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Speaker 1: Hey, hey va fam, It's Mandy here back with another

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Speaker 1: episode of Brown Ambition. I am so excited about today's show.

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Speaker 1: I get to speak with one of the most inspirational

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Speaker 1: women I have talked to you in a very long time,

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Speaker 1: Dasha Kennedy of The Broke Black Girl. If y'all did

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Speaker 1: not follow Dasha yet, you can find her on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and all other platforms at the Broke Black Girl. Check

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Speaker 1: out the Broke BlackGirl dot com. DaShan, I go way back,

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Speaker 1: way way back. Not only do we share a connection

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Speaker 1: with my mom living in Saint Louis today Deasha being

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Speaker 1: born and raised in Saint Louis, Dasha recently moved to

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Speaker 1: my home state, Georgia, where she's raising two amazing young boys,

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Speaker 1: nine and thirteen years old. But Dasha also has lived

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Speaker 1: so much life for just being in her her mid thirties, y'all,

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Speaker 1: so much life. She has been through divorce, She was

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Speaker 1: a very young mother, and she, as a single mom

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Speaker 1: now has managed to come out on the other side

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Speaker 1: so much richer in all the different definitions of that term.

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Speaker 1: And she and I get real not just about the

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Speaker 1: impact of getting divorced young and raising two children as

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Speaker 1: a single mother, but also what it's been like for

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Speaker 1: her to get to a place where she can finally

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Speaker 1: feel like she's enjoying the success that she's worked so

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Speaker 1: hard for. So without further ado, let's get into my

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Speaker 1: interview with Dashah Kennedy again from The Broke Black Girl.

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Speaker 1: I am so excited to be here with our guest today.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Dasha Kennedy. You may better know her

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Speaker 1: as the Broke Black Girl or I'm guessing like the

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Speaker 1: Broke Black Girl no more, because you have come a

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Speaker 1: very very long way and we're going to talk all

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Speaker 1: about it. But Daisha, thanks so much for coming on

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Speaker 1: Brown Ambition.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. When I got

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Speaker 2: the invitation, I was super excited about being here.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you were aware of brownmbish You know that

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Speaker 1: we exist, yes, because I definitely.

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Speaker 3: Know you exist.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Well, obviously Tiffany can't be here, but we sent

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Speaker 1: her lots of love and virtual hugs and all of that.

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Speaker 1: She's continuing, Hiatis, but I get daysha Alton myself. So first,

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Speaker 1: we've already connected on like multiple levels. My mom lives

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Speaker 1: in Saint Louis. You born and raised in Saint Louis. Yes,

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Speaker 1: but you recently had a huge move. Oh yeah, packed

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Speaker 1: up your whole life. Talk to me about that, because

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Speaker 1: we're around the same age. You have two you have

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Speaker 1: two boys, you're raising them as a single mom, nine

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Speaker 1: and thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Is that right?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: So you packed up your two boys and you moved

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Speaker 1: to Atlanta in your early thirties, mid thirties. Tell me

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Speaker 1: why and what was that experience like for you.

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Speaker 2: Well, I was born and raised in Saint Louis, and

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Speaker 2: I absolutely love my hometown. I love Saint Louis, but

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Speaker 2: I needed a change. I lived in the same apartment

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Speaker 2: for ten years and it was just time for a change.

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Speaker 2: So already having a friend who lived in Georgia, but

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Speaker 2: it felt like home. I knew that when I came back,

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Speaker 2: I was going to be staying here. So and I

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Speaker 2: moved June twenty twenty one. I packed me and my

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Speaker 2: boys up with just one suitcase. We gave away everything

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Speaker 2: and we started completely over.

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Speaker 1: First of all, so brave. It takes a lot of

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Speaker 1: courage to move, especially with two young boys moving cross country.

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Speaker 1: All right, So you have obviously a successful business that

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Speaker 1: broke black girl, and you're independent. I mean you really

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Speaker 1: are in a situation like I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: people realized after the pandemic and even before that, in

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Speaker 1: your case, where you don't necessarily you're not tied career

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Speaker 1: wise to one city, but still moving. I mean that,

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Speaker 1: especially moving a family with your two boys, that must

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Speaker 1: have been I mean, it sounds like you had to

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Speaker 1: prepare months and months. What was that financial preparation like

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Speaker 1: for you to move and what all went into it.

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Speaker 2: The very first thing that I knew was possible, that

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Speaker 2: I knew that I needed to do was reduced my

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Speaker 2: living expenses as low as possible. So this came with this.

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Speaker 2: This is a tough decision, but it was a lot

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Speaker 2: of inner work that I had to do because I

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Speaker 2: moved back home with my mom, and I loved my

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Speaker 2: mom and it was an amazing experience. But at that time,

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Speaker 2: here I am, I have two children, My boys are

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Speaker 2: you know, they're older, They're accustomed to us having our

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Speaker 2: own space and doing our own thing at our house,

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Speaker 2: not really having to abide by someone else's rules. But

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Speaker 2: I knew that in order for me to make this

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Speaker 2: possible and save money, I needed to reduce my living

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Speaker 2: expenses as low as I could and what was better

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Speaker 2: than zero? So I gave up my apartment. I moved

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Speaker 2: in with my mom for six months, and I was

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Speaker 2: able to save. From January twenty twenty one to June

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty one, I was able to save fifty thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars to prepare for our move. And I'm so thankful

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Speaker 2: to this day for my mom because without her, that

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Speaker 2: would not have been have been possible. So preparing for

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Speaker 2: that took a lot of inner work because I gave

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Speaker 2: up every all of my expenses, my needs, and my ones,

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Speaker 2: and I solely just live with my mom, slept in

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Speaker 2: my own room, sometimes sharing their room with my sons

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Speaker 2: for six months so that we could financially prepare to

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Speaker 2: move six hundred miles away.

