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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: joining us. We're so excited to be back. Susan, how

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Speaker 1: are you doing there sweating up a storm in filling out?

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Speaker 2: It's one hundred degrees and my pools sitting outside and

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Speaker 2: I'm too busy.

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Speaker 3: To get in it is your pool?

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Speaker 1: Is your pull of bathwater?

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Speaker 3: Not yet?

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Speaker 1: Not?

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Speaker 3: That's August August.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't. I can't believe how hot

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Speaker 1: it is. I feel vindicated. Can I just say? Is

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Speaker 1: this freaking hot in Austin, Texas from June through September?

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Speaker 1: How does the rest of you like it? How are

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Speaker 1: you feeling this time?

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Speaker 2: In the month of May, I had my air conditioner

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Speaker 2: on as well as my heater on. It was crazy.

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Speaker 2: And here it is June and it feels like August.

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Speaker 2: I mean, my plants are already dying.

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Speaker 1: Goodness, my plants already dying like the central chice.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know, I hear.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Today we are going to be answering all of the

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Speaker 2: fan questions and make sure you keep submitting those because

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Speaker 2: we love doing it. You know what to do, Just

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Speaker 2: go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour and

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Speaker 2: just keep submitting.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we love to hear from you. Send us everything.

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Speaker 1: We want to hear your questions, your updates. We'd like

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Speaker 1: to know how you're staying cool in this hotter than

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Speaker 1: hell weather. We're all having you.

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Speaker 2: Can also, I'm as a separate air conditioner with central air. Now,

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Speaker 2: who else out there has to put a separate air

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Speaker 2: conditioner in a room when you have central air conditions?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Crazy? Well, well let me just say, Susan. We'll

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Speaker 1: get into our topics here in a second, but as

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Speaker 1: far as air conditioning goes, Look, you have a two

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Speaker 1: story home. Here is a novel idea for you. Put

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Speaker 1: in a second unit, one for the first floor.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm going to get one of those mini splits.

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Speaker 1: I really Yeah, they're good too. All right, so send

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Speaker 1: us everything, your questions, your updates. We want to hear

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Speaker 1: from you. Hope you're staying cool. You can also dm

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Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely yeah. Okay, time to get into the episode. Let's

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Speaker 2: start Kathy with the question of the day. Okay, today's

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Speaker 2: episode is all about addressing the elephant in the room.

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Speaker 2: When was a time where you were in a situation

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Speaker 2: where there was an elephant in the room, and how

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Speaker 2: did you navigate it? Are you someone that needs to

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Speaker 2: call these things out or do you prefer to avoid them?

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Speaker 3: Oh? What a question for Kathy.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I was going to say, what go for it.

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Speaker 1: You give me your answer. I want to hear what

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Speaker 1: you have to say.

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Speaker 2: It just depends on what's happening. Do you believe it

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Speaker 2: or not, Kathy, believe it or not. Sometimes I prefer

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Speaker 2: to avoid it.

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Speaker 1: I actually do believe that.

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Speaker 3: And you know are times where I call it like

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Speaker 3: it is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I think we're both the same in there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it depends on the situation. I think.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, like give me a for instance, Well,

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Speaker 1: when I think about addressing the elephant the room, for me,

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Speaker 1: the thing that always comes to mind is rudeness. If

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Speaker 1: someone is rude, I don't tolerate that very well, really,

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Speaker 1: I don't tolerate it at all. And so for me,

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Speaker 1: if I'm sitting with a group of people and someone

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Speaker 1: does something rude, I'm likely to call them out the elephant.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's sort of looking around, you know, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I look right at them.

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Speaker 1: And I'll often say you know that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But like I've said that before. Yeah, did you

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Speaker 3: really just say that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the elephant in the room is a

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Speaker 1: is a big umbrella term for uncomfortable, and uncomfortable takes

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Speaker 1: so many different.

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Speaker 3: Forms and make others uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, I think it can

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Speaker 1: be dating the elephant in the room. You know, are

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Speaker 1: you going to go to bed with the I mean

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Speaker 1: there's so many Are you going to go to bed

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Speaker 1: with the guy? You're going to go out with him? Again?

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Speaker 1: The elephant in the room be something about paying a bill,

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Speaker 1: like we talked about in another episode. You know who's

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Speaker 1: paying the bill? How are you going to? Well? Can

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Speaker 1: you give me an example?

