WEBVTT - Dream Requiem with Rufus Wainwright

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<v Speaker 1>Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you today?

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<v Speaker 2>Doug has diarrhea lives in Canada. My friend Cynthia texted

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<v Speaker 2>me this morning saying she felt like Doug was depressed

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<v Speaker 2>when I left, and I said, I doubt it, and

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<v Speaker 2>then she said, I know he really misses you. And

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<v Speaker 2>then she goes, actually he hasn't eat his food all day,

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<v Speaker 2>and I go, oh my god, oh my.

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<v Speaker 3>God, he came out of me. Fuck well.

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<v Speaker 2>At first I thought he does love me, he does

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<v Speaker 2>love me, and then I was like, wait a second,

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<v Speaker 2>I had food poisoning, and I was like, did he

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<v Speaker 2>get food poisoning?

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway?

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<v Speaker 2>He had diaryea on her couch and on her carpet.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like, okay, I'll be back sooner than

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<v Speaker 2>later to get him.

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<v Speaker 4>Anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>She I was like, we can replace all of those things,

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<v Speaker 2>we can replace her houseplace. She goes, he's so high,

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<v Speaker 2>he's got such energy, and I go, just put him

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<v Speaker 2>outside while he's sick. He's happy to stay outside and

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<v Speaker 2>sleep outside. He preferred so fucking hot with all that hair.

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<v Speaker 2>And she's like, okay, but just you know, like bears

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<v Speaker 2>come through the backyard and I was like, oh. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like well, I mean, he'll probably find his whole family.

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<v Speaker 4>Those are his ancestors, you know.

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<v Speaker 5>What I mean.

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<v Speaker 6>It's so true.

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<v Speaker 4>He is basically a bear. He is a bear.

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<v Speaker 2>So I don't know how long he's gonna last in Canada,

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<v Speaker 2>but I have people.

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<v Speaker 3>Long enough to come back to La.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he might not get in with the fucking way

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<v Speaker 2>immigration is going. Who knows if they'll stop him at

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<v Speaker 2>the border. I mean, he is black. Who knows they'll

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<v Speaker 2>make up some.

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<v Speaker 7>Fucking excuse, you know what I mean? There are his papers,

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<v Speaker 7>I know, well, I do have his paperwork. Actually, ironically

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<v Speaker 7>I could. I should probably sell that to somebody. Well,

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<v Speaker 7>not sell it, give it to somebody. Listen to me.

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<v Speaker 4>I would just like to say that.

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<v Speaker 2>It's early in the morning today and I got myself

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<v Speaker 2>a parking spot all by myself.

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<v Speaker 4>I paid the major, I did it effectively.

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<v Speaker 3>And it wasn't even in the normal place.

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<v Speaker 2>It wasn't in a normal place. I parked up the street.

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<v Speaker 2>We're at a studio. I went by my real house

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<v Speaker 2>this morning to check on things. There's a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>drilling going on.

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<v Speaker 1>I was telling Brad this morning, I'm like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>even know what exactly's happening at the house, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody asks me anymore, and nobody should. Nobody asked me

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<v Speaker 2>what's going on with my house. If you're listening to

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<v Speaker 2>this and you want to rent a big house in

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<v Speaker 2>Los Angeles for a lot of money, hit me up

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<v Speaker 2>on DMS, because yeah you could.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna rent that house out great until I make.

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<v Speaker 2>My money back, and I'll live in Whistler or Spain

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<v Speaker 2>or I don't know, Guantanamo Bay, you know where, whatever,

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<v Speaker 2>whatever place welcomes me exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>If people can rent that, if they're fans of yours

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<v Speaker 1>or RFK Junior, I mean it's great.

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<v Speaker 2>I just yes, this is a what is it a

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<v Speaker 2>cautionary tale? Cautionary tale?

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<v Speaker 4>True?

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<v Speaker 2>I had one great house building experience and I got

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<v Speaker 2>very confident, over confident, and then I now have another

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<v Speaker 2>house building experience and I am will never ever build

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<v Speaker 2>anything again.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, speaking of Trump's cabinet, we have one of Trump's

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<v Speaker 1>favorite people.

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<v Speaker 7>Cabinet.

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<v Speaker 4>They shouldn'ven be called a cabinet.

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<v Speaker 2>That's like, that's a fucking thing, that's an item you'd

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<v Speaker 2>find in my house that doesn't work.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not a cabinet.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like a fucking broken toaster is his cabinet? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we have somebody who has gotten, who has had it

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<v Speaker 2>friction with Trump on today. He's an amazing singer, songwriter,

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<v Speaker 2>composer and legendary beauty.

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<v Speaker 4>Please welcome Rufus Wainwright.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, good morning, Hello, Hello, Hi, oh oh hi, Rufus.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh wow look at you. You're like me way early.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah yeah, no way early.

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<v Speaker 2>But and for a musician, no less. I mean, this

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<v Speaker 2>is what is happening.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, I have a fourteen year old child.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I know about that, and so you have to.

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<v Speaker 4>Wake up early to breastfeed.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I have to be on call basically twenty

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<v Speaker 5>four to seven for any kind of horrific situation.

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<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, I understand.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Is that better?

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<v Speaker 4>You look very thin? You look really thin? On this

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<v Speaker 4>Is that what you said you're going for?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, I was more going for Marlene and Dietrich.

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<v Speaker 2>But then we'll work well Finn and Marlene Dietrich Rufus.

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<v Speaker 2>First of all, well, there's a lot to talk about, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>dream Requiem, which is what we're here to talk about.

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<v Speaker 2>But first I wanted just to mention a couple of things.

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<v Speaker 2>I know that the Trump campaign used your song Hallelujah,

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<v Speaker 2>your your Leonard Cohen cover Hallelujah, And you were pissed

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<v Speaker 2>about that, So I was curious about that too, like

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<v Speaker 2>obviously your agents and managers or whomever get involved, right.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, I mean I was.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean I was pissed, but I think above pissed,

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<v Speaker 5>I was more just sort of flabbergasted and completely you

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<v Speaker 5>know shocks in the sense that just because it was also.

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<v Speaker 6>So weird how it was used, Like it wasn't just

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<v Speaker 6>used as.

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<v Speaker 5>A rally, you know, ending thing where people are always

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<v Speaker 5>shaking hands. He turned it into this sort of you know,

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<v Speaker 5>group dance flash prayer moment of you know, seeking forgiveness, and.

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<v Speaker 6>And that just was Yeah, it was a horrified, shockedness.

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<v Speaker 6>And then I was pissed, and then.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm shocked and horrified. I'm first of all, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not Catholic or religious in any way, shape or form.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm shocked and horrified when they use any sort of

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<v Speaker 2>religious backdrop or there are people praying with him. I

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<v Speaker 2>find that so offensive to real religion, Like I might have.

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<v Speaker 5>I have a little bit of a scoop for you, though,

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<v Speaker 5>Oh great, regarding this, I don't think I've talked about

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<v Speaker 5>this yet, but and it's sort of out there a

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<v Speaker 5>little bit. But so that happened right and then and

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<v Speaker 5>then and this is before he won the election.

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<v Speaker 6>Uh or yeah, I guess he won the election.

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<v Speaker 8>He won.

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<v Speaker 2>We're living in a we're living in hell. And answer

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<v Speaker 2>your previous question, I'm in Canada right now.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm in Canada right now for real.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, well, you're Canadian. I'm trying to become Canadian.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, are you? Are you really in Canada where.

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<v Speaker 4>You I'm in Whistler, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, okay, we're both we're both in exile and probably

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<v Speaker 5>will remain so for a few years.

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<v Speaker 6>But but what happened is that he won.

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<v Speaker 5>He won the election, and then one of the first

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<v Speaker 5>visitors that he had was Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister

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<v Speaker 5>of Canada, our ex prime minister, And so he went

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<v Speaker 5>down and I'd met Justin a couple of times, you know,

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<v Speaker 5>on grinder and I'm just kidding. But anyways, so then

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<v Speaker 5>I got a call a few days later from Justin Trudeau,

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<v Speaker 5>the Prime minister, telling me that he said, I guy

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<v Speaker 5>had this funny story for you, And so I answered

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<v Speaker 5>the phone, Yes, mister Prime minister, make me laugh. And

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<v Speaker 5>he said that when he was down in mar A Lago,

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<v Speaker 5>they were sitting together and at one point Hallelujah came

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<v Speaker 5>up on the sound system in the ballroom, but it

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<v Speaker 5>was it was Andrea Bucelli's version of Hallelujah the song,

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<v Speaker 5>at which point Trump turned to Justin Trudeau and said,

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<v Speaker 5>you know Rufus's version, right, and and then Justin Trudeau said, oh, yes,

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<v Speaker 5>I know, I know Rufus's version, but you have to

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<v Speaker 5>give Jeff Buckley some credit because he's the first person

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<v Speaker 5>to cover the song, at which point I'm on the

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<v Speaker 5>phone with Justin Trudeau, like, wait a minute, he brought

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<v Speaker 5>up the Jeff Berkele like I started to get whatever.

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<v Speaker 5>I was a bit riled internally.

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<v Speaker 2>I also find it a bit surprising that Trump is

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<v Speaker 2>aware of different covers of that song.

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<v Speaker 6>I know, no, well he is.

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<v Speaker 5>But then so then Justin said to him, yes, but

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<v Speaker 5>you have to give Jeff Buckley some some credit, at

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<v Speaker 5>which point Trump said, okay, well, maybe twenty minutes later,

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<v Speaker 5>Trump walked up to Justin and said, you know, Rufus's

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<v Speaker 5>version is really the best version, at which point Justin went, yes,

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<v Speaker 5>it is the best.

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<v Speaker 6>Version so so so in terms of like Hallelujah.

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<v Speaker 5>Versions, I'm a total Trumpianda that's about it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well I'm god. I mean what an endorsement. Trump

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<v Speaker 2>believes that yours is the best version of Halloween. Yeah

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<v Speaker 2>you got that, I guess.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, No, that's the Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>Look, I've been seeking that for years and it's all

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<v Speaker 5>I've ever wanted, really is to be acknowledged as the

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<v Speaker 5>greatest singer of Hellelujah.

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<v Speaker 6>Forget my operas, forget my children.

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<v Speaker 2>So let's talk dream requiem, because I know that you have.

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<v Speaker 2>Jane Fonda is going to is she narrating it? Is

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<v Speaker 2>that the proper terminology?

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<v Speaker 5>Yes, what it is is that I many years ago

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<v Speaker 5>I discovered this amazing poem by Byron called Darkness, and

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<v Speaker 5>he wrote it in eighteen fourteen, which was this year

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<v Speaker 5>that there was this incredible insane earth not ealth quake.

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<v Speaker 6>What's another thing that we're about to.

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<v Speaker 9>Have economical volcano volcano okay, volcanic volcano that went off,

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<v Speaker 9>that erupted, that went off in Southeast Asia, and the

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<v Speaker 9>entire world was dark for a year.

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<v Speaker 5>There was no season, and everybody thought the world was ending.

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<v Speaker 5>It was the year that they wrote that. Mary Shelley

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<v Speaker 5>wrote Frankenstein's it was like the most kind of gothic.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh wow, yeah, and that was eighteen fourteen.

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<v Speaker 5>You said, yeah, it's the most got the gear except

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<v Speaker 5>for this year. We we know eclipsed that. But so

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<v Speaker 5>then you wrote that poem, so as I fell in

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<v Speaker 5>love with the point. It's all about the end of

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<v Speaker 5>the world and it's about like ecological collapse. And then

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<v Speaker 5>I was composing this requiem mass and I decided to

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<v Speaker 5>put them together. And I was maybe going to compose

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<v Speaker 5>the music to the English words, but English is crap,

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<v Speaker 5>and unless it's like rock and roll or rap, it

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<v Speaker 5>sounds terrible if it's sung operatically. So I quickly, you know,

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<v Speaker 5>shifted it and and said, oh, we'll have a narrator,

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<v Speaker 5>which in the end has turned out to be an

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<v Speaker 5>amazing kind of trick.

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<v Speaker 6>And I don't want to say trick.

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<v Speaker 5>Ploy where, you know, because the premier in Paris, and

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<v Speaker 5>we had Meryl Streep there as the narrator, and our

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<v Speaker 5>recording is available on Warner Classics. And yeah, Jane is

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<v Speaker 5>doing it in La. Have you heard anything about how

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<v Speaker 5>she got the job? Tell us, well, I i'd look

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<v Speaker 5>Dan and Dane and I have I know your friends

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<v Speaker 5>too up? Yeah, yeah, no, I I I mean I

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<v Speaker 5>I'd run into her over the years here and there,

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<v Speaker 5>but we never quite you know, bonded. But we were

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<v Speaker 5>at this I had just done the Requiem in Paris

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<v Speaker 5>with Meryl, and we were at the Hammer Gala in

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<v Speaker 5>La and I went there and I was with my

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<v Speaker 5>husband and Yorn and we arrived and I saw Jane

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<v Speaker 5>and we kind of ended up in just the same corner.

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<v Speaker 5>We just started talking and it's and it started to click,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, we just started to give. As they say,

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<v Speaker 5>it's a give or jibe.

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<v Speaker 6>I don't know. I'm so white anyways.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I think it's jibe, but I'm also white.

