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Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, It's Sophia and welcome back to work in progress.

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Speaker 1: Our guest today is someone I am so excited to

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Speaker 1: sit down with. He has been called a world changer,

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Speaker 1: a teacher of teaching, and even the modern day Mr Rogers.

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Speaker 1: His passion for education and supplying as much as possible

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Speaker 1: for young students to maximize their time in school is unmatched.

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Speaker 1: His name is Donovan Taylor Hall. Mr Donovan, as he's

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Speaker 1: often called at school, has such a magnanimous drive to

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Speaker 1: improve children's experiences in the classroom that it caught the

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Speaker 1: eye of The Today Show, Now This, and countless interviews

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Speaker 1: for other publications, programs and podcasts. His desire to see

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Speaker 1: growth and positivity in the way that children think about

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Speaker 1: themselves and in the way they talk to them elves

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Speaker 1: has ultimately taken him out of the classroom. Now. Mr

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Speaker 1: Donovan serves as a foundational instructor at Full Life, where

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Speaker 1: he helps not only the youth of America, but their teachers, counselors,

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Speaker 1: and parents too, as a means of broadening the scope

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Speaker 1: of his positive impact. While I have Mr Donovan on

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Speaker 1: the show, I'm looking forward to asking him about his

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Speaker 1: own experiences in school and how they led him to

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Speaker 1: become the teacher that he is today. I'll also be

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Speaker 1: talking to him about the impact of mental health on

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Speaker 1: our ability to learn and grow, how we might have

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Speaker 1: more empathetically informed education, which we could change in our

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Speaker 1: country from the bottom up, and about the impact that

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Speaker 1: sudden growth can have on all of our mental health.

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Speaker 1: He is a truly wonderful human being. I am infinitely

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Speaker 1: grateful to the Internet for having connected us and made

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Speaker 1: us friends, and I am so excited for all of

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Speaker 1: you to get to know him a little bit better.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy for everybody listening at home, Donovan and I connected.

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Speaker 1: You know, we we kind of became like little social

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Speaker 1: media cheerleaders for each other because I just happened, you know.

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Speaker 1: I guess Instagram knows as creeped out as we are

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Speaker 1: by the algorithm. Instagram knows that I am really passionate

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Speaker 1: about education and also the way that people can support kids.

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Speaker 1: I've been so fortunate in my life with my career

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Speaker 1: to be able to highlight teachers who changed my life.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, there's that that like

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Speaker 1: really old school women's brand like Jones New York with

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Speaker 1: the Apple logo that feels very like eighties or nineties

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Speaker 1: to me. I think because that's when I became cognizant

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Speaker 1: of like these big, you know, advertisements, when I was

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Speaker 1: like going shopping with my mom as a little kid,

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Speaker 1: and you would see actors and entertainers do these campaigns,

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Speaker 1: these like back to school campaigns to highlight their favorite teacher.

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Speaker 1: And Peter Goss was the English teacher who in my

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Speaker 1: four years of high school absolutely changed my life. And

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Speaker 1: I got I called Mr Goss, who was no longer

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Speaker 1: in Pasadena, he lives in Arizona with his family, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, will you come and do this thing

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Speaker 1: with me? And you know, the brand doesn't pay anybody

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Speaker 1: or anything. They do a charitable donation to a teacher's association.

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Speaker 1: It's really cool. So so he came and we got

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Speaker 1: to do this photoshoot together and we were like, this

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Speaker 1: is so crazy, um, you know. But he was my

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Speaker 1: one of my greatest mentors as a kid. And then

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Speaker 1: my professor, my very favorite college professor, Christopher Smith, who

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Speaker 1: teaches at USC Edinburgh, absolutely changed my life again. Was

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Speaker 1: the first person who ever told me I should publish

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Speaker 1: my writing. Was a really tremendously supportive college professor for me,

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Speaker 1: and he came on show in the first season, and

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Speaker 1: so I give you that background just to say, you know, educators,

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Speaker 1: I truly believe have the capacity to change lives. And

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Speaker 1: so when your video popped up on my Instagram explorer

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Speaker 1: one day, I saw, you know, this teacher is changing

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Speaker 1: you know, zoom classrooms for kids, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what is this? And I just started watching you know,

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Speaker 1: the video and and watching the way that you talked

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Speaker 1: to your students in those clips, um, the way that

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Speaker 1: you love them. I mean truly, you you encourage this

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Speaker 1: positive self talk, You encourage them to express gratitude, You

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Speaker 1: tell them how valued they are about you and how

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Speaker 1: much you believe in them, and and you you speak

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Speaker 1: to them in ways that empowers each of them. And

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Speaker 1: I just we obviously never met, but I just thought,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know this person, I know what kind

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Speaker 1: of person this person is. And yeah, I started sharing

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Speaker 1: your videos and then we started two d M and

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Speaker 1: and you know, here we are months later chatting, and

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Speaker 1: it was so fun to direct you know, all of

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Speaker 1: the lovely people, like everyone who's listening at home right

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Speaker 1: now from from my digital community, your way, you know,

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Speaker 1: on your birthday. It was really fun. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: love it my students because I mean they're like super supportive.

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Speaker 1: But the middle school, high school students. I got so

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Speaker 1: many messages from them, like Sophia Bush, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: my friend, yeah, we talk, it's cool, it's cool. My

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Speaker 1: students are like, please tell her. I said, Hi. So

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Speaker 1: there's like one student name Ils specifically who loves you.

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Speaker 1: Ela wants you to know that she adores you, and

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Speaker 1: she's super excited that you're bringing me on the show.

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Speaker 1: And that's my homie. So I read a book like

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Speaker 1: kind of randomly at my friend's house and then I

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Speaker 1: went and bought a copy of it. And I can't

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Speaker 1: even remember the name. But the book was about all

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Speaker 1: these famous people who had like in every industry, so athletes, actors,

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Speaker 1: like scientists, speakers, like entrepreneurs, and it was and they

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Speaker 1: talked about kind of their origin story where they came from,

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Speaker 1: and so many of these people were like I had

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Speaker 1: this one teacher who like one time told me they

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Speaker 1: believed in me. And I held onto that and I

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Speaker 1: moved forward and I got so stuck on that, and

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Speaker 1: I was like one time, like one teacher, you had

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Speaker 1: one teacher tell you something one time and it's stuck

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Speaker 1: with you, and that's been like the baseline for, you know,

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Speaker 1: your growth and the catalyst for like your work in

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Speaker 1: the world. And so I just took it upon myself

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Speaker 1: to be like, all right, well, I'm gonna like hyper

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Speaker 1: mode and I'm going to find something to lift up

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Speaker 1: about each one of my kids, and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: tell them as much as I can, like how much

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Speaker 1: they mean to me and how much they impact me.

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Speaker 1: And I think I've been working with kids literally from

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Speaker 1: like parent fild classes to college kids, and when I

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Speaker 1: got to middle school, they were the ones that I

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Speaker 1: felt like needed it the most, because that is I

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Speaker 1: kept talking to adults and I would tell them I

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Speaker 1: worked with middle schoolers, and they would have these kind

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Speaker 1: of gut reactions of like middle schools the worst or

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Speaker 1: that's the worst age, and I hated middle school and

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Speaker 1: and I just started I kept hearing that pattern. I

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Speaker 1: got like one outlier. It was like I loved middle school.

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Speaker 1: I thrived, and I was like, Oh, the only person

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Speaker 1: I talked to who says that. But for the most part,

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Speaker 1: we all have this kind of like the generalized statement.

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Speaker 1: But the people I've talked to have said that they

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Speaker 1: hated middle school and that they don't and then they

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Speaker 1: don't like middle schoolers currently. And so I started to

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Speaker 1: just kind of ask myself, like why, you know, why

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Speaker 1: is that and if that is the if that has

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Speaker 1: a shared experience that we're all havinging, like why aren't

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Speaker 1: we doing more? You know, like why aren't we doing

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Speaker 1: more for that age? Because that is when identity really

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Speaker 1: starts to form. And I think a lot of adults

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Speaker 1: kind of realized that's when we start to those negative

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Speaker 1: self talk. Things start to come in that idea and

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Speaker 1: the idea like who am I supposed to be? What

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Speaker 1: role am I supposed to play in order to feel value?

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Speaker 1: Which means like how do I feel safe? And I

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Speaker 1: started to apply this work with them and I just

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Speaker 1: started to see them shine, Like in my class specificy,

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Speaker 1: they go to their other classes and those walls would

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Speaker 1: come back up, but in my class, it was just humanity,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I think that if I could do

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Speaker 1: anything for kids, it would be connecting there to their humanity,

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Speaker 1: because I think that that's what we need desperately, as

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Speaker 1: kids who are more connected to their humanity and who

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Speaker 1: know that they don't have to perform or or prove

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Speaker 1: or anything, that that there they're valued and valuable because

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Speaker 1: they're here, and that their curiosity deserves to be nurtured,

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Speaker 1: and that it's okay not to know everything and all

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Speaker 1: of it. Yeah. I had a bell in my class

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Speaker 1: that I used to ring when the kids would teach

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Speaker 1: me something, just to celebrate it, because I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what everything. Please, there's there's so much

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Speaker 1: in the world that I don't know. But it's also

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Speaker 1: like a great way to connect with Let's learn, Let's

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Speaker 1: look this up, let's research this together. I have no idea,

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Speaker 1: let's figure it out and learn together. That I'm curious

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Speaker 1: because I always like to know how the people that

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Speaker 1: you know, I sit across from in these conversations became

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Speaker 1: the way they are and arrived at you know, this

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Speaker 1: point on this day that that we're talking. And I

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Speaker 1: really wonder for you when you think about all of

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Speaker 1: the sort of positions in life you've referred to, you know,

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Speaker 1: from from young kids to high schoolers, how do you

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Speaker 1: look back on your own childhood? You know, was was

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Speaker 1: Donovan as a kid? This empathetic and uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: big beaming smile, uplifting guy in every room, or or

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Speaker 1: were you also either an elementary school or middle school

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Speaker 1: having a hard time. I think I learned like pretty

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Speaker 1: quickly what I what I thought I should be and

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Speaker 1: that role that I filled. And then it sounds dramatic,

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Speaker 1: but I want to be honest with you. It started

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Speaker 1: from when my dad passed away when I was six,

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Speaker 1: and I sat in my mom's lap at the funeral

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Speaker 1: and I told her a joke and she she would

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Speaker 1: always tell people like, oh, he was just trying to

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Speaker 1: make sense of death. But in my head, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I gotta make her feel better, Like that's exactly what

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Speaker 1: I remember. And so from that point on, it was

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Speaker 1: like you do good, Donnie, Like, do good so it

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Speaker 1: will help the people around you. And so I was

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Speaker 1: really quiet. I got good grades, I had friends and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. But when I got to middle school,

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Speaker 1: my identity, kind of my character straights started to come

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Speaker 1: out a little bit more and I realized that I

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Speaker 1: could be that kind of on a bigger scale. And

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Speaker 1: so then I was just like friends with everyone. That

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Speaker 1: was kind of my thing. But I mean, when I

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Speaker 1: looked back in middle school in the high school, I

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Speaker 1: like hating myself, already starting to get a little emotional

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Speaker 1: um and for a really long time in my life,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't even look back at that time without being

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Speaker 1: ashamed of myself because I did so many things that

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Speaker 1: I knew weren't good for me, but I was just

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Speaker 1: trying to feel better and I didn't know, and I

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Speaker 1: didn't have anyone in my life who who could help

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Speaker 1: access like that hurt and that struggle I was going through.

