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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with bec At Tilly and Tanya rad and

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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio and two time People's Choice Award winning

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Speaker 1: podcast Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. Scrub a dub dub,

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Speaker 1: scrub a dub dub. I haven't seen you in the tub,

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Speaker 1: tub tub. I was gonna say, I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: been gone for weeks and it was just one week. Honestly, No,

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Speaker 1: if you think, if you backtrack it, it really is

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Speaker 1: like we haven't seen each other in two weeks because

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Speaker 1: we need to see each other last Monday, and then

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Speaker 1: before that it was probably the Monday before the weekend before.

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Speaker 1: So it was really like a week and a half.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I haven't done a podcast in

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Speaker 1: like months. Yeah, yeah, but it was just one Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it feels a lot longer. It was a lot longer.

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Speaker 1: What's new? What? What isn't new? Oh? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And enlighten me, enlighten me, inform me, enlighten me is

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Speaker 1: good the word used of the word um. I feel

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Speaker 1: like every day I learned something new, or every day

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Speaker 1: I am invoked in a different way or invigorated in

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Speaker 1: a different way. And I've been really taking some time

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Speaker 1: to be introspective. Is that the right word? Introspective? You're

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Speaker 1: very interesting. I am very introspective, but as of late,

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Speaker 1: as of late, it's been a little bit more and so, um,

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Speaker 1: I've just been very every day kind of leaning into

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Speaker 1: different things. And I went away for the weekend. I

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Speaker 1: put my phone down for a full day, which I

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Speaker 1: have never done before. Really, um, and I kind of

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Speaker 1: liked it. It's the best, Are you kidding? I wish

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Speaker 1: someone would come take my phone because like out in

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Speaker 1: my head I think to myself, I'm gonna put my

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Speaker 1: phone down, and then it's such a habit that I

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Speaker 1: go to pick it up without even realizing that I

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Speaker 1: was supposed to put it down. Yeah, Like I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like I loved I love the social media.

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Speaker 1: I love the community that it's brought into my life.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't find it to be a negative place

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Speaker 1: at all for me personally. Um, So it's not about that,

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Speaker 1: But it's like, I guess I never realized how much

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Speaker 1: time and just like mindless time I spend. No, that's

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I mean sometimes I need it for

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Speaker 1: just like a break, because it can get overwhelming. But

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Speaker 1: I'm with you, like, I mostly enjoy social media and

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Speaker 1: what it brings, but there are times where I just

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Speaker 1: sit there and then I look up and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: how much time has passed that I've just been scrolling aimlessly,

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Speaker 1: not even doing anything productive. So I did it because

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Speaker 1: So I went away this weekend because I just really

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Speaker 1: wanted to gain some clarity, figure out some some things. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And so it was really like an intentional retreat, some

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Speaker 1: may say, and uh, I got a lot of clarity

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Speaker 1: and I feel really good. Um. I mean, Beck obviously

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Speaker 1: knows that I have been entertaining some some thoughts of

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Speaker 1: past people in my life, and so yeah, and so um,

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Speaker 1: I just have been really like slowly just trying to

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Speaker 1: like figure out where I'm at, where my head's at,

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Speaker 1: where my heart's at, and take it. You know. It's

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Speaker 1: almost like when you break up the bone and you

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Speaker 1: need some time to put it in a cast. So

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Speaker 1: it's like in a cast right now, okay, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just sessing it out, letting it do its thing in

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Speaker 1: the cast, and then uh hopefully feel good enough to share. Great.

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Speaker 1: So you're in a place where you're figuring it out,

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Speaker 1: and when you feel like you've figured it out to

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Speaker 1: the point where you want to share, You'll share correct, right,

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Speaker 1: a past team paste just to clarify you are there's

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Speaker 1: someone from your past is come back into your life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just so there was a weird how you said it

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Speaker 1: was could have been confused. Um, that's exciting, I know,

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Speaker 1: but even I was confused by that intro. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: you keeping me afloat on the road. Yeah, on the road,

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Speaker 1: right path, on the right path. Yea. So anyways, and

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Speaker 1: then you were gone. Also I was. We went to

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Speaker 1: Hawaii for Haley's thirtieth birthday. It was so fun. It

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Speaker 1: was It was interesting because you know, it's still pretty

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Speaker 1: like to travel to Hawaii, you have to go through

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Speaker 1: you have to have a negative test. You go, you

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Speaker 1: have your QR code, you sign up for this app

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Speaker 1: to track your health. It's like a lot really. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was great though, because I felt everyone who went

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Speaker 1: had to have the same process. So let's say that though,

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Speaker 1: when they say you need to have a negative test

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Speaker 1: to go on this plane, do you get a test

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Speaker 1: just anywhere around your how they did to do at

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Speaker 1: the airport. No, not at the airport, but they have

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Speaker 1: certain ones. It's a specific test and so then they

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Speaker 1: send your results to the airplane. No, so you get

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Speaker 1: it sent to you, you get a QR code and

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Speaker 1: you have to show the QR codetta. So it was

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's definitely like if you want to go,

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Speaker 1: you have to go through the prop But like I said,

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Speaker 1: I went feeling better knowing that everyone who I was

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Speaker 1: entering the island with had gone through the same thing

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Speaker 1: that I had gone through. UM And then I don't

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Speaker 1: you want to come back? Huh do you want to

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Speaker 1: come back? No? I guess the mainland does not care

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Speaker 1: about it was entering um. But it was great because

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Speaker 1: we went to Lunai, which is a more secluded like

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Speaker 1: it has. It has i think three resorts on the

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Speaker 1: island and then like a market, and that's really it's

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Speaker 1: not like a very it's not like you're going and

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Speaker 1: exploring and there's a lot of tourist attractions. It's like

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Speaker 1: if you're not staying at the resort, there's not a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of reason to go. So it was like

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Speaker 1: we barely saw anyone while we were there. It was awesome.

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Speaker 1: It was beautiful, perfect, It was just like down by

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Speaker 1: the beach. It was sunny and hot and then we'd go.

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Speaker 1: We where we staid was more in like the mountain area,

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Speaker 1: so it was just like gardens and it was it's

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Speaker 1: like a Japanese inspired hotel, so it's just like lush

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Speaker 1: gardens all over. There was like a ranch with horses.

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Speaker 1: It felt like a another country. It was amazing. I

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Speaker 1: did not want to come home, although I missed you.

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Speaker 1: I was like, can I get Phoebe shipped here for

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Speaker 1: like a couple of weeks and then and you would

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Speaker 1: love to have you there. Phoebe. Phoebe, she's concerned because

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Speaker 1: people taking care of Phoebe. So it's like, I feel

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Speaker 1: taking care of me. You're past thing, I guess, all right,

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Speaker 1: But anyway the answers, I'm taking care of myself. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what I meant. Modern woman, that's right, take care

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Speaker 1: of themselves. So but it was a great trip. It

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Speaker 1: was one of those things. But also, you know, I

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Speaker 1: had stuff booked that I had to work on while

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Speaker 1: I was there, so I wasn't really able to just

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Speaker 1: put down my phone and fully go on vacation. But

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Speaker 1: it was so nice and I just felt really freaking

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Speaker 1: grateful that we got to go, and because I feel

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Speaker 1: like traveling is about to be insane here soon, Like

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Speaker 1: now that the vaccines rolling out for everyone and people

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Speaker 1: feel more comfortable traveling again, I think it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a wild summer. I know, I agree with you. And

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Speaker 1: you know what's funny is I had this like because

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Speaker 1: I took a day off work um to go, and

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Speaker 1: I like struggle with this all the time because and

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Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know, because I feel guilty do

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Speaker 1: like taking vacation days when like I shouldn't or when

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Speaker 1: it's out of the norm, and I just feel like

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Speaker 1: I've done it for so long. I just take, you know,

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Speaker 1: vacation what I'm supposed to when you know just what

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to, And I had a really hard time

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Speaker 1: just doing it. And it's so weird because like you

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Speaker 1: not only that, but then also it's like I've been

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Speaker 1: wanting to do this for about a month, but everything

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Speaker 1: kind of it was like, Okay, well, I can't this

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Speaker 1: weekend because I have this work commitment, and then I

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Speaker 1: can't this weekend because I have a friend's birthday, and

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Speaker 1: then I can't again. You kind of keep putting your

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Speaker 1: needs and your wants, you keep kind of pushing them

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Speaker 1: back and I finally was just like, I just I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do it, and so I did it, and so

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Speaker 1: it was like almost like a two tiered like I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I just thought, I feel like I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of taking control role, you know what I mean. Like

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in the driver's seat of my

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Speaker 1: life in this weird way, and I'm making decisions that

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Speaker 1: are best for me and my heart and my head

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Speaker 1: and my health, and I don't know, it feels good.