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Speaker 2: Well, like you said the rude this first of all,

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've been with my two best friends, my

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Speaker 2: two gay friends, and I'm in the back seat and excuse.

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Speaker 1: Me, oh, excuse me, excuse me. My two best friends

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Speaker 1: wear are my chopliver all of a sudden.

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Speaker 3: They're my gay best friends. You're not gay?

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Speaker 2: Well, and I'll be in the back seat and one

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Speaker 2: of them does have a short not a short fuse,

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Speaker 2: but he can fight and his remarks and where the

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Speaker 2: other one and me are sensitive Sam's and we feel hurt.

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Speaker 3: You know and not to feel the other one's pain.

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Speaker 2: And I'll go, excuse me, that was not nice, and

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Speaker 2: then they'll say.

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Speaker 3: See see even she agrees.

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Speaker 2: But that's not really an elephant every but it is

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Speaker 2: like I called them out on it because we're friends.

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Speaker 1: I don't keep something that made you uncomfortable, That's what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Elephant in the room is usually something that

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Speaker 1: people don't want to talk about or they don't want

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Speaker 1: to address because it's either going to make them uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: or make somebody else in the room uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: But if you walked into a room and I don't

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Speaker 2: know if this would be a situation where it would

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Speaker 2: be referred to as an elephant in the room, where

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Speaker 2: you walk into your room and you know they were

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Speaker 2: just talking about you.

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Speaker 3: You feel it, it's intuition.

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Speaker 1: Well I would not, Well, I want to drive.

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Speaker 2: Ninety percent of the time you don't, but sometimes you

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Speaker 2: do not.

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Speaker 1: But not, I would not address it in a front

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Speaker 1: of people or no, I mean I wouldn't do it

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Speaker 1: in an attacking way. I mean, you know me, I

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Speaker 1: might go, hey, I got quiet and here all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, what y'all talking about? What was my zipper down.

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Speaker 1: You know I would make a joke of it, but

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Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm telling you we've talked about this on

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Speaker 1: air and between us. As as outgoing and as loud

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Speaker 1: and friendly as you and I both are to each

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Speaker 1: other and to others, we're you know, I don't really

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Speaker 1: like confrontation too much. I hate I really don't.

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Speaker 2: But I've been in that situation where we walked in

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Speaker 2: and I know, I know, and you know what. It

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Speaker 2: embarrasses them. Oh do you want to finish just because

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Speaker 2: I'm here? You don't want to finish the sentence? Say

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Speaker 2: there's something you don't like about me? It's okay, you'll

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Speaker 2: say that, Yes, I have not, Will I have?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And I felt more pain than they probably did.

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Speaker 2: It was hard for me to do, but I thought,

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Speaker 2: I'll be damned if you think you're going to get

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Speaker 2: over on me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it, I really do. I hate sentence.

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Speaker 1: It sounds so wishy washy, but you know it's I

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Speaker 1: think you have to navigate it on a case by

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Speaker 1: case basis. Like, for example, you and I've talked about this,

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Speaker 1: We've taken trips with our kids, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: about you, but My children often think that I have

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Speaker 1: a money tree out in the backyard and I just

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Speaker 1: go out there and you know, pick a couple of

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Speaker 1: foul every morning. What you know, what can I help

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Speaker 1: you with today? Oh, he's like a new card. Let

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Speaker 1: me go out and get the money off the other.

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Speaker 3: Go to dinner.

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Speaker 2: It's just like they assume your mother sixty eight now

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Speaker 2: picked up the tab people, I've been picking up for

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Speaker 2: sixty eight years.

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Speaker 1: But what do you ever address it with your children,

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Speaker 1: because I'm guessing you don't. No, I do, of course

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Speaker 1: you don't.

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Speaker 3: I My bust their balls a little bit after a day.

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Speaker 3: Once in a while. You could treat mom. I would

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Speaker 3: have treated, just say something, what am I supposed to do?

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Speaker 3: Say Chris, were you going to pay Nick? Or you

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Speaker 3: got this?

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Speaker 1: But say that's the elephant in the room that you

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Speaker 1: know they're not going to pay, and you don't say it.