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Speaker 1: And when I got into high school, I had more

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Speaker 1: death happened and and it ended up being my my

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Speaker 1: senior year, my one of my best friends passed away,

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Speaker 1: and that role came up again because his family was like,

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Speaker 1: well we speak at the funeral, Like can you represent

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Speaker 1: his friends and speak at the funeral? And so this

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Speaker 1: idea that like I have to be valued. If I

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Speaker 1: want to be valued, I gotta take care of everybody.

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Speaker 1: And so then I then I became that for my friends.

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Speaker 1: And then I had like tons of close friends who

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Speaker 1: I would do anything for. And then I found my

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Speaker 1: work with kids, and and even though this work is

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Speaker 1: really important, the way that I was used in it

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Speaker 1: for a long time was trying to fill this role

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Speaker 1: of I've got to save everyone. I gotta take care

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Speaker 1: of people. But I had no idea how to take

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Speaker 1: care of myself. I would use, I would use everything

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Speaker 1: I had. I would give it to everyone I could,

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Speaker 1: to my students, to parents, to my friends, and I

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Speaker 1: would have nothing left. And so I had no room

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Speaker 1: for self love. I had no room for self care.

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Speaker 1: I had no room for relationships I had. It was

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Speaker 1: like you were a tool. You are here to make

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Speaker 1: people feel better, and I and and that's it. And

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Speaker 1: so I started to kind of I think recently, in

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Speaker 1: the past maybe five years, say like isn't there more,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, isn't there more to me? Can I

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Speaker 1: have more in my life that I deserved? And I

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Speaker 1: think now when I look back at my childhood, I

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Speaker 1: feel like very sympathetic for myself. I don't blame myself.

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Speaker 1: I don't hold myself to those same expectations. I'm not

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Speaker 1: I mean to myself anymore. I want to hug up

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to sit next to him and

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Speaker 1: be like, man, this is tough, and like you're you're sad,

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Speaker 1: and like I'm here for you and I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to judge you, right, but like also to be with

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Speaker 1: them to to to let him know that he's safe

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Speaker 1: and he's okay just being who is. He doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to be more than he is. And um, that's been

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Speaker 1: I'm back home in Virginia right now, my mom's house, transitioning,

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Speaker 1: and it's like messing with my head a little bit

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Speaker 1: because it's like being a kid again. It's like being

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Speaker 1: home and trying to fall into those roles and how

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Speaker 1: do I continue to to be myself and how do

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Speaker 1: I continue to set boundaries that respect my space with

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Speaker 1: also being around people who knew me when I was younger,

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Speaker 1: and when I didn't, I didn't have those tools that

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Speaker 1: assessible to me. And so I think that I'm literally

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Speaker 1: teaching myself right now. I'm using the skills I teach kids,

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Speaker 1: because it's like, okay, I'm like kind of nurturing Donnie,

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Speaker 1: nurturing like middle school Donnie. Right now. We've got to

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Speaker 1: take care of him. And it's tough. It's tough, but

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Speaker 1: it's super important. I think I think so too, And

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Speaker 1: I can't help but think about how hard opportunities are.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you know, you are in a space where you

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Speaker 1: literally have the opportunity to open your bedroom door and

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Speaker 1: look down the hall and see your younger self and

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Speaker 1: and nurture that part of you that still is that age.

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Speaker 1: And that's hard. You know, Nobody told us when we

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Speaker 1: were kids that being self actualized adults took so much

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Speaker 1: freaking work. I'm like, hello, Also, I look back and

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, why isn't guidance counseling mandatory in schools?

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Speaker 1: Like why don't we create you know, um like youth

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Speaker 1: therapy as a as a requirement so that kids can

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Speaker 1: begin learning the tools earlier, so you don't have to

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Speaker 1: do so much work as an adult to then go

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Speaker 1: back and re heal. You could start, you could start

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Speaker 1: learning to self soothe. You could start building your mental

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Speaker 1: health tool kit at a younger age. It's really it's

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Speaker 1: wild to me. Did you did you grow up in Virginia?

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Speaker 1: Is that where? Yeah? I grew up in the same area.

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Speaker 1: I'm in a different house that I grew up, but

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Speaker 1: I grew up out in this area, which has been

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Speaker 1: it's it's been interesting, yeah, to see it through my

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Speaker 1: eyes because you said something that just resonates so deeply

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Speaker 1: with me, and that's what I've been saying for a

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Speaker 1: long time. So something that I didn't. I haven't really

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Speaker 1: got to go into too much depth about it, but

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Speaker 1: I never went to school were teaching. That was like

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Speaker 1: never my career path. And when I started to work

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Speaker 1: with kids, I was doing like after school programs and

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Speaker 1: after school programs it's not attached to grades. So first

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Speaker 1: of all, there's like a difference between working with kids

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Speaker 1: and not having to talk to them about academics and

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Speaker 1: really helping kind of nurture like their inner assets is

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Speaker 1: what I call him, uh, And I really liked it.

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Speaker 1: But I started to do the work I do with kids.

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Speaker 1: I started to do it in my early twenties because

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Speaker 1: I needed it because I was so depressed and I

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, suicidal at points, and I was

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Speaker 1: like I can't live like this, and so I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need tools to take care of myself, like I can't,

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Speaker 1: I can't take my life. But also I can't continue

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Speaker 1: living like this, and so I started to learn things

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Speaker 1: like gratitude, and I started to learn things like growth

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Speaker 1: mindset before I even had a name, and I started

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Speaker 1: to learn things like self talk. And then I was

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Speaker 1: teaching kids, and so I had the space to kind

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Speaker 1: of just shift it into that and so My goal

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Speaker 1: has always been since I started this, at least to

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Speaker 1: be like a public figure for kids, because you got

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Speaker 1: they got you got, you got them. Looking up to

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Speaker 1: all these public influencers and how many of them are

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Speaker 1: talking to kids directly, and I'm not trying to shame anyone,

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Speaker 1: like do your thing, but I'm like, where's our Mr Rogers,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, where's our our Burton? Where where are

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Speaker 1: people at to talk to us about these things that

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Speaker 1: we don't get to talk about in the school. And

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Speaker 1: so I just I want to I want to be

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Speaker 1: that for kids because I know what it was like

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Speaker 1: to be a kid and not know where to turn,

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Speaker 1: and to to be too afraid to talk to my parents,

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Speaker 1: to not have a teacher that really saw me, um,

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Speaker 1: to not have the emotional vocabulary or the capacity to

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Speaker 1: evening like explain how I was feeling. And so that's

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Speaker 1: been my kind of goal for a long time, is

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Speaker 1: to to do this work with kids on a larger scale,

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Speaker 1: to be a teacher that they choose, that they choose

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Speaker 1: to go to, not that is forced upon them. Where

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Speaker 1: did you begin to learn those skills, as you said,

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Speaker 1: you know, gratitude practices, um, ways of self inquiry ways

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Speaker 1: of being that that could help you be more in

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Speaker 1: touch with your emotions and then more in touch with

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Speaker 1: all the kids you were working with. I did this

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Speaker 1: program called School of Embodied Leadership and when I was

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Speaker 1: in claw Edge, which was like some of my toughest times,

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Speaker 1: but I found a random flyer for it and it

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Speaker 1: was like, come do this weeklong program and it was

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Speaker 1: like learn how to be a leader. And I was bored,

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Speaker 1: and I like had said to myself that day, like

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Speaker 1: I need to do something like different, right, And I

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Speaker 1: saw it and I went to it, and it was

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Speaker 1: like the first place I got to grieve. It was

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Speaker 1: the first place where I got to to let emotions out.

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Speaker 1: It was the first place where I could think about

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to do on a larger scale, like

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Speaker 1: who who do I want to be in this world?

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Speaker 1: And I went to that program five years in a row.

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Speaker 1: And it's like a I mean, it costs like four

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars for people to do and my school just

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Speaker 1: offered it for free for us and it was just

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Speaker 1: like my healing place and it was like that's where

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Speaker 1: I made my first commitment. That's like the first time

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Speaker 1: I ever made a commitment to work that was larger

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Speaker 1: than myself. And I had a woman named Susie who

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Speaker 1: like still like post all my stuff, which makes me

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Speaker 1: so happy. She like she was the first mentor I

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Speaker 1: had who really took time to see me and really

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Speaker 1: took time to like she would be talking to twenty

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Speaker 1: one year on me. But at the same time, the

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Speaker 1: addressing like sixth grade on me, and that that was

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Speaker 1: kind of the first place where I got to feel

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Speaker 1: what it was like to be in community, to be

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Speaker 1: like helping other people heal I'm healing, to be putting

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Speaker 1: the healing towards something bigger, to not just like we're

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Speaker 1: feeling we're here to heal, but we're here to to

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Speaker 1: become leaders who are embodying all these values in these principles.