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Speaker 1: What was behind the decision to get rid of everything?

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Speaker 1: I mean moving with one suitcase?

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Speaker 3: I just told you.

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Speaker 1: I took a two day trip to Georgia with my

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Speaker 1: son and my husband and we took like four suitcases.

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Speaker 3: It was ridiculous how and why.

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Speaker 2: For me it was it was symbolic too letting go.

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Speaker 2: One of the things that I learned about me really

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Speaker 2: with money is that sometimes we have a connection to

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Speaker 2: something because we bought it we feel like we have

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Speaker 2: to keep it forever to get our money's worth. But

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Speaker 2: for me, I mean, once I bought it, the money

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Speaker 2: is gone. So it was hard for me to let

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Speaker 2: go of a lot of things. So I had to

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Speaker 2: work through that. But I've lived in that space for

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Speaker 2: ten years, through so many different stages of my life.

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Speaker 2: So much of me was connected to stuff that when

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Speaker 2: I moved, I just wanted to start over, so I

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Speaker 2: gave away everything. Like when I think about the bed

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Speaker 2: that I had, I loved my bed, but I've cried

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Speaker 2: in this bed. I went to bed angry, you know,

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Speaker 2: in this bed. So much of my life over the

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Speaker 2: last ten years, so many different stages, was connected to things.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to take anything like that with me

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Speaker 2: when I relocated.

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Speaker 1: That's beautiful, and it's sort of it's so symbolic, and

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Speaker 1: it's also isn't that what we mean by a fresh start? Yes,

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Speaker 1: even the like the symbolism of you have Like what

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Speaker 1: if you had hauled all that stuff with you, you know,

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Speaker 1: would it have felt like a brand new space? So

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Speaker 1: you went and got all new furniture. I see your

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Speaker 1: beautiful little sitting area back there, But you've so You've

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Speaker 1: been in Georgia for six months? What's fifty thousand dollars enough?

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Speaker 1: What do you if you can look back on that

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Speaker 1: big move, how you prepared?

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Speaker 3: You know? What are you?

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Speaker 1: And now your six months removed from it? How do

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Speaker 1: you feel about the way you approach it? With me

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Speaker 1: here you have done differently or the same?

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Speaker 2: I would say fifty thousand dollar of us more than enough.

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Speaker 2: It could It really could have been less. It wasn't

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Speaker 2: as expensive as I thought it would be. Planning ahead

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Speaker 2: made it so much easier. There were some things that

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Speaker 2: did catch me off guard because I hadn't rented a

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Speaker 2: place in ten years. I was completely out of the

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Speaker 2: loop as to what was going on now with renting,

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Speaker 2: the all of the different additional fees that were included

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Speaker 2: when trying to get a rental property. Should I purchase

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Speaker 2: a home like I was facing a lot of things

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Speaker 2: that I hadn't had to think about for ten years.

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Speaker 2: So if there was anything that I would have done, definitely,

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Speaker 2: it would have been to stay involved, even though it

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Speaker 2: really didn't matter to me at that time, but to

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Speaker 2: stay involved with the current times when it comes to

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Speaker 2: renting and buying a property in the house and market.

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Speaker 2: It didn't matter to me before because my rent never

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Speaker 2: changed for ten years. I had an amazing landlord, so

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Speaker 2: my rent was very low and never changed for ten years.

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Speaker 2: So I was completely out of the loop with certain

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Speaker 2: fees and anything that I would have paperwork that I

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Speaker 2: would have needed. So if there would have been anything

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Speaker 2: that I would have done differently, it would have been

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Speaker 2: to continue to just stay involved because you never know

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Speaker 2: when you're gonna have to pick up and move. I

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Speaker 2: moved by choice, but sometimes people have to move by circumstances,

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Speaker 2: so I would have stayed involved. But when it comes

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Speaker 2: to the financial point, fifty thousand dollars was I think

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Speaker 2: I over prepared. I mean, it gave me a great

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Speaker 2: cushion because I was able to take some time off work,

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Speaker 2: which is what I wanted to do anyway, So it

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Speaker 2: gave me some time off work without having to worry

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Speaker 2: about money. But I over prepared in the area. But

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Speaker 2: again that was me not knowing what to expect.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's not just you. It's not like you're

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Speaker 1: just packing up a suitcase for yourself. You have kids too.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, I only have a baby one. I have

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Speaker 3: a two year old.

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Speaker 1: But he's pretty expensive too, so much maintenance. But six

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Speaker 1: months saying, I mean, does it feel like home yet?

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Speaker 1: And do you think you made the right move? If

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Speaker 1: it's not too soon to ask.

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Speaker 2: No, I think that I made the right move. If

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Speaker 2: it feels like home, I think we're getting there. Living

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Speaker 2: in a space for that long, I didn't realize how

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Speaker 2: attached I was to so many things, not only the

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Speaker 2: things that were in my house, but also around me.

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Speaker 2: I had to come out here, and now I have

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Speaker 2: to find a new grocery store, a new library, all

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Speaker 2: new places. Where am I going to get gassed with school?

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Speaker 2: Or my boys going to go to How am I

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Speaker 2: going to connect with my neighbors again? These were things

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Speaker 2: that I did not have to think about for over

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Speaker 2: a decade to now I have to be conscious of

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Speaker 2: all of those things. So it's slowly, but surely it's

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Speaker 2: starting to feel like home. But it has been an adjustment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean for you, obviously, there's been these big

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Speaker 1: milestones in your life. I mean, you got divorced very young.