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Speaker 1: So like, for example, I am taking in fact, I

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Speaker 1: need to get my check book out. No, seriously, I've

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Speaker 1: got to get out right now. I am my daughter

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Speaker 1: and my son in law and my granddaughter. I told

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Speaker 1: them I would take them for a weekend down to

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Speaker 1: the beach in October because right now do I need

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Speaker 1: to say again in Texas another word for Texas the

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Speaker 1: time of year as hell. It's hotter than hell here.

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Speaker 1: And so we're going to go down down to the

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Speaker 1: shore in October. So I said, you know, my daughter's

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Speaker 1: great at planning to want.

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Speaker 2: You, why didn't you suggest that we go together? We

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Speaker 2: are going together, paying taking them? Well, everybody go and well.

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Speaker 1: Because you know what I've said this to you before,

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Speaker 1: I would rather spend my money on my kids and

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Speaker 1: have experience and have experiences with my kids. Then you know,

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Speaker 1: then whatever and so, but my deal is I'm not complaining.

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Speaker 1: That is where I was going. Is the elephant in

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Speaker 1: the room for me is, hey, I'm going to pay

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Speaker 1: for this condo on the beach. But you know, last

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Speaker 1: time I look, you have to eat while you're alive.

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Speaker 1: So maybe you guys can pick up the groceries. Like

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Speaker 1: that's the elephant the room. Now, it's gonna be really

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Speaker 1: hard for me to say that, but I will.

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Speaker 3: Else they won't do it automatically.

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Speaker 1: Well, my daughter, they're they're pretty, they're getting better. And

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Speaker 1: my kids are a little bit older than yours. They're

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Speaker 1: getting Uh, well, I guess about to say, but they're

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Speaker 1: getting better, they're getting better about doing it. But the

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Speaker 1: elephant in the room for me is always translate equals uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Are you like me?

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Speaker 2: When they do say no, Mom, we got I go No,

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Speaker 2: that's okay.

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Speaker 1: Well I will tell you I had Okay, here's.

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Speaker 3: What kicking myself. You know, that's exactly what you're just

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Speaker 3: talking of. But it just felt good that they offered.

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Speaker 1: I know, the other night, I had everybody, ten of us,

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Speaker 1: my family, the grandkids, everybody here for dinner. And as

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Speaker 1: everyone knows, Kathy cooks up a storm not and so Kate, wait,

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Speaker 1: I've reached an all time low. Susan, you're gonna use

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Speaker 1: this against me. I know you are. I So I

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Speaker 1: said to Caitlin, my daughter, Okay, she can order anything.

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Speaker 1: I swear to God. She single handedly keeps Amazon in business.

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Speaker 1: So I said, listen, if you order all the food,

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Speaker 1: I'll pay for it. She has my credit card, I said,

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Speaker 1: just or she ordered. I mean she didn't forget relish.

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Speaker 1: She had like tooth picks for the olives. I mean

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Speaker 1: it was ridiculous. Anyway, they roll in. Well, I realized

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Speaker 1: that we needed more ice cream, and there were a

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Speaker 1: couple of things that she didn't get. So I asked

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Speaker 1: Kyle if he would get it, and I said, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm paying for dinner, so I'll venmo you for all that.

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Speaker 1: So he rolls in with, you know, the ice cream,

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Speaker 1: the few things, the gatorades and the ice cream. It

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Speaker 1: was probably thirty five dollars with the groceries. And I said, Kyle,

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Speaker 1: let me just venmo request just then moo me request

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Speaker 1: me and I'll pay you. And he goes, no, Mom,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. I said, no, Kyle, I'm paying for dinner.

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Speaker 1: I don't do this set often. I'm paying ven request me.

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Speaker 1: He goes, forget about it, and so you know what

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Speaker 1: I did. I forgot about it. Thank you, Kyle.

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Speaker 3: Good job, good job.

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Speaker 1: So you know, every once in a while I'll do that.

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Speaker 1: But again the elephant in the room, like are my

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Speaker 1: kids paying on my pain? Are you paying for my dinner?