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Speaker 1: I feel like in the Eastern you can also probably

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Speaker 1: relate to this with Tania, but I do feel like

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Speaker 1: Inhals industry there is this I have to say yes

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Speaker 1: as often as I can to get to where I

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Speaker 1: want to get, and then it's almost like it's become

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Speaker 1: a habit where that's your natural reaction is to say

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Speaker 1: yes to everything, because you're like, well if if I

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Speaker 1: don't do and that someone else could get the opportunity

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Speaker 1: and that could bump them. You know, It's like this

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Speaker 1: mind game, and I feel like you get to a

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Speaker 1: point where finally you feel the power to say no

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Speaker 1: when it doesn't serve you or if you don't really

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Speaker 1: have the capacity physically or mentally to do it. You're

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Speaker 1: able to say no without feeling the level of guilt

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Speaker 1: that sometimes is associated with the word no. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: it's not even like I don't know, it's not I

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Speaker 1: think for sure. The first part of it is like yes,

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Speaker 1: you always want to say yes, yes, yes, but it's

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Speaker 1: almost because you're so like it's from a place of gratitude,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I don't want for granted,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to you for granted. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: of course, like you need to do this, Yes, you

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Speaker 1: need to do that. Yeah, Like even we're going whatever random,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure like you just kind of do it, and

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Speaker 1: I just you just do it for so long that

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Speaker 1: it just kind of does become a habit or second nature,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um, And especially like people in my life,

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Speaker 1: I've always kind of it's easy for me to give

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Speaker 1: so much to other people in my life because I've

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Speaker 1: always it's just been that's just how it is. And

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Speaker 1: I've never really needed to like take time for myself

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Speaker 1: or I've never really needed any of this, do you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so I think I kind

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Speaker 1: of had that realization where I was just like I

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Speaker 1: need I've been trying to do this for a month

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Speaker 1: and so I just didn't time. Yeah, yeah, Mark has

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Speaker 1: joined us. Hello Mark, thank you for having me. No,

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Speaker 1: thank you for joining us. Just to let you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm the one who told Tanya it was time to

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Speaker 1: start the podcast, and that's why she had roughly left

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Speaker 1: the meeting. So I'll take the credit for that. If

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Speaker 1: she's in trouble, it's fine. I I honestly didn't expect

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Speaker 1: you guys to wait for me. You guys gotta do

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Speaker 1: it when you gotta do it. I am a minor

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Speaker 1: cog in this machine. That's not true. That's not true.

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Speaker 1: You know when Becca at Tilly shows up and she's ready, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, it's almost like, you know, when

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Speaker 1: you're in the O R and and back in the

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Speaker 1: day spoiler alert for anybody that hasn't uh the entire thing,

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Speaker 1: But when we still had McK dreamy and he said

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Speaker 1: it's a wonderful day to save lives and then you

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Speaker 1: it's go time, it's almost like when Becca arrives and

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Speaker 1: Becca walks through the doors of my studio here, um,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like, yeah, it's a beautiful day. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: the respect. I didn't really think I had that much.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know I wielded so much power. But I

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Speaker 1: did give it some time to see if the meeting

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Speaker 1: would wrap up, and it wasn't from what I could tell,

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Speaker 1: So I should tick. The clock is ticking. TikTok. You

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Speaker 1: don't stop um speaking of the o R. Since you

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Speaker 1: brought it up, we can we discuss the past two

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Speaker 1: weeks of Gray's anatomy because you weren't here for last

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Speaker 1: week y'all discussed it. Yeah, the lexin which was a

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Speaker 1: great I mean, which also, okay, you are say you

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Speaker 1: were here, but we were saying that Lexi seemed super

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Speaker 1: weird in the episode, where like did she forget like

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Speaker 1: how to be friends with all of them or like

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Speaker 1: something was off. And then all these articles are coming

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Speaker 1: out that she filmed it in front of a green

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Speaker 1: screen with nobody else because she's in Vancouver shooting whatever

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Speaker 1: show she's on. No, because someone else said that it

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Speaker 1: looked like she was shooting on a green screen. I

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Speaker 1: was like, no, I was shocked by that because that

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Speaker 1: technology is amazing. Like, yes, it was a little weird,

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Speaker 1: but it wasn't like she's in a different country weird. No,

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Speaker 1: And if anything. I thought they were just trying to

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Speaker 1: make her come across more like angelic, you know, like

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Speaker 1: a ghostly Yeah, that's what I kept thinking because I

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Speaker 1: was in my head thinking it was a green screen

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Speaker 1: and I was like, no, there's no way. Okay, well

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Speaker 1: that makes a lot more sense because I felt that

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Speaker 1: a little bit too, like she didn't feel like home, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel comfy, didn't feel comfy cozy, and I

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Speaker 1: couldn't figure out why her and Mark weren't touching or like, yeah, weird.

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Speaker 1: But it made me when I saw the articles, I

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Speaker 1: felt very validated as a fan, like something's off and

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Speaker 1: I know that. I'm like, I can't complain, this is

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Speaker 1: a gift. Okay, Well last week was kind of not

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Speaker 1: er whatever. It was kind of a standard issue Gray's Anatomy. Really,

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's just kind of what they do.

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Speaker 1: Like there's a there's an amazing epic episode, and then

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Speaker 1: they take a little nap nap, Like they don't go

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Speaker 1: to sleep, They just like rest a little bit. They

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Speaker 1: let us rest a little bit. Maybe that's what it is.

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Speaker 1: They don't like overwhelm us with too much week week

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Speaker 1: week after week. I feel like the old episodes were

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Speaker 1: like that too, Like you'd get an amazing episode and

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Speaker 1: then the following one would happen and be like, there

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Speaker 1: wasn't anything significant in there. Okay, from season one to

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Speaker 1: season I'd say, like eight, it was back to back

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Speaker 1: hit Okay, ariana grande freaking How many episodes aside from

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Speaker 1: Danny and Izzy and that season? Can you remember significant

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Speaker 1: things happening? The bomb episode, the shooter sequence that wasn't

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Speaker 1: season like six, I'm saying that, Oh well, what season

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Speaker 1: is that? Three? Nope too, season two? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not an encycling Wikipedia over here. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what I'm telling you. What it is that they probably

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Speaker 1: weren't as action packed and remember them being I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna bet everyone thinks, oh, it's not funny. Now.

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Speaker 1: You know what it was funny was when I was

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Speaker 1: in high school. That's what it was really funny. But

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Speaker 1: if you go back and it's about the same batting

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Speaker 1: average as it is today, some are funny, some are not.

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Speaker 1: All I'm saying is and I also feel like during

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Speaker 1: those seasons, we weren't introduced to so many new characters

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Speaker 1: and new storylines where I feel like the more recent seasons,

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Speaker 1: we're bringing in people like Left and Right. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: we're trying to figure out are they do we get

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Speaker 1: attached to them, like are we going to lose them soon?

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Speaker 1: Are they gonna have a significant role? So I do

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Speaker 1: feel like there's a difference. I'm me too. I need

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Speaker 1: them to get out of that. I get that, but

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Speaker 1: it's time. They're making me feel quarantine. It's TV. We

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Speaker 1: can ignore the kids all we want. It happens for

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Speaker 1: seasons upon seasons people never mentioned or see their kids.

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Speaker 1: We can go into that mode with Lincoln Amelia. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna My only thought with that is that

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Speaker 1: Meredith is not going to make a comeback, and they're

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Speaker 1: going to be They're going to be the parental figures

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Speaker 1: for the children, and that's why we're seeing so much

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Speaker 1: of that. I think Meredith is coming back. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think so too. Ellen Pompeo is just laying in a

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Speaker 1: bed or on a beach this whole season. She's literally

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Speaker 1: living the dream and getting paid. How much is she

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Speaker 1: getting paid? A lot of money. It's awesome, It's so awesome. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty pretty. I'm really happy for her. UM give

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Speaker 1: me that. Ellen Pompeo energy. Yeahs a year as she should. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this season was. This season is what she's earned. You know,

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Speaker 1: she's definitely earned the right to lay in a bed

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Speaker 1: and work on the beach with her past co stars. Um,

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Speaker 1: speaking of what what I really should have said is

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Speaker 1: I said Ariana Grande album, would have said Taylor Swift album.

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Speaker 1: Because well, let's let's take a break and come back

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Speaker 1: to that about Um. Yeah, well we'll get back into

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Speaker 1: We'll get into Taylor Swift. If you're one of those

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Speaker 1: listeners who's like, I'm not I don't really love Grace

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Speaker 1: and I'm not really a huge Taylor Swift fan, this

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Speaker 1: episode is no, it's especially for you because we're about

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Speaker 1: to tell you why you need to come come slither

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Speaker 1: on over all, Right, that was a good teaser. We'll

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Speaker 1: be right back, Okay. Um, beyond the obvious of it

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Speaker 1: just being amazing, what do you need to talk about

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Speaker 1: Taylor Swift? I need to pull up the track listing.

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Speaker 1: If you will just stand by for me, just give

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Speaker 1: me one second here, I'm gonna pull it up. There

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Speaker 1: we go, Feeler Fearless Taylor's version down to the bottom

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Speaker 1: from the Vault. Okay, so just the fact that she's

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Speaker 1: re recording all of her albums and having Taylor's version

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Speaker 1: of them and they sound identical to the first ones

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Speaker 1: is everything I need in Like that is the energy

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Speaker 1: that I'm bringing in with me because it's so badass.

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Speaker 1: It's not about the money, it's not about the whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's about the principle and the fact that she now

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Speaker 1: owns them. These are her creation, this is these are

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Speaker 1: her babies. She worked hard for these, and somebody else

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Speaker 1: owned them and thought that they could do whatever they

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Speaker 1: wanted with them. And she is the creator, she is

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Speaker 1: the master, She is the modern woman, and she is

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Speaker 1: saying no, thank you. And how does she entice us

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Speaker 1: to listen to these rerecorded albums when they're essentially the

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Speaker 1: same thing as the original? Well, let me tell you.

