're doing the uneven bars, they're doing the horse and
Speaker 1: all of those things. But for you, Mikaela, I know
Speaker 1: you've been through tough times. I know your dad passed away.
Speaker 1: You've spoken about that publicly, very beautifully and you started
Speaker 1: a foundation in his name. You went through a difficult
Speaker 1: season understandably so after your dad passed away, and the
Speaker 1: next year you came back and basically broke every record
Speaker 1: that was possible. So for men and women, I mean,
Speaker 1: she has more or wins than men and women. So
Speaker 1: so tell us a little bit about that now that
Speaker 1: you have some perspective and what you learned and where
Speaker 1: your greatest source of strength came from, because I know
Speaker 1: you must have felt so so low at times and
Speaker 1: not wanting to even compete and then you know, not
Speaker 1: competing well or at your best, and how you turn
Speaker 1: that around because it's all so similar.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think our greatest source of strength is time.
Speaker 6: It's just being able to give yourself the grace of
Speaker 6: taking time. And we don't really we're not trained to
Speaker 6: do that as athletes. We're trained to be faster and
Speaker 6: to go faster and to do things better and quicker
Speaker 6: and stronger, and it's all like strength is taken very literally.
Speaker 6: It's like how much weight can you squat and whatever,
Speaker 6: how fast you can get down the mountain. And for me,
Speaker 6: that first season after my dad passed was like this
Speaker 6: grace period season in my own mind, it was like,
Speaker 6: I just want to actually figure out. That whole season
Speaker 6: for me was helping me decide if I still wanted
Speaker 6: to be a ski racer. And I just didn't want
Speaker 6: to quit before I gave myself a real chance to try.
Speaker 6: But there were so many points during that season where
Speaker 6: I just wanted to stop. I mean, I think it
Speaker 6: was about a week and a half before going to
Speaker 6: the Olympics. I remember having this race I just had
Speaker 6: COVID twenty twenty two, was two years after my dad
Speaker 6: had passed away. But you're still like, Okay.
Speaker 5: I want to be doing this. But even then, I was.
Speaker 6: At a ski race in Austria and I was fifth
Speaker 6: after the first run, not that far off. I had
Speaker 6: a chance to pull back time in the second run
Speaker 6: and potentially win, and I was having like a full
Speaker 6: on breakdown with my mom in the car.
Speaker 5: In the parking lot.
Speaker 6: We didn't go to like the athlete hospitality that's what
Speaker 6: they call, but it's really a tent and a parking
Speaker 6: lot at the bottom of a ski race.
Speaker 5: It's just like where we go between runs.
Speaker 6: But we had gotten off in our separate space and
Speaker 6: I was bawling. I was like, I want to go home,
Speaker 6: and she's like, you're not. You didn't ski that bad,
Speaker 6: like you have a good chance at this race. I'm like, no,
Speaker 6: it's not about that. I'm so tired. I just spent
Speaker 6: almost two weeks in quarantine. The Olympics are coming up,
Speaker 6: and into two weeks I had COVID as close to
Speaker 6: the games as you could possibly have it without it
Speaker 6: keeping you from being able to participate, which means you're
Speaker 6: stuck inside basically in a hotel room for ten days
Speaker 6: right before you go to the Olympic Games. I was like,
Speaker 6: I'm just tired. I'm tired from not doing anything. I'm
Speaker 6: tired from not being able to train, like training and
Speaker 6: skiing gives me life. And I'm just so frustrated and
Speaker 6: I don't care about this race this like this race
Speaker 6: has nothing to do with it or whether I win
Speaker 6: or not. Like that's really I couldn't care less, but
Speaker 6: I want to I just want to be home. The
Speaker 6: thing that would make me feel good right now is
Speaker 6: by booking a plane ticket home. And she was like, Okay, okay,
Speaker 6: let's just get through the second run and then we'll
Speaker 6: get back to our lodging and we'll book the ticket
Speaker 6: and I was like, Okay, I can do that, and
Speaker 6: then I ended up pulling back. It was like I
Speaker 6: had given up and then ended pulling back the race,
Speaker 6: winning the race. It was this whole historic thing because
Speaker 6: this first time that the women had raced and schladming,
Speaker 6: which is normally a men's venu, and it was this
Speaker 6: whole exciting ordeal and I was just like totally withdrawn
Speaker 6: from the whole thing. And it was the first time
Speaker 6: that I actually drank the champagne bottle that they gave up,
Speaker 6: and it's like a big it's a big bottle. I
Speaker 6: was like, give that fucking thing. It was just like
Speaker 6: I don't know exactly where I'm going with that.
Speaker 1: No, I hear your story, But what do you think
Speaker 1: of that? Do you look at that as like a lesson?
Speaker 1: Do you think because I mean, it's so true in
Speaker 1: the moments where we're ready to give up and I'm
Speaker 1: pleasing I'm not grouping myself in with you as an athlete,
Speaker 1: but in the life moments that we're all ready to
Speaker 1: give up, that's when miracles do happen.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: It's where like all of your training, all of your discipline,
Speaker 1: all of your expertise kind of comes in sometimes when
Speaker 1: you're not available to do it yourself, everything else works
Speaker 1: for you, like.
Speaker 6: The instinct that you've trained actually takes over. Because I
Speaker 6: just didn't have a capacity to think or to really
Speaker 6: care at that point, right, So then I was just
Speaker 6: like purely skiing and it was one of the best
Speaker 6: runs I've ever taken. It was like raw, I almost
Speaker 6: want to say, unemotional. It was just skiing and it
Speaker 6: was a pretty pivotal moment for me. But then all
Speaker 6: I needed was just to get through this moment. I
Speaker 6: just needed to put one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 6: I just needed time and it's going to take longer
Speaker 6: than that, and it, you know, I didn't like I
Speaker 6: struggled through the Olympics, and I struggled on and off
Speaker 6: that season. I also had amazing results. I won some
Speaker 6: races and it wasn't a bad season altogether. It was
Speaker 6: just like it was just a mentally and emotionally challenging season,
Speaker 6: and every season presents something that's challenging. So since then,
Speaker 6: I've just been like time and breathe through it, and like,
Speaker 6: when I'm feeling really shitty, just give myself the grace
Speaker 6: of time.
Speaker 1: And then season twenty twenty three, which was last year
Speaker 1: when you went buck wild one race after another.
Speaker 2: I can't even tell you.
Speaker 1: It was just And I have friends in the ski
Speaker 1: that run the US ski and snowboard teams, so they
Speaker 1: are always updating me on Michael information if I'm not
Speaker 1: in the country or something, because I just I just
Speaker 1: fucking love watching you excel. I mean, it just brings
Speaker 1: me such joy. And I can only imagine how your
Speaker 1: own fucking mother feels. I mean, she must be bouncing
Speaker 1: off the walls. But how did that feel when you came?
Speaker 1: Like I mean, and I know it's not effortless, of
Speaker 1: course it's not. It's years and years of training and
Speaker 1: it's and it's talent. It's innate talent that you are
Speaker 1: honing all of the time.
Speaker 2: So how did it feel? Well, how does it feel.
Speaker 1: When you're on a run like that and you keep winning,
Speaker 1: you keep coming in first.
Speaker 2: Does it feel lucky?
Speaker 1: Like do you feel like, Okay, finally I'm in charge
Speaker 1: of this or does it feel fragile?