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<v Speaker 2>Who fucking knows.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay, we were doing something cool and it was weird,

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<v Speaker 5>but uh so we're talking. And then I said to her,

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<v Speaker 5>and I started talking about the Dream Requiem, and I said,

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<v Speaker 5>you know, we did it. We did it in Paris

0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:55.400
<v Speaker 5>with Meryl and and actually it's coming to La. We

0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.400
<v Speaker 5>don't have a narrator yet, but it's going to come

0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.079
<v Speaker 5>to Disney Hall. It's with the Master Corral and and

0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:01.800
<v Speaker 5>and at the end of that little speech, Jane turned

0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:06.040
<v Speaker 5>to me and she said, rufus, I'm doing it. I

0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.160
<v Speaker 5>was like, excuse me. She's like, no, I'm gonna, I

0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:11.880
<v Speaker 5>will do it with you. She immediately hut herself, which

0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.959
<v Speaker 5>I mean I was. I was overjoyed also a little shocked.

0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:18.120
<v Speaker 5>And then it's just from there on. You know, we've

0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:20.160
<v Speaker 5>been hanging out a lot, and she's come to a

0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:22.400
<v Speaker 5>few of my shows and she's just so like when

0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:24.160
<v Speaker 5>she wants something or loves something.

0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:25.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she's very precious.

0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:28.240
<v Speaker 5>Yeah yeah, and so I'm just I don't know, I

0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:31.199
<v Speaker 5>felt very It's been one of the great great things

0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:32.960
<v Speaker 5>in my life, in the midst of all of this

0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:34.080
<v Speaker 5>darkness and stuff.

0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:35.600
<v Speaker 4>So when is this performance?

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:40.560
<v Speaker 5>Performance is in la It's May the fourth at Disney Hall.

0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.160
<v Speaker 5>It's also with the Master Correll, which is probably the

0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:44.680
<v Speaker 5>greatest choir in America.

0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:46.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. I know who they are.

0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:50.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I know they're amazing. And look, it's something you know,

0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.880
<v Speaker 5>I don't. I don't in any way. Look as much

0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:56.480
<v Speaker 5>as Trump likes to think that he rules the world,

0:11:57.800 --> 0:11:59.840
<v Speaker 5>I kind of would like to say, well, maybe Trump,

0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:03.400
<v Speaker 5>you exist. Because I wrote this Death Mass and it's

0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 5>premiering at the perfect time.

0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.440
<v Speaker 6>So You're just the backdrop to my music. So I'm

0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:09.280
<v Speaker 6>kind of trying.

0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:11.640
<v Speaker 5>To turn it around because because it is eerie, how

0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:16.120
<v Speaker 5>you know, just the whole you know, the apocalyptic dark.

0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:18.400
<v Speaker 6>You know, it's a perfect thing to be putting out

0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 6>right now. That's all I want to say.

0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's also you know, I was I don't know

0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.160
<v Speaker 2>where I read this, what book. I read this in

0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:27.240
<v Speaker 2>probably my favorite book, Letting Go. But it's about being like,

0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:29.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, even in times of strife or when the

0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.400
<v Speaker 2>world is a dark place, there are people who could

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 2>create art and people who can thrive within the darkness

0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.600
<v Speaker 2>and not off of the darkness. I'm not talking about

0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:41.199
<v Speaker 2>like to the tech billionaires on all of that. I'm

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.840
<v Speaker 2>saying people who can thrive, who makes something happen even

0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.840
<v Speaker 2>amidst all the darkness and continue to thrive.

0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:49.559
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 5>Well, I am very much fueled, as you said, not

0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:55.679
<v Speaker 5>fueled by the darkness. But I am a how can

0:12:55.720 --> 0:13:00.280
<v Speaker 5>I say this? I am attuned to that sensibility I work.

0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.880
<v Speaker 5>I've always loved opera. I've always loved you know, written

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 5>ballads and very intense music.

0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:07.520
<v Speaker 6>So I love so yes, artistically, I'm in.

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.120
<v Speaker 5>I've been a very good place. But it was funny

0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.559
<v Speaker 5>when you bring up the tech bros. Because they have

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 5>no artistic sense whatsoever. I mean, what's so kind of

0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.400
<v Speaker 5>horrific about that whole situation is that their idea of

0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 5>art is like them dressed as the Mona Lisa or something,

0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.000
<v Speaker 5>you know, with like a banana in the background. You know,

0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.680
<v Speaker 5>they just have no aesthetic sense or anything. So they're

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:37.080
<v Speaker 5>not even I don't know, like like artistically, they cannot be.

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:43.240
<v Speaker 2>Yes, So it's up to me, right right, well artists,

0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, to actually show up.

0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, And they think they're artists. They think they're artists,

0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 6>they think that they're.

0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 4>They think they're artists though I mean they're.

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:52.959
<v Speaker 6>Clearly they think they're everything.

0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:54.959
<v Speaker 4>Yeah right.

0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 6>They think they're sexy too, which is pretty sure. Yeah.

0:13:57.559 --> 0:14:00.959
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's the most revolting part the the sex. The

0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.480
<v Speaker 2>assumed sex appeal is so revolting. I mean, I can't

0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:07.880
<v Speaker 2>think of anyone, any group of guys that are less

0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.960
<v Speaker 2>fuckable than all of those guys. Talk to me about

0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Dream Requiem, So tell me how you would. First of all,

0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:15.680
<v Speaker 2>I hate this question when I'm asked how I would

0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:18.320
<v Speaker 2>to describe one of my shows. But I'm gonna ask

0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.000
<v Speaker 2>you without saying those words.

0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.280
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, yeah, No.

0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.800
<v Speaker 5>I look, I'm a big, as I said before, classical

0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.520
<v Speaker 5>music fan, and I but the first piece that really

0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:31.960
<v Speaker 5>got me going when I was thirteen was Verdi's Requiem

0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:33.160
<v Speaker 5>the Composer of Verity.

0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 6>He wrote this amazing requiem.

0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 5>It's one of the great ones, and I just became

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.160
<v Speaker 5>obsessed with it and it sort of began my whole

0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:42.000
<v Speaker 5>journey in that In that realm, it was a little

0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:46.120
<v Speaker 5>freakish for my dad, especially, he's not a big opera

0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.600
<v Speaker 5>fan to see, you know, his thirteen year old son

0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:51.200
<v Speaker 5>in the corner in the dark with headphones on listening

0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 5>to you know, Day of Wrath and stuff like that.

0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:57.200
<v Speaker 5>So I but I stuck it out, or everybody stuck

0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 5>it out. And now you know, I've written you know,

0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.600
<v Speaker 5>several classical works and also pop works and all that stuff,

0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.360
<v Speaker 5>and now I just feel like it's time to give

0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 5>back to that. I will say, are you Catholic at all?

0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.360
<v Speaker 5>Or you're probably anti kit you hate?

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:14.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm not anything at all.

0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:16.160
<v Speaker 6>Were you brought up Catholic or.

0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 4>I was brought up Jewish? Actually you're brought up.

0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:21.480
<v Speaker 5>Okay, sorry, Okay, there you go, but I am not anything.

0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:24.280
<v Speaker 5>I'm not even baptized Catholic. I was brought up in

0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:28.800
<v Speaker 5>a Catholic environment. My mother was Catholic, and I went

0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:32.640
<v Speaker 5>to Catholic school. And how was that Well, you know,

0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.520
<v Speaker 5>it wasn't great in a sense, but it was really

0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:41.240
<v Speaker 5>they really ingrained it and you in the sense that

0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.080
<v Speaker 5>I was a little shocked when I went to compose

0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 5>it and I was working with all of those prayers,

0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:47.280
<v Speaker 5>you know, the Latin mass.

0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:49.760
<v Speaker 6>Wow, just how fast.

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.600
<v Speaker 5>It came out, and how how it's just like wired

0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:56.840
<v Speaker 5>into into me, for better or for worse, probably more

0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:58.120
<v Speaker 5>for worse in a lot of ways.

0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.240
<v Speaker 4>That's how I am with state capital those are to me.

0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 6>Sounds nice.

0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.360
<v Speaker 5>So anyway, so I so I just started composing it

0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:09.040
<v Speaker 5>and then.

0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 6>And it just came out really fast, and and it's

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:11.040
<v Speaker 6>one of these things.

0:16:10.800 --> 0:16:15.840
<v Speaker 5>Where the idea came and then I so, okay, that

0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 5>sounds like a nice idea. I like to see to

0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 5>see if anybody is interested. And we asked Paris first,

0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 5>and then within two months there was ten commissioners, ten

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.120
<v Speaker 5>cities all over the world that wanted to do it.

0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:26.080
<v Speaker 6>There was a real kind of.

0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.880
<v Speaker 5>Need for it. It was right after COVID. So I

0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.560
<v Speaker 5>think people were whatever, they were pretty.

0:16:31.280 --> 0:16:33.440
<v Speaker 6>Gloomy, yeah, and.

0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 5>So, so I think they could relate to that. The

0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:37.640
<v Speaker 5>other thing, which I don't do you know anything about

0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:38.840
<v Speaker 5>the dog situation.

0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:41.280
<v Speaker 4>I don't know anything about anything.

0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 5>Okay, well, okay, well this is this is interesting because

0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 5>you know the requiem is it's dedicated to two individuals.

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:52.520
<v Speaker 5>The first first one is dedicated to Verity the composer,

0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:56.400
<v Speaker 5>because you know of that. But then the second dedication

0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.800
<v Speaker 5>is to Puccini, whose most people would think is an

0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 5>op composer, which he is. But Puccini and I say this,

0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 5>and the thing used to be our little dog. We

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:09.720
<v Speaker 5>had a dog named Puccini. And actually within the poem

0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:13.879
<v Speaker 5>Byron's poem there's Byron adored Dogs, and then the poem

0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:16.480
<v Speaker 5>there's a dog that dies in the middle of the poem.

0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.439
<v Speaker 5>It's it's kind of the most touching moment of the

0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:20.520
<v Speaker 5>of the piece, or one of one of the many

0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:21.680
<v Speaker 5>touching moments.

0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 6>And and so and we.

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.639
<v Speaker 5>My husband and I, we had a little dog named Puccini,

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:28.679
<v Speaker 5>and so we dedicated it also to the to the

0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 5>little dog. So yeah, so so for there's a big

0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:34.000
<v Speaker 5>dog element to the to the piece as well for

0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 5>dog lovers.

0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.320
<v Speaker 6>So if you hate opera, but it's.

0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 4>A whole opera, right, it's not just one piece.

0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:41.480
<v Speaker 6>No, it's why it's one piece.

0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 4>It's one only one piece.

0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.080
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, it's as Yeah, it's a mass and it

0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 5>starts with some of the poem and then it goes

0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:50.840
<v Speaker 5>into the into the mass, like the choir sings all

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:53.840
<v Speaker 5>the religious mass stuff and then the poem is is

0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.200
<v Speaker 5>recited by the narrator and at a certain point they intertwined.

0:17:57.200 --> 0:17:59.680
<v Speaker 5>But it's it's seventy five minutes, like there's no intermission

0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:02.000
<v Speaker 5>or any thing. It's just there. You're in and your

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:06.000
<v Speaker 5>out and yeah, so it's.

0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:06.720
<v Speaker 6>I'm very excited about it.

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.440
<v Speaker 5>I mean I've been fighting years and years and years

0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:11.639
<v Speaker 5>to make it into you know, the classical world, and

0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:13.760
<v Speaker 5>it seems like I've done it with this piece of music,

0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.480
<v Speaker 5>which is very exciting. Of course, right at the time

0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:20.479
<v Speaker 5>that I did that, I wrote a musical in London

0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:26.560
<v Speaker 5>called Opening Night, which totally flops. So so I kind

0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:29.320
<v Speaker 5>of the Broadway world kind of or the West End

0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:33.480
<v Speaker 5>world in London kind of, you know, gave me the boot, right,

0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:36.240
<v Speaker 5>as you know, the classical world opens, So it's always

0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:37.840
<v Speaker 5>it's been an interesting journey.

0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:40.240
<v Speaker 6>You always gotta have the door shut down on you

0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:40.960
<v Speaker 6>at some point.

0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:42.919
<v Speaker 2>Well, a door shut down on you right before a

0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:43.920
<v Speaker 2>different door opens.

0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:45.840
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, there you go. Yeah, you can never have just

0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:46.760
<v Speaker 6>the door open.

0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:50.520
<v Speaker 2>And it's all thattliche because or well an adage I said,

0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.919
<v Speaker 2>I suppose because it's true. I mean, that does happen.

0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:55.720
<v Speaker 2>So talk to me about it artistically. How that how

0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>that makes you feel, like when you are rejected and

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 2>then you are accepted into a different world, Like, how

0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 2>do you balance those emotions?

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:03.760
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 5>No, I look when I did the musical Opening Night,

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:08.320
<v Speaker 5>which which by the way, we did record and we're

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:12.480
<v Speaker 5>releasing it the soundtrack album, and it's the songs are great,

0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.200
<v Speaker 5>and I think the piece was actually kind of great.

0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.359
<v Speaker 5>It was just a little out there for it was

0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:20.240
<v Speaker 5>based on the John Cassavetti's movie Opening Night. Anyways, So

0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:25.200
<v Speaker 5>I was so depressed when that whole thing collapsed and

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:27.959
<v Speaker 5>to the point where you know, I had to go

0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:29.439
<v Speaker 5>on medication and stuff like.

0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:31.600
<v Speaker 6>It was very it really, it was pretty dark.

0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 5>I mean, there was a lot of other things happening,

0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:35.960
<v Speaker 5>but that wast you know, kind of took me down.

0:19:36.560 --> 0:19:39.680
<v Speaker 4>And has that happened to you before professionally creatively.

0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.159
<v Speaker 5>It's happened to me once before. But but I but

0:19:43.240 --> 0:19:46.679
<v Speaker 5>I didn't. I didn't kind of seek treatment for it.

