Speaker 1: Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dengler, Dared Haven and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio podcast. Hey, welcome to help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. I'm Jared. Everybody, welcome to help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating? And yeah, no, it's just me by myself
Speaker 1: today and maybe we'll have Dean come on the pocket.
Speaker 1: Oh you stopped talking. I wonder how annoying that is
Speaker 1: for listeners right there as we talk over recorded alternate
Speaker 1: and I keep that in. We should keep that in.
Speaker 1: But let's just give an alternate intro, just just for
Speaker 1: all intents and purposes. All right, you go? Are you eating?
Speaker 1: You go? Hey, welcome to help by sucking everybody? Why
Speaker 1: do I Why do I do these things? Why am
Speaker 1: I so gullible? You knew it? I can tell by
Speaker 1: the way you're looking at me that you knew something
Speaker 1: was up. I knew you're gonna talk. I knew it. Anyway,
Speaker 1: welcome to help I suck at dating. We have a
Speaker 1: great episode coming up. Uh. We have Hannah Burner coming
Speaker 1: up from her comedy towards the House Broken tour, which
Speaker 1: you can get dates and tickets. Will we'll share the information,
Speaker 1: but you can get at www dot Hannah Burner dot
Speaker 1: com that's b E R and E ER. We're very
Speaker 1: excited for her to come on the podcast. She's very funny. First,
Speaker 1: we have to obviously talk about Bachelor and Paradise. Dean.
Speaker 1: You and I are both alums of this show. There's
Speaker 1: some crazy stuff happening. Do you have any initial thoughts?
Speaker 1: Have you been watching? Oh, I gotta ask before we
Speaker 1: start talking about this shared have you been watching? He actually, yeah,
Speaker 1: I watched both episodes this week. I did so well.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Because when I say that Kalin gets me
Speaker 1: excited about watching The Bachelor, I I can't ever confidently
Speaker 1: say that, but she gets me excited about watching Bachelor
Speaker 1: really and this season. This season it's like it's it's entertaining.
Speaker 1: I am already good. I almost like would watch it
Speaker 1: by myself even if she wasn't around. Um, it's been good,
Speaker 1: it's been entertaining. It's been like obviously super drama filled,
Speaker 1: so I guess maybe that's why were I am super
Speaker 1: into it. But yeah, I mean I've been I've been
Speaker 1: excited for every Monday and Tuesday of the week just
Speaker 1: to watch Bachelor in Paradise. I want to say I'm embarrassed,
Speaker 1: but I'm not. I'm not embarrassed. No, you shouldn't. You
Speaker 1: shouldn't be embarrassed. We we were on the show. That's
Speaker 1: way worse than watching the show. Okay, it's a really
Speaker 1: good point. That's a really good point. First and foremost,
Speaker 1: Joe and Um, oh my god, Serena, No, Joe and Kendall,
Speaker 1: Kelly on the mind, Joe and Kendall, your thoughts. I
Speaker 1: see both sides of it. Um, I didn't love seeing
Speaker 1: Kendall come down to the beach, but it's not it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It's not her fault. You know, Joe came down to
Speaker 1: the beach too, so it's not like we can point
Speaker 1: the finger out Kendall. And it just so happens that
Speaker 1: Joe came down first, and so he kind of gets
Speaker 1: like the benefit of the doubt in that sense. So
Speaker 1: I see both sides of it. I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: is to blame. Um, I don't think that there are
Speaker 1: any It seems like Joe is over it entirely. It
Speaker 1: seems like Kendall maybe, isn't. I think Kendall is much
Speaker 1: more into Joe than Joe's into Kendall right now. And
Speaker 1: it breaks my heart because I feel this is an
Speaker 1: example of two wonderful people who just didn't work out,
Speaker 1: who didn't make it in a relationship, and it sucks
Speaker 1: because usually in a relationship you have one person to
Speaker 1: blame more than the other, where this one, I just
Speaker 1: feel so bad for them both, because I love Kendall
Speaker 1: and Joe equally and I both think they're incredible people,
Speaker 1: and so like seeing them hurt over this, it's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: please get back together, because like, I can't emotionally take this,
Speaker 1: and I just want you guys to be happy. And
Speaker 1: it's totally apparent to me that Kendall's much more into
Speaker 1: Joe than Joe's into Kendall. And I just wish that
Speaker 1: she went down there with the intent of either being
Speaker 1: with Joe or dating other people. I think that was
Speaker 1: her only fault, because she went down there with apparently
Speaker 1: the mindset of, well, I still have feelings for Joe,
Speaker 1: but I am here to possibly date other people too,
Speaker 1: But I want to see if the doors still closed
Speaker 1: on Joe, and I wish that she went down there
Speaker 1: with the intent that you had. And this is why
Speaker 1: I tell everybody, because what you did so well, rightfully
Speaker 1: so was when you left you came back to Paradise
Speaker 1: and you were like, I'm only here for Calin. I'm
Speaker 1: only leaving here with Calin. I'm not staying. And that
Speaker 1: was such a great move and such a romantic one,
Speaker 1: and you looked great, obviously, But with Kendall, I just
Speaker 1: wish that she went down and said, Joe, I know
Speaker 1: that I said, you know, I didn't want to move
Speaker 1: to Chicago and that we were done, but I still
Speaker 1: have feelings. I miss you in my life. I want
Speaker 1: you in my life. I'm willing to give Chicago a
Speaker 1: try if you leave with me right now, or she
Speaker 1: goes down there and says, Joe, you know, I'm never
Speaker 1: moving to Chicago. I want to move on. And I
Speaker 1: felt like moving on I could do it in Paradise.
Speaker 1: It might have been the best place for me to
Speaker 1: move on. But instead it's like this middle ground where
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, do you want to be with Joe
Speaker 1: or do you want to date other people? Because you
Speaker 1: kind of want to be with Joe, but also you're
Speaker 1: staying in Paradise to maybe see if somebody else comes
Speaker 1: down the stairs, and you can't watch Joe make out
Speaker 1: with anybody else. It's like You're only gonna hurt yourself, right,
Speaker 1: I think, Jared, I think you just walked into the garage,
Speaker 1: grabbed the biggest thing you could find, and nail that
Speaker 1: right on the head. Because because when I was watching
Speaker 1: that whole exchange between them, you know, Kendall comes down,
Speaker 1: she has a conversation with Joe. First thing I noticed
Speaker 1: was the chemistry is still there, There's no question about it.
Speaker 1: They they're still bouncing off each other as they used to,
Speaker 1: but they never they're talking about why they broke up,
Speaker 1: but they never addressed how things could be better and
Speaker 1: moving forward. Kendall was never like, I want to move
Speaker 1: to Chicago, and Joe was never like, oh, I would
Speaker 1: totally move back to l A. There was never that conversation.
Speaker 1: So Kendall came down seemingly wanting to get Joe back,
Speaker 1: but never providing a solution as to how their relationship
Speaker 1: would would not fail like it did last time. So
Speaker 1: that was my biggest gripe with it. And then also
Speaker 1: to kind of even reverse a little bit more. When
Speaker 1: Joe was telling Arena about why him and Kendall broke up,
Speaker 1: he never really they at least it wasn't aired they
Speaker 1: definitely could have had a conversation, but he never spoke
Speaker 1: with her and she never spoke with him about what
Speaker 1: they would do if they were to leave Paradise because
Speaker 1: I know Serena doesn't live in Chicago. So it's like
Speaker 1: if Joe has to be in Chicago and his partner
Speaker 1: has to be in whatever city they're in, then like
Speaker 1: what are they doing? You know, why is Joe going
Speaker 1: to have another two year relationship with a girl that's
Speaker 1: not gonna want to move to Chicago? And I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's true or not. And again, like they
Speaker 1: definitely could have had that conversation that it just didn't
Speaker 1: get aired for whatever reason. Um, but it just seems
Speaker 1: like something that's so important that they just keep glossing
Speaker 1: over every single time. But I mean, it's gonna see
Speaker 1: Kettle down there. I I feel for her definitely, Like
Speaker 1: it'd be tough to go down to Paradise and see
Speaker 1: someone that you're like still kind of like in love with.
Speaker 1: I think she's definitely still in love with him. They
Speaker 1: were in love, and uh, especially like coming in so late,
Speaker 1: like she she's definitely starting well behind where he started,
Speaker 1: and so like, what is she going to do meet
Speaker 1: a guy. And that's another bad part totally because the
Speaker 1: problem is Joe. I bet you any money if Kendall
Speaker 1: was there, day one, Joe and Kendall will be dating.
Speaker 1: Because remember all the feelings that he was having in
Speaker 1: the beginning about how he didn't want to be there anymore.
Speaker 1: Everything reminded him Kendall, Like, what what happens if Kendall
Speaker 1: walked down those stairs while he was going through this time?
Speaker 1: I feel like there might have been something there. But
Speaker 1: now Joe has kind of moved on with Serena. They're happy,
Speaker 1: he's happy, and then Kendall comes walking down. He's like, well,
Speaker 1: part of my heart has already moved on. So she,
Speaker 1: like you said, is playing from behind. Yeah. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess this is one of those things we will never know.