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Speaker 1: So what Taylor Swift did to entice those of you

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Speaker 1: who are like, did I need a full album of rerecordings? Actually,

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Speaker 1: yes you did. And what she did is she dropped.

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Speaker 1: Was there five or six six songs that we've never

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Speaker 1: heard before from the vault, some with features as Keith

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Speaker 1: Urban and Marion Morris, and some just by her lonesome.

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Speaker 1: They are from the vault. Let me tell you, Taylor

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Speaker 1: Swift's Vault could have been ripped out of my diary. Wow,

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Speaker 1: these songs are so for freaking good. I can't even

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Speaker 1: tell you which one is your favorite. Hard to say,

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Speaker 1: hard to say, hard to say because she released Mr.

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Speaker 1: Perfectly Fine, which just blew the Internet up because it's

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Speaker 1: about Joe Jonas and the fact that Sophie Turner posted

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Speaker 1: it is everything I needed any more. Um because Mr.

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Speaker 1: Perfectly Fine, I feel like everybody can really the amount

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Speaker 1: of girls that dammed me about that song, I cannot

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Speaker 1: even tell you, it was like crazy. I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's the most relatable song. Every buddy can relate to

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Speaker 1: it on some degree because it's basically about like somebody

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Speaker 1: breaks up with you and then they're just totally fine

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Speaker 1: and you're just in shambles to the worst feeling. They're like,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing worse than feeling heartbroken over someone and having

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Speaker 1: them be like casually, okay, nothing worse. But I'd have

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Speaker 1: to say my favorite is don't You? Okay, that yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't You? And that's when we're my we're my favorites

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Speaker 1: from the vault. Don't You is so good because it's

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Speaker 1: just like that that song that you need. It's like,

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Speaker 1: don't ask me how I'm doing, don't ask me, don't

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Speaker 1: don't you don't you don't you do that to me?

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Speaker 1: It's so good. And spent some time just listening to

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Speaker 1: the vault songs. I mean by Bye Baby. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you're a Michelle Branch fan, but

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Speaker 1: I was a huge Michelle Branch fan back in the day.

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Speaker 1: And the theory behind bye Bye Baby it wasn't the

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Speaker 1: vaulved and she never released it was because people thought

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Speaker 1: it sounded too much or she thought it sounded too

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Speaker 1: much like um, goodbye to you from Michelle Branch. So

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Speaker 1: that's the theory as to why it was kept in

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Speaker 1: the vault. But now it's like Michelle Branch, like nobody

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Speaker 1: really knows who that is anymore except for like stands

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Speaker 1: like me back in the day, and so she can

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Speaker 1: release it because it's so good. But it does sound

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Speaker 1: a little bit like that goodbye to you. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I love a goodbye to you. I'm totally fine with

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Speaker 1: a comparison. On not one. Michelle Branch was like the

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Speaker 1: O G. Taylor, I just need to say though, like

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Speaker 1: I love Fearless album, like it's definitely one of the best,

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Speaker 1: but read well, no, we have speak now, and then

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00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,360
Speaker 1: it's going to be an embarrassment of riches. The only

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Speaker 1: one I think she can't re record for a while

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Speaker 1: is reputation. I think until there's one album she can't

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Speaker 1: record until two well ninety nine, imagine what's in the

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00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:09,120
Speaker 1: vault or nine, because like, so basically what happened is

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Speaker 1: is these are songs that we're supposed to be on

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Speaker 1: those specific albums that she never released. So like these

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Speaker 1: songs that I can relate to at thirty three, Taylor

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Speaker 1: Swift wrote at fourteen, which is quite a pill to swallow.

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Speaker 1: But that's neither here nor there. Like there was one

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00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: that it's called we Were Happy Then. I think she

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00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 1: wrote it when she was fourteen. I was like, yeah,

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00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: I feel that you have the in the best way.

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00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: You have the spirit of a young fourteen year old girl.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, all wrapped into one, into the

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00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: gift that is you. But I'm with you, Like the vault, Yeah,

392
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:50,440
Speaker 1: it's quite the fillest swallow, but I don't care. I'll

393
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,679
Speaker 1: admit it. I'm no shame in my game. Picturing Tony

394
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Speaker 1: and just like in the bath like shower, like crying

395
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 1: and just like really hitting these like these lyrics are

396
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 1: just hitting her. And then she somehow reads an article

397
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,199
Speaker 1: and it's Taylor being like, how it's fourteen and I

398
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 1: just had my first crush, and you know I couldn't

399
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: drive yet, so I just had to go in my room.

400
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 1: And Tony was like, say, I feel I feel at

401
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 1: all too. I feel it all too. But she her

402
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: music translates or trans That's why I'm like, if you're

403
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: not a Taylor sends all ages, Yeah, if you're not

404
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 1: a Taylor Swift fan, then like that's fine, I can't relate.

405
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 1: But when you really peel back the layers, her songs

406
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:39,480
Speaker 1: are more than just music, it's really it's really therapy. Yeah,

407
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know you were going to go with therapy,

408
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: but I do. I was searching for the words. I

409
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: don't think therapy is quite it. But I've always said

410
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: that even if you don't appreciate like the melodies or

411
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 1: the music aspect of what she puts out, if you

412
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Speaker 1: were to go and read the lyrics of her songs,

413
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: I think everyone could be a fan of So, like,

414
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 1: imagine those songs um the Vault of nineteen read in

415
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Speaker 1: nineteen nine, I don't think I'm ready for. I'm definitely

416
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: not ready for. I'm not ready for. And I wasn't

417
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,479
Speaker 1: ready for this, to be honest, because I was like

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00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 1: I was trying to be intentional. I had like all

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Speaker 1: these things planned for the weekend, like I'm gonna do

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00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: this at this day. This is I did not have

421
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: scheduled time to listen to Taylor was from the Fault songs,

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Speaker 1: So like it was, I was really in a pickle

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Speaker 1: because I really was regimented and uh and I was

424
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 1: it was you were set back to your younger self. Yes,

425
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: they are Taylor's younger self, your current self really correct? Correct? Well,

426
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: there's our passionate review on Fearless Taylor's verse. I read

427
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: a whole Twitter throughout the other day about why she's

428
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 1: doing this and how she's doing this and how you

429
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: need certain licensing to use certain songs in certain places,

430
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: like if you want to use it in a movie,

431
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: you need to this kind of license that comes from

432
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,200
Speaker 1: the songwriter and this kind of license that comes from

433
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 1: the owner of the music, and how but she's done

434
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 1: is she's made the who bought her original catalog, She's

435
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: made that investment pretty much completely worthless, which is pretty

436
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: cunning and amazing. I don't know what I don't really

437
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: know what cunning means. So like a shrewd that's another

438
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 1: YEA still don't know, like a harsh, like a cut throat. Okay, okay, okay,

439
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: I can I can get down with that, because here's

440
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: the thing. She's not being cut throat to like bash

441
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: another woman. She's not being cut throat to do ill

442
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: towards you know, an ex girlfriend of Joe Alwyn or

443
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like anything dumb like this

444
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 1: isn't petty. This is her own, are her own creation,

445
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: her own stuff that has been part of my French

446
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: left around with. And she's like, no, I'm taking the

447
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 1: balls in my hands. These are my balls and they

448
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: are going to be in my hands. Now she's holding

449
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 1: her She all she wanted was to hold her own balls.

450
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to hold my own balls. I can't

451
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: hold my own and someone trying to take her own

452
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: balls from her and now she said, these are my balls,

453
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: and oh my god, I can't I can't wait for

454
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: the day that I can take my balls in my hands.

455
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: The track of the metaphor here, but okay, yeah, that

456
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 1: really was. It's also just every time she puts the

457
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: new one out, it's gonna be the biggest thing in

458
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 1: the world and everyone's gonna be talking about it. It's

459
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: gonna be moment after moment after moment, and it's just

460
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: so incredibly smart. Yeah. I mean, we've known that she

461
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 1: is just iconic genius, but this really she continues to

462
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: um up the auntie even compared to herself. Um So,

463
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: someone retweeted this quote the other day and it says

464
00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:00,800
Speaker 1: Denzel Washington, but it's not really Denzel washington Twitter account,

465
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: as I have just discovered because I thought the quote

466
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: was so great, but it says m hm. Start saying

467
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 1: to our kids, you must be so proud of yourself

468
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 1: instead of I'm so proud of you, because they'll grow

469
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: up with self pleasing motivation rather than motivated to only

470
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: please others. Say it one more time, slower, Start saying

471
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: to our kids, you must be so proud of yourself

472
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 1: instead of I'm so proud of you, because they'll grow

473
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: up with self pleasing motivation rather than motivated to only

474
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 1: please others. I never thought that profound so my whole life,

475
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 1: and I mean I have no Like my parents always

476
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: told me they were proud of me. But when I

477
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: hear I'm proud of you, I seek that those words

478
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: for like what I do. I'm seeking someone to say

479
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: that I'm proud of you instead of me being able

480
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: to be like, Wow, that's so cool that I did that.

