WEBVTT - EP 31 – Jan 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:06.400 That evening, one of the strangest things happened. I looked 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:09.520 in the mirror and I said out loud, He's not 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:13.400 coming home. And I thought, my god, am I being dramatic? 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:15.320 And I dismissed it. 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:32.720 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:35.839 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:43.280 change everything. This is our last Betrayal Weekly episode for 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:45.680 a little while. We'll be back in May with a 0:00:45.720 --> 0:00:49.360 whole new season of Betrayal. It'll be one story told 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:52.720 over multiple weeks, and after that we have more Betrayal 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:57.040 Weekly episodes coming. Right now, we're actively working on news stories, 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:58.960 so if you have a story you'd like to share 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:02.000 on the podcast, write to us at betrayalpod at gmail 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:05.920 dot com. In the meantime, we have some spectacular bonus content, 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:10.120 including updates on cases you've heard on betrail Weekly. We're 0:01:10.160 --> 0:01:13.119 also interviewing experts and getting their opinions on the stories 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:15.800 you've heard. We can't wait for you to hear what 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:23.319 we have coming up now. Onto this week's episode. This 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:26.680 is Jancanty's story. She grew up in Detroit in the 0:01:26.760 --> 0:01:30.960 nineteen fifties and sixties. It was an era of social change, 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.840 a time when protests erupted across the country and people 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:38.880 demanded equality. It all informed the woman Jan became. 0:01:40.080 --> 0:01:43.119 I loved growing up in Detroit. It was a very 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:47.400 historical time. I was very active in the women's movement. 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:51.880 Even as a teenager. I was in demonstrations. I wanted 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.040 to make a difference and I did not want to 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:57.800 grow up and be a housewife and have kids. But 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.960 I lacked role models for how to do that because 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.440 everybody that I knew that was a woman stayed home 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:04.040 and had kids. 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.080 Jan didn't know what possibilities were out there for her. 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:11.720 She loves learning, but she didn't love school. 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:17.400 Hated high school with a big passion. Hated it capital 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:22.359 h I thought it was a complete waste of time. 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.040 I just saw it as babysitting. It turned me off 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:27.680 to school, and I said I was never going to 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:29.040 set foot in the classroom again. 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.840 If she could have dropped out of high school, she 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.880 would have, so college wasn't part of her plan. She 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:37.239 didn't even know how to apply. 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:40.720 So I just went from one crap job to another, 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:44.680 didn't like any of them, got really bored. So I 0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:49.920 kind of started out really floundering, not knowing what I 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:50.639 wanted to do. 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:55.000 Looking for a little direction, she gave school one last try. 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.320 She started taking classes at her local community college, and 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:00.279 sure enough. 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.560 I loved it, so different than high school. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.160 It was at community college that she took her first 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:11.839 psychology course. It was a turning point. Working in psychology 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:17.120 would mean helping others. Plus she found it interesting to me. 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:21.400 There's nothing more basic than thought. They can take away 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:24.320 your family, your health, so on, but they can't take 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:28.120 away your thought. And that intrigued me. It still does. 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.400 As she began her studies, she was eager to start 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:34.280 a life on her own, so she moved downtown and 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:36.360 rented the cheapest place she could find. 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:41.000 My apartment cost me eighty dollars a month. It had rats, 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:44.640 It had about six locks on the door. It had 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.920 no kitchen. It was a hot plate, a bathroom, and 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:52.120 a bedroom. I remember putting my mattress on the floor 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:56.400 away from the window so the gunshots outside wouldn't bear 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.440 through the window because there was always gunfire at night. 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.080 But it was home to me, and it was proof 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.320 that I was on my way. 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.320 Still as cheap as it was, if she was going 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:13.480 to continue to live there. She needed a job. A 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.919 friend told her about a psychologist who was hiring. He 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:20.680 needed help typing up a manuscript. This was right up 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.480 Jan's alley, so she applied, and soon she got a 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.680 call asking for an interview. When she pulled up to 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:28.880 the office building. 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:33.040 I noticed you had to pay for parking. I did 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.240 not have two dollars and fifty cents on me to pay, 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:38.120 so I thought, I'm going to have to ask for 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:39.880 a loan from my future employer. 0:04:40.640 --> 0:04:44.240 She went inside and immediately felt like a fish out 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:44.679 of water. 