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Speaker 1: And and that's when I just I mean, it was

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Speaker 1: just amazing to me, and I loved it, and I

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Speaker 1: couldn't wait to go back every year. I was so

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Speaker 1: excited to go back. Um. And then the gratitude stuff

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Speaker 1: like surprisingly I I read like Ronda Burn and I

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Speaker 1: was like, and it's because I read it now and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, like it's a little houfu. But for me,

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Speaker 1: it was the first place that talks to me about

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Speaker 1: like gratitude and the power of like saying thank you

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Speaker 1: for things. And so I bought like a little pitch

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Speaker 1: counter um and I named Marvin who's over there. And

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Speaker 1: so I just made a goal to myself to say

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Speaker 1: as many thank you's a day as I could. And

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Speaker 1: in the beginning, especially after I was like directly after

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Speaker 1: filming Suicidal, and it was really tough. You know, some

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Speaker 1: days it was like, I'm grateful to be here, I guess, right,

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Speaker 1: And you know, after a while, because the gratitude is

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Speaker 1: a skill and you can get better at it when

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Speaker 1: you practice it. After a while, it was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful for like gravity, I'm grateful for like cinnamon, those

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00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 1: crunch right, I'm grateful for that person who smiled at

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Speaker 1: me when we were driving today. And it just I

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Speaker 1: started to feel the way that the world kind of

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Speaker 1: transformed around me, and I thought that that was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: And so that was one of the first things I

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Speaker 1: started to teach kids, was like, Hey, let's practice gratitude,

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Speaker 1: Like let's see what this feels like. And I could

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Speaker 1: just see kids opening up and and and and seeing

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Speaker 1: them express it to other people was like even more

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Speaker 1: powerful because and you've got these adults who had a

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Speaker 1: mom can in write me. And I had no idea

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Speaker 1: what was going on because she was just like sobbing

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Speaker 1: and she was like, my daughter just like stood up

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Speaker 1: and gave everybody gratitude for no reason. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: well she had a reason, and she was like why

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Speaker 1: and I was like, because she wanted to, because she

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00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: she learned this skill and she was like, hey, I

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00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,239
Speaker 1: have to thank people, and she wanted to do that.

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00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: So after that, I was like, there's something here, There's

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Speaker 1: something here that I need to to teach you. I'm

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Speaker 1: curious looking back, because you have such great perspective on

399
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Speaker 1: when things were changing for you and where you found

400
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,480
Speaker 1: potential and healing, and you're honest about when it was

401
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,880
Speaker 1: hard when you When you look back in that kind

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Speaker 1: of way with you know, empathetic analysis, do you think,

403
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: given that your mom was a teacher, there's a through

404
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,439
Speaker 1: line there for you now can you kind of trace

405
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:02,239
Speaker 1: the inspiration and the and the lessons or or do

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00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 1: you do you see them as sort of separate pawns.

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00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: Um I think that the greatest thing that my mom

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00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: has done for me is probably one of the greatest

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Speaker 1: gifts that I offer my kids, which is like I

410
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: love you. I'm here for you regardless, Like if you

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00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: mess up, if you are sad, if you're angry, if

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00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:25,640
Speaker 1: you're acting like a brat, right, if you're struggling in school,

413
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Speaker 1: if you are taking on a being endeavor, if you

414
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: are being a bump right, she was like, I love

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Speaker 1: you regardless. And that was something that when I started

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00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,280
Speaker 1: to say to my students, I could like hear my

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00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:43,959
Speaker 1: mom and it was like really really, Um, it just

418
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 1: felt like it connected me to her so deeply because

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Speaker 1: it was like we struggled. You know, my mom raised

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00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: four sons on our own using my dad. My dad

421
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 1: was like a line to become the first black US

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00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: as in general, and he died and my mom was

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00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: a teacher, and so she went from having that support

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00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: financially with a partner like who loved her, to doing

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Speaker 1: it on her own. Um. She looks back often and

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00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: she'll say to me like, I didn't do enough and

427
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And she talks about when I struggled

428
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: in high school and I got I was like, I

429
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 1: you loved us, and my struggle would have happened regardless,

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00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 1: you know. And we've been talking a lot about struggling

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00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 1: and suffering recently. That's been kind of a big theme

432
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: in my life because that's kind of what I'm going

433
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: through right now. And I have to let her know

434
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 1: that It's like we all struggle. We all are going

435
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: to struggle, and sometimes when we see people struggling, we

436
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: want to we want to fix it, right. And when

437
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,919
Speaker 1: I'm telling her, it's like, I'm not because she was like,

438
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 1: I see you struggling, and I feel so badly like

439
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 1: it's my fault. And I just told her, I was like, Mom,

440
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm not suffering like I'm struggling. Yeah, this is tough

441
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: because I am in a really, really tough space in

442
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 1: my life right now, and this is probably one of

443
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: the most important struggles I've been through. But I am

444
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: not suffering like I have a house, I have food,

445
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: I have people who have my back, have the most

446
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 1: support in the world, like you know what I mean.

447
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 1: And I just had an experience recently where that really

448
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,199
Speaker 1: kind of like I mean a couple of like a

449
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: couple of days ago, really opened my eyes to that idea,

450
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: and it kind of completely refrained this time period for

451
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 1: me It kind of helped me get a brand new

452
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: perspective on my struggle because I saw someone who is

453
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 1: suffering and I had the opportunity to help them, and

454
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:27,479
Speaker 1: I realized pretty quickly, like I'm not suffering, Like this

455
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: is hard, this is tough, and I deserve love and

456
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 1: I deserve support and all those things, but also I'm

457
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: not suffering. That's important to note. Wow, I that really

458
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: that's that's a moment I want to pause on because

459
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: what an incredible distinction and how important for each of

460
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 1: us to be able to clearly define and separate our

461
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: struggles from suffering. Yeah, struggle is part of life. You

462
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: said it, you know, it is something we all go through.

463
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: And and I think if you can see when something

464
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: is very hard, if you can have the clarity and

465
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 1: also the gratitude to say, I'm very lucky that I'm

466
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: not suffering, but I am really struggling. Okay, what am

467
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: I going to do to get through this? Who can

468
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: support me through this? What is this going to teach me?

469
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: How is this going to make me grow? And And

470
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 1: if you are anyone listening suffering, can you identify that

471
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: so that you can seek help, so that you can

472
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: figure out who can support you through it, or or

473
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,399
Speaker 1: what what might be available to you, you know, in

474
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: your community or in your town or city. I just

475
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: I find that distinction to be really really important because

476
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: sometimes when you're in it, it can be really hard

477
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 1: to see that it will ever end. Yeah, I mean, um,

478
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: can I tell you what happened? Yeah? So I was driving.

479
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 1: I'm back home and I moved from Oakland back to Virginia.

480
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: And my plan was always to do this, to transition

481
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,639
Speaker 1: into speaking for kids, to eventually have a show for kids.

482
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: That's been my goal. And I had no idea how

483
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: I was going to do it. Within the Today Show

484
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 1: thing happened and then now this happened, and like and

485
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: did the Today Show come from that video going viral?

486
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: Is that how that everything kind of just came to

487
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 1: Like everything kind of came to me, which was that,

488
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 1: which is a big part of me recognizing my struggle

489
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: to Um. I was driving and I was thinking, like,

490
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: it's not worth it, Like this, this struggle is not

491
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: worth it because I don't I was like, I'm alone.

492
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: I don't have a car, dr my mom's car. I

493
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: don't have financial security, I don't have insurance. I don't

494
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: have stability. I don't have structure, like I had nothing

495
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: to hold on too, and I feel like I'm free falling.

496
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, is this what pursuing your dreams

497
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 1: feels like? And I was getting so low and I

498
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: was driving around and I was like, do I really

499
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: want this? Like? Do I really I feel like I'm suffering,

500
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: That's what I felt like. I was like, what is

501
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: the point of this? I feel like I'm suffering. All

502
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: these opportunities are coming to me, but I'm so low

503
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: right now. I feel so sad all the time that

504
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: I can't even look at these opportunities. Is a good thing?

505
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 1: And then I pulled up to a red light and

506
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: I looked to my left and there was just this

507
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: man and he was he was there and I rolled

508
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: my window down and I talked to him and he

509
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: was like, do you have any money? And I was like,

510
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: I don't have any money, man, I'm sorry, And he

511
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: was like, look, do you have any food? And I

512
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: was like, no, I don't and he was like okay,

513
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: And I said like, are you hungry? Are you really hungry?

514
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: As if like I don't know why I said that,

515
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 1: which is the first question that came to my mind

516
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 1: because I was like, okay, like maybe I can do something.

517
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: And he told me he felt like he was being

518
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: eaten from the inside out, that's how hungry he was.

519
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 1: And he just looked so gone. And I was like,

520
00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, and he was like it's okay. He

521
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: was like thanks for talking to me, and I was like,

522
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 1: of course. So I drove away, and I was like

523
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: m hm, and everything I've been thinking was gone. Everything

524
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,440
Speaker 1: I've been thinking was gone, and I just busted you.

525
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: And I went to Wendy's and I bought a ton

526
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,439
Speaker 1: of stuff and I came back and I like parked

527
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,879
Speaker 1: the car and I came out and I went and

528
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: I talked to him for a while and he ended

529
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 1: up telling me um that he had a son who

530
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: passed away whose name was Donovan, and yeah it which

531
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: was wild, and so I was just telling him. I

532
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,919
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I wish that, you know, I

533
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: wish I could do more, like I hope this helps.

534
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 1: And he was like, man, you have no idea how

535
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: much this helps. And so I drove away and and

536
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: then I thought, like I get to go home, you know,

537
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 1: I get to go back to my house. I get

538
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 1: to be with my mom. I get to to sleep

539
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: in a bed and not worry about red and I

540
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: get to have food, you know, and and I have

541
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: access to a card. And like suddenly everything that was

542
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: that felt like suffering was like this is what you

543
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: this is what you have been working for. Like this

544
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: is not suffering. This is strougble. It is hard, and

545
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm not invalidating that struggle, but like, you're not suffering. Man,

546
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 1: that guy was suffering. And so then I got really

547
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,400
Speaker 1: I was like, I gotta work. I gotta work in

548
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: a food bay. I gotta help feed people, because that's

549
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 1: like that's suffering, you know, and not like to not

550
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: have food like I can't. I've never had that experience before.

551
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: You know, I get cranky if I don't get to eat,

552
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: but that there's a difference between I'm too busy to

553
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: make time to eat versus I don't have money to eat,

554
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: and I when I came home, I just went and

555
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: hugged my mom and I was like, I'm happy to

556
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 1: be here, you know. And it didn't it didn't take

557
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 1: away the struggle, but suddenly it put it into perspective

558
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: and I was really grateful for where I was like, man,

559
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm floating. The world, isn't I'm not free falling.