481
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of myself. I mean, you honestly are

482
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,400
Speaker 1: kind of blowing my mind right now. Well, Denzel Washington

483
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: parody account Blue Motivations, but I will, as the only

484
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 1: one in this room that has um kids, I'm going

485
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: to use that. I think that's great advice. I like

486
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: that you must be so proud of yourself. Yeah, we're

487
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: almost told not to be proud of ourselves. Yeah, Like

488
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 1: if someone said that to me now, I would think

489
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 1: they were like being sarcastic or making like you must

490
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: be so proud of you know, that's a that should

491
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: be something you take pride in. Yeah, I know. Isn't

492
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: that funny? Because Like when I hear that now, I

493
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 1: had the same reaction Like if if someone said that

494
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 1: to me now, like, oh, you must be so proud

495
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: of yourself, I'd be like, are you being rude? To me?

496
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: Like is that sarcasm. But I think if you grow

497
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 1: up hearing that you establish of, yeah, you know, I

498
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: am proud of myself, like take credit for what you've

499
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: done and what you've accomplished, rather than doing it all

500
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: to hear those words of I'm proud of you. I

501
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: know it it really yeah, just because I think a

502
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: lot of just like prophecies in your life right now,

503
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: like prophecies not the right wordphies, triumphancies okay, wow uh,

504
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: And you're really pushing through some walls that you've had

505
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 1: up for a very long time. I think that it's

506
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable to discover things about yourself that have always

507
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 1: been there and that you realize maybe maybe things that

508
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: cause conflict, like in relationships or friendships. It's hard to

509
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 1: like address those things and to acknowledge them and try

510
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: to work on them. Like I get so, I realize

511
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 1: I get so defensive, like an arguments. And I've never

512
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: even considered myself defensive because I normally would rather have

513
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: peace than conflict. So I normally feel like I backed down,

514
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: But I realize I get very defensive if someone doesn't

515
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: think the same way as me. So majority of my

516
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: friends think similarly to me. So they're not. I think

517
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: you I handle you differently than my other friends because

518
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: you're more sensitive. I'm gonna say, you handle me quite nice,

519
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: like a little like a little boiled egg. But the

520
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,719
Speaker 1: rest of my friends are very sarcastic, and like, you know,

521
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: we have like a dialogue that would probably hurt other

522
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 1: people's feelings, but it's just like our it's our love language.

523
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: But I think with you, and then also with Haley,

524
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: I have to be I realized, I can't get defensive,

525
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: like if something hurts you, and same with Haley, if

526
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: something hurts her. I have to validate the hurt that

527
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: I cause, like even if I didn't see it as

528
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: something hurtful, like validating that it caused pain and be

529
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: able to simply say, like I'm really sorry I did that,

530
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: and like acknowledge it without feeling like emotionally defensive right

531
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 1: off the bat, because that's what I do. Well. I

532
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 1: think a lot of people do that, you know what

533
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: I mean, And I think, but it's really annoying having

534
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,479
Speaker 1: to work through it and to like try and change

535
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: the way of thinking. So I'm trying to, like with

536
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: therapy and everything, like not overly change who I am,

537
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: to please others because that's my natural instinct. But to

538
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: acknowledge areas where I could be better, to where I

539
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: can have better relationships and communication. Girl, let me tell

540
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: you who's been doing some work on herself. And that's

541
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 1: a little miss thing over here. Yeah and you okay,

542
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 1: you weren't here last week, but um we had Amy

543
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: Channon who wrote the book Breakup boot Camp and is

544
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: like does that break Up boot Camp? And we touched

545
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: on this thing it's called I think I told you

546
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: about attachment styles. When I discovered my attachment style and

547
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 1: like really started like digging into that and like kind

548
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: of doing some work and like really figuring out where

549
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: it was coming from and how I let that affect

550
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,960
Speaker 1: relationships in my life. I felt like I had opened

551
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: the key to Matchbox twenty. Like it. Yeah, I felt

552
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: like it's like it was like I opened this whole

553
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 1: new world of understanding that I was always so it

554
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: just it just was how I was. I didn't even

555
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: really think about it, and so we talked a little bit. Actually,

556
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna um suggest that we have somebody on to

557
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: kind of dive into attachments, to the attachment styles and

558
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 1: just kind of because my biggest question was I don't

559
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: want to be anxiously attached, Like that's not what I

560
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: want at all. Can you become securely attached? And the answers, yes,

561
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: it's not easy. I mean it requires like working on yourself,

562
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 1: but like you can. And so that's kind of the

563
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: process that I'm in right now. But it's so interesting

564
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: because I think you're avoidant attached. I mean put words

565
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: in your mouth, but like I'm just gonna do it

566
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: for now, just for just for purposes for the class.

567
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: What are the other what are the attachment styles? It's

568
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: securely attached, which is obviously like what you want to

569
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: be securely attached, and that's the majority of people are

570
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: securely attached. Yeah, it's a lot of Yeah, it's blocking more.

571
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: I know, I kept trying to move it. But um,

572
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: so people are securely attached, and then the other right, yeah,

573
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: that makes um are anxious attached. And then the other

574
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: twenty five are avoidant attached. And so I thought there

575
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: were four. There's three avoidant attachments and anxious attachments like

576
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 1: they're kind of good together. They like, yeah, I know,

577
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: but how because avoidant avoidant attachment would mean that you

578
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,160
Speaker 1: are an avoid er, so you avoid what conflict and

579
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,959
Speaker 1: then if the person is anxiously attached, they like are

580
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: grasping for any security, right, Yeah, but it's it's interesting.

581
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,479
Speaker 1: I don't know mutch about avoidant attachment because I am

582
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 1: not that I'm really just doing a deep dive into

583
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: how I can fix myself at this point. But yeah,

584
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: but I want to be interesting to talk to somebody

585
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: that's like really knows what they're talking, like what they're

586
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: talking about, because I just find it, uh, like I'm

587
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: gonna give you an example of something, um like when

588
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 1: I when you, when I text you and I don't

589
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: hear back from you. It's different in romantic relationships because

590
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: your mind goes elsewhere in romantic relationships, but even still

591
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: in my friendships, I get like, I'm like, why isn't

592
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: she responding to me? Like what is she doing? Da?

593
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: Da da? I don't It's like I think you're cheating

594
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: on me or whatever. But like if you're super anxiously attached,

595
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 1: like that's kind of where your mind goes. Is she

596
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: mad at me? Did I do something? Did I not

597
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: respond to something? Checking my emails? Like you know, things

598
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: like that, And in reality, it's just you're like whatever

599
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 1: you saw you put your phone down, like drinking your

600
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 1: coffer or whatever, do you know what I mean? Like,

601
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: it's not that's not what it is. And so there's

602
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: obviously different severities of it. And I think because a

603
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: lot of it stems from your childhood and mine actually

604
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: wasn't stemming from my childhood mind stemmed from uh, the

605
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,479
Speaker 1: breakup that I had ten years ago, and just how

606
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: knee jerk and how kind of traumatic it's basically caused

607
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: from like traumatic experiences. And so it's very interesting. Well

608
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: because your breakup ten years ago, you thought everything was great, right,

609
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: and it came out of nowhere when we broke up

610
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: with you. So it's almost like, um, you're kind of

611
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 1: always on the edge of your seat. You're just like planning.

612
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: You're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even if

613
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 1: things are going really great, you're like almost like waiting

614
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 1: for that in the minute something doesn't go, something rocks

615
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: the boat. It's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not impossible. Though,

616
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 1: it's not impossible, especially because mine's not so like deep

617
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 1: rooted from childhood. So I can and there's things that

618
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 1: I can work through and work on, which I'm doing,

619
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 1: but it's it's so fascinating. I almost think that the

620
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: avoiding avoid avoidment attachment. Avoidant avoidant attachment would be that

621
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,280
Speaker 1: you either go one or two ways when something traumatic

622
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: like that happens, where you go, I'm anxious about them

623
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 1: leaving me, or you turn your emotions so far off

624
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: that you're like, I have a wall up so no

625
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: one can hurt me. Yep. Yeah, but I also think

626
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: that you can. I think you can kind of bounce too,

627
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: because I think for many years I was avoidant attachment.

628
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: So I was dating guys that lived in New York,

629
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 1: dating guys that lived in Texas, dating guys that lived

630
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: in Chicago because I could have the avoidant attachment there.

631
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: I couldn't really get attached because I knew that they

632
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,720
Speaker 1: physically couldn't be here. And then and then it switched,

633
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: not just like switched. I'm very curious about where I

634
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 1: land on. That sounds like if you're securely attached, to

635
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: have the rug pulled out from under, you go one

636
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,360
Speaker 1: of three directors, you know, the anxious direction or the

637
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: avoidant direction. Yep. I'm very secure in the relationship that

638
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm in, but is a little more on the anxious

639
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 1: attachment side, it's a lot to deal with. Really, you

640
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: and I got just over here trying to stay strong

641
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 1: and but being aware of it is something that's really powerful,

642
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: because I think that's the biggest step is like, you know,

643
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 1: I think, and I think I can speak for everybody.

644
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 1: Everybody thinks their way of living is the right way.

645
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: Their way of thinking is the right way, the way

646
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: that they do what they're doing is the right We

647
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,080
Speaker 1: all that's just because how we're living our lives. So

648
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: it's like that's how we think it's the right way

649
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: to deal or do things. And then when you are

650
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: really in relationships, you realize that there are various different

651
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: ways to do things, and different people approach things in

652
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 1: different ways because of how they were raised or their

653
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 1: past relationships and things like that, and it doesn't make

654
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: it wrong, and it just isn't the way that you do.