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Speaker 1: You know? Am I paying for my dinner? I mean

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Speaker 1: it's you know, you broke my figurine. Are you're going

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Speaker 1: to offer to pay for it? Like it's sitting there

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Speaker 1: smashed on the floor. Who's paying for it? I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's always equals uncomfortable. So there it is. All right,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get to our fan questions. Okay, here's the

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Speaker 1: first one. It's from Anonymous. Hi, ladies, I need an

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Speaker 1: outsider's perspective, knowing if this is weird. Well, can I

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Speaker 1: just say before I read this, if you think it's

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Speaker 1: weird Anonymous, it probably is. But let's find out. My

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Speaker 1: sister and I both had babies earlier this year, within

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Speaker 1: a month of each other. We spend most of our

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Speaker 1: days right now with just us and our babies, and

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Speaker 1: it's truly a dream. When one of us has to

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Speaker 1: run a quick errand or do something around the house,

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Speaker 1: the other one watches both babies. This led to us

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Speaker 1: breastfeeding each other's babies when needed. It isn't a super

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Speaker 1: regular thing, but if her baby is and she's running

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Speaker 1: to drop off a package, I just feed him. We

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Speaker 1: both have great milk supplies, and she's my sister and

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Speaker 1: he's my nephew. I didn't think it was weird. One

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Speaker 1: time her husband came home when I was breastfeeding their son,

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Speaker 1: and he lost it on me, saying how weird and

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Speaker 1: gross it was. Now I feel weird being around him

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Speaker 1: and being around my nephew. My sister and her husband

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Speaker 1: have since talked about it. He was just shocked and

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Speaker 1: confused and the whole situation was just uncomfortable. I guess

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Speaker 1: my question is, do you think it's weird to breastfeed

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Speaker 1: your sister's kids. We're all healthy and blood related. Let

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Speaker 1: me know where the weird ones or if my brother

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Speaker 1: in law is.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't think it's weird at all. I think

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Speaker 2: he was shocked because why would you be doing that?

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Speaker 2: But it is she had milk and they are blood.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I know women I don't think personally that

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Speaker 2: feed babies their breast milk and they have nothing, They're

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Speaker 2: no relation.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to know why I'm laughing why?

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I should tell you the situation.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly. These are things that I admit to because

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Speaker 1: I think I had just me talking as Susan and

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Speaker 1: I tell her everything that I'm like, oh, no shit,

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Speaker 1: I just said this on the podcast. So when I

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Speaker 1: had my first child, my neighbor who lived three doors

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Speaker 1: down had her first son. This girl was so thin

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Speaker 1: it was painful to look at her. She had no

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Speaker 1: milk and her just I mean, scrawny, thin baby. And

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Speaker 1: literally I'm not joking. One day she can't. And I

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Speaker 1: had enough milk to feed half of a you know,

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Speaker 1: developing nation, and I donated milk to the milk bank

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Speaker 1: because I had very high fat content. They called me.

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Speaker 1: They nicknamed my stuff the Guernsey cow. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: fed my kids and donate tons of milk to the

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Speaker 1: milk bank. Okay, she comes and knocks on my door.

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Speaker 1: I'm laughing, but it wasn't funny at the time. Pale

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Speaker 1: crying holding her baby. He's screaming. She said, Kathy, I

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Speaker 1: can't And I said, give me that baby. I knew

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Speaker 1: what she wanted. I could just tell. And I fed

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Speaker 1: him and nursed him, and she took him home. And

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Speaker 1: it makes me now and it's just, you know, at

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Speaker 1: the time, I was just like, oh my god, let

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Speaker 1: me help you. She said, the baby slept six hours

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Speaker 1: because he was so hungry. He never slept, and so

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Speaker 1: you know, I did that for her.

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Speaker 3: I there's nothing wrong with it.

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Speaker 1: It's because you.

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Speaker 3: Know what, brass, that's the husband walked.

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Speaker 1: In and exactly and the thing is nursing.

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Speaker 3: I feel uncomfortable about it at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't either. I think that breasts are here's

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00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 1: something they're like duel, they're like you know, manual transmission,

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Speaker 1: automatic transmission. They're they're sexual, but they're also if you're

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Speaker 1: feeding a baby, that's what they're there for. They produce milk.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend, and this is going back, oh god, forty yeah,

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Speaker 2: maybe forty three years and he was my godchild. And

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Speaker 2: Debbie had to go out and I was watching the baby.

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Speaker 2: He screamed bloody. I always took him to the er,

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Speaker 2: like this child would not stop. And I had her

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Speaker 2: breast milk in a bottle. The whole bit, Kathy I was.