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Speaker 1: How long has that been ten years? But it was

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Speaker 1: before you moved into that apartment, or.

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Speaker 2: It was My divorce was final in two and fourteen,

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Speaker 2: in two thousand and fifteen, so I was still living

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Speaker 2: in my old apartment. I didn't move out of my

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Speaker 2: old apartment until January twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 3: Oh gotcha.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean so much of your early to mid twenties,

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Speaker 1: I mean you went through a lot. Yes, you had

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Speaker 1: two kids, you had been divorced. I mean, You've had

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Speaker 1: a whole lifetime which I'm sure was so traumatic for

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Speaker 1: so many reasons. And I'm sure I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 1: you would differently, but you wouldn't like raise your hand

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Speaker 1: to repeat maybe some of those experiences because they were,

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Speaker 1: you know, challenging. But at the same time, part of

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Speaker 1: me is like, damn, you got a masterclass in hard

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Speaker 1: knocks and in resiliency. So if you can sort of

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Speaker 1: look back at let's start with, you know, maybe wherever

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Speaker 1: you want to go, either the divorce or being a

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Speaker 1: young mother, But if you can go back and sort

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Speaker 1: of look at the way that that impacted your approach

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Speaker 1: to finances and sort of led you on this path

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Speaker 1: toward educating tens of thousands of black women at this

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Speaker 1: point how to improve their finances, How do you think

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Speaker 1: that has impacted you for the better and maybe for

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Speaker 1: the worse.

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Speaker 2: If I had to go back, I would start when

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Speaker 2: I was nineteen. That was when I had to tell

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Speaker 2: my mom that I was expecting a child, so I

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Speaker 2: was fresh out of school. I had decided early on

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Speaker 2: that I didn't want to go to college. And it

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Speaker 2: just goes to show how little I knew about finance

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Speaker 2: at the time. I was out of high school, but

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Speaker 2: I worked at a retail store and they told me,

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Speaker 2: you know, when you graduate, we'll let you work full time.

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Speaker 2: So I'm thinking, like, oh wow, I'm going to be

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Speaker 2: making so much money. I think I was making like

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Speaker 2: seven dollars an hour at the time, and I was like, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be at work full time. I'm going

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Speaker 2: to make so much money. I'm not going to college.

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't need to do that because I'm

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Speaker 2: going to be making more money. And it wasn't that

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Speaker 2: I just decided not to go to college. It was

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Speaker 2: that I didn't have a plan for anything. I just thought,

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Speaker 2: from port time to full time means more money. I

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Speaker 2: guess I'm doing something right. And so my mom she

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Speaker 2: set me down and she said, hey, listen, if you're

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Speaker 2: not going to go to college, if you're not going

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Speaker 2: to plan to do anything else. If working is what

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Speaker 2: you're going to do, you need to start considering a

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Speaker 2: job that's gonna come with some perks, some benefits, some

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Speaker 2: type of a four one K package, which my job

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Speaker 2: at the time was not offering any of that. And

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Speaker 2: so my mom she introduced me to a position at

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Speaker 2: a company she was working for, which was a financial institution.

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Speaker 2: So this was my first introduction to black women helping

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Speaker 2: other black women in the finance space. Now, although this

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Speaker 2: was my mom, this was my first experience with that.

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Speaker 2: So my mom introduced me to the finance industry. I

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Speaker 2: really got my first job at nineteen, and then shortly

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Speaker 2: after I was pregnant. So it was very tough for

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Speaker 2: me at that time because I'm making more money, I

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Speaker 2: have benefits, i have insurance, I have a four oh

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Speaker 2: one K, all of these things that I didn't even

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Speaker 2: know existed, and I went immediately into now having to

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Speaker 2: use this newfound money to take care of someone else.

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Speaker 2: So my experience with money was shifted very early. Before

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Speaker 2: I can even get a hold on what finance or

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Speaker 2: personal finance meant for me as an individual, I immediately

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Speaker 2: went into having to care for another child. And this

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Speaker 2: shows a lot and the work that I do today

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Speaker 2: in personal finance because it's very centered around community. A

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Speaker 2: lot of it is individual, but I really play a

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Speaker 2: part on how important community is for people that are

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Speaker 2: on their personal finance journey because community was really the

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Speaker 2: only thing that helped me make it through financially when

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Speaker 2: I was very young, because I was experiencing a lot

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Speaker 2: of things before I had even experienced life. I was

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Speaker 2: experiencing things that had completely shaped my view on money,

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Speaker 2: what money meant to me way early. So after having

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Speaker 2: my first child, my mom again she stepped in and

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Speaker 2: she said, hey, listen, you have a child. Now he's here.

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Speaker 2: You know, there's pint of anything that we can do

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Speaker 2: about that. But I know that you don't know how

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Speaker 2: to be a mother. You would think that it would

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Speaker 2: come to you naturally, but the truth of the matter

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Speaker 2: was I was twenty. I didn't know anything. So my

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Speaker 2: mom she told me to quit my job, to give

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Speaker 2: up my apartment, and to move in with her. Again,

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Speaker 2: my mom's coming through the amazing woman she is. Took. Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 2: she told me to give up my apartment, to quit

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Speaker 2: my job, move in with her and let her teach

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Speaker 2: me how to be a mom, and that is exactly

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Speaker 2: what she did. She taught me everything that I needed

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Speaker 2: to know. But again, I'm still learning about personal finance

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Speaker 2: and money because my mom was caring for us financially,

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Speaker 2: but for me, not having my own source of income

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Speaker 2: to care for my child bothered me on a personal level.