Speaker 1: I will say I love Joe and Sterena together. Joe
Speaker 1: is a nice guy. Serena, from what I've seen it
Speaker 1: very seems like an incredibly uh sarcastic and like comedic person,
Speaker 1: which I really appreciate it. So they seem to have
Speaker 1: a very good relationship. Is it better or worse than
Speaker 1: Joe's and Kendall's. It's not my decision to make but
Speaker 1: so far what we see has been good for them,
Speaker 1: maybe bad for Kendall, But I do want to move
Speaker 1: on to Obviously, the main topic of the most recent
Speaker 1: week of Bachelor Paradise is well, like topic one A
Speaker 1: and one bat so one A in my opinion to
Speaker 1: be like Brendan and Piper, one B would be Chris
Speaker 1: and Alana and just Senya. But I do think that
Speaker 1: the Brendan Piper thing has kind of like grasps more
Speaker 1: headlines over the past week or so. So what is
Speaker 1: your take on that. I think it's all under the
Speaker 1: umbrella of scheming and talking before going to paradise, you know, right,
Speaker 1: But but let's say this, like there was definitely scheming
Speaker 1: and talking before. Okay, let me take that back. There
Speaker 1: was no scheming, but maybe talking before our paradise is
Speaker 1: definitely but I think that they're like kind of taking
Speaker 1: it to another level, Like there they're going above and
Speaker 1: beyond with that kind of stuff. Well, like Brendan and
Speaker 1: Piper are just lying about it like that's I think
Speaker 1: the most frustrating is Listen, we have Instagram followers. Instagram
Speaker 1: and followers is really cool and like when you go
Speaker 1: on the show of course there's a part of you
Speaker 1: that goes on for the business aspect of it now,
Speaker 1: like I think for Austin, for me Ashley at least,
Speaker 1: Like when we went on the show, of course we
Speaker 1: went on for love, but we went also for the opportunity,
Speaker 1: the experience to be on TV and to do these
Speaker 1: incredible things. And like we didn't really know about Instagram
Speaker 1: at the time. We just got super lucky. But now
Speaker 1: I don't blame people to go on the show and
Speaker 1: part for gathering and Instagram following, like it kind of
Speaker 1: comes with it, all of it. Where I put the
Speaker 1: fault on is if you're going to intentionally try to
Speaker 1: screw someone over and play the game to gain followers
Speaker 1: on Instagram, get the hell out of here. And nobody's
Speaker 1: got time for that. And so like it's like Brendan
Speaker 1: was intentionally lying to Natasha about their relationship and then
Speaker 1: he tried to like play it off like, oh, you
Speaker 1: had selective hearing, and he pretty much said to her
Speaker 1: face and behind the scenes that he didn't have any
Speaker 1: other prospects. And it's like, dude, don't be a jerk, alright, bro, Like,
Speaker 1: come on, man, So I agree, I agree with your
Speaker 1: larger point. But I do think that the biggest issue
Speaker 1: with what they what Brendan did, Brendon or Brandon Brendon did,
Speaker 1: the biggest thing in my opinion, Um, And you definitely
Speaker 1: touch on this a bit. It's not the scheming is
Speaker 1: like bad and like frowned upon, But there was so
Speaker 1: much time between the Paradise before this that I kind
Speaker 1: of can give them a pass. The biggest issue that
Speaker 1: I have with that guy doing what he did was
Speaker 1: the things that he did and said to Natasha to
Speaker 1: like carry his existence on the beach on Um, Like
Speaker 1: he was gaslighting, he was lying, he was just kind
Speaker 1: of doing whatever he needed to do. Uh, and then
Speaker 1: his girl showed up, and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: he's like saying, how annoying this other girl was, And
Speaker 1: it's just like so so so. Scheming is bad, but
Speaker 1: it's not the word thing. And I think the worst
Speaker 1: thing is gaslighting and manipulating and being a jerk to
Speaker 1: someone just so you can eventually get to the point
Speaker 1: where the person that you were scheming with is showing up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, listen, there is an element of a game
Speaker 1: in Bachelor in Paradise. It's a reality television show. You know,
Speaker 1: it's very rare, real and raw. But of course, like
Speaker 1: there's producers and there's cameras, so like there's gonna be
Speaker 1: people that try to play the game, but like to,
Speaker 1: like you said, manipulate Natasha like that, dude, go to
Speaker 1: hell if you're going to do that, come on, bro,
Speaker 1: like and you know, he issued an apology, which is great,
Speaker 1: and I think, you know, people should give him the
Speaker 1: benefit of doubt. With the apology, people learn, people grow
Speaker 1: um And he obviously has to apologize to Natasha first
Speaker 1: and foremost, and I hope he has already done that privately.
Speaker 1: But what makes me very happy is, of course the
Speaker 1: internet uh stays undefeated because now Natasha pretty sure has
Speaker 1: like eighty thousand more followers than Brendan, which is a
Speaker 1: hundred thousand more followers. He started off Paradise like three fifty.
Speaker 1: I think he's down to two fifty. Now. I want
Speaker 1: to say this, I want to I want to help
Speaker 1: because I haven't talked to anyone about this, just to
Speaker 1: help help me put it into perspective. And I just
Speaker 1: think like a conversation about this would be interesting. So
Speaker 1: imagine going on to a reality television show as we
Speaker 1: did many times, um and expecting some sort of like
Speaker 1: financial benefit to come from it, and then going on
Speaker 1: that show and realizing every second that you're on that show,
Speaker 1: you're actually losing a lot of money. You know what
Speaker 1: that is. And I think that he's been pioneering this
Speaker 1: moving forward, like because everyone thinks there's no such thing
Speaker 1: as bad press, right, like screen time is screen time.
Speaker 1: There's no such thing as bad screen time. You look
Speaker 1: back to like even the most recent season, like Victoria
Speaker 1: l the Queen, she was insufferable, but a lot of
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, well, she had a lot of
Speaker 1: screen time before she got sent home. This Brendan scenario,
Speaker 1: Brendan Piper scenario is setting a precedent for showing everyone
Speaker 1: that like there actually really is a negative like connotation
Speaker 1: and and and repercussions too going into something like Bachelor Paradise, Bachelorette,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, and if you act poorly, people will
Speaker 1: make you pay the financial price of Like now you're
Speaker 1: not gonna get as many brand deals. You're gonna be
Speaker 1: labeled as this guy, this person. Brands are gonna kind
Speaker 1: of like, you know, have a six ft poll before
Speaker 1: they even talk to you. So I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: envy the guy. I've never seen this happen before. Granted
Speaker 1: I'm a newbie to all this kind of stuff, but
Speaker 1: like you think, you go on TV for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: for however amount of time you're on TV for one
Speaker 1: second or a hundred seconds, you're gonna gain followers. But no,
Speaker 1: these guys are actively losing followers and they're onto TVs
Speaker 1: for hours at a time every single week. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: an interesting point, I will say. I I really hope
Speaker 1: that people do give Brendan and Piper uh an opportunity
Speaker 1: to apologize, talk about their actions, see if they've grown
Speaker 1: from it, see if they've learned from it, because I
Speaker 1: just I, you know, he made a mistake and she
Speaker 1: made a mistake, and I just I guess I believe
Speaker 1: in second chances. It's actually funny that we're talking about
Speaker 1: this now because I don't know if I should say this,
Speaker 1: but Caitl and I were at dinner and I like
Speaker 1: felt bad for Brendan. I feel bad for both of them.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel bad most of all for Natasha.
Speaker 1: That's why I feel bad for most of of course,
Speaker 1: But I don't know why. For whatever reason, my heart
Speaker 1: went out to Brendan. I guess maybe I I it's
Speaker 1: just a guy thing, which I hate saying, but like
Speaker 1: he you know, he knows he messed up. He issued
Speaker 1: his apology, and yet I'm sure even beyond on following
Speaker 1: him on social media, people are like messaging and incredibly
Speaker 1: rude things. Um. And not to say that he isn't
Speaker 1: deserve it, but he doesn't deserve very cruel things like I.
Speaker 1: I agree with you in the sense that I do
Speaker 1: feel bad for anybody who gets villainized on these shows,
Speaker 1: because even if they do deserve it, or you know,
Speaker 1: they deserve the edit that they got, um, they don't
Speaker 1: deserve some of the messages and what people say because
Speaker 1: people are really cruel and it sucks. Because that's why
Speaker 1: I never That's why I rarely. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I should say never, because I'm I've probably done before
Speaker 1: respond to trolls on Instagram or Twitter or anything like
Speaker 1: that unless it's in a jokey, funny way, but like
Speaker 1: somebody who's really mean, which is as you know, a
Speaker 1: lot of the Internet and a lot of comments, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't really respond because what I know is that
Speaker 1: if I respond to it fifty people are gonna respond
Speaker 1: to that one person, and it's gonna feel like we're
Speaker 1: all ganging up against this one person. And I never
Speaker 1: like that because I'm like, listen, as much as this
Speaker 1: person sucks, and I hate what they said, and I
Speaker 1: want to respond so badly. I know if I do,
Speaker 1: fifty other people are gonna say much worse things than
Speaker 1: me and say cruel things. And then like, who does
Speaker 1: that make me? Is that make me really better than
Speaker 1: this person? Is that made me feel better? And I
Speaker 1: kind of felt the same way with Chris and Allana,
Speaker 1: because I mean, sure, yeah, Chris, like when he walked
Speaker 1: in and told everybody after you accepted the day card
Speaker 1: that he like announced that everybody, I'm gonna follow my heart.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what I want. And it's like, bro,
Speaker 1: you don't need to do this, Like you're only making
Speaker 1: it worse for yourself, Like, get the hell out of here.
Speaker 1: And I I don't agree with the way he's handled himself.
Speaker 1: I don't agree with the way Alana handled herself. I
Speaker 1: didn't like what they did. I think they were scheming,
Speaker 1: but like to go back in there and literally have
Speaker 1: everybody on the beach just go at you tell you
Speaker 1: to pack your bags and get the hell out of here.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't like that feeling of
Speaker 1: everybody ganging up on one person, even if that one
Speaker 1: person isn't the wrong. It's just like a little too
Speaker 1: much for me. And I did not like that moment
Speaker 1: at all. Well, so yeah, I appreciate the pivot, I
Speaker 1: think we should talk about that for a second too.
Speaker 1: I when when I was watching everyone that kind of
Speaker 1: gang up on Chris, and you know, he definitely messed up,
Speaker 1: but I kept trying. I kept putting myself in his shoes,
Speaker 1: and like, imagine being there on the beach. He's probably
Speaker 1: been there for like three days maybe at this point,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, like everyone that's been
Speaker 1: there from the very beginning is like just yelling at
Speaker 1: you and cursing at you, and like everyone is just
Speaker 1: in your face. And I feel like he's already kind
Speaker 1: of like the shy, like introverted guy, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, like everyone is like, get out of here.
Speaker 1: I as someone who personally doesn't try to put a
Speaker 1: lot of stock into what people say, like there's no
Speaker 1: denying that that would be such a hard thing to
Speaker 1: deal with, and I felt bad for him too when
Speaker 1: he went back to the Lanna uh and Uh. He
Speaker 1: was like, well, you know, would you leave with me?
