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Speaker 1: This is John, this is the m Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we.

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Speaker 2: Have some.

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Speaker 1: Good stories coming up for you. That's right. But before that,

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Speaker 1: we have a little morsel of a two minute at

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 2: I lied to my boyfriend about my childhood secret and

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Speaker 2: finally told him the truth imaginary friend. I'm aware that

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Speaker 2: this is a terrible thing to do, and I will

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Speaker 2: live with the guilt of it my whole life and

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Speaker 2: cannot apologize enough to those affected by this. When I

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Speaker 2: was starting eighth grade, I went into a completely new

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Speaker 2: school district due to bullying at my old school. I

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Speaker 2: still had one friend from my old school who I

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Speaker 2: texted daily. Will call her Molly. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from square efficiency five by three, and if you

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Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime separated it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, and

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Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice goof Lee, But we

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Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the

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Speaker 2: comments and Opisa, Mollie and I had this idea to

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Speaker 2: see how long I could convince the students at the.

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Speaker 3: School that I was color blind.

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Speaker 2: I am not, and we decided it would be easiest

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Speaker 2: for me to pretend to see in just black and white,

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Speaker 2: which I'm pretty certain is not a thing, so I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't get stumped if people tested me. Unfortunately for me,

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Speaker 2: I was quite convincing, and nobody ever called me out

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Speaker 2: if they doubted me. I went on to fall out

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Speaker 2: of contact with Molly because she stabbed me in the back,

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Speaker 2: and was then worried everyone would hate me when I

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Speaker 2: came clean alone without her to defend that we had

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Speaker 2: come up with it together. At this point, I had

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Speaker 2: made a whole new friend group who believed me, and

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Speaker 2: the entire school that knew me also knew that I

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Speaker 2: was colorblind. Fast forward to meeting my now boyfriend. Nothing special,

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Speaker 2: just lucky on a dating app. He was everything I

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Speaker 2: was looking for and I couldn't have been more happy

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Speaker 2: and still am. We have never fought in the two

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Speaker 2: years we've been together, apart from silly debates about SpongeBob

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Speaker 2: plots and what kinds of food is better. I love

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Speaker 2: it more than anything and I want to spend my

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Speaker 2: life with him. However, I don't believe I deserve to

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Speaker 2: have that. When we started getting serious, he met my

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Speaker 2: best friend since high school, and in the meeting, my

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Speaker 2: color vision came up, and rather than come clean to

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Speaker 2: my best friend, I decided to lie to my boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: and I feel terrible to this day. My issue is

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Speaker 2: I don't believe I can continue to go forward when

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Speaker 2: there is this lie hanging over the whole relationship. For

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Speaker 2: no reason. I feel I have done the equivalent to

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Speaker 2: cheating on him by lying for our entire relationship. I

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Speaker 2: know I have to come clean, and I'm going to

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Speaker 2: and hope for the best. I suppose I simply would

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Speaker 2: like advice on how to best go about it. His

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Speaker 2: family also believes I'm also color blind. Feel free to

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Speaker 2: rip me a new one in the comments. I deserve

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Speaker 2: it for faking a disability, and I take full responsibility

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Speaker 2: and will not claim I was a child and didn't understand.

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Speaker 2: I knew I was wrong, and I regret it edit

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Speaker 2: that I was telling me to add to the lie

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Speaker 2: or not helping. I know summer jokes. My issue isn't

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Speaker 2: I'm scared he'll figure it out. I want him to know.

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Speaker 2: I simply want a smart way of going about telling him.

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Speaker 2: Comment one, Listen, I once convinced a priest was my

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Speaker 2: twin when I was in seventh grade. Except I don't

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Speaker 2: have a twin. I'm an only child. That's what kids do.

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Speaker 2: They ever around. In your case, you're finding out a

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Speaker 2: little too late. If I can come clean and risk

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Speaker 2: internal damnation with a man of the cloth. He ended

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Speaker 2: up finding it hilarious, but did recommend therapy. I'm sure

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Speaker 2: you can come clean to folks, because it's effing funny.

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Speaker 2: Common two says, I am legitimately blind in one eye,

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Speaker 2: and almost everyone I know constantly forgets about it. I

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Speaker 2: have no idea why anyone would give a single f

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Speaker 2: about whether or not someone was colorblind, let alone bring

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Speaker 2: it up constantly. Common three, here's the thing. You've been

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Speaker 2: feeling shame about this for so long you've lost perspective.

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Speaker 2: So I'll tell you this is objectively hilarious. It's also

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Speaker 2: not that big of a deal. You told a lie

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Speaker 2: as a kid to get attention. You didn't hurt anybody

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Speaker 2: with this lie. You got in too deep and kept

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Speaker 2: it up to avoid embarrassment in high school, probably when

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Speaker 2: the shame started getting tangled into it, because you knew

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Speaker 2: by that point that it's a little cringe to tell

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Speaker 2: an intention seeking lie. Now you can't separate the reality

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Speaker 2: that it was a dumb, silly thing to do and

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Speaker 2: nobody's gonna hate you or cut you off for it,

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Speaker 2: from the alternate reality you've created in your head that

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Speaker 2: this was a shameful lie and you've betrayed your friends

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Speaker 2: and the boyfriend by telling it. The alternate reality is

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Speaker 2: not a thing. It's not real. Try to get an

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Speaker 2: aerial view of this. Imagine your boyfriend claimed to be

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Speaker 2: left handed as a kid because he thought it'd be cooler,

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Speaker 2: and somehow managed to learn to write with his left

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Speaker 2: hand and fooled everyone. Now imagine him coming to you,

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Speaker 2: solemn guilty, almost in tears, and admitting that he's not

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Speaker 2: actually left handed. He's been right handed all along. You'd

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Speaker 2: laugh your butt off, right, I mean, if my husband

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Speaker 2: told me that, I definitely would, because it's funny and

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Speaker 2: nobody got hurt and it's so not a big deal.

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Speaker 2: I'd probably make fun of him for a while, not mean,

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Speaker 2: just teasing, and then I'd probably forget about it. Maybe

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Speaker 2: once in a while i'd remember and chuckle again. Just

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Speaker 2: come clean to your boyfriend. It's not that deep. Your

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Speaker 2: brain and shame are tricking you, and op he does reply.

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Speaker 2: But I agree with all those comments.

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Speaker 4: I think that was also really nicely worded. So that's

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Speaker 4: what I was saying too, where Like there was I

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Speaker 4: think there were a lot of people who were like, like,

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Speaker 4: you're making a big deal like brushing it off, and

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Speaker 4: it's so clear that to this person like basy have

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Speaker 4: made like and so I like the way that that

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Speaker 4: person worded it. That was like, hey, like, yeah, you've

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Speaker 4: been kind of inside for so long, like dealing with

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Speaker 4: this that you have lost perspective like this is fine.

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Speaker 3: It's like when you, you know, are worried.

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Speaker 2: About something and then you internalize it and then you're

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Speaker 2: thinking about all the worst possible scenarios and then when

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Speaker 2: you like journal or you tell someone, you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: actually it's it's really not that bad. Yeah, it's just

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Speaker 2: getting perspective on it.

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Speaker 5: That is a constant.

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Speaker 2: I feel like lesson that that you never stop learning

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Speaker 2: is just being like, oh my gosh, I can't believe

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Speaker 2: that open communication yeah made everything better.

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Speaker 4: And then you learn that lesson promptly forget it and

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Speaker 4: then have to just relearn constantly.

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Speaker 2: Groundhog's Day is a little very I can't believe open

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Speaker 2: communications save the day again, Opie replied, thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: I told my mother and asked for help, and she

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Speaker 2: couldn't stop laughing enough to speak. I guess it's not

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Speaker 2: that bad, but my shame is that it's a disability

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Speaker 2: I faked, and in a way was making fun of

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Speaker 2: those who genuinely suffered with it and a common four,

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Speaker 2: says Ellwell, reminds me of how I said I lost

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Speaker 2: my virginity to a non existent man named Jack and

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Speaker 2: kept it the lie for an entire seven year relationship

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Speaker 2: with a dude I actually lost it to.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Tell him you have to tell him something and it's

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Speaker 2: really bad. Just keep alluding to how terrible it is,

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Speaker 2: so that he thinks you slept with his dad or

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Speaker 2: drowned a litter of puppies for fun. Then when you

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Speaker 2: finally really reveal it's just that you're not colorblind, he's relieved.

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Speaker 2: Ohpi says, I hate to admit that's what I was

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Speaker 2: thinking from the start, but I don't think I could

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Speaker 2: bear to even make him think I would do that. Update.

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Speaker 2: I spoke with my boyfriend last night while having pizza,

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Speaker 2: I simply said what I typed above, as many people suggested,

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Speaker 2: and after a lot of blank stares, silence and a

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Speaker 2: simple what, we started laughing. I was laughing nervously and

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Speaker 2: I was still unsure if he was going to get

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Speaker 2: up and leave my house, but wanted to laugh at

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Speaker 2: me first, dramatic, I know, but that's me. He calmed

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Speaker 2: me down because he's a saint and told me I'm

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Speaker 2: stupid and that was weird, and he still slightly shocked,

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Speaker 2: but ultimately he didn't care. We continued eating our pizza,

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Speaker 2: watch the next Marvel movie in our lineup, and I

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Speaker 2: had a completely relaxing night. I waited to update, still

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Speaker 2: unsure if he was staying with me after a night's

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Speaker 2: rest on it, but I'm happy to say it says

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Speaker 2: if nothing has changed, and I couldn't be happier. I

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Speaker 2: saw a few comments of Paul that I was sorry

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Speaker 2: for lying to my boyfriend, but nobody else. I will

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Speaker 2: admit my post did make it seem that way, and

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Speaker 2: maybe he was the catalyst to make me take the

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Speaker 2: steps towards coming clean. But I do deeply regret lying

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Speaker 2: to my friends as well. On that note, I told

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Speaker 2: my best friend as well over the phone because she

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Speaker 2: lives hours away at college right now, and she also

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Speaker 2: thought it was hilarious and shocking I managed to keep

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Speaker 2: it up this long. She also said she wasn't upset

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Speaker 2: with me, and it changed nothing between us, apart from

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Speaker 2: the relentless teasing I'm sure is coming my way. I

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Speaker 2: haven't told my boyfriend's family yet, as I want him

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Speaker 2: and I to decide together how to go about it,

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Speaker 2: because he obviously knows them better than me, although I

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Speaker 2: have already come to love them as my own family.