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Speaker 2: So now I'm learning the emotional side of personal finance

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Speaker 2: and money because I had an option, which was my mom.

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Speaker 2: She could have did everything financially, but personally and emotionally

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Speaker 2: and mentally, not having my own money it bothered me.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't explain why back then, but he did. So

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Speaker 2: I picked up a job at McDonald's. So now here

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Speaker 2: I am with a child and I'm working overnights at

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Speaker 2: McDonald's just to have some type of check. So I'm

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Speaker 2: having all of these experiences with money very early. And

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Speaker 2: then shortly after that, I got married, had another child.

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Speaker 1: How did you approach getting married at that point because

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Speaker 1: with your mom you had well, yes, you were in

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Speaker 1: a waving supported or at least you know, in a

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Speaker 1: safe space with your mom, were able to save money,

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Speaker 1: You're raising your son, and when you approached marriage, and

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Speaker 1: I you know, even through my coaching program, and myself,

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Speaker 1: I think when you are when you have your own

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Speaker 1: income as a woman and you have a child and

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Speaker 1: you're going into a new relationship, did you what were

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Speaker 1: the emotions like that, and how difficult was it for

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Speaker 1: you to think about merging your finances, if at all,

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Speaker 1: with a new partner. How did y'all navigate that?

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Speaker 2: So after living with my mom for a while, and

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Speaker 2: I left in a much better position. So by the

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Speaker 2: time I left my mom's house, I had saved up

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Speaker 2: money from McDonald's, I was able to get my old

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Speaker 2: job back that I quit. I was able to go

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Speaker 2: back there, and I purchased the car and got a

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Speaker 2: new apartment. So now my mom gave me what would

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Speaker 2: have been considered a head stored, and instead of me

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Speaker 2: using the head store and just hitting the ground and going,

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Speaker 2: I was just so excited by now I have money,

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Speaker 2: my own money, I have car, I have a better apartment,

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Speaker 2: and I went immediately into a paycheck to paycheck lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: So it was like I still didn't know. Now I'm

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Speaker 2: still young, and I still didn't know, you know, what

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Speaker 2: to do with this new found what I would have

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00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,879
Speaker 2: thought to be back then financial freedom. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: what to do with that, and so I started dating.

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Speaker 2: And when I met my ex husband, there was I

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Speaker 2: don't even remember us ever talking about money at all.

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Speaker 2: He seemed like a good guy, he thought I was

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Speaker 2: a good girl, and we was like, hey, let you know,

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Speaker 2: let's stay. And then next thing you know, he was

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Speaker 2: living in my apartment. Now we're together, now we're getting married.

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Speaker 2: I never once, we never once had a conversation about

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Speaker 2: money bills, who's responsible for what? It was just like,

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Speaker 2: we know the rent is dude, So however, the rent

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Speaker 2: gets paid. You know it gets paid. We know that.

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Speaker 2: And I, to be honest, I probably was paying them

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Speaker 2: just out of out of habit. But what happened in

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Speaker 2: that situation was we never discussed money at all. And

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Speaker 2: now we get married. And I remember my mom she

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Speaker 2: asked me, she was like, you know, are you sure

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Speaker 2: this is what you want to do? Again, I'm still

353
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Speaker 2: super young, so I'm like, yes, you know, I'm in love.

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Speaker 2: This is what I want to do. We get married September.

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Speaker 2: By January I fouled for divorce. Wow that fast?

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Speaker 3: What were some of the red flags?

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously, well, I mean it takes two to tango, right, mean,

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Speaker 1: it's a two way street communication. So didn't talk about finances,

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Speaker 1: but what else?

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Speaker 3: What else?

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Speaker 1: And financially it must have been really terrifying to also

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Speaker 1: go through a separation.

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Speaker 3: Did you come to rely on him financially? At that point?

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Speaker 2: It wasn't as much as I relied on him financially.

365
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Speaker 2: I didn't know that I was relying on him financially

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Speaker 2: until we set. When we separated, it dismantled a shared

367
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Speaker 2: financial life that I didn't even realize existed at that point.

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Speaker 2: Two incomes were coming into to the home, so it

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Speaker 2: wasn't just you know, my money that was taking care

370
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Speaker 2: of things. So when we separated, I was now one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent responsible for the rent, the bills, childcare, transportation,

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Speaker 2: and so I was hit with the whole ton of

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Speaker 2: expenses that before I only have to worry about fifty

374
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Speaker 2: percent of that to now I'm responsible for all of

375
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 2: these things overnight. Because one of the things that I

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00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 2: don't think a lot of people consider is that when

377
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Speaker 2: you go through a divorce, there's the middle part that

378
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: a lot of people gloss over. So it's not oh,

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Speaker 2: we got married and we got a divorce. We got married,

380
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Speaker 2: we got separated, and it took us almost a year

381
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Speaker 2: to finalize the divorce. So within that year, if you

382
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Speaker 2: and that person are not on good terms or speaking terms,

383
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 2: and they completely withdraw their financial support, you still have

384
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 2: to figure out how to make it, you know, for

385
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Speaker 2: a year. But when I think about red flags, for me,

386
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:58,520
Speaker 2: the biggest thing was, I think it got to a

387
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Speaker 2: point where now another child is involved. So I'm already

388
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 2: coming into the marriage with my first son. Then now

389
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 2: me and him are married and now we have a

390
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 2: child together. So for me, it was almost like a

391
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,120
Speaker 2: light bulb went off overnight, or I was realizing that

392
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Speaker 2: a lot of the things that were happening, just financially,

393
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 2: just it didn't seem right. Me getting support with the children,

394
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 2: it didn't seem equal. I felt like I was working

395
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 2: all day and still having to come home and tend

396
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 2: to the children of one hundred percent. So that's why

397
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,960
Speaker 2: I'm so passionate about this now, because to hear women

398
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 2: that are twice my age still go through some of

399
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 2: these things or going through some of these things, knowing

400
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 2: that I went through it at twenty four, it's almost

401
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 2: heartbreaking in a way to realize like it's still happening.