0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:48.879
<v Speaker 5>I was I just sort of nut white knuckled it

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:52.040
<v Speaker 5>through the whole thing. But this time I just needed

0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:54.639
<v Speaker 5>a little bit of help and and I got it,

0:19:54.720 --> 0:19:56.840
<v Speaker 5>and it was great, you know, I was able to

0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:59.840
<v Speaker 5>come back. But right as that was happening, you know,

0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:03.200
<v Speaker 5>the Requim was premiering in Paris, and I had you know,

0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.840
<v Speaker 5>Meryl Streep there sitting next to me, listening to it

0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:12.080
<v Speaker 5>for the first time, and I was able to appreciate

0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.560
<v Speaker 5>how special the whole thing was and how lucky I

0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:17.200
<v Speaker 5>was to be in this situation.

0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:19.560
<v Speaker 6>But yes, there was this gnawing sort.

0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:23.320
<v Speaker 5>Of sense which sort of limited me in my joy

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:26.479
<v Speaker 5>at the time of my greatest triumph.

0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.280
<v Speaker 2>Right, So, but let's talk about that, because I think

0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:32.000
<v Speaker 2>that is very relatable to you know, not only people

0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:33.840
<v Speaker 2>in the industry, but I think people you know a

0:20:33.840 --> 0:20:35.880
<v Speaker 2>lot of things. You get good news or you get

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 2>bad news, and it's hard to kind of pick yourself

0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:38.800
<v Speaker 2>up from that.

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:39.600
<v Speaker 4>And like, when you.

0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Look back at that time, do you think that there

0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:44.800
<v Speaker 2>was anything you would have done differently or that you

0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:47.720
<v Speaker 2>will do differently in the future if something like that

0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:48.720
<v Speaker 2>were to happen again.

0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:52.280
<v Speaker 5>Well, I mean, look, I'm speaking of religions and stuff.

0:20:52.320 --> 0:20:55.400
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I don't want to do it, but I guess,

0:20:55.920 --> 0:20:58.120
<v Speaker 5>you know, you have to be sort of Buddhist about

0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:00.840
<v Speaker 5>it and say, you know, you have to let go

0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:03.880
<v Speaker 5>of that attachment and that kind of idea of being

0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:05.439
<v Speaker 5>you know, fulfilled.

0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:09.200
<v Speaker 6>By your your ego or whatever. And so that's probably

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:10.280
<v Speaker 6>the wise way to do.

0:21:10.240 --> 0:21:13.919
<v Speaker 5>It, is just to not try to feel nothing a

0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:16.600
<v Speaker 5>little bit in a sense or just being you know,

0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:17.880
<v Speaker 5>very low key about it.

0:21:18.359 --> 0:21:20.840
<v Speaker 6>But you know, look, then I wrote.

0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:24.280
<v Speaker 5>Ten songs in my depths, in the depths of my

0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:26.679
<v Speaker 5>sadness that I'm now going to put on a pop record,

0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:29.240
<v Speaker 5>and and so it's also for an art I think

0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:32.040
<v Speaker 5>that's actually more what I struggle with. It's just and

0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:35.800
<v Speaker 5>that I've realized now in my fifties, is that there

0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:39.399
<v Speaker 5>is this kind of machine that I've created where you know,

0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:41.479
<v Speaker 5>I get depressed and then I write songs and then

0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:43.200
<v Speaker 5>I feel better. But then I got to get depressed

0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:45.600
<v Speaker 5>or to write a song, and then in order you know,

0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:49.440
<v Speaker 5>it's this cycle that that you know, certainly creates a

0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:52.680
<v Speaker 5>lot of material and but it is a little bit

0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:55.280
<v Speaker 5>diabolical at times.

0:21:55.920 --> 0:22:00.440
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm sure, I'm sure it is. I mean, that's

0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.600
<v Speaker 2>the life of an artist typically, right.

0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:06.400
<v Speaker 6>And it's a good I mean, I think we're fortunate.

0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:09.399
<v Speaker 5>But but but when I see people, young people, especially

0:22:09.440 --> 0:22:11.080
<v Speaker 5>when they're like, oh, I want to be an artist,

0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:13.840
<v Speaker 5>and you know, my first.

0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:15.840
<v Speaker 6>Comment will usually say, well, you're not gonna you can't.

0:22:15.840 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 6>You can't tell me you want to be an artist.

0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:18.919
<v Speaker 6>You have to be an.

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:22.640
<v Speaker 5>Artist, like like you just you are an artist and

0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:24.160
<v Speaker 5>good luck.

0:22:26.640 --> 0:22:28.359
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, not easy, it's not easy.

0:22:28.760 --> 0:22:31.679
<v Speaker 2>No, it's not like anyone really takes care of you

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:35.080
<v Speaker 2>as an artist emotionally. And I'm not sure in what

0:22:35.160 --> 0:22:38.040
<v Speaker 2>world you are taking care of emotionally unless it's by

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 2>your spouse or you know, family. But at a certain point,

0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:45.200
<v Speaker 2>when you go through all of the highs and lows

0:22:45.200 --> 0:22:48.600
<v Speaker 2>of having any career, a public career, also, you start

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:53.560
<v Speaker 2>to learn to rely on yourself for your emotional well being.

0:22:53.720 --> 0:22:57.080
<v Speaker 2>You're like, no one can help me with this. Yes,

0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:59.200
<v Speaker 2>you can talk to a therapist, and of course you can,

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:02.359
<v Speaker 2>you know, go on metation in like incremental times or

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:05.720
<v Speaker 2>whenever you need it whatever, but no one takes care

0:23:05.920 --> 0:23:08.840
<v Speaker 2>of you. And like I think as an artist, there's

0:23:08.880 --> 0:23:11.520
<v Speaker 2>this attitude at least I had this attitude younger, like

0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 2>when things didn't go right, like you fix it?

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:13.520
<v Speaker 6>You do?

0:23:13.800 --> 0:23:14.520
<v Speaker 4>Do you do it?

0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:17.359
<v Speaker 2>And like, yes, well that can be many people's responsibilities

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:20.840
<v Speaker 2>in your life. You actually just have to take the

0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:23.880
<v Speaker 2>emotional burden of everything. It's your name on it, it's

0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:26.800
<v Speaker 2>your failure or success, and then it's your pressure.

0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:29.000
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and then it's and then in the end it's

0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:31.960
<v Speaker 5>your glory when it comes to fruition. But at that

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:34.960
<v Speaker 5>glorious moment, there's always a little bit of there's always

0:23:34.960 --> 0:23:38.160
<v Speaker 5>a chink in the armor. Oh it's uh yeah, yeah,

0:23:38.200 --> 0:23:40.040
<v Speaker 5>which is it's the way it is.

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.240
<v Speaker 2>It would be great to figure out a way and

0:23:43.320 --> 0:23:46.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm good at this sometimes, but not full proof. To

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:50.240
<v Speaker 2>welcome the failure, to welcome the pain, you know, like

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:54.120
<v Speaker 2>bring it on, because every time you have a failure,

0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.320
<v Speaker 2>we all know that something a rainbow is around the corner,

0:23:57.400 --> 0:23:58.320
<v Speaker 2>like something happens.

0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:00.640
<v Speaker 5>Well, I mean I have a little thing to do

0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:02.960
<v Speaker 5>with that, which I kind of relate to Yang and

0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:09.840
<v Speaker 5>Yang where anytime I'm happy anytime I'm somewhat euphoric, I

0:24:10.000 --> 0:24:11.639
<v Speaker 5>just always say, look, I'm going to take a little

0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:15.720
<v Speaker 5>piece of this and hide it somewhere so that when

0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:19.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm in the dark, I can, you know, pull it

0:24:19.040 --> 0:24:21.200
<v Speaker 5>out and use it as a kind of flashlight.

0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:23.879
<v Speaker 6>So I saw it, but I think it's something you

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:25.719
<v Speaker 6>have to cognitively.

0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:27.160
<v Speaker 4>Do and practice.

0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:29.640
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:31.240
<v Speaker 2>All right, we're going to take a break and we'll

0:24:31.240 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 2>be right back with Rufus Wainwright.

0:24:33.200 --> 0:24:35.719
<v Speaker 1>If you'd like advice from Chelsea, write into us at

0:24:35.760 --> 0:24:39.159
<v Speaker 1>Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to

0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:42.000
<v Speaker 1>hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on.

0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:45.560
<v Speaker 1>This week, we're specifically looking for questions about surrogacy and

0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:48.359
<v Speaker 1>fertility issues, So if you've gone through IVF or are

0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:51.200
<v Speaker 1>planning to, please write in at Dear Chelsea podcast at

0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:55.840
<v Speaker 1>gmail dot com.

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:58.119
<v Speaker 4>And we're back with Rufus Wainwright.

0:24:58.440 --> 0:24:58.600
<v Speaker 9>Hi.

0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:02.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, we're going to take some callers. Rufus, Are you down?

0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:03.520
<v Speaker 2>Are you ready to Yeah?

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:07.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, Well, before we get to advice, Rufus, I

0:25:07.440 --> 0:25:10.760
<v Speaker 1>have to tell you that my husband, who's the engineer here,

0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:12.440
<v Speaker 1>who was floating around here on the zoom.

0:25:12.760 --> 0:25:15.040
<v Speaker 3>You are actually the reason that we met. Oh really,

0:25:15.320 --> 0:25:18.160
<v Speaker 3>in two thousand and five, I went to go see

0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:19.520
<v Speaker 3>your concert at Ravina.

0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:21.760
<v Speaker 6>Oh wow, August in two thousand and.

0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Five, and I was going with a friend. We met

0:25:24.800 --> 0:25:27.200
<v Speaker 1>at the friend's house ahead of time, and who should

0:25:27.240 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 1>walk out but this streamy, tall guy. And here we

0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:32.320
<v Speaker 1>are twenty years later.

0:25:32.400 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 6>Oh that's so sweet, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

0:25:36.160 --> 0:25:38.560
<v Speaker 2>I saw you Rufus at some small place in Santa

0:25:38.600 --> 0:25:41.400
<v Speaker 2>Monica a few years ago, maybe not a few, maybe ten.

0:25:41.920 --> 0:25:43.880
<v Speaker 2>It was really fun though. It was only like there's

0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:46.720
<v Speaker 2>a small room with like one hundred people and everyone

0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:47.280
<v Speaker 2>was getting down.

0:25:47.520 --> 0:25:50.240
<v Speaker 6>It was I think it was it was mccabes or something.

0:25:50.400 --> 0:25:51.359
<v Speaker 4>Yes, yes, yes it was.

0:25:51.720 --> 0:25:51.880
<v Speaker 9>Yeah.

0:25:51.920 --> 0:25:52.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:25:52.080 --> 0:25:54.320
<v Speaker 6>Those are those are those are some Those are great shows.

0:25:54.359 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 6>Those are fun shows.

0:25:56.000 --> 0:25:56.480
<v Speaker 3>All right.

0:25:56.800 --> 0:26:00.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, our first question is just an email, not a call.

0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:04.359
<v Speaker 3>So this question comes from Tina. Subject line is son's

0:26:04.480 --> 0:26:05.440
<v Speaker 3>sexual preference.

0:26:06.040 --> 0:26:08.840
<v Speaker 1>You're Chelsea. I've been a fan of your podcast for

0:26:08.880 --> 0:26:11.280
<v Speaker 1>a number of years. I love what you stand for

0:26:11.320 --> 0:26:13.280
<v Speaker 1>and the advice that you give on your podcast. I

0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:15.600
<v Speaker 1>listen every morning when I walk my dog before work.

0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:17.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm a forty seven year old.

0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:19.959
<v Speaker 1>Single mom with three children who are all grown. I

0:26:20.040 --> 0:26:22.240
<v Speaker 1>like to think of myself as very open minded and

0:26:22.280 --> 0:26:24.840
<v Speaker 1>progressive when it comes to most things. I've always made

0:26:24.880 --> 0:26:26.639
<v Speaker 1>it very clear to my children that whatever road they

0:26:26.720 --> 0:26:29.600
<v Speaker 1>choose and their sexuality is their choice and free from judgment.

0:26:29.840 --> 0:26:30.920
<v Speaker 3>And then this happened.

0:26:31.600 --> 0:26:33.520
<v Speaker 1>My twenty one year old son told me tonight that

0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:36.320
<v Speaker 1>he's dating a trans person, a woman who has been

0:26:36.320 --> 0:26:39.879
<v Speaker 1>transitioning to be a man. I maintained complete composure and

0:26:39.920 --> 0:26:42.320
<v Speaker 1>acted cool, but inside I was really just feeling a

0:26:42.359 --> 0:26:43.359
<v Speaker 1>little bit of turmoil.

0:26:43.520 --> 0:26:46.360
<v Speaker 4>I love that honesty. I maintained composure.

0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:50.359
<v Speaker 1>Yes, my son is the most beautiful, sweet, kind and

0:26:50.440 --> 0:26:52.680
<v Speaker 1>best person ever, and all I want for him is

0:26:52.720 --> 0:26:55.399
<v Speaker 1>to be happy. I've always known or suspected that he

0:26:55.480 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 1>was gay or otherwise, but I guess I'm just scared

0:26:57.600 --> 0:26:59.359
<v Speaker 1>for him, but at the same time so proud of

0:26:59.400 --> 0:27:01.560
<v Speaker 1>him for just love having another human, regardless of their

0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:03.000
<v Speaker 1>sexual identity or preference.

0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:05.200
<v Speaker 3>I guess I'm asking for help.

0:27:05.000 --> 0:27:07.840
<v Speaker 1>On navigating through our extended family, some of which, including

0:27:07.880 --> 0:27:10.639
<v Speaker 1>my sister and her husband, are very conservative. My mama

0:27:10.640 --> 0:27:12.720
<v Speaker 1>bear instincts are out, and I think I'm feeling more

0:27:12.760 --> 0:27:16.400
<v Speaker 1>protective than judgmental for him, but also feeling a little.