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Speaker 2: And that's the end of that story. Folks.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend hides girls on social media and then says

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Speaker 4: I'm the toxic one.

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Speaker 2: Well, we better find them. Yeah, where are they? Where

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Speaker 2: have they gone? My boyfriend and I have been together for

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Speaker 2: almost eight months. I've been in a very toxic for

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Speaker 2: your relationship before him, and he hasn't been in one

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Speaker 2: before I broke up with my ex because he was

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Speaker 2: constantly following and looking at other girls. Because of all

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Speaker 2: the things I've been through with my ex, I carry

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Speaker 2: a lot of insecurity with me, which leads to a

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Speaker 2: lot of jealousy from my side. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from user no Prune ninety nine sixty and if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to ar

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Speaker 2: slash Okay's story time subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and.

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Speaker 5: We are here to give good advice in a goofy manner.

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Speaker 5: But we'd we don't know everything, believe it or not.

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Speaker 5: Uh So we only know what we would do.

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Speaker 4: So if you have other opinions or experiences, speak your

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Speaker 4: truth down in the comments. Speak your mind, speak your mind,

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Speaker 4: spego truth speak go hot uh OPI says, in the

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Speaker 4: beginning of my relationship with my current boyfriend, I wasn't

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Speaker 4: jealous at all. That's because he made me feel like

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Speaker 4: the most beautiful girl in the world. I trusted him

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Speaker 4: one hundred percent to not be looking at or talking

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Speaker 4: to other girls behind my back. However, one day we

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Speaker 4: decided to warn a girl about her being spread via

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Speaker 4: his TikTok account. It was late and I decided to

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Speaker 4: go to bed. A few hours later, the girl added

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Speaker 4: me on Snapchat and sent me screenshots of the conversation.

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Speaker 4: Turns out he had given her his snapchat but deleted

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Speaker 4: it for me so I couldn't see it. I was

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Speaker 4: hurt a lot and acted out on him. We had

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Speaker 4: a big argument about it.

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Speaker 2: A few months into our relationship, we decided to go

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Speaker 2: on a trip together. Out of boredom. I asked if

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Speaker 2: I could go on his phone. He said yes. I

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Speaker 2: decided to go through his photos and saw that he

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Speaker 2: had saved a girl in a bikini.

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Speaker 4: I got really upset at him. He told me it's

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Speaker 4: because it was a girl he knew. I still didn't

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Speaker 4: like it, but I decided to calm down. A few

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Speaker 4: days later, he lost his phone on this trip, so

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Speaker 4: I told him he could use my iPad until we

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Speaker 4: got back. I noticed that a girl had viewed my

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Speaker 4: profile on TikTok, and my first instinct was to look

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Speaker 4: at his TikTok account. I saw that he had unfollowed me,

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Speaker 4: but left me as a follower.

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Speaker 5: I got really upset.

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Speaker 4: At him and was really mean because I thought it

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Speaker 4: was strange that he did that. I also noticed that

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Speaker 4: the same girl had followed him on there. I didn't

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Speaker 4: really think much of the girl at first. The next

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Speaker 4: day I walked in on him texting someone on my

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Speaker 4: iPad on Instagram, and when he noticed my present, he

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Speaker 4: swiped the chat away.

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Speaker 5: That day, he acted.

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Speaker 4: Really strange and wouldn't leave me alone with my iPad.

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Speaker 4: He even wanted to take it outside with him in

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Speaker 4: his pockets when he had to grab something. The first

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Speaker 4: moment he left me alone with the iPad.

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Speaker 5: I decided to look on to it.

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Speaker 4: I saw that a girl had messaged him on IG

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Speaker 4: and he had muted the chat. I decided not to

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Speaker 4: say it I saw anything and give him the chance

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Speaker 4: to tell me himself. So I asked him who he

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Speaker 4: was talking to earlier. At first, he told me it

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Speaker 4: was a girl he knew from high school.

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Speaker 2: I was upset. Then ten minutes later he grabbed the

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Speaker 2: iPad and showed me his DMS, saying, girl, you worry

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Speaker 2: too much. I wasn't talking to another girl.

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Speaker 4: If I hadn't seen the task before, I would have

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Speaker 4: believed him. But I had seen it and told him

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Speaker 4: we're done. I saw her messaging you you've deleted it.

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Speaker 4: Then I went outside and was anxious as heck. I

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Speaker 4: told his mom what had just happened, and she went

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Speaker 4: to talk to him. I went to her room and

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Speaker 4: cried my eyes out like a hysterical person. He came

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Speaker 4: to sit with me and talk, saying he was sorry.

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Speaker 4: I called him a heartless person and was really mean

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Speaker 4: to him again. Eventually, I decided to stay with him,

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Speaker 4: but on the condition that I could have his password

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Speaker 4: to all his social media accounts. The next day, I

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Speaker 4: woke up with a weird feeling in my stomach. I

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Speaker 4: decided to look through his saved tiktoks and saw him

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Speaker 4: saving other girls. I cried again and asked if we

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Speaker 4: could talk. He got really defensive and stressed because he

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Speaker 4: knows I broke up with my ex because of this.

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Speaker 4: I stayed calm, though I did cry about it to him.

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Speaker 4: He told me it was for his art, he makes

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Speaker 4: three D characters, and that he isn't that kind of guy.

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Speaker 4: Other things I've noticed include his Twitter account being filled

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Speaker 4: with Asian girls. I hadn't said anything about that though.

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Speaker 4: When we got home from the trip, I got another

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Speaker 4: weird stomach feeling and decided to find out who the

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Speaker 4: girl is that viewed my TikTok profile.

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Speaker 2: Turns out it was the same girl he was texting.

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Speaker 5: I decided to break up with him, but when I told.

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Speaker 4: Him why, he said he didn't know it was her.

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Speaker 2: I decided to trust him and we.

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Speaker 5: Didn't break up after all.

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Speaker 4: A few weeks later, he started commenting on my chest

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Speaker 4: a lot. He told me they got bigger, they got

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Speaker 4: small again. When is your next period? Because he knows

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Speaker 4: my chest is bigger before my period. Your chests are

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Speaker 4: so small haha.

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Speaker 2: And then I had a dream you had.

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Speaker 3: A really big chest.

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Speaker 4: I was really confused as to why he was paying

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Speaker 4: so much attention to them. We were engaging in spicy sleep.

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Speaker 4: He put a blanket over me and grabbed his phone.

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Speaker 4: I accused him of going on Twitter to look at

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Speaker 4: those girls that pop up on his FYP. I immediately

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Speaker 4: stopped and didn't let him touch me. After that, I

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Speaker 4: woke up with a weird stomach feeling again and decided

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Speaker 4: to look through his.

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Speaker 5: Social media history.

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Speaker 4: When I got to his Instagram watch history, saw about

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Speaker 4: forty reels of women volumptuous women from the same account,

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Speaker 4: with no videos from other accounts in between, means he.

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Speaker 2: Had watched them back to back. I sent him a

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Speaker 2: video of it because I was so done. I sent

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Speaker 2: it with the text, you guys are all the same.

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Speaker 2: I didn't handle this situation well. It was very toxic

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Speaker 2: to say the least. Well, I agree, and that only

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Speaker 2: because you should have broken up the first time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, I don't think you were toxic for sending

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Speaker 4: that not like. I just think that we could have

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Speaker 4: avoided this by just like together when we broke with

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Speaker 4: the first time. Let it stick.

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Speaker 5: I let him believe I blocked him.

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Speaker 4: After sending the video, he asked me what he did wrong,

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Speaker 4: and then convinced me that his algorithm randomly shows him

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Speaker 4: these things and that he wasn't actively searching for it

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Speaker 4: at all, because that's.

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Speaker 2: How algorithms were.

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Speaker 5: I decided to forgive him. That was yesterday.

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Speaker 4: He gave me a FaceTime call yesterday evening and asked

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Speaker 4: me why I looked through his history. I told him

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Speaker 4: about the chest thing. He told me he felt that

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Speaker 4: I didn't trust him and that he felt like he

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Speaker 4: had to walk on eggshells with me because every time

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Speaker 4: I see something on his social media that involves a girl,

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Speaker 4: I act out and become mean to him. He also

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Speaker 4: says that his mom and brother don't see the wrong

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00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,559
Speaker 4: in the history thing and said he couldn't do anything

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Speaker 4: about it. He feels like I don't understand him and

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Speaker 4: that I wrongfully compare him to my ex. He also

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Speaker 4: finds it draining to give me conscient reassurance, and doesn't

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Speaker 4: like the way I say mean things when I'm upset.

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Speaker 4: I've never called him bad words or anything, but I

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Speaker 4: guess I do say insulting things like you're heartless. He

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Speaker 4: told me that the past few months have drained him,

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Speaker 4: especially yesterday, so he asked for space and that it

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00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,480
Speaker 4: could be up to a few months of space. I

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00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,880
Speaker 4: didn't respond to an understanding wait to him to all

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Speaker 4: the things he told me on that FaceTime call.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 3: The thing.