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:50.400 It was staggering. It had marble and bronze and three 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:55.000 feet long chandeliers in the corridor, and arches and paintings 0:04:55.080 --> 0:04:58.880 and you name it, very very very elegant. And so 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:03.440 I remember walking through the doors and instantly I felt 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:06.680 out of place. I'm like, I don't belong here. This 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:10.799 is fancy. I don't have any money, I'm a phony. 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:14.240 I was so nervous, and I had on my best clothes, 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:19.599 which I bought used and I remember watching people how 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.400 they got to the elevator and how they used the button, 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:23.680 so I would know how to do it. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:29.880 But as she got off the elevator, her nerves faded when. 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:32.280 I got off on floor eight. He must have heard 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.400 the elevator going. He stuck his head out, way way 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:36.760 down at the end of the hall. He said, oh, 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:37.360 I'm down here. 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.760 The psychologist's name was Alan Canty. Jan had been expecting 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:47.520 a man who matched the building, someone intimidating, formal, classy. 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.320 Alan was anything but he. 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:54.320 Had a golf shirt on. His pants were too short 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:58.880 for his shoes. He was bashful, and he was very welcoming, 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:00.839 laughed easily. 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.160 The two of them hit it off. Twenty minutes into 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:09.440 the interview, Alan offered her the job, but before she left, 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:11.000 she had a favor to ask. 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:13.760 On my way out, I said, oh, by the way, 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:16.560 can you deduct two dollars and fifty cents out of 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:17.200 my paycheck? 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.920 Jan explained that she wasn't able to pay the exit 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:24.320 fee for the parking lot. Alan just smiled. 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.400 He pulled out of his pocket a roll of cash 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:31.640 and peeled it off and seemed more than happy to 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:32.279 give it to me. 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.920 In the beginning, Jan and Allan's relationship was strictly professional. 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:43.080 After all, he was eighteen years older than her, well educated, 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:47.000 he came from a wealthy family to Jan Alan was 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:51.240 elite and accomplished. He was someone to look up to. 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:56.760 My impression of him was one of respect. Given his 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.599 station in life, I knew I could learn a lot 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:02.160 from him him in terms of the field of psychology. 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:06.760 Before long, he started treating her to lunch and. 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:08.960 I would talk about classes and what I was learning. 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:13.080 He wanted to give her advice to be a mentor. 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:20.080 He was the first person to ever express belief in 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:25.640 my goals, the idea that of course you can go 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.320 to college. Of course you can graduate. Of course you 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:32.960 can do that. I had never had anybody tell me 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.520 that in my life. It really made a big impression 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:40.600 on me, and I was so pleased that he saw 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:45.040 potential in me that nobody else acknowledged or validated. 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:49.120 He encouraged her to transfer to a four year university 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:52.600 and get her bachelor's degree, and he helped her pay 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:55.320 for college by promoting her to receptionist. 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:58.200 It gave me a raise, and I was so grateful 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:01.680 for that because I was really barely paying my own tuition, 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:03.680 and one term I had to sell my car to 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:06.000 make tuition. And I had started to walk to glass 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.480 in those neighborhoods, which was a challenge to get home 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:10.040 before dark. 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:13.560 In the winter, Alan started giving her rides home at 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:16.160 the end of the day. He liked looking out for her, 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.760 and she liked being cared for. After a few months, 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:24.240 Alan asked her out on a date. It didn't really 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:28.320 come as a surprise. Jan knew they had chemistry. For 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.400 their first date, Alan drove her somewhere she'd never been before. 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:37.600 It looked like a Rundown neighborhood, and it looked dangerous. 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:40.760 As Alan pulled up to a house, Jan thought for 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:44.280 a split second that she might have made a terrible mistake. 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:48.439 The windows were boarded up and the grass was overgrown. 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:52.800 The only sign was a little tiny yellow and green 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:54.559 sign that said lelli'es that's it. 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:57.960 But as they drove around back. 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.840 The aroma coming from the kit was beyond description, and 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.760 they had a man with a violin in the parking lot. 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.560 It was a fancy restaurant, one of the nicest she'd 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:14.400 ever been to, and it was hidden, almost like a speakeasy. 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:18.280 When they stepped inside, the place was decorated with real 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:26.680 oil paintings, chandeliers, candles, and even roaming musicians. Jan was wowed, and. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:31.960 We talked and talked and talked until we realized we 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.240 were taking up too much time. Like the waiter was 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:37.120 kind of like, come on, I have a change over 0:09:37.120 --> 0:09:37.680 in the table. 