WEBVTT - Addressing the Elephant | Golden Hour 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:10.760 Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for 0:00:10.880 --> 0:00:13.680 joining us. We're so excited to be back. Susan, how 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.160 are you doing there sweating up a storm in filling out? 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.079 It's one hundred degrees and my pools sitting outside and 0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:20.040 I'm too busy. 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:21.079 To get in it is your pool? 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:22.640 Is your pull of bathwater? 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:23.239 Not yet? 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:23.400 Not? 0:00:23.480 --> 0:00:24.920 That's August August. 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:27.640 Oh my god, I can't. I can't believe how hot 0:00:28.200 --> 0:00:31.479 it is. I feel vindicated. Can I just say? Is 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:35.560 this freaking hot in Austin, Texas from June through September? 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:37.800 How does the rest of you like it? How are 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:38.879 you feeling this time? 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:43.440 In the month of May, I had my air conditioner 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:47.480 on as well as my heater on. It was crazy. 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.120 And here it is June and it feels like August. 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:52.640 I mean, my plants are already dying. 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:55.840 Goodness, my plants already dying like the central chice. 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:57.520 I know, I know, I hear. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:58.040 It's crazy. 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.959 Today we are going to be answering all of the 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:04.200 fan questions and make sure you keep submitting those because 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.760 we love doing it. You know what to do, Just 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.480 go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour and 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:10.640 just keep submitting. 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.679 Yes, we love to hear from you. Send us everything. 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:17.080 We want to hear your questions, your updates. We'd like 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.280 to know how you're staying cool in this hotter than 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:21.399 hell weather. We're all having you. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:25.400 Can also, I'm as a separate air conditioner with central air. Now, 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:28.640 who else out there has to put a separate air 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.600 conditioner in a room when you have central air conditions? 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.760 Okay? Crazy? Well, well let me just say, Susan. We'll 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:37.280 get into our topics here in a second, but as 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:39.720 far as air conditioning goes, Look, you have a two 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.920 story home. Here is a novel idea for you. Put 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.560 in a second unit, one for the first floor. 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:47.960 I think I'm going to get one of those mini splits. 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.280 I really Yeah, they're good too. All right, so send 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:52.920 us everything, your questions, your updates. We want to hear 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:56.320 from you. Hope you're staying cool. You can also dm 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:59.000 us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:03.639 Absolutely yeah. Okay, time to get into the episode. Let's 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:07.600 start Kathy with the question of the day. Okay, today's 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:12.040 episode is all about addressing the elephant in the room. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.040 When was a time where you were in a situation 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:19.720 where there was an elephant in the room, and how 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:22.920 did you navigate it? Are you someone that needs to 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.919 call these things out or do you prefer to avoid them? 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:28.480 Oh? What a question for Kathy. 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.760 Oh no, I was going to say, what go for it. 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.280 You give me your answer. I want to hear what 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:34.000 you have to say. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.840 It just depends on what's happening. Do you believe it 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:42.840 or not, Kathy, believe it or not. Sometimes I prefer 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:43.600 to avoid it. 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:46.240 I actually do believe that. 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.200 And you know are times where I call it like 0:02:49.280 --> 0:02:49.640 it is. 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:51.560 Yeah, well I think we're both the same in there. 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:53.880 Yeah, it depends on the situation. I think. 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:57.240 Yeah, I mean, like give me a for instance, Well, 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.320 when I think about addressing the elephant the room, for me, 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:06.680 the thing that always comes to mind is rudeness. If 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:12.200 someone is rude, I don't tolerate that very well, really, 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:14.800 I don't tolerate it at all. And so for me, 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.280 if I'm sitting with a group of people and someone 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:22.480 does something rude, I'm likely to call them out the elephant. 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:25.200 Everyone's sort of looking around, you know, oh my god. 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:26.240 I look right at them. 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.440 And I'll often say you know that. 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:34.000 Yeah, But like I've said that before. Yeah, did you 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:34.840 really just say that? 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:38.120 Yeah, I think the elephant in the room is a 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:43.840 is a big umbrella term for uncomfortable, and uncomfortable takes 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:45.760 so many different. 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:47.920 Forms and make others uncomfortable. 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:51.440 Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, I think it can 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.680 be dating the elephant in the room. You know, are 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:55.960 you going to go to bed with the I mean 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:57.320 there's so many Are you going to go to bed 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:58.800 with the guy? You're going to go out with him? Again? 