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Speaker 2: The way that I know that that he's a good

342
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,720
Speaker 2: gas lighter is that he like makes it sounds He

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Speaker 2: makes it sound good.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: He makes me being like, oh, well, maybe you know

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00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,600
Speaker 2: there is another side I'm not seeing. But then we

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Speaker 2: get to the end and I'm like, oh no, he

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00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 2: just wants toaff other women. Yeah, oh, he wants a

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00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 2: couple times of space, not just break up. Yeah, why

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00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,280
Speaker 2: do you want a couple months of space? What are

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00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,640
Speaker 2: you gonna do in a couple months of space?

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Speaker 4: There's another relevant update, but let's discuss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, break up, break up? Why I don't have

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00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 2: any other advice for you? Break up, break up, and

355
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 2: please like again? Because I've seen how you've behaved throughout

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00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,040
Speaker 2: this whole story. You need a minute before you get

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Speaker 2: into another relationship.

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Speaker 5: Because like, and it is interesting.

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Speaker 4: She even starts this story with, like, I have a

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00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,880
Speaker 4: lot of insecurities. I get jealous very easily, and I

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Speaker 4: get mean, and I feel like a lot of the time,

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Speaker 4: sometimes people think that saying that is good enough, like

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Speaker 4: as long as they're like I know, like, yeah, I

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00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,200
Speaker 4: get pretty jealous.

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Speaker 5: And it's like, well, you can't stop there. You have

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Speaker 5: to be like, Okay.

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Speaker 4: I recognize that jealousy is something that I struggle with.

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Speaker 5: How do I figure that out?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Because at this point, I'm like, how much of this

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00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 2: is your jealousy coming out in extremes or how much

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00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:55,320
Speaker 2: of this is him, you know, actually pushing past boundaries

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Speaker 2: that you've set And it might be a little bit

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Speaker 2: of both. Yeah, because there's definitely like he's doing some

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Speaker 2: absolutely shady stuff.

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00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it is also yeah, like like if you

377
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:03,800
Speaker 5: know that that.

378
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 2: Is something that you struggle with, yeah, really being aware

379
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,000
Speaker 2: of and watching for that stuff. Yeah, Because I mean,

380
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 2: regardless of who you're dating next, whether they're a good

381
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,240
Speaker 2: person or not, you're going to react the same way.

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00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, that's the thing is yep, and you actually

383
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 4: said it perfectly and I had nothing else to do,

384
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 4: that's the thing instead of yes and just yes yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

386
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 4: He says I was very cold to him and only

387
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 4: focused on my own feelings. I made some toxic comments.

388
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 4: I also said I couldn't understand how he was okay

389
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Speaker 4: with not talking to me for so long, and I

390
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 4: couldn't even think of doing that to him. He just

391
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,280
Speaker 4: responded that I don't get the reason he wants to

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Speaker 4: stop contact for now.

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Speaker 5: After that, he just said good night.

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Speaker 4: Do you guys think that he still wants to be

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Speaker 4: with me after all of this? And what can I

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00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,320
Speaker 4: do to make this relationship work?

397
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Speaker 2: Nothing?

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00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 5: Or is our relationship ruined?

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00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:56,080
Speaker 2: Yes? Your relationship is over. Yeah. The comment has something

400
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 2: which I will probably agree with, which says all he

401
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 2: does is piss you off. Why do you care if

402
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 2: it's over? Are you afraid you won't have anyone to

403
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 2: be mad at anymore? Oh? That was crazy. That was

404
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,320
Speaker 2: a crazy way to end that. I actually I was like,

405
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, we'll probably agree with commenter. And

406
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,479
Speaker 2: then they put some sauce on it right at the end.

407
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,159
Speaker 4: Opie replies no, I care because I genuinely love him

408
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 4: and I don't want to be this way towards him.

409
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,359
Speaker 4: I've summed up all the things we've fought over in

410
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 4: this paragraph. The other parts of our relationship are all

411
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 4: happy and follow like best friends.

412
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 2: No, you're not. You're literally not. That's not how best

413
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 2: friends behave Yeah, stop lying to yourself.

414
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 4: I wrote this text to get advice, criticism, and just

415
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 4: honest feedback to better myself for him. Another commenter says,

416
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:37,840
Speaker 4: what the f can you possibly be getting out of

417
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,080
Speaker 4: this relationship that you'd even care if it's ruined. You're

418
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 4: terrible for each other. He wants to break up with you,

419
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 4: but is afraid to tell you quit making toxic comments

420
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,840
Speaker 4: with him and it with anyone else, and stop making.

421
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,679
Speaker 2: Your issues other people's problems. And that's the end of

422
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 2: that story. Folks. My girlfriend wanted a procedure, but the

423
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,760
Speaker 2: real reason shattered me.

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Speaker 5: This is so vague. I don't even have a quippi

425
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,320
Speaker 5: for it. She's like, whatever, could you mean some backstory? Oh,

426
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 5: booth age.

427
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 2: We've been together about a year and a half and

428
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,400
Speaker 2: we get along fabulously. I love her like crazy. We've

429
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,199
Speaker 2: had a rough patch, but we made it through and

430
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 2: now we're great. We say I love you all the time,

431
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,840
Speaker 2: regular dates, rarely fight, et CETERA great dynamic. By the way,

432
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 2: this comes from history. What now and if you want

433
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 2: to smit your own stories, go to the raslash okay,

434
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,440
Speaker 2: storytime subbured it. I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, but we're here

435
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 2: to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have all

436
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,959
Speaker 2: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let

437
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,840
Speaker 2: us know what you would do in the comments, and

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00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 2: Op says we are both child free. It was one

439
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,359
Speaker 2: of the first things we bonded over. She's been planning

440
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,800
Speaker 2: to get her tubes tied when she was thirty since

441
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 2: before we met. She has an IUD now, so permanent

442
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 2: birth control is nothing new. I support her decision completely.

443
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 2: But then a couple days ago we were talking and

444
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 2: the topic of how she'll be thirty soon came up

445
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,639
Speaker 2: and the surgery. Then she drops on me totally casually

446
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 2: that instead of getting her tubes tied, she's leaning towards

447
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,199
Speaker 2: getting her uterus completely taken out. I'll admit I'm not

448
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 2: the most medically savvy, but from what I know and

449
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 2: looked up about it. It doesn't seem safe or logical,

450
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,199
Speaker 2: especially at her age, so it was kind of a bombshell.

451
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,480
Speaker 2: I said. I thought it had too many health risks

452
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 2: and could send her into menopause from what I know

453
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 2: about it. She just kept repeating that she knows what

454
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,919
Speaker 2: she's talking about it and is fine, and not to

455
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 2: question her. From what I know, her periods aren't very

456
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 2: heavy or painful, and there's no history of camp, so

457
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 2: I have no idea what brought this on. It escalated

458
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 2: to a heated argument that led to her saying she

459
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 2: wished she hadn't said anything and that it's not my

460
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,639
Speaker 2: body and storming out of the room. That was a

461
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 2: few days ago and things are still chilly. Neither of

462
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 2: us have said anything on the topic, so what the heck?

463
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 2: She won't say why, And from what I've researched on

464
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 2: the procedure, it a seems completely unnecessary, b could be

465
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 2: slash is harmful for a woman her age, and see

466
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,159
Speaker 2: good luck finding a doctor who will do it. You

467
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 2: usually super into her health and weighing the risks and benefits.

468
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,200
Speaker 2: So I don't get it. Am I missing something here?

469
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 2: Or am I just being an unsupportive jack butt, and

470
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: there are some comments. Common One says you don't have

471
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 2: to broach the subject or talk about it at all,

472
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 2: because they won't remove a perfectly healthy organ if she

473
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 2: has normal periods, no fibroids, no care, it's not coming out.

474
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: It's beyond too dangerous to perform this on a healthy

475
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,920
Speaker 2: person for no reason, and it will not happen. It's

476
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 2: not a birth control option, it's not elective period. A

477
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,719
Speaker 2: doctor will tell her this in due time, So this

478
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 2: is not your problem. Stop worrying about this. I just

479
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,679
Speaker 2: need to correct you re metopause. That's only if they

480
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 2: remove the ovaries along with the uterus, which isn't necessarily

481
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 2: and not part of an average hysterectomy. Two, you've been

482
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 2: getting some frankly crap advice here, no offense, but this

483
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,800
Speaker 2: sub seems to have been filled with people who immediately

484
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: jammed cotton into their ears the minute they saw something

485
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 2: about women's reproductive organs. And stop paying attention to reality.

486
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 2: You should absolutely be worried about your girlfriend. Heck, my

487
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 2: fiance has a cold and I'm worried about her health.

488
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 2: If her response to a cold was I should get

489
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: my sinuses removed I'd be super concerned. While it's probably

490
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 2: true she won't find a doctor worth her salt who

491
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 2: will provide one, if she's set on it, she'll be

492
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 2: able to get one one way or another, and that's

493
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 2: very concerning. As for what you should do here, step

494
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 2: back and give it a little time before you guys

495
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: talk about it again. Let cooler heads prevail, as it were,

496
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 2: ask lots of questions, and come in without or seemingly

497
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: without judgments. As directomy is not a my body, my

498
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:35,359
Speaker 2: choice thing. That's a major surgery with very long term effects.

499
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: If her reasons are nothing but zero percent of babies

500
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 2: and no more periods, then she does not have good reasons.

501
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 2: Common three says, of course, it's not your body, but

502
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 2: you love her and you want what's best for her,

503
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,160
Speaker 2: so you felt the need to tell her your concerns.