Speaker 5: That is so interesting.
Speaker 6: It feels kind of a mix of everything, Like it's
Speaker 6: on the one side, it's knowing that that run could
Speaker 6: end at any moment, because it really depends on how
Speaker 6: the other athletes are skiing and if they figure it out,
Speaker 6: if they change their sk boots and that boot just
Speaker 6: gives them a little extra power, and all of a
Speaker 6: sudden they figure out their timing and they just and
Speaker 6: they're just become faster. Like those are things that were
Speaker 6: sort of that's what we're battling every race, and this
Speaker 6: season I just had the edge on everyone more often
Speaker 6: than not. And then there was a whole record that
Speaker 6: was the that was the record season, and I was
Speaker 6: in this mindset where I was like, I don't care
Speaker 6: about the record. I don't care about it, and I'm
Speaker 6: and people are gonna ask and I'm used to them asking,
Speaker 6: so that doesn't even bother me anymore. And I did
Speaker 6: a pretty good job. My whole team, we all did
Speaker 6: a really good job to kind of put that whole
Speaker 6: thing aside, so we really just focused on the skiing.
Speaker 6: And it's like sometimes the season with the seasons with
Speaker 6: the most opportunity, where most people would start to get greedy,
Speaker 6: I tend to like settle in and just be like, well,
Speaker 6: one race at a time, one training day at a time,
Speaker 6: Like I'm not taking this for granted. I'm this might
Speaker 6: I might not win tomorrow, so I'm like gonna do
Speaker 6: the best that I can today and then we'll focus
Speaker 6: on tomorrow when it happens. And I just am really
Speaker 6: really present in the moment. And that was how that
Speaker 6: season was. It was just like not fragile, but just
Speaker 6: like very grateful. I guess the headline for the season
Speaker 6: was gratitude. Those are my best seasons ever, is when
Speaker 6: I'm just kind of feeling grateful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that applies to a lot of
Speaker 1: different things too, you know. I think when you do
Speaker 1: have the gratitude for what your experience, the abundance does come.
Speaker 1: Because she didn't just break the record, she just kept
Speaker 1: breaking it and breaking it over and over again. And
Speaker 1: then this past season she got hurt. You tore your mcl.
Speaker 6: Right MCL then, and I explained my ankle, which sounds
Speaker 6: like so stupid, but that thing.
Speaker 5: That is what hurt the most.
Speaker 2: So ny and ankle.
Speaker 1: I just can't take any of your injuries seriously because
Speaker 1: they don't seem to keep you down for very long.
Speaker 2: So I'm sorry for my lack of my lack of combassion.
Speaker 5: Nobody knew nobody knew about the ankle because I didn't.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, I hurt my knee, but the
Speaker 5: ankle kind of we it later. It doesn't matter. Now.
Speaker 1: Your fiance was in a brutal ski accident. And this
Speaker 1: ski accident was like it was real. It was really
Speaker 1: difficult to even hear about. I can't even imagine what
Speaker 1: you guys went through. His name is Alexander, and they've
Speaker 1: been dating for I think three years, right, mckaiah, right, yep.
Speaker 1: So he's in a terrible ski accident, which happened first.
Speaker 5: His happened first. Mine was a couple of weeks later.
Speaker 1: And his correct me if I'm wrong, hit a major artery,
Speaker 1: and if he hadn't been on a ski mountain with
Speaker 1: professional help so close by, it could have been really disastrous.
Speaker 6: His was life threatening. He missed the artery, thankfully, because
Speaker 6: he would have died, but he cut his cat He
Speaker 6: basically cut his leg almost clean off, and he severed
Speaker 6: a nerve like the most important motor function and sensory
Speaker 6: nerve for your entire lower leg. So he completely lost
Speaker 6: feeling in his foot and motor control, and the motor
Speaker 6: control is now coming back, thankfully. But the feeling is
Speaker 6: likely never going to really come back. And his shoulder.
Speaker 6: So the leg is actually now in pretty good shape,
Speaker 6: but the shoulder, the doctor basically said that his surgeon
Speaker 6: basically said, I've been doing this.
Speaker 5: For like twenty years.
Speaker 6: I've never seen an accident a shoulder, Like I just
Speaker 6: presented on the worst rotator cuff injuries I've ever seen
Speaker 6: two weeks ago, and I wish I was doing that
Speaker 6: presentation now because this is the worst I've ever seen,
Speaker 6: and we're like.
Speaker 5: Oh good, what does that mean?
Speaker 6: But he he was doing really really well, he was
Speaker 6: improving really well, and then this like fluke freak thing
Speaker 6: happened a couple weeks ago and he got an infection
Speaker 6: in the shoulder and or they found it a couple
Speaker 6: weeks ago. It was like festering underneath for a while.
Speaker 6: So that's like a fairly big setback. But overall he
Speaker 6: is so positive and now he's like, Okay, well this
Speaker 6: absolutely sucks, but I'm gonna just these are the cars
Speaker 6: I'm dealt now, so let's take that. And that like
Speaker 6: he signed up to do some studies like an online
Speaker 6: core for the next eight weeks and he can't do
Speaker 6: much until he's gone through the course of antibiotics, so
Speaker 6: he's like, all right, well we'll make the use of
Speaker 6: the time now. And that's for me, that's incredibly inspiring, because,
Speaker 6: like you said, my injury was I mean, it was
Speaker 6: a big injury, but it was minor in the grand
Speaker 6: scheme of things, especially compared to Alex. And I came
Speaker 6: back the same season and I won my last two races,
Speaker 6: so it was a kind of a bummer, but I
Speaker 6: still had a really successful season and I'm just sort
Speaker 6: of brushing it off like these things happened. But for him,
Speaker 6: I'm like, God, you're so inspiring.
Speaker 1: Well, and also, I mean, to be in the same
Speaker 1: sport together and to have had bigger injuries than just
Speaker 1: your MCL this past season. Not to minimize that, but
Speaker 1: you've had bigger injuries. Well, what does it mean for
Speaker 1: you to be able to kind of show up for
Speaker 1: someone that you love so much when they're in a
Speaker 1: situation that you're familiar with as a competitor and then
Speaker 1: as a fiance.
Speaker 6: Yeah, well, you know, we see a lot of pretty
Speaker 6: horrific crashes and ski racing. For whatever reason, this year
Speaker 6: was more than any other season we've had just so
Speaker 6: many athletes got bad injuries.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you watch her coming down the mountain,
Speaker 1: like when she comes out of a gate when she's
Speaker 1: doing downhill, I would rather I mean I would sit
Speaker 1: on my ass and just hope to God I could
Speaker 1: get down to the mountain.
Speaker 2: You cannot believe the risk on their.
Speaker 1: Lives that they are taking every single time someone's ski races.
Speaker 2: It is insanity.
Speaker 5: I know, I know.
Speaker 6: Well, Okay, So a couple back in May we went
Speaker 6: to the F one race in Monaco and we met
Speaker 6: Yuki Sonoda and Alex and Yuki were like totally had
Speaker 6: a romance going, and you know, Yuki was like, wow,
Speaker 6: that's so crazy what you do. And Alex was like, well,
Speaker 6: what you do is more dangerous, and I was like.
Speaker 5: Whoa well, whoa wa.