655
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: So it's almost like you kind of have to realize

656
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: all of these things instead of trying to force somebody

657
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 1: to be something that they're not. Yeah, that's what I

658
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: working on. It's just acknowledging that my way doesn't always

659
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: have to be the right way, even though it is.

660
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: Nine of the time. The other option is that maybe

661
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: it's so hard. I'm serious, it's so hard for me

662
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: to go Okay, maybe the way that I'm thinking about

663
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 1: this isn't the only way or the only right way.

664
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 1: It's tough. Yeah, I'm telling you. Yeah, So you actually

665
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 1: never got back to me and sent you a text.

666
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: The other day, I was doing, um most serious. I

667
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,319
Speaker 1: felt this was a joke. This is serious. I asked you.

668
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm doing a lot of self help. Okay,

669
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: that was like the busies. Are you talking about the

670
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 1: thing you asked me to write? And that was literally

671
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 1: the busiest week ever there was just I wanted to

672
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: be thoughtful in my answer and I just to be honest.

673
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: I forgot about when I went to Hawaii, but I haven't.

674
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 1: I will do it. I'm not like putting it off

675
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: in that way. She asked me to send a time.

676
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,640
Speaker 1: Can I talk about it? Where she was at? Was

677
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: it at your best or happiest? Where I was thriving, thriving,

678
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,759
Speaker 1: And I was really like, I went back in my head.

679
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: But I'm in the process of buying a home. I'm

680
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:15,720
Speaker 1: in the process. I was in the process of planning

681
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 1: a thirtieth birthday party and a trip within like the

682
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: last minutes, and Tania sends me a text asking for

683
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: a paragraph about when I thought she was at her

684
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: happiest because she's doing a self help book, so like

685
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:32,240
Speaker 1: it wasn't. I read it and I was like, Okay,

686
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 1: I can do this, Like I have a lot of memory,

687
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 1: you know, I have a lot of times where I've

688
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: been with Tania. But then I was like, I mean,

689
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: I was like, do you need it right now? You're

690
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, no rush, But well I do.

691
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: I wanted a thoughtful response, yeah, because it's like they

692
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: basically the bottom line is is asking multiple people for

693
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,239
Speaker 1: this this answer and kind of comparing all of their

694
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: answers and looking back into that time and really finding

695
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 1: kind of how you were living life in that way,

696
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: Like what's changed? Who was surrounding? What were you doing?

697
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: How are you spending your free time? Were you working out?

698
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: Were you eating right? Were you partying more? Were you

699
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like were you working a lot?

700
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 1: Were you not working so much? Were you taking vacation?

701
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: Like it's like analyzing all of those I've only known

702
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,799
Speaker 1: you to eat healthy, workout, have a routine, work, like

703
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: that's how I know you. So it's hard to like

704
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 1: specifically go back, but I think there are certain times

705
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: where I can pinpoint like specific moments and maybe they

706
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,200
Speaker 1: all line up and they were in the same time. Yeah,

707
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 1: you know. Uh it's funny. Also, it was funny getting

708
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: back some people's responses because some uh Brad actually said,

709
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: right after we won our first People's Choice award, he

710
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 1: was like you to or like around especially specifically like

711
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:49,720
Speaker 1: that month or whatever. He was like you, I felt

712
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: like you were like unstoppable, like you were on a mission.

713
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 1: You were like going, like you were just like living

714
00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: life and thriving. And then another person responded and said, um,

715
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: in between, uh, I can't remember his name, what his

716
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 1: nickname was Chicago screen Time, doctor screen Time, or don't

717
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: even know what we called him here, doctor screen Time. No,

718
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: the other one was Senior Butterfly. Yeah, doctor screen Time

719
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: and senior a Butterfly. The time in between those two guys,

720
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: oh in between, those are separate. Okay, so now I'm confused.

721
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 1: No Butterfly was yeah, and then what was not what's

722
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: his name? Wasn't doctor screen time on the podcast? You know?

723
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: What was he? Doctor FaceTime? Mr FaceTime. No, what was

724
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,280
Speaker 1: he on? The very confusing and the reason it's confusing

725
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 1: in case people that know it's because Seacrest calls them

726
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 1: one thing and we called him something. It's very confusing.

727
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,720
Speaker 1: And I don't remember, my gosh, what was his name?

728
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: It was something FaceTime, wasn't it? Anyways? It was the

729
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: guy that I was FaceTime dating for like two months

730
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 1: and then he ended up coming and staying with me

731
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: for like five days and then like never spoke to

732
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 1: him again. Um, but learned a lot through that, you know, truly,

733
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: So it was maybe to that time. It was like

734
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 1: two months in between him and Senor Butterfly, and so

735
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 1: it was just like kind of funny getting people's responses

736
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 1: and really kind of looking at those moments in my life. Yeah,

737
00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: it's an interesting exercise. I I encourage everybody listening to

738
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 1: try it. Um. It's from the book Think like a

739
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: monk or yeah, I think like a monk um. And Yeah,

740
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: it's been insightful for sure. Yeah, that's interesting. I'd be

741
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 1: curious to see what people said, because like, I have

742
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 1: moments in my life where I think I was at

743
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: my happiest. But I'd be interested to see if that

744
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,919
Speaker 1: was outwardly shown, we should do that on the morning show.

745
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: We should ask Ryan and Sistan and Patty what they think. Yeah,

746
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: it's it's it is interesting, you know, and it's like

747
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: because it felt like homework. But my excuse was it

748
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,399
Speaker 1: was sent in a group text, but I didn't feel

749
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: obligated to do it. Yeah, well, because you're supposed to

750
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:57,760
Speaker 1: have a variety of like it says to ask coworkers, friends, family,

751
00:41:58,040 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 1: and so I sent it, yeah, in the group chat.

752
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 1: Look at that Mark. I was like, it wasn't a

753
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: lengthy paragraph. It wasn't short. No, but I will get

754
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: to that and it will be worth the time that

755
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: it has taken. Would you like me to do it

756
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: for you? No? I mean no self help for beck

757
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 1: I got a lot of that. Guy is just coasted

758
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: right now. Like a love story fiction book from like

759
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: this author that everyone recommended, And it was so nice

760
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: to read something where I wasn't having like revelations about

761
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: myself because I've been reading so much like self help

762
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 1: and motivation and these eye opening self reflecting words being

763
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,320
Speaker 1: like read and then I just read this love story

764
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: that was just made up characters, and I was like,

765
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,959
Speaker 1: it wasn't nice like I did know. I just read it.

766
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 1: It was an entertainment and I'm done. I don't have

767
00:42:56,120 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 1: to do anythinking about, no journaling, no ling, Like what

768
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah, not all of us. I love a homework.

769
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 1: I feel like Tanya was like asking the teacher for

770
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: more homework exactly the summer. Yeah, I finished everything then

771
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: in class? Is there anything I need I can do

772
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,000
Speaker 1: at home? How can I improve over this? Are if

773
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: we're not if we're not constantly if we're not constantly improving, growing, growing, strengthening, learning, listening, accepting, growing, growing,

774
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: Tanya two point I was gonna look at Tanya ten

775
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,799
Speaker 1: point I'll be like, wow, I'm so happy I did

776
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: all that journey right now. Well, so I just did

777
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 1: Tanya four point oh. So next time I'm gonna be

778
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: Tanya five point oh. When is is it just like

779
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 1: when you feel the shift? No, I'm definitely on the

780
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: journey right now October roughly. No, it's it's it's it's

781
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,839
Speaker 1: roughing to be a little more than annually, like a

782
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: little bit a little bit more time than that. But yeah,

783
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: I'd say it's pacing quite nicely to be Tanya five

784
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,919
Speaker 1: point oh. In the next probably six months. For sure.

785
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to get two in the weeds on

786
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 1: the technical stuff, but like going from four to five

787
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: point I was pretty substantial in the software world, like

788
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: a four point two four point three, you know, maybe

789
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 1: a minor upgrade, maybe I could do that. I definitely

790
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: think I'm I'm getting there. Retreat, the retreat, I think

791
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 1: bumps you up a tense Oh yeah, definitely, I definitely

792
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 1: And maybe it's more to be sooner than that. Maybe

793
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, Tania, five point I will be here

794
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: in the next three months. Wow, we were not ready.

795
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 1: A hot girl summer if you know what I'm saying,

796
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: um right with April, May, June, July. Yeah, hot girl summer. Um.

797
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,919
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means entirely, it just sounded good,

798
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: hot girl summer. Yeah, it will be a hot girl

799
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: and it'll be summer. So and you'll be five point

800
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: Oh is my favorite number? Five? Um. I looked at

801
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 1: our emails going into today and they are tough thoughts.

802
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: I also have some thoughts, but they were like the

803
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 1: first one is pretty heartbreaking, So I think we should

804
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: we take a break and then come back. Yeah, all right,

805
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:31,879
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. All right, we are back mark.

806
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: Do you want to read the first email from anonymous?

807
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 1: She says, I was with my boyfriend for eight years

808
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 1: before we got engaged, right before the COVID shutdown. When

809
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: we initially told our families, people seemed happy. I'm not

810
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,360
Speaker 1: overly excited, but happy. I chalked it up to COVID

811
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,320
Speaker 1: and let it go. Two months after, my youngest sister

812
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: also got engaged. I have never seen one family so

813
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: excited over any event. My feelings were super hurt because

814
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 1: it made it seem like my family cared more about

815
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: my sister than they did me. My sister decided to

816
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 1: plan her wedding to be at our parents house. My

817
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: fiance and I secured and paid for a venue. Our

818
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: wedding date ended up being two weeks before my sister's.