504
00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: And it's unfortunate that that was in the form of

505
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 2: a heated argument. But the complete removal of an organ

506
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: is not a trifle matter. And there is an update. Wow,

507
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 2: this really blew up. I've read through all the replies

508
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: and went to addressed and want to address a few things,

509
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: especially for anyone who didn't read the original post. I'm

510
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:12,240
Speaker 2: not being mistreated, not being manipulated. The hysterectomy idea was

511
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: brought up as an option to permanent sterilization. It's part

512
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:19,239
Speaker 2: of an ongoing conversation. We are child free. She had

513
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: planned to get her tubes tied when she turned thirty,

514
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 2: since before she met me. It probably would not have

515
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 2: escalated to this if I had just said okay. It

516
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 2: was when I reacted strongly that she got defensive. Therapy,

517
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 2: particularly couple's therapy, was already suggested between us, and we're

518
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 2: probably going to go for it. She admitted she has

519
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 2: some baggage surrounding her previous bedroom relationships, and because I

520
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,879
Speaker 2: wasn't listening and she figured that getting her ovaries out

521
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: was a potential solution to something. I didn't think it

522
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: was needed to go into detail like this, but she

523
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: said when we were talking that she was surprised at

524
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 2: how heated she got over the issue. She also realized

525
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 2: after the fact no doctor would take her ovaries out voluntarily.

526
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 2: For the people I missed it, we generally communicate pretty well.

527
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: I just missed the spicy sleep talk from her for

528
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 2: six months, again, something that can hoefully be addressed with therapy.

529
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 2: If every bump in the road or accidental miscommunication is

530
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 2: breakup worthy jeepers, good luck to you, guys. I got

531
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 2: a lot of advice on the last post from all

532
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: points of view and a couple of messages, so I

533
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 2: figured i'd do an update. First off, she didn't actually

534
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: want a hysterectomy. It was a cry for help or

535
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 2: red flag. Also, I'm an idiot, So the day after

536
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 2: I made the post, I wanted to clear the air because,

537
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,439
Speaker 2: like I said, things were chilly and off. So I

538
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 2: sat down with her and I had a whole apology

539
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 2: planned out about doubting her judgment and clearly she knows

540
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 2: her body, and I was just worried because I love

541
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: her and I support her and so on and so forth.

542
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 2: But I only got part way in before she got

543
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: upset told me it doesn't matter because she knows she

544
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 2: can't get one and it's not happening. Then I got

545
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 2: really confused and said, if it's what she wants, then

546
00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 2: I'll help her get one and find the right dog

547
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: her and we can do our research together. She yelled

548
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 2: that she doesn't want one and to drop it and

549
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: leave her alone. Then she burst into tears and stormed

550
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 2: out of the apartment. See, oh, b I, this is

551
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 2: why I really feel like you need to I mean

552
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 2: it seems like he, you know, tried to go one

553
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 2: way didn't work, try to go the other way didn't work.

554
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: I think we just need to go middle of the

555
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 2: road and say why do we want it?

556
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I will say it does sound like she.

557
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 2: Does not want to talk. No, yes, I agree, but

558
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 2: it seems like Opie's you know, I understand.

559
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 5: When their extremes occur.

560
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 2: Yes, it's like I'm fully on board. I don't need

561
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 2: any information. It's like I don't think either of those

562
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 2: ones are going to work. I think it's just, hey,

563
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 2: why why do we feel like this? Ah? So I'm

564
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: super confused and worried at this point. I didn't call

565
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 2: because when she gets this upset, it's better to leave

566
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 2: her be. But I sent her a text telling her

567
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,640
Speaker 2: I love her and I want to fix whatever's going on.

568
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 2: She came back an hour later, still crying, and said

569
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 2: she needs to talk and tell me something. I was

570
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 2: completely brave for the worst that she cheated or was pregnant,

571
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 2: but I think what she actually said hurt more. She

572
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: wanted the hysterectomy as a last ditch resort to intentionally

573
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: unlive of her spicy drive. Remember how I mentioned we

574
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: had a rough patch about six months ago. Well, I

575
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: thought everything was better than ever since then. But what

576
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 2: I didn't notice was I've coincidentally taken on some bigger

577
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 2: projects at work since then, which is up my stress levels.

578
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 2: And I didn't notice we've been having less and less

579
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 2: spicy sleep. She pointed out that we only had spicy

580
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 2: sleep twice in the past month. And I don't initiate, girl,

581
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: We didn't have to jump to let's get a hysterectomy.

582
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 2: Let's just talk. Yeah, I mean, what did I say

583
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 2: earlier today? It's like the constant lesson being learned of.

584
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 5: You just got to communicate.

585
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 3: You just got to communicate.

586
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 2: She also told me her last three relationships ended with

587
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,239
Speaker 2: passed away bedrooms where her partners refused to work on it,

588
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 2: so she was scared it's happening to her again. She

589
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: then told me that if it keeps happening to her,

590
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 2: that there must be something wrong with her and how

591
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 2: awful she feels. So she just wanted to not feel

592
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 2: anything spicy wise.

593
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 3: Ouch.

594
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. At the end of the day. This is just

595
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 2: you just had to you know, slowly, you know, weeded

596
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: out of her.

597
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 5: Like the information.

598
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, it's not the uterus the information. No, yeah,

599
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 2: it really is like that should have been those feelings

600
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 2: should have been talked about way earlier before you go

601
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 2: to medical. Yeah, a huge medical like change, that's that's yeah.

602
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:44,080
Speaker 2: We don't need any procedure that's gonna literally affect your

603
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: life forever. Uh. Yeah, but I'm glad. I'm glad she

604
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 2: finally told you, and I hope that you can listen

605
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 2: and make those changes.

606
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 4: I know, I'm curious to see how this ends.

607
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 2: Honestly, the whole thing is heartbreaking, and I felt so guilty.

608
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: She had brought up the spicy sleep thing a few

609
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 2: times before, but I hadn't taken it seriously enough, and

610
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: I guess she just gave up. Anyways, I felt like garbage,

611
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 2: and I've spent every day since trying to make it

612
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,959
Speaker 2: up to her. And yes, we've been having spicy sleep.

613
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 2: I've also committed to making sure I initiate and to

614
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: actually listen before things snowball. She's happier, she's incredible. I'm

615
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 2: much better for actually getting some two and I'm the

616
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 2: luckiest man on the planet. And all's well. That ends. Well,

617
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:32,480
Speaker 2: there we go, that's all just communication saves the day.

618
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 2: Another story saved by communication. But folks, that's the end

619
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 2: of that story.

620
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam.

621
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: We'll get back to the stories.

622
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

623
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 3: My father's girlfriend wanted to be my friend, but I refuse.

624
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 6: Second time, doesn't have to be your friend.

625
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 3: My twenty six female father late fifties has been with

626
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 3: Trudy early forties for about six years, but she only

627
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 3: moved in with him a little under a year ago.

628
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,400
Speaker 3: Before that, she lived in a different city. By the way,

629
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 3: this comes from Construction Witty nine seven eight. And if

630
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

631
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 3: r slash Okay story time. It's Sepreddit and I'm Angie

632
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 3: and I'm Keon and we're here to give good advice goofily.

633
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers, so we're just

634
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 3: gonna guess what we would do in this situation. But

635
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 3: if you would do anything differently, let us know in

636
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,120
Speaker 3: the chat or in the comment. So Opie says. Since

637
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 3: they started dating, Trudy has established herself as essentially a housewife.

638
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 3: It was her choice from what I gather for My

639
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 3: father was against it, and she seems happy with it,

640
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 3: but she's a little extreme about it. She doesn't work,

641
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 3: she has no hobbies, and refuses to go anywhere without

642
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 3: my father. He often leaves on work trips for days

643
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: at a time. When he's in town, she joins him

644
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 3: and whatever he's doing. When he's not, her daily routine

645
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 3: consists of going to the gym and returning home to

646
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 3: order takeout and watch TV. Because of that, Trudy has

647
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 3: no friends in this city. She never meets anyone. Her

648
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 3: whole family is a six hour drive away, and only

649
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 3: my father's friends come to her birthday parties. Recently, both

650
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 3: Trudy and my father started pushing for me and my

651
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 3: sister to hang out with Trudy or include her in

652
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 3: whatever plans we make, because she's been spending a lot

653
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 3: of time home alone and has been getting lonely. They've

654
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 3: mostly given up on asking my sister, but still try

655
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 3: to convince me. I never do both because I can't

656
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 3: and because I don't like Trudy. I'm well aware that

657
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 3: that's not her problem, and I'm always polite, but I

658
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 3: don't want to spend time with her when I don't

659
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 3: have to. I also have a baby and a job,

660
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 3: so whatever free time I have tends to revolve around

661
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 3: my son. Even when it doesn't. Trudy and I don't

662
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: have the same interests. Last Friday, Trudy was home alone

663
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 3: and invited me and my husband and our baby over

664
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 3: to watch a movie with her. We thanked her, but

665
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 3: said no because my husband wanted to catch up on

666
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 3: work and I didn't want to take our son out

667
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 3: on my own, both true. On Saturday, we ended up

668
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 3: inviting my best friend and her husband for a small

669
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,720
Speaker 3: game night at our place. Said friend later posted an

670
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 3: Instagram story about it. My father returned on Saturday morning

671
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 3: and we saw my family at a small get together

672
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 3: that day. Trudy was quiet, which was a bit out

673
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 3: of character. Right before we left, she and my father

674
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 3: pulled me aside. We had an argument because Trudy had

675
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 3: seen what my friend had posted. She said that she

676
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 3: was upset that I hadn't thought of including her or

677
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 3: taking her up on her offer to hang out when

678
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 3: she was home alone. My father told me that I

679
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 3: had been inconsiderate and as she hasn't made any friends

680
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 3: around here yet, and I know how lonely she's been lately.