0:27:16.160 --> 0:27:19.879
<v Speaker 3>Bit confused of my own feelings about the situation. Many thanks, Tina.

0:27:20.359 --> 0:27:22.280
<v Speaker 2>I think this is easy, Tina, Like, I don't think

0:27:22.280 --> 0:27:25.520
<v Speaker 2>you have to make any proclamations or announcements to your family,

0:27:26.000 --> 0:27:28.520
<v Speaker 2>like your extended family, like first of all, get to

0:27:28.520 --> 0:27:31.600
<v Speaker 2>know your son's new love interest and spend time with them,

0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:34.840
<v Speaker 2>and like and and just keep opening your heart and

0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:37.480
<v Speaker 2>your mind because you're going to learn lots of things

0:27:37.480 --> 0:27:40.359
<v Speaker 2>that you didn't know about, and that's going to really

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:44.560
<v Speaker 2>normalize the situation. And you kind of calling attention to

0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:46.919
<v Speaker 2>it too, even though I understand you're being a protective

0:27:46.960 --> 0:27:49.359
<v Speaker 2>mama bear because I'm a mother and I know what

0:27:49.400 --> 0:27:52.040
<v Speaker 2>that feels like I'm more of a father, But like

0:27:52.320 --> 0:27:55.320
<v Speaker 2>putting an exclamation point on everything, I don't think is helpful.

0:27:55.760 --> 0:27:58.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I think you should just act with grace and normalcy,

0:27:59.080 --> 0:28:01.920
<v Speaker 2>like this is normal when I meet the person, whether

0:28:02.000 --> 0:28:04.480
<v Speaker 2>or not they realize that their trans or not is

0:28:05.359 --> 0:28:08.160
<v Speaker 2>inconsequential to you, Like that's not something that you need to.

0:28:08.119 --> 0:28:10.040
<v Speaker 4>Like preface or tell them before.

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:13.480
<v Speaker 2>Let them deal with the situation and when it comes around,

0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:15.680
<v Speaker 2>I would suggest just going I didn't think that was

0:28:15.720 --> 0:28:19.320
<v Speaker 2>information that was necessary because you're protecting by telling your

0:28:19.359 --> 0:28:22.520
<v Speaker 2>sister and her husband, who are more conservative, you're protecting them.

0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:23.760
<v Speaker 4>You're not protecting your son.

0:28:24.000 --> 0:28:26.480
<v Speaker 2>You're protecting their feelings and making sure they have all

0:28:26.480 --> 0:28:28.720
<v Speaker 2>the cards. They don't need all the cards. This isn't

0:28:28.720 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 2>their love life. This is your son's love life. So

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:32.280
<v Speaker 2>all you can do is show up for him in

0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:34.080
<v Speaker 2>a really responsible and present way.

0:28:34.560 --> 0:28:35.680
<v Speaker 4>Rufus, what do you think?

0:28:36.040 --> 0:28:37.240
<v Speaker 6>Well, you know, I wanted to.

0:28:37.480 --> 0:28:39.560
<v Speaker 5>I totally agree with what you're saying, but I also

0:28:39.600 --> 0:28:43.320
<v Speaker 5>want to sort of praise her for even being you know,

0:28:44.280 --> 0:28:48.040
<v Speaker 5>open to stuff, because my mother might do. This was

0:28:48.080 --> 0:28:50.680
<v Speaker 5>back in the eighties when she found out I was gay.

0:28:50.800 --> 0:28:52.720
<v Speaker 5>She had a you know, a cigarette in one hen

0:28:52.840 --> 0:28:55.440
<v Speaker 5>and a scotch and the other and she said, rufus,

0:28:56.000 --> 0:29:00.720
<v Speaker 5>don't tell me something I don't want to hear. Oh,

0:29:00.920 --> 0:29:03.360
<v Speaker 5>So I was, you know, that was that was so

0:29:03.400 --> 0:29:05.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm someone who, you know, whenever I hear a parent

0:29:06.000 --> 0:29:08.200
<v Speaker 5>who's you know, really trying to do the right thing,

0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:12.560
<v Speaker 5>it's so important and should be really really celebrated because

0:29:12.680 --> 0:29:15.280
<v Speaker 5>unfortunately still, I you know, I just hear these horror

0:29:15.360 --> 0:29:18.400
<v Speaker 5>stories with parents who are just out of their mind,

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:21.240
<v Speaker 5>you know, when this stuff comes up. And so you're

0:29:21.320 --> 0:29:22.720
<v Speaker 5>being the dad, I'm being the mom.

0:29:22.920 --> 0:29:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well perfect, we're perfectly, we're parenting perfectly. I also

0:29:26.800 --> 0:29:29.760
<v Speaker 2>think like open, open, open, Just keep your mind open,

0:29:29.880 --> 0:29:31.760
<v Speaker 2>like you're going to learn things. You're going to be

0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:34.600
<v Speaker 2>surprised by the things you learn, and just be open

0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:36.040
<v Speaker 2>hearted and open minded.

0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:37.880
<v Speaker 6>Be proud of yourself for being open.

0:29:37.960 --> 0:29:40.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, be proud of yourself, and just keep thinking like,

0:29:40.400 --> 0:29:43.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, I understand the protective aspect, but like we're

0:29:43.160 --> 0:29:43.760
<v Speaker 2>not there yet.

0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:44.360
<v Speaker 4>You don't have to.

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:47.960
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry about your son's Your son's happiness is paramount

0:29:48.000 --> 0:29:48.720
<v Speaker 2>to anything else.

0:29:48.840 --> 0:29:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Like, just be open to that and open to understanding his.

0:29:51.880 --> 0:29:55.640
<v Speaker 2>World, and that way, you're going to set the foundation

0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:58.680
<v Speaker 2>for him to be always comfortable coming to you, talking

0:29:58.680 --> 0:29:59.720
<v Speaker 2>to you about these things.

0:29:59.760 --> 0:29:59.920
<v Speaker 9>Talk.

0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:02.400
<v Speaker 2>You knew about these issues and you want to just

0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:04.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, the last thing you want to be is

0:30:04.440 --> 0:30:07.000
<v Speaker 2>shut out from any of that. So yes, just move

0:30:07.040 --> 0:30:09.040
<v Speaker 2>forward with grace and open heartedness.

0:30:09.360 --> 0:30:09.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:30:09.680 --> 0:30:12.160
<v Speaker 1>And I will also say, just like a tiny asterisk,

0:30:12.200 --> 0:30:14.080
<v Speaker 1>I think she did a really good job just like

0:30:14.120 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 1>containing any fear or confusing that she might imposing herself.

0:30:17.440 --> 0:30:18.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, composing herself.

0:30:18.760 --> 0:30:22.240
<v Speaker 1>But one tiny astreiss Tina is just on the sexual

0:30:22.320 --> 0:30:23.440
<v Speaker 1>preference language.

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:25.560
<v Speaker 3>You know, nowadays we say more.

0:30:25.400 --> 0:30:28.680
<v Speaker 1>Like sexual orientation, because it really is part of somebody's identity,

0:30:28.760 --> 0:30:32.080
<v Speaker 1>not a choice really that they're making. And I think

0:30:32.400 --> 0:30:34.960
<v Speaker 1>once you get to know this person, you know, I

0:30:34.960 --> 0:30:38.400
<v Speaker 1>think the only scary thing is having not ever met

0:30:38.400 --> 0:30:40.640
<v Speaker 1>a trans person. Once you get to know them, you're like, oh,

0:30:40.640 --> 0:30:43.800
<v Speaker 1>they're just a person, you know, they just act like

0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:44.440
<v Speaker 1>everybody else.

0:30:44.600 --> 0:30:47.520
<v Speaker 5>They're just That was a and a sort of end

0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:50.400
<v Speaker 5>of my mother's story, which is kind of nice and

0:30:50.440 --> 0:30:52.440
<v Speaker 5>maybe it softens it a bit, as you know. When

0:30:52.480 --> 0:30:55.120
<v Speaker 5>she was when I finally did come out to her,

0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:57.640
<v Speaker 5>we were in Paris and she went to Notre Dame

0:30:57.680 --> 0:30:59.080
<v Speaker 5>Cathedral and.

0:30:59.080 --> 0:30:59.920
<v Speaker 6>She was brought up cast.

0:31:00.160 --> 0:31:02.640
<v Speaker 5>So she went and she prayed, and she claims that

0:31:02.680 --> 0:31:06.239
<v Speaker 5>she got a message from somewhere that says, you know,

0:31:06.360 --> 0:31:08.320
<v Speaker 5>Rufus is like any other person.

0:31:08.480 --> 0:31:10.520
<v Speaker 6>You just have to treat him like any other person.

0:31:10.800 --> 0:31:13.680
<v Speaker 5>And it is that message I think that comes out

0:31:13.800 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 5>eventually the world's as people.

0:31:15.280 --> 0:31:15.840
<v Speaker 6>And that's it.

0:31:16.320 --> 0:31:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, with that message that needs to be transmitted to

0:31:18.760 --> 0:31:19.680
<v Speaker 2>the entire world.

0:31:19.880 --> 0:31:22.400
<v Speaker 4>Yes, yes, that a human being is a human being,

0:31:22.600 --> 0:31:24.720
<v Speaker 4>regardless of anything else.

0:31:25.680 --> 0:31:26.000
<v Speaker 6>Yes.

0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:32.680
<v Speaker 1>Well, our next question comes from Amber. Amber says, Dear Chelsea,

0:31:33.840 --> 0:31:36.200
<v Speaker 1>I met someone in the coolest way. We met in

0:31:36.240 --> 0:31:39.040
<v Speaker 1>a hot tub in Michigan. I live in Washington and

0:31:39.080 --> 0:31:41.440
<v Speaker 1>he lives in New York. He's my best friend and

0:31:41.520 --> 0:31:44.080
<v Speaker 1>he totally gets me. I never thought i'd meet someone

0:31:44.120 --> 0:31:46.800
<v Speaker 1>like him. I know he is the one. I have

0:31:46.800 --> 0:31:49.920
<v Speaker 1>a great career in Washington and a fantastic community and friends.

0:31:50.200 --> 0:31:52.640
<v Speaker 1>He has two kiddos and not the best job prospects

0:31:52.640 --> 0:31:55.560
<v Speaker 1>where he lives. I'm so torn because I love my life,

0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:57.920
<v Speaker 1>but I also love him. What do I do? It's

0:31:57.960 --> 0:32:00.360
<v Speaker 1>important to know. I'm turning forty this year and never

0:32:00.400 --> 0:32:04.040
<v Speaker 1>been married. I want to marry this man hopeless in Washington, Amber.

0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Hi, Amber, this is Rufus Wainwright, our special guest today.

0:32:08.520 --> 0:32:08.720
<v Speaker 8>Hi.

0:32:09.560 --> 0:32:10.240
<v Speaker 10>That's so cool.

0:32:10.760 --> 0:32:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So you fell in love in a hot tub

0:32:13.200 --> 0:32:16.240
<v Speaker 2>in Michigan. You don't want to leave Washington because your.

0:32:16.200 --> 0:32:19.640
<v Speaker 4>Whole life is there. Yeah? And what state is he in?

0:32:20.000 --> 0:32:20.800
<v Speaker 10>He's in New York?

0:32:21.000 --> 0:32:22.400
<v Speaker 4>Oh, Okay, so you'd have to move to New York.

0:32:22.440 --> 0:32:23.480
<v Speaker 4>What part of New York.

0:32:23.640 --> 0:32:27.720
<v Speaker 10>Like rural northern New York like close to the Canadian border.

0:32:28.160 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, well that is a pickle because we're not

0:32:33.000 --> 0:32:35.240
<v Speaker 2>talking about any major city here.

0:32:35.840 --> 0:32:36.320
<v Speaker 4>Yikes.

0:32:36.440 --> 0:32:37.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean that could be good to be close to

0:32:37.960 --> 0:32:39.240
<v Speaker 2>the border for other reasons.

0:32:39.480 --> 0:32:40.760
<v Speaker 6>How far is it from Montreal?

0:32:42.360 --> 0:32:44.880
<v Speaker 10>Well, we actually went to Toronto, like last month.

0:32:44.960 --> 0:32:46.560
<v Speaker 6>Oh oh was there Toronto? Okay?

0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:49.440
<v Speaker 10>Okay, yeah, like he drove, he drove like four hours

0:32:49.440 --> 0:32:50.320
<v Speaker 10>to Toronto and then I.

0:32:50.360 --> 0:32:53.120
<v Speaker 6>Saw four hours to Toronto. Okay, that is that is far?

0:32:55.240 --> 0:32:55.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:32:56.000 --> 0:32:59.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean listen, if you're in love and you know

0:32:59.160 --> 0:33:01.720
<v Speaker 2>it and you feel it and you're forty and you're

0:33:01.760 --> 0:33:04.560
<v Speaker 2>ready to take a plunge for somebody, then you gotta

0:33:04.600 --> 0:33:07.240
<v Speaker 2>do what you got to do. I wouldn't want to

0:33:07.280 --> 0:33:10.640
<v Speaker 2>move there, but I'm not in love with anyone that

0:33:10.720 --> 0:33:11.200
<v Speaker 2>lives there.

0:33:11.680 --> 0:33:14.080
<v Speaker 10>That is so true. But like you know, I have

0:33:14.160 --> 0:33:17.200
<v Speaker 10>like this whole community here. I bought a house, my

0:33:17.280 --> 0:33:20.760
<v Speaker 10>friends are here, my job is here. Although well I

0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:22.719
<v Speaker 10>have a job in a few months, I don't know

0:33:22.760 --> 0:33:23.960
<v Speaker 10>because it's grant funded.