Speaker 1: She's like, Chris, I've been here for a day. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, it's definitely. She does not
Speaker 1: want to be with him. She just wants to stay
Speaker 1: in Paradise. So I just felt bad for him. That's
Speaker 1: actually I'm glad you bring that up because I remember
Speaker 1: watching that part two where I would feel like he
Speaker 1: shot himself in the foot by ditching Jasena and going
Speaker 1: for Lana, and then he shot himself in his other
Speaker 1: foot when he told Alanna that he was gonna leave, Like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna if you're gonna jump ship to another ship,
Speaker 1: stay on that ship. You know, like you've already jumped
Speaker 1: off the first ship. Everyone is outcasting you. The very
Speaker 1: least thing you could do is just like ride out
Speaker 1: that other ship that you just gave up everything else
Speaker 1: for to be on that. That actually frustrated me, and
Speaker 1: I don't again, I don't think he deserves any hate
Speaker 1: that he's getting. But I do think what Chris should
Speaker 1: have done was say, listen, I've already my eggs are
Speaker 1: an a Launa's basket, you know, like I gave up
Speaker 1: everything that I had with Gusena to give a shot
Speaker 1: with Alanna, and then all of a sudden, he's like, no,
Speaker 1: I need to leave the beach. And that that proves
Speaker 1: to me that he didn't know what the heck he
Speaker 1: was doing, you know, Yeah, I just think he was
Speaker 1: so overwhelmed in the moment he didn't know what the
Speaker 1: hell to do. And you're right, as it makes it.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel bad for Chris, you know. And
Speaker 1: even though he did scheme and he wasn't the wrong
Speaker 1: and he obviously lied. Um, it just it It makes
Speaker 1: me feel bad when you go back and watch it
Speaker 1: and literally, like everybody, it's just overly mean to him,
Speaker 1: you know. And and so you have every right, like
Speaker 1: Jena has every right to be piste off at Chris
Speaker 1: because he lied to her and he led her on
Speaker 1: and he completely flipped a switch. And so I get
Speaker 1: why people would want to have want to have just
Speaker 1: Senda's back, and I completely understand that, and I want
Speaker 1: them to have just send you back. But to go
Speaker 1: to the extreme of literally yelling at this guy and
Speaker 1: screaming at him to get the hell off the beach
Speaker 1: and pack his bags. It's like, okay, can can we
Speaker 1: not being in high school for three seconds? Like I
Speaker 1: know that he was in high school, but to lower
Speaker 1: yourself to those standards. So am I supposed to root
Speaker 1: for you? Now? I mean, I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: It just didn't. It wasn't a good feeling for me
Speaker 1: watching that when the thing too with it. I think
Speaker 1: this is maybe why we're we have such like a
Speaker 1: visceral reaction to it. Is because neither of us could
Speaker 1: imagine being on like the giving side of that type
Speaker 1: of argument, you know, like you and I never would
Speaker 1: have gone in someone's face and been like, leave the beach.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I don't know, something will, something painful will fall
Speaker 1: upon you, like yeah, I never would would make someone
Speaker 1: do that, And I think I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: Maybe by the season of Paradise, tempers are high, like
Speaker 1: maybe just send you did a really good job of
Speaker 1: having everyone kind of jump into her camp. Well, I
Speaker 1: don't think it was just saying you. I think Chris
Speaker 1: did bring it upon himself, like it was Chris's fall.
Speaker 1: I agree. But but through the two seasons of parais
Speaker 1: I've been on I don't think there's ever been a cast,
Speaker 1: a collective cast, that would have like reigined like the
Speaker 1: Maelstrom upon anyone for anything like they did on Chris,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's like that's that's
Speaker 1: kind of why I'm a little like irked by it
Speaker 1: because having been through that scenario many times that there's
Speaker 1: never been that much like bigger against anything. Ever, no
Speaker 1: one's cared that much ever until this passion well, I
Speaker 1: mean it, uh the wasn't there a fight like between
Speaker 1: Jordan's and somebody else, like a fist fight. Yeah, Jordan
Speaker 1: and um uh I can't remember his name, but yes
Speaker 1: they fought. But even after that fight, like yeah, if
Speaker 1: we wanted to break them up, But then afterwards, like
Speaker 1: everyone on the beach was like we want everyone to
Speaker 1: be friends, like there's no reason for us all to
Speaker 1: be angry at each other. Like no one was being
Speaker 1: like Jordan, get off the beach, dude, you're getting in
Speaker 1: fights you don't Christian was his name. I'm sorry for
Speaker 1: misremembering that. No, I mean, yes, eventually they found their
Speaker 1: way out, but it wasn't like us banding together like
Speaker 1: voting someone off the island. I remember one time on
Speaker 1: season three, Josh Murray, Like, I remember there was things
Speaker 1: going around about Josh Murray because he was dating a
Speaker 1: man to stand at the time, and then he like
Speaker 1: he he was he collected everybody, and he was the
Speaker 1: one who was like, if anybody's got something to say,
Speaker 1: say to me now, like I've been hearing all these things.
Speaker 1: That was the only time, But obviously the roles were
Speaker 1: reversed because it wasn't a bunch of people ganging up
Speaker 1: on one person. Was one person collecting everybody and being like,
Speaker 1: I want to talk to everyone at the same time.
Speaker 1: So I agree with you, Like I just anytime it's
Speaker 1: like eight against one, I'm like, Okay, I he might
Speaker 1: be in the wrong, but I feel uncomfortable watching this.
Speaker 1: So that's the feeling I got. But of course I
Speaker 1: hope to send you, you know, I want her to
Speaker 1: find love. I'm glad that she's staying in Paradise. I
Speaker 1: hope things work out for her. Obviously, Natasha I'm really
Speaker 1: rooting for. I'm very happy that Natasha is, you know,
Speaker 1: gaining so many followers on Instagram throughout this entire time,
Speaker 1: because it's really funny and also she's just a great
Speaker 1: person who I want to support, So I'm glad people
Speaker 1: are following her. She Actually I remember I was talking
Speaker 1: to Ashley about this. She on a podcast a few
Speaker 1: months ago. Uh somebody mentioned she apparently was talking about
Speaker 1: Ashley and I and saying that we were twin flames,
Speaker 1: and she was just saying some really nice things about us,
Speaker 1: and and I've you know, I've met her a couple
Speaker 1: of times and she's great. So I'm really glad Natasha
Speaker 1: is being supported through this time, you know. On that
Speaker 1: note to actually, my brother at his wedding, during his
Speaker 1: vows said that him and his wife, Ashley aren't twin flames. Okay,
Speaker 1: there go a little bit of full circle. Um, we
Speaker 1: are going to take a quick break before we get
Speaker 1: to our guest, Hannah Burner. But before we get there,
Speaker 1: I want to say one more thing about Paradise, something
Speaker 1: that I've really enjoyed and I didn't expect to enjoy.
Speaker 1: In fact, I am a little upset with myself for
Speaker 1: going into this with the wrong interpretation. Kenny has been
Speaker 1: an absolute dream. He has been the coolest, nicest, funniest,
Speaker 1: hottest guy on the beach, and it's I've never had
Speaker 1: like ill feelings towards him, but I was indifferent towards him,
Speaker 1: especially after his he'son a bachelorette but he has just
Speaker 1: to absolutely blow me away. He's so cool, he's so nice,
Speaker 1: he's like so composed and mature, and he's very hot.
Speaker 1: Um and I just want to say that, so so yeah,
Speaker 1: So Kenny, if you're listening to this, me and Jared,
Speaker 1: I just want to say thank you for being just
Speaker 1: like the cool. Another guy that I think is really
Speaker 1: cool throughout this entire situation, Ivan, He doesn't get his
Speaker 1: love love as he should. I think I like Havan
Speaker 1: a lot. I agree, I agree. I think the only
Speaker 1: reason I bring up Kenny is just because Kenny's kind
Speaker 1: of been in the mix a little bit more. Ivan
Speaker 1: was like in it early on. He's kind of just
Speaker 1: been a little neutral ever since. But I want to, like,
Speaker 1: I don't want Ivan to get lost right right, He's
Speaker 1: not gonna get lost in the mix, at least on
Speaker 1: help I suck a dating. Ivan is always lay up
Speaker 1: there in our hearts. Anyways, I'm sorry I tried to
Speaker 1: add that little bit in Kenny, if you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: I don't know why, what what you're doing wasting your time, Kenny.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this, light into Dean's d m
Speaker 1: S because you'll make his life. Well, yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about signing into his, but just to
Speaker 1: be friends, you know, nothing more fully platonic. Maybe you
Speaker 1: go out and play some some naked volleyball together. I
Speaker 1: don't know, Klin might have some competition. Yeah, I'm a
Speaker 1: sucker for a guy with tattoos. That's really all it is. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get I'm gonna get out of here before
Speaker 1: we see anything else, So stick around through the break.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have Hannah Burner from um Summer House coming
Speaker 1: up next after that? What's going on? Everyone? Welcome back
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating. We are joined by
Speaker 1: the one, the only, the hilarious Hannah Burner from Summer House. Hannah,
Speaker 1: how are you thanks for having me? Guys, I'm ready
Speaker 1: to talk some serious about love. Great question. I know
Speaker 1: you're not returning to the next season of Summer House.
Speaker 1: Do you hate it when people say Hannah from Summer House? No, No,
Speaker 1: because I was from Summer House. It's also like when
Speaker 1: people recognize me those like Summer House, and it's like,
Speaker 1: it's a part of who I am, It's part of
Speaker 1: my journey. You want to know what's going to be
Speaker 1: great though in ten years, when your journey has evolved
Speaker 1: so greatly that people will forget entirely about the fact
Speaker 1: that you were on four years of Summer House. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny. The whole concept of people forgetting is scary,
Speaker 1: but there's also like a beautifulness about it, where like
Speaker 1: something bad happens during the season, people forget very quick,
Speaker 1: or like even when something good happens, people forget. Um,
Speaker 1: you have to remember that that everything is always changing.
Speaker 1: I think that's how you survive in this industry because
Speaker 1: it's crazy town. I guess I guess I might have
Speaker 1: spoke a little bit. What I meant was people remember
Speaker 1: you for greater things rather than your appearance on Summer
Speaker 1: House for a few seasons. Thanks sounding, I appreciate you. Yes,
Speaker 1: and Okay, So for the record, for the listeners out there,
Speaker 1: Hanna and I are not strangers. We met about a
Speaker 1: week ago in New York. We go way back. We
Speaker 1: go way back. Yes, that's right. We took a tennis
Speaker 1: lesson together. Um, and so the reason for that Caitlin
Speaker 1: obviously is a big tennis fan, and we were out
Speaker 1: there with Wilson. And Hannah is a collegiate athlete who
Speaker 1: played tennis in college, so she of course was out
Speaker 1: there with Wilson. But I gotta ask. So you left
Speaker 1: early because you had to fly too. I think it
Speaker 1: was Kansas City for a stand up comedy show. How
Speaker 1: did that go? It went great? Amazing barbecue. Um real
Speaker 1: quick though, Jared um Dean showed up to this Wilson
Speaker 1: event wearing flip flops? Is this something that? Is this
Speaker 1: the handle type of guy that if he lived in
Speaker 1: Buffalo in February, he'd be wearing flip flops outside because
Speaker 1: it's like feet don't get hold I'm like, get at it.
Speaker 1: It was like I thought this was a character they
Speaker 1: were putting together on you know, The Bachelor, But no,
Speaker 1: that's just real. He couldn't. He was ready to climb something.
Speaker 1: He was ready to like hike, Oh yeah, he was.