681
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:31,959
Speaker 3: I said, it's not my fault she doesn't have friends,

682
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 3: and I don't have to include her in my plans

683
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 3: just because she refuses to meet new people. And Trudy

684
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 3: God offended, but my husband and I had to leave yesterday.

685
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 3: My father texted me saying that Trudy was still upset

686
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:46,320
Speaker 3: about what I said, and he thinks that I owe

687
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 3: her an apology. He thinks that I'm bullying his girlfriend

688
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: by refusing to hang out with her. And it was

689
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: rude of me to imply that her lack of friends

690
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 3: is her own fault. That's not what I meant. And

691
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: I don't like being treated like Trudy's cure for loneliness.

692
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 3: But I do understand and how what I said could be.

693
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 2: Seen as rude? Am I a hole?

694
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 3: If you do have some relevant comments? One commentary says,

695
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 3: not the a hole. Why is Trudy looking at your

696
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 3: friend's Instagram story? It's not your job to entertain her

697
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 3: or invite her to anything. Trudy's a grown but woman

698
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 3: who needs to get a life instead of crying to

699
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 3: her boyfriend that his kids don't want to hang out

700
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 3: with her. Opie says she started following some of my

701
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 3: friends during my birthday a few months ago. She said,

702
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 3: A said friend has been my best friend since diaper's

703
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: and is a little more active on social media, so

704
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: Trudy checks hers pretty often. Another commentary says, not the

705
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,000
Speaker 3: a whole explained to your dad that you are not

706
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 3: bullying her. They are bullying you. You've said nothing mean

707
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 3: to her or about her, and you have not done

708
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 3: anything mean to her. You did not attack her with

709
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 3: the statement you defended against their attack. You are a

710
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 3: working mother with limited time already, and she is not

711
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 3: offering to help you in any way. She's just demanding

712
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 3: a portion of your already limited free time. The fact

713
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: that she has no child, no job, and is bored

714
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 3: does not give her the right to add stress to

715
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 3: your already stressed life. Obi responds that things with her

716
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,240
Speaker 3: have gotten so much worse since my son was born. Interesting.

717
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 3: I thought I always thought my father would be more

718
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 3: difficult to deal with around this time, but she does

719
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 3: not understand how limited my free time actually is. Another

720
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 3: commentary says, it's exceedingly hard for me to sympathize with

721
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 3: or feel any compassion for women in these situations, because

722
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 3: if it's against the husband's wishes, then it's ultimately entirely

723
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 3: a situation of the woman's designs. Any dislike for the situation,

724
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: any absence of a life beyond being a housewife, is

725
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 3: entirely by her own decision. Plus, from what it sounds like,

726
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 3: she basically doesn't have any real constraints because she's just

727
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 3: sitting on her butt, ordering takeout and watching TV. Like

728
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 3: join a club, take up a hobby, read books. If

729
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 3: you're just scrolling TikTok and watching TV, then your loneliness

730
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 3: is your own faults. Also, it's not necessarily bullying to

731
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 3: exclude freedom of assembly is a personal right, and you're

732
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 3: not required to spend time with her just because she's

733
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,720
Speaker 3: a loser, not the a hole. Obi responds, My father

734
00:32:57,920 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 3: was indeed against it, but at the same time, he's

735
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 3: always liked having people who depend on him, even if

736
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 3: he doesn't admit it. I love the guy, but living

737
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 3: with him wasn't easy, and our relationship got a thousand

738
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 3: times better when I moved out. This is actually the

739
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 3: first fight we've had in a while. I think his

740
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 3: main problem with it is how intense it is. She

741
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 3: quite literally refuses to do anything without him. Sometimes that

742
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 3: comes at the expense of other people's money, comfort, or time.

743
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: She doesn't care. I do think my father enjoys having

744
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 3: her around, but her fixation on being a terminator housewife

745
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:31,719
Speaker 3: bothers him too. And more on Trudy and Ope's father's relationship,

746
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 3: Opie says, I always thought that they were a weird couple.

747
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 3: Trudy is still nostalgic for Y two K and would

748
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 3: be a Disney adult if she could afford to. My

749
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 3: father thinks he's James Bond, but is closer to Fraser

750
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 3: minus the college degrees. He really wants us to be friends,

751
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 3: though I never told him I didn't like her, but

752
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 3: I did make it clear that the fact that we

753
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 3: have nothing in common makes it unlikely. Plus, she used

754
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: to work, and I think she still has some savings.

755
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 3: I also think there is some inheritance money involved. My

756
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 3: father does pay for most of their expenses, though back

757
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 3: when she lived in her hometown, she'd fly in to

758
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 3: visit my father at least twice a month and stay

759
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 3: for about a week. Moving in with him didn't change much,

760
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 3: except she no longer has the option of returning home

761
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 3: to stay with her friends and family when he's out

762
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 3: of town, and we do have an update. But yeah,

763
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of those comments are true.

764
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 3: I think a lot of the comments were pretty harsh.

765
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,720
Speaker 6: But no, they were just brutally honest.

766
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: Do you think yeah, because I mean I almost want

767
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,480
Speaker 3: to give her the benefit of the doubt a little bit.

768
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 3: I think she it is odd that she is just

769
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 3: like following the husband around and only wants to wants

770
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 3: to do everything that he's involved in because she's shadows. Yeah,

771
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 3: he's not getting his own life and she's not building

772
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 3: her own. So it's it is true what Opie said

773
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 3: about like, yeah, I mean, it's not my fault she

774
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 3: doesn't have any friends, you know, And it's true that

775
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 3: she can join hobbies and join clubs and stuff like that.

776
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 3: I will say though, that even then it can be

777
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 3: difficult to make friends, So you know, I don't I'm

778
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 3: not surprised that she maybe felt left out. But at

779
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 3: the same time, it's like, you can't be mad to

780
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 3: the point where it's like, oh my gosh, my life

781
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 3: is depending on this and you ruined it.

782
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly, Like I get it from a point of

783
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 6: like maybe once in a blue moon hang out or

784
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 6: like get lunch or coffee or something like that. But

785
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 6: like if she's like, no, you need to be my BFF, Jilly,

786
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 6: I maybe a friend bracelet, Like right, let's hang out

787
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 6: twenty four to seven. Yeah, that's a little different.

788
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:26,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

789
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 3: And also her her reasoning for this situation, like for

790
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 3: being mad about the situation was just like, oh, I

791
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 3: asked you to hang out once, you said you couldn't

792
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 3: do it because your husband was doing something already and

793
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 3: you didn't want to like take care of your kid

794
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 3: without the husband.

795
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 2: So now the fact that you're hanging out.

796
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:41,840
Speaker 3: With this other person was like, you know, it's like

797
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 3: that's that's if it was multiple times, where like she

798
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 3: was always inviting and always saying no, but then hanging

799
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: out with other people even though she said she had

800
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: no time, then that I would be upset about. But

801
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 3: this is like, girl, you can't be this mad about

802
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:56,359
Speaker 3: this yet.

803
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly. This is unless if we this is the

804
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 6: context we get, maybe it's happened more than once, right,

805
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 6: but it seems like like chill take a chill pill.

806
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, Trudy, exactly, take a chill pillm. But we do

807
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 3: have an update from twelve days later. It's been almost

808
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: two weeks since I posted here. I wouldn't say I've

809
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 3: sorted everything out, but I'm satisfied with what has happened.

810
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 3: A few days after my post, I reached out to

811
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 3: all my friends who know Trudy and told them to

812
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 3: either block her on social media or just remove her

813
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 3: as a follower. Interesting. I don't think she was using

814
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: them to stalk me or anything. She spends a lot

815
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 3: of time on her phone. It was actually very unlikely

816
00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 3: that she wouldn't see the story that my friend posted

817
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 3: that day, but I figured it would be best to

818
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 3: prevent this from happening again. I also removed her from

819
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 3: my followers. My account has always been private anyway. I

820
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 3: decided that I wanted to have a one on one

821
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 3: conversation with my father so that we could talk things through,

822
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: so we agreed to have lunch together on Saturday. We

823
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 3: settled on a restaurant near my place and agreed that

824
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,360
Speaker 3: it would be just the two of us. Ay of,

825
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 3: he called and told me that Trudy was insisting on

826
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,239
Speaker 3: coming along to keep company. I told him no, I

827
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 3: wanted to talk to him on my own. We had

828
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 3: a small fight because he didn't want to leave Trudy alone,

829
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 3: so I told him that it was best that we

830
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 3: rescheduled it. My husband and I had lunch together and

831
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 3: took our baby to the park instead. That night, I

832
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 3: told my husband what had happened, and he said, I

833
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: love that you're still trying to be nice to them,

834
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: but I don't think it's working. Between that your comments

835
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 3: and the fact that I'm exhausted, I decided to give up.

836
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 3: I can't force my father and Trudy to listen, but

837
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,439
Speaker 3: I can at least put my foot down. I called

838
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 3: my father the next day, while Trudy was at the gym.

839
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 3: I told him, in no uncertain terms that I do

840
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 3: not like Trudy and will never accept an offer to

841
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,680
Speaker 3: spend time with her when he's not around, even more

842
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: so now that I have a child. As expected, my

843
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: father started trying to guilt me right away. First, he

844
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 3: went on a spiel about Trudy's life story and how

845
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 3: caring and devout she is to everyone around her. He

846
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: told me about how much she loves me and wishes

847
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 3: that we could spend more time with her. This wasn't

848
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 3: the first time that I heard all of that, but

849
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 3: it was the first time that I told him I

850
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 3: didn't care. I'm glad she loves me, but I have

851
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 3: no obligation to love her in return. I could spend

852
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 3: hours listing all the reasons that I don't like her,

853
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,680
Speaker 3: but I don't think she has to care about that.