Speaker 6: They have a car, like a very very protective, secure
Speaker 6: car like fire Through. It's not that it's not dangerous,
Speaker 6: it's just we're doing this with literally razor blades and
Speaker 6: like you've got like a light fence in front of
Speaker 6: the pile of trees, Like we're not protected at all.
Speaker 5: I don't mistake this.
Speaker 1: What we do is really and if one thing goes wrong,
Speaker 1: that's a massive injury. Yeah, it's very rare that they
Speaker 1: wipe out and like they haven't heard anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, it does happen.
Speaker 6: If you crash, you pretty much get hurt and then
Speaker 6: it's just a matter of how hurt you get. But yeah,
Speaker 6: so I flew to the hospital to meet him. He
Speaker 6: like had the emergency evac went to the hospital in
Speaker 6: Switzerland and I went to meet him.
Speaker 5: And I was in Austria.
Speaker 6: So we like my and my family, my brother and
Speaker 6: his and my sister in law, they had just arrived.
Speaker 6: My mom, she travels with me as my coach. They
Speaker 6: all just like, well, we're just coming with you and
Speaker 6: we're just gonna help if we can help, or we'll
Speaker 6: just keep you company, or we'll like logistically whatever whatever
Speaker 6: you need. So we got there and I was there
Speaker 6: when Alex woke up from his surgery and the poor
Speaker 6: I mean, I've never experienced a situation like this, like ye,
Speaker 6: this his accident was on a different level from most
Speaker 6: crashes in skiing because the severity of his shoulder and
Speaker 6: the severity of his leg. His shoulder was causing him
Speaker 6: an insane amount of pain, but they weren't addressing that
Speaker 6: because they had to tournique his leg and get him
Speaker 6: to the hospital.
Speaker 5: So he had two.
Speaker 6: Hours where his shoulder was out of completely out of place,
Speaker 6: and he was just like ten out of ten pain.
Speaker 6: He was like pat He kept passing out from the
Speaker 6: pain and then wake up in a panic, and he
Speaker 6: had seen his own leg and he didn't care about it.
Speaker 6: He was like, please fix my shoulder, and they're like, no,
Speaker 6: just we'll get to it. And this the whole story
Speaker 6: is like horrific. As he's sitting on the mountain and
Speaker 6: then he gets taken away by the helicopter and he's
Speaker 6: dangling by the rope and then the sled starts spinning
Speaker 6: out of control and that made him sick.
Speaker 5: And then like they were giving.
Speaker 6: Him, you know, morphine, which is one of the things
Speaker 6: that they give you immediately and that I don't know
Speaker 6: if he's allergic to it or what, but he got
Speaker 6: really sick from it, which is a common response. So
Speaker 6: when he woke up in the hospital, he was asking
Speaker 6: about his split times from the race, and I'm just
Speaker 6: sitting there like, oh my god. First of all, your
Speaker 6: leg is your leg's.
Speaker 5: Gonna be okay.
Speaker 6: You didn't lose your leg, like you can look down,
Speaker 6: you can look down at your feet.
Speaker 5: You didn't lose your.
Speaker 2: Leg, And were you the first person who told him that? Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh my god.
Speaker 6: And he was like oh, and he's like, I fucked
Speaker 6: up my face and like, your face is really surprisingly
Speaker 6: not that bad, Like you've got some scratches, but those
Speaker 6: are also going to heal. It was just sad because
Speaker 6: the last time that I had been in a hospital
Speaker 6: in a situation where somebody hooked up to that many
Speaker 6: wires was when my dad died. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 6: just please don't die, you know. And at that point
Speaker 6: he was stable, but it was still he wasn't really
Speaker 6: in the clear for the next two weeks because a
Speaker 6: lot of like post traumatic head stuff can come up.
Speaker 6: And he had you know, full body scan and we
Speaker 6: were really checking every part of his body to make
Speaker 6: sure there were no other internal injuries or.
Speaker 5: Anything like that.
Speaker 6: But it was just a really really intense first twenty
Speaker 6: four hours and then two weeks and then.
Speaker 5: It's still going right.
Speaker 1: But being there for him in that way, especially when
Speaker 1: you're saying that about your dad, you're right, It's funny
Speaker 1: the way that life works, you know, where these situations
Speaker 1: present yourselves and you're like, oh, okay, this I don't have.
Speaker 1: Now you have a different experience with that hospital. You
Speaker 1: have a different experience with somebody in that state in
Speaker 1: that hospital that is surviving, and that that experience was
Speaker 1: given to you, even though it's not something you would
Speaker 1: ever think to ask for.
Speaker 6: Right It's like, in the immediate time, you like, why
Speaker 6: would this happen to someone I love? But then in
Speaker 6: the end it's like I kind of see it as
Speaker 6: a gift because he has gotten through it better than
Speaker 6: we could ever imagine, and he's still going through it.
Speaker 6: But it's also like a lesson in mentality about how
Speaker 6: these really shitty things happened to people, and like he
Speaker 6: he has gone through so much pain and he finds
Speaker 6: a way to s smile and say thank you and
Speaker 6: look forward to things, and you're just like, okay, it's
Speaker 6: just it's all gonna it's gonna be okay. Like even
Speaker 6: if it's not okay, it's gonna be okay. When you
Speaker 6: have that kind of a mindset, time is the biggest
Speaker 6: gift that we have. And if you can just somehow
Speaker 6: get through the hardest moments, then you just always you
Speaker 6: kind of always come out on the other side like
Speaker 6: I'm still somehow okay, And in that moment, I'm like
Speaker 6: I had a race the next two two days later,
Speaker 6: I think, or like within the next two days, and
Speaker 6: I was like, if I don't make it back for
Speaker 6: that race, I really don't care.
Speaker 5: It's just the perspective.
Speaker 6: Comes in and you're like, as much as ski racing
Speaker 6: is in the forefront for me, like I really don't care.
Speaker 6: I ended up making back it back for that race,
Speaker 6: and then I won the race. And it was only
Speaker 6: because like, if I'm going to leave him to go
Speaker 6: to a ski race, then I better fucking win the
Speaker 6: ski race. I'm not like, there's no other option here.
Speaker 6: And it was it was one of those weird there's
Speaker 6: like a demon took over my body because I had
Speaker 6: no right to I had slept on the floor of
Speaker 6: the hospital. It's like, I have no right to be
Speaker 6: winning this race. I really probably shouldn't even be doing it,
Speaker 6: but I'm here, so I will.
Speaker 5: I will win.
Speaker 2: But that's your superpower. That's your superpower.
Speaker 1: That's why you're such a fucking badass, because you do
Speaker 1: fucking win over and over and over again in dark moments,
Speaker 1: and I know you've had, and I like, how do
Speaker 1: you feel about Do you feel like your dad's with
Speaker 1: you when you ski race?