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:42.680 They were enjoying each other's company. Alan wasn't a standout 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:45.160 when it came to his looks or his charm. He 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:50.160 was shy, awkward even, but Jan thought a real connection 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:51.200 with him. 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:54.320 I liked how he treated me with respect, and he 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.840 always helped me with my coat and opened my car 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:02.560 door and never interrupted me, and was always eager to 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:05.840 hear about my day. And he'd ask follow up questions, 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:07.360 you know, like what did you think of that class? 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:09.880 And what'd you think of that book? And tell me 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:12.720 more about your parents? Or why do you like that singer? 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:14.000 Or whatever it might be. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:18.840 Their attraction was rooted in conversation. Jan had never had 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:20.440 a relationship like this before. 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:24.040 I felt very lucky because a lot of my friends 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.400 were floundering, you know. Their idea of a date would 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.400 be to go to McDonald's and ride up and down 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:33.080 Woodbert Avenue, and I was like, I'd rather go to 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:37.280 the museums. I'd rather have an intellectual discussion. 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:43.240 And with Alan, she could here was someone on her 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:47.679 level They were spending all day together at work and 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:51.880 then going on dates at night. Pretty soon Jan could 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:57.319 picture a real future with him. They'd been dating about 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:01.160 six months, and one morning over breakfast. 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:05.000 He's very bashful, and I decided, you know, he's never 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:08.240 going to ask me, so I better ask him. So 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.360 I had a paper calendar in my pocket and I 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.200 pulled it out, put it on the table, and I said, 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:14.920 I think it's about time that we get married. What 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.320 do you think? And he goes, okay. And I took 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:19.800 my calendar out and it took a pen and I 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.040 stabbed a date. It was a year calendar, and it 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.280 landed on a Saturday in September, and I go, there's 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:24.720 their date. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:30.120 They couldn't wait to be married just a year into dating. 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.680 They had a tiny, no frills ceremony. 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.680 By the time we got married, I was finishing my 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:39.880 bachelor's and he encouraged me to go for my master's degree. 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.719 When Jan doubted herself, he. 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:47.439 Gave me the confidence to go into my master's program. 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:50.360 And in the era too, women did not go to 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:52.000 graduate school at all. 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:55.760 In the early eighties, she started her master's in psychology 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:57.440 at the University of Michigan. 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.880 I loved it so much I did not even want 0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:05.040 to go home after class was over. I loved everything 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:09.520 about it. I loved the old, old libraries. Oh, it 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:10.640 was breathtaking. 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:14.960 During this time, Alan wanted to move into a bigger 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.160 home in a more affluent neighborhood. 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.560 He wanted to have us have our own house together. 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.640 And I said, I have nothing to bring to the table. Nothing. 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:26.800 I mean, you could put everything I had in my trunk. 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:32.880 And that's exactly what she did. Jan packed up her pillow, clock, radio, 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.520 and a suitcase of clothes, and she moved in with 0:12:36.559 --> 0:12:37.559 Alan and. 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.760 We moved into the sixth bedroom, six bathroom house. 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.439 The new home he'd bought for them was a Tudor 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:48.839 revival mansion and one of the most exclusive suburbs of Detroit. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.360 It was like a public building, it was so big. 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.000 When Jane agreed to move in with him, she only 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:57.040 asked for one thing. 0:12:58.000 --> 0:13:00.520 I said, what's important to me is if I can 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.520 take one of the bedrooms and turn it into a 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:06.000 dissertation room. He got me an electric typewriter with a 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.640 little exchange ball so he could change the fons, and 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.400 he got me there. He got me a bookshelf and 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.680 a lamp, and he bought me a coffee mug that 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:18.360 he found someplace where. On the inside, if you look 0:13:18.400 --> 0:13:21.480 at it down at the bottom, there's somebody looks like 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.000 they're mountain climbing up the side of the cup on 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.560 the inside. And he called it a struggle cup, and 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:30.000 he goes, when you get discouraged, look in your struggle 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:33.600 cup and remind yourself a day at a time, you're 0:13:33.640 --> 0:13:36.000 going to do it. You're going to finish. You have 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:36.679 what it dates. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:41.319 In a little over a year, Alan helped transform Jan's life. 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:45.280 Before she'd met him, she was broke, living in a 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:50.960 Rundown apartment, searching for direction. Now she was on the 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:55.600 path towards becoming a psychologist, and she had a beautiful 0:13:55.640 --> 0:14:01.240 home in a wealthy neighborhood. At the time, she was grateful, 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:06.400 but looking back now she sees it all a little differently. 