Speaker 1: He was ready to just stroll on the beach. That's
Speaker 1: what he was doing. Very topical. So Kaylen and I
Speaker 1: are staying in this hotel in Italy right now, and
Speaker 1: in the hotels are like a five star Michelin restaurant
Speaker 1: and we go up to check in for a reservation
Speaker 1: and I'm wearing flip flops and I Goes goes, you
Speaker 1: can't come in here with flip flops, and I was like,
Speaker 1: these are literally the only shoes that I have with me,
Speaker 1: Like I I have, I can come and barefoot. Would
Speaker 1: that be better for you? And they like pull the
Speaker 1: manager over and they're like, Okay, they let me come in, fortunately,
Speaker 1: but they were like very not happy about it. You're like,
Speaker 1: these are high quality, versatile flip flops. These are sixty
Speaker 1: dollar Tivas. Okay, but yeah, stand up has been kind
Speaker 1: of my like healing process through like being on reality TV.
Speaker 1: Reality TV is obviously great, but people see you, you know,
Speaker 1: through such a lens and behind the screen, and stand
Speaker 1: up is very like raw. I think that's why we
Speaker 1: love podcasts to reality TV people, because you get to
Speaker 1: just like be very outgoing and raw and let people
Speaker 1: see a lot of different sides to you. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: get to be the center of attention, which is what
Speaker 1: we all love. I mean, I just want to be
Speaker 1: heard as many different places. Story I don't want to
Speaker 1: tell yeah, so and stand up you just like it's
Speaker 1: all about like telling the truth and and calling people
Speaker 1: out on the truth and just saying the things people
Speaker 1: are afraid to say. So I've I've been really enjoying
Speaker 1: having that outlet. Well, Hannah, I can't help but notice
Speaker 1: you have an engagement ring on your hand, and I
Speaker 1: heard that you just got engaged. So first of all,
Speaker 1: congratulations became the podcast and you were like, I'm ready
Speaker 1: to talk some about love, So I hope you're happy.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I was twenty nine years old in
Speaker 1: this room when Quarantine first hit, living with my parents,
Speaker 1: very single. I was like face timing with this like
Speaker 1: former football guy who was partying in Miami every night.
Speaker 1: And then I was like still talking to the guy
Speaker 1: who I was on a reality TV show with which
Speaker 1: like I knew was not going to end well, but
Speaker 1: we were going to see what was gonna happen um.
Speaker 1: And then this guy d mned me. We went on
Speaker 1: a date and it all happened, and then six months
Speaker 1: I was engaged. So all my material, my end of
Speaker 1: material was about being single, and then I got engaged
Speaker 1: in six months, and then I have to be like
Speaker 1: I know about love when it's like you're like my
Speaker 1: career is over. My mom actually pulled me aside once.
Speaker 1: She was like, I know you're used to being like
Speaker 1: the single, outgoing wild whatever, but it's like you're not
Speaker 1: that person anymore. Like you're evolving and you can't keep
Speaker 1: making tweets about how guys are garbage? You know? Was
Speaker 1: that scary for you? Um, it's scary because I wasn't
Speaker 1: anticipating getting married. I never thought about marriage that month
Speaker 1: that much. I wasn'tforced to on the show be like,
Speaker 1: can you see yourself being living the rest of your
Speaker 1: life with this person? Like I was there, You're like,
Speaker 1: I don't know where I'm gonna wake up tomorrow. Okay,
Speaker 1: can focus on that first. I was very career obsessed. Also,
Speaker 1: like Bravo love single Hannah. I love flirting, and I
Speaker 1: loved kind of twist, like changing the narrative where like
Speaker 1: girls could you know, start a conversation and like you
Speaker 1: don't have to wait round for guys and you could
Speaker 1: hook up with a mail model if you want and
Speaker 1: do your thing. So this was kind of off brand
Speaker 1: for for me to get engaged. Um, it was terrible
Speaker 1: for my brand. It was super bad for my brand. Right, So,
Speaker 1: how how your jokes shifted on the on the stand
Speaker 1: up for it then, so I started making jokes about, well,
Speaker 1: the engagement process. You guys, you're not engaged or dean,
Speaker 1: are you. I'm very much committed to my girlfriend. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: this guy just loves living in a cloud of mystery.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean to put you on the spot. I
Speaker 1: just didn't want to get its happened every single week.
Speaker 1: He's like, we are in a beautiful connected soul and
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. Um, but being engaged. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's a kind of old school thing where like
Speaker 1: one day a guy is supposed to just get on
Speaker 1: his knee and ask you to spend the rest of
Speaker 1: your life with him, and they make it like it's
Speaker 1: a romantic, beautiful surprise, when like, I don't think engagements
Speaker 1: are actually in the real life like that you have
Speaker 1: to talk out. You have to be like, is this
Speaker 1: do I want to do this for the rest of
Speaker 1: my life? Guys don't know what ring you want? You
Speaker 1: have to figure out what ring you want. You have
Speaker 1: to hint them what ring you want. You Also, there's
Speaker 1: just so many things that aren't romantic about it. And
Speaker 1: then also joking about not knowing any this guy outside
Speaker 1: of global pandemic, Like that's when I met him. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, what if I go to a restaurant with
Speaker 1: him and people are singing Happy Birthday and he like
Speaker 1: joins in, Like this could be really bad. This could
Speaker 1: be detrimental to our relationship. Yeah, exactly, what if this
Speaker 1: is the kind of guy that claps on the airplane? Exactly?
Speaker 1: So I was worried about that, and then I joke
Speaker 1: about him. He's forty five. He's the oldest guy I've
Speaker 1: ever been with you. You see, just judging what we're
Speaker 1: seeing on TV, it seems like you like to ski
Speaker 1: a little older. Well, yeah, I guess I have, but
Speaker 1: I've never gone forty five. Like, I've never was one
Speaker 1: of those girls who was, you know, obsessed with his
Speaker 1: zaddi um. But then, but I've always liked boys, that's
Speaker 1: been consistent with me. But I found a retired boy.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's what you gotta go for. The boys excited. Well,
Speaker 1: that's the thing, like, because the F boys. The F
Speaker 1: boy in his twenties maybe early third, you know, early thirties,
Speaker 1: and then starts changing his ways in his late thirties,
Speaker 1: late thirties so you got him in his peak post
Speaker 1: f boy years. He just became exhausted and needed someone
Speaker 1: to save him. But I joke like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I met him when he was thirty that it
Speaker 1: would have worked out. But now it's like he's not
Speaker 1: chasing women on the streets anymore. He's on the verge
Speaker 1: of arthritis. So he just fell into my hands. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't want to be that guy. But if
Speaker 1: you met him when you were thirty, you would have
Speaker 1: been twelve years old, so it definitely wouldn't worked at
Speaker 1: very valid point. But I feel like if we were
Speaker 1: the same age, I mean, guys mature later. But there's
Speaker 1: two kinds of relationships. Like my parents met early and
Speaker 1: they really like grew up together. Where I've kind of
Speaker 1: found this like fully cooked man, where like the Xes
Speaker 1: did all the work for me and I just have
Speaker 1: to make a couple of edits, you know. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's I mean, that's in a in a wonderful way,
Speaker 1: that's a really cool way of looking at it. I
Speaker 1: feel agree. So I gotta ask what was it about
Speaker 1: him specifically that kind of made you so certain about it?
Speaker 1: I love that you guys are so into love. It's
Speaker 1: it's so adorable. Well, you know the title of the podcast,
Speaker 1: it's imperfect, it's imperfectly perfect, the journey of love. I
Speaker 1: feel like with him, he I really like respected his brain.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'll meet a lot of guys who
Speaker 1: my age, and it's not like they're stupid or anything,
Speaker 1: but I'll just be like, I don't think he's he's
Speaker 1: like trying to improve himself or like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if he's like actually reflected on in life, Like some
Speaker 1: guys have squirrel brains when they're younger. I do think
Speaker 1: guys emotionally mature later. I don't know, IM I just
Speaker 1: insulted you guys right now, I feel not at all.
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say. I thought you're gonna say.
Speaker 1: You know, when I meet guys my age, they're not stupid,
Speaker 1: but they're dumb as hell. It's not even intellectually, it's
Speaker 1: more like you can tell they don't want to settle down,
Speaker 1: they don't care to like connect in some ways, and
Speaker 1: that's fine. I was emotionally unavailable too for a while
Speaker 1: to protect myself, so then I'd find other emotionally unavailable
Speaker 1: people and would just be like motion unavailable, which is
Speaker 1: just like a form of protecting yourself and being scared.
Speaker 1: But I met this guy who kind of like I
Speaker 1: think he knew what he wanted, so like a couple
Speaker 1: of weeks in, he was like, yeah, I could see
Speaker 1: myself marrying you. And I like didn't know how to
Speaker 1: handle it because I'm so used to having to play
Speaker 1: it cool and the guy playing it cool, and then
Speaker 1: you have to play a little tricks on each other
Speaker 1: to show you're not that into it until someone gets
Speaker 1: the balls to be like I'm into it. So the
Speaker 1: fact this guy was like, yeah, I'm really into you,
Speaker 1: I was like, that's so hot, just for someone to
Speaker 1: know that they're into someone. And then I got vulnerable
Speaker 1: and I realized, oh my god, I've never been vulnerable,
Speaker 1: Like I'm always the sarcastic, like keeping guests in, like
Speaker 1: you don't really know what's going on with me. I
Speaker 1: grew up with my dad being like, don't like guys
Speaker 1: to stracked you. I just kind of like always had
Speaker 1: a But this guy was like, yeah, I want to
Speaker 1: be with you. And then when you were secure enough
Speaker 1: in yourself you don't push it away and you're like
Speaker 1: that's hot. That he sees something in me that he likes.
Speaker 1: And then with him, he was just very interesting, like
Speaker 1: he's traveled the world, he's he speaks a lot of languages.
Speaker 1: He's it's very very funny, with the same dark sense
Speaker 1: of humor. Um. When we first met, I actually within
Speaker 1: the first five minutes I kind of knew he was
Speaker 1: going to be a good one. Um, I can. I'll
Speaker 1: lead you into the story. I got into the fight
Speaker 1: with my dad. My dad wanted to go golfing and
Speaker 1: his tea time. This is like white people problems, but
Speaker 1: his tea time was literally right when we were about
Speaker 1: to I was about to be dropped off to my
Speaker 1: date with Deaz and I hadn't gone a date in
Speaker 1: like six months. And my dad's like, oh, dropping you
Speaker 1: off thirty minutes early because I have a tea time.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, Dad, I'm trying to find love and
Speaker 1: you and mom have each other and I've been alone
Speaker 1: for six months. He's or whatever. He drops me off,
Speaker 1: and it's like degrees. I'm sweating, shown of worngeanes and
Speaker 1: a piste to my dad And we hadn't thought that
Speaker 1: often in quarantine. But I was not happy, And does
Speaker 1: my fancy picks me up, and I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: so mad at my dad. Like I didn't even pretend
Speaker 1: to like have it together on the first day. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so mad at my Dad's so annoying.