0:33:24.720 --> 0:33:25.720
<v Speaker 4>Lovely sure.

0:33:26.320 --> 0:33:29.040
<v Speaker 1>And now I assume that like he can't move because

0:33:29.080 --> 0:33:31.160
<v Speaker 1>of the kids, right, like a custody situation.

0:33:31.480 --> 0:33:32.440
<v Speaker 4>How old are the kids?

0:33:32.920 --> 0:33:33.840
<v Speaker 10>Eleven and two?

0:33:34.400 --> 0:33:36.120
<v Speaker 4>Uh two?

0:33:36.960 --> 0:33:37.160
<v Speaker 10>Well?

0:33:37.200 --> 0:33:39.560
<v Speaker 4>That that's another doozy. You're gonna raise a two year

0:33:39.600 --> 0:33:40.520
<v Speaker 4>old with him?

0:33:41.920 --> 0:33:44.280
<v Speaker 10>I mean I used to work with kids. I love kids.

0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:46.640
<v Speaker 10>I just I don't want kids. And then he doesn't

0:33:46.640 --> 0:33:49.320
<v Speaker 10>want anymore. He's had of p stectomy. It's fantastic, Like

0:33:49.440 --> 0:33:50.560
<v Speaker 10>I don't have to worry about it.

0:33:51.080 --> 0:33:54.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he sounds like a good, good option minus the legitigo.

0:33:54.400 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 5>Are you interested in and started being in a child's

0:33:56.640 --> 0:33:59.680
<v Speaker 5>life and in the major waven though it's not your own?

0:34:00.120 --> 0:34:02.640
<v Speaker 6>Is that interest you or totally?

0:34:02.840 --> 0:34:05.680
<v Speaker 10>I have a lot of with kids, and I love

0:34:05.720 --> 0:34:10.040
<v Speaker 10>their kids and I love being like the best friends auntie,

0:34:10.280 --> 0:34:12.919
<v Speaker 10>you know, but I don't want to be their mom.

0:34:12.960 --> 0:34:13.760
<v Speaker 10>They have moms.

0:34:13.800 --> 0:34:14.640
<v Speaker 4>They're good.

0:34:15.200 --> 0:34:16.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So if you lose your job in a couple

0:34:16.719 --> 0:34:18.400
<v Speaker 2>of months, say that happens, you know, I hope it

0:34:18.440 --> 0:34:20.919
<v Speaker 2>doesn't happen. But say that does happen, Does that would

0:34:20.920 --> 0:34:21.960
<v Speaker 2>that make it easier.

0:34:21.680 --> 0:34:22.759
<v Speaker 4>For you to move to New York?

0:34:23.120 --> 0:34:23.400
<v Speaker 9>Yeah?

0:34:23.480 --> 0:34:24.240
<v Speaker 4>I mean it would.

0:34:24.960 --> 0:34:28.239
<v Speaker 10>It's just I think it's not even more, not even

0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:31.640
<v Speaker 10>about the job or the location. It's just when you're

0:34:32.000 --> 0:34:34.600
<v Speaker 10>at my age, it's harder to you know, make friends

0:34:34.640 --> 0:34:37.040
<v Speaker 10>and build this community. And I have like built this

0:34:37.200 --> 0:34:42.359
<v Speaker 10>amazing friendship in a community of people here, and it's

0:34:42.400 --> 0:34:46.200
<v Speaker 10>taken a while to build that, right, and then you

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:50.920
<v Speaker 10>go to rural New York and you don't know anybody,

0:34:51.000 --> 0:34:54.040
<v Speaker 10>it's going to be really hard to make those friendships.

0:34:54.040 --> 0:34:58.719
<v Speaker 10>But also he's like my best friend, so there's that,

0:34:58.760 --> 0:35:01.440
<v Speaker 10>and I could always visit and fly and I have

0:35:01.560 --> 0:35:02.759
<v Speaker 10>that ability.

0:35:02.840 --> 0:35:04.680
<v Speaker 4>And you can't just keep it long distance. For the

0:35:04.719 --> 0:35:05.280
<v Speaker 4>time being.

0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:09.359
<v Speaker 10>We are, Yeah, we're making plans. We're seeing each other

0:35:09.480 --> 0:35:12.879
<v Speaker 10>like every other month or so. We talk every night,

0:35:13.600 --> 0:35:16.080
<v Speaker 10>and we've kind of built like little things that are

0:35:16.120 --> 0:35:19.959
<v Speaker 10>special to us for being a long distance so I could.

0:35:20.040 --> 0:35:21.360
<v Speaker 10>I told him, I said I could do this for

0:35:21.360 --> 0:35:23.400
<v Speaker 10>about a year. But then that's it. I'm done.

0:35:23.560 --> 0:35:25.320
<v Speaker 4>What do you when you say you built little things?

0:35:25.360 --> 0:35:27.600
<v Speaker 4>What does that mean? Like, what's an example of built

0:35:27.600 --> 0:35:28.440
<v Speaker 4>little things?

0:35:28.719 --> 0:35:31.400
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, so, like every morning I send him a picture

0:35:31.400 --> 0:35:33.880
<v Speaker 10>of what I'm wearing to work that day, just like

0:35:34.000 --> 0:35:35.160
<v Speaker 10>every day, I.

0:35:35.080 --> 0:35:40.279
<v Speaker 4>Always your dick pic. It was our fun actually, but

0:35:40.360 --> 0:35:41.840
<v Speaker 4>only from sometimes.

0:35:42.280 --> 0:35:45.720
<v Speaker 10>I've never wanted them before actually, but now I'm.

0:35:45.560 --> 0:35:49.520
<v Speaker 2>Like, oh, I'm still waiting to meet the guy that

0:35:49.600 --> 0:35:50.879
<v Speaker 2>makes me want to see a dick pick.

0:35:51.040 --> 0:35:53.839
<v Speaker 10>So I never I never thought I would be that

0:35:53.880 --> 0:35:56.879
<v Speaker 10>way either, Chelsea, seriously, but he's it.

0:35:56.840 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 3>Is you are in love.

0:35:59.480 --> 0:36:00.920
<v Speaker 5>Is there a way for you to go there for

0:36:01.000 --> 0:36:04.360
<v Speaker 5>like two months or three months, like an extended vacation

0:36:04.520 --> 0:36:06.200
<v Speaker 5>so you have a sort of a sense of what

0:36:06.239 --> 0:36:08.800
<v Speaker 5>a long just being there over like a week is,

0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:10.440
<v Speaker 5>Like I wish.

0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:13.040
<v Speaker 10>I'm gonna The nice thing is I'm actually going to

0:36:13.120 --> 0:36:16.120
<v Speaker 10>go next month to like see where he lives and

0:36:16.280 --> 0:36:18.440
<v Speaker 10>see the neighborhood and just see what it would be

0:36:18.520 --> 0:36:21.520
<v Speaker 10>like for like the weekend. Because of my job, I'm

0:36:21.560 --> 0:36:23.800
<v Speaker 10>a program director and they need me in the office

0:36:23.920 --> 0:36:26.960
<v Speaker 10>to handle my staff. It'd cool if I had like

0:36:27.000 --> 0:36:29.440
<v Speaker 10>a remote job and could kind of be bi coastal.

0:36:30.000 --> 0:36:33.279
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think that you should definitely a if you're

0:36:33.320 --> 0:36:35.359
<v Speaker 2>okay with this for a year, great, take a year,

0:36:35.680 --> 0:36:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Take a year, go see his neighborhood, and the next

0:36:38.160 --> 0:36:40.480
<v Speaker 2>time you're going there and spend the weekend there. But

0:36:40.520 --> 0:36:42.120
<v Speaker 2>you have to plan a time where you're going to

0:36:42.160 --> 0:36:44.959
<v Speaker 2>spend a longer duration of time there in this year

0:36:45.040 --> 0:36:47.799
<v Speaker 2>that you're talking about, And if you do lose your job,

0:36:47.840 --> 0:36:49.600
<v Speaker 2>then that opens you up to get a job where

0:36:49.640 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 2>you can be by coastal.

0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:52.160
<v Speaker 4>So then you can have the best of both worlds.

0:36:52.200 --> 0:36:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Because is there a situation where you would keep your

0:36:54.040 --> 0:36:56.960
<v Speaker 2>house in Washington and then also kind of go back

0:36:57.000 --> 0:36:58.879
<v Speaker 2>and forth if you had a by coastal job.

0:36:59.120 --> 0:37:01.840
<v Speaker 4>I mean, that's what you mean, and right, Yeah, I think.

0:37:01.640 --> 0:37:05.040
<v Speaker 10>I could totally manage that. I have a dog, but

0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:08.080
<v Speaker 10>I have a place where she could go that she loves,

0:37:08.120 --> 0:37:10.480
<v Speaker 10>so like I could, I could make it work for

0:37:10.560 --> 0:37:11.920
<v Speaker 10>a couple of years if I wanted to.

0:37:12.280 --> 0:37:13.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think that's what you should do.

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:15.840
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't make any rash decisions just yet, you know

0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:16.279
<v Speaker 2>what I mean.

0:37:16.440 --> 0:37:17.879
<v Speaker 4>Just start spending time there.

0:37:17.960 --> 0:37:19.520
<v Speaker 2>Spend as much time there as you can so you

0:37:19.520 --> 0:37:21.960
<v Speaker 2>can really get a feel for the place and see

0:37:22.120 --> 0:37:24.120
<v Speaker 2>if that excites you, Like, are you going to be

0:37:24.160 --> 0:37:26.920
<v Speaker 2>okay living there? Hopefully you can just be by coastal

0:37:26.960 --> 0:37:30.000
<v Speaker 2>because I think so many long distance relationships are successful

0:37:30.080 --> 0:37:32.200
<v Speaker 2>because of the distance. I know, we all want to

0:37:32.320 --> 0:37:34.719
<v Speaker 2>jump into each other's arms and everyone wants to shack up,

0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:36.920
<v Speaker 2>but it's also there's something to be said for missing

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 2>each other, for keeping the fire burning, you know, for

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:42.440
<v Speaker 2>not living with somebody all the time and getting used

0:37:42.480 --> 0:37:44.759
<v Speaker 2>to all their shit and them throwing wet towels on

0:37:44.800 --> 0:37:47.279
<v Speaker 2>the fucking dry bed. All of that stuff, you know

0:37:47.320 --> 0:37:50.239
<v Speaker 2>what I mean, takes kind of the romance out us and.

0:37:50.200 --> 0:37:51.760
<v Speaker 6>Start to resent their dick pics.

0:37:53.280 --> 0:37:55.400
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we're going to start to resent his dick pics.

0:37:56.960 --> 0:37:59.040
<v Speaker 2>But because how many how many months have you guys

0:37:59.040 --> 0:38:01.360
<v Speaker 2>been seeing each other now as we speak.

0:38:01.480 --> 0:38:04.000
<v Speaker 10>So that's it's complicated because I've known him for a

0:38:04.120 --> 0:38:07.480
<v Speaker 10>year and but when we've been talking and seeing each other,

0:38:08.200 --> 0:38:10.919
<v Speaker 10>but we've kind of like made it official like last

0:38:10.960 --> 0:38:11.640
<v Speaker 10>month sometime.

0:38:12.160 --> 0:38:14.719
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, so give it some more time. Please just

0:38:14.760 --> 0:38:16.799
<v Speaker 2>be smart about it. You're forty years old, You're not

0:38:16.840 --> 0:38:18.880
<v Speaker 2>gonna I just want you to look at that community

0:38:18.920 --> 0:38:21.600
<v Speaker 2>that you built, you know, in Washington, like as a

0:38:21.680 --> 0:38:22.480
<v Speaker 2>very sacred thing.

0:38:22.640 --> 0:38:24.799
<v Speaker 4>Like a lot of people yearn for that. A lot

0:38:24.800 --> 0:38:25.840
<v Speaker 4>of people don't have that.

0:38:26.239 --> 0:38:27.960
<v Speaker 2>So I really want you to make sure you like

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:30.960
<v Speaker 2>that's more valuable, in my opinion, in your life than

0:38:31.000 --> 0:38:32.560
<v Speaker 2>anything or any love affair.

0:38:32.880 --> 0:38:35.240
<v Speaker 4>That is your community and that is your group.

0:38:35.640 --> 0:38:38.439
<v Speaker 2>So just be very respectful of that and don't toss

0:38:38.440 --> 0:38:39.160
<v Speaker 2>it away lightly.

0:38:39.640 --> 0:38:41.799
<v Speaker 10>Oh no, I wouldn't. Yeah, No, I have been so

0:38:42.000 --> 0:38:44.600
<v Speaker 10>lucky and blessed with my friendships and the friends that

0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:47.200
<v Speaker 10>I have, They've they've really stepped up, Like I've had

0:38:47.239 --> 0:38:49.560
<v Speaker 10>surgeries and they've stepped up to help with my dog

0:38:49.680 --> 0:38:52.400
<v Speaker 10>and me and just I just feel so lucky to

0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:54.839
<v Speaker 10>have what I have here. And that's why it's not

0:38:54.880 --> 0:38:57.799
<v Speaker 10>so easy as it might be for some people to

0:38:57.840 --> 0:38:59.480
<v Speaker 10>be like, oh, it's not a big deal, I'll just go,

0:38:59.600 --> 0:39:02.840
<v Speaker 10>I'll just move. And it's like I have everything here,

0:39:03.239 --> 0:39:03.440
<v Speaker 10>you know.