854
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: We're not friends and we're not family. That argument actually

855
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 3: went on for a while, but eventually the subject shifted

856
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: to Trudy's lack of friends. I reminded him that they

857
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 3: live in one of the most popular streets in our city,

858
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,080
Speaker 3: and there are dozens of things that she could do

859
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,600
Speaker 3: to meet new people. My father said that she knew that,

860
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 3: but Trudy didn't want to try any of them.

861
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 6: Ohoh wow, Wow, she doesn't want to try.

862
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 3: She doesn't want to try, So now it's on uop.

863
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,759
Speaker 3: Her life is in your hands. I told him that

864
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 3: in that case, there was nothing else I could do.

865
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 3: Trudy can either start putting herself out there or continue

866
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 3: her lonely routine. Either way, I won't be a part

867
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 3: of it. My father said he wouldn't try to push

868
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 3: me to hang out with Trudy anymore, but he can't

869
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 3: guarantee that she'll do the same. I can live with that,

870
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 3: and I reassured him that I'll never stop being polite

871
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 3: to Trudy, but I I won't like but I won't

872
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 3: start liking her just because they want me to. He

873
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,239
Speaker 3: said that he could live with that. My husband and

874
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,800
Speaker 3: I have come up with multiple theories about why Treaty

875
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 3: is so fixated on having her life revolve around my father's.

876
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 3: We call her the terminator housewife for a reason, but

877
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,919
Speaker 3: I've always thought it was very unhealthy for the both

878
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 3: of them. I hope she does decided to start meeting

879
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,400
Speaker 3: new people and doing stuff on her own, but I

880
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 3: won't be treated as her babysitter anymore. My son is

881
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 3: my number one priority. Thank you for your reassurance. I

882
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 3: don't think this is over, but I don't plan on

883
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 3: updating again, as I'm very busy and very tired. Cheers

884
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 3: and she said that that's the last update. But there

885
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 3: is a little bit more to the story, so or

886
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 3: at least there are some comments. Okay with that op

887
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 3: response to okay, so what do we think about this? Though?

888
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,879
Speaker 6: This is the truth. They got to deal with it.

889
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 6: If if they don't like it, tough luck. Yeah, you're

890
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 6: you don't owe Trudy anything. Again, you were like, I'll

891
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,959
Speaker 6: be polite, but yeah, I'm not golda call her mom.

892
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna be like buddy, buddy, and that should

893
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 6: be respected unless unless, say, she earns it. I think

894
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 6: respect is earned. Friendship is earned. It's not like just

895
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 6: like you can you know, get it immediately.

896
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 3: Just by being like the title of your dad's girlfriends.

897
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:14,840
Speaker 5: Yeah exactly.

898
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 6: Okay, i'm your dad's girlfriend now and now i'm your mom.

899
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 6: Yeah no, no, no, no, no that I'm also an adult,

900
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 6: so yeah, I can have my own choices.

901
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: Thanks exactly. So thanks, Yeah, no, I I agree. I

902
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 3: think I'm glad that something happened with that conversation. Yeah,

903
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 3: and that it's not just uh yeah, it's it didn't

904
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,959
Speaker 3: end with just them hanging up.

905
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 6: Or something like that or it didn't end it end

906
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 6: in like complete no contact. It was just like this

907
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 6: is it. And the dad was honestly like, all right, fine,

908
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,879
Speaker 6: and Trudy's not whispering my ear.

909
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah it's all right.

910
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 5: I will respect that.

911
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 6: I'm not saying she will, but and you know what

912
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 6: it's like, well, we'll we'll work from here.

913
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 2: It's good.

914
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 3: We're using some sort of compromise here. That's great, but

915
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 3: there is a little bit more here, so we have

916
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 3: some relevant comments. One person says, I'm glad that you

917
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 3: are satisfied with the outcome and wish you all the best,

918
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 3: and that it stays that way.

919
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 2: However, I would not be.

920
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 3: Surprised if the ternaminator housewife starts to crank up her

921
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 3: crazy she saying people react very differently to rejection than

922
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 3: crazy ones, and I would not count lowly truty to

923
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 3: do and I would not count lowly lonely Trudy. Uh

924
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:29,439
Speaker 3: to the sane ones. Opie says, Yeah, this isn't over

925
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 3: in the slightest, but I think my husband and I

926
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 3: are prepared, and I'm glad that my father knows that

927
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 3: I don't like her. Now, I don't support running around

928
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 3: telling people you don't like them like a preschooler, but

929
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 3: God didn't feel good to get that off my chest.

930
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 3: Another commentary says, not the a hole. How about Trudy

931
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 3: gets a job. She can make friends there or at

932
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,400
Speaker 3: least keep herself busy, so she'll leave you the heck alone.

933
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 3: Opie says she has refused to get a job for years.

934
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 3: She has three degrees in a decent work history, but

935
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 3: the most interest she's shown in working since she started

936
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 3: dating my father was when she wanted to be his

937
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 3: personal assistant a few years ago. Another commentary says, strange,

938
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 3: how did they meet if she doesn't socialize? Not the

939
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 3: a hole? Opie says, I genuinely don't know. She was

940
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 3: an affair partner before she was a girlfriend. Oh oh,

941
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 3: so they're both pretty secretive about the first months of

942
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 3: their relationship. Eh eooo.

943
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 6: Maybe that's why we also don't like Trudy. That's yeah,

944
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 6: which is very reasonable.

945
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 3: That's very fair. That's super fair. Also, maybe that's why

946
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 3: Trudy insists on like being around him all the times.

947
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 3: Maybe she's worried that he'll just go off and cheat

948
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 3: on her.

949
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 6: Fair or Yeah, I don't know that. Oh man, that's

950
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,319
Speaker 6: a little context I wish we got right.

951
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's big information. But I do

952
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 3: know is that she has friends in her hometown, which reminder,

953
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 3: is six hours away. Another commentary says that explains why

954
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 3: she sticks to your dad, Like lou she so he

955
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,920
Speaker 3: was cheating on someone else with her, You could just

956
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 3: tell her you have a difficult time befriending people who

957
00:42:56,160 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 3: don't practice fidelity as a core value. Hope, he said.

958
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 3: I don't think it's that simple. I think she has

959
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 3: her vision of a future in which she depends entirely

960
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 3: on her partner and never has to worry about anything

961
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: as long as her life revolves around him. I think

962
00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 3: she wanted someone to be codependent with. And more on

963
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 3: why OPI doesn't like Trudy by draining, I mean having

964
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 3: a conversation with her is exhausting. It's like listening to

965
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 3: a song you hate but smiling through it because your

966
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 3: friends like it. Trudy is the type of person who,

967
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 3: when she wants something, will try to mold something else

968
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,479
Speaker 3: into it instead of just looking for it. She often

969
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 3: expects whatever situation she's in to revolve around her. She

970
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 3: doesn't care about anyone else's boundaries, schedules, or needs if

971
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 3: they're stopping her from doing something that she wants. On

972
00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 3: a deeper level, Trudy is prejudiced against pretty much anyone

973
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 3: who's not like her. Oh that's another big reason. And

974
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 3: not like Truty too.

975
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 6: I wish we had this context at the beginning.

976
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I kind of just assumed like she, Opie said,

977
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 3: that she didn't like Trudy, and I was kind of

978
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 3: just like, we never really got a reason at the beginning,

979
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 3: and I was just assuming like, oh, it's just like

980
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 3: I thought.

981
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 6: He was, just like, I just don't like her because

982
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 6: he's trying to feel that that uh, that space is

983
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 6: moll Yeah, but this makes a lot more sense a

984
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 6: lot of.

985
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 3: Other reasons here. I've stated this elsewhere, but Trudy's extremely

986
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 3: judgmental of other women. She's also very conservative, which I'm not,

987
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 3: so she tends to judge me specifically. She doesn't do

988
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,440
Speaker 3: that openly, but it's obvious. Additionally, she's very talkative, again

989
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 3: not inherently bad, and okay she Additionally, Additionally, she's very talkative,

990
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: which again is not inherently bad, but she's also annoying.

991
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 3: She acts like a teenager, and the topics that she

992
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 3: likes talking about reflect that. And there are many other

993
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 3: reasons why I don't like her. I don't expect her

994
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 3: to change, and I don't think my opinion on her

995
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 3: needs to be her problem.

996
00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 2: But if I can.

997
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 3: Avoid spending time with her, I will. And that's the

998
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 3: end of that story.

999
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,240
Speaker 1: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

1000
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break from ass for more sponsors,

1001
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 1: I refuse to my.

1002
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 2: Sister, a coworker of my business. Now I'm the villain.

1003
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,879
Speaker 2: I twenty eight female, run my own business as a seamstress,

1004
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:10,399
Speaker 2: selling clothes I've made as well as doing alterations. I've

1005
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 2: been open for two years and I do steady business.

1006
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 2: My primary income for my business is the alterations I do.

1007
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Tossaway Account eighteen hundred

1008
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 2: and if you want to smit your own stories, go

1009
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia

1010
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 2: and I'm Anjie, and we try to give our best advice.

1011
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 2: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves. So

1012
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 2: if you have, let us know what you would do

1013
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 2: in the comments today. I have a sister, twenty nine

1014
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 2: female who will call Lana. Lana is currently a recovering

1015
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 2: heavy drinker and I'm trying my best to support her.