Speaker 6: No? I mean this is sort of a this speaking
Speaker 6: and dark. You know, Everybody's like, oh, I can feel
Speaker 6: my life. I can feel my loved ones. I can
Speaker 6: feel the people I've lost, Like sometimes when a certain
Speaker 6: wind blows, I feel like they're with me, or I
Speaker 6: get these moments and a like a quiet I get
Speaker 6: these feelings in a quiet moment, They're there, and like,
Speaker 6: I have not had that kind of experience, not not
Speaker 6: in the way people explain it, and I feel like
Speaker 6: I keep expecting it and it's still I just I
Speaker 6: think about him a lot. I have dreams about him,
Speaker 6: like walking through the door, and I look forward to
Speaker 6: these dreams so much and I can't control when they happen,
Speaker 6: but when they do, I'm just like, please stay asleep
Speaker 6: as long as possible, because then when I wake up,
Speaker 6: it's like waking up as a nightmare, which is sort
Speaker 6: of shitty, but that's how I feel. But when I'm racing,
Speaker 6: you need to focus on what you're doing when you're
Speaker 6: ski racing, because it's dangerous. Maybe my superpower is like
Speaker 6: the hyper focus people are like, can you just be
Speaker 6: a little bit more fun?
Speaker 1: What was one of the moments that you've had where
Speaker 1: you were really proud of how you handled yourself.
Speaker 6: Right now, what I'm thinking of is in Beijing, So
Speaker 6: you know, I went through the whole I went through
Speaker 6: the whole line of media and mix zone after every
Speaker 6: time I crashed, and it was like you can either
Speaker 6: walk by them and put the you know, the blinders
Speaker 6: up and ignore them, and it's a line of like
Speaker 6: one hundred or more different media outlets, and I was.
Speaker 5: Like, no, I'm just just gonna.
Speaker 6: Tak And it was right after each race that was
Speaker 6: not successful, it was like immediately thereafter, but particularly after
Speaker 6: the I think it was the combined race where it
Speaker 6: was like, oh, like, you really fucked that up, and
Speaker 6: I was like, Okay, well, it's just going to talk.
Speaker 5: To the people and see what comes up. And it's
Speaker 5: not that I'm.
Speaker 6: Proud of that, but I'm proud of going through that
Speaker 6: and not coming out on the other side totally jaded
Speaker 6: and angry at the media for doing their job that
Speaker 6: they're supposed to do. That we're very very thankful for
Speaker 6: when we win medals and we get put up on
Speaker 6: the pedestal and you get sponsorship deals and your marketing
Speaker 6: value goes sky high because of the media. They're asking
Speaker 6: those questions when you're successful, but when you fail as
Speaker 6: an athlete, it's so hard to be like, well, I
Speaker 6: just want some privacy now, and you're like, well, that's
Speaker 6: not really how this works, because they make me feel
Speaker 6: amazing if I won.
Speaker 5: So they're literally just doing a job. I guess I'm
Speaker 5: proud of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great answer. I love that answer. Okay,
Speaker 2: On that note, we're going to take a break and
Speaker 2: we're going to be right with some callers.
Speaker 5: Mckalla.
Speaker 2: You're gonna give out some advice to some strangers. Okay. Oh,
Speaker 2: and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: And we're back with Mikaela, Schiffrien and Doug just joined
Speaker 1: us on the couch. Hopefully you can see him in
Speaker 1: the video sit down, love her boy.
Speaker 2: It's so hard to see him because oh.
Speaker 5: The couch, I know, beautiful. Thank you well.
Speaker 4: Our first question comes from Ashley.
Speaker 2: Is that ski racing related?
Speaker 5: Actually?
Speaker 4: Should we start with that one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's start with it.
Speaker 1: Let's war Michaela up, don't worry, we went have you
Speaker 1: on the conversation so you don't have to deal with
Speaker 1: giving out too much advice, so don't feel too much fresh.
Speaker 4: This comes from Amanda. She's forty.
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, I had surgery on my knee this past June,
Speaker 3: which is the second time I've blown out my ACL
Speaker 3: while skiing to impress but ultimately letting fear make my movements.
Speaker 3: The second surgery included an LCL enhancement to really help
Speaker 3: my forty year old knee hang in there.
Speaker 4: I'm looking for.
Speaker 3: Advice on how to build strengthen my I need this winter,
Speaker 3: as well as possibly wearing a brace in the future.
Speaker 3: At the doctor, I felt pressure to upgrade to a
Speaker 3: fancy ice machine post surgery, and now they're looking to
Speaker 3: fit me for our brace. Do braces actually help or
Speaker 3: is it better to build the strengthen the knee and
Speaker 3: ski with awareness of how the knee is being impacted?
Speaker 3: Thanks so much, Amanda.
Speaker 2: Oh well that's super interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 3: She was like a little cagey about like are the
Speaker 3: doctors just doing this to make a little extra walk?
Speaker 5: So yeah, no, it's true.
Speaker 6: I mean that is there is a little bit of
Speaker 6: that in the medical world, and obviously we're very very
Speaker 6: thankful that they're there to take care of us and
Speaker 6: fix us up. But so professional athletes, a lot of
Speaker 6: us do ski with braces through knee injuries in order
Speaker 6: to get back. It's not that it provides more stability.
Speaker 6: Really like it's a brace, and it's also a mental brace.
Speaker 6: It makes you feel like, okay, it's but it can
Speaker 6: also become a bit of a crutch. And so we
Speaker 6: are sort of told that as soon as you can
Speaker 6: get out of the brace, get out of the brace.
Speaker 6: Do with ACL reconstructions and surgeries, you need a brace
Speaker 6: for a certain period of time. So it's I don't
Speaker 6: know if they're giving you one for they're telling you
Speaker 6: to buy it for the next years and years and
Speaker 6: years of your life.
Speaker 5: I would say wait on that.
Speaker 6: As long as you have a brace for the short
Speaker 6: period of getting through the initial part of this surgery.
Speaker 6: But the most important thing is that you build up
Speaker 6: the strength. You do the rehab work, you do, the
Speaker 6: sort of motor control work, in balance work that is
Speaker 6: really necessary for ACL surgeries and repairs, the neuromuscular connection
Speaker 6: that is really lacking even after the tendon has healed thoroughly.
Speaker 6: So for the next I would say for the next
Speaker 6: two years, you really really need to stay on top
Speaker 6: of any kind of neuromuscular work, apprope reception, balance training,
Speaker 6: and then just your overall strength training, Like ham strings
Speaker 6: are really important.
Speaker 5: Ham string is strength is important.
Speaker 6: Quad strength, building back your quad and your VMO is
Speaker 6: really important.
Speaker 5: And you can do a.
Speaker 6: Lot of that with very basic tools. You don't necessarily
Speaker 6: need to have like a huge squat rack or something
Speaker 6: you can do. You can do squats and lunges in
Speaker 6: your house and that would be sufficient to kind of
Speaker 6: build backstrength. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And also like mckel is a professional skier, so like
Speaker 2: you're not.
Speaker 1: This woman doesn't sound like she's racing, like doing any
Speaker 1: downhill Chicana rae. So like she sounds like a casual
Speaker 1: skier like me. And if you're like me, first of
Speaker 1: all everything she obviously the professional said, but on a
Speaker 1: more casual a lay person, Yeah, a layperson, this is
Speaker 1: your hobby.
Speaker 2: Half the people I know ski with knee braces.
Speaker 1: I ski with knee brace half the time I had
Speaker 1: ACL I have meniscus.
Speaker 2: I have all that shit too.
Speaker 1: But the strength training is the most important thing, like
Speaker 1: single leg training, single leg squats, always building up your quads,
Speaker 1: and your hamstrings and your butt, like I didn't build
Speaker 1: my butt.
Speaker 2: Enough up and that I paid for that last season.
Speaker 1: So as long as you were constantly really fit, strong, like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be in good stead when you go.
