WEBVTT - Joy 101: Henry Winkler 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:13.560 Okay, So I have had the privilege of interviewing a 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.280 ton of people over the years, and there's one name 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:21.960 that pops up, and I know that my heart and 0:00:22.040 --> 0:00:26.920 soul are going to be filled by what this person says. Now, 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:28.400 I'm not going to reveal who it is in this 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.600 very second, but I'm going to tell you about him. 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:34.720 This is a guy who grew up in a very 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:38.960 difficult childhood. In fact, he said when he would leave 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:41.560 his room to go out into the living room or 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:45.159 the kitchen, he called it a war zone. His parents 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:49.519 basically called him an idiot or a dumb dog. They 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:54.280 thought he was stupid. These are his words, and in reality, 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.920 he was struggling with dyslexia. But at that time people 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:00.840 didn't know from dyslexia. They just thought their kid wasn't smart. Now, 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:04.240 imagine yourself for a minute growing up in that kind 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.120 of an environment where you're getting pounded on and pounded 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.080 on and pounded on every day with this you know, 0:01:10.120 --> 0:01:13.120 with your not good enough, you're stupid over and over 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:14.959 and over. What do you think would happen with your 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.640 life like what happens to a kid like that? Well, 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:22.800 I would imagine probably the worst a kid who to 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:26.920 this day doesn't who's now a grown adult who When 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:29.080 to ask the question, how did you know your parents 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.920 loved you, he says, I don't know. From that place, 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:39.160 this person found joy that we can all dream of having. 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.120 This is a person when you hear where he is today, 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:45.080 you will say, oh my gosh, I want to live 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:48.240 like he lives. He's full of optimism, He's brimming with 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:52.800 hope and love and curiosity and all the things that 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:58.160 life's about. He has that in him. He's proof of 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.720 the phrase where you start does not define where you finish. 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.120 So if you're going through a difficult time or you're 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.000 in a terrible circumstance and you think, is joy possible 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:11.520 for me? It is. The man who I'm describing to 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:15.760 you is Henry Winkler. You guys know him from playing 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:19.360 the Fonds on Happy Days. He also won his very 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:23.000 first Emmy in his seventies for playing the role in 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:28.560 the show Barry. He is a delight. He gives away 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:32.720 all of his goodness and compliments and love, and that's 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.040 why his cup stays full. If you want to know 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.600 the secret to where Henry Winkler finds joy and how 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:42.239 he keeps it going every day. You're going to want 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.280 to take note during this podcast. All right, guys, here's 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:50.440 Henry Winkler. So Henry, as we get started, the first 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.840 thing I have to say to you is because I 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:54.960 just watched it again, So I'm going to say the 0:02:54.960 --> 0:03:02.840 word again. Your commencement address at Emerson. Wow, now stop it. 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:07.280 I mean, I know you, I love you. But something 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.960 about that ten minutes, twelve minutes, fourteen minutes, whatever you 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:16.480 did standing before those students was electrifying. Wow. Will you 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:22.360 tell me about that moment on stage? Because it seemed 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:25.799 it just seemed like in a different class. 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:29.600 I went to Emerson. They were the only college that 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.480 said yes to me out of the twenty eight that 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:40.800 I applied to. I had great four years there. I 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:45.200 am now eighty years old, and the things I learned 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:50.800 that I wish someone had told me. I wanted those 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:55.680 young people to know. I did not want to say 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:02.280 you're our future, it's up to you now. I wanted 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:07.520 to say, you are everything you want to be, and 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:11.800 it's in you, and now your job is to give 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:12.800 it to the world. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.919 You know what's awesome, Henry about you? Someone asked me, 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:20.400 I was in actually a leadership session with somebody, and 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:23.880 someone said, tell me your life in eight minutes. Tell 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:25.840 me your whole life in eight minutes. Nothing you know, 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:30.200 so you hit like in my case, I hit the highlights. 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.480 What were the highlights to me? My parents were immigrants. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:37.080 I got rejected twenty seven times before my first job. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:39.599 My kid, you know, you list all the things, and 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.920 I thought, in that speech, you sort of did something similar. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:48.280 I didn't realize number one, that you had to squeak 0:04:48.320 --> 0:04:51.000 by with that D minus just to get into Emerson. 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:54.200 What was the subject? What was the what was the 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.080 tripping point? Geometry? 0:04:56.600 --> 0:05:01.120 But that is only one of the subjects I failed at. Really, 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:08.080 it's no joke, you know, I couldn't. I saw my 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:14.720 life as at a cylinder of stainless steel with no handholds, 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:18.520 no footholds, and I tried to pull myself out into 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:25.640 the sun, and I slipped until I was twenty seven. 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:29.360 I took a chance and left New York, went to Hollywood, 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:35.320 tried out for Happy Days, had six lines, and my 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:36.440 life exploded. 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:39.839 I want to go back because when I think of 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:43.280 someone who's an actor, I think of someone who is confident. 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:47.000 I would think of someone who's all their childhood goodness 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.120 was poured into them so that they could get up 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:52.159 in front of other people in face rejection. They were strong. 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.000 Your childhood was not that. Your childhood was the opposite 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:57.800 of that. 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:01.159 That is that is true? Oh, here it is. That's 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:06.760 what I learned. You just have to go and dig 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:12.280 deep because it is in you already. You don't need that. 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:15.960 Although that is lovely, let me say, I mean, there 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:18.560 are people who talk to me in the airport, on 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:22.200 the street, in the airplane, in the new country, in 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:28.880 the anywhere, and it feels amazing. But your power is 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:35.120 there is It comes with you as you come into 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:39.599 the world with these tiny little fingers that grow in fierce, 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:42.359 tiny little fingers. 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.919 I like that. I was listening to you with Michelle Obama, 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:50.120 which by the way, was also beautiful, And I'd heard 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.679 you describe your childhood, but I never heard you describe 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:55.200 it this way. You said, when you stepped out of 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.200 your room, it felt like a war zone. What did 0:06:58.240 --> 0:06:59.960 that mean? 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:06.080 Okay? So oh, On the one hand, I really do understand. 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:11.520 My parents came from Nazi Germany. They left everything behind. 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:18.160 They started a new life, they a new language, a job, 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:25.000 they gave us, my sister and I a life. But 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:34.400 somewhere in that journey, their psyche was beaten to a pulp. 0:07:35.080 --> 0:07:39.960 And every time I left my room, opened the door, 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:42.760 to walk to the kitchen, to walk to the living room, 0:07:43.840 --> 0:07:52.280 it was chaos. It was damage to it was an attack. 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:57.160 What was So's mean? Scary? Horrible about walking out there? 0:