402
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,640
Speaker 2: So I was feeling like it wasn't it wasn't equal,

403
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 2: it wasn't fair. Now I'm young then, so I don't

404
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,360
Speaker 2: really know how to relate to I don't know what's happening,

405
00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 2: but I know something doesn't feel right. I didn't know

406
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,400
Speaker 2: what it was called, what type of label to put

407
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 2: on it, but something didn't feel right. And then an

408
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 2: incident occurred. I was at this time, I tried to

409
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 2: go back to school, I tried to actually go to

410
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,120
Speaker 2: college while I'm working. I have two children, and an

411
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 2: incident occurred and it was like, Okay, this is the

412
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 2: last straw. Because now it's like the light bulb went off.

413
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,719
Speaker 2: I'm realizing something has to happen, something has to be different,

414
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 2: because I am financially responsible for two children. I want

415
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 2: better for them. And then when we got married in September,

416
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: an incident happened in January. I filed for divorce the

417
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: next day and I couldn't even afford to pay for

418
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 2: a divorce lawyer. I told my mom what happened, and

419
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 2: again my mom paid for the divorce lawyer. Like my

420
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 2: mom to me, I'm so thankful for her. She plays

421
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 2: a major role in my life. But she has been

422
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 2: the black woman that has given me my first introduction

423
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Speaker 2: to finance and the community that is necessary for black

424
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:06,240
Speaker 2: women in finance. Almost at almost every turn of my life.

425
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Speaker 3: I feel like I have to know your mom's name.

426
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Speaker 2: Her name is Charise. Oh my goodness. She she's amazing.

427
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 2: Her name is Charise. She's amazing.

428
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 3: Shout out to Charise. We love you, Sharis.

429
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: Yes, we all mothers out there dealing with us in

430
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: Arsenana again there to pick us up off the floor.

431
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,199
Speaker 1: I just I called my mom before this call and

432
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Speaker 1: I was like, Mommy, I'm really overwhelmed. She's like, you

433
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: got this.

434
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 3: I was like, cool, thank you. By if we all

435
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 3: need our mama, yes we do.

436
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 1: All right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right

437
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 1: back with more from Dasha Kennedy.

438
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 3: Okay, we are back.

439
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 1: I'm talking to Dasha Kennedy from The Broke Black Girl.

440
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: Let's get back into our conversation. So we're at You're

441
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: out around twenty five. You're divorced, and you've written about

442
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: this before. But in the wake of that divorce, you

443
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 1: wrapped up some pretty significant credit card debt. Yes, and

444
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 1: what was it twenty five thousand dollars. This is back

445
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 1: in the broke.

446
00:22:58,920 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 3: Stage or the broke lass.

447
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 2: No money.

448
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 1: You're really living no money to babies. Talk to me

449
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 1: about how you began to claw your way back out,

450
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 1: because I find this. I mean, obviously it's truly inspirational,

451
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: but you really were starting from like not just nothing,

452
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: but like negative.

453
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 2: Yes. So when when you think about money, and when

454
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 2: you think about that, a lot of times you would

455
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: you will hear the recommendation of like living on rice

456
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,880
Speaker 2: and binge, cutting out everything so that you could throw

457
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 2: all of your money towards That completely went over my head.

458
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 2: I was young. I'm like, the dead is there is

459
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 2: going to sit there. I'm not dealing with it. I

460
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,000
Speaker 2: was caught up when like paycheck to paycheck, payday, loans,

461
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: credit cards. I was trying to do anything possible to

462
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 2: bridge the gap between my living expenses and my income

463
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: because before I was only responsible for fifty percent of

464
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 2: the household expenses, or so I thought it could have

465
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 2: been more, could have been less. But in my mind,

466
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: there's two incomes coming into the household we were taking

467
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: care of the expenses. To now I am one hundred

468
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 2: percent responsible for everything. So the thought of reducing expenses

469
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 2: never crossed my mind in the beginning. I was again

470
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 2: emotionally attached to everything that I had that I thought like, Okay,

471
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 2: instead of reducing anything or cutting out anything, I'm just

472
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 2: going to figure out a way to just cover what

473
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 2: I had. And sometimes that looked like working over time,

474
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 2: where it looked like getting an advance on my paycheck

475
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 2: or getting up a payday loan and then get it

476
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 2: in another payday loan to pay off that payday loan.

477
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: It was a horrible cycle. It was a horrible cycle.

478
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: And it wasn't until and this is going to sound

479
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: so crazy, but I got to a point in my

480
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 2: life where I was like, you know what, I am

481
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:59,520
Speaker 2: completely living in a ditch. I'm like, my finances are

482
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: in a ditch, my life is in a ditch. Spiritually,

483
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 2: I feel horrible about where I'm at. I have went

484
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,479
Speaker 2: through this divorce. And this is what you have to

485
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:11,879
Speaker 2: be so careful about the things that you speak, because

486
00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 2: in the midst of me crying about this experience and

487
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: being in a ditch, I fell in a ditch and

488
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 2: broke my foot. Now I fell in a ditch and

489
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 2: I broke my foot, and this took me out of work.