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:12.200 He liked rescuing damsels in distress, which I did not 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.679 understand at the time. That's his pattern. 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:37.680 Once they got married, Alan and Jan were both busier 0:14:37.720 --> 0:14:41.080 than ever. He had a heavy caseload and would often 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:44.680 work late into the night at his practice. Meanwhile, Jan 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:48.800 was charging ahead with her master's in psychology, which eventually 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.440 turned into a PhD and then a post doc. 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.320 Oh my god, the hours you put in, I mean, 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:58.720 seventy hour workweeks were not unheard of. And he was 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.920 very considered about me coming home and going right up 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.920 to my room and just working on my dissertation. 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:08.960 Alan wasn't exactly the romantic type, but life with him 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:10.800 was steady easy. 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:16.080 I felt special, I felt lucky. I felt like I 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:23.600 had gotten the jackpot. We had a routine. We'd either 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.440 have breakfast together or go out to eat. He liked 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.720 to order the newspaper and read it at night. We 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.320 would have dinner at a prompt time because he often 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:35.480 worked in the evenings and his home office and I 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.280 would be doing homework. It was comfortable. 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:43.920 Becoming a psychologist was Jan's sole focus. 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.040 We got to the point when I was finishing my 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:47.480 doctor and he said, you know, we really ought to 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:50.440 furnish the living room. We've been in this house for years, 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:51.960 and I go, oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Like 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:53.040 I never noticed it. 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:55.160 Alan took care of her. 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.440 He took care of the bills, income taxes, et cetera, 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.360 et cetera. He managed one hundred percent of it, and 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:05.200 I was fine with that. I was just glad not 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:06.960 to have one more thing on my plate. So we 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.160 never argued over money. I never worried about it. 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:12.840 They stuck to the same old routine as the years 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:17.760 ticked by. Then in nineteen eighty four, ten years into 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:24.600 their marriage, Jan noticed a change in Allan. It started 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:27.320 in November, when she traveled to Arizona to be with 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:31.000 her parents. She'd come down with mono, so she went 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:32.600 to recover where it was warmer. 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:40.200 That coincidentally happened to fall on his fiftieth birthday. That night, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:44.240 I remember it's his birthday, and I felt like crap, 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.880 and I had such a raging, raw, sore throat, but 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.280 I set my alarm and got up and called him 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:53.200 at eleven o'clock and thang, a'm happy birthday, and he 0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:57.800 started tearing up. I thought it was because he was 0:16:57.800 --> 0:16:59.560 worried about me and my health. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.040 She stayed in Arizona for three weeks. When Jan got 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:10.200 better and returned to Michigan, Alan seemed disturbed. He was panicked. 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:14.680 She'd never seen him like this before, and he continued 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.760 to spiral downward for months, and by May of nineteen 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:22.320 eighty five, they decided to admit him to a psychiatric 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.879 hospital for a few weeks of intensive mental health care. 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.880 And he kept saying to me at the hospital when 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.560 I was in the process of getting him hospitalized, you're 0:17:31.640 --> 0:17:34.520 pure snow here, a snow here as snow. 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.720 What did that mean? The phrase didn't make any sense 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:45.720 to Jan. Throughout Alan's stay in the psych hospital. 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:51.360 He kept repeating words saying things like pure snow. I'm 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:57.840 so bad, birthday, dawn money, pure as snow. I'm so bad, 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:01.560 I need to stand tall. And I just thought, this 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:02.880 is just craziness speaking. 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:08.160 He was having a psychotic break. Eventually, he was released 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:11.680 from the hospital and he seemed much better, but Jan 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:15.720 couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right, and 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:20.680 that feeling only grew as spring turned to summer. One day, 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:24.200 Jan was gardening out back and. 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:28.000 I went back there to trim the lilac bush. And 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:33.800 this is after days of rain, and I noticed three 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:40.040 dry cigarette butts on the ground in the mud near 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:44.400 our kitchen window. And that set off a big red 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.639 flag because they were dry, which meant they were recent. 0:18:48.880 --> 0:18:51.720 It was a small detail, but one that didn't sit 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:55.680 right with her. Neither she or Alan smoked, and they 0:18:55.680 --> 0:18:59.639 didn't have a gardener or a housekeeper, so that meant 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:07.720 someone had been standing outside her kitchen window smoking. Jane 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:11.680 imagined a stranger just lurking in her backyard, watching her 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.160 through the window. She checked every room in the house, 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:19.960 in the basement, all around the perimeter. No one was there. 