1016
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,080
Speaker 2: Due to Douis, she has been struggling to find a

1017
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 2: job and her mental health isn't helping her keep any

1018
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 2: job she finds. I feel really bad for her, and

1019
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 2: while we were visiting my parents on Monday, I made

1020
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 2: the offer that she could work for me. When I

1021
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 2: made the offer, I said that she could work inventory

1022
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:04,400
Speaker 2: and register like a normal employee. She seemed pretty on board,

1023
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 2: but said she would have to think about it since

1024
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,240
Speaker 2: she didn't want to leech off. Our parents were also

1025
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: really on board and encouraging, and they thought this would

1026
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 2: be a great opportunity for both of us. Wednesday, my

1027
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 2: mom called me and asked if the building would now

1028
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 2: be in both Loanna and my names. I asked her

1029
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 2: what she meant, and she said, since Lana is a

1030
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 2: co owner, her name should be on the lease. Huh.

1031
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 2: I told her it wouldn't because she wouldn't be co owner.

1032
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 2: I made it clear to my mother that Lana would

1033
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 2: be like any other employee. The reason I wanted her

1034
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 2: to work with me is so if she relapsed, she

1035
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 2: wouldn't risk losing her job again, since I know what

1036
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 2: she's going through. Mom beat around the bush trying to

1037
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: convince me to make Lana co owner, and I repeatedly

1038
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: told her no, not only for Lana's sake, but also

1039
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 2: for the sake of my business. I don't think Lana

1040
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 2: would be a bad co owner, but at this time

1041
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 2: she's still fairly unstable, and I don't want her to

1042
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,400
Speaker 2: get stressed and fully break her sobriety. I made this

1043
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 2: clear to my mother in our phone call before she

1044
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 2: eventually gave up. I thought that was the end of it.

1045
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:10,400
Speaker 2: A few hours later, Lana called to ask if I

1046
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 2: hired her, what she would be doing. I told her

1047
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: the same thing I said at dinner, that she would

1048
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:19,759
Speaker 2: mostly be doing inventory, register, etc. She asked if she

1049
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,880
Speaker 2: would help with any of the clothes. I told her

1050
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 2: when she learned to sew, I would consider it. She

1051
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 2: accepted and seemed excited with the arrangement. Since both of

1052
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 2: us have always loved fashion, we agreed I would host

1053
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 2: an interview with her at the end of the next

1054
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 2: week on my day off. My dad called me yesterday

1055
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: scolding me about the position I was putting Lana in

1056
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 2: and was telling me a meaner version of what my

1057
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 2: mother was saying. He continuously tried to hound me to

1058
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 2: give Lanna a higher position. I was getting really frustrated,

1059
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 2: and I told him that if he and Mom wouldn't

1060
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 2: stop pushing, I just wouldn't hire Lana at all. My

1061
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 2: dad called me a terrible sister before hanging up. I

1062
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 2: called Lana and told what happened and my words about

1063
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 2: not hiring her. She got upset with me, and I

1064
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,919
Speaker 2: apologized and told her I still wanted her to work

1065
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 2: with me. I just didn't want the drama with mom

1066
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,480
Speaker 2: and dad. She understood, but is still upset with me

1067
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 2: that I would even say that. Even in the heat

1068
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 2: of the moment. Am I the ale p said, I

1069
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 2: was getting really frustrated, and I told him that if

1070
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,439
Speaker 2: he and Mom wouldn't stop pushing, I just wouldn't hire

1071
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 2: Lana at all. Some of Opie's comments, one commoner says,

1072
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,319
Speaker 2: not the a hole, but you probably didn't need to

1073
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 2: relay the entire conversation with your parents to your sister.

1074
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 2: You were both happy with the arrangements, so your parents

1075
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 2: can butt out. Stick to your original plan, and stop

1076
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 2: trying to justify yourself to your entitled parents. Op says, Yeah,

1077
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 2: Lana and I have always been really close, so I

1078
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,399
Speaker 2: automatically tell her everything. But it's a bit late now.

1079
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,799
Speaker 2: But you and the other comment are right that I

1080
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,320
Speaker 2: need to start standing up for myself against my parents.

1081
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 2: More commoner says, your parents have put you in an

1082
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:58,439
Speaker 2: impossible position. I don't suppose they were offering to buy

1083
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 2: out half of the business to give to your sister. Sure, oh,

1084
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:03,040
Speaker 2: P says no. But they did help me find the

1085
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,319
Speaker 2: building my business is in, as well as help me

1086
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 2: move some of my stuff into the building and get

1087
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 2: it set up. That's just like if everyone that helps

1088
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 2: someone move into their place automatically got a share of

1089
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,840
Speaker 2: the business, there would be a lot of split businesses.

1090
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 3: It'd be a whole lot, especially with parents, because I

1091
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 3: feel like if you've got a small business and your

1092
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 3: parents have free time, my parents help me.

1093
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 2: Moved into this place, do they get a live here now?

1094
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 2: They haven't paid off anything related to my business, unless

1095
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 2: you count the sewing machine they got for me when

1096
00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 2: I was thirteen that started my love of clothes making.

1097
00:49:37,440 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 2: But I think that earlier help is why they think

1098
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 2: they have such a say in all this. Commoner says,

1099
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: look at it this way, not as if your sister

1100
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: was a stranger applying for a job. Granted, a lot

1101
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 2: of this wouldn't be on an application, But would you

1102
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 2: hire someone with multiple DUIs, mental health issues and a

1103
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 2: heavy drinker. I'm assuming the answer would be no, no,

1104
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 2: and no. Not the a hole Opie says, Yeah, I wouldn't,

1105
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 2: but I can't bring myself not to help her, even

1106
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 2: if she would be a terrible higher on paper if

1107
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 2: she wasn't family. And even then, it's something she likes

1108
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 2: to do, and I'll be there to support her rather

1109
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 2: than metaphorically tossing her to the wolves if she worked

1110
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 2: with other people. I don't know. I just want to

1111
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: help her out. But thank you for commenting, and Commoner

1112
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 2: says you seem to have turned out very well for

1113
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 2: having two completely delusional parents. Kudos. Opie says, lol, thanks,

1114
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,960
Speaker 2: but all this is actually coming really out of the

1115
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 2: blue for them. My dad has always been really level headed,

1116
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 2: and my mom was the one who taught me family

1117
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 2: should always be put first, which is why their demands

1118
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 2: are so weird, especially since at dinner I told them

1119
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 2: exactly what Lona would be doing and they seemed fine

1120
00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 2: with it. To another commentary, sometimes I wonder if my

1121
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 2: parents still think we're teenagers arguing over who gets to

1122
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 2: drive the family car. As I said in a previous comment,

1123
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 2: their behavior is really out of the blue, since they've

1124
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 2: always been really sweet and supportive when it came to

1125
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:05,440
Speaker 2: my business. I want to believe they might just be

1126
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 2: a misunderstanding something, or maybe they're just stress trying to

1127
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 2: help Lana as best they can and taking that stress

1128
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 2: out in the wrong places. I'm just hoping the gifts

1129
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: resolve before I interview Lana next week. Top Commoner says,

1130
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 2: not the able. Ask your dad if he would give

1131
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 2: away half his business to a wasted sibling who has

1132
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 2: no experience, because that's what your mother is demanding. Opie says, yeah,

1133
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 2: especially since Lonna is currently living with them while she recovers.

1134
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 2: They know exactly how she's doing and that she isn't

1135
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,439
Speaker 2: fit to run a business. I have no doubt she'll

1136
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 2: be a great employee, since she's always been the type

1137
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 2: to put her best foot forward in all she does,

1138
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 2: but with where she is at the moment, I think

1139
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 2: the stress would make her relapse. Commoner says, I suspect

1140
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 2: they know she's going to crash and burn at this job,

1141
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 2: and their only mental way out of the doomsday scenario

1142
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 2: is to believe that this is a permanent gig that

1143
00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 2: she can't be fired from. That doesn't excuse what they've done. However,

1144
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 2: I feel like the commenters are really hammering in on

1145
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 2: the like Lana's gonna drink on the job and she's

1146
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 2: gonna be terrible and that's really not at all the

1147
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 2: problem here.

1148
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, the problem is literally the parents.

1149
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1150
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 3: I feel like Op has made a great point about

1151
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:19,240
Speaker 3: how like, yeah, co owning is actually a big job.

1152
00:52:19,320 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 3: That's not that's not just like oh cool, I get

1153
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:23,720
Speaker 3: a lot of money. It's like, no, you.

1154
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 2: Have a lot of responsibility.

1155
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the reason that you know, it's not just

1156
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 3: like maybe some of these comments are saying of like, uh,

1157
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 3: you know, Lana just can't keep these other jobs because

1158
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 3: she's like unstable or whatever. It's like, well, I mean

1159
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 3: if she's not in a super a stable place and

1160
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 3: it's hard to keep jobs, that why that way, it

1161
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:49,000
Speaker 3: doesn't mean that she like can handle the responsibility right

1162
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 3: now and that's fine, like maybe some days she can,

1163
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 3: but yeah, no.

1164
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: I think I think there needs to be sort of

1165
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 2: balanced in the story. Like one, the parents need to

1166
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 2: realize she's not ready for that.

1167
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 3: Parents need to be sympathetically yeah, and then the commercers

1168
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 3: need to.

1169
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: Realize that she's not like she's in recovery yeah, and

1170
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 2: she's trying to do better and she you know, right,

1171
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: and OPS faith in her right also wrestling Mama said earlier.

1172
00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 3: Something about like, uh, oh shoot, I moved furniture into

1173
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 3: Canes into Raisin Kaines.

1174
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 2: I own a restaurant.

1175
00:53:18,600 --> 00:53:20,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, have you been checking up on that?

1176
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1177
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,720
Speaker 3: Have you been getting your your checks?

1178
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 2: And yeah, they've been sending you checks because you probably

1179
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 2: have a lot of you know, that's a big business.