560
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm floating and it's tough and it's scary. But like

561
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: having that distinction between I'm not suffering I'm struggling helped

562
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 1: me so much realize that I can do this and

563
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: like you said, I can, I can get these resources,

564
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: I can get myself out of this. I can grow

565
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: through this. Right, there is there's no for me, at

566
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 1: least I'm not. I don't know. This is all kind

567
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: of new to me, but you know, there's no stuff.

568
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: There's no I can grow for not eating. Right, that's suffering.

569
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: And when I think about kids, when I think about

570
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: kids taking their lives because they are suffering, right because

571
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: this natural struggle of trying to figure out why I am.

572
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 1: Because we are failing kids at assisting them in that struggle,

573
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 1: it has become suffering for kids, where kids are like

574
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: silently suffering. And that is why I do the work

575
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 1: I do, is to help kids grow through their struggle

576
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: and not let their struggle turned into suffering because their

577
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: struggle is going to teach them who they are, you know,

578
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: and if you can give them these tools, it's not

579
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: going to take away the hard things in life. Nothing

580
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 1: can take away the heart life, you know what I mean.

581
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 1: But you can go through these things. And I think

582
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: that that's kind of my my mission, you know. Yeah,

583
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: that's so beautiful. And I I think about the way

584
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: that kids struggle and how how much in certain places

585
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: they are suffering. Also because of this deeply intense um

586
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: amplification of things that were you know, supposed to be

587
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: that we see now everywhere. And I think about it

588
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: for you as an adult, you just had this experience,

589
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:44,480
Speaker 1: and because you see everybody's highlight reel, you know, we

590
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: do a lot of comparing our insides to other people's outsides,

591
00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 1: and I think that's why we feel really disjointed and

592
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: why it can be so painful sometimes when we forget

593
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: what we do have. You think, well, I'm I'm this

594
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: age and I've had this career and I'm supposed to

595
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: have this figure it out? And why am I living

596
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: with my mom? And why are we sharing a car?

597
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: And it's like stop just because people, you know, half

598
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: the people on Instagram showing off a vehicle rented it

599
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: for the day, like it's not even a thing, but

600
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 1: it's real and it affects us. And you know that

601
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: study just came out, well the not the study, that

602
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: the transparency about it, that Instagram knows how bad it

603
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: is for kids, especially girls, and that they've been burying

604
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: the data, which really breaks my heart because I think

605
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: about how hard it can be for me to feel okay,

606
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: even even with what my outsides look like to the world,

607
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 1: with that platform, and and with with just the intensity

608
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 1: of the phones and the computers and the digging in

609
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: the inbox in the side, it's like it's it's relentless.

610
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: I'm an adult and you're an adult. We have we

611
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: have brains that have finished developing. And when I think

612
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: about kids, you know, I think about some of the

613
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 1: dumb ship that I did when I was like twenty one,

614
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 1: and I go, well, I didn't have a fully developed

615
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex yet. I didn't even know And that was

616
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: at twenty one. And when I look back now, you know,

617
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: I'm doing this project with my coworkers from my first show,

618
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 1: and we're the three of us as women were looking

619
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: for healing and so and and we're and we're reclaiming.

620
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: It's like really ferocious and it's really tender. All at

621
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: the same time, and we're watching this show together that

622
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: we made, and we're looking at our little twenty one

623
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 1: year old selves and we're babies. I mean we are

624
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 1: we are little girls. And so when I think about

625
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: who that little girl was in middle school, when when

626
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 1: I think about who you were struggling in high school,

627
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 1: when I think about who you were as a little

628
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: boy when you lost your dad, I mean to be

629
00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 1: six years old, and in your little six year old

630
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 1: brain that only has so many connections because it's only

631
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 1: been growing, you know, it's grown for less than a decade,

632
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 1: your brain said, oh, I have to be a fixer.

633
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: I have to I have to help here. I had

634
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 1: a really similar experience at eight, and it took me

635
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 1: until I was literally in such a pressure cooker in

636
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,399
Speaker 1: a job that I had to quit. I had to leave.

637
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,400
Speaker 1: And in that experience, I realized I've been looking outward

638
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 1: my whole life at everyone else. I don't even know

639
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: what it is to truly emotionally stand in a mirror

640
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: and put any of that energy back into myself. I

641
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,720
Speaker 1: just hadn't done it. And it's and it's a weird

642
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: thing to to realize you have to learn a new

643
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: practice as a grown up, and this is why I

644
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 1: wish we could give it to kids, and this is

645
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: part of why I'm so I think I was just

646
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: so struck when I watched you teaching and why I

647
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 1: felt that feeling of Oh, I know this person, I

648
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: see what he's doing, and I would imagine that everyone

649
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:22,800
Speaker 1: who watched that video. I thought, that's what I needed,

650
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 1: That's what I wished i'd had more of, and interestingly, profoundly, really,

651
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: now that I think about it, I think that's what

652
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: you did for that man. You you really mirrored his

653
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: humanity to him and full circle like what gave me

654
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: chills and is doing it again as I'm ready to

655
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 1: tell you what I was thinking when you were telling

656
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: me the story. It's really not lost on me that

657
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 1: mm hmm, oh sorry, it wasn't. Um, I wasn't. I

658
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: was not crying, but it's not it's not lost on me.

659
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 1: The the kind of sign for you to wind up

660
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 1: speaking to a man who lost his son as a

661
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: man as yourself, as a man who lost his father,

662
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: and for your name to be the bridge, I mean

663
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: that that had to be talk about a nod from

664
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 1: the universe when you go, oh, I'm supposed to be

665
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 1: doing exactly this. This is too much to be a coincidence. Yeah,

666
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: and it's wow, it's it's it's been like that for

667
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: the past year, and sometimes it it really scares me.

668
00:36:47,239 --> 00:37:00,240
Speaker 1: But I also know that, um, like I just uh, um,

669
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,920
Speaker 1: you know, I struggle a lot, and I think that

670
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: when you were talking about the highlights real like watching

671
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 1: my highlights, really it was hard because everyone on the

672
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,919
Speaker 1: outside was like, Oh, you're this amazing and I'm I'm

673
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 1: so low. You know, it's been it was. It was

674
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,880
Speaker 1: hard to get out of that for weeks because I

675
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: didn't feel that way and I was really questioning it.

676
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 1: And that's like what you said was like when it happened,

677
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 1: I was just dropped back in my body of like

678
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 1: this is there's no there's no coincidence here, you know

679
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: what I mean that this happened the way it happened. Um,

680
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: and it it kind of just recharged me to be like,

681
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 1: you know, not to just recharge me to get up

682
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 1: and be like okay, time to push through, but to

683
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 1: just kind of like see myself and see the work

684
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 1: and see this larger picture and understand. I don't know,

685
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 1: I just kind of felt like not just like a

686
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: nod from the universe. That felt like a gift. I

687
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: felt like a real gift to be like, I know,

688
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: as you're struggling, right, but I want to show you right.

689
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,319
Speaker 1: And then when I got home, all I could think was,

690
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: I want to help the kids. We're suffering, you know,

691
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: because I'm so worried about kids. I'm so worried about them.

692
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I have so much hope. Yeah,

693
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: I have so much hope for them. And so I

694
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 1: even just doing this interview, like I said, I was like,

695
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: I'm so slow. I don't know if I can do this.

696
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can be on, but I don't.

697
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm trying to be on right now.

698
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:32,680
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just being honest and being open

699
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 1: about this um because I think that that's always kind

700
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: of been what people connect with, not me being on. Yeah,

701
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,319
Speaker 1: on isn't a real thing, and I you know, I

702
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: think it's really interesting when you talk about this sort

703
00:38:46,760 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: of dichotomy that you find yourself experiencing right now. Part

704
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: of what I think I can offer, you know, as

705
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: a as a person who's I got thrust into the

706
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 1: you know Spotlight a long time ago, and every one

707
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 1: does assume when you know you're on the Today Show

708
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,439
Speaker 1: your life is great, and you're like, no, no, it's

709
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: weird because I'm still the same. I just have to

710
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,319
Speaker 1: do this in the morning, but then I have to

711
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: go home and do everything I was doing before anybody cared.

712
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 1: There's this assumption from the outside that when you've quote

713
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: made it, that everything is solved. And I think the

714
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 1: more we can be present to an honest and full experience,

715
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: the better. And I imagine that something you and I

716
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 1: have in common in a relative way is that when

717
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: you learn to be a caretaker and an overachiever at

718
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: a very young age in your adulthood, when you really

719
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 1: confront your humanity and you do have to start looking

720
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 1: inward and you do have to acknowledge that. Um. The

721
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: way I think about it as like a pie chart,

722
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: where like we only we only ever want to be

723
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: in the slices of pie that are the good, you know,

724
00:39:56,719 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: quote unquote happy success this, so you've you've kind been

725
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: ignoring the rest of your own pie chart for your

726
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: whole life. So it's a lot to process. When you

727
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 1: start to you're like, oh my god, it's a bottomless

728
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: pit um. So what I hope to offer is a

729
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:17,800
Speaker 1: I see you be it's okay, and see it will

730
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: get easier. You just haven't been doing it for that

731
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: long on this level and in this way, and just

732
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 1: know it gets easier. I think. What's what's funny is

733
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 1: like I teach my kids three skills and and and

734
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: those are the three skills I'm right now. Yeah, isn't

735
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 1: that wild? When you realize you go, oh, I'm so

736
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 1: good at teaching this to other people. I'm so good

737
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: at being this for other people. Why haven't I never

738
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: done it? Will you tell us about it? Because I

739
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: didn't know we were we were going to jump right

740
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: into the just like how's your heart? Oh, how's yours?

741
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,000
Speaker 1: But I love that we did, and I think I

742
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: would imagine because I remember or what it felt like

743
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: when I heard people having conversations like this, and I

744
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,439
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I knew how to show up this

745
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:10,520
Speaker 1: um with this kind of emotional honesty yet And the

746
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,439
Speaker 1: three skills you teach your kids are the way to this,

747
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: They're the way to kind of come home to yourself.

748
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: So well, will you kind of explain you're teaching philosophy.