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:01.800 The elephant in the room be something about paying a bill, 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.600 like we talked about in another episode. You know who's 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:06.960 paying the bill? How are you going to? Well? Can 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:08.000 you give me an example? 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:10.920 Well, like you said the rude this first of all, 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.760 I mean, I've been with my two best friends, my 0:04:13.880 --> 0:04:16.800 two gay friends, and I'm in the back seat and excuse. 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:19.640 Me, oh, excuse me, excuse me. My two best friends 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:21.560 wear are my chopliver all of a sudden. 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:23.960 They're my gay best friends. You're not gay? 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.280 Well, and I'll be in the back seat and one 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:31.280 of them does have a short not a short fuse, 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:36.440 but he can fight and his remarks and where the 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:40.880 other one and me are sensitive Sam's and we feel hurt. 0:04:40.960 --> 0:04:43.520 You know and not to feel the other one's pain. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:47.160 And I'll go, excuse me, that was not nice, and 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:48.360 then they'll say. 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:50.839 See see even she agrees. 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:53.800 But that's not really an elephant every but it is 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:57.039 like I called them out on it because we're friends. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.320 I don't keep something that made you uncomfortable, That's what 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:04.320 I'm saying. Elephant in the room is usually something that 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.080 people don't want to talk about or they don't want 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:10.480 to address because it's either going to make them uncomfortable 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.120 or make somebody else in the room uncomfortable. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.080 But if you walked into a room and I don't 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.040 know if this would be a situation where it would 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.160 be referred to as an elephant in the room, where 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:23.640 you walk into your room and you know they were 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:28.400 just talking about you. 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.000 You feel it, it's intuition. 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:32.040 Well I would not, Well, I want to drive. 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:36.919 Ninety percent of the time you don't, but sometimes you 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:38.240 do not. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:42.600 But not, I would not address it in a front 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:44.520 of people or no, I mean I wouldn't do it 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:47.320 in an attacking way. I mean, you know me, I 0:05:47.400 --> 0:05:49.320 might go, hey, I got quiet and here all of 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.280 a sudden, what y'all talking about? What was my zipper down. 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:53.880 You know I would make a joke of it, but 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:57.880 I'm not. I'm telling you we've talked about this on 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:02.160 air and between us. As as outgoing and as loud 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:04.920 and friendly as you and I both are to each 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:09.239 other and to others, we're you know, I don't really 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:12.719 like confrontation too much. I hate I really don't. 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:15.000 But I've been in that situation where we walked in 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:19.000 and I know, I know, and you know what. It 0:06:19.120 --> 0:06:23.440 embarrasses them. Oh do you want to finish just because 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:26.360 I'm here? You don't want to finish the sentence? Say 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:30.480 there's something you don't like about me? It's okay, you'll 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:33.560 say that, Yes, I have not, Will I have? 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:34.560 Wow? 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:35.240 Yes? 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:35.880 Yeah? 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.520 And I felt more pain than they probably did. 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:40.839 It was hard for me to do, but I thought, 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:42.840 I'll be damned if you think you're going to get 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:43.479 over on me. 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.080 Yeah, I think it, I really do. I hate sentence. 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:50.960 It sounds so wishy washy, but you know it's I 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.400 think you have to navigate it on a case by 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:56.440 case basis. Like, for example, you and I've talked about this, 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.400 We've taken trips with our kids, and I don't know 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:04.159 about you, but My children often think that I have 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.720 a money tree out in the backyard and I just 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.440 go out there and you know, pick a couple of 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.480 foul every morning. What you know, what can I help 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.680 you with today? Oh, he's like a new card. Let 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.560 me go out and get the money off the other. 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:15.160 Go to dinner. 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:18.480 It's just like they assume your mother sixty eight now 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:22.160 picked up the tab people, I've been picking up for 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:23.000 sixty eight years. 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:25.720 But what do you ever address it with your children, 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:28.160 because I'm guessing you don't. No, I do, of course 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:28.960 you don't. 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.880 I My bust their balls a little bit after a day. 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:33.880 Once in a while. You could treat mom. I would 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:35.720 have treated, just say something, what am I supposed to do? 