819
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:12,839
Speaker 1: My mom and sister lost their minds and were so

820
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: angry with me, so my fiance and I buckled spent

821
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 1: extra money to change the date. Now, my older sister

822
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: got engaged to she too, is getting married at my

823
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 1: parents house four days before my wedding. Everyone lost their

824
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: minds on my wedding with two weeks before my sister's,

825
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: but nobody cares that my older sister's wedding is four

826
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,799
Speaker 1: days before mine. We said the heck with it. We

827
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: canceled our wedding. We lost thousands in the process. Now

828
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: a single person in either of our families cares at

829
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 1: all that we were or are upset, or that we've canceled.

830
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:48,279
Speaker 1: I'm so angry. I'm just really hurt. Every time I

831
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: think about a wedding, I break down in tears. I

832
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: even had a mute the scrubbing in wedding page because

833
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: it was too much. How do I get past this?

834
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 1: This made me so sad. I mean, I have I

835
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 1: have siblings, and so I think I think I can

836
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,799
Speaker 1: relate to this happening, like if my sisters if I

837
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,839
Speaker 1: was if I was her and I got engaged, and

838
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 1: the only thing I can think of, which shouldn't change anything,

839
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: was that they've been together for so long that there

840
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:23,720
Speaker 1: or like maybe her family doesn't love the guy and

841
00:47:23,800 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 1: they're not like super excited about being officially official. You know,

842
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 1: I honestly felt this. I feel like we're missing something.

843
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: This this email doesn't make sense to me, because if

844
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: my family treated me like this, I'd just be like,

845
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 1: I don't want any of you here, and I just

846
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 1: have my wedding with like my friends and like have fun.

847
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 1: I know, but that's so hard. I mean, like you

848
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 1: think that you know, like who you're chosen, family is

849
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: your friends, but you still it's such a significant day,

850
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: Like you want your family to be a part of it.

851
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 1: You want them to be excited about it. So but

852
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 1: I feel like there's nothing we can I feel like

853
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: we're just there's something that's not that that we're miss

854
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: thing because it's like if the family doesn't like the fiance,

855
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,359
Speaker 1: then I feel like my we can give some advice there.

856
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:08,920
Speaker 1: I think it's got to be right, that's got to

857
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 1: be a part of this. Yeah, if it's not if

858
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: they love your or don't. I mean sometimes people just

859
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 1: don't love who their kids are doing. I mean it's

860
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: very normal that your parents might not love who you're dating.

861
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,320
Speaker 1: But she's been with him for eight years, so there

862
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: they know him. It's not like he's some new guy.

863
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: Does he have three kids of his own and the

864
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 1: parents wanted her to have her own families or an

865
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:37,400
Speaker 1: excellent it's not their life that I understanding excuses for them.

866
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering what the rest of the story is

867
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: yeah missing. The only thing that would make sense to

868
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 1: me is if he had cheated or did something that

869
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: they did not think that he deserved her because he

870
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: had hurt her or done something that was like not

871
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: loyal or whatever. Aside from that, there's no excuse in

872
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: my opinion, for this family acting this way. It's so hurtful,

873
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,439
Speaker 1: in my opinion, to think about dating someone for eight

874
00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: years and you finally get engaged and you're going to

875
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: plan a wedding and they respond not excited, and then

876
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 1: you watch them be so excited about your other sister's weddings.

877
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 1: I'd be I'd be crushed. And I think you got

878
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: to talk, don't you don't you have to sit your

879
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: parents down and say, Okay, look, this is how you're

880
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 1: making me feel. Well. I guess you don't phrase it

881
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: that way, right, this is how I feel and talk

882
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 1: it out like if there's an underlying issue, it's got

883
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 1: to come up at some point. And maybe it's not great,

884
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 1: but I feel like you've got to have that conversation. Yeah,

885
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: but it's like I wish that the parents would have

886
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 1: had it like with her before they got engaged, and

887
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 1: like they're so far in it at this point, you know, well,

888
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Those conversations, regardless of who they're coming from,

889
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 1: are so they're not fun. It's not anything you want

890
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:58,399
Speaker 1: to do. Have to sit down with people you love,

891
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 1: and your parents is especially and tell them that they

892
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 1: hurry you like, that's it's horrible. And I think that

893
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,319
Speaker 1: it's necessary. And I think that you will live with

894
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:13,879
Speaker 1: resentment and bitterness that won't even affect them, and it's

895
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: it's only going to affect you. Um, And every time

896
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: you think about a wedding, you break down because not

897
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: only do you think about not having your wedding, you

898
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: think about the hurt that your family calls that they

899
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 1: may not even know about. So I think you sit

900
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,399
Speaker 1: down with your parents and then I think you sit

901
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:33,440
Speaker 1: down with each sister individually and just express how you're feeling,

902
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 1: because I think you have every right to feel the

903
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: way that you're feeling. And if there's something we're missing,

904
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: then there's something we're missing. We're just going off of

905
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: the email that we have, but it hurt me. I

906
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: like feel sad for her, yeah do two. I mean

907
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: the silver lining is that you seem to really like

908
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 1: your fiance he seems really cool. I mean, he's been

909
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: even with him eight years, so if I can assume

910
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 1: he's solid and committed and and your teammate and your

911
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: partner and so um. I don't know there's silver lining

912
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: in it, but yeah, I mean i'd be devastated. I'd

913
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,799
Speaker 1: be really sad. I think the only way you'll have

914
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:21,239
Speaker 1: any uh relief from this hurt is by having the

915
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: conversation and letting them know how you have felt during

916
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: this process, because, like I said, I think anyone in

917
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,920
Speaker 1: your position would feel the way that you're feeling. All right,

918
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,360
Speaker 1: This is from Mariana. Right before Christmas, a guy I

919
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,400
Speaker 1: grew up with from my hometown reached out to me

920
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: and asked me out. He lives and works about three

921
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:40,839
Speaker 1: hours away from me, but it's been coming back home

922
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: every single weekend because all of his friends to live

923
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 1: in our hometown is do I. However, when we went

924
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: back to work after the holidays, his job shifted and

925
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 1: he now works six or seven days a week and

926
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: can no longer come home for the foreseeable future. We

927
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 1: decided to put the romance on hold and just be

928
00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 1: friends for now, but I can't stop thinking about him.

929
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 1: I keep thinking about timing and how the wasn't meant

930
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:02,879
Speaker 1: to be, he wouldn't have reached out when he did.

931
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 1: We still talk every day on a couple of texts, though,

932
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 1: but he stopped being flirty with me almost immediately when

933
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,279
Speaker 1: we called it off. So I can't figure out if

934
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 1: he's still romantically interested or not. What should I do?

935
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: Should I tell him how I feel or wait it out?

936
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. This feels like a Tanya type of like

937
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,359
Speaker 1: this would be how you reacted with the timing being right,

938
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: So maybe you'd take the lead on this one. Um Okay,

939
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you advice that's not going to come

940
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 1: from any book, because I guarantee you the books uh

941
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: are going to tell you to stop talking to him,

942
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 1: or stop engaging, cut off all communication. You know, men

943
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 1: love bitches, all that kind of stuff. Um, So I'm

944
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 1: gonna give you the Tanya advice, which is follow what

945
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: your heart saying. If you really like this guy and

946
00:52:54,280 --> 00:53:01,319
Speaker 1: you feel like there's something special there just because there's distance,

947
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 1: if you're really missing him and you're still talking to

948
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,879
Speaker 1: him every day, then like what's the point, Like why

949
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: are you not together? You know? I think sometimes relationships.

950
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 1: Some things don't always come easy and they require a

951
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: lot of extra communication. And it's something that I mean, clearly,

952
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: you feel so strongly about him, and if he feels

953
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: the same way, and you just have to work a

954
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:27,080
Speaker 1: little bit harder than you try, you know, I think

955
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 1: it's really hard. I think everybody always the quick advice

956
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 1: is like there's a lot of fish out there, and

957
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 1: you know, get back out there. But it's like, when

958
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 1: you have a strong connection with somebody, you try, try

959
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 1: and try again. So I say, tell him how you feel.

960
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: If you really is not on the same page, then

961
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: I think at that point you do have to cut

962
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 1: off communication because talking to him every single day is

963
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,120
Speaker 1: not going to allow you to move forward. So I

964
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: think you have the conversation he feels the same way,

965
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:56,240
Speaker 1: you guys can kind of work on communicating and figuring

966
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:58,759
Speaker 1: it out. And if he doesn't, then you do kind

967
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 1: of you do have to go cold turkey a little bit.

968
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,480
Speaker 1: But nothing good happens in the gray area. Let me

969
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 1: tell you, I agree with having a conversation. That's about it.

970
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 1: You do with anything else. Because she said that he

971
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 1: stopped as soon as they cut it off, he stopped flirting.

972
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 1: I think he's like either found someone else and my

973
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 1: my advice as always, if he wanted to, he would.

974
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 1: I agree with Tanya, and you do because tell you

975
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 1: can agree that if he wanted to, he would. Yeah.

976
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,280
Speaker 1: But I think he stopped being flirty out of respect.

977
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,640
Speaker 1: I think if they called it off together, if they

978
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 1: no one is like that anymore. Guys are not just

979
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 1: cutting it off because of respect. Not that. No, that's

980
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:47,479
Speaker 1: not true. There are some unicorns out there call it off,

981
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: and I think he's respecting that. I like this guy.