749
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,719
Speaker 1: Will you explain the three skills and and what they

750
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 1: mean and why they're important. Yeah, yes, absolutely, And just

751
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: going to start off with some gratitude because thank you

752
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: for giving me the space to do it, because this

753
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: is like all I care about. I'm going to care

754
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,319
Speaker 1: about more things. But I've just been yelling about this

755
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 1: for years. So it's just it's, you know, it's amazing

756
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:45,600
Speaker 1: to be able to be in a space like this

757
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But when they think about like soul,

758
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: that place I went to a school and buy your leadership,

759
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,800
Speaker 1: it was transformative for me. And so when I started

760
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: to look at skills, you know, you see posters in

761
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 1: school that are like be happy or you know, like

762
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: those just those those like little bumper sticker phrases, and

763
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: the thing that frustrating about them is that it's a

764
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: lot of toxic positivity. And so when I said I

765
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: want to teach kids these things, I was really adam

766
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: and about, like, I don't want to go in and

767
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 1: just create energy because I can do that, right, I

768
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: can go into a school and get people hyped. By

769
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:23,360
Speaker 1: fourth period, they're back right into their regular world. I

770
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: was like, I want to teach them skills. I want

771
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: to teach them actual skills and tools, like you said

772
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 1: in their tool marks that they can use. And so, um,

773
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,279
Speaker 1: what I looked was what are transformative skills? Like what

774
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: are skills that can change like fundamentally the way that

775
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: kids view themselves? And so the basically looked at three

776
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 1: transformations and the first one is how they view themselves.

777
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,360
Speaker 1: So what is a skill that helps transform how kids

778
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 1: see themselves? And it's self talk? How do you talk

779
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: to yourself? And it's it's not just like use positive

780
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,360
Speaker 1: self talk, right, So it's like re framing, so using

781
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 1: growth oriented talk, being kind to yourself, being compassionate to yourself, right,

782
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: speaking speaking kind words to yourself, like even sometimes in

783
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: the mirror. Then so I do a lot of work

784
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:18,160
Speaker 1: with reframing, like how we talked about ourselves. So if

785
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: a kid is like struggling and saying like, you know,

786
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 1: I'm dumb, and then it's like all right, cut that

787
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 1: out right, because it's like very closely connected to growth mindset,

788
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: which is the second skill. But it's like what is

789
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: like a what is something that is positive about you?

790
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 1: Or what is a positive way that we can say

791
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 1: that that will make you feel better but doesn't feel

792
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:41,320
Speaker 1: so far fetch right. So if the kids says like

793
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,320
Speaker 1: I'm super intelligent, that still fixed mindset and that doesn't

794
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: feel true to them and they're gonna struggle with that.

795
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: And so it's like I'm learning every day, m right,

796
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: Just a simple switch, right, So instead of I'm done,

797
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 1: I'm still learning, I'm still learning, I'm still growing. Right,

798
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 1: It's not this false positive identity, but it's just this

799
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 1: true thing. I'm like, isn't that true? Like don't you

800
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 1: have so much left to learn? And they're like yeah,

801
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm like all right, cool. So that's the that's the

802
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 1: language we're going to use. And then self talk, really,

803
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: the way that we talk to ourselves, becomes how we

804
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 1: view ourselves and it becomes like that the critic that

805
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: holds us back or pushes us forward. And so I

806
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: think self talk is huge in terms of transforming how

807
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 1: we see ourselves, even creating affirming statements to fall back on,

808
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: right when you're struggling, if you can't reframe in the moment,

809
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: what is your what is your fallback phrase? Right that

810
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,359
Speaker 1: you can go to to kind of like read redirect

811
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,280
Speaker 1: that basically, and so um that's one of the first,

812
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: that's the first skill. The second one I kind of

813
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: talked about because they all kind of go together is

814
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,320
Speaker 1: growth mindset, which is like we talked about growth mindset

815
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,240
Speaker 1: a lot in academic settings now, but I think growth

816
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 1: mindset is connected to just growing in general, like making mistakes, right, learning,

817
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: because kids are so people are so tough on themselves, right,

818
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: and we demand perfection from ourselves all the time, and

819
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: we hold these incredibly high high standards for ourselves and

820
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,239
Speaker 1: we don't meet them. Were so mean to ourselves, and

821
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: so that's like what falls back to that self talk,

822
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: but also just understanding that you're growing still. I can learn.

823
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 1: I might make mistakes. I've made mistakes in my life.

824
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,520
Speaker 1: I've made big mistakes, I've hurt people, I've done things

825
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: that I'm ashamed of. But at the same time, I

826
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: learned from those things, and I learned and I made

827
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 1: a promise to never do those things again, and I

828
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: and I treated people differently from that experience. So I

829
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: can't change what I did. I can't, but I can

830
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: grow from it. And so when I'm working with my kids,

831
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: you know, we would struggle a lot, and sometimes I

832
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 1: would be so close with them that they would be

833
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: embarrassed to talk about their mistakes and they'd be embarrassed.

834
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,320
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yo, like, I love you regardless of

835
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,320
Speaker 1: your mistake. Right I might be disappointed in a choice

836
00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 1: you made, but I'm not disappointed in you. Right then,

837
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: That's a huge thing. So learning that you can get

838
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 1: better at things, and so what you said earlier when

839
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,839
Speaker 1: you're like this is still very new to you. I've

840
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: been doing this for like three months, four months. I

841
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,680
Speaker 1: have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm demanding excellence

842
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 1: of myself. But that's so unfair and I literally have

843
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 1: not said this until this moment of like do like

844
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: be kind to yourself, man, Like, watch how you're talking

845
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: to yourself. And also like growth grow, you are in

846
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: a huge growth period. I feel like I'm going through

847
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: puberty again. That's what I feel like. Like I'm waking

848
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: up and I have like body aches, and I'm like,

849
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 1: am I getting People keep telling me I've gotten taller recently,

850
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: and I keep running into people from my past where

851
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 1: i'd be taller and I'm like than four years ago. No,

852
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: but it feels like it because I'm growing um in

853
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:47,080
Speaker 1: growth mindset, I think really transforms the way that we learn,

854
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: in the way that we grow as a person, and

855
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: in growth mindset makes learning safe, right, because when when

856
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,240
Speaker 1: you can open up and say like I'm still learning

857
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 1: or I'm not great at this yet, where I'm still

858
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 1: working towards this, you don't have to put up this

859
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 1: front of eye in this or eyem that. It's not

860
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 1: this fixed mindset. I don't have to be perfect, right,

861
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 1: I don't have to be brilliant and everything. And I'm

862
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: not going to be brilliant everything I do, right, I

863
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 1: have to learn. That's like, that's why no idees that

864
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: you have to learn how to do these things. People

865
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 1: would say, like, you were born a teacher, and I

866
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: was like, I was born a baby nice trying. That's it.

867
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: I did not I did not come out of the

868
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 1: wound talking about empathy and love and I didn't do

869
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: that right. And so sometimes people will say that, I'm like,

870
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 1: but there's so much work that has gone behind this

871
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 1: that you're not saying, um. So, I think growth mindset

872
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 1: is the biggest of the second skill, and then the

873
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: third one is gratitude, and I think that gratitude transforms

874
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 1: the way that kids see their role, right, when when

875
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: you can have kids really talk about what they're grateful

876
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 1: for and what they appreciate and what what people have

877
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 1: done for them and the impact it's had on them.

878
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's massive suddenly, like kids friendships are

879
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: so much deeper in their connections with their parents are

880
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: changing because they're expressing this is what you did for me.

881
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: And people will speak so poorly of kids, but what

882
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: I've seen is when you give kids these tools, they thrive.

883
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: They love it. The only time I've ever had to

884
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:19,520
Speaker 1: pull pencils out of kids hands because they wanted to

885
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 1: keep writings during the graduate they want to write one

886
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 1: more letter, They want to write one more than you

887
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,799
Speaker 1: know to someone, and I'm like, you can do that anywhere, right,

888
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 1: you can go home. And but for them, it's like

889
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: that's the most transferable skill I've ever seen in the classroom,

890
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,600
Speaker 1: where the kid like, I love this, I saw this.

891
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 1: In fact, I want to go do it somewhere else. Yeah,

892
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 1: it's so amazing to hear about the results and also

893
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 1: to know that they're backed up by all of this

894
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 1: research that exists in the world now about gratitude. I mean,

895
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: you know, Dr Laurie Santos, who runs the Happiness class

896
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 1: at Yale. I mean, this is what it's all about.

897
00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 1: This is the foundation of the whole thing. I wonder

898
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: did you ever get push back from, you know, any

899
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:06,320
Speaker 1: teachers or administrators about this kind of really empathy led

900
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 1: teaching or did people really see results and go, please

901
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:15,719
Speaker 1: keep going. UM. I had weird pushback, and I think

902
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 1: that the pushback was often rooted in white supremacy, which

903
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,200
Speaker 1: I don't say often, but like I was, I was

904
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 1: working in multiple companies when I was younger that when

905
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 1: that stuff started to come out, like they kind of

906
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: like put me in a box, like they would like

907
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 1: pull me away from those situations and stuff. And so

908
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: when I went to Hayward UM, California and I worked

909
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: at Impact, that was the first place where they had

910
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: this extra class, and They're like, you can kind of

911
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,240
Speaker 1: teach whatever you want. It's a non predential teaching position.

912
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: And so I was like, well, I want to teach

913
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:49,399
Speaker 1: my stuff. And so not only did they like let

914
00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 1: me teach my stuff, but they would start incorporating some

915
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: of those practices into the community meetings and into like

916
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 1: our faculty meetings and stuff like that. I've often had teachers, like,

917
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: especially like white email teachers tell me that I'm not

918
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,360
Speaker 1: a real teacher and that they do the hard work,

919
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: and I'm like, just the fun teacher, and you know,

920
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 1: they'll be like, well that's just Mr Donovan. The kids

921
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,359
Speaker 1: just love him, blah blah blah, and I'm like, there's

922
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 1: there's work that I'm doing that you're refusing to acknowledge

923
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 1: for whatever reason. But I think that the pushback has

924
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: always been I think, kind of hiding black excellence versus

925
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 1: the work, because when people when when I'm in a

926
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: community that really lifts up all voices, like then the

927
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 1: work is kind of seen on its own and it's

928
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 1: not just like this guy is connected to this work.

929
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: I don't. I've never no, I've never really gotten pushback

930
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: from parents. I think parents are always really supportive of it.