0:39:04.200 --> 0:39:06.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well just keep that in mind with everything, right, Like,

0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:09.000
<v Speaker 2>put that at the top of your list. That is

0:39:09.040 --> 0:39:11.400
<v Speaker 2>at the top of your list. Even your love affair

0:39:11.560 --> 0:39:14.160
<v Speaker 2>is number two. Yeah, so remember that.

0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:17.560
<v Speaker 10>I will. Yeah, No, that's super helpful to hear. I

0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:20.840
<v Speaker 10>really appreciate it because I've been really stuck. But I

0:39:20.880 --> 0:39:24.360
<v Speaker 10>will say, Chelsea, you are the reason I'm not married.

0:39:25.000 --> 0:39:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, thank you. I appreciate that kind of feedback.

0:39:29.680 --> 0:39:29.919
<v Speaker 6>Oh.

0:39:30.080 --> 0:39:32.720
<v Speaker 10>Like I always thought when I was like in my twenties,

0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:34.840
<v Speaker 10>I had to you know, get married and let a

0:39:34.880 --> 0:39:38.400
<v Speaker 10>man take care of me. And I realized now I'm like,

0:39:38.680 --> 0:39:41.240
<v Speaker 10>I take care of myself. I can pay my own bills,

0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:43.200
<v Speaker 10>and I can buy my own house, my own car,

0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:45.680
<v Speaker 10>and I can be the breadwinner.

0:39:46.200 --> 0:39:48.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, rufus and I were just talking before you came

0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:51.399
<v Speaker 2>on about taking care of ourselves emotionally as artists, right,

0:39:51.719 --> 0:39:53.360
<v Speaker 2>And I think this is also a good kind of

0:39:53.400 --> 0:39:55.839
<v Speaker 2>point of interest to talk about, is.

0:39:55.760 --> 0:39:58.040
<v Speaker 4>That women are We're all.

0:39:57.920 --> 0:40:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Able to take care of ourselves in every very possible way,

0:40:01.080 --> 0:40:03.920
<v Speaker 2>yet we're always looking for someone to lean on for

0:40:04.080 --> 0:40:08.200
<v Speaker 2>whether it's financially or emotionally or spiritually, like we want

0:40:08.239 --> 0:40:10.279
<v Speaker 2>someone who knows more than we do or that we

0:40:10.360 --> 0:40:13.759
<v Speaker 2>can go to when we have the capabilities within us

0:40:13.800 --> 0:40:16.520
<v Speaker 2>to take care of ourselves in every way. So I

0:40:16.520 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 2>think that's it's a great reminder, and I think a

0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:20.320
<v Speaker 2>lot of women who are listening today are going to

0:40:20.480 --> 0:40:23.040
<v Speaker 2>respond to that and think about are they taking care

0:40:23.080 --> 0:40:23.520
<v Speaker 2>of themselves?

0:40:23.600 --> 0:40:25.839
<v Speaker 4>Have they built a life that they want for themselves?

0:40:26.040 --> 0:40:28.000
<v Speaker 4>Because we all have the ability to do that.

0:40:28.080 --> 0:40:30.840
<v Speaker 2>It's about going to a place that you love, you know,

0:40:30.920 --> 0:40:33.560
<v Speaker 2>building your community, building your friendships.

0:40:33.600 --> 0:40:34.520
<v Speaker 4>That does take time.

0:40:34.600 --> 0:40:38.320
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't happen instantly, not for everyone anyway.

0:40:38.200 --> 0:40:40.440
<v Speaker 4>And certainly I'm sure not for you. Right. Did it

0:40:40.480 --> 0:40:42.240
<v Speaker 4>happen right away or did it take time?

0:40:43.239 --> 0:40:45.960
<v Speaker 10>I definitely like took time where I realized, like, oh

0:40:46.080 --> 0:40:49.120
<v Speaker 10>I can buy a house, I can I can do

0:40:49.239 --> 0:40:51.759
<v Speaker 10>it on my own. And I phenomenon since I was

0:40:51.800 --> 0:40:54.800
<v Speaker 10>like sixteen, So it took a while to like figure

0:40:54.840 --> 0:40:57.120
<v Speaker 10>out that I didn't need a man to like rescue me,

0:40:57.840 --> 0:41:00.279
<v Speaker 10>that I could just rescue myself and I can do

0:41:00.320 --> 0:41:03.000
<v Speaker 10>it all and it will be fine. And it's been great.

0:41:03.080 --> 0:41:05.359
<v Speaker 10>I love my life, like I said, you know, and

0:41:05.840 --> 0:41:08.319
<v Speaker 10>I don't need someone to pay my bills because I

0:41:08.360 --> 0:41:11.880
<v Speaker 10>can pay them, you know. I can do it all

0:41:11.920 --> 0:41:15.520
<v Speaker 10>and I don't need anybody else. But it's the it'd

0:41:15.560 --> 0:41:19.200
<v Speaker 10>be nice to have someone by my side. Yes, I

0:41:19.239 --> 0:41:20.279
<v Speaker 10>don't need anybody.

0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:20.919
<v Speaker 4>Great.

0:41:20.960 --> 0:41:25.120
<v Speaker 10>It's just like having that best friend that's just walking

0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:26.360
<v Speaker 10>alongside you in life.

0:41:26.719 --> 0:41:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, and they can walk alongside you, you know, across

0:41:29.920 --> 0:41:32.440
<v Speaker 2>the country. It's not like you're across the world for

0:41:32.560 --> 0:41:36.440
<v Speaker 2>the time being anyway. So right, you know, walk just

0:41:36.680 --> 0:41:39.240
<v Speaker 2>picture each other walking, Picture him and you walking towards

0:41:39.239 --> 0:41:41.360
<v Speaker 2>each other at a very slow pace.

0:41:41.880 --> 0:41:42.439
<v Speaker 4>I love it.

0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:44.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:41:44.480 --> 0:41:46.359
<v Speaker 4>Okay, well that sounds like you've got a plan.

0:41:46.400 --> 0:41:48.200
<v Speaker 2>You're gonna wait a little bit, You're gonna wait a year,

0:41:48.400 --> 0:41:49.560
<v Speaker 2>figure it out, spend some.

0:41:49.520 --> 0:41:51.880
<v Speaker 4>More time there, and we're in agreement. We're all in

0:41:51.920 --> 0:41:52.279
<v Speaker 4>a cord.

0:41:52.320 --> 0:41:55.200
<v Speaker 2>Okayyy Okay, great, love it.

0:41:55.239 --> 0:41:56.239
<v Speaker 4>Thanks for calling him.

0:41:56.520 --> 0:41:59.040
<v Speaker 10>Thank you, you want to have a good day. Bye.

0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:02.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, she was probably the most sensible person that we've

0:42:02.080 --> 0:42:03.439
<v Speaker 2>had call in for advice ever.

0:42:04.120 --> 0:42:07.880
<v Speaker 5>Yes, An, FYI I want someone to pay my bills.

0:42:08.200 --> 0:42:09.879
<v Speaker 2>I know I'm at the point where I would also

0:42:09.960 --> 0:42:11.960
<v Speaker 2>like that too, rufus. Let's fucking be honest. I've been

0:42:11.960 --> 0:42:14.120
<v Speaker 2>paying my bills and a lot of other people's bills

0:42:14.239 --> 0:42:16.239
<v Speaker 2>for a really fucking long time, and I would like

0:42:16.280 --> 0:42:18.960
<v Speaker 2>to commingle funds with another very wealthy person.

0:42:22.040 --> 0:42:26.280
<v Speaker 3>Well, our next caller is Katie. Katie is thirty five.

0:42:27.080 --> 0:42:28.280
<v Speaker 3>She says, you're Chelsea.

0:42:28.800 --> 0:42:30.520
<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not the only one in this situation,

0:42:30.680 --> 0:42:33.760
<v Speaker 1>but it sure feels that way sometimes. I have one sibling,

0:42:33.880 --> 0:42:36.239
<v Speaker 1>my twin brother, who's married and they've blessed me with

0:42:36.520 --> 0:42:39.400
<v Speaker 1>a nephew and a little niece, so that relationship factors

0:42:39.400 --> 0:42:41.959
<v Speaker 1>into my question. Because it's just my brother and I.

0:42:41.960 --> 0:42:44.600
<v Speaker 1>I haven't spoken to my mom or dad. He's more

0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:47.560
<v Speaker 1>just collateral damage since I can't get to him without

0:42:47.560 --> 0:42:50.319
<v Speaker 1>her being a part of it. Since November twenty twenty one,

0:42:50.920 --> 0:42:53.200
<v Speaker 1>my relationship with my mom has been complicated for a

0:42:53.239 --> 0:42:56.160
<v Speaker 1>long time, but the final straw was how she interfered

0:42:56.160 --> 0:42:58.480
<v Speaker 1>with my relationship with the love of my life and

0:42:58.560 --> 0:43:01.040
<v Speaker 1>interracial relationship she knows fully accepted.

0:43:01.840 --> 0:43:02.839
<v Speaker 3>We've since split for.

0:43:02.840 --> 0:43:05.759
<v Speaker 1>Other reasons, but it doesn't change how she acted. After

0:43:05.800 --> 0:43:09.040
<v Speaker 1>giving her too many chances, I finally cut contact, and honestly,

0:43:09.160 --> 0:43:12.000
<v Speaker 1>my life has been better for it. Here's the problem.

0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:15.000
<v Speaker 1>She just turned seventy, and I know time isn't infinite.

0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:17.319
<v Speaker 1>I feel at peace. Was staying no contact with the

0:43:17.360 --> 0:43:20.600
<v Speaker 1>idea of getting that call one day where it's too

0:43:20.719 --> 0:43:23.839
<v Speaker 1>late makes me wonder while I regret not trying, am

0:43:23.920 --> 0:43:25.759
<v Speaker 1>I just grieving the mother I wish I had? Or

0:43:25.800 --> 0:43:28.080
<v Speaker 1>should I make some sort of move before it's too late?

0:43:28.560 --> 0:43:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Or is this just one of those painful realities you

0:43:30.560 --> 0:43:33.759
<v Speaker 1>have to sit with. Would love to hear your take, Katie.

0:43:33.640 --> 0:43:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Hi, this is Rufus Wainwright, our special guest today. First

0:43:37.200 --> 0:43:39.799
<v Speaker 2>of all, I find that kind of behavior, like any

0:43:39.840 --> 0:43:44.040
<v Speaker 2>sort of racist, misogynist kind of anything that falls under

0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:46.840
<v Speaker 2>that umbrella, to be kind of unforgivable. You can learn

0:43:47.080 --> 0:43:49.760
<v Speaker 2>and make mistakes and come back that and that's fine,

0:43:49.760 --> 0:43:51.319
<v Speaker 2>But if that's just the way you're going to be,

0:43:51.360 --> 0:43:53.920
<v Speaker 2>and that's your attitude, so I think that what you

0:43:53.960 --> 0:43:57.320
<v Speaker 2>could do to just get your feelings down on paper

0:43:57.640 --> 0:44:00.000
<v Speaker 2>is to write, like, now that you're not in the relation,

0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:01.160
<v Speaker 2>should ship to.

0:44:01.160 --> 0:44:02.919
<v Speaker 4>Let her know? Does she know that you're not in

0:44:02.960 --> 0:44:04.000
<v Speaker 4>the relationship anymore?

0:44:04.440 --> 0:44:05.160
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, she did.

0:44:05.239 --> 0:44:06.279
<v Speaker 3>My brother let them know.

0:44:06.360 --> 0:44:08.480
<v Speaker 8>But a little bit of a plot twist, we have

0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:11.839
<v Speaker 8>gotten back together, so it's a.

0:44:11.800 --> 0:44:13.000
<v Speaker 4>Little still the issue.

0:44:13.080 --> 0:44:15.439
<v Speaker 10>Oh okay, great, Yeah, which is great for me. Yeah.

0:44:15.480 --> 0:44:18.759
<v Speaker 8>I mean, I'm so happy and my brother and his

0:44:18.800 --> 0:44:22.200
<v Speaker 8>family are really supportive of us, and so, you know,

0:44:22.239 --> 0:44:23.799
<v Speaker 8>I'm just I don't know, I just feel like I'm

0:44:23.800 --> 0:44:26.680
<v Speaker 8>in this weird I was going along fine and then

0:44:26.719 --> 0:44:29.080
<v Speaker 8>all of a sudden, it was like I just when

0:44:29.320 --> 0:44:30.920
<v Speaker 8>she turned seventy, I was just like, oh my god,

0:44:30.960 --> 0:44:34.320
<v Speaker 8>I had this weird pressure, like I need to do something.

0:44:34.400 --> 0:44:36.640
<v Speaker 8>I don't know, But I'm so curious what you think

0:44:36.719 --> 0:44:39.680
<v Speaker 8>about if it's okay to just stay. I mean, if

0:44:39.719 --> 0:44:41.400
<v Speaker 8>I had it my way, I would just continue the

0:44:41.400 --> 0:44:43.560
<v Speaker 8>way I've been continuing. It's been really good for me

0:44:43.840 --> 0:44:46.200
<v Speaker 8>to have no contact. But I'm like, am I missing

0:44:46.200 --> 0:44:47.840
<v Speaker 8>an opportunity for growth here?

0:44:48.400 --> 0:44:50.480
<v Speaker 2>I think you have an opportunity to write down how

0:44:50.520 --> 0:44:52.759
<v Speaker 2>that made you feel, and to write down kind of

0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:55.920
<v Speaker 2>like now that you're looking back at the situation, regardless

0:44:55.960 --> 0:44:57.120
<v Speaker 2>that you got back together, that's great.

0:44:57.120 --> 0:44:57.480
<v Speaker 4>Good for you.