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:23.080 Alan was at work, so she left him a message 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:26.080 at his office, but he never returned her call. 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.480 He came home from work and I was livid that 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:33.159 he had never called me, and he was patronizing and 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:34.840 he said, well, what do we need to do? Do 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:36.720 we need to get you a dog? Would that make 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.840 you feel better? I said, what would make me feel 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:45.000 better is if you return my phone call. Something is 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:48.440 a myths? Can't you feel it? You don't find cigarette 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:52.240 butts out there? Something is a myth? And he just 0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:57.639 started laughing, like, oh, you're so cute. Oh that infuriated me. 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:02.800 You don't dismis somebody's got genuine reasons to be worried. 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:07.320 Was someone casing the house and planning to rob them? 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:09.960 Her mind went to dark places. 0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:13.720 My way of handling stress is to do tasks, to 0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:17.359 get busy and so after this incident, I decided to 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:20.200 catalog every single thing in our house, how many towels 0:20:20.240 --> 0:20:22.760 did we own, where was our insurance policies? And put 0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:25.480 it in a photo album, so that if somebody was 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:27.720 going to rob us, because that's what I thought was happening, 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:30.479 I could say to the insurance company, this is what 0:20:30.520 --> 0:20:34.760 we have. Here's proof of our belongings. Then one day 0:20:35.680 --> 0:20:38.160 I went to go write a thank you note to somebody, 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:41.199 and I reached up in the closet shelf above my 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.199 head to pull out where I thought was where we 0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:49.119 put the thank you notes and realized that photo album 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:52.520 had been missing. And I knew for sure that's where 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:54.080 it should be because I was the only one that 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:54.600 dealt with it. 0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:57.800 She confronted Alan about it, and. 0:20:57.640 --> 0:20:59.960 He goes, what is with you? I took it to work. 0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:02.359 I was bragging about you. You don't get it. I 0:21:02.359 --> 0:21:05.160 thought it was a great idea, And he went out 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:06.720 to his car and he got it and brought it 0:21:06.760 --> 0:21:09.879 back in to show me, and it smelled like cigarettes. 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:14.159 Alan explained that he wanted to show his colleagues this album. 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:19.119 He didn't understand Jan's concern. Even with this explanation, she 0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:22.399 still felt uneasy, especially when. 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:24.760 We started having hang up calls in the middle of 0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:28.959 the night. A couple of the first ones, I grabbed 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:33.520 the phone, and it was always the same man. He 0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:37.200 had a southern draw, he sounded like he was drunk, 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:40.240 and he was always asking for some person. 0:21:41.240 --> 0:21:44.879 JAN didn't know who he was asking for. But every 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:48.479 few days this man would call back in the middle 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:50.960 of the night, and every time. 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.760 I said it was a wrong number and I hung up. 0:21:55.880 --> 0:21:59.399 But nothing was more unsettling than what happened one evening 0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:00.960 in the beginning of July. 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:05.640 I was driving long Fox Canal on a stormy, foggy night, 0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.560 and this car was following me, speeding up and then 0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:12.639 backing off, speeding up and then backing off, And I'm like, 0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:16.679 what the heck? And we turned the corner onto my 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:19.560 side street, and I knew that very very well, and 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:21.160 I knew that there was a dip in the road 0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:25.040 where it turned, And so when I got close by, 0:22:25.160 --> 0:22:27.720 I turned off my lights and sped up as fast 0:22:27.760 --> 0:22:30.960 as I dare do it, drive and turn left into 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:33.600 my driveway and left onto the grass behind the hedge, 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:37.800 just sat there, and sure enough I watched them come by. 0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:41.359 They stopped at every driveway on our side street, and 0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:43.560 Eva stopped at my driveway, but they didn't see me, 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:44.240 and they drove on. 0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:50.760 If one of these things had happened, sure she could 0:22:50.800 --> 0:22:54.399 have chalked it up to paranoia. But the cigarettes, the 0:22:54.400 --> 0:23:00.119 photo album, the hang up calls, being followed. Something was 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.439 off and Alan wasn't taking it seriously. 0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:07.159 Al blew it off. You don't know that they were 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:11.520 following you. Yeah, they were following me. He was always 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:13.920 belittling me when it came to issues of safety because 0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:15.480 he wasn't bothered by any of that. 0:23:16.800 --> 0:23:21.280 Then, on July thirteenth, nineteen eighty five, Alan didn't come 0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:23.320 home for dinner at his usual time. 0:23:24.320 --> 0:23:27.199 It was a very stormy day. We lost power. It 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:33.920 was hail, rain, wind, So I wasn't totally shocked when 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:37.119 he didn't arrive promptly, although that was his pattern because 0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:40.440 of the weather, and I figured the roads were probably impassable. 0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:44.320 But by eleven o'clock that night, I got concerned. And 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:46.160 this is before cell phone, so there was no way 0:23:46.200 --> 0:23:49.880 to check where he was. And one of the strangest 0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:57.720 things happened that evening. My anxiety was escalating and I 0:23:57.840 --> 0:24:02.280 was pacing I walked into his home off and he 0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:05.000