931
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: But the pushback I think has been more towards me

932
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: as a person than the actual work itself. Yeah. Well,

933
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: and it's interesting because absolutely here what you're saying about,

934
00:50:55,160 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 1: especially sort of whether it's conscious or unconscious stereotyping and

935
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: the way that we assume, you know, a tall black

936
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: man is going to behave and I think as a

937
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 1: woman who has seen the way women talk to each

938
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 1: other finally begin to change in my adult life, and

939
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: knowing how different it was when I was in school,

940
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 1: I wonder if there's also that layer of just jealousy,

941
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 1: because women in particular aren't encouraged to voice frustrations or anger,

942
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: were encouraged to be nice, And so I wonder if

943
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: there's a whole slew of women who I'm not going

944
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,359
Speaker 1: to speak to, whether they're conscious or unconscious of their

945
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 1: sort of inherent experiences of um being raised in a

946
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 1: white supremacist system, which affects all of us. Obviously, I

947
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,840
Speaker 1: one er just how jealous they are that you're everyone's

948
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 1: favorite teacher. Yeah, and and to me too, it's like,

949
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm funny, like I'm charming. I get it,

950
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: Like I'm a little entertainer, right, I get it. Like,

951
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:18,359
Speaker 1: but also I've never wanted people to act like me.

952
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: And so when I come onto like podcasts and stuff,

953
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:24,879
Speaker 1: people like, well, what the teachers doing, I'm like, I don't.

954
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,360
Speaker 1: I would never tell someone to act like me, because

955
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work. I'm weird and wild and it

956
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 1: doesn't work for me trying to act like someone else.

957
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to lift the work up because

958
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, the work is what's really connecting, Like the

959
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:39,399
Speaker 1: kids like that I'm funny, but also the kids feel

960
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: respected and safety thing. And you can do that in

961
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: your own way. Yeah, do the protocol in your own way.

962
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 1: Do it, do it like you. They're not gonna if

963
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 1: you try to do it like someone else. They'll call

964
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,040
Speaker 1: you out for that. And that's like the worst feeling

965
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 1: when kids will call you out for that. But I

966
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 1: think it just makes me sad because underneath whatever it is,

967
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 1: whatever reason that I was pushed down, um, there's a

968
00:53:02,160 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: missed opportunity for conversation around what's working. And that's and

969
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: I think that what I'm grateful for right now is

970
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 1: that I'm having the space to talk about what's worked

971
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 1: for me and what I've seen results without having to

972
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,160
Speaker 1: be like I don't want to get in trouble or

973
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or I don't

974
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: want to attack someone by saying how I feel. You know, Yeah,

975
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 1: was was the experience different in Oakland than in other places? Oh? Yeah,

976
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, I mean everything about moving to Oakland was

977
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 1: the first time I got to be black and I

978
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 1: loved it and it was amazing. But I think especially

979
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 1: working in the education system, it was the school I

980
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 1: was working at, Impact Academy is so that you have

981
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: a pro black teacher vision, and so even though they

982
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: don't have as many black teachers as they would like,

983
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 1: that's a that's a huge part of their core values

984
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,000
Speaker 1: of like talking about anti racism. And I mean I

985
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 1: learned about stuff like I'm packed stuff that happened to

986
00:53:57,760 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 1: me six years ago because I didn't know that those

987
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 1: things were microaggressions and I didn't know that like jobs.

988
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I used to have to cut my hair

989
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: at a boss who would literally be like up skin

990
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:08,840
Speaker 1: that time, like you know a time, it's time of

991
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: your hair because and then I never grew it out

992
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 1: until recently. So I didn't even know I had coals.

993
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,680
Speaker 1: I grew out for the first I wanted to open

994
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 1: people in the streets and be like, oh my god,

995
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 1: you're curls and I'm like, what the world is this?

996
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,239
Speaker 1: Never did. Yeah, I had to cover my tattoos and

997
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 1: I had to shape my hair, and I had to

998
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: like talk quiet and be aggressive and stuff like that.

999
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,720
Speaker 1: And so it's just been interesting to see the difference

1000
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: between But but it's it's not even on the bigger picture,

1001
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 1: it's not even about me, But it's about what we

1002
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 1: can do for the kids when we are living in

1003
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,960
Speaker 1: that liberated system. We're living in a system that's dedicated

1004
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: to that when you live fully as you are. And

1005
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,800
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us, you know, especially people

1006
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: born looking like me, don't know the diff you know,

1007
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:55,399
Speaker 1: we're kind of like, well, what do you mean? So

1008
00:54:55,480 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 1: often and it's it's only when you listen to the

1009
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 1: experiences of other people who talk about the ways they've

1010
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 1: they have been met with demands to reduce who they are.

1011
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:13,120
Speaker 1: And I just keep thinking, for what, for what, what

1012
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: who does that serve? And what is the point? But

1013
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,880
Speaker 1: it is, it is the experience of so many people.

1014
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 1: And I it's not lost on me that in the

1015
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 1: place where you were, where you were free to be

1016
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 1: fully yourself, um, you also were exposed to so much

1017
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 1: more attention, you know, your your your platform on a

1018
00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:44,520
Speaker 1: national level, was was built or or began rather. And

1019
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: I think that that's incredibly beautiful and deserved, and I

1020
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 1: I think it for you and it and it it

1021
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,920
Speaker 1: makes me think about what teachers all over the country

1022
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 1: are going through, whether they're dealing with those kinds of

1023
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 1: micro or macro aggressions at work. The fact that teachers

1024
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: are supported so reductively, you know, the idea that teachers

1025
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 1: have to clear the lists and ask for help, and

1026
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: they're they're supposed to be educators and mediators and confidence

1027
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:22,280
Speaker 1: and guardians and and now you know, there are debates

1028
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,600
Speaker 1: about whether or not to armed teachers because we have

1029
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 1: a pandemic of gun violence, rather than addressing gun violence.

1030
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 1: And I really wonder if there could be a holistic

1031
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:39,959
Speaker 1: space like the one you create for your kids, where

1032
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 1: we could really listen to teachers and listen to what

1033
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: they need and what and what you all know because

1034
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: you have such an important primary function, and I imagine

1035
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 1: it's really hard to serve that function when so much

1036
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: else is done your plate. I mean teachers, teachers and nurses.

1037
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 1: There's like my go to because they are just we

1038
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: appreciate you from the sideline, and they're so underserved. And

1039
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: there are some of the most hardworking people that I know.

1040
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 1: Um and I think, I think what was hard for

1041
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 1: me leaving the education system. I'm not even a credential teacher,

1042
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: so on top of the fact that teachers are underpaid.

1043
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: I can't even get paid what a credential teacher based

1044
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 1: salary is. That's because I'm not a credential teacher. So

1045
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:31,400
Speaker 1: I've literally had people to be like, well, you're not

1046
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:34,040
Speaker 1: a real teacher in the school system and outside of it.

1047
00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 1: But I just I am so grateful for these teachers

1048
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:40,680
Speaker 1: who are out there fighting every single day because I

1049
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 1: see them and I appreciate them so much, and it

1050
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:47,440
Speaker 1: it just it breaks my heart to know that teachers

1051
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:49,440
Speaker 1: struggle the way that they do, because then the people

1052
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 1: who are struggling like that and not getting the support

1053
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 1: they need are supposed to be supporting the kids who

1054
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 1: are also struggling and suffering in their own ways. And

1055
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's hard. It's hard. I've seen so

1056
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 1: many teachers burned them self to the ground, and I

1057
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,200
Speaker 1: knew that I wanted to do something not bigger as

1058
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 1: in like the Importance, but on a different larger scale.

1059
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to more kids versus having one

1060
00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 1: group of kids and so leaving in the classroom, I

1061
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: have lots of people saying, don't do that. We need you,

1062
00:58:14,320 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 1: we need you, and I was like, I have to

1063
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 1: kind of take care of my work and take care

1064
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: of myself, and I can't do that in the classroom,

1065
00:58:20,440 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 1: and that is unfortunate. I can't. If I loved all

1066
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 1: my students the way I did with the groups I've

1067
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 1: had so far, I would be done to teaching by

1068
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,439
Speaker 1: tomows thirty five. I just would not have anything left.

1069
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 1: I know, I have a tattooed for the group I got,

1070
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 1: This group I had for two years, I got a

1071
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 1: tattooed for them, and my last my last group is like,

1072
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 1: where's our tattoo? And I was like, it's for all

1073
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 1: of you, right, But I was just I can't. It's

1074
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 1: not sustainable. You're like, I'm not looking to have like,

1075
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: you know, neck to toes guys, because that's what it

1076
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:55,080
Speaker 1: would be. So how did you make that decision? Because

1077
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: you know the I say that you published on medium um,

1078
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: which for everyone listening is titled yeah, it's ted off.

1079
00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a teacher, but I love teaching. Yeah,

1080
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: what led you to that realization? Because as you said,

1081
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: you do really love your kids, and you really love teaching,

1082
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: and you really want to transform the experience kids have

1083
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 1: in the classroom. So how did you, how did you

1084
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:28,919
Speaker 1: reach that kind of aha moment? Well, I mean part

1085
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: of the work I do with kids with a self

1086
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 1: talk section is really learning about who I am, and

1087
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,760
Speaker 1: so I had to learn like what my strengths were

1088
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,080
Speaker 1: as a person. And I started to think kind of

1089
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 1: like what are all of my strengths? Because I do

1090
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 1: love teaching, but I also I love entertaining, I love storytelling,

1091
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:47,960
Speaker 1: I love public speaking, I love like group dynamics and stuff.

1092
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 1: And so I started to think, like where else could

1093
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 1: I do this work? Because again, I didn't want to

1094
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 1: get credential for teaching, because I feel like if I

1095
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 1: get credentials, they're going to beat this out of me. Basically,

1096
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: like all the things I do that I feel making

1097
01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: a teacher are like a lot of producing programs would

1098
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 1: help you not to do. And so I think I

1099
01:00:07,840 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 1: didn't want to stop working with kids, but there are

1100
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 1: just not that many spaces. There aren't that many opportunities

1101
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 1: to or career paths to work with kids in this

1102
01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 1: way that are not in a school, you know, And

1103
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 1: so I started to think the more and more I

1104
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,919
Speaker 1: saw the impact it was having on kids, the more

1105
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 1: I realized I wanted to do it. On a larger

1106
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 1: scale than that. I wanted to use all of my

1107
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: strengths and all of my talents and all of my

1108
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 1: gifts to do it in a way that works. And like,

1109
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 1: that's not every teacher's goal, and that's cool, but for me,

1110
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 1: it was like, this is my goal. I do want

1111
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: to be a name because when there's a kid out

1112
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 1: there who's in their room and they're hiding in their crime,

1113
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 1: right and they don't have anyone to talk to for

1114
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 1: whatever reason, I want them to know who I am.