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.240 Say Chris, were you going to pay Nick? Or you 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:38.800 got this? 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.800 But say that's the elephant in the room that you 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.880 know they're not going to pay, and you don't say it. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.720 So like, for example, I am taking in fact, I 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:51.000 need to get my check book out. No, seriously, I've 0:07:51.040 --> 0:07:54.280 got to get out right now. I am my daughter 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:57.360 and my son in law and my granddaughter. I told 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.680 them I would take them for a weekend down to 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.880 the beach in October because right now do I need 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:05.640 to say again in Texas another word for Texas the 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:08.600 time of year as hell. It's hotter than hell here. 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.680 And so we're going to go down down to the 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:14.680 shore in October. So I said, you know, my daughter's 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:15.880 great at planning to want. 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.880 You, why didn't you suggest that we go together? We 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:24.080 are going together, paying taking them? Well, everybody go and well. 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.200 Because you know what I've said this to you before, 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.880 I would rather spend my money on my kids and 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:36.040 have experience and have experiences with my kids. Then you know, 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:41.080 then whatever and so, but my deal is I'm not complaining. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:42.880 That is where I was going. Is the elephant in 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:46.280 the room for me is, hey, I'm going to pay 0:08:46.640 --> 0:08:49.800 for this condo on the beach. But you know, last 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:53.800 time I look, you have to eat while you're alive. 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:56.680 So maybe you guys can pick up the groceries. Like 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:58.720 that's the elephant the room. Now, it's gonna be really 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.960 hard for me to say that, but I will. 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:03.960 Else they won't do it automatically. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:06.840 Well, my daughter, they're they're pretty, they're getting better. And 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:08.960 my kids are a little bit older than yours. They're 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:11.680 getting Uh, well, I guess about to say, but they're 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.160 getting better, they're getting better about doing it. But the 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:19.199 elephant in the room for me is always translate equals uncomfortable. 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:20.120 Are you like me? 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:22.319 When they do say no, Mom, we got I go No, 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:23.920 that's okay. 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:27.640 Well I will tell you I had Okay, here's. 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.400 What kicking myself. You know, that's exactly what you're just 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.280 talking of. But it just felt good that they offered. 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:37.080 I know, the other night, I had everybody, ten of us, 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.319 my family, the grandkids, everybody here for dinner. And as 0:09:40.360 --> 0:09:44.480 everyone knows, Kathy cooks up a storm not and so Kate, wait, 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:47.960 I've reached an all time low. Susan, you're gonna use 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.679 this against me. I know you are. I So I 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.120 said to Caitlin, my daughter, Okay, she can order anything. 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.920 I swear to God. She single handedly keeps Amazon in business. 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.720 So I said, listen, if you order all the food, 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:01.960 I'll pay for it. She has my credit card, I said, 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.560 just or she ordered. I mean she didn't forget relish. 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:09.080 She had like tooth picks for the olives. I mean 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.280 it was ridiculous. Anyway, they roll in. Well, I realized 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.439 that we needed more ice cream, and there were a 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:16.840 couple of things that she didn't get. So I asked 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.240 Kyle if he would get it, and I said, you know, 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.240 I'm paying for dinner, so I'll venmo you for all that. 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:24.439 So he rolls in with, you know, the ice cream, 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:26.680 the few things, the gatorades and the ice cream. It 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.560 was probably thirty five dollars with the groceries. And I said, Kyle, 0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:32.320 let me just venmo request just then moo me request 0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:33.920 me and I'll pay you. And he goes, no, Mom, 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:36.720 it's okay. I said, no, Kyle, I'm paying for dinner. 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:40.040 I don't do this set often. I'm paying ven request me. 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.360 He goes, forget about it, and so you know what 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:48.640 I did. I forgot about it. Thank you, Kyle. 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:50.760 Good job, good job. 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.360 So you know, every once in a while I'll do that. 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:54.800 But again the elephant in the room, like are my 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:57.840 kids paying on my pain? Are you paying for my dinner? 