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Speaker 2: I was crying myself. I didn't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: And I'll be damned if I was going to ruin

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Speaker 2: her evening and call her. I was not a mother.

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Speaker 3: Yet I whipped it out, put it in there. This

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Speaker 3: child sucked me so hard. I was like, this hurt.

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Speaker 1: Told Michael wait a minute.

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Speaker 3: He went to a sleep.

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Speaker 2: When Debbie and Tom came home, I said, I had

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Speaker 2: this guilt written all over my face.

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Speaker 3: She goes, it's everything already go. I did something she

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Speaker 3: wanted and I'm afraid to tell you. Her husband laughed

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Speaker 3: so hard he still laughs about it today.

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Speaker 2: I said, I didn't know what to do. He would

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Speaker 2: not stop it. Huh, he wouldn't make it. He didn't

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Speaker 2: get anything from me, But it was just that I

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Speaker 2: was a little embarrassed.

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Speaker 3: It took me a minute. I was by myself and.

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Speaker 1: Listen, no one's listening to us. So I nursed the

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Speaker 1: neighbor's baby, and you nursed your friend with no I

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Speaker 1: mean no milk. It happen. It could happen to anyone.

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Speaker 3: It sounds fine. I'm not it did.

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Speaker 1: I was dying already. We got to move on to

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Speaker 1: the next question. The things that are running through my

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Speaker 1: mind are not publishable. Keep going.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So yes, thank you for writing in, and don't

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Speaker 2: worry about it.

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Speaker 3: Your sister's husband will get over it. At least the

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Speaker 3: sun was fed.

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Speaker 1: And I love that you and your sister are so

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Speaker 1: close and you have kids the same age. It's great.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna have a great life together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Kathy. The next one is from an anonymous ladies.

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Speaker 2: I really need your help. My husband's brother tried to

345
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Speaker 2: hook up with me, and I don't know what to do.

346
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,920
Speaker 2: By the way, he's also married. For context, my brother

347
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Speaker 2: in law, Michael and his wife Melody hang out with

348
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Speaker 2: my husband and I all the time. We've gone on

349
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Speaker 2: countless double dates, and the four of us have always

350
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Speaker 2: really gotten along. The boys have always been very close,

351
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Speaker 2: and Melody has become a very good friend of mine

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Speaker 2: in addition to becoming family. Recently, I found out that

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Speaker 2: they were having maritable problems. To my husband and I,

354
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Speaker 2: it just sounded like the typical growing pains of having

355
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Speaker 2: kids and life's inevitable strain on marriage. Just sounded like

356
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,679
Speaker 2: they needed a little guidance to get back on track. Well,

357
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Speaker 2: last night I got a series of drunk texts from

358
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Speaker 2: Michael begging me to come over and straight up admitting

359
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Speaker 2: his fantasies about me.

360
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Speaker 3: I'm disgusting.

361
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Speaker 2: I will be telling my husband, that's for sure, but

362
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Speaker 2: I need help on how to do this so I

363
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Speaker 2: don't break this family apart. How do I go about

364
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Speaker 2: this and what do I do after I tell my

365
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Speaker 2: husband I didn't reply to the text message and don't

366
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Speaker 2: plan on it.

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Speaker 3: Please help.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Susan, you know we were talking about the elephant

369
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Speaker 1: in the room. Yeah, there's this is a stampede, this

370
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:07,800
Speaker 1: is cattle like this is like you know.

371
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Speaker 2: Girlfriend, don't want to break the family apart. Telling your

372
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 2: husband is being this so far to break in the family.

373
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Speaker 2: He's going to kick his ass as he should.

374
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Speaker 1: It's not going to go well. First of all, we

375
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 1: have to say that the names Melody and Michael are

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00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 1: not their real names. Yes, so just in case Melody

377
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Speaker 1: and Michael, you're out there and you're screwing around on

378
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,439
Speaker 1: your partner, we're not talking about you. It's a different

379
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Speaker 1: Melody than Michael. But here's the thing. It's if if

380
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Speaker 1: you tell your husband, which you should do, I think, well,

381
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Speaker 1: you know what, here's let me say one other thing.

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Speaker 1: I probably would have told my husband, but let's let's

383
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Speaker 1: try this more emphasize. I'm not sure I would do this.