Speaker 2: And it is more of a mental thing to wear
Speaker 2: a brace. But sometimes that's good.
Speaker 6: Well it is mental, I did say, But you're totally right.
Speaker 6: It's just and she definitely like, you definitely need the
Speaker 6: brace in the first the first few months, that first
Speaker 6: six month period, and then it's just like you said,
Speaker 6: in order to help with stability. It is a mental thing, yes,
Speaker 6: but it's like there's a reason they have braces. I
Speaker 6: just don't want them to be telling you, like, in
Speaker 6: six years, you're gonna need to be skiing with this
Speaker 6: knee brace, so you better buy it now, Like that
Speaker 6: might not necessarily be true. It depends on your comfort level,
Speaker 6: and you're really skiing to have fun and be comfortable.
Speaker 6: You're not skiing to win World Cup races, so your
Speaker 6: goal is to be comfortable.
Speaker 1: And don't stop trying. Sometimes it in so much pain
Speaker 1: when I ski, but I never give up. Just don't
Speaker 1: give up. You just don't get a shot at Corvo
Speaker 1: or whatever. You need to get through the day and
Speaker 1: get down the mountain. Okay, that's how I look at it.
Speaker 4: I thought you were gonna say courtA zone, but no.
Speaker 1: One of those too. A shot a cortizone is great too,
Speaker 1: I love those.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 3: Well, our first caller is Laney and she says she
Speaker 3: is planning a wedding like you are.
Speaker 4: Mikayla.
Speaker 3: And she says, my boyfriend and I are planning on
Speaker 3: getting married, and I wanted to use my grandmother's ring.
Speaker 3: When we asked my dad about it, he was very
Speaker 3: excited about the idea. My Greek name is Agatha after
Speaker 3: my grandmother, and my boyfriend has the same name as
Speaker 3: my grandfather, Nico. We also first met on my grandparents' anniversary,
Speaker 3: so it feels sort of like Kismet to use the ring.
Speaker 3: We had planned to use the ring with my father's blessing,
Speaker 3: and then my stepmother told me that the ring is
Speaker 3: hers and I need to quote get over it. I
Speaker 3: should add that the ring has been sitting in a
Speaker 3: bank for fifteen years, untouched, since my grandmother passed, and
Speaker 3: it hasn't been given to anyone directly in the family.
Speaker 3: My stepmom, who has been in my licence I was six.
Speaker 3: Has always treated me differently compared to my half sisters.
Speaker 3: To paint a picture growing up, I was frequently not
Speaker 3: included on family vacations, and my first car was a
Speaker 3: used Mazda, while my younger sister was gifted a new
Speaker 3: S Class Mercedes. Don't get me wrong, I've had a
Speaker 3: more than fortunate life. College was paid for and I
Speaker 3: have had a roof over my head thanks to the
Speaker 3: financial assistance of my dad. But it's come with its
Speaker 3: share of challenges, not the least of which was losing
Speaker 3: my mom to Alzheimer's three years ago.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I really have learned not to ask for material things
Speaker 3: because I don't want to get my hopes up only
Speaker 3: to be let down. In fact, I fear getting married
Speaker 3: because of that stress. But something about my grandmother's ring
Speaker 3: holds some sentimental value to me. She's my guardian angel,
Speaker 3: and I feel so deeply she would want me to
Speaker 3: have it, since I know my stepmom won't budge though.
Speaker 3: We've gone ahead and designed something for him to use
Speaker 3: when the time comes. But I can't stop thinking about
Speaker 3: what other issues can arise with my stepmom as we
Speaker 3: move into wedding planning. How can I navigate this tricky
Speaker 3: relationship and not get cut off from the sentimental things
Speaker 3: and traditions I hold Dear Laney. Oh that's hid Hi Laney, Hi, Lany, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 2: This is our special guest, Mikayla schiffriend today.
Speaker 7: Hi.
Speaker 2: She's getting married too.
Speaker 5: I am so excited for you. Thanks you too. I'm
Speaker 5: so excited.
Speaker 6: I haven't gotten too deep in my own wedding planning,
Speaker 6: but just listening to your story, Oh my god. First
Speaker 6: of all, I'm sorry that you seem like you have
Speaker 6: an incredible attitude after experiencing some pretty tough things with family,
Speaker 6: So I'm sorry about that. I'm really inspired by your
Speaker 6: just general mentality and attitude. I think it's incredible that
Speaker 6: you've had the strength to say, you know, like picking
Speaker 6: which battles you want to fight. I don't know, Chelsea,
Speaker 6: like you might have better advice here, but I would say, like,
Speaker 6: your wedding is your it's your thing, and that's a
Speaker 6: place where I would say you need to stand up
Speaker 6: for yourself. Is there something you feel strongly and passionate
Speaker 6: about and about your own wedding and your own your
Speaker 6: own relationship, your own future. I mean it sounds like
Speaker 6: you already gave up the thought of this beautiful ring.
Speaker 2: So yeah, did you already give that thought up?
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 8: I mean I was told that there's not a ring
Speaker 8: for me to have. It just thought about, like, oh,
Speaker 8: it would be nice. It's so weird because my boyfriend
Speaker 8: and I met, we learned it was the day of
Speaker 8: my grandparents' anniversary.
Speaker 9: It's just like weird, little.
Speaker 8: Like happenstances kept happening and it would be like really
Speaker 8: nice to have it.
Speaker 9: But I was told that there's not a ring. Oop.
Speaker 8: Sorry, a landmower, just lawnmower just drove past me. I
Speaker 8: was like, a landmow, Yeah, a landmower. She said, get
Speaker 8: over it. It's mine, get over it. Maybe I'll get
Speaker 8: it when she's dead, yeah, which she'll be fine.
Speaker 2: I like that she thinks she's entitled to your grandmother's ring.
Speaker 4: I know, likelated, what does that have to do with it?
Speaker 9: But that's okay.
Speaker 8: You know, it is one of those things where you know,
Speaker 8: I always feel like my grandparents and my family's has
Speaker 8: passed on are always there with me.
Speaker 9: They, for whatever reason, are protecting me over this.
Speaker 8: I don't need to know the reason why I can't
Speaker 8: or will not have it, and I've been given other
Speaker 8: you know, I have her earrings from the wedding, from
Speaker 8: her wedding, I have little pieces.
Speaker 9: Of her that will always be there.
Speaker 8: But I think that right now it's the if this
Speaker 8: is the stress over a over a ring, I can't
Speaker 8: even imagine the stress over the actual wedding.
Speaker 6: So okay, one thing about the ring. After my dad
Speaker 6: passed away, my brother initially we just let him have
Speaker 6: my dad's ring.
Speaker 5: It looks like this, this is the one beautiful.
Speaker 6: And I was so distraught that my brother actually gave
Speaker 6: it to me, and I think it was sort of temporary,
Speaker 6: but he just said, like keep it. And then two
Speaker 6: years ago during the race season, I lost it. And
Speaker 6: my initial reaction that was it was very painful for
Speaker 6: a few days, especially maybe a few weeks, but I
Speaker 6: ended up I ended up having one made that remind
Speaker 6: and it's really like this, Like you said, it's a
Speaker 6: sentimental value and it doesn't have to look exactly like
Speaker 6: the ring.
Speaker 5: But you what I would say is you've.