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:00.360 You know? Am I paying for my dinner? I mean 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.080 it's you know, you broke my figurine. Are you're going 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:04.679 to offer to pay for it? Like it's sitting there 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:06.760 smashed on the floor. Who's paying for it? I mean, 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:18.320 it's always equals uncomfortable. So there it is. All right, 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:22.120 we're gonna get to our fan questions. Okay, here's the 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:26.600 first one. It's from Anonymous. Hi, ladies, I need an 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:31.080 outsider's perspective, knowing if this is weird. Well, can I 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.520 just say before I read this, if you think it's 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.000 weird Anonymous, it probably is. But let's find out. My 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.120 sister and I both had babies earlier this year, within 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:42.600 a month of each other. We spend most of our 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.320 days right now with just us and our babies, and 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.960 it's truly a dream. When one of us has to 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:50.480 run a quick errand or do something around the house, 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.880 the other one watches both babies. This led to us 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:57.680 breastfeeding each other's babies when needed. It isn't a super 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:01.160 regular thing, but if her baby is and she's running 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.840 to drop off a package, I just feed him. We 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.920 both have great milk supplies, and she's my sister and 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.760 he's my nephew. I didn't think it was weird. One 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.640 time her husband came home when I was breastfeeding their son, 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.960 and he lost it on me, saying how weird and 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:20.199 gross it was. Now I feel weird being around him 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.120 and being around my nephew. My sister and her husband 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.920 have since talked about it. He was just shocked and 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:30.079 confused and the whole situation was just uncomfortable. I guess 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:32.760 my question is, do you think it's weird to breastfeed 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:36.439 your sister's kids. We're all healthy and blood related. Let 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.480 me know where the weird ones or if my brother 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:39.440 in law is. 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.480 No, I don't think it's weird at all. I think 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.439 he was shocked because why would you be doing that? 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.880 But it is she had milk and they are blood. 0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:54.000 I mean, I know women I don't think personally that 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.880 feed babies their breast milk and they have nothing, They're 0:12:57.960 --> 0:12:58.360 no relation. 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.679 Do you want to know why I'm laughing why? 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.000 I don't know if I should tell you the situation. 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.040 That's exactly. These are things that I admit to because 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:09.559 I think I had just me talking as Susan and 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:11.200 I tell her everything that I'm like, oh, no shit, 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.880 I just said this on the podcast. So when I 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.720 had my first child, my neighbor who lived three doors 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:20.480 down had her first son. This girl was so thin 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:23.120 it was painful to look at her. She had no 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:27.160 milk and her just I mean, scrawny, thin baby. And 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.640 literally I'm not joking. One day she can't. And I 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:33.000 had enough milk to feed half of a you know, 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:37.000 developing nation, and I donated milk to the milk bank 0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:39.760 because I had very high fat content. They called me. 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.599 They nicknamed my stuff the Guernsey cow. I mean, I 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:45.400 fed my kids and donate tons of milk to the 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.679 milk bank. Okay, she comes and knocks on my door. 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.760 I'm laughing, but it wasn't funny at the time. Pale 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:58.200 crying holding her baby. He's screaming. She said, Kathy, I 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.600 can't And I said, give me that baby. I knew 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.040 what she wanted. I could just tell. And I fed 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:07.160 him and nursed him, and she took him home. And 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.160 it makes me now and it's just, you know, at 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:10.719 the time, I was just like, oh my god, let 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.720 me help you. She said, the baby slept six hours 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:16.600 because he was so hungry. He never slept, and so 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:18.120 you know, I did that for her. 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:19.840 I there's nothing wrong with it. 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:20.480 It's because you. 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.320 Know what, brass, that's the husband walked. 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.560 In and exactly and the thing is nursing. 0:14:26.760 --> 0:14:28.840 I feel uncomfortable about it at all. 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:33.600 Yeah, I don't either. I think that breasts are here's 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.040 something they're like duel, they're like you know, manual transmission, 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:41.400 automatic transmission. They're they're sexual, but they're also if you're 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:44.760 feeding a baby, that's what they're there for. They produce milk. 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:51.040 My girlfriend, and this is going back, oh god, forty yeah, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:56.120 maybe forty three years and he was my godchild. And 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:59.360 Debbie had to go out and I was watching the baby. 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:05.760 He screamed bloody. I always took him to the er, 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:09.640 like this child would not stop. And I had her 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:12.640 breast milk in a bottle. The whole bit, Kathy I was. 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:14.760 I was crying myself. I didn't know what to do. 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.520 And I'll be damned if I was going to ruin 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:19.920 her evening and call her. I was not a mother. 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:23.600 Yet I whipped it out, put it in there. This 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:27.600 child sucked me so hard. I was like, this hurt. 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.280 Told Michael wait a minute. 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:31.240 He went to a sleep. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.760 When Debbie and Tom came home, I said, I had 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:35.560 this guilt written all over my face. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:39.440 She goes, it's everything already go. I did something she 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:44.320 wanted and I'm afraid to tell you. Her husband laughed 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.080 so hard he still laughs about it today. 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:48.120 I said, I didn't know what to do. He would 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:54.280 not stop it. Huh, he wouldn't make it. He didn't 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:58.680 get anything from me, But it was just that I 0:15:58.880 --> 0:15:59.960 was a little embarrassed. 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:03.320 It took me a minute. I was by myself and. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.760 Listen, no one's listening to us. So I nursed the 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:07.920 neighbor's baby, and you nursed your friend with no I 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:09.880 mean no milk. It happen. It could happen to anyone. 0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:11.720 It sounds fine. I'm not it did. 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:15.320 I was dying already. We got to move on to 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.080 the next question. The things that are running through my 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.120 mind are not publishable. Keep going. 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.400 Okay, So yes, thank you for writing in, and don't 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:23.960 worry about it. 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:27.000 Your sister's husband will get over it. At least the 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:27.720 sun was fed. 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.640 And I love that you and your sister are so 0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:32.760 close and you have kids the same age. It's great. 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:34.160 You're gonna have a great life together. 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.680 Yeah, okay, Kathy. The next one is from an anonymous ladies. 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:41.280 I really need your help. My husband's brother tried to 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.400 hook up with me, and I don't know what to do. 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:47.920 By the way, he's also married. For context, my brother 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.440 in law, Michael and his wife Melody hang out with 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.280 my husband and I all the time. We've gone on 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:58.680 countless double dates, and the four of us have always 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:02.360 really gotten along. The boys have always been very close, 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.520 and Melody has become a very good friend of mine 0:17:05.560 --> 0:17:09.439 in addition to becoming family. Recently, I found out that 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:13.400 they were having maritable problems. To my husband and I, 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.200 it just sounded like the typical growing pains of having 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:23.040 kids and life's inevitable strain on marriage. Just sounded like 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:26.679 they needed a little guidance to get back on track. Well, 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:31.000 last night I got a series of drunk texts from 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:36.600 Michael begging me to come over and straight up admitting 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:38.119 his fantasies about me. 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:39.280 I'm disgusting. 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:42.879 I will be telling my husband, that's for sure, but 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:45.480 I need help on how to do this so I 0:17:45.520 --> 0:17:48.320 don't break this family apart. How do I go about 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.040 this and what do I do after I tell my 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:54.399 husband I didn't reply to the text message and don't 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:55.120 plan on it. 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:56.320 Please help. 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:58.560 Hey, Susan, you know we were talking about the elephant 0:17:58.600 --> 0:18:03.280 in the room. Yeah, there's this is a stampede, this 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:07.800 is cattle like this is like you know. 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:13.719 Girlfriend, don't want to break the family apart. Telling your 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.359 husband is being this so far to break in the family. 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.479 He's going to kick his ass as he should. 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:22.199 It's not going to go well. First of all, we 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:25.960 have to say that the names Melody and Michael are 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.440 not their real names. Yes, so just in case Melody 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:31.960 and Michael, you're out there and you're screwing around on 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.439 your partner, we're not talking about you. It's a different 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:38.800 Melody than Michael. But here's the thing. It's if if 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:43.080 you tell your husband, which you should do, I think, well, 0:18:43.280 --> 0:18:45.200 you know what, here's let me say one other thing. 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:47.960 I probably would have told my husband, but let's let's 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.639 try this more emphasize. I'm not sure I would do this. 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:55.040 But Susan, how about this? She calls Michael up and says. 0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:57.320 Are you nuts? 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.439 Don't ever do this again, because the next time you 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:02.560 do this, I'm telling your wife and my husband you 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.719 want to have a family. Don't ever do this to 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:05.160 me again. 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:07.960 I'm starting with the benefit of the doubt right. 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:09.119 That you are a drunk fool. 0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:10.560 Let you off the hook. 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:15.000 What do I dare? What do I always say to you? 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:18.840 People use being drunk as an excuse. Nope, he used 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.479 drunk as an excuse to tell her what he really feels. 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.280 His fantasy is the truth. But he'll say, why didn't 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.120 mean it. I was just drunk. Yeah you did. 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:30.280 He's obviously attracted to her. I wonder who's the bigger brother. 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:33.600 I don't know, But would you tell the would you 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:34.399 do it not? 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:34.880