982
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: I feel good about him for Arihana. I think this

983
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,839
Speaker 1: is going to be great. When she tells him how

984
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: she feels, he's going to feel the same way. Now

985
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 1: logistics where it goes from there. He lives three hours away,

986
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: works scept this week. I don't know, but I think

987
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 1: there's no downside and telling him because if he doesn't

988
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: feel the same way, you move on, right, Okay, so

989
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,160
Speaker 1: we all can agree. What she needs to do is

990
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: have a conversation and express her feelings how she where

991
00:55:13,239 --> 00:55:18,840
Speaker 1: she's at. Ok Yeah, I think so. No, I do too.

992
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 1: I mean I think she unless she has that conversation,

993
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:25,720
Speaker 1: she won't have an answer and answer is always good yes,

994
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:30,840
Speaker 1: because regardless of the answer, you're able to move from there. Correct.

995
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 1: Nothing good happens in the gray area. Mark, he's so nice,

996
00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: he's respecting her. That's why he stopped. I think beause

997
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,399
Speaker 1: guys are just like that when they like someone. They

998
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:43,680
Speaker 1: just stopped. They just were like, I'm going to respect

999
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 1: you and I'm going to text you, but I'm not

1000
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: gonna be flirting. They try. I think that they try.

1001
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:49,959
Speaker 1: I think the good ones try. Good one. I'm telling

1002
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:55,480
Speaker 1: you this alright, Well, I mean I think this is

1003
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:57,879
Speaker 1: where we want to be right now. No, I'd rather

1004
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: him either just stop texting your period or say like

1005
00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: communicate his feelings to her, say like, hey, I'm I'm

1006
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: I enjoyed hanging out with you. I'm so bummed that

1007
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 1: we don't get to do that anymore. I have to

1008
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,440
Speaker 1: focus on work, so I don't think romantically I can

1009
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 1: be as involved as I was hoping to be. Or

1010
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:20,000
Speaker 1: he says, I really want to make this work and

1011
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,080
Speaker 1: we might not be able to talk as much, but

1012
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: we can do as much as I can give right now,

1013
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: if you are okay with that. Yeah, And I just

1014
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: think sometimes men because I know so much about men,

1015
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,439
Speaker 1: but the guy. I'm just gonna speak for the good ones,

1016
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 1: because the bad ones I don't care about. No offense.

1017
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: If anyone's listening, doubt many men are um um. I

1018
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:48,840
Speaker 1: think that sometimes then I don't want say, take the

1019
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 1: easy way out, but feel overwhelmed. They feel like, you

1020
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: know that they'll have a bit more clarity if they

1021
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 1: try and figure out if he's like, I have to

1022
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: focus on work, blah blah blah. He's like thinking he's

1023
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 1: doing the noble and the right thing, and then he

1024
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:04,440
Speaker 1: realizes that like he misses her and that he really

1025
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 1: is making a mistake. He hears how she feels. He's like,

1026
00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 1: all right, it's time to strig it off the pot.

1027
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:13,560
Speaker 1: He's thinking the same thing. He's not sure how to

1028
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: play this either, mhm, but he wants to be with her.

1029
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 1: This is a romantic fan fiction you'll have created. I'm

1030
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: just kidding for already honest sake. I hope that he

1031
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: is amazing and that he's being respectful, and I think

1032
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:31,280
Speaker 1: that her having a conversation with him will only empower

1033
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 1: her and make her better in this situation. I'm glad.

1034
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: I'm happy about our advice because I feel like she's

1035
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 1: probably getting She's probably good, Like I've done the same.

1036
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: I'm googled. What do you do when this guy says

1037
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 1: this and here and Google tells you, let me tell you.

1038
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: Google tells you don't, do not talk to him, do

1039
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 1: not communicate, don't And it's like, okay, So then I'm

1040
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 1: just gonna like, my heart's telling me to do something,

1041
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: but Google is telling me something else. So I'm gonna

1042
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 1: go Google because clearly my heart is not getting me

1043
00:58:02,560 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: in the right place. And then it just like really

1044
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 1: messes with you. I think the key yourself we can

1045
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 1: all agree on. I imagine it is communication because all

1046
00:58:13,160 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 1: they have is communication right now because they can't even

1047
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: see each other. So her being able to say, like,

1048
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: this is where I'm at, this is how I feel.

1049
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 1: Do you feel the same way? Or is this not working?

1050
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 1: Because then she's able to shut that door, maybe keep

1051
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 1: it propped open if he moves back, but shut it

1052
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 1: and move on without having to wonder about it. So

1053
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:36,600
Speaker 1: she can like she can like shut the door, but

1054
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 1: she's not to lock it and then put the Jimmy

1055
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:42,080
Speaker 1: rig on it and then the slide over lock and

1056
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 1: you know, like those guys where you just just like

1057
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:47,600
Speaker 1: stuff the towel under the breezeway so that no air

1058
00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:49,520
Speaker 1: can even get in. You're just like that door is

1059
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: shut and sealed and done. She didn't need to do

1060
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 1: she didn't need to do all that, she can just

1061
00:58:54,720 --> 00:59:00,680
Speaker 1: shut it gently. Alright, cool, I thought all around, great advice.

1062
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 1: Maybe lead the key under the map for him? Mm

1063
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 1: hm oh yeah, all right. And you know, when it's

1064
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 1: really hard, like the beginning of my relationship was really hard,

1065
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 1: and it was basically long distance for the first like

1066
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 1: six months, and the easiest thing would have been to

1067
00:59:19,880 --> 00:59:24,439
Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, distance, like when are we really

1068
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: going to see each other? But we wanted to, so

1069
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: we made it happen. Both know, But you also have

1070
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 1: to you have to think your job at the time

1071
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 1: was very lenient in terms of your schedule, Like you

1072
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 1: could go I know, but that's what I'm saying. One

1073
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 1: of you had a little bit of of leeway in

1074
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 1: your in your job that you could travel more to

1075
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:50,520
Speaker 1: see I don't, That's what I'm saying. She might not

1076
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 1: have that. Like, so where they're both kind of land

1077
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:56,439
Speaker 1: locked into like their jobs really require them to stay

1078
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: put where they are, and they don't have the flexibility

1079
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 1: to make it work, you know what I'm saying. Like

1080
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 1: you in your situation, it was different, but not that often.

1081
01:00:04,320 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 1: I mean maybe once every few weeks. But if you

1082
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:11,320
Speaker 1: had a nine to five job at your chiropractic chiropractor's office,

1083
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: there's no way you would have lasted at the beginning

1084
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:17,919
Speaker 1: of your relationship. Agree, that's why we would have been

1085
01:00:18,120 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: talking like we would have still known where we stood

1086
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 1: on it. That's what I'm saying. That's what could be

1087
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 1: happening right now. But she said he's not. He's not

1088
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 1: even like acting the same anymore, right, because he broke

1089
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 1: up with her. They're done. He never said anything. No,

1090
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: he didn't say it. He just moved, right, Can we

1091
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 1: confirm that he didn't say he never said it's over right? Wait? Right?

1092
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 1: He had been coming in regularly and then and then

1093
01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: he wasn't able to anymore. We decided to put the

1094
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 1: romance on hold and just be friends for now, so

1095
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:54,400
Speaker 1: they ended it. Mm hmm, okay, all right, so you agree.

1096
01:00:55,320 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 1: I agree that it's more complicated than meets the eye.

1097
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: But it's more complicated that I'm making it, and I'm

1098
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 1: making it sound like it's easy breezy, because I don't

1099
01:01:09,360 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: think your situation wasn't easy breezy. I'm just saying I

1100
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 1: was able to make it worked where we could see

1101
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 1: each other and correct. I get what you're saying, like,

1102
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: if you had this same situation in terms of work,

1103
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,200
Speaker 1: you would have been like, we can't do this, Let's

1104
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 1: put the romance on hold for now until we can.

1105
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just saying food for thought. Food

1106
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:42,120
Speaker 1: for thought, that's all I say. I'm just saying different perspective,

1107
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, yeah, it's it's and I feel like

1108
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: I'm coming across as such a like pessimist, but I

1109
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: think I'm more so like I'm such a believer. And

1110
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 1: you'll know if someone wants to be with you by

1111
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: how how they talk to you and how they can't

1112
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: stop talking to you. I feel like you, of all people,

1113
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,440
Speaker 1: should definitely know that I do trust me. I do

1114
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:06,120
Speaker 1: know that because I have I have experienced this where

1115
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: I have told said individual to stop talking to me

1116
01:02:10,120 --> 01:02:13,160
Speaker 1: and that did not stop said individuals. That's what I'm saying.

1117
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: I said individual had every right to stop texting, right,

1118
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 1: but again, he was one of the good ones, so

1119
01:02:20,120 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 1: he was trying to respect my wishes, but he couldn't

1120
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 1: because he wanted to be I'm like, it's hard to

1121
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:28,760
Speaker 1: prove a point when it's just circles and circles. But

1122
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 1: I've proved him my point here. But he's not. He

1123
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 1: is still reaching out. He's just not being flirty. So

1124
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 1: that's what Market sing. He's just trying to be he

1125
01:02:36,600 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 1: still wants to talk to her like he's like, ah,

1126
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 1: but he's trying to be respectful. All right, Arianna, we

1127
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:46,040
Speaker 1: need update definitely out on this because I have high

1128
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:48,919
Speaker 1: hopes for it. I want I want him to be

1129
01:02:49,280 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 1: respectful and great. I know. Here's the thing, we don't

1130
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 1: know him, so we're really just like fingers crossing that

1131
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 1: he's a good guy. He could suck totally and we

1132
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 1: could be giving really terrible advice. He's got a good

1133
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 1: and the job's gonna take in places he's going to

1134
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:05,960
Speaker 1: be really Mark Mark. We're going to use marks hopefulness. Right.