Speaker 6: Created something that's your own with her in mind, in
Speaker 6: honor of her, and because of that, the sentimental value
Speaker 6: is there.
Speaker 5: So I would say that it's really really beautiful.
Speaker 6: And then the second thought is just stand up for
Speaker 6: yourself in the moments about like planning your wedding, leading
Speaker 6: up to it and during it where you feel like, no,
Speaker 6: this is not what I want and this day is
Speaker 6: for me, and that's just you have to stand your
Speaker 6: ground there.
Speaker 5: And I hope that there are not too many things
Speaker 5: that you disagree on, like very aggressively.
Speaker 9: But I'm pretty go with the flow to be yes.
Speaker 8: You know, my boyfriend's the one who wants the big wedding,
Speaker 8: and I'm like, he's the princess and I'm trying to
Speaker 8: give him his princess dream.
Speaker 4: Oh Nico.
Speaker 8: So even coming to peace with that part, it's more like, Okay,
Speaker 8: I just talked to my psychic today, my medium over
Speaker 8: over career stuff, not even about this, and she's like,
Speaker 8: you're gonna have the big fact Greek wedding. Just let
Speaker 8: it go, move on, Just don't be breadzilla.
Speaker 5: You are an incredible human.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get great attitude, totally great attitude, and that's
Speaker 1: always going to bring goodness.
Speaker 2: You know your way.
Speaker 1: And if there is a moment that comes up with
Speaker 1: your stepmother, how involved is she in your wedding, not very.
Speaker 9: You know, I'm assuming she's going to be very involved.
Speaker 8: My mom passed three years ago, and so you know,
Speaker 8: wedding planning in general, like the whole process, Like I
Speaker 8: don't know, it's been kind of an emotional thing for me,
Speaker 8: thinking like.
Speaker 9: Oh shit, like you know, these are the things that
Speaker 9: I want to call my mom about and you know
Speaker 9: she's not you know, she's here, but like you know,
Speaker 9: picking out the dress and all of that stuff is
Speaker 9: I still have a mother figure and she's been with
Speaker 9: me in my life for twenty five, twenty seven, I
Speaker 9: don't even know how long, but it's it's going to
Speaker 9: be different, and she's kind of a great person, but
Speaker 9: she's kind of a control break.
Speaker 8: So it's like any little decision I'm going to have
Speaker 8: to like go through her, and that's kind of my anxiety.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think use this as an opportunity, Like it's
Speaker 1: going to be a nice like a little growth spurt
Speaker 1: for you, but an opportunity for you to set boundaries
Speaker 1: in a very healthy, loving friendly way, like this is
Speaker 1: my wedding.
Speaker 2: This is actually my choice.
Speaker 1: You know, I know you're here to help, but I
Speaker 1: just have to let you know that I'm going to
Speaker 1: be making the final decisions on the things when they
Speaker 1: come up. You know, if you have to have a
Speaker 1: larger kind of prophylactic conversation with her before anything happens, then.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I would say that if you feel comfortable talking
Speaker 6: to her prior, like in the next two days or
Speaker 6: whatever and just say like, this is something that's causing
Speaker 6: me stress. I really want this to be beautiful for me,
Speaker 6: for my fiancee, for all of us, but it's causing
Speaker 6: me stress that I'm worried about situations where we're not
Speaker 6: going to agree and whatnot, and like what however you
Speaker 6: want to word it. But my own therapist just she
Speaker 6: always says we honor those we love by being truthful,
Speaker 6: and they're right, she's been in your life for so long,
Speaker 6: Like you're going to honor your own relationship by telling
Speaker 6: her upfront. Like we're getting into this and I am
Speaker 6: already stressed, and I want this to be an experience
Speaker 6: I look back on lovingly and not regretfully totally.
Speaker 8: I think for me, I need to come to terms
Speaker 8: with like I can't make everyone happy. I mean, I've
Speaker 8: got my stepmother and then I have like my mother
Speaker 8: in law, and those two are two different, totally different people,
Speaker 8: and you know, and then myself, and you know, it's
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 9: It all sounds very stressful.
Speaker 7: I don't know it.
Speaker 1: But you can also just move forward in this and
Speaker 1: reframe it in your mind, like this is going to
Speaker 1: be one of the best experiences of my life and
Speaker 1: I'm going to actually go forward with this with confidence
Speaker 1: and security in my decision making. And anyone who wants
Speaker 1: to join the party is fine, but you don't need
Speaker 1: any friction, you know what I mean. And if there
Speaker 1: is friction, then that person's not really gonna be welcome
Speaker 1: to make all these decisions or join you in making
Speaker 1: these decisions. And it's like you're moving into an adult
Speaker 1: part of your life. Getting married is a huge decision,
Speaker 1: and then going through with it is another huge decision.
Speaker 1: And so it's a perfect opportunity for you to kind
Speaker 1: of like thrust yourself into like a more mature version
Speaker 1: of yourself that does have boundaries and that does have
Speaker 1: parameters and people need to meet your needs instead of
Speaker 1: you always having to please theirs.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, so get after it and have a
Speaker 2: great wedding.
Speaker 9: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have faith in you. I think it's gonna
Speaker 2: be awesome.
Speaker 9: I appreciate that. Yeah, thanks so much, guys.
Speaker 2: Okay, take care pliny bye.
Speaker 1: Okay, So we'll take a break and we're going to
Speaker 1: come back with mikaelas Shiffrin, and we're.
Speaker 3: Back, all right. Our second caller today is Lauren. She says,
Speaker 3: I'm looking for some relationship advice. I'm a thirty nine
Speaker 3: year old woman who spent ten years with the wrong guy.
Speaker 3: Most of that time was good until it wasn't. About
Speaker 3: a month into my new single life, I met my
Speaker 3: current boyfriend and we've been dating about a year and
Speaker 3: a half. I absolutely was not planning on getting into
Speaker 3: a relationship at that time, but what can I say.
Speaker 3: We had a lot of chemistry and things just kept progressing.
Speaker 3: A little about me, since I think it's relevant. I'm
Speaker 3: a kind of private person and I'm not overly affectionate either.
Speaker 3: My mom passed when I was nine, and as I'm
Speaker 3: sure you can imagine, we did not grow up being
Speaker 3: cuddled by my boomer dad, and there really was never
Speaker 3: that safe space to be emotional, and I was pushed
Speaker 3: into independence early in life. My dad did his absolute best,
Speaker 3: but I don't think he knew how to handle my
Speaker 3: mom's death and his own feelings, let alone the feelings
Speaker 3: of three young kids. So now being soft or overly
Speaker 3: loving is really foreign to me. It's not that I'm
Speaker 3: not a loving, nurturing person, it's just within intimate relationships.
Speaker 4: So here's where I love your advice.
Speaker 3: There are certain things about my current boyfriend that literally
Speaker 3: give me the biggest ick.
Speaker 4: Things like his medical anxiety.
Speaker 3: He'll get heartburn and think he's having a heart attack,
Speaker 3: or when he acts super goofy in public, or things
Speaker 3: that are small and trivial, like the shoes he wears.
Speaker 4: It's almost like I look at him being like.
Speaker 3: A big dorky baby, and I'm frankly the complete opposite,
Speaker 3: tough as nails, tattooed, and.
Speaker 4: I ride motorcycles.