1115
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 1: I want them to be able to go to my

1116
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,760
Speaker 1: work okay and to learn and to be like, yeah, this,

1117
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,520
Speaker 1: I'm struggling right now. I need support. Where can I

1118
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 1: go to get this support? I don't know where kids

1119
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: can go. I don't know where to send And so

1120
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 1: I started to say, let me, let me do this

1121
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 1: the best I can on a larger scale. You know,

1122
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:20,640
Speaker 1: So can you tell us about what you're building? Yeah? Yeah,

1123
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 1: So I am working on a kids show and I've

1124
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:27,120
Speaker 1: had a wonderful team who has like volunteered their time

1125
01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 1: and resources which is amazing to kind of help me

1126
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: bring this idea to fruition. But I want to make

1127
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 1: an educational entertainment show for middle schoolers that takes them seriously,

1128
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: that takes them, you know, because there's a lot of

1129
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 1: people are starting to do social emotional learning for kids,

1130
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 1: which is great, but they're starting really young, which is

1131
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 1: really important and I'm super grateful for that. That's super important.

1132
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: But like, I want to talk to middle schoolers because

1133
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 1: I feel like they are just left out all the time,

1134
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 1: and I feel like they need And the thing that

1135
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:01,200
Speaker 1: my kids appreciate about me, I think the most is

1136
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: that I see there that they feel like they can

1137
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,920
Speaker 1: be taken seriously in my space and that like they

1138
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 1: can still be silly, we can have fun. But also

1139
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 1: like I'm going to hold them to high expectations. I'm

1140
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 1: going to help them get there right Like I'm not

1141
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 1: gonna I'm not gonna baby them. I'm not going to

1142
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 1: talk down to them. And they really want to be

1143
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 1: taken seriously. And what I've seen is that when kids

1144
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: are given that opportunity to be lifted up and to

1145
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 1: be supported, they step into these amazing roles in life

1146
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:29,840
Speaker 1: and not just like you know, leader of the school.

1147
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 1: I don't mean, I don't mean just like they step

1148
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:36,280
Speaker 1: into themselves more and I hear kids like being kinder

1149
01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:39,439
Speaker 1: to themselves, and they hear kids advocating for themselves because

1150
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 1: they had a space to do that where someone respected

1151
01:02:41,920 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 1: that and someone saw that. And my my dream is

1152
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,120
Speaker 1: to have a show where kids we can talk about

1153
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 1: these things with kids with kids. I want kid co

1154
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 1: host with me to be doing these having these conversations,

1155
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,840
Speaker 1: having these table talks with me about this work. And

1156
01:02:56,280 --> 01:03:00,040
Speaker 1: because I think that, you know, we're sending really and

1157
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: equipped kids into the most important battle of our species.

1158
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:07,920
Speaker 1: Like times are tough, and they're going to continue to

1159
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 1: get tougher, and the problems that we are talking about

1160
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 1: right now are going to affect these kids as they're older.

1161
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 1: And like you said earlier, like what if all that

1162
01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:20,000
Speaker 1: energy that we spend in our twenties undoing all that harm,

1163
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 1: you know, trying to heal ourselves or what we did

1164
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 1: to ourselves, what others did to us, what society did

1165
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 1: to us, What if that energy could be put towards

1166
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 1: something else. Right, What if we have kids who know

1167
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 1: who they are, who are growing, who are kind to themselves,

1168
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: who can articulate their strengths, who know their values, who

1169
01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: are putting themselves in positions to contribute whatever way it

1170
01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 1: feels good to them, It's going to be a different society.

1171
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 1: And I just feel like, you know, talk about underrepresented populations.

1172
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:52,000
Speaker 1: Kids have no voice in this country, yet youth culture

1173
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:55,280
Speaker 1: is what pushes our culture, you know what I mean.

1174
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,120
Speaker 1: So it's like yeah, yeah, it's like literally it pushes everything.

1175
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,520
Speaker 1: Anytime I hear a person my age talking for about kids,

1176
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, you just didn't know, yes for them. It's

1177
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,160
Speaker 1: interesting because when you talk about the way you use

1178
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:13,920
Speaker 1: culture moves us forward, we are also talking about some

1179
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:17,280
Speaker 1: of the historical things. We want to go back to

1180
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 1: wh you mentioned, you know, where is the modern day

1181
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:24,400
Speaker 1: Mr Rogers Show? Where where is our LaVar Purdon? Where

1182
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 1: is the more? You know? I miss that, you know?

1183
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 1: And and people do refer to you that way. I mean,

1184
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 1: you know you mentioned the intensity after the Today Show,

1185
01:04:35,320 --> 01:04:38,120
Speaker 1: which again God I have so much sympathy for. I'm like, yep,

1186
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 1: get it, been there, um, But you know Hoda was crying,

1187
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 1: like all of these people refer to you as the

1188
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 1: modern day Mr Rogers? Is is that kind of your goal?

1189
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 1: Is the idea to sort of create a kind of

1190
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 1: spiritual succession to two people like him? And and and

1191
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:03,120
Speaker 1: like lava are where you really want to figure out

1192
01:05:03,120 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: what this generation's young kids needs and and fill that need. Yeah,

1193
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:12,000
Speaker 1: I mean, I say Mr Rogers because Mr Rogers was

1194
01:05:12,040 --> 01:05:18,919
Speaker 1: a Youth Advocates testimony. That's what I'm saying. I mean,

1195
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 1: I've watched that video many times. It's so inspiring. I

1196
01:05:24,280 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 1: can't even watch it without because I'm like, that's what

1197
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:29,520
Speaker 1: I want to do. And the reason I say that

1198
01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: to him about him specifically is because there are not

1199
01:05:33,400 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 1: that many people I can point to. There aren't who

1200
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:40,240
Speaker 1: are doing exactly what I want to do. Right. I Also,

1201
01:05:40,680 --> 01:05:43,840
Speaker 1: it's not lost upon me that I'm black and I'm clear,

1202
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:48,160
Speaker 1: and that's huge in it. That's super important in terms

1203
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 1: of representation. And so for me, I say that because

1204
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 1: sometimes it's hard to explain what I want to be,

1205
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,960
Speaker 1: what I want to do, and I'm like, that's what

1206
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:58,840
Speaker 1: I aspired to be, but I also aspired to be

1207
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 1: it as myself authentically. I don't want to be Mr Rogers,

1208
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:04,560
Speaker 1: I want to be Donald for I want to be

1209
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 1: Mr Donovan, Right, but who does the same good work

1210
01:06:08,920 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 1: that he is he did, you know, because we need

1211
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,000
Speaker 1: more youth advo kids And I think that one of

1212
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:15,920
Speaker 1: the things that's been a blessing for me with my

1213
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:19,080
Speaker 1: work is I get to help adults advocate for kids

1214
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,680
Speaker 1: in ways that they didn't know they could, from the

1215
01:06:21,680 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 1: way that we talked to kids, From the way that

1216
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,840
Speaker 1: we talk about kids. You know, yeah, what are what

1217
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 1: are some of those ways? What are ways you wish

1218
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 1: adults knew they could advocate for kids? Apologize? Apologize to kids,

1219
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 1: like when you're wrong or when you make a mistake,

1220
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:41,280
Speaker 1: show them that they deserve to be apologized to, but

1221
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 1: also show them that you can you can make a

1222
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 1: mistake and then own it and be accountable for it.

1223
01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 1: I mean I I say thank you to kids. I wrote.

1224
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 1: I had a kid who would come to class every

1225
01:06:53,720 --> 01:06:55,680
Speaker 1: day and he would offer to help. You don't say

1226
01:06:55,760 --> 01:06:58,520
Speaker 1: how can I help? And the teachers were like, we

1227
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:00,400
Speaker 1: would like to joke about it, because like, oh my

1228
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 1: gosh's like nothing, there's nothing you can do. You're good, buddy,

1229
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 1: And so I started to kind of pay attention to him.

1230
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 1: So I wrote him a really long gratitude letter, and

1231
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 1: he told me that no adult had said thank you

1232
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 1: to him before because in his from his culture, that's

1233
01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:16,160
Speaker 1: just not a practice. They do right, And I was like, okay,

1234
01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 1: well I'm grateful for you. And so he told me

1235
01:07:18,840 --> 01:07:20,560
Speaker 1: how much it meant to him. And then I found

1236
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 1: out his birthday was coming up, so I got all

1237
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 1: his seventh grade and eighth grade teachers to record individual

1238
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,760
Speaker 1: thank you messages to him, and we put it into

1239
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:32,920
Speaker 1: a compilation video and I made it into a YouTube

1240
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:38,480
Speaker 1: private link for him, and he watched it forly several times. Yeah,

1241
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:41,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, he needed to hear it that

1242
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:44,880
Speaker 1: many times to know that he was appreciated. And so

1243
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:48,880
Speaker 1: I think that to two huge things adults can do,

1244
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:53,040
Speaker 1: which is modeling but also just really seeing them as

1245
01:07:53,040 --> 01:07:55,919
Speaker 1: an individual as apologized to kids and thank them, thank

1246
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:58,560
Speaker 1: them for their actions, thank thank them for the impact

1247
01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:01,920
Speaker 1: that they have on us, because they will do that.

1248
01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:04,080
Speaker 1: They will do it back because they will, they will,

1249
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:07,080
Speaker 1: they will feel it. And I think something something I

1250
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: try to tell a lot of my parents who take

1251
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 1: my like who come to my lives and stuff like

1252
01:08:11,040 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: that is if your kids are resistant to it, they

1253
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:17,280
Speaker 1: have years of programming against it. And so like, if

1254
01:08:17,320 --> 01:08:19,439
Speaker 1: you give your kid and gratitude statement and they're weird

1255
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 1: about it, like leave them be. Let it sink in

1256
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 1: let it process, because yeah, teachers are like, I try

1257
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,320
Speaker 1: to do something nice and then the kids didn't like it,

1258
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:30,519
Speaker 1: so I stopped and I was like, it's consistency. You

1259
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,760
Speaker 1: have to prove to them that you're going to show up.

1260
01:08:32,800 --> 01:08:35,280
Speaker 1: You have to prove to them that you're there, like saying,

1261
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,799
Speaker 1: we would see me and these videos having these positive moments.