0:44:57.520 --> 0:45:00.279
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you guys worked it out. But just pond

0:45:00.400 --> 0:45:03.200
<v Speaker 2>reflection now that you've had time. How long has it

0:45:03.239 --> 0:45:05.879
<v Speaker 2>been since you you said November twenty twenty one, right,

0:45:06.239 --> 0:45:08.799
<v Speaker 2>so that's been enough years to have a reflection. I'm

0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:11.440
<v Speaker 2>sure she's had some thoughts about it too, So I

0:45:11.440 --> 0:45:13.440
<v Speaker 2>think it'd be nice to write a letter, like send

0:45:13.520 --> 0:45:16.439
<v Speaker 2>her an email or a written letter however you see fit,

0:45:16.920 --> 0:45:20.399
<v Speaker 2>just expressing how that made you feel, how your own

0:45:20.440 --> 0:45:22.920
<v Speaker 2>mother could turn against you based on the color of

0:45:22.960 --> 0:45:26.040
<v Speaker 2>someone's skin, not in a vitriolic way, but just in

0:45:26.040 --> 0:45:27.239
<v Speaker 2>a confounded way.

0:45:27.400 --> 0:45:28.560
<v Speaker 4>Like you were my mother.

0:45:28.680 --> 0:45:31.439
<v Speaker 2>You were supposed to love me unconditionally for the rest

0:45:31.480 --> 0:45:34.040
<v Speaker 2>of my life and support me and guide me. And

0:45:34.080 --> 0:45:37.120
<v Speaker 2>to find out that my mother had these feelings about

0:45:37.120 --> 0:45:40.279
<v Speaker 2>someone makes me question everything I was raised with. You know,

0:45:40.640 --> 0:45:42.640
<v Speaker 2>this makes me question the kind of person I am.

0:45:42.719 --> 0:45:45.200
<v Speaker 2>I believed in you, I believed in you.

0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:46.600
<v Speaker 4>And Dad, and the fact that.

0:45:48.400 --> 0:45:51.920
<v Speaker 2>This issue in this day and age, is keeping you

0:45:51.960 --> 0:45:54.600
<v Speaker 2>from me, like however you want to frame it, but

0:45:54.800 --> 0:45:57.520
<v Speaker 2>like use that as a kind of measuring stick to

0:45:57.600 --> 0:46:00.560
<v Speaker 2>really just get all of your thoughts out so that

0:46:00.600 --> 0:46:03.560
<v Speaker 2>they're not weighing on you so much, and put it

0:46:03.640 --> 0:46:07.439
<v Speaker 2>over to her, send her an email with no expectations.

0:46:07.840 --> 0:46:10.080
<v Speaker 8>Okay, but yeah, I mean you hit the nail on

0:46:10.120 --> 0:46:12.440
<v Speaker 8>the head as far as my feelings about Yeah, like

0:46:12.600 --> 0:46:15.000
<v Speaker 8>I have mommy issues, but like as an adult, I

0:46:15.040 --> 0:46:18.080
<v Speaker 8>feel like it's very it was so jarring when that

0:46:18.200 --> 0:46:18.960
<v Speaker 8>all happened.

0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:22.360
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, and also to maybe to posit a question

0:46:22.520 --> 0:46:26.280
<v Speaker 2>like I would also love to understand how you can

0:46:26.680 --> 0:46:29.520
<v Speaker 2>do you still feel this way? Do you really feel

0:46:29.520 --> 0:46:33.000
<v Speaker 2>differently about your daughter? Like, help me understand how you

0:46:33.080 --> 0:46:36.080
<v Speaker 2>were raised and what you were made to believe, so

0:46:36.120 --> 0:46:38.440
<v Speaker 2>that I can gain a better understanding of where you

0:46:38.520 --> 0:46:41.160
<v Speaker 2>are right now. Throw her some questions that she can

0:46:41.239 --> 0:46:44.600
<v Speaker 2>actually have to answer for herself, and then she's really

0:46:44.640 --> 0:46:48.040
<v Speaker 2>gonna have to contemplate how do I explain feeling this way?

0:46:49.120 --> 0:46:49.440
<v Speaker 6>Okay?

0:46:49.480 --> 0:46:50.400
<v Speaker 4>I love that advice.

0:46:50.719 --> 0:46:52.600
<v Speaker 8>It seems so on the nose to like write a

0:46:52.640 --> 0:46:55.319
<v Speaker 8>letter and that's usually how you know. I but that

0:46:55.400 --> 0:46:56.840
<v Speaker 8>makes a lot of sense, and I think it would

0:46:56.840 --> 0:47:00.560
<v Speaker 8>get I think there's some leftover feelings that have come

0:47:00.600 --> 0:47:02.840
<v Speaker 8>to the surface and I really like that idea of

0:47:02.880 --> 0:47:04.520
<v Speaker 8>just writing it down. I don't even need to send

0:47:04.560 --> 0:47:06.960
<v Speaker 8>it to her, but at least having yeah, you know,

0:47:07.080 --> 0:47:07.840
<v Speaker 8>hitting it on paper.

0:47:07.880 --> 0:47:09.680
<v Speaker 4>I really like that idea. Put it on paper.

0:47:09.680 --> 0:47:11.160
<v Speaker 2>And if you do send it to her then and

0:47:11.200 --> 0:47:13.000
<v Speaker 2>then and you never hear back from her, then that's

0:47:13.000 --> 0:47:15.440
<v Speaker 2>your answer. And if you do and you never know,

0:47:15.719 --> 0:47:17.600
<v Speaker 2>you never know when people in their old age what

0:47:17.760 --> 0:47:21.600
<v Speaker 2>kind of like realizations they come to and and places

0:47:21.640 --> 0:47:23.920
<v Speaker 2>that they go to. You might be surprised, but don't

0:47:23.920 --> 0:47:27.239
<v Speaker 2>expect anything. Just just try to exhaust what's inside of

0:47:27.239 --> 0:47:30.000
<v Speaker 2>you with relation to losing your mom in the way

0:47:30.040 --> 0:47:32.480
<v Speaker 2>that you have, because it's kind of unforgivable, you know,

0:47:32.640 --> 0:47:34.320
<v Speaker 2>like that is really hurtful.

0:47:34.840 --> 0:47:38.399
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I would just say that. And this is more

0:47:38.480 --> 0:47:42.640
<v Speaker 6>for way down the line from now. You're obviously a young,

0:47:43.200 --> 0:47:46.879
<v Speaker 6>young person who leaves compared to me, so there's you've

0:47:46.880 --> 0:47:49.840
<v Speaker 6>got some time on your hands, which is great, but

0:47:49.840 --> 0:47:50.760
<v Speaker 6>but it's.

0:47:50.600 --> 0:47:51.919
<v Speaker 4>One hundred and seven by the way.

0:47:52.000 --> 0:47:58.680
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and I'm a dead composer. So anyways, but I

0:47:58.760 --> 0:48:00.960
<v Speaker 5>you know, I have a lot of friends who are

0:48:01.040 --> 0:48:03.680
<v Speaker 5>and I'm you know, fifty one to admit it, but

0:48:03.719 --> 0:48:05.879
<v Speaker 5>I have friends who are older now in my age,

0:48:06.320 --> 0:48:09.239
<v Speaker 5>and who who are still who have not spoken to

0:48:09.280 --> 0:48:13.320
<v Speaker 5>their parents in many, many years. And there's a distinct

0:48:13.840 --> 0:48:18.320
<v Speaker 5>difference between those who eventually and this is not in

0:48:18.400 --> 0:48:20.640
<v Speaker 5>terms they never got in touch with their parents again,

0:48:20.960 --> 0:48:22.360
<v Speaker 5>you know, like it was over.

0:48:22.640 --> 0:48:23.560
<v Speaker 6>Like if that happens.

0:48:24.040 --> 0:48:26.239
<v Speaker 5>And I don't believe you have to you know, even

0:48:26.280 --> 0:48:28.400
<v Speaker 5>see your parents if you have problems with them, but

0:48:29.200 --> 0:48:31.959
<v Speaker 5>you kind of have to forgive them at some point

0:48:32.120 --> 0:48:35.400
<v Speaker 5>in your heart, you know, however you can, you know,

0:48:35.520 --> 0:48:37.799
<v Speaker 5>I just see a lot of older people who like

0:48:38.160 --> 0:48:40.960
<v Speaker 5>never really who kind of held onto this resentment towards

0:48:40.960 --> 0:48:44.440
<v Speaker 5>their parents that abused them, and it was like it

0:48:44.560 --> 0:48:48.359
<v Speaker 5>really I would just be mindful of that down the line.

0:48:48.400 --> 0:48:50.640
<v Speaker 5>And when I say forgive, I mean it's not even like,

0:48:51.080 --> 0:48:53.359
<v Speaker 5>you know, however you can or just to let them

0:48:53.600 --> 0:48:57.520
<v Speaker 5>free or something from tormenting you, because if it goes

0:48:57.520 --> 0:49:00.600
<v Speaker 5>on any further, I hope it's settled to more than that,

0:49:00.640 --> 0:49:02.759
<v Speaker 5>but just weigh down the line, you have to let

0:49:02.840 --> 0:49:05.240
<v Speaker 5>go of it at some point, I feel personally.

0:49:05.960 --> 0:49:08.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's the thing to say about forgiveness as an

0:49:08.200 --> 0:49:09.440
<v Speaker 1>inside job sort of thing.

0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And that's part of the process of healing yourself

0:49:13.160 --> 0:49:16.000
<v Speaker 2>is just to exhaust those thoughts and those emotions and

0:49:16.040 --> 0:49:18.680
<v Speaker 2>even when they come up for you, even though it

0:49:18.719 --> 0:49:21.200
<v Speaker 2>may feel like, oh, like, I can understand a dynamic

0:49:21.200 --> 0:49:25.640
<v Speaker 2>where you your partner doesn't understand how you or or

0:49:26.480 --> 0:49:29.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, you not understanding your mother's reaction or having

0:49:29.239 --> 0:49:32.120
<v Speaker 2>difficulty with it with relationships, or your partner, Like, I

0:49:32.120 --> 0:49:34.239
<v Speaker 2>can understand that that might be weird too, to even

0:49:34.280 --> 0:49:36.359
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh god, it's so disappointed, or I miss

0:49:36.400 --> 0:49:39.799
<v Speaker 2>my mom or whatever however your feelings might present, but

0:49:39.920 --> 0:49:42.760
<v Speaker 2>like really feel those feelings. You know, it's very valid

0:49:42.840 --> 0:49:48.200
<v Speaker 2>to be to be emotionally harmed by an event like this,

0:49:48.680 --> 0:49:51.520
<v Speaker 2>It is, that's very valid. So, like, the healing component

0:49:51.640 --> 0:49:55.680
<v Speaker 2>is just really important to like really try to always

0:49:55.719 --> 0:49:58.000
<v Speaker 2>continue to heal. It's not just a one and done.

0:49:58.320 --> 0:50:00.880
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't just happen in one sitting or one letter.

0:50:01.120 --> 0:50:05.520
<v Speaker 2>It's a process of forgiveness and forgiveness, and every time

0:50:05.560 --> 0:50:08.640
<v Speaker 2>these feelings come up, forgive her in a way where

0:50:08.719 --> 0:50:11.439
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to communicate and be hanging out with her,

0:50:11.640 --> 0:50:14.120
<v Speaker 2>but forgive her for her own ignorance, for the way

0:50:14.160 --> 0:50:16.359
<v Speaker 2>she was raised, for whatever her parents did to her.

0:50:16.680 --> 0:50:19.600
<v Speaker 8>You know, yeah, no, I love this advice, and it's

0:50:19.680 --> 0:50:20.440
<v Speaker 8>very validating.

0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:21.239
<v Speaker 10>I think, just hear it.

0:50:21.400 --> 0:50:23.840
<v Speaker 8>You know, sometimes I'm like, am I being dramatic? But

0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:26.480
<v Speaker 8>it feels it's like you know, which I think is

0:50:26.480 --> 0:50:29.120
<v Speaker 8>a normal response in these situations. It's for me to

0:50:29.120 --> 0:50:33.200
<v Speaker 8>feel like I'm overreacting, but no, it's it has been

0:50:33.600 --> 0:50:38.200
<v Speaker 8>unbelievably devastating and difficult. And then you know, now that

0:50:38.280 --> 0:50:40.279
<v Speaker 8>I'm feeling better and have healed a lot, I think,

0:50:40.400 --> 0:50:42.279
<v Speaker 8>you know, I'm like, maybe I should dive back in

0:50:42.320 --> 0:50:44.920
<v Speaker 8>that pool, but yeah, I.

0:50:44.840 --> 0:50:46.239
<v Speaker 4>Don't think that's the right way to go about it.

0:50:46.480 --> 0:50:49.440
<v Speaker 8>I love that idea of just writing it down. And also, Chelsea,

0:50:49.480 --> 0:50:52.600
<v Speaker 8>I appreciate this is the worst thing that's ever happened

0:50:52.600 --> 0:50:54.400
<v Speaker 8>in my life. I've never would have pictured this, and

0:50:54.719 --> 0:50:57.400
<v Speaker 8>I don't have that idea of you know, it's.

0:50:57.239 --> 0:50:58.000
<v Speaker 6>Not just one and done.

0:50:58.080 --> 0:51:00.920
<v Speaker 3>Is really helpful to remember that it's a process.

0:51:01.080 --> 0:51:03.200
<v Speaker 10>Yes, I'm going to just get I'm not gonna.

0:51:03.000 --> 0:51:04.800
<v Speaker 3>Just wipe it away and make it go away.