490
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 2: This took me out of work. So it took me

491
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: out of work. I'm at home. I can't do anything

492
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 2: because my foot is broke. So I had no choice

493
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 2: but to face the music because I wasn't going to work.

494
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 2: I didn't have any distractions. It's just me at home

495
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: with this broken foot. And I had a decent job

496
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 2: at the time, and I had benefit, so I was

497
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 2: going to get disability pain. But it was the weight

498
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 2: for disability pay, which was really just one week. That

499
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: one week, all of my bills and expenses came crashing down.

500
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 2: And then when I sat down and I did the math,

501
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: and I realized that I was making enough money to

502
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 2: cover all of our expenses. I was just spending the

503
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: money horribly, spending the money horribly. But that one week

504
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 2: me having to wait to get paid and having to

505
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 2: penny pench and figure things out. What's the first time

506
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: I sat down and I actually created a budget, and

507
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 2: I created a debt management plan. And this is when

508
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 2: I learned the importance of communicating with your lenders because

509
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: there was a lot of things that I did. I

510
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 2: used transportation instead of purchasing a car, which I could

511
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: afford a car, but I couldn't afford a car and

512
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 2: pay off debts. So instead of getting a car, me

513
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,959
Speaker 2: and my children reuse public transportation. I reduced my living expenses.

514
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 2: I was living in an apartment at the time we

515
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 2: had our rent probably was like two thousand dollars. So

516
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: I moved to an apartment, which is where I ended

517
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: up staying for years. I moved there and my rent

518
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 2: was at the time four seventy five. My rent only

519
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 2: went up one time and it ended up ending at

520
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 2: like five hundred and fifty dollars. So I reduced living expenses.

521
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 2: I cut back in as much as I could, and

522
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 2: I used these methods to slowly start throwing my free money,

523
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: which was now free money to me, towards my debt payments.

524
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 2: And this is where I learned how important it is

525
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: to communicate with your lenders. Because I had experienced what

526
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: would be considered a life altering financial hardship, which was

527
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 2: a divorce. There were a lot of programs that were

528
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 2: available to me that I would not have known existed

529
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 2: if I didn't pick up the phone and just asks

530
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 2: and just say, hey, I know that I have this debt.

531
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 2: This is what has happened in my life. My income

532
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,480
Speaker 2: has changed, so I was able to get on a

533
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,120
Speaker 2: few different programs that made pay off my debt much easier.

534
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,840
Speaker 2: And that is how I slowly but surely sort of

535
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 2: to work my way up to paying off a ton

536
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,120
Speaker 2: of the day that I gain after the divorce.

537
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,879
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a weird question, Yes, have you

538
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,000
Speaker 1: ever gone back to that ditch? No?

539
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 2: No, you know I have not been back to that park.

540
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: I was at a birthday, Addy, I have not been back.

541
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: To I feel like you should go there and put

542
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 1: a plaque and here on this spot in whatever day

543
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 1: it was, was a new beginning for Dasha Kennedy because

544
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: I mean that feels like such a significant we're talking

545
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: about symbolism, such such a significant moment. I thought about

546
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 1: that quote from Oprah where it's like sometimes universe or

547
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: God or whoever you believe in and throws you a pebble,

548
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 1: and if you don't feel the pebble, then it's a rock.

549
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: And if it's not a rock, then it's a brick,

550
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 1: and then maybe it's a brick wall. And I feel

551
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 1: like that you falling in the ditch was just like

552
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: someone up there was like sit down, yes, and it really,

553
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 1: I mean, at its core, it just sounds like it's

554
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 1: lifestyle inflation, and it's and it's lifestyle inflation. That's so

555
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: nefarious because you're not really aware of it. I mean,

556
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: how much of that also was wrapped up and you

557
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,240
Speaker 1: wanting to your children a certain lifestyle And did you

558
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: find it difficult to tell them no to things that

559
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: in the past you had been able to say yes to.

560
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, A large part of it, A large part of

561
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: it was me trying to compensate for what I knew

562
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: my children were experiencing what I was experiencing, trying to

563
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: buy my way into feeling better. That had a lot

564
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 2: to do with it. And yes, it was very difficult

565
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 2: to tell my boys no, which is why now I'm

566
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: so thankful for the relationship that I have with my children,

567
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: especially my oldest son. I'm so thankful for the relationship

568
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: that I have with them now because it is built

569
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: on honesty and transparency. Because that played a very large part.

570
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 2: It was tough for me to catch the bus. You know,

571
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 2: my morning sorted every day at four am because I

572
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 2: had to drop my boys off at daycare by five

573
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 2: thirty am, and I had to be at work by

574
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: eight am, so we had to catch two buses. It

575
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 2: was hard for me to do that, very hard for

576
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 2: me to to do that, but I had to keep

577
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: telling myself that, you know, it's only Tipperary, it's only temporary.

578
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: I divorced in twenty and fifteen. I purchased my first

579
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: car post divorce in twenty and sixteen, and I still

580
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: have their car today. I don't think that a lot

581
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 2: of people understand the emotional part of money that is

582
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: tied into divorce, because when you go through something traumatic

583
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 2: like a divorce, you almost feel like you don't half

584
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 2: of what you had is gone, so there's not too

585
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: much that you can do to compensate for that, so

586
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 2: you start trying to buy your way into feeling better.