Speaker 1: And he looks at me, he goes, at least your
Speaker 1: parents are alive. I mean, that's one way I'm looking
Speaker 1: at it. I just started dying laughing, and I realized
Speaker 1: in that moment, like that was a test, Like if
Speaker 1: I had been like that's not funny, like being over,
Speaker 1: but immediately we just started laughing over his like sick,
Speaker 1: dark humor, and I immediately felt comfortable. Um, So humor
Speaker 1: has a really great way of breaking the ice and
Speaker 1: seeing seeing kind of what level of sick humor you have. Yeah,
Speaker 1: humor really brings us together, I feel, yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: all about like relatability, Like do you think have you
Speaker 1: experienced this and do you have the same reaction? There's
Speaker 1: something visceral but making someone laugh or someone making you laugh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean on a date. Yeah, you're so controlled on
Speaker 1: a date trying to say the right things that if
Speaker 1: they could make you laugh, it's almost like an orgasm.
Speaker 1: It's a reaction, you know, something that you can't control,
Speaker 1: and Jared, it's like Jared's We've established it's like an
Speaker 1: orgasm perfectly. I gotta ask, Okay, so you said, now
Speaker 1: that you've clarified that engagements are a proposals are not romantic,
Speaker 1: we gotta ask what was the proposal like between you
Speaker 1: and death? Great question? So he how did you? How
Speaker 1: did you experience it? Well, he would joke that he
Speaker 1: wanted to marry me, so then I would joke and
Speaker 1: I started sending him rings and then he responded like
Speaker 1: got it on it, And I didn't know if he
Speaker 1: was joking or not. So our whole thing was like
Speaker 1: a bit to be honest, and then I got an
Speaker 1: interjector real quick, you're gonna have like five kids one day,
Speaker 1: and he's gonna be like, yeah, let's pump out number six.
Speaker 1: And you could be like, oh, the hilarious joke. This
Speaker 1: is the funniest ongoing prank of all time. Actually, every
Speaker 1: now done, I'm like, is this real? Is he for real?
Speaker 1: Where's the punchhine? No? But he Actually I was at
Speaker 1: my parents house and my dad was talking to him
Speaker 1: in the other room, and then he walked in the
Speaker 1: other room where I could hear him and he said
Speaker 1: to my mom, I said, no, ha ha ha ha ha,
Speaker 1: like joking, And I was like, he's being sarcastic. Has
Speaker 1: just asked him, like for the blessing or whatever they do.
Speaker 1: So I feel like girls know, Like I feel like,
Speaker 1: I mean, with your show, you guys scare the ship
Speaker 1: out of the girls. But I feel like in most
Speaker 1: normal situations, the girl can sense something's going on. I
Speaker 1: found things. Yeah. So also they don't talk about engagements,
Speaker 1: is like most of the time, you know, and if
Speaker 1: you don't know, that's so weird to have to consent
Speaker 1: to spending this your life with someone. It's almost kind
Speaker 1: of messed up. Right. And then also what I think
Speaker 1: is messed up if we're getting here, how like he's
Speaker 1: walking around. I have this this ring on the shiny
Speaker 1: thing he distracted me with, and he's walking around like
Speaker 1: he's single. And I was like I want to. I
Speaker 1: was like, I want to get you a ring and
Speaker 1: he's like, no, they'll look ugly. I'm like, exactly, I
Speaker 1: need people not be into you. I need to a
Speaker 1: ring on it. Make sure everybody knows that you are
Speaker 1: a man. It's very old school. I feel like, but anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it is kind of weird when you think about proposals.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, you're going to spend the rest of
Speaker 1: your life with me, and it's like, well, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna want in twenty years. What if
Speaker 1: I changed my mind? No, it's so weird. And I
Speaker 1: guess because he's older, he kind of knew what he wanted. Um.
Speaker 1: But when I was at summer house, I had just
Speaker 1: met him two weeks before and we were into each other,
Speaker 1: but like, I don't really know the guy, but I
Speaker 1: kept calling him at night and I was would cry.
Speaker 1: We have phone sex, we talked about life, like we
Speaker 1: would go on full journeys from like midnight to four am,
Speaker 1: and then I have to film the next day, very
Speaker 1: sleep deprived. Um, but you guys have seen your significant
Speaker 1: others in the trenches of reality TV pressure, and that's
Speaker 1: like how he met me. And I would argue, I'm
Speaker 1: not a big cry or I'm actually not. I do
Speaker 1: like drama, but I'm not normally the cause of it.
Speaker 1: Part of me was like maybe he saw me at
Speaker 1: this like crazy vulnerable state that he like made him
Speaker 1: fall for me because I a stand up joke. I
Speaker 1: called him every night being like I just fought with
Speaker 1: thirteen people and there's only seven on the cast, and
Speaker 1: he was like, that's wiping material. Like do you guys
Speaker 1: feel like you would have fallen for your significant others
Speaker 1: if you hadn't seen them like crying and being really
Speaker 1: raw or was it just like a more difficult journey
Speaker 1: to get there because you guys had to deal with
Speaker 1: serious drama to get there. I mean, hey, I appreciate
Speaker 1: you turning this around on the host and asking us questions.
Speaker 1: That's phenomenal. I think I think Jared can relate pretty
Speaker 1: heavily to that because you've seen Ashley through the highs
Speaker 1: and those, through a lot of things, and I think
Speaker 1: that not despite all that stuff, but like you found it,
Speaker 1: kind of found the beauty and all of it, and
Speaker 1: you came back to it and realize that's the person
Speaker 1: you live. I think for us, I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: Reality TV helped or heard us. It was just kind
Speaker 1: of there because honestly, you know, we started following in
Speaker 1: a lot with each other, more so off the show
Speaker 1: when like I remember the first time where I saw Ashley,
Speaker 1: you know, with her family and hanging out on her
Speaker 1: you know, environment and feeling comfortable and confident and watching
Speaker 1: football with her, and then that's when I could start
Speaker 1: really picturing her life with her. It wasn't so much
Speaker 1: on the show. So that's really interesting though. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know if it was like the show that was like, oh,
Speaker 1: because you guys went through this crazy thing together, that's
Speaker 1: why you fell in love with the one another. I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know. I think it was more
Speaker 1: of like the low key type of stuff. But you're right,
Speaker 1: like the show definitely makes you face your your not
Speaker 1: face your fears, but you know, yeah, face your demons
Speaker 1: more that you have to like discuss things that you
Speaker 1: usually wouldn't discuss than normal every day to long. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I joke how like the Bachelor often doesn't work because
Speaker 1: like you're put on a beautiful island with like a
Speaker 1: mandalin player and like it's so romantic, where like relationships
Speaker 1: are actually about the day to day sitting on the
Speaker 1: couch and like also are you good at fighting? Like
Speaker 1: can you put together an ikea couch together? And stuff
Speaker 1: and like very important things. Yes, the mundane. I think
Speaker 1: we're also seeing it specifically in Bachelor these times. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you watched the show, but I think
Speaker 1: there's a lot to be said that people want to
Speaker 1: be in a bachelor relationship, Like I think there are
Speaker 1: a lot of people who prioritize being a bachelor couple
Speaker 1: rather than just a couple. I think that extends further on.
Speaker 1: That just kind of goes along with being in a
Speaker 1: television relationship because there's like a monetary game behind it.
Speaker 1: I'm only focusing on the batchelork Is obviously we're from
Speaker 1: the franchise, and but you're absolutely right, that's all over TV. No,
Speaker 1: I know. It makes me nauseous because like, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never been in a public relationship. It is like my
Speaker 1: second public relationship. And to have people like betting on
Speaker 1: how long it's gonna last, and to have people like
Speaker 1: straight up judging like who you should be with, Like
Speaker 1: that's it's crazy. And like when I people are mean
Speaker 1: to me online, but when someone's mean to Deaz, I
Speaker 1: get so upset and then I feel like it's my
Speaker 1: fault because I brought him on the show. Like these
Speaker 1: are the stuff that you guys have to deal with
Speaker 1: as reality TV couples. Like people don't understand. I think
Speaker 1: it's hard. I mean, I I agree, but I want
Speaker 1: to come back to something that we talked about when
Speaker 1: we met in New York was you were saying how
Speaker 1: I don't want I don't want overstand my boundaries. But
Speaker 1: you're saying how you're in you know, post reality TV therapy,
Speaker 1: which I think is a good thing, and I think
Speaker 1: we should always advocate for therapy. I think it doesn't
Speaker 1: it's not just the TV couples, it's every TV individual
Speaker 1: because you're put under a certain amount of scrutiny and
Speaker 1: you have to deal with a lot of things that
Speaker 1: you never had to deal with before. So you're saying
Speaker 1: a lot about couples, but I think suppertains to the
Speaker 1: individual as well. Um, and I just want to touch
Speaker 1: on one thing real quick. You were talking about, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, everyone kind of being in the stressful environment
Speaker 1: and being on reality TV and like how could anyone
Speaker 1: love you in that environment? And it's funny because Kalin,
Speaker 1: for instance, Um, she you know, she has been on
Speaker 1: reality t V a couple of times and she was
Speaker 1: very She's very easy to stress out. She's very stress
Speaker 1: double if you will, and she she gets crunched under
Speaker 1: that stress, very very easily, and we constantly talk about
Speaker 1: how much of a dream it would be for both
Speaker 1: of us to go on amazing race together, And in
Speaker 1: the back of my head every single time she says it,
Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, you know how stressed out you get
Speaker 1: about the lesti mundane, insignificant things. I am like terrified
Speaker 1: to go on another TV show with you wh we're
Speaker 1: racing around the world. So I see your point where
Speaker 1: it's like you can find like, how can you expect
Speaker 1: anyone to love you at your best when they can't
Speaker 1: even love you at your worst kind of thing? But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I fully understan where you're coming from,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it's you've seen people at such highs and lows,
Speaker 1: so it's almost like yeah, Like I mean, Ashley is
Speaker 1: like the best to me, and that like she was
Speaker 1: always so raw and so herself because to me, the
Speaker 1: scariest thing is someone's not being authentic with you, and
Speaker 1: like you knew you'd never you'd never have to worry
Speaker 1: about that with her. Ashley is the definition of what
Speaker 1: you see is what you get. It is insane because people,
Speaker 1: you know, ask me all the time what's actually really
Speaker 1: like It's like you know if you've seen the show
Speaker 1: or follow her on Instagram, you know exactly what she's like.
Speaker 1: And it's funny. As someone who, like I'm not known
Speaker 1: to cry a lot. I actually try not to cry.
Speaker 1: I did Reality t V and I'm actually a highly
Speaker 1: sensitive person. If you're not crying during Reality TV, you're crazy.
Speaker 1: You're a psycho. Like she was just being fully human
Speaker 1: and stuff. So anyway, shout out to I guess I
Speaker 1: agree with that. I I cried. Yeah, you've cried on TV.