0:51:05.040 --> 0:51:07.319
<v Speaker 2>Well, everyone always thinks when they're going through something like,

0:51:07.480 --> 0:51:09.040
<v Speaker 2>oh I thought I was over that. Why is this

0:51:09.120 --> 0:51:11.040
<v Speaker 2>hitting me again? Why is this hitting me again? It

0:51:11.080 --> 0:51:12.719
<v Speaker 2>was just a week ago. I thought for sure, I'm

0:51:12.719 --> 0:51:15.440
<v Speaker 2>done with this. That's the way grief happens. That's the

0:51:15.440 --> 0:51:18.680
<v Speaker 2>way like emotions work. They kind of slowly drizzle out,

0:51:18.960 --> 0:51:20.640
<v Speaker 2>but you have to give them the proper amount of

0:51:20.640 --> 0:51:23.080
<v Speaker 2>respect and attention when they do come up, right.

0:51:23.560 --> 0:51:26.359
<v Speaker 1>So Yeah, Also, just to address the emotions that you're

0:51:26.400 --> 0:51:28.879
<v Speaker 1>feeling about, feeling selfish or feeling like.

0:51:28.840 --> 0:51:29.640
<v Speaker 3>You're being too extra.

0:51:30.400 --> 0:51:32.840
<v Speaker 1>I think that when you're in a relationship with someone

0:51:32.920 --> 0:51:35.840
<v Speaker 1>like this who's not caring for your feelings, some people

0:51:35.920 --> 0:51:40.359
<v Speaker 1>like this will injure you and then treat you like

0:51:40.400 --> 0:51:43.440
<v Speaker 1>you're being too sensitive because you're bleeding and like you

0:51:43.640 --> 0:51:46.960
<v Speaker 1>made a decision to move farther away from the source

0:51:47.000 --> 0:51:48.000
<v Speaker 1>of those injuries.

0:51:48.239 --> 0:51:50.000
<v Speaker 3>And I think that's totally fine.

0:51:50.480 --> 0:51:54.480
<v Speaker 1>Just remember like, it's not your fault for being too sensitive.

0:51:54.560 --> 0:51:55.680
<v Speaker 3>That's that's the one.

0:51:55.840 --> 0:51:57.239
<v Speaker 1>That's the one a lot of people use, is like

0:51:57.320 --> 0:52:00.000
<v Speaker 1>hyper sensitive sort of thing. You made the right choice

0:52:00.120 --> 0:52:01.719
<v Speaker 1>for you at the time, and there might be a

0:52:01.760 --> 0:52:02.839
<v Speaker 1>different choice in front of you.

0:52:03.400 --> 0:52:03.880
<v Speaker 9>I love that.

0:52:03.960 --> 0:52:04.319
<v Speaker 6>Thank you.

0:52:04.719 --> 0:52:06.399
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, thanks for calling in.

0:52:06.719 --> 0:52:08.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, thank you so much, you guys.

0:52:08.239 --> 0:52:09.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah for sure, Katie.

0:52:09.600 --> 0:52:11.879
<v Speaker 11>Bye, Okay, we're going to take a break and we're

0:52:11.880 --> 0:52:19.120
<v Speaker 11>going to be right back, and we're back with Rufus Wainwright,

0:52:19.280 --> 0:52:21.200
<v Speaker 11>who has a big show coming up in La on

0:52:21.239 --> 0:52:21.840
<v Speaker 11>May fourth.

0:52:22.200 --> 0:52:25.040
<v Speaker 4>Dream Requiem. It's called Where's the show? Rufus.

0:52:25.640 --> 0:52:27.320
<v Speaker 6>It's a Disney Hall downtown.

0:52:27.640 --> 0:52:28.880
<v Speaker 4>That's such a beautiful venue.

0:52:29.200 --> 0:52:31.719
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm very excited about it. Yeah, very excited.

0:52:32.160 --> 0:52:33.880
<v Speaker 4>How does one rehearse for that? Do you go in

0:52:34.040 --> 0:52:35.640
<v Speaker 4>or earlier that day and rehearse?

0:52:36.360 --> 0:52:38.680
<v Speaker 5>Oh no, there's about there's about three days of rehearsals

0:52:38.719 --> 0:52:41.279
<v Speaker 5>with the orchestra and the course, not a ton of

0:52:41.280 --> 0:52:44.320
<v Speaker 5>time because it's so expensive. The great thing about Disney

0:52:44.360 --> 0:52:47.279
<v Speaker 5>Hall though, with me in this project is that I

0:52:47.360 --> 0:52:52.360
<v Speaker 5>had composed the piece Dream Requiem, but it wasn't quite finished,

0:52:52.800 --> 0:52:56.080
<v Speaker 5>and I went to see a concert beforehand at Disney Hall.

0:52:57.040 --> 0:52:59.080
<v Speaker 5>And when when I got in there, I know they

0:52:59.080 --> 0:53:02.160
<v Speaker 5>have one of the most amazing organs in the world

0:53:02.600 --> 0:53:06.360
<v Speaker 5>at Disney Hall. It's this insane instrument that it looks

0:53:06.440 --> 0:53:10.160
<v Speaker 5>great and it sounds incredible. And I sat there looking

0:53:10.200 --> 0:53:12.920
<v Speaker 5>at the at the stage and at the organ. I

0:53:13.000 --> 0:53:15.040
<v Speaker 5>was like, oh my god, I have to have an

0:53:15.200 --> 0:53:20.160
<v Speaker 5>organ in my piece. That I need an organ, but

0:53:20.760 --> 0:53:23.640
<v Speaker 5>so so I uh so. I then went back and

0:53:23.680 --> 0:53:26.279
<v Speaker 5>composed the last little bit of the requiem with that

0:53:26.400 --> 0:53:29.120
<v Speaker 5>in mine, and and now you know, on May the fourth,

0:53:29.160 --> 0:53:31.120
<v Speaker 5>I'm going to get to actually hear that organ play

0:53:31.160 --> 0:53:31.720
<v Speaker 5>in the piece.

0:53:31.760 --> 0:53:33.560
<v Speaker 6>So whatever, I just feel very fortunate.

0:53:34.280 --> 0:53:38.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's gorgeous, beautiful. Yeah, okay, well awesome.

0:53:39.239 --> 0:53:41.839
<v Speaker 4>Well we do we have anything else, Catherine? Or are

0:53:41.840 --> 0:53:42.120
<v Speaker 4>we good?

0:53:42.239 --> 0:53:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I do have one little quickie if you

0:53:44.040 --> 0:53:46.160
<v Speaker 1>want to, let do a quick close out for sure.

0:53:46.680 --> 0:53:50.520
<v Speaker 1>All right, fantastic. So our last question today comes from Casey.

0:53:50.719 --> 0:53:53.840
<v Speaker 1>Casey says, you're Chelsea. I'm twenty eight and in a

0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:56.840
<v Speaker 1>new relationship with a guy for three months. Recently, my

0:53:56.920 --> 0:54:01.040
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend read my private journal without my permission, and in

0:54:01.080 --> 0:54:03.879
<v Speaker 1>my journal I had written some things that weren't complimentary

0:54:03.920 --> 0:54:07.360
<v Speaker 1>about him. I love him very much, but also sometimes

0:54:07.360 --> 0:54:09.160
<v Speaker 1>I just need to vent in my own private journal.

0:54:09.480 --> 0:54:11.719
<v Speaker 1>After reading my journal, he confronted me about it, and

0:54:11.760 --> 0:54:15.560
<v Speaker 1>instead of apologizing for reading it, he demanded I apologize

0:54:15.560 --> 0:54:18.080
<v Speaker 1>for what I wrote, saying that what I did was

0:54:18.160 --> 0:54:21.200
<v Speaker 1>much worse. Again, all I did was write personal thoughts

0:54:21.200 --> 0:54:22.200
<v Speaker 1>in my private journal.

0:54:22.520 --> 0:54:24.800
<v Speaker 3>I ended up apologizing because I was so caught off guard.

0:54:24.840 --> 0:54:26.399
<v Speaker 1>But now I feel weird about it, and I feel

0:54:26.440 --> 0:54:28.040
<v Speaker 1>like I don't have a safe space to write my

0:54:28.040 --> 0:54:30.919
<v Speaker 1>personal thoughts anymore. I also feel like I can't trust

0:54:30.960 --> 0:54:34.320
<v Speaker 1>that he won't read my journal again. Additionally, after this happened,

0:54:34.360 --> 0:54:36.680
<v Speaker 1>he went and told his friends and other people about

0:54:36.680 --> 0:54:40.080
<v Speaker 1>what I wrote, which felt really embarrassing and invasive because

0:54:40.080 --> 0:54:42.400
<v Speaker 1>I also wrote about some personal things I was going through.

0:54:42.640 --> 0:54:46.440
<v Speaker 1>Is this a big red flag or am I being dramatic? Casey, No,

0:54:46.680 --> 0:54:47.760
<v Speaker 1>that's a big red flag.

0:54:48.200 --> 0:54:48.560
<v Speaker 4>Huge.

0:54:49.320 --> 0:54:51.200
<v Speaker 6>You gotta get far away from this person.

0:54:51.440 --> 0:54:53.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, now that's an invasion of privacy, Like that is

0:54:53.880 --> 0:54:57.319
<v Speaker 2>a reason to actually end a relationship. Yes, you can't

0:54:57.320 --> 0:54:59.520
<v Speaker 2>go through other people's private things. You just can't do that.

0:55:00.160 --> 0:55:03.920
<v Speaker 1>Yes, And I mean like to blame you for just

0:55:03.960 --> 0:55:05.440
<v Speaker 1>being able to that's crazy.

0:55:06.000 --> 0:55:08.839
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, he's first of all, if you read someone's like

0:55:09.160 --> 0:55:12.919
<v Speaker 2>you don't, that's supposed to be a secret. And then yeah,

0:55:12.960 --> 0:55:14.720
<v Speaker 2>and then he said double it's like a double whammy.

0:55:14.760 --> 0:55:16.359
<v Speaker 2>He did that, and then he wants to be mad

0:55:16.400 --> 0:55:17.040
<v Speaker 2>at you about it.

0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:19.080
<v Speaker 5>No, and then he tells his friend and then he

0:55:19.120 --> 0:55:21.200
<v Speaker 5>tells his friends about it, which is it's like a

0:55:21.200 --> 0:55:21.839
<v Speaker 5>triple thing.

0:55:22.200 --> 0:55:24.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, exactly, It's unbelievable.

0:55:24.760 --> 0:55:27.120
<v Speaker 2>You're writing, where are you supposed to express yourself if

0:55:27.120 --> 0:55:28.880
<v Speaker 2>you if it's not a safe place to write in

0:55:28.920 --> 0:55:32.480
<v Speaker 2>your journal. Yeah, this guy's no, that's a red flag.

0:55:32.600 --> 0:55:35.359
<v Speaker 2>Break up with him as soon as you can. Problematic

0:55:35.520 --> 0:55:38.520
<v Speaker 2>for sure. Okay, Rufus, thank you so much for being

0:55:38.520 --> 0:55:39.919
<v Speaker 2>here today. It was great talking to you.

0:55:40.360 --> 0:55:41.960
<v Speaker 6>And yes, it's great to see you again.

0:55:42.200 --> 0:55:44.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and I hope I see you in person sometime soon.

0:55:44.680 --> 0:55:47.000
<v Speaker 5>Yes, Yes, we'll try try to come on May the fourth.

0:55:47.040 --> 0:55:49.480
<v Speaker 5>If you're a figure out and Jane's going to be

0:55:49.520 --> 0:55:51.360
<v Speaker 5>amazing made the fourth.

0:55:51.200 --> 0:55:53.279
<v Speaker 2>I would be there. I would come if I'm in La.

0:55:53.320 --> 0:55:54.640
<v Speaker 2>I have to look at my calendar and see if

0:55:54.640 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm in town on Meg.

0:55:55.560 --> 0:55:57.720
<v Speaker 4>In maya okay, okay.

0:55:57.480 --> 0:56:05.120
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye, do do do do do drum roll, Catherine please,

0:56:06.320 --> 0:56:11.040
<v Speaker 2>Chelsea Handler Abroad. Abroad is my European tour. So I'm

0:56:11.040 --> 0:56:13.600
<v Speaker 2>coming to obviously find.

0:56:13.440 --> 0:56:14.240
<v Speaker 4>A husband abroad.

0:56:14.680 --> 0:56:17.800
<v Speaker 2>I need to get the health out of this fucking country,

0:56:18.360 --> 0:56:21.200
<v Speaker 2>and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm

0:56:21.200 --> 0:56:24.880
<v Speaker 2>coming to Rekuvik, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to

0:56:25.280 --> 0:56:29.879
<v Speaker 2>the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May

0:56:29.920 --> 0:56:35.760
<v Speaker 2>and June, I'm coming to Oslo. Stockholm to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,

0:56:36.360 --> 0:56:41.080
<v Speaker 2>New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin,

0:56:41.360 --> 0:56:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Barcelona and Lisbon.

0:56:43.719 --> 0:56:46.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm coming abroad is abroad.

0:56:46.680 --> 0:56:48.600
<v Speaker 3>That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad.

0:56:48.960 --> 0:56:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I I know I want to go see me abroad

0:56:51.000 --> 0:56:54.200
<v Speaker 2>and there all be there all be excellent.

0:56:55.239 --> 0:56:56.440
<v Speaker 3>Do you want advice from Chelsea?

0:56:56.760 --> 0:57:00.279
<v Speaker 1>Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

0:57:00.280 --> 0:57:03.400
<v Speaker 1>full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching

0:57:03.480 --> 0:57:07.279
<v Speaker 1>at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered

0:57:07.320 --> 0:57:11.040
<v Speaker 1>by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure

0:57:11.080 --> 0:57:15.600
<v Speaker 1>to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com