Speaker 3: I'm living my best life right now and almost nothing
Speaker 3: can bring me down, whereas he experiences more emotional ups
Speaker 3: and downs. This man is the most loving, caring, supportive,
Speaker 3: intelligent and handsome person I've ever dated. I've never been
Speaker 3: treated so well, So why can't I loosen up and
Speaker 3: look past the more trip?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 2: That is so funny? Do you follow?
Speaker 1: Do you have you ever seen that page, Mikhaela the
Speaker 1: Ick No, but.
Speaker 5: I want to wait his boyfriend.
Speaker 2: It's the Boyfriend X and there's a couple of them.
Speaker 5: Hi, Hi, how are you Lauren? Hi? Lauren?
Speaker 1: I was just talking about this Instagram page called like
Speaker 1: the Ick Factor or the Boyfriend X. There's a few
Speaker 1: of them, and they basically it's like new Ick Unlocked.
Speaker 1: And then they show a guy stepping on a step
Speaker 1: stool and they'll.
Speaker 2: Be like, don't step on step stools.
Speaker 1: And then they'll be like me, They're like a guy
Speaker 1: hailing a taxi and they're like, I liked my boyfriend
Speaker 1: until I saw him hailing a taxi.
Speaker 2: They're like, don't hail taxis. And then it goes.
Speaker 1: It goes all the way and they just keept adding
Speaker 1: X to the list and it goes basically down to
Speaker 1: don't have feet, don't walk, don't bends over. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's so true. Listen, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: I get picked out by we all do. We're women,
Speaker 1: and men are disgusting. They can be so gross. You
Speaker 1: have got to take all of the positive things that
Speaker 1: you said about him and put that front and center
Speaker 1: in your mind. It's almost like playing a trick on yourself.
Speaker 1: If a guy was like a hypochondriac too and thought
Speaker 1: they were having a heart attack and every time they
Speaker 1: had heartburn, That's exactly how I would feel, exactly what
Speaker 1: you're describing.
Speaker 2: But you have to let the good outweigh the bad,
Speaker 2: which it clearly does.
Speaker 1: Otherwise you wouldn't be with him and you wouldn't be
Speaker 1: having these feelings. Not everybody is going to fit into
Speaker 1: every compartment that we want them to fit, And I
Speaker 1: have to have had to learn this lesson multiple times
Speaker 1: in my life, but I speak from experience. You have
Speaker 1: to turn those negatives into a cute little thing, like
Speaker 1: you have to go, oh, isn't that sweet that he's like?
Speaker 1: You know, like you kind of have to you have
Speaker 1: to like play a trick on your mind. If the
Speaker 1: good things do outweigh the bad, which it sounds like
Speaker 1: they do, do they?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, absolutely?
Speaker 7: I think like part of me thinks that this is
Speaker 7: probably the healthiest relationship I've ever really been in. So
Speaker 7: like I have all this time to sit in focus
Speaker 7: on like the really trivial type of ick things that
Speaker 7: because I don't have any like other toxic thing to
Speaker 7: focus on, So it's just like forefront for me, and
Speaker 7: it's like, oh my god, look at the shoes he's wearing,
Speaker 7: you know, like i'd so I do. Over the past
Speaker 7: couple of weeks especially, been trying really hard to kind
Speaker 7: of like, yeah, cutify some of his things, we'll call it,
Speaker 7: you know, trying to be like, all right, well, he
Speaker 7: has all the things that you knew you were looking
Speaker 7: for in a relationship, like the non negotiables, but he
Speaker 7: has these other things that slightly throw you off sometimes,
Speaker 7: so you know, are.
Speaker 5: They really that bad? And to me they're not. I
Speaker 5: just you know, want to make sure.
Speaker 7: I think the biggest one is the one with anxiety,
Speaker 7: because it's something that's hard for me to understand. But
Speaker 7: that's something that I have to work on on my
Speaker 7: own because I need to be more understanding of what
Speaker 7: he's going through in his mindset when that when his
Speaker 7: anxieties do flare up and he's working on it too.
Speaker 7: So so you know the fact that he's even wanting
Speaker 7: to work on it is is sexy.
Speaker 5: That's hot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hot any guy that wants to work on anything.
Speaker 1: And also the shoes, like those are things you can
Speaker 1: weigh in on and fix in a loving way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can say it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, of course you did. Anxiety is a
Speaker 1: little trigger. You can't be like, don't have anxiety, even.
Speaker 2: Though that's an ick. You can't say stop it.
Speaker 1: But yes, you have to educate yourself more about what
Speaker 1: anxiety means. And actually this is a huge opportunity for
Speaker 1: you to grow as a partner and as his lover
Speaker 1: or like you want to be there for him in
Speaker 1: that way. So he has anxiety, he can't control that,
Speaker 1: you know that on an you know, intellectual level, and
Speaker 1: like you'll get there. Like he's got all these other
Speaker 1: things and you have to stay focused on his positive stuff.
Speaker 1: No one is going to deliver to us one hundred
Speaker 1: percent of what we want. It's just impossible to expect that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think someone said to me. I think it
Speaker 7: was my hairstylist who said to me, She's like, you know,
Speaker 7: you really have to like pick your ick, right, And
Speaker 7: that kind of just such a simple way to say it,
Speaker 7: like really resonated with me because you know, I've dated
Speaker 7: a ton of other guys I was on a very
Speaker 7: long term relationship, and all of them had way worse
Speaker 7: issues than my current boyfriend now, and like the icks
Speaker 7: that he has are so, like I said, trivial and
Speaker 7: kind of silly. So it's like I need to be
Speaker 7: like be more accepting of that instead of thinking like
Speaker 7: it's a compatibility thing, because we have really great chemistry.
Speaker 7: We love being together, you know, just sometimes I just cringe.
Speaker 1: But yeah, and also flip your response to it, like
Speaker 1: when he is freaking out or he is having anxiety,
Speaker 1: be really sweet, receptive and fake your reaction to it
Speaker 1: to see if that changes the exchange between the two
Speaker 1: of you and if it exchanges his behavior. Because if
Speaker 1: you're telling, like if you're giving the vibe like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's discussing, sometimes it becomes even louder. So like, try
Speaker 1: and experiment with how you react to him in the
Speaker 1: moments where you are icked out and see, because you know,
Speaker 1: the best way to change someone else is by changing yourself.
Speaker 2: That's always true.
Speaker 7: So yeah, and I think that'll lead me to some
Speaker 7: personal growth too, because of the fact that I do
Speaker 7: have that like very closed off side of me where
Speaker 7: I'm not very outwardly affectionate or like loving, I think
Speaker 7: that maybe that'll help me go like grow in that
Speaker 7: direction too. We're trying to flip it and say, Okay,
Speaker 7: you know, be more nurturing towards it, more accepting towards it,
Speaker 7: and maybe that'll make me a more nurturing person in
Speaker 7: the long.
Speaker 2: Run, I think.
Speaker 6: So, has he given you any thoughts about what he
Speaker 6: would hope to have for you, like what support he
Speaker 6: would need from you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Yeah, So he has told me over the past like
Speaker 7: year and a half that we have been together, that
Speaker 7: I've that I do really help him, like calm down
Speaker 7: when he is having anxiety, like when he's spiraling off
Speaker 7: the edge, because I'm just such a I don't know,
Speaker 7: sometimes I feel like I have no feelings, but you know,
Speaker 7: so he has told me that, and he has told
Speaker 7: me in times where I haven't been as good with
Speaker 7: reacting that like all he wants from me is to
Speaker 7: just say like hey, like check in and say like, hey,
Speaker 7: are you doing okay?