587
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,719
Speaker 2: And for me, I looked up and I had chased

588
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 2: that feeling better feeling for so long that it was

589
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: twenty five thousand dollars worth of expenses, and that that

590
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 2: I didn't I didn't have, you know, I climb myself

591
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 2: into that chasing something that that money or expenses never

592
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: could have given me.

593
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: I mean, how much of it is also, I mean

594
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm not Maybe you have some experience here too, but

595
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: I think about shame a lot, especially in speaking to

596
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: the people that I get to talk to through my

597
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: work who are going through financial struggles or even I

598
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,959
Speaker 1: do a lot of career coaching, and a lot of

599
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: it is I can sense on the other side, like

600
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 1: shame and not wanting to say the thing that you've

601
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: done or that you think is horrible, like oh, I

602
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 1: mean I didn't negotiate my salary and they you know,

603
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: they kind of say it in a way that's like

604
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: I'm ashamed of this, or I know it's shameful. And

605
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: shame can be such a it can really push you

606
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: to make to continue getting yourself.

607
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 3: Deeper and deeper and deeper.

608
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: How if any shame, How much shame did you experience

609
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: during that time, and when did you kind of get

610
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 1: to the point where you were, like, you know what,

611
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm done feeling bad about this situation. I can't necessarily

612
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: move forward if I'm just going to kind of beat

613
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: myself up about it.

614
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: The entire time, I experienced shame a lot, and to

615
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 2: be honest, it wasn't because of anyone that I was around,

616
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 2: or any one thing in particular that someone may have

617
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 2: said or done. It was a lot of what I

618
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: made up in my head, like I thought, Okay, you

619
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: got married, but then you got divorced, like shortly after

620
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,080
Speaker 2: you messed up, you should be ashamed of that, Like

621
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 2: I felt like shame was the consequence of my actions

622
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: of not properly preparing for the marriage, not asking the

623
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: right question. So it made me feel like a lot

624
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 2: of what was happening, it was almost like, well that's

625
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 2: what you get, so you know you can't you can't

626
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 2: be honest and asked for help or say you messed

627
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 2: up because you did this. It was the pressure of

628
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 2: me thinking that I had somehow failed that kept me

629
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 2: from seeking the help that I needed, That kept me

630
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 2: from facing it head on, because if I have to

631
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 2: be honest, if it wasn't for me falling in that ditch,

632
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: I probably would have ran from that for who knows

633
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: how long. And that's ultimately what led me to creating

634
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 2: the Broke Black Girl. Like if I hadn't, if I

635
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 2: didn't do that, who know, I probably would have skipped

636
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 2: right right over this. I probably would have never even

637
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 2: sat down to even think, like personal finance is something

638
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: that I one should know and then two I'm good

639
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 2: at it, and then I can talk to other people

640
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: about it. Like I never would have sat down and

641
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 2: had that experience had I not fallen in that you know,

642
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: that ditch, and I wouldn't have fallen in that ditch

643
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 2: if I wasn't already in the mind frame of speaking

644
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 2: it into existence, because I felt like my finances and whole

645
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: life was in a ditch. So it's like, once I

646
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 2: came out of that, it was the realization that Shane

647
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 2: doesn't have to have that type of control or power

648
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 2: of you. Like I think I gave it more power

649
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 2: than than it initially had.

650
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think we talk a lot about

651
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,479
Speaker 1: domestic abuse and financial abuse when there's like a partner

652
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: in that, but we are as women and people in general,

653
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: we are often our worst abusers. Yes, especially when it

654
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,959
Speaker 1: comes to emotional verbal abuse. Like if you could imagine

655
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: if the voices in our head were like a person,

656
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: we would have followed the restraining order. You know, we

657
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: would have reported them to the FBI, Like this is

658
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: America's most wanted you know, this person is a terrorist,

659
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: a mental terrorist, and it's like it's us. So yeah,

660
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: I feel like we all go through that all the time.

661
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,479
Speaker 1: But I mean, obviously you've come such a long way.

662
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: The Broke Black Girl, you know you launched that in

663
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen.

664
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:22,439
Speaker 3: Is that right?

665
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: Yes?

666
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: And you've built this massive community, I mean tens of

667
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 1: thousands of women on ig You're constantly sharing your update

668
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 1: of how much debt collectively your community has paid down,

669
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: which I think is so inspiring. Do you know what

670
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: the total is now?

671
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 2: So the last time we did this, so what we

672
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 2: did was a forty five day challenge and then the

673
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 2: last forty five day challenge we ended up doing a

674
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,920
Speaker 2: little bit over a million dollars.

675
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 3: I mean that's amazing.

676
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:49,799
Speaker 1: And I think going back to community, you know, your

677
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: mom helped you, and then I mean you took a

678
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: little bit further. You weren't just like I'm going to

679
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 1: help one person, I'm going to help tens of thousands

680
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 1: of women, which is I mean phenomenal. I mean you

681
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 1: are literal brown ambition sitting across from me. So I

682
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,399
Speaker 1: love that we get to talk to you here. I mean,

683
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: that's what it's about. It's about pulling yourself out of

684
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: your own ditch. Yes, what a beautiful I just love

685
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: a good analogy, just a good symbolism. I do think

686
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,479
Speaker 1: you know, going back and putting a plaque at that ditch,

687
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: just a little like just a little remembrance of what

688
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: came out of the ditch versus what went in, you know.