Speaker 1: You cried on TV. I don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: me crying. I gotta ask. Okay, So, Hannah, you said
Speaker 1: that you guys when you and does on your first
Speaker 1: date right like your you love to emphasize the dark humor.
Speaker 1: Has ever been a point where you guys have like
Speaker 1: drawn a line or is everything fair game for you guys?
Speaker 1: Very valid question. I feel like some of our fights
Speaker 1: in the beginning was because he would like poke at
Speaker 1: something as a joke but like kind of being serious,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, you know that, here's my feelings
Speaker 1: and He'll be like, I'm joking. It's comedy and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I know what comedy is. So we'd
Speaker 1: like have that back and forth and then I'd say
Speaker 1: something like that I know pushes buttons, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm joking, So that's annoying. We do that to each other.
Speaker 1: So so let's wait, let's expand upon that, because exactly
Speaker 1: what you just said is exactly how Kylin and I
Speaker 1: treat each other all the time as well. So have
Speaker 1: you have you worked past it? Is there a workaround?
Speaker 1: Is there a solution? Like, what's your solution all this? Well?
Speaker 1: I love being with somebody who bust my balls, Like
Speaker 1: I love to poke fun and if you can't like
Speaker 1: poke fun back, I get bored. But it's like I
Speaker 1: finally met my match where he like, well make me upset.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I think it's like like being corny for a
Speaker 1: second and being like like he'll he'll joke about like
Speaker 1: my last season em real I TV and be like
Speaker 1: maybe if you didn't do this, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: haven't it's recovered from that yet, Like I'm still working
Speaker 1: on that. You have to. I think you just overcommunicate
Speaker 1: and you're not like being lame by being like that's
Speaker 1: not funny, but you also have to fight about it,
Speaker 1: Like he'll joke because I always joke about like my
Speaker 1: tennis career, and he'll make a joke about my test
Speaker 1: career and I'll be like, I could joke about it,
Speaker 1: you can't not that hurt um. So I think a
Speaker 1: lot of relationships. I've been reading a lot about the
Speaker 1: stages of relationships where like at first it's the honeymoon
Speaker 1: that sor everyone knows about, but no one talks about
Speaker 1: like the boundary seeking moments. So like Dean, it's like
Speaker 1: a lot of boundary pushing where you guys are just
Speaker 1: kind of pushing boundaries to find like where you exist.
Speaker 1: And I think just being vulnerable every now and then
Speaker 1: and being like like you know that they weren't trying
Speaker 1: to hurt you. You know, they just went a little
Speaker 1: too far. So just being like I've been finding these
Speaker 1: boundaries out. I remember Ashley, it's just earlier this year,
Speaker 1: before she was pregnant, and it was like, I'm self
Speaker 1: conscious about getting pale during the winter because I know
Speaker 1: it sounds so stupid, but it's just an insecurity mind
Speaker 1: because I feel like I look like a different human
Speaker 1: being when I'm pale, and I feel I feel much
Speaker 1: more confident when I have color, So Anyway, I walked
Speaker 1: into the living room one day and Ashley was like, wow,
Speaker 1: you look really pale today. And I was like, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: you look really pimp ley today. And she started crying
Speaker 1: and I was like, my god. I was like, She's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a insecurity of mine. I know I
Speaker 1: have that skin. I was like, I'm sorry. I was
Speaker 1: just you know, I'm secure about being pale. I don't
Speaker 1: not like her pimples. But in the moment, oh, it
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, Jared. She started it so like,
Speaker 1: good on you man, that was my point exactly. But
Speaker 1: she said it was more hurtful. And then she called
Speaker 1: her mom and asked her mom what was more hurtful?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, Jesus, Ashley, please, for the love of God,
Speaker 1: put the phone down, keep this between us. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I love that after a fight or whatever, calling the
Speaker 1: mom and being like, who is actually in the wrong. Oh,
Speaker 1: we don't have a fight just between her and I.
Speaker 1: It like involves the entire family. She's got to call
Speaker 1: her sister, she calls her mom, she's and then like
Speaker 1: she'll start saying it on the phone and like I'm
Speaker 1: giving her a look as if like Hey, this is
Speaker 1: our stuff. Don't And she's just like what they don't care?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I care, I care, Okay, I can't.
Speaker 1: They don't know, like the depth of what actually happens
Speaker 1: behind close nobody knows context. Yeah, And I don't want
Speaker 1: to throw you guys into the fire again, but I
Speaker 1: would love to watch, like after the Bachelor show of
Speaker 1: like Dean and Kaylin running around the mountains and then
Speaker 1: like you guys like fighting while she's like eating ice
Speaker 1: cream pregnant. Like that's what I want to watch, Dared.
Speaker 1: You guys should make a show like that. We should
Speaker 1: call it what now? Uh? An inside joke, Jared did
Speaker 1: actually make a show about that. It was years ago.
Speaker 1: It was a digital show. But we're still waiting for
Speaker 1: the second season to be green Land. Well, there there
Speaker 1: were some issues with it, which I don't think legally
Speaker 1: we can talk about, but I digress. Can I can?
Speaker 1: I ask you guys a question too that I feel
Speaker 1: like only you'd understand. Vast Nation is very like there's
Speaker 1: couples of the moment. Is it weird to like be
Speaker 1: in a couple and be like hot and everyone's talking
Speaker 1: about it and then like you're not as relevant and
Speaker 1: then like something happens again in your hot again, Like
Speaker 1: isn't that weird as a couple to deal with the
Speaker 1: like ups and downs of you being an item for
Speaker 1: people to like get excited or not excited about all
Speaker 1: this one first. So I remember when I was going
Speaker 1: to therapy, my therapist specifically said that I have a
Speaker 1: I have an issue with being comfortable, and I anytime
Speaker 1: anything like become you know, like expected or like plateaued,
Speaker 1: I find a way to like pull myself down, like
Speaker 1: find a way to like die bomb everything just so
Speaker 1: I can regain back to just where I was initially.
Speaker 1: So I feel like that's kind of how I'm I
Speaker 1: am in relationships to where like everything's going great and
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, this is just boring. Let's go ahead
Speaker 1: and this up really bad and see if we can
Speaker 1: just dig ourselves out of the hole and see what
Speaker 1: I'm comfortable with. Chaos. Uh what, it's not so much
Speaker 1: the chaos, I think, what what it is? And my
Speaker 1: my therapist put this pretty well, and she said it
Speaker 1: was a huge issue and I'm still working through it.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, I'm not proud of this. Um.
Speaker 1: She said that I've got a real I've got like
Speaker 1: an addiction to proving to myself that I can do
Speaker 1: certain things. You know. So it's like I used to
Speaker 1: like make myself go broke all the time just to
Speaker 1: like put pull myself out of that financial hole like
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. I mean, that's one way to
Speaker 1: go through life. It's still it's it's frustrating because it's
Speaker 1: like so just ingrained in me. Um, I will say
Speaker 1: the there's been like a semi cure to that, like
Speaker 1: a band aid. I guess you could say, is that
Speaker 1: band aid called Kalin know this band that bands called
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating? Because every week Jared
Speaker 1: asks me questions that I give answers to that are
Speaker 1: very dumb, and they take a very small bit of
Speaker 1: context and they put a headline up and then it's
Speaker 1: all of a sudden become you know, us weekly. Not
Speaker 1: that those are big headlines or anything like that, but hey,
Speaker 1: gets us more listeners. You're right exactly. So to to
Speaker 1: your question, Um, having a podcast about dating while you're
Speaker 1: dating someone kind of helps keep that I don't want
Speaker 1: to see interest out there, but it allows me to
Speaker 1: put my foot in my mouth enough times to where, Uh,
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen quite as frequently, I guess if you will.
Speaker 1: But it's funny because sometimes when you're doing your best
Speaker 1: is when you're the most boring to the public. A thousand.
Speaker 1: It's just so weird because it's like, only you guys
Speaker 1: will understand this. Oh, do you know to many conversations
Speaker 1: Ashley and I have had where it's like we have
Speaker 1: nothing to post. This is we've got nothing. We are
Speaker 1: so boring, dude, I so okay. So reverse like ten
Speaker 1: maybe like twelve years I was in college and I
Speaker 1: was dating this girl and I like, I can't remember
Speaker 1: what it was. I think I called her boring or something,
Speaker 1: and she was, she said in response, she goes, Literally,
Speaker 1: the worst insult you could ever tell me is that
Speaker 1: I'm boring. And I've that's stuck with me so much.
Speaker 1: I would weigh rather I would be anything else in
Speaker 1: the entire world. I don't want to be boring, So like,
Speaker 1: as long as I can avoid being boring, I'm totally
Speaker 1: okay with it. But I also think people don't talk
Speaker 1: enough about how like the dopamine does change like it
Speaker 1: always does, and I'm a big romantic and like I love,
Speaker 1: having butterflies and stuff, but like you have to accept
Speaker 1: at some point that like long term relationships when you're
Speaker 1: married are not full of those highs and they're full
Speaker 1: of like more like the calmness. And I recently watched
Speaker 1: the TikTok about this, um so it's legit research on
Speaker 1: this topic. Yeah, getting the A D H D TikTok's.
Speaker 1: But someone was basically like, your brain gets more stimulated
Speaker 1: with negativity rather than positivity, which was like fascinated to me.
Speaker 1: So you're just like you when things are too calm
Speaker 1: and positive, you like, we'll make up to be more stimulated,
Speaker 1: which is dean kind of what you're saying. I think
Speaker 1: we see that in society now. It's just not like
Speaker 1: a human thing. I think we're always comming something. The
Speaker 1: news is like, yeah, King got saved, but look at
Speaker 1: all these burning bushes. Uh. And you know, the best
Speaker 1: piece of advice I ever got with dealing with love,
Speaker 1: or one of the best piece of advice was somebody said,
Speaker 1: don't forget the person that you marry is going to
Speaker 1: be the person that you have a conversation with every
Speaker 1: day for the rest of your life. And don't forget
Speaker 1: about that. So that was always that always stuck with
Speaker 1: back in my mind. But Hannah, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. I gotta I just gotta say one
Speaker 1: more thing. I gotta I gotta commend Hannah real quick
Speaker 1: because and then and then I'll take us to the break.
Speaker 1: Don't you wearry chaired? I just gotta say us to
Speaker 1: Hannah for watching a TikTok learning something and saying you
Speaker 1: learned it from a TikTok, Because if it was me,
Speaker 1: I would have a thousand percent said I read a
Speaker 1: journal on Wall Street or an article on Walltter journal
Speaker 1: about this. I read an article in Science today. You
Speaker 1: said exactly what it is. I never would have said TikTok.