1135
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: We really need an update, So Arianna, if you're listening,

1136
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 1: really hope you're listening. In two months from today, I'm

1137
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 1: gonna put on my counter, so don't forget April May June,

1138
01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 1: so right before our Hockel Summer June twelve. So the

1139
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:25,080
Speaker 1: fourteenth is a Monday. I'm gonna say, Arianna, email update,

1140
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 1: flag day. Great, that's my sister's birthday. Great, great day. Alright,

1141
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 1: so we'll get an email, we'll get an update and

1142
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 1: see what the situation is like in two months from now.

1143
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 1: I love this. I really hope we're right. Oh God,

1144
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 1: I hope you're right that he's good. Yeah, I hope.

1145
01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm I'm rooting for like he should. One

1146
01:03:52,160 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 1: Lovely wrote the book one the kind of fine. He

1147
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:05,000
Speaker 1: can be good ones, but he's good all the time.

1148
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 1: He's one of the good ones, and he's all mad.

1149
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 1: I was thinking that the whole time. Every time you'll

1150
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: say good ones, I was like, I love that song.

1151
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,000
Speaker 1: I feel that song in my core, because when you

1152
01:04:23,040 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 1: find a good one, it's like finding a pot of gold.

1153
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: Even rarer than that. It's like finding pot of gold

1154
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 1: is not rare. It's like finding a gray hair on

1155
01:04:36,680 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 1: a baby's head. Okay, well they exist. I wasn't ready

1156
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 1: for that, but okay, I think it's time gray hair

1157
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:55,880
Speaker 1: on her baby's head. I have good It's not good,

1158
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,800
Speaker 1: it's just it's rare. I know, but I'm asking how

1159
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 1: many pots of goal have you come upon? So many?

1160
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 1: They're on the cover of Lucky Charms with the gray

1161
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: hair and find that in two seconds to where babies

1162
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 1: have you seen with the gray hair? I don't know,

1163
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:18,520
Speaker 1: but you know they're out there. They're out there, she says,

1164
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 1: the good ones. My daughter has a birthmark, right, my youngest,

1165
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 1: on the top of her head, and it has it's

1166
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:26,720
Speaker 1: never really grayest moore blonde now, but it was kind

1167
01:05:26,760 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 1: of gray when she was born. So there you go.

1168
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:32,000
Speaker 1: My cousins had that to the little blond. Cool thing

1169
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 1: is it was an honest stripe from Frozen before that

1170
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:40,360
Speaker 1: was such a thing, and she got then that movie happened,

1171
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, just like her, How cool is that?

1172
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 1: That's cute. I have a gray hair, but I'm not

1173
01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 1: a baby, so then I get it covered, so I

1174
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 1: know I forgot that. I don't battle. That'll be another

1175
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:56,400
Speaker 1: day for that. I want you to talk about that,

1176
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:59,400
Speaker 1: because you're not like you shouldn't have gray hair, right, No,

1177
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 1: it's just attic. I've had it since I was like, yeah,

1178
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 1: that's so wild. It's just I've been so wise for

1179
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:08,120
Speaker 1: so long that the gray hair just came in earlier

1180
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:11,880
Speaker 1: than it does for most people, exactly, exactly the wisdom. Yeah,

1181
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:20,120
Speaker 1: well beyond your years, beyond beyond great just like well, actually, yeah,

1182
01:06:20,120 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 1: if you let it grow, because it's in different spots.

1183
01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 1: One day, I'll let it grow. But I don't feel

1184
01:06:24,720 --> 01:06:27,160
Speaker 1: that it could be cool. But like the process of

1185
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,880
Speaker 1: growing it out would be I'd have to go like

1186
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:32,680
Speaker 1: do all of my hair gray, yeah, which feels like

1187
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 1: it could really do some damage to the rest of

1188
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 1: my hair. So yeah, because you have to bleach it

1189
01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 1: and then dieke Greg exactly, you know, it's not the move.

1190
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 1: It's not the move. So and in the meantime, I

1191
01:06:42,680 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 1: just covered up. Can I can I slide in one

1192
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 1: quick thing before we wrap? I'm sorry, um. While we're

1193
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 1: recording the show, I just got news that arc Light Cinemas,

1194
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 1: who crowned me the Caramel corumb Princess with the help

1195
01:06:55,520 --> 01:06:58,280
Speaker 1: of the Scrubbers years ago, they will not be reopening

1196
01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:02,760
Speaker 1: their closing forever. And my heart is my heart is broken.

1197
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 1: It's my favorite movie theater chain of all time, and

1198
01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:09,040
Speaker 1: it is best sad. It's very very sad that theaters

1199
01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 1: all across the country and they're not reopening, So my

1200
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,439
Speaker 1: heart goes out to ArcLight Cinemas. I want to don't

1201
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 1: know if you can see behind me, my my Carmel

1202
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 1: car Princess crown is right there, right back there. Uh.

1203
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 1: But I love you arc Light. You gave me some

1204
01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:25,880
Speaker 1: of the best movies ever and you'll be missed. You're

1205
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 1: always part of the Scrubbing and family as far as

1206
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:31,440
Speaker 1: I'm concerned, we love you arc Light and to all

1207
01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 1: the employees and yeah, um, that's really I hate that news. Yeah,

1208
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:40,320
Speaker 1: it's it's really sad, and I don't mean to be

1209
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 1: a downer, but I do want to give them a

1210
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:45,439
Speaker 1: tribute on here because they're they're the best. Yeah, they

1211
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:47,520
Speaker 1: have a very special place in our heart for the

1212
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:53,560
Speaker 1: Carmel Color Princess saga that we created. Did you create

1213
01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: that and they made they made it come to life? Yes? Yes,

1214
01:07:58,160 --> 01:07:59,480
Speaker 1: you know, if you really have to sum it up,

1215
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:02,040
Speaker 1: the were cyber bully at this movie theater into giving

1216
01:08:02,080 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 1: me a crown. That do exist, and therefore they will

1217
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 1: forever be a part of our community and I will

1218
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:09,960
Speaker 1: forever be the only Carmel Crumb princess in all of

1219
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 1: our lay history. Special pretty cool. You don't have to

1220
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 1: transfer the crown. It's all yours. No, I'm gonna I'm

1221
01:08:18,280 --> 01:08:20,080
Speaker 1: like one of those jerseys they retire in the upper

1222
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:22,160
Speaker 1: upper part of the stadium. You know, I'll have the

1223
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:24,760
Speaker 1: only sash. We'll put that on the Facebook group for you.

1224
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:30,160
Speaker 1: Thank you. Um, well that note. How do we even

1225
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 1: say goodbye after that news? Easton? Uh, we're gonna get

1226
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:40,360
Speaker 1: drunk on our next podcast. Oh yeah, really just turn

1227
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:45,040
Speaker 1: it around, we are. It's gonna be so fun on Thursday. Yeah, yeah,

1228
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,719
Speaker 1: it's gonna be so fun. We love a good time.

1229
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 1: We love a good time. We love a good in Bevy.

1230
01:08:53,439 --> 01:08:58,799
Speaker 1: So we are hosting the premiere of The Rural Summer

1231
01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:01,760
Speaker 1: Rual Summer, which is a television show that's going to

1232
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:08,799
Speaker 1: be on free Form with Sarah Drew. Yes, so, um,

1233
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:13,519
Speaker 1: we're gonna do that. That'll be um like live at

1234
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:16,480
Speaker 1: the Beverly Hilton and then we're gonna record the podcast

1235
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:20,479
Speaker 1: also from there and so we'll have them on UM.

1236
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:23,120
Speaker 1: But you know, when we do the podcast, after the

1237
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:26,879
Speaker 1: sun has gone down, we have a libation of sorts.

1238
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:34,360
Speaker 1: So yeah, so we'll be feeling saucy. I wish that

1239
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 1: we could watch grays before because if Sarah Drew going

1240
01:09:37,320 --> 01:09:41,880
Speaker 1: to be on this probably not right. I don't know

1241
01:09:41,880 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 1: if we know she's coming back, right, Yeah, but I

1242
01:09:45,800 --> 01:09:47,920
Speaker 1: don't know what episode. I'm sure we can find out

1243
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:49,800
Speaker 1: before we talk to her. Yeah, maybe they'll send us

1244
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:55,160
Speaker 1: a private screening. Doubtful. Um, okay, Well, on that note,

1245
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:58,719
Speaker 1: we'll be back next week and it'll be a fun time.

1246
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 1: And I hope you all have a wonderful day. Peace

1247
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:10,600
Speaker 1: and love and Taylor Swift. Yeah, stream Taylor's version of Fearless,

1248
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,840
Speaker 1: and um, that's really all I have to that's all

1249
01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:16,000
Speaker 1: I have to say with this, and then we love

1250
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 1: you all, Love you.