Speaker 5: Like is there anything I can do for you? Which
Speaker 5: I have also tried.
Speaker 7: To, you know, take into my own brain and make
Speaker 7: sure that like I am being cognizant of it. But yeah,
Speaker 7: he has said some things, not too much, but some things.
Speaker 6: Because it sounds like a part of what of part
Speaker 6: of the reason he is attracted to you as well,
Speaker 6: is because of your toughness. Actually, yeah, and so there's
Speaker 6: like a little bit of this, like potentially that that
Speaker 6: might be a little bit of a key to unlock
Speaker 6: how you guys can work through some of those things together.
Speaker 6: If that's the biggest ick, then figuring out like your
Speaker 6: common way to work through it together where you're sort
Speaker 6: of meeting halfway and like Chelsea said, like you can't
Speaker 6: just get rid of anxiety. It's something that you work
Speaker 6: through potentially for a lifetime. But he might be looking
Speaker 6: for you to be like, hey, man, like what do
Speaker 6: you need? Are you doing okay? But like not necessarily
Speaker 6: be like oh.
Speaker 5: My god, come here, like let me like kiss your teek. Yeah,
Speaker 5: Like I can't.
Speaker 9: I can't.
Speaker 5: I can't coddle. I can't coddle anyone.
Speaker 6: You're not gonna be like I am not able to,
Speaker 6: like you'll do a brain book like oh my god,
Speaker 6: like let's just whatever.
Speaker 5: Just But that doesn't seem like he's looking for that
Speaker 5: from you.
Speaker 7: So I think you're right, he's looking for a little
Speaker 7: bit I'm not gonna call it coddling, but like a
Speaker 7: little bit of handholding, a little bit more of me
Speaker 7: being I don't know, nurturing or I don't know what
Speaker 7: to even call it, but you know, just or understanding. Yes,
Speaker 7: like I need to I need to soften up. He
Speaker 7: needs to toughen up, and we can work on that together.
Speaker 3: And it's probably one of the reasons that you're attracted
Speaker 3: to each other is that you are very in touch
Speaker 3: with your feminine side but also your masculine side. And
Speaker 3: it sounds like he's got a little bit more of
Speaker 3: this emotional softness and stuff that we consider, you know,
Speaker 3: a feminine energy.
Speaker 4: And like maybe that's one of the reasons why you
Speaker 4: two work well together.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm with you. I understand what you mean.
Speaker 1: I'm with you on the cuntsiness and the bitchiness. Like
Speaker 1: I don't have a lot of right right, but I've adjusted.
Speaker 2: I have made a lot of adjustments.
Speaker 1: If it's an ick that you can't live with, that's
Speaker 1: one thing, and then you have to state that. But
Speaker 1: if it's an ick that's workable, and that's you know,
Speaker 1: it's not really controllable, which anxiety is not, you can't
Speaker 1: blame anyone for that.
Speaker 2: I think you can soften up and do.
Speaker 1: A little bit work harder on your behalf and you know,
Speaker 1: and then just fix all the other shit that's bothering
Speaker 1: you about him that's materialistic, like his shoes. Always fix
Speaker 1: their shoes. There's nothing wrong with that. There is no
Speaker 1: shame in that.
Speaker 5: Yeah. No, that was one of the first things that
Speaker 5: we did.
Speaker 1: They need help with their clothing, all of it. It's
Speaker 1: like it's almost like they are swimming without arms. You
Speaker 1: have to like look at them like that. So anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you called in. I'm glad I see someone
Speaker 1: very like minded and challenge yourself level up, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. You have to be a little bit
Speaker 1: softer for this relationship. It sounds like the healthiest relationship
Speaker 1: you've been in. You said that yourself, so rise to
Speaker 1: the occasion.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I will do definitely. I appreciate the.
Speaker 1: Advice, No problem, take care, Thanks all right, Thanks bye bye.
Speaker 2: Oh Michaela. You know what makes me so happy, Michaela.
Speaker 1: Whenever I see fixtures of you on vacation, it's just
Speaker 1: so happy making for me to see you taking some
Speaker 1: time to yourself.
Speaker 5: Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2: So I don't think you have a vacation coming up soon.
Speaker 1: I think you're pretty you're getting too ready to hit
Speaker 1: it pretty hard, right.
Speaker 5: Getting ready to go.
Speaker 6: Yeah, this season starts in October, so I'm going to
Speaker 6: Chili in two days for on snow training camp.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 5: So yeah, it's it's building.
Speaker 6: I just walked away from the Olympics and everybody was like,
Speaker 6: I'm going, like I'm done.
Speaker 2: You're like, my god, I'm not quite.
Speaker 5: We're getting started. Here we go.
Speaker 1: Well, I can't wait to see everything that you do
Speaker 1: this season.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see you excel.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for your fiance to get back on
Speaker 1: his feed and fully fully recover. And I know that
Speaker 1: he will because of his strength and fortitude and because
Speaker 1: he's got you by his side. And I think the
Speaker 1: two of you together are an unbeatable couple. And I'm
Speaker 1: just so happy for everything that's happened in your life
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to see you celebrate more of it.
Speaker 5: Thank you. I really appreciate that. Okay, one more.
Speaker 6: I think the first time that you commented on one
Speaker 6: of my Instagram posts, I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: it's Chelsea Handler And also like, wait, do you think
Speaker 6: she's I think I asked my pr Well, I was like,
Speaker 6: is she joking because she thinks her because I was like,
Speaker 6: she's got She's like, you've got the like edgy, like sarcastic,
Speaker 6: like super job, you have all the different senses of humor.
Speaker 6: And I was like, holy shit, is she making fun
Speaker 6: of me or she's serious? And so it's just really
Speaker 6: really cool to have this conversation and like connect and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And I love seeing you skiing and oh yeah it
Speaker 1: makes me happy. Well hopefully we'll get to ski one
Speaker 1: day together. That would be a real highlight. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I love the idea of me trolling athletes though.
Speaker 2: Just going around there.
Speaker 5: I was like, good, yes, this could be a thing.
Speaker 1: It's okay, Well, we won't keep you any longer, MICHAELA,
Speaker 1: have a great have the greatest day.
Speaker 2: We love you.
Speaker 5: Let me be too, Thanks, Bye bye bye.
Speaker 1: Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I
Speaker 1: will be all over. I'm Maine, Charlotte, North Carolina, Charleston,
Speaker 1: South Carolina. I'm coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint
Speaker 1: Louis and Kansas City, and then I will be in
Speaker 1: Las Vegas performing at the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
Speaker 1: My first three dates in Vegas are September first, Labor
Speaker 1: Day weekend, and then November two and November thirtieth.
Speaker 2: I'm coming to.
Speaker 1: Brooklyn, New York, at the King's Theater on November eighth,
Speaker 1: and i have tickets on sale throughout the end of
Speaker 1: the year in December, so if you're in a city
Speaker 1: like Philadelphia or Bethlehem, or San Diego or New Orleans
Speaker 1: or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you'd.
Speaker 3: Like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear
Speaker 3: Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to
Speaker 3: include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
Speaker 3: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure
Speaker 3: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com