Speaker 1: I would have been like, I read this in the
Speaker 1: New York Times or something. It's because it's wrong. I
Speaker 1: could just blame TikTok. But can I ask you one
Speaker 1: more question? Yeah, So I met this guy I filmed
Speaker 1: a reality TV show, and he knows me four or
Speaker 1: five months for who I am. And then the reality
Speaker 1: TV show airs, and it's like showing sides of me
Speaker 1: that are like very cut up and weird and trying
Speaker 1: to portray a stir narrative. How did you deal with
Speaker 1: your relationships when you have a rough season or like
Speaker 1: a rough um portrayal on tv M. What do you think?
Speaker 1: Just constant communication even when Ashley and I weren't together
Speaker 1: and we're going through the situation we went through on
Speaker 1: our second season of Paradise together. Uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: remember just a lot of times talking things out and
Speaker 1: just being on the phone, and you know, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of emotions and crying and why you know, what's
Speaker 1: this or what's that? But I mean, at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, I think as long as you're level
Speaker 1: headed and realized that it is a reality TV show
Speaker 1: and like things will be taking out of context, and
Speaker 1: you know, not everything is as it seems. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's very real and raw, but of course, like there
Speaker 1: are moments or elements that are of course taken out
Speaker 1: of context. I mean that's the show. The things film
Speaker 1: three days and narrowed down to an hour and twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: So I think having that understanding really helped as well. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think similar boat. I remember when Bachelor's seasons Paradise
Speaker 1: with season six was airing, and there was not like inconsistencies,
Speaker 1: but like unanswered questions and to Jared's point, all of
Speaker 1: it is just like having the gusto to go up
Speaker 1: to your partner and be like, why is this the
Speaker 1: way that it appears? And then I can explain themselves like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I I accept that why is this happening now? And
Speaker 1: as long as like everything kind of aligns in your eyes.
Speaker 1: And there were moments too, especially like at the beginning
Speaker 1: of mine and Kent's relationship, where we were rocky to
Speaker 1: an extent um. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's like we were always honest with each other. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't here so I can say it went one up.
Speaker 1: How did you deal with it? I mean I just
Speaker 1: had He was more just helping me with the comments
Speaker 1: and stuff, and he'd just be like, don't listen to
Speaker 1: the comments because like he knew what happened every day
Speaker 1: I told him in real time. Then why did he
Speaker 1: cut the video that way? What do you mean, Well,
Speaker 1: you're saying, oh you're oh, you're saying is I thought
Speaker 1: you're talking about the guy that you made the video with.
Speaker 1: Oh no, no. Dez was basically like, I just don't
Speaker 1: listen to the comments when the show was coming out,
Speaker 1: But like I was losing some self esteem when things
Speaker 1: were like going bad, and I had to be like, no,
Speaker 1: that's like Hana on TV versus like the hand of here.
Speaker 1: I have to believe in myself and believe I'm like
Speaker 1: worthy of love, even if a TV show is like
Speaker 1: going against that. Right now, there's definitely there's definitely two
Speaker 1: different people. It's the person on TV in the person
Speaker 1: in reality. Uh, And it's hard to kind of the beauty,
Speaker 1: at least for Jared and I is that our partners
Speaker 1: were also from the same arena more or less as
Speaker 1: I know, at least was on TV for a little bit,
Speaker 1: but uh, not to the same extent that you were.
Speaker 1: So I think it's a there's at least a little
Speaker 1: bit of a mismatch. But yet I think it just
Speaker 1: comes down to communication. But I will say, we've gone
Speaker 1: a way over a time. Hannah, you're not coming back
Speaker 1: for Summer House season? Is it Winter House? Now? Who cares?
Speaker 1: You're not on It doesn't matter? Tell us, tell us
Speaker 1: what you got going on next? Um, yes, see me,
Speaker 1: do stand up. I'm all over the place at hannahburn
Speaker 1: dot com. I'm going to be in l A soon.
Speaker 1: I'll hurt you guys up, if you're around, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be in Buffalo, New Jersey, Florida. Who knows so
Speaker 1: Handaburn dot com and listen to my podcast Burning in
Speaker 1: Hell and Giggly Squad and follow me at Being Burns Nice.
Speaker 1: Love it. Well, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Don't watch Summer House, but do all those things that
Speaker 1: an I just said to do. I know I'm going
Speaker 1: to be doing that. Support reality TV. That's right, and
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate it. Uh.
Speaker 1: We can't wait to see more from you. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much, guys. Sorry for going over time, little chatterboxes. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: hey everybody. Scott Patterson, we are going to have Milo
Speaker 1: vent Amelia on the podcast today and we are dropping
Speaker 1: the episode immediately. We are very excited to have him.
Speaker 1: He's a he's an old, dear friend, and he gave us.
Speaker 1: He gave us some time, which is he doesn't have
Speaker 1: any time, but he gave us some time, and we really,
Speaker 1: really really appreciate it. So we're gonna do this interview
Speaker 1: with Milo, uh and we're gonna drop it immediately as
Speaker 1: soon as we can get it all cobbled together. This
Speaker 1: crack team I have and we're just very, very excited
Speaker 1: about it. So anyway, listen to my podcast I Am
Speaker 1: all in right now on I Heart Radio, app, Apple
Speaker 1: Podcast and everywhere you listen to podcasts. Welcome back everyone
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating and Jared Man What
Speaker 1: an interview with Hannah Burner. She is something else's very funny.
Speaker 1: She's a character. She is a character, but beyond that,
Speaker 1: she's a human being that she is just like you
Speaker 1: and I can get it. We're gonna get into some
Speaker 1: listener emails. I kind of wish Hannah was here to
Speaker 1: answer these emails with that. Do you mind if I
Speaker 1: read it? I'm I'm in the mood. I feel like
Speaker 1: I have my reading voice on. Can we call Hannah
Speaker 1: back and get here to help us answer some of
Speaker 1: these emails? Well answer, yeah, totally. I mean she's nowhere
Speaker 1: to be fine. We have Riley. If Riley wants to,
Speaker 1: you know, chime in and help us answer these emails
Speaker 1: because we always need a female perspective. She is Riley
Speaker 1: is going to help us out with these emails. I've
Speaker 1: got one request. What We've got two emails. Let's take
Speaker 1: the time to answer one and then let's call Hannah
Speaker 1: back and hey, pipe dream what are we thought our
Speaker 1: pipe dreams? Let's call her and then have her help
Speaker 1: us answer the second one. What do you say? Is
Speaker 1: that crazy? Am I crazy? I think you're crazy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody get hand on the line. See if we can
Speaker 1: get her a call in no, no, no, no no will
Speaker 1: answer williamswer me and you and Riley will capably handle
Speaker 1: this first one. Yeah, that's what I mean. And then
Speaker 1: get her on the line for the second one, and
Speaker 1: then okay, and then again and then this, man, how
Speaker 1: can you do this? How can how can we structure this?
Speaker 1: You're right, You're right. It's probably not going to be
Speaker 1: able to happen. But it's just I read read the
Speaker 1: email reading. Here's the first email, of course, from anonymous.
Speaker 1: I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now.
Speaker 1: When we started dating, he was really motivated to work
Speaker 1: out and was losing a lot of weight. Fast forward
Speaker 1: to now a year later, and he's putting some of
Speaker 1: the weight on, and from what I can tell, maybe
Speaker 1: from stress eating. I'm a very healthy person who has
Speaker 1: kept a good workout regiment and a good diet all
Speaker 1: my adult life and would like a partner who does
Speaker 1: the same, which it looked like he was doing when
Speaker 1: we first met. The problem is now we're year into this.
Speaker 1: I love him and this is really the only problem,
Speaker 1: but it is bothering me. I don't want it to
Speaker 1: be our whole future thoughts. What should I do? Yeah,
Speaker 1: my thought is I'm looking over to see Kalen and
Speaker 1: I'm asking why did she email our podcast anonymous? Dude,
Speaker 1: if you're out of shape, then we got bigger issues.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, no, I said, every single week, every
Speaker 1: chance I can get, I am getting out of shape horribly.
Speaker 1: Caitlin gets hotter by the day. I get a little fatter,
Speaker 1: a little stough. Yer. Um, I think. I think what
Speaker 1: it is is there's something about COVID and quarantine and
Speaker 1: just everything that's been happening in the world over the
Speaker 1: past year or two that's like demotivated a lot of people.
Speaker 1: And I know because I'm one of those people that's
Speaker 1: been demotivated. Like I used to work out six times
Speaker 1: a week. I used to eat super healthy. I would
Speaker 1: drink once a week, maybe twice a week. Now I haven't.
Speaker 1: I haven't touched, I haven't been to a weight room.
Speaker 1: Him a Jim, I haven't gone on a run in years,
Speaker 1: and I drink five times a week. So my i'm
Speaker 1: my diet and lifestyle is getting worse, and my workout
Speaker 1: regiment is become non existent. Um. And so I want
Speaker 1: you to give this guy the been of the fit
Speaker 1: of the doubt, because I hope Kalin is also giving
Speaker 1: me the benefit of the doubt. If you will. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But my question is, so is Calin Like what if
Speaker 1: Calin came up to you and said, hey, we should
Speaker 1: run together, we should work out together. Would you be
Speaker 1: offended by that or would you say, okay, no, I
Speaker 1: can do that. Well, I know she would never ever
Speaker 1: say that. Kalen has a has had eight pack abs
Speaker 1: and she loses ten pounds over the course of a
Speaker 1: month simply by willing it into existence, lies and age things.
Speaker 1: She's only twenty five, you have very lucky. Um, She's
Speaker 1: also has she's twenty six. She hates that I always
Speaker 1: think she's twenty five. She's gotta She's got a far
Speaker 1: better diet than I don't I do. She doesn't eat meat,
Speaker 1: she is very conscious of what she puts in her body.
Speaker 1: And also she only meets half of her meals and
Speaker 1: whenever she does that, I eat the other half. Tell
Speaker 1: her wait till she's thirty two. As Adam Sandler said,
Speaker 1: I I have jello and my ask jiggles for a week. Um.
Speaker 1: So you know, I think for this, uh, listen, you
Speaker 1: can address it by not addressing it. I think if
Speaker 1: you guys do workout plans together, if you go on
Speaker 1: runs together, you already have a very active lifestyle. Why
Speaker 1: not just invite him? Dean shaking his head, but like,
Speaker 1: what are you supposed to do? What if you know
Speaker 1: this is very important to her, She wants a partner
Speaker 1: who's very much into a healthy lifestyle like she is.
Speaker 1: Invite him to a run, Invite him to if you
Speaker 1: live in l A Laurel Canyon, you guys can hike together.