1262
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 1: But that's that's months of work with these kids, you

1263
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:45,519
Speaker 1: know well, and especially because sometimes the thing you want

1264
01:08:45,560 --> 01:08:49,960
Speaker 1: most in the world, the first time you get it,

1265
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,240
Speaker 1: it's almost like it shuts you down because you're scared

1266
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:57,479
Speaker 1: that it's never gonna happen again. Are you talking about

1267
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:02,040
Speaker 1: my life? You know what, I'm talking about your life,

1268
01:09:02,240 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 1: my life, your kids getting their very first moment of

1269
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:09,960
Speaker 1: gratitude from an adult. It's so scary m hm that

1270
01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:13,040
Speaker 1: you almost won't let it in. And so I think,

1271
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:18,240
Speaker 1: you know, it's a great reminder the consistency that is required.

1272
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you if you had any

1273
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 1: advice for people thinking about getting into teaching your education,

1274
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,800
Speaker 1: and I kind of think that that might be it

1275
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 1: right to be consistent, to prove it to the kids,

1276
01:09:31,160 --> 01:09:33,920
Speaker 1: and I think tell them I just talked to them

1277
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 1: a lot. That's like the most powerful to honest communication

1278
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,920
Speaker 1: with kids. And I think sometimes people will think that

1279
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,400
Speaker 1: I'm like telling kids all my problem Like no, like

1280
01:09:43,479 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 1: their safety, and there's boundaries we have to say. First

1281
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 1: of all, I don't want them to know all my business.

1282
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 1: And second of all, because that's not their job. Their

1283
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:51,680
Speaker 1: job is not to fix my life, right. Their job

1284
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: is not to be my therapist. But at the same time,

1285
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:57,240
Speaker 1: I can show kids my humanity. I can show kids

1286
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 1: I made a mistake and I'm pinning up to it.

1287
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 1: I can show it's apologizing. I can show kids showing gratitude.

1288
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:06,840
Speaker 1: I can show kids lifting up other people, right, and

1289
01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:08,719
Speaker 1: then they and those are the things that you started

1290
01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:11,160
Speaker 1: that I would start to see kids replicate and I

1291
01:10:11,320 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, cool, right when I have a

1292
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:15,519
Speaker 1: teacher stopped me and be like, yo, I just want

1293
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:17,160
Speaker 1: to tell you this kid pulled me after class and

1294
01:10:17,160 --> 01:10:19,360
Speaker 1: gave me some gratitude and I cried and I'm like,

1295
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:21,719
Speaker 1: how was that? And They're like it was really hard

1296
01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 1: for me because I've never done that before. I'm like,

1297
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 1: was it, you know, impactful? Like yeah, it's like did

1298
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:27,680
Speaker 1: you tell the kids? Like no, I'm like well, now

1299
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:30,760
Speaker 1: you can go tell that it was impactful, and then

1300
01:10:30,760 --> 01:10:33,640
Speaker 1: it starts like yeah, it starts this whole cycle and

1301
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:37,479
Speaker 1: and then suddenly their relationship Suddenly it's earth And I

1302
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:40,639
Speaker 1: know three things about this kid. You know, I love that.

1303
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:44,280
Speaker 1: So in the in the meantime, while you're working on

1304
01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:47,439
Speaker 1: developing a show, because I imagine you know, as you're

1305
01:10:47,479 --> 01:10:50,400
Speaker 1: telling me that story about another teacher, I'm like, I

1306
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,040
Speaker 1: know there's a lot of people at home going but

1307
01:10:52,120 --> 01:10:56,000
Speaker 1: where can I tune in now? Where can I learn now? So?

1308
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: So are you you mentioned lives? Are are you doing

1309
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 1: Instagram live right now? Where? Where are you in the

1310
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 1: world that people can can follow along? And then you know,

1311
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:10,880
Speaker 1: eventually watch the show when it's time. So I am

1312
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:15,720
Speaker 1: getting over self doubt and I'm getting over depression and

1313
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:19,520
Speaker 1: I'm getting over all that stuff. And I have amazing

1314
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:24,240
Speaker 1: support from There's like three people named Melsa and Tampa

1315
01:11:24,439 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 1: who and Malory see me for people who have been

1316
01:11:27,880 --> 01:11:34,200
Speaker 1: just my like, um, Angels, you know, we are lifting

1317
01:11:34,200 --> 01:11:36,280
Speaker 1: me up and helping me kind of manage my brain

1318
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:39,479
Speaker 1: and you know, helping me with the logistics and stuff. Um.

1319
01:11:39,520 --> 01:11:41,720
Speaker 1: But in the next coming month, I mean, this is

1320
01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: like my creative renaissance, and so you know, I'm working

1321
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:47,400
Speaker 1: on kids books, are working on my curriculum. I'm working

1322
01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 1: on this platform called Disco where I'm going to be

1323
01:11:49,439 --> 01:11:52,799
Speaker 1: offering classes for parents and teachers who want to support

1324
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:56,719
Speaker 1: kids in this work. Right now, it's Instagram, t talking YouTube.

1325
01:11:57,000 --> 01:11:59,680
Speaker 1: Those are my three kind of biggest areas. But if

1326
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:02,679
Speaker 1: you're if you're someone who's following, like just it's gonna

1327
01:12:02,800 --> 01:12:04,800
Speaker 1: it's gonna explode in the next couple of months. I'm

1328
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:07,080
Speaker 1: really excited to share more stuff with you all. And

1329
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 1: then I do coaching for kids, So that's kind of

1330
01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:12,000
Speaker 1: the one thing that's really anchoring me right now is

1331
01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:15,640
Speaker 1: like having relationships and supporting kids one on one, and

1332
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:17,920
Speaker 1: then that's kind of where I'm at. I mean, i mean,

1333
01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:20,719
Speaker 1: I'm in this phase right now where I'm just trying

1334
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 1: to get exposure. I'm trying to bring this world, like

1335
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,640
Speaker 1: this stuff to as many people and as many platforms

1336
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:30,479
Speaker 1: as I can to kind of like really lifted up,

1337
01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 1: because what I'm seeing is that I'm not I'm not

1338
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:37,479
Speaker 1: like the creator of this work. I'm a facilitator of it.

1339
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:40,559
Speaker 1: And there are so many teachers and parents and people

1340
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:42,479
Speaker 1: who don't even work with kids who want to do

1341
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:45,200
Speaker 1: this work and who feel it so deeply and who

1342
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:47,360
Speaker 1: have reached out and connected with me. And so for me,

1343
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:49,439
Speaker 1: I just want to create eventually. I want to create

1344
01:12:49,600 --> 01:12:52,560
Speaker 1: a network of resources for kids where they know that

1345
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:54,960
Speaker 1: I can go to this page and there's like I

1346
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 1: can learn about finance, as I can learn about mental health,

1347
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,519
Speaker 1: I can learn about you know, physical health. I can

1348
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:03,160
Speaker 1: learn about investing. I can learn about all these different

1349
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:06,960
Speaker 1: things that people are talking about. Um. But I'm trying

1350
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:09,120
Speaker 1: to do it once step of the time. I'm trying

1351
01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:12,160
Speaker 1: not to hold super high expectations for myself right now,

1352
01:13:12,200 --> 01:13:15,320
Speaker 1: but I'm also uh, it's time. It's time to put

1353
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:20,880
Speaker 1: that stuff out there. Yeah, I love that. So what

1354
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:26,840
Speaker 1: would you say, looking at this very full landscape of

1355
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:30,559
Speaker 1: um of blooming that you are in what feels like

1356
01:13:31,120 --> 01:13:35,960
Speaker 1: a work in progress in your life? Oh? Me, me,

1357
01:13:36,840 --> 01:13:41,080
Speaker 1: me um. I think transitioning. I think I've I've created

1358
01:13:41,160 --> 01:13:45,680
Speaker 1: this this next level for myself. And so right now

1359
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:48,960
Speaker 1: I'm doing a lot of letting go and letting it um,

1360
01:13:49,040 --> 01:13:54,040
Speaker 1: letting go of things that don't serve mean that's relationships, behaviors, environments,

1361
01:13:54,760 --> 01:14:01,880
Speaker 1: shifting into accepting support, opportunities, um pushing myself harder and

1362
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:05,080
Speaker 1: healthy and compassionate ways. The work in progress for me

1363
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 1: is healing myself, healing my younger me, so I can

1364
01:14:09,080 --> 01:14:13,200
Speaker 1: really grow into who I want to and need to

1365
01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:15,560
Speaker 1: be in this world. And it doesn't feel like, do

1366
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:20,640
Speaker 1: you know hero's journey story structure then the hero. So

1367
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,280
Speaker 1: for a long time, I felt like, you know, like

1368
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:25,080
Speaker 1: the hero, I mean dragged along by the universe, like

1369
01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:27,280
Speaker 1: almost begrudgingly where I want to do this work, but

1370
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:29,360
Speaker 1: it feels so tough and I'm so depressed and blah

1371
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:31,880
Speaker 1: blah blah, And I feel like recently it's shifted to

1372
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:34,440
Speaker 1: like choose your own, like start your own adventure story

1373
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:36,479
Speaker 1: where I'm the hero and that's getting up and putting

1374
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:39,040
Speaker 1: his back back on and going out into the world

1375
01:14:39,560 --> 01:14:41,800
Speaker 1: ready to take on challenges. And so that I'm trying

1376
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:44,360
Speaker 1: to kind of hold space for that transition because it's

1377
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 1: different and it's tough, but it's very necessary. Absolutely. I

1378
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:54,040
Speaker 1: think there's a really important lesson even in what you

1379
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:58,200
Speaker 1: just said, the idea of the reluctancy that being dragged

1380
01:14:59,040 --> 01:15:02,040
Speaker 1: if if you still had all the things tethering you

1381
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:09,800
Speaker 1: two before you'd be dragging, so the floating, the sort

1382
01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 1: of freedom is really necessary for you to just have

1383
01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:16,080
Speaker 1: a backpack and go. Yeah, and it's it's tough. I

1384
01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:18,920
Speaker 1: feel like I'm starting from level one, but I mean

1385
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:22,080
Speaker 1: it's beautiful. How lucky you am I to be in

1386
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:24,519
Speaker 1: this position. How lucky am I to have the freedom

1387
01:15:24,680 --> 01:15:27,320
Speaker 1: to do these things in my life? You know, that's

1388
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:31,280
Speaker 1: the gratitude. I'm sorry, I gotta go to my gratitude

1389
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:32,800
Speaker 1: practice after this. I love it.