384
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Speaker 1: But Susan, how about this? She calls Michael up and says.

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Speaker 3: Are you nuts?

386
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Speaker 1: Don't ever do this again, because the next time you

387
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Speaker 1: do this, I'm telling your wife and my husband you

388
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Speaker 1: want to have a family. Don't ever do this to

389
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 1: me again.

390
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 3: I'm starting with the benefit of the doubt right.

391
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,119
Speaker 1: That you are a drunk fool.

392
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,560
Speaker 3: Let you off the hook.

393
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 1: What do I dare? What do I always say to you?

394
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 1: People use being drunk as an excuse. Nope, he used

395
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,479
Speaker 1: drunk as an excuse to tell her what he really feels.

396
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 1: His fantasy is the truth. But he'll say, why didn't

397
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,120
Speaker 1: mean it. I was just drunk. Yeah you did.

398
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,280
Speaker 3: He's obviously attracted to her. I wonder who's the bigger brother.

399
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, But would you tell the would you

400
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 1: do it not?

401
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:34,880
Speaker 3: What would?

402
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 2: I wouldn't tell it first. I would do exactly what

403
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 2: we just said. Yeah, I would tell him. Look, this

404
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,600
Speaker 2: is your warning. I don't want to break your whole

405
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 2: family relationship, because you know what happens sometimes, Kathy. She's

406
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: trying to do the right thing and he won't stop,

407
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 2: and she tells, and then they have this huge thing,

408
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,160
Speaker 2: and then the mother in law's involved, and then everybody's

409
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 2: made at you for telling her.

410
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 1: This is what italians, this is what Italians do. The

411
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,200
Speaker 1: rest of us will sweep it under the car. But

412
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 1: if you don't want anyone to know, I don't know.

413
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 1: I think when she says, I'm going to tell me

414
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 1: I didn't respond to the text messages, I wouldn't respond

415
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 1: in text. I would call him on the phone and

416
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 1: I would speak very slowly, anonymous, very slowly, and very quietly.

417
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 1: Listen and listen to me very carefully. I'm going to

418
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 1: let this one.

419
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: Slide if you will say this once.

420
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm going to let it slide. And if

421
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 1: you ever so much as look at me the wrong

422
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,159
Speaker 1: way again, our families will be toasted. You have problems

423
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: with your wife, go figure it out.

424
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Speaker 2: You don't think she's going to feel uncomfortable. The four

425
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 2: of them together, it's not going to be the same

426
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 2: since he did that, and eventually the wife, Melody or

427
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 2: her husband are going to realize, what's what's up with you?

428
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. You don't think. You don't think. I

429
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 1: think if that happened, I think I could get over it.

430
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't have.

431
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 3: To make it and get over it. If you just

432
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,640
Speaker 3: chills the freak out.

433
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But what's your language?

434
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 2: Yes, when it comes to that, I gotta say it

435
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: like it is Ryer's wife.

436
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: I know, I don't see. I don't care. If it's

437
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 1: the girlfriend of next door neighbor. That's called cheating any

438
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: way you want to put it. It's it's cheating. So

439
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: I would I would.

440
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: Take a fantasy about I wonder what that.

441
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:30,359
Speaker 1: Was like, Jesus Susan. Really, that's the question I want

442
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation, Harry, this is what Susan wants to know.

443
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 1: What are the fantasies We're down to it now say exactly, God, Susan,

444
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:44,400
Speaker 1: Jesus stop reading these romantic novels and Lord, you know what.

445
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 1: We got to move on. We've got to move on, Anonymous,

446
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:51,239
Speaker 1: let us know what happens. I really do think, I

447
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: do really think you need to call him and really

448
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: give some thought before you go to your husband on that,

449
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: because this can go sobbit talk.

450
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 2: Okay, now we'll be doing a Golden Spotlight where we

451
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 2: discuss something that is impacting the golden community. Today's Golden

452
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:25,719
Speaker 2: Spotlight is all about sti's and safe sex.

453
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: Can I say? What's an STI? And what safe sex?

454
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,159
Speaker 1: Just kidding?

455
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: So right away this place comes to mind, and God

456
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 2: forgive me if anybody out there that lives there.

457
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 3: Proved me wrong.

458
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 2: But there's this place in Florida that's a really great

459
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: village to retire.