Speaker 1: It will be a grand old day. Then you can
Speaker 1: have a nice dinner in the park. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: as long as it's not like overboard, like as long
Speaker 1: as he's not becoming like more really obese, I would say,
Speaker 1: just kind of like like you're saying, take him on
Speaker 1: hikes every once in a while. I like, sometimes I
Speaker 1: wish Kalin would more be more like, let's go climb
Speaker 1: this mountain, Let's go climb that rock. But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, it's like, I love her for
Speaker 1: the person that she is, and so I think that
Speaker 1: maybe this anonymous person needs to be like more accepting
Speaker 1: of her boyfriend for being a little chunky. Alright, Riley,
Speaker 1: do you have any thoughts. I think she's being a
Speaker 1: little harsh. I know it's been an amount of time,
Speaker 1: but I agree. I think she should give him some
Speaker 1: slack with everything that's been going on. And I think
Speaker 1: she's like taking to extreme that she thinks this is
Speaker 1: going to be forever, Like maybe just look at it
Speaker 1: as like a season instead of his forever lifestyle. And
Speaker 1: quarantine has not helped. Dude. It's so funny too, because
Speaker 1: I'm sure we can all attest to the same thing
Speaker 1: where it's like at the beginning of quarantine February or
Speaker 1: what would be like April twenty twenty, everyone's like, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, I'm going to use these three months to
Speaker 1: get in the best shape of my life. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: work out every morning, I'm gonna eat healthy. All of
Speaker 1: a sudden, four months later, you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I've gained twenty pounds. What am I doing? So I
Speaker 1: agree with Riley. It's a season, it's a phase. It's
Speaker 1: going to pass. If he had that mindset when you
Speaker 1: guys first met, he'll find that mindset again, hopefully if
Speaker 1: he wants to enough. I know, again personally, drawing from
Speaker 1: my own experiences, I know that I need to get
Speaker 1: back in the gym, and I am ready to get
Speaker 1: back in the gym. And it's just a matter of time, right,
Speaker 1: So it's like, hopefully in this case, this guy is
Speaker 1: just a matter of time to get back in the
Speaker 1: gym and getting restoring his body back to how it
Speaker 1: used to be. All right. Our second email, of course,
Speaker 1: comes from you guessed it Anonymous? Yes, good job. Before
Speaker 1: we answer this email, I want to call Hannah back.
Speaker 1: And we're gonna answer this email with Hannah. Okay, I mean,
Speaker 1: are you gonna call her? I'm gonna call her right now?
Speaker 1: Do you even have service? Where the hell are you?
Speaker 1: I am going to call her? Everyone stand by, we're standing.
Speaker 1: Can you gotta put on speaker and put it right
Speaker 1: next to the mic. We want to be able to
Speaker 1: hear this conversation. There. It is, there, it is. I
Speaker 1: can hear it ring. And now hello, hey Hannah, Sorry, Um,
Speaker 1: we know you let you go. We gotta bring you
Speaker 1: back for this last email. It's got your name written
Speaker 1: all over it and we couldn't answer it with act.
Speaker 1: You said, do you mind? Oh, hell yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 1: Dean's had seventy two glasses of wine and he refused
Speaker 1: to do another email without you. So I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you're back. It's anything better to do today? This do
Speaker 1: it perfectly well. This one is from Anonymous. So we
Speaker 1: have this joke going on Hannah that Anonymous is actually
Speaker 1: Nick Vial and then he just he just emails us
Speaker 1: constantly all the time. I saw Nick on TikTok recently,
Speaker 1: he's all over TikTok. He does a great job. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what do we think it is TikTok's? Can we before
Speaker 1: we get into Anonymous, is TikTok? What do we thinking that?
Speaker 1: I'm really happy that Nick found someone because he was
Speaker 1: confusing my ask when he was like basically explaining love
Speaker 1: to everyone, and I'm like, but Nick, you haven't found it,
Speaker 1: so what's going on? But then he found it? So
Speaker 1: now I'm like, he's the love girl and she's awesome,
Speaker 1: and seeing I like seeing the way he is now
Speaker 1: so with Nick, and Dean can attest this. There are
Speaker 1: times where Nick is like peak Nick, and so he's
Speaker 1: great to be around, you know, because like Nick sometimes
Speaker 1: isn't the best to be around, because like he knows it.
Speaker 1: He can be like detached and like not self aware
Speaker 1: and be on his phone constantly, and and but there
Speaker 1: are moments where Nick is just amazing and you're like,
Speaker 1: that's the guy. That's the guy I love, and that's
Speaker 1: the guy I'm friends with. He is that guy all
Speaker 1: the time now, because well I actually I've met Nick
Speaker 1: a couple of times, and one thing I really love
Speaker 1: about him is he tells it like it is, and
Speaker 1: I respect that a lot in a person. He tells
Speaker 1: it how it is, and he always has his shirt
Speaker 1: off about it. He's self aware. And the beard is
Speaker 1: the beard was such a game changer for that guy. Man,
Speaker 1: I wish I could grow a beard like him, said,
Speaker 1: I got do you want Do you want to read
Speaker 1: this email? Do you want me to read it? How
Speaker 1: do you want to do that? I got it ready?
Speaker 1: All right? So this is from anonymous. Hi, I'm in
Speaker 1: a tricky situation. I've been single for most of my
Speaker 1: life then started dating more when I was twenty nine,
Speaker 1: then met my current boyfriend that year. We met on
Speaker 1: Hinge and have been together for a year this month.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to last more
Speaker 1: than just a few months. He was super keen after
Speaker 1: the second date, but he's so different from who I
Speaker 1: would normally be interested in, so it took me a
Speaker 1: little bit longer to get there. We've been talking about marriage. Uh,
Speaker 1: We've been talking about marriage since fairly early on in
Speaker 1: our relationship, and he pretty much said he's ready to
Speaker 1: propose when I say I'm ready. He's thirty three and
Speaker 1: I'm thirty. Now. I'm just not sure if this is it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel how I thought it would, and I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if that's just because society chick flips chick
Speaker 1: flicks set you up with unrealistic expectations, or because I'm
Speaker 1: very careful with big decisions. I'm not sure if I
Speaker 1: should be waiting until I feel quote in love or
Speaker 1: how to know if it's right. Yeah, So I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go I'm gonna go ahead. I'm gonna see this
Speaker 1: off real quick. I know it's a little different because Hannah,
Speaker 1: you were head over heels with Daz right away from eating.
Speaker 1: But a lot of the other things line up pretty
Speaker 1: well with your situation. So I just want to see
Speaker 1: that up for you, and I would love for you
Speaker 1: to just kind of no. I totally get it where
Speaker 1: I've dated a lot and then met someone who is serious.
Speaker 1: Getting married is a serious thing, and I think I
Speaker 1: got excited with all like the butterflies, and I was
Speaker 1: deeply in love with this guy. I think with her,
Speaker 1: fucking wait, there's no rush, and like, keep experiencing him,
Speaker 1: keep learning about him, and I say, make an educated decision,
Speaker 1: and if I just believe in your gut, And she
Speaker 1: sounds a little scared, and I don't think you should
Speaker 1: force yourself until like but also people do joke like
Speaker 1: or they say you're gonna know, you're gonna know, No
Speaker 1: one ever knows. It's always a little bit of a risk.
Speaker 1: So I think that she gives herself more time. What
Speaker 1: do you guys think, I gotta say it to. One
Speaker 1: of the biggest detriments to relationships in society in general
Speaker 1: is that mindset where it's like when you know you know,
Speaker 1: or know like this person said, anonymous said, like there's
Speaker 1: like a romance idea of how your relationship should be,
Speaker 1: and a hundred times it's not going to be that way,
Speaker 1: and people like expect it to be that way, and
Speaker 1: when it's not, they get scared run away. So it's like,
Speaker 1: it's just not. It's just not. It's not going to
Speaker 1: be that way. And at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: it's like, if you like this person enough to spend
Speaker 1: every day with them and know that you're gonna spend
Speaker 1: every day with them, like Jared said earlier, it's like
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a conversation with this person for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life. Like if you can see that happening,
Speaker 1: that should be enough more or less to at least
Speaker 1: give it a fair chance. Um, so I fully agree
Speaker 1: it take your time. Marriage is a big decision and
Speaker 1: in in you know, in an ideal world, we're all
Speaker 1: gonna get married once and that's the end of it.
Speaker 1: Uh Fortunately, unfortunately we don't live in that ideal world.
Speaker 1: But do your best to make sure that that decision
Speaker 1: is the best decision for you. And like you said,
Speaker 1: no rush, just have fun with it and understand that
Speaker 1: just because you don't have like these intense butterflies love
Speaker 1: at first sight feeling doesn't mean that this isn't your
Speaker 1: forever person. Yeah, I totally agree. I mean it's if
Speaker 1: you really want to know. I feel like you should
Speaker 1: break up with a person if you can't stop thinking
Speaker 1: about them, then you know that you don't want to
Speaker 1: go on in life without them. But that's also a
Speaker 1: big risk. Where you're saying break up, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: you should. I'm saying it's an option on the table.
Speaker 1: And see if you feel like you lost the love
Speaker 1: of your life. I mean, isn't it who whose song
Speaker 1: is that where it's like the only way to know
Speaker 1: is to let it go. I think that's like Sarah
Speaker 1: Burry ellis. So maybe you shouldn't say no. I gotta
Speaker 1: say anonymous, JAREDY, I appreciate what you're doing. You're playing
Speaker 1: Devil's advocate, but that's the dumbest advice you ever given. Man.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, what happens if they break up and
Speaker 1: now she knows he goes murder him, murder him, see
Speaker 1: if see if you feel anything, When you feel pain,
Speaker 1: then you know you made a mistake. Jared, that is
Speaker 1: super toxic. Don't break up with a guy just to
Speaker 1: see if you're not, if you can't live like without him,
Speaker 1: that's such bad advice. He's like, lock him in the basement,
Speaker 1: don't if you feel bad, just put the TV on.
Speaker 1: He'll be fine. You give them reave meals a day,
Speaker 1: and then you waited out two weeks and then if
Speaker 1: you want to move on, you can, and if not,
Speaker 1: then you might be in jail for a little while.
Speaker 1: But it's totally worth it in the end. What do
Speaker 1: you call Jared toxic? Oh well, no, he's not toxic,
Speaker 1: but that was very toxic gave Please don't do that anyways.
Speaker 1: Definitely don't you And thank you so much for joining
Speaker 1: us for that call. I'm sorry for taking away from
Speaker 1: from your Yeah, but I appreciate that. We appreciate you again. Uh.
Speaker 1: Please go to Hannah Berner dot com to follow where
Speaker 1: she's gonna be next. That's Hannah b E R n
Speaker 1: e r dot com, or just follow on social media.
Speaker 1: That's also a good solution. Thank you to everyone else,
Speaker 1: Jared of course, Hannah, Riley Easton, Mark, everyone else at
Speaker 1: I Heeart Radio. Thank you tune in next week where
Speaker 1: maybe we suck just a little bit less. Follow hell
Speaker 1: by suck at Dating on I Heart radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast