Speaker 1: The Hookup is a production of iHeart Podcasts, Blumhouse Television,
Speaker 1: and Amber twenty. Listener discretion is totally advised.
Speaker 2: Okay, Cavin my tale.
Speaker 1: OI, this is all out of order. The werewolf attack
Speaker 1: doesn't come until minute twenty. Hang on, Sorry, but context
Speaker 1: here is important. Without the preceding nineteen minutes of drawn
Speaker 1: out diatribes and overshares, the fun werewolf stuff won't make
Speaker 1: any sense. I mean, it probably won't make any sense regardless,
Speaker 1: but that guy's gotta try.
Speaker 3: Ah.
Speaker 1: The stakeout a staple of any good mystery, or, as
Speaker 1: evident by its appearance in my own little story, a
Speaker 1: staple of potentially bad mysteries too.
Speaker 2: Just the very.
Speaker 1: Conceit of sustained, low key surveillance feels contrary to my
Speaker 1: skill set. I've only been parked across the street from
Speaker 1: the Ludlow Lodge for an hour, and I am already
Speaker 1: jumping out of my skin. What what was I saying?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, the steak out at the Ludlow Lodge. See it
Speaker 1: may not be apparent from my cool and collected demeanor.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, I found a gum. You weren't under the seat,
Speaker 1: But I'm still a little shaken from the Bellboy and
Speaker 1: conquered the other night.
Speaker 4: Look.
Speaker 1: I knew that threesome would be awkward, but I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting Bellboy to go berserk and force Matteo to inhale
Speaker 1: his sketchy poppers. I mean, that's the type of kinky
Speaker 1: list on your profile. On top of that, given that
Speaker 1: this is the very same Bellboy who was on duty
Speaker 1: the night Santy disappeared, that makes him my prime suspect,
Speaker 1: my only suspect, and suspects do suss things, hence the stakeout. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta say I like metal as much as the
Speaker 1: next guy, not very much, but the notification tone rattles
Speaker 1: me to my core. It's just so grading. I was
Speaker 1: actually chatting with this guy the other day who told
Speaker 1: me I heard the Metal alert sound plays on an
Speaker 1: uncharted frequency. Apparently animals can't even hear it. Say, do
Speaker 1: you like dressing up as animals? So like grain of Salt?
Speaker 4: I guess.
Speaker 1: And then there's the mystery of the dwindling profiles. I've
Speaker 1: noticed recently that every time I boot up the app,
Speaker 1: there are fewer and fewer guys on. You'd think it's
Speaker 1: just a user exodus to some newer and better hookup app,
Speaker 1: but no such app has hit the market. Ooh, this
Speaker 1: guy's cute. He's got kind of intense features, but it works,
Speaker 1: I think if you're into like guys with really intense features.
Speaker 1: His username is p N Peter P like Portuguese Navy
Speaker 1: polynomio public notary. It's probably public notary. His profile says
Speaker 1: he's twenty two, a Cape Town native studying at Crestwick
Speaker 1: for the semester. And then give me a tap for PNP.
Speaker 1: His DM says, Hey, the great day. What's up on
Speaker 1: a top secret recon mission?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 4: Ugh, nothing that exciting. I just got back from class.
Speaker 1: A Crestwick, right, what made you choose our little old institution?
Speaker 4: Well, I always dreamed of coming to a big American international.
Speaker 1: School, So you came to Crestwick.
Speaker 4: Oh, I was duped everyone he looks the same.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean Crestwick's idea of diversity is having a
Speaker 1: Jamba Juice and smoothie king on campus. So yeah, Hey,
Speaker 1: what's pn P stand for.
Speaker 4: Party and play? I'm having a few people ever to
Speaker 4: kick it and chill.
Speaker 1: I like to chill sick.
Speaker 4: I'm by the corner of Orange and Ricewood. You know
Speaker 4: where that is?
Speaker 1: Negatives? Can you drop me a P and.
Speaker 3: Pin calculating joke?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I know done? So are you coming over tonight?
Speaker 1: Am? I coming over? It's not like I have anything
Speaker 1: else going on tonight, and Matello still won't return my calls. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I can't focus, Dame. I need to find Santy. That's
Speaker 1: my top priority right now, not frivolous parties with cute
Speaker 1: metal guys.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'll get it, pe and Pin like p and Peter.
Speaker 4: You didn't mention you a funny?
Speaker 1: I mean, okay. On second thought, though, it's not like
Speaker 1: Santy is going anywhere.
Speaker 3: Right arriving at your location on the lamp as.
Speaker 1: You said, I guess I'm not sure. I haven't been
Speaker 1: here before.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, Oh.
Speaker 1: Please don't say it. Don't say it. Don't stay safe tonight, bro,
Speaker 1: God damn, they always know.
Speaker 4: Diamion.
Speaker 1: He and Peter Hi?
Speaker 4: Oh, just Peter is fine.
Speaker 1: Just Peter is fine. No, he's coming towards me. Is
Speaker 1: he going for the hug? The handshake? Dare I even
Speaker 1: think it? The cheek kiss? I'll play it safe and
Speaker 1: choose hug no to me?
Speaker 4: Oh whoa a hug. That's a little guy, don't you think?
Speaker 1: But but, but but we are gay, not me, not anymore?
Speaker 4: What's your laugh?
Speaker 2: You have?
Speaker 4: Friend? Oh kitty cop no.
Speaker 1: To self, never be loocid again.
Speaker 4: Can I take your cut?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thank you? Oh here I brought pretzels.
Speaker 4: Why why?
Speaker 1: I mean, it just seemed like the thing to do.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to show up to a party empty handed.
Speaker 4: Oh you die, You are Fuddy Cove. The others are
Speaker 4: redly the kitchen Elias big Top. This is danging.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, it's big Top, my chiropractor, Comrade Damien Jesus Christ,
Speaker 1: the runaway bottom who lots too unpack about that statement?
Speaker 1: How are you a big top?
Speaker 5: You mean since you snuck out while I was in
Speaker 5: the shower and blocked me on metal.
Speaker 2: I'm great.
Speaker 1: Thanks, that's a relief. I thought you'd be mad.
Speaker 5: Watch it had a hell of a day, and the
Speaker 5: last thing I need is you stalking.
Speaker 1: So funny he brings that up. See as it relates
Speaker 1: to stalking Big Top, it might be prudent to jump
Speaker 1: back to this morning's stakeout for a sec. Tired of
Speaker 1: my fruitless surveillance mission, I was just about to call
Speaker 1: it quits for the day. Oh when I saw it?
Speaker 1: Hold up, I'd had my camera trained on the third
Speaker 1: floor outside bell boys room, but suddenly I'm drawn to movement.
Speaker 1: A few floors up, a door opening, a door marked
Speaker 1: six one six. Since being the sight of Santy's disappearance,
Speaker 1: that room has become the residence of the not so gentle,
Speaker 1: not so giant, known to the metal community as Big Top.
Speaker 1: And now someone's coming out of that apartment. A girl
Speaker 1: didn't expect that, A friend, a sister, a patient. Oh yikes.
Speaker 1: In light of the goodbye ass grab, I'm hoping none
Speaker 1: of the above is Big Talk into women too. I
Speaker 1: thought he was gay, but I mean maybe he's just
Speaker 1: not into labels, which is cool. Af sexuality isn't all
Speaker 1: black and white and shit. See, I'm hip, I'm forward thinking.
Speaker 1: I learned everything I know about identity politics from radicalized
Speaker 1: high schoolers on TikTok. Wait. No, Big Top literally labeled
Speaker 1: himself as gay. Hmm, okay, well I'm still super progressive
Speaker 1: and cool.
Speaker 4: Sorry, you two have history. I'm getting another drink.
Speaker 1: It feels like I'll need it.
Speaker 4: Damien, this is Elias. Any bad blood here I should
Speaker 4: know about Elias.
Speaker 1: What to say about Elias? You know he has a
Speaker 1: kind of children of the Corn energy about him.
Speaker 5: No bad blood to speak of. Nice to meet you, Damien.
Speaker 4: Ah, that must be the final guest.
Speaker 1: Oh, no fifth voice to try and distinguish. Okay, new plan.
Speaker 1: Alias seems to have a little cold, so let's just
Speaker 1: crank that up a bit to set him apart.
Speaker 4: No bad blood to speak of, I mean better, Ah,
Speaker 4: that must be the final guest.
Speaker 1: So we've got Elias who sounds like a sickly Victorian child,
Speaker 1: Peter with the Afrikaans accent, oh la cravra, big top,
Speaker 1: who talks like he's always trying to locate his last
Speaker 1: brain cell.
Speaker 2: I do not resort to add hominems.
Speaker 5: What else did that baby dick say about me?
Speaker 1: And then whoever this final guest is? With any luck,
Speaker 1: he'll have a lisp beer. Oh thanks, Elias, I was
Speaker 1: just thinking how nice a beer would be.
Speaker 4: I know you were. I'm an EmPATH.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 5: I know it sounds a little nutty, but it's true.
Speaker 5: I can feel for other.
Speaker 1: People, right right? Wouldn't that just be like empathy? Though
Speaker 1: I think we all sort of have that.
Speaker 5: You know, it is different impaths can sense people's.
Speaker 1: Energies, right right, A hot take. But what if I
Speaker 1: told you people don't have energies, they just have like personalities.
Speaker 5: Well, whatever you want to call it, yours is cynical.
Speaker 1: That's we can agree on. Do you go to Creustwick?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm a senior double major in medical science and chemistry.
Speaker 1: Chemistry. I wonder if you knew Santy?
Speaker 4: What about you?
Speaker 1: Uh, sophomore journalism.
Speaker 2: For real bro journalism.
Speaker 1: Name one cool person who's into journalism, Veronica Mars.
Speaker 4: Bitch if you want this sees uh.
Speaker 5: Matteo Damien, Uh huh, No, way, I'm out.
Speaker 4: What's wrong him?
Speaker 2: Damien's what's wrong?
Speaker 5: I can't be around him?
Speaker 2: Right now?
Speaker 4: Wow, it looks like you make a great impression with everyone.
Speaker 1: Little d Oh, shut up, big.
Speaker 4: Top jail Bras. Just because Diamond has an unattractive personality
Speaker 4: doesn't mean the evening is ruin. Right now, everyone follow
Speaker 4: me to the den and let's party, Matteo, can we.
Speaker 1: Don't worth a shot? We turn into the den, my god, Peter,
Speaker 1: buy some artwork and take a seat around the coffee table,
Speaker 1: upon which rests a colorful array of poppers like a
Speaker 1: ton of poppers. Why are there so many poppers?
Speaker 4: I told you, friend, PNP party and.
Speaker 1: Play right right? Wait, defind party.
Speaker 6: Oh jesus, Damien, this is painful. Party and play doesn't
Speaker 6: denote a regular party. It means drugs party and play.
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, I can't believe I brought pretzels.
Speaker 4: Matteo's correct. Usually it's something a little harder than poppers.
Speaker 4: But it's a school night, all right.
Speaker 1: This is such terrible representation. I'm so sorry, dam Are
Speaker 1: you okay to answer Elias's question, I am so not okay.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen to these paper brands, Surge, Slam, Berlin, Blitz, Musk,
Speaker 1: Agent Orange. Why not like half hearted sexting or absent
Speaker 1: minded jack off?
Speaker 4: Alright, gits, now that we're all acquainted, I want to
Speaker 4: play a game. All right, A couple of you already
Speaker 4: know what. The prize for this game is more poppers,
Speaker 4: not just any poppers. The hookup? Who familiar, Damian?
Speaker 1: Who familiar? Those are really dangerous guys, Matteo and I
Speaker 1: saw a guy turned completely psycho after inhaling them.
Speaker 5: Oh stop, Damien. The hookup didn't make bell Boy crazy.
Speaker 6: Being crazy made bell Boy crazy.
Speaker 2: Well, and maybe.
Speaker 6: Also a lack of access to affordable mental healthcare.
Speaker 2: The hookup just made him horny.
Speaker 4: I took a whiff and I'm fine. I actually loved it.
Speaker 6: I've been looking everywhere for the hookup but can't find it.
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 1: Is that why Matteo is here for the hookup?
Speaker 4: I have to second that I've taken the hookup a
Speaker 4: handful of times and felt nothing but wool brind is
Speaker 4: oving bliss. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've tried the hookup before, Big Top you too?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so what.
Speaker 5: I found someone cutter than you and he offered?
Speaker 1: Did he like try to kill you afterwards?
Speaker 4: Dude? What is your problem?
Speaker 2: Anyway?
Speaker 4: This spottle of the hook cup goes to tonight's winner.
Speaker 1: Fuck yeah, the Teo is obsessed with the hook up,
Speaker 1: but he can't be like addicted, right, I mean, you
Speaker 1: don't get addicted to poppers like this, and yet his
Speaker 1: eyes are bulging like he needs them. I don't trust
Speaker 1: those paupers, and I don't trust the control they have
Speaker 1: over him. I need to win Peter's game and keep
Speaker 1: the hook up away from Mateo. I owe him that much.
Speaker 1: Maybe this is how I boil the centipede. Fine, count
Speaker 1: me in what are we playing.
Speaker 4: Well, it's a little social deduction game, as anyone he
Speaker 4: played Werewolf.
Speaker 5: Werewolf, I've paid that. We call that mafia back home,
Speaker 5: But it's the same principle. One person is secretly assigned
Speaker 5: the role of werewolf and has to avoid being detected
Speaker 5: by the rest of the group, who are assigned the
Speaker 5: roles of innocent.
Speaker 2: Villagers.
Speaker 5: Oh, I know this game. Every turn has has a
Speaker 5: day and night cycle, right, and then during the day
Speaker 5: everyone tries to suss out who the werewolf is.
Speaker 4: M The day cycle ends once the group reaches a
Speaker 4: majority consensus on who they believe to be the werewolf,
Speaker 4: at which time the accused player is eliminated but bye.
Speaker 4: But if the group votes incorrectly, the werewolf may choose
Speaker 4: one player to mauld to death. During the following night's cycle,
Speaker 4: this repeats onto the werewolf has either being correctly identified
Speaker 4: and eliminated, or the werewolf overtakes the final villager.
Speaker 6: So it's like Survivor, except if you vote out the
Speaker 6: wrong person at tribal council you get mauld.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I've never watched it, but sure. Anyway, there's one
Speaker 4: more variable, though, one more in addition to the werewolf
Speaker 4: and the Villagers is a third row, the Oracle. Before
Speaker 4: each round, the oracle may select one player to investigate
Speaker 4: and will learn whether said player is wear Wolf or Villager.
Speaker 5: I don't need ESP to detect the Damien's are simply
Speaker 5: little furry.
Speaker 1: I am gonna pm pound your face in big top
Speaker 1: boys place.
Speaker 4: Please, Mattia, could you hand me my ipado?
Speaker 1: This is gonna be chaos.
Speaker 4: Okay, pass it around and then put your name. The
Speaker 4: app will randomly assign your role and they can be
Speaker 4: only one Werewolf. Oh bummer, Damien.
Speaker 5: I'm sure you would have enjoyed getting spit roasted by them.
Speaker 1: I let that one slide, because honestly, he's not wrong.
Speaker 1: Werewolf the game founded on the tenets of distrust and betrayal.
Speaker 1: You'd think this would be a source of anxiety for me.
Speaker 1: Here you go, dam But the truth is where Wolf
Speaker 1: is my game. If anyone had stopped to think about it,
Speaker 1: they'd realize how perfectly suited I am for this. Mitteo would,
Speaker 1: Doctor Wiley, would Santy would? Because I'm a liar, I'd
Speaker 1: bend the truth to serve my needs, and I've betrayed
Speaker 1: countless people in the process. I'm not proud of it,
Speaker 1: but I don't deny it. Yep, there's a tiny silver
Speaker 1: lining to this personality flaw, a very niche scenario in
Speaker 1: which I hold the advantage. Damian, You have been assigned
Speaker 1: the role of werewolf, and this is that scenario.
Speaker 3: Day one.
Speaker 1: Begin all right, gang, we are ready to begin. I'll
Speaker 1: read the intro m. The year is fourteen forty five.
Speaker 1: Gutenberg has just invented the printing press, and already people
Speaker 1: are committing to zoom book clubs. They'll only join once.
Speaker 1: Running low on witches and gay to burn, the clergy
Speaker 1: folk have set their sights on a new peril lurking
Speaker 1: in the umber.
Speaker 2: The werewolf?
Speaker 4: Is that actually what it says?
Speaker 1: Sh Still, you've never actually seen this fabled beast with
Speaker 1: your own two eyes, and you think to yourself, oh,
Speaker 1: this werewolf prattle tis nothing more than the drunken ramblings
Speaker 1: of the village sought, which reminds you where did your
Speaker 1: dallying farmhand run off to? Alas you sigh, heading off
Speaker 1: to the barnyard to check on the chickens. Chickens, you
Speaker 1: call a pray, Tell have you seen? I'm sorry, what
Speaker 1: is that accent? But you stop gasp and clut your
Speaker 1: pounding heart, for all of the chickens have been killed.
Speaker 2: Nay mauled.
Speaker 1: You gather in the town square to share the horrid
Speaker 1: news with the other villagers, and it's not long before
Speaker 1: you reach a consensus. There's a werewolf in our midst.
Speaker 2: I think Damien's the werewolf.
Speaker 4: What Big Top value entitled to vote? However you please?
Speaker 4: I encol you to accuse people based on logic rather
Speaker 4: than emotion, like would the oracle please make themselves known?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 6: I'm the oracle, and I checked Elias's identity.
Speaker 1: He's a villager, So Mateo is the oracle. Huh, this
Speaker 1: will be more fun than I thought. Wait wait what no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm the oracle. Guys, wait there are two oracles.
Speaker 5: No one of them is lying.
Speaker 4: Damian.
Speaker 5: If you're the oracle, who did you investigate.
Speaker 1: Any menie mine? Big Top and I learned he's a werewolf.
Speaker 2: I am not a werewolf.
Speaker 4: That that's a goddamn liar.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 5: You know I'm gonna turn your energy into your outerge.
Speaker 1: You'll brunt see were wolf. I'm officially casting my vote
Speaker 1: for Big Top.
Speaker 4: Relax, Big Top. This is how the game is played Elias, Uh,
Speaker 4: I can see your gears turning anything.
Speaker 5: Well, based on what we currently know, it's probable that
Speaker 5: one of the alleged oracles, Damien or Matteo, is the werewolf.
Speaker 4: Well that's a fat lot of help.
Speaker 5: I wasn't finished.
Speaker 1: Hmmm.
Speaker 5: Regardless, there's a fifty percent chance that Damien is legit
Speaker 5: and correctly declared Big Top the werewolf, So it would
Speaker 5: behoove us to vote Big Top out rather than risk
Speaker 5: eliminating the true oracle.
Speaker 1: I'm wet.
Speaker 4: What screw that man, I'm officially locking in my vote.
Speaker 5: I vote Damien.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I vote Damien too. I've learned it's generally safer
Speaker 6: to assume he's lying.
Speaker 4: Fair enough, but I'm abouting Big Top.
Speaker 2: What are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 1: I just fucked up so bad, but none of them
Speaker 1: seem to have noticed. See when I declared Big Top
Speaker 1: of the werewolf and then he was proven to be
Speaker 1: a villager, that definitely makes me the fake oracle. But
Speaker 1: if I can just you know, keep tensions high enough
Speaker 1: to make everyone fight with each other on a personal level,
Speaker 1: then I won't have to worry about anything.
Speaker 4: Which leaves us tied at two votes for Damien and
Speaker 4: two votes for Big Top Elias. Would you care to
Speaker 4: break the tie?
Speaker 1: And que and passioned plea for Matteo in three two.
Speaker 5: Calm on, Elias.
Speaker 2: You know I'm legit.
Speaker 4: I declared you a villager.
Speaker 6: If I was Awarewolf, I would have lied and said
Speaker 6: you were awarewof to divert.
Speaker 1: The blame unless you wanted us to think that.
Speaker 5: Well, I have no idea what's going on.
Speaker 1: I shoot Elias the tiniest smile. He shoots me the
Speaker 1: tiniest smile back, and my strategy is working. If I
Speaker 1: can get Alias thinking with a different organ than his head,
Speaker 1: I may have a shot at pulling this off. And
Speaker 1: yes it's fine. I also want to make Mateo jealous.
Speaker 4: Okay, sir Elias, what do you say?
Speaker 5: Sorry to PN pile on, but I vote Big.
Speaker 2: Top, you little fucking comm napkin.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to Night.
Speaker 3: One begin Werewolf. Select a player to.
Speaker 1: Maul Starlight Starbright. Whomever shall I maul Tonight? My choices
Speaker 1: are Matteo, Elias, or PM Peter. Killing Matteo at this
Speaker 1: point would implicate me, and I don't want to kill
Speaker 1: Elias yet. For no other reason than my desire to
Speaker 1: see him smile, which only leaves.
Speaker 3: Day two, final round begin.
Speaker 1: So you gather in the village square, only to discover
Speaker 1: the barely recognizable viscera of Peter.
Speaker 4: Oh hell, which.
Speaker 1: Just leaves myself, Matteo and Elias.
Speaker 4: Can we hurry this up? I'm kind of over it.
Speaker 6: Don't worry, this won't take long.
Speaker 2: I Matteo, the True Oracle.
Speaker 6: Investigated Damien last night, confirming my suspicion that he is
Speaker 6: in fact a werewolf.
Speaker 2: Lies.
Speaker 1: I'm the true Oracle, and I discovered that Matteo is
Speaker 1: the Werewolves.
Speaker 4: Throw down, Elias, what do you think?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, this should be an easy call, Elias.
Speaker 6: Damien is lying through his snarling k nineteeth. He framed
Speaker 6: Big Top, he killed Peter, and now he's trying to
Speaker 6: frame me too.
Speaker 5: No one actually got killed, Mateo. It's a game. It's
Speaker 5: just for fun, you know what.
Speaker 6: It's not just for fun, Twinkie, it's for the hookup.
Speaker 2: And it'll be an ice cold.
Speaker 6: Goddamn day in hell before I led a dim wooded
Speaker 6: quadrat like.
Speaker 1: You mess this up for me, Jesus, Matteo, listen to yourself.
Speaker 6: Listen to myself. That's hard, Damien. Over the sound of you,
Speaker 6: I fucking this po dunk milk toast over here.
Speaker 5: I'm voting for Mateo.
Speaker 6: Dick, of course you are fine. Then I vote Elias
Speaker 6: because fuck this and fuck you.
Speaker 4: Oh well, that makes one vote for Mattio and one
Speaker 4: vote for Elias.
Speaker 1: Damiens you, okay, as the tiebreaker and decider of this
Speaker 1: final tally, I vote Elias as well.
Speaker 7: Final answer, Well, then Elias, you've been eliminated from the
Speaker 7: guy Damien, why.
Speaker 1: It's a valid question. Although it didn't really matter how
Speaker 1: I voted, I would just maul the other person in
Speaker 1: the night and win either way. But it's time for
Speaker 1: me to take accountability. Normally, my instinct would be to
Speaker 1: vote out Matteo. That way, I could just hide behind
Speaker 1: the flimsy excuse of majority vote. But it's that type
Speaker 1: of behavior that attracts more centipedes. If I'm going to
Speaker 1: fix things with Matteo, I need to confront him head
Speaker 1: on and teeth first.
Speaker 8: Begin, Okay, m.
Speaker 9: Gavin Matale, is he gone shit?
Speaker 1: I've always wondered whether silver bullets really kill a werewolf.
Speaker 1: It seems so simple, but they say one little bullet
Speaker 1: to the heart is all.
Speaker 5: It takes the heart.
Speaker 4: Then, I don't think you need to worry.
Speaker 10: I'm doing this for you to protect you from the
Speaker 10: hook up. So you can say whatever you want and
Speaker 10: I'll take it because I'd rather you hurt me than
Speaker 10: hurt yourself. Now game over.
Speaker 3: The werewolf has overtaken the final villager. Congratulations, I'll go
Speaker 3: to hand it to you, Diamian.
Speaker 4: That was expertly played. Thanks, and a deal is a
Speaker 4: deal making you the recipient of tonight's price.
Speaker 1: Oh look up, they're all staring at me. Now, why
Speaker 1: are they all staring at me?
Speaker 5: Go on, little d take a hit.
Speaker 4: You earned it.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, I'm pretty congested today, it turns out,
Speaker 1: so I will just take them to go.
Speaker 4: Come on, Dinian, it's rude to leave with that pod
Speaker 4: tyke in in party five.
Speaker 1: I recognize that sound underscoring Peter's movements, that nauseating crackle.
Speaker 1: I recognize the angry shade of red. His face is
Speaker 1: turning too, and the veins throbbing under his skin. Bell
Speaker 1: Boy got the same way before he attacked us.
Speaker 4: One hit is all it takes.
Speaker 1: Big Top two. Is anyone here not a pod person? Okay? Sure,
Speaker 1: why not. I could stand to loosen up a little.
Speaker 1: Let me just run to the bathroom real quick. My
Speaker 1: bladder contracts when I get anxious.
Speaker 4: allR you back.
Speaker 1: Pro tip uncomfortable specifics. Discourage others from questioning your life.
Speaker 4: Use this caution.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's see okay, window window.
Speaker 2: M hm m.
Speaker 4: Come on, hey, little d what's going on in there?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 2: Chop chop?
Speaker 1: Come on?
Speaker 4: Dimion?
Speaker 2: Shit shit shit shit?
Speaker 1: Why won't this open?
Speaker 5: Be by bo bumb?
Speaker 10: I'm gonna make Damien and hell these poppers until his
Speaker 10: stupid face goes numb.
Speaker 4: You take his arms and I'll grab the poppers.
Speaker 1: Get off me. What do you want for you to
Speaker 1: join us?
Speaker 4: I thought if we let you win the game you
Speaker 4: didn't have visual in your ride, But it's never.
Speaker 2: Easy join you.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about? You let me win?
Speaker 4: You really haven't figured out what's going on. You're supposed
Speaker 4: to be the little detective.
Speaker 1: How do you know about me? Oh?
Speaker 4: Man, that is so much better. Oh well, you get
Speaker 4: it soon enough. Take a big with my bro. Whoa
Speaker 4: what just what is what is going on? Who are
Speaker 4: you guys? Why are my bath.
Speaker 1: Room something just something just shifted gone or the glossed
Speaker 1: over eyes and pulsing veins. It's like Peter and Big
Speaker 1: Top just snapped out of a trance. And that's my cue.
Speaker 1: Matteo Elias, where are you guys?
Speaker 5: Fuck dude, my head is killing me.
Speaker 4: You know what, second thought?
Speaker 10: I feel the great top of the world, Odamien, Where
Speaker 10: art thou?
Speaker 1: Whatever this hookup berserker spell is? Peter and Big Top
Speaker 1: are back under its grip. Fuck this, I'm out of here. Sorry, Matteo.
Speaker 1: I hope you already got out what Peter said back there.
Speaker 4: You really haven't figured out what's guying on here? Bro.
Speaker 1: He acted like I should know, Like there's some big
Speaker 1: picture I'm just not seeing. Oh, screw off Metal. How
Speaker 1: come every hookup I find through you ends in trauma?
Speaker 1: It's no wonder so many people are dropping off the app.
Speaker 2: It's a piece of wait.
Speaker 1: And then there's the mystery of the dwindling profiles. I've
Speaker 1: noticed recently that every time I boot up the app
Speaker 1: there are fewer and fewer guys on.
Speaker 4: Is Big Top into women too?
Speaker 2: Too?
Speaker 4: Whoa a hug?
Speaker 11: That's a little guy, but but we are guy taking.
Speaker 4: Big with my bra.
Speaker 1: Written and directed by Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2: That's Me.
Speaker 1: Sound design and score by Jeremiah Zimmerman, starring Noah Feinberg
Speaker 1: as Damian, Ray Santiago as Santy and Mateo, Nico Greatham
Speaker 1: as Wade, Augustus Prue as Elias, Scott Evans as Big Tough,
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Self as bell Boy, Tina Majorino as Doctor Wiley,
Speaker 1: Obia Bailey as p M Peter Gabrielle Ruiz as Joma,
Speaker 1: Sadie Dickinson as Meg. Additional voices by Megan Taylor, Harvey,
Speaker 1: Susan C. Bennett, Verona, Blue Mark Bramhall, Brian Daniel Porter,
Speaker 1: Chris Dickey, Aaron Cocher, Christopher Corbyn, Kiff, Fandon Huy, and
Speaker 1: Rhys Griffin. Opening theme by Alex Yoder, Casting director Sonny
Speaker 1: Bowling and Meg Mormon. Executive producers from iHeart, Trevor Young
Speaker 1: and Matt Frederick. Executive producers from Blumbhouse Chris Sticky and
Speaker 1: Noah Feinberg.
Speaker 2: That's Me.
Speaker 1: Executive producers from Ember twenty David Thwaites and Jimmy Jellen.
Speaker 1: Supervising producer Rachel Foley, Editor Noah Feinberg. That's Me,