460
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's all I hear. That's a great place

461
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: to get an st STD What do they do down there?

462
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 3: Have orgies?

463
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I heard you have a

464
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: one way ticket down there, so you must want to

465
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 1: find well, there's still time, Okay.

466
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 2: St I's for gold are on the rise. For instance,

467
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,719
Speaker 2: per the American Medical Association, rate of siphless gonirihea and

468
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 2: chlamydia more than doubled among those fifty five or older

469
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 2: over the past ten years, but for those age sixty

470
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:20,360
Speaker 2: five and older, clamtia cases more than tripled between twenty

471
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:25,959
Speaker 2: ten and twenty twenty three, GONNERIEA cases increased sixfold, and

472
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 2: syphless cases swored in numbers nearly tenfold.

473
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 3: Why do you think that is?

474
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:37,159
Speaker 2: And what are the conversations regarding safe sex like for goldens.

475
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 1: Okay, let me just say I can't even believe I'm

476
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: admitting this. First of all, what you just read was

477
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: a quote from the American Medical Association. This is not

478
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,360
Speaker 1: our opinion.

479
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 3: That is not more.

480
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 1: If you don't agree with those facts, take it up

481
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 1: with the American Medical Association. I would say that. I mean,

482
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't. I think there's a lot of

483
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: you know, people having a lot of sex.

484
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: A lot of people aren't married anymore. There's so many divorces,

485
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: and there's so many single people out there, and some

486
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 2: of them just need sex, or some of them just

487
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 2: need that companion friend with benefits, don't want anything more,

488
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 2: but they don't ask first.

489
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 1: Well, excuse wait, Susan, I love you, did you you asked?

490
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 2: You?

491
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: Ask? You know what I get? I can get a

492
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: lab test. I will not sleep with the guy. I mean,

493
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't. They have to be because that's.

494
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 2: Why they're on the rise. People don't and I mean

495
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 2: they're getting spartners.

496
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 3: That's how you know what.

497
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 1: This is called the elephant in the room. Nobody wants

498
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 1: to ask, Hey, when was the last time you were

499
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 1: tested for sexually transmitted diseases or infection.

500
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 3: Or tests that you don't have to spell at ABC?

501
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: Well, no, I want to see the paper and I

502
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 1: want to see it dated. Yeah, yes I do. And

503
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: then I wonder why I'm not in bed with any men.

504
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: Guess they don't want to spend the money for the

505
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 1: lab test. Oh well, sucks to be you, and you

506
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 1: don't know what.

507
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: No offense people in the villages.

508
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 2: This happens everywhere, but that I think that's exactly why.

509
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: Because people are tired of being alone and they want

510
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: a partner to enjoy sex with and they're they're embarrassed or.

511
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 1: But you don't care I guess.

512
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 2: But you know what's funny is I know myself whether

513
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: I'm good or not because I keep.

514
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 3: Myself tested. You know what I'm saying.

515
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,920
Speaker 2: I go to the doctors every year. You get where

516
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 2: he was.

517
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 1: You know, Susan, I have some very sad news to

518
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 1: break to you. The fact that you go every year

519
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: and get tested for STIs doesn't help you one wit.

520
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: If the guy sleeps somebody that didn't. Yes, yeah, so

521
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 2: I really you know, That's what I'm saying. I know

522
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 2: I'm okay, but yeah, but that's can't trust the partner.

523
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 3: You got to know that.

524
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: You just said to me, you ask them.

525
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 3: I have asking, definitely, Susan asking. Really Oh, I.

526
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 2: Didn't ask for proof, so that's just as bad, I guess.

527
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 2: But at least I just want to have that conversation.

528
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: I want proof. I could care less about the conversation.

529
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not I'm just saying I do not.

530
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't. I don't have indiscriminate sex.

531
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: Let's start there, or at least not yet. You know,

532
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,919
Speaker 1: there's still time in my life, but right now I

533
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 1: don't do that. But I'm just saying I I have

534
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,560
Speaker 1: girlfriends and I'm not mentioning any names because you know

535
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: that will bite me in there. You know what, But

536
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: I have girlfriends who have gotten sti's, who've had to

537
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 1: have some serious surgeries, who have had us.

538
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,879
Speaker 3: They's not a condom that's going to save them, you

539
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 3: know what I mean.

540
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 1: Well, I hate to tell you it helps, but some

541
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: of these women, I'll say, I'll ask them did you

542
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 1: because you know, I look at the elephant in the room.

543
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: I'll talk to the elephant about condoms. Did you use

544
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: a condom? And they'll look at me like, well, no,

545
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 1: he didn't want to. And I said, well, now, how

546
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: do you feel about it? Because now you've got war?

547
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: How you feeling? How you liking that? I mean, I

548
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: don't get it. It's a lifelong problem.

549
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 3: Just stupidity, like you really, I.

550
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 2: Remember when AIDS first start, you know, everybody was, oh,

551
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 2: it was only for gag.

552
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't.

553
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 3: It was for any everybody.

554
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: Now, thank god they have that down to you can

555
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: stay alive on medication.

556
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,680
Speaker 1: But it's because there's medication you're undetectable if you have

557
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 1: AIDS now, which.

558
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 3: Is even because of stupidity of not keeping yourself in

559
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 3: check as well. As your partner. It's just safe.

560
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: Well, listen to you. Safe sex means asking the guy.

561
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 3: H written proof? Thank GOTM in a relationship?

562
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: Huh? Thank did you get proof from him?

563
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 2: Uh? With that being said, it's true, I can't believe

564
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 2: those numbers are that high, between sixty five and up.

565
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: These people don't care anymore.

566
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: Wait, I got to clarify something. I just misspoke. HIV

567
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 1: is now undetectable if you have AIDS. That's full blown

568
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 1: HIV is what is the virus that causes it? And

569
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: now people there's medication where they people can be it

570
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: can be undetectable, which is great because you know they won't.

571
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,400
Speaker 3: It's read exactly well you won't.

572
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,520
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but more importantly, you're not dying from it.

573
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: A lot of this is people died anyway.

574
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 3: What an episode today was?

575
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I think I think I'm in

576
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: the minority because when I ask a guy, they uh,

577
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 1: they are shocked. I think I'm clean. I'm like, really,

578
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: because you can't thanks.

579
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 3: Me for asking, because I really appreciate that. Who I

580
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 3: really appreciate that? Because who are we talking about?

581
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: Fredrie?

582
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: No, no, no one? A part somebody I had?

583
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's upon a time, And he said, I appreciate

584
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: that because I hate to have to ask that, but

585
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 2: I do as well.

586
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: I said, well, good, we're on the same page.

587
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't ask him. Doesn't do it for me.

588
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm just being honest because and I don't know.

589
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 3: Whether people, huh, I trust people's word, which is stupid.

590
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: Sometimes I wonder if goldens think they're too old to get.

591
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 3: To have an infection or a disease.

592
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: Anybody, Well, I know that's the facts. I'm wondering if

593
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: goldens think, you know, they're they're sexually whatever. You know,

594
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,959
Speaker 1: they can't have babies anymore.

595
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 3: I think they their head anymore, and they want to

596
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 3: go out and have an orgasm. They don't care. It's

597
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 3: a wild epandemic.

598
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: Holy smokes. Okay, you know this has been way too

599
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 1: much fun for me. Thank you to our listeners for

600
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: joining us. Hey, we hope you've learned all about elephants.

601
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 3: And safe room and money.

602
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hours.

603
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: We have new episodes coming out constantly and you don't

604
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 2: want to miss this. I mean, after all, look.

605
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 3: At the statistics that we showed you today. That's something

606
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 3: you probably did not know.

607
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,560
Speaker 1: Honestly, I would like people to write in. I'm being

608
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: very serious. I would like you know, write in anonymously,

609
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 1: tell us what is your experience been. Have you do

610
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: you ask for proof before you have Do you practice

611
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: safe sex which is either using condoms at a minimum

612
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: but having tests done to prove that they're cleaning. Do

613
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 1: you do that? I'd be curious what people would answer.

614
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 1: And by the way, not just goldens, not just GoldenEye.

615
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: So you know, let us know. We'd love to We'd

616
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: love to hear from you on that, and make sure

617
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: you submit your questions to us about something other than

618
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: safe sex place.

619
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 3: Please.

620
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: All you got to do is go to Bachelor nation

621
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram

622
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: at Bachelor Happy Hour.

623
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 2: And listen to the Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hours podcast

624
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your

625
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: podcast until next time

626
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: See you later.