689
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: All Right, so you're in this new chapter. But how

690
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: much so this is sort of the challenge too when

691
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: you have I think we're all very familiar with a

692
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,600
Speaker 1: pull yourself up by the bootstrap, pay your debt off,

693
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: especially as black women. I mean, I think the storyline

694
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: of our struggle and our perseverance, like media loves it

695
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: tell us about all the debt you had, tell us

696
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,320
Speaker 1: about being a teen mom. It sort of feeds into

697
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: that storyline of like black struggle and black trauma and

698
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 1: all of that. But we're now you being on the

699
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,880
Speaker 1: other side, and now you're building wealth, saving fifty thousand

700
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 1: dollars to you, I mean ten years ago because you

701
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 1: have imagined like that's incredible, and you've built this business,

702
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: you're working in all these exciting projects. But now how

703
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 1: have you had to like shift your mindset for wealth

704
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: building and no longer struggling And what has that been

705
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 1: like for you?

706
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 2: So it really has been a struggle because for so

707
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 2: long my mind operated in a survival instinct where I

708
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 2: was scared to spend money because I always thought like, well,

709
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,279
Speaker 2: what if something happens and I need it, or what

710
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 2: if even though I'm not married, but it's like what

711
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,400
Speaker 2: if I get divorced? Or what if I have to

712
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 2: pick up and go? Like I always operated out of

713
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:36,520
Speaker 2: a survival mode. So now that my income has increased,

714
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 2: I'm doing amazingly well with my business. I have the

715
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 2: flexibility of having my own time, of owning my time,

716
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 2: Like the proof is in the putting. Things are good

717
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:48,759
Speaker 2: and I can see that and I know that, But

718
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: it has been an every day push for me to

719
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 2: tell myself that they should you deserve these things. You

720
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 2: worked hard for these things. Your children are deserving of

721
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 2: these things. And not just things as in material things,

722
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 2: but lifestyle, happiness, peace, all of the things that my

723
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 2: income increasing or my situation improving has granted me. I

724
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 2: am deserving of those things. So as much as I

725
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,919
Speaker 2: would like to say that the shift has been amazing,

726
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 2: I think that I would do a deservice of what

727
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: it actually means to recover from any type of financial trauma.

728
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 2: That that's to me is a it's a lifelong journey

729
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 2: because that's something I actually did experience. So knowing that

730
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 2: that type of trauma is real and it exists and

731
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 2: it's out there, it is it is a lot of

732
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 2: work to shift from survival to stability. But I find

733
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: so much joy and so much peace and knowing that

734
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 2: these things that I have been granted I am deserving

735
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: of and so that is something that I work on

736
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 2: every day to make sure that I find peace and

737
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 2: knowing that I did work.

738
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: What does your support system look like as you're on

739
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: this now journey toward wealth building? You know, for me,

740
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,919
Speaker 1: I got a financial planner a long time ago before

741
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: I even had you know, quote unquote wealth, But you know,

742
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: she's someone who I feel like can remind me that

743
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: I'm worthy of things, and she helps, like, you know,

744
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: fight against that evil voice in my head that's like

745
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: what if you know, because I have the same fear

746
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 1: as child of divorce. Please you know, what if da

747
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 1: da da da da. But do you feel like you've

748
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 1: got you know, either people that you've hired or advisors

749
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 1: or people in your in your you know, in your

750
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: immediate circle that can help you get to that next level.

751
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so I definitely have a financial advisor and

752
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 2: then I have a therapist and we focus a lot

753
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 2: on the emotional side around money. So between them too,

754
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 2: I have a very good balance as well as you know,

755
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 2: my family. My mom, sure she's still there. She yeah,

756
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,800
Speaker 2: she's still there. She's still helpful and just hearing you

757
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:58,520
Speaker 2: know that she's proud of me and she's always cheering

758
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: me on. It keeps me at a real good space,

759
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 2: Like I feel amazing about where I'm at now, but

760
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: I do know that the journey to financial recovery or

761
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,719
Speaker 2: just getting over any of that trauma is long. Like

762
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 2: for me, it had to be more of just looking

763
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 2: in the mirror and saying affirmations like I needed more

764
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 2: than that. So being able to unpack the practical side

765
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 2: with my advisor and unpack the emotional side with my therapist,

766
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 2: as well as being surrounded by the love and support

767
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 2: from my family, it has done wonders for me. So

768
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 2: having that as my support system, and then my children

769
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: seeing them, you know, my boys, they're happy and I

770
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 2: can say yes to things without it being a grievance

771
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 2: for me letter on financially like seeing that on them,

772
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 2: and like my boys have their own rooms like before

773
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: we lived in a small two bedroom apartment. We were

774
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 2: so crammed up. So now seeing my boys in the

775
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 2: backyard or in their own rooms, or in the driveway

776
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 2: playing basketball. It's things like that that just give me

777
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 2: such a refresher, like knowing that I did the work

778
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 2: to be able to give my boys things that ten

779
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 2: years ago I could not have imagine. I find so

780
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 2: much peace in that. And I can sit back and say, Daisha,

781
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 2: you did the work, and it is okay to enjoy

782
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,240
Speaker 2: the fuse of your labor. And being able to see

783
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 2: my children thrive on the other side of my sacrifices

784
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: is just all of the support that I need.

785
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 3: That's beautiful. I want to leave it there.

786
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to leave it, but I

787
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: gotta leave it there. Dashah Kennedy the Broke Black Girl,

788
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining Brown Ambition and sharing.

789
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 3: Your story with us.

790
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: It's been such a wonderful conversation.

791
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate this

792
00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 2: so much.

793
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 3: Take care Georgia for me. Okay, say hi, I will hope.

794
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:46,600
Speaker 2: Thank you