1180
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to have a family talk with

1181
00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 2: them after the weekend is over, and hopefully I'll find

1182
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: out where this is all coming from and how to

1183
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 2: deal with it. OHP clarifies, thank you, But like I

1184
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 2: said in other comments, I believe my parents' behavior is

1185
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: primarily out of stress about Lana than genuine hostility or

1186
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 2: parent or poor parenting. I should have been clear in

1187
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,760
Speaker 2: my post that Lana does not have a felony for DUI.

1188
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 2: She has two misdemeanors. However, due to time frame, lack

1189
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:57,239
Speaker 2: of harm to herself and others, and the actual BAC level,

1190
00:53:57,680 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 2: she's not a felon in our state, and I wouldn't.

1191
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 2: I'm successful, but I'm definitely comfortable, but I still have

1192
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 2: to watch my budget. Other employees Lana's access to the register.

1193
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,439
Speaker 2: I actually don't have any other employees which is where

1194
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,799
Speaker 2: I think my parents might be assuming she'll be co

1195
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:16,960
Speaker 2: owner since I run my store almost entirely myself. I

1196
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 2: say almost because on rare occasions my friends might come

1197
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,839
Speaker 2: in to help move stuff around or do deliveries. As

1198
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 2: for the register, I have my PayPal hooked up to

1199
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,240
Speaker 2: the card reader, and even if she was paid with cash,

1200
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 2: I would still know how much is made in a day,

1201
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 2: and if numbers didn't add up in the very unlikely event,

1202
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:37,760
Speaker 2: Lana would try to steal from me. As for becoming

1203
00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 2: an enabler, I've been doing my own research on how

1204
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 2: to help recovering family without enabling them, and I have

1205
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 2: made it clear Tolana repeatedly, especially with the interview thing,

1206
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 2: that she will be treated like a normal worker when

1207
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 2: we're on the clock. One more thought from op Opie

1208
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 2: says thank you, and I'm really proud of her too.

1209
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: Last week actually marked her first three months without a relapse.

1210
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 2: That's that's really exciting. And there is an update to

1211
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 2: any other thoughts before we jump in. I feel the

1212
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 2: same way.

1213
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I hope that this update brings conversation with the parents.

1214
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 3: Yes and apologies, And it may be understanding between op

1215
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 3: and Lana without the parents' involvement, and maybe even Lona

1216
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 3: could go to the parents and say, hey, I don't

1217
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 3: want to be a co owner. Yeah, right, dealing with

1218
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 3: a lot of stuff right now, and that is a

1219
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 3: lot of responsibility.

1220
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 2: For me exactly. Update. So, before I get into the update,

1221
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 2: I would like to clear some questions that were raised

1222
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,399
Speaker 2: in the comments. I tried my best to answer them all,

1223
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 2: but I got a lot. First, Lana is not a

1224
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 2: felon in our states, heard uys that was already read. Second,

1225
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,719
Speaker 2: my parents' behavior was very out of the blue. They're

1226
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 2: usually very supportive and rational, but I think that the

1227
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 2: stress of Lana is making them act irrationally. As one

1228
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 2: common or put it, they see you're working for me

1229
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,520
Speaker 2: as a magic bullet to fix everything, and when I

1230
00:55:56,560 --> 00:55:58,759
Speaker 2: try to set the boundary of her being an employee

1231
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: rather than a co owner, they thought I was not

1232
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 2: going to give her a good job at all. Third,

1233
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 2: my business is very small. I run it all by myself,

1234
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 2: and like I said in my first post, most of

1235
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 2: my money comes from alterations rather than my own designs. Fourth,

1236
00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: what I said about Lana not getting the job was

1237
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 2: heat of the moment, frustration when talking to my dad.

1238
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 2: He was yelling at me over the phone and being

1239
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 2: incredibly pushy, and it felt like I was talking to

1240
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:27,360
Speaker 2: a brick wall. I still have full intentions to hire Lana,

1241
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 2: and the interview for this coming Friday is still on.

1242
00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 2: I just set it to try and get my dad

1243
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:35,760
Speaker 2: off my back, and I apologize to Lana about even

1244
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 2: saying it to begin with, since it wasn't fair to her.

1245
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 2: Fifth some people were implying Laanna's drinking had to do

1246
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 2: with our parents, but it does not. Up until this point,

1247
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 2: we've never had any major rifts with our family, and

1248
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 2: we've always been incredibly tight knit. The reason for her

1249
00:56:51,280 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 2: drinking was because of something outside of us. I won't

1250
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,839
Speaker 2: say what, since it is not my place, but our

1251
00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 2: parents have nothing to do with their regular use other

1252
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:03,400
Speaker 2: than give both of us the regular use gene. Anyways,

1253
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 2: here's the update. Uh. Lana called me after dinner late

1254
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 2: last night and we talked. She spoke with her parents

1255
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 2: and told me that my suspicions of a lot of

1256
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 2: this being a stress film misunderstanding were correct, and she

1257
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 2: invited me over this morning for breakfast with them all.

1258
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 2: I got back literal minutes ago. As I'm riding this.

1259
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 2: It was pretty awkward at first. Our parents were still

1260
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 2: on this high horse about Lana getting a good position. However,

1261
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 2: we were able to talk it out. Lana explained how

1262
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 2: she doesn't feel ready for such a position while she's

1263
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 2: still recovering, and how it would make her feel like

1264
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:44,040
Speaker 2: she's leeching off me. She also pointed out that their

1265
00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: pushiness was impacting her and my relationship and stressing her

1266
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 2: out more since she felt like she had to pick

1267
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 2: a side. She appreciated their concern, however, as she pointed

1268
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 2: out that concern was coming out a detriment to all

1269
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 2: of us. I told them how I felt like they

1270
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: didn't respect my business and how hurtful their words and

1271
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 2: actions were, especially my dad yelling at me. As Ray's

1272
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 2: voices have always been something I'm sensitive about. I explained

1273
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 2: my perspective of how I didn't want to stress out

1274
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 2: Lana with a position she really isn't ready for, nor

1275
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,840
Speaker 2: does she have the experience for, and it felt like

1276
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:20,320
Speaker 2: I was getting punished for trying to help her out.

1277
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 2: I brought up what another commenter said about how it

1278
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 2: was like expecting me to put her on the lease

1279
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 2: of my apartment she doesn't even live in. That's what

1280
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 2: I said.

1281
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 3: This is great, this is exactly what we said to do.

1282
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 3: We got We've got communication going. Yeah, bhazza bhazzah.

1283
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:36,920
Speaker 2: Look at you guys. Go And I'm glad that Lana's

1284
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,439
Speaker 2: involved in this conversation to me too. My parents really

1285
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 2: took some time to think over what Lana and I

1286
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,720
Speaker 2: were saying. Well, they made breakfast. When we sat down

1287
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 2: to eat, they apologized to us and explained that they

1288
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 2: were terrified of Lana having another relapse. Apparently, before we

1289
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 2: were born, my mom's cousins suffered from regular use and

1290
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 2: mental health, which eventually led to her downfall, and they

1291
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 2: were terrified the same might happen to Lana. This was

1292
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 2: why they were pushing for a more permanent position. It

1293
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,960
Speaker 2: was a hard talk, but those were the important bits.

1294
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 2: It ended with some tears from my mom and so

1295
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:15,439
Speaker 2: so many apologies. We've all agreed it would be good

1296
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 2: to look into family therapy. Lana is already seeing a

1297
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:22,640
Speaker 2: regular youth psychologist and plans to consult them about good

1298
00:59:22,640 --> 00:59:26,000
Speaker 2: family support groups and therapists at her next session. My

1299
00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,919
Speaker 2: parents keep occasionally texting me asking if I need help

1300
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 2: with anything and if I'm okay, which is their way

1301
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 2: of apologizing even more. But there is a little bit

1302
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 2: left to this story. Any final thoughts.

1303
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:38,240
Speaker 3: I think this is great.

1304
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, good job ten out of ten. You you really

1305
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 2: killed it.

1306
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, We've got family. It makes it like I feel

1307
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 3: like that's happened to me before in my family, where

1308
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:50,560
Speaker 3: I'm just like, I don't understand you parents, and then

1309
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 3: they're like, actually, this really sad thing happened and I'm terrified,

1310
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 3: and I'm like, ahh okay, I get it now, you know.

1311
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 3: So it's like that. That's like that makes a lot

1312
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 3: of sense, and it's good communication.

1313
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 2: Agreed, good, good job ten at ten h This interview

1314
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 2: between Lana and I is still on, and I've already

1315
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 2: set some boundaries with her about what it means working

1316
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,200
Speaker 2: under me to ensure she has structure without enabling her.

1317
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 2: When we get the therapist, I'll also be speaking with

1318
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 2: them for more tips. I'm a bit surprised things resolved

1319
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 2: this fast, but not really. My family and lingering tension

1320
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 2: is like oil and water. None of us can ever

1321
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,160
Speaker 2: go to bed upset. I think things are going to

1322
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 2: be weird for a while, but in the end, I

1323
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 2: think it'll be all right. I'm excited to work with Lana,

1324
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 2: and I'm nervous but eager to start family therapy since

1325
01:00:40,240 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 2: I think it will be good for all of us.

1326
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,000
Speaker 2: Thank you all for your kind comments and support. Other

1327
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 2: than responding to comments, this will probably be the last

1328
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 2: post I make, since I just made this account to

1329
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 2: get advice. Thank you, and when commoner asks or says,

1330
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 2: this is a great update, thanks for posting it. Best

1331
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,640
Speaker 2: wishes to Lana if you can pass this on from

1332
01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:03,200
Speaker 2: a stranger on the internet, and great respect to you,

1333
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 2: op he says, I will, but I think my family

1334
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 2: would freak out if they knew I posted about our

1335
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 2: squabbles on the Internetel.

1336
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,040
Speaker 3: I'll tell her you're just a friend, and that's the

1337
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 3: end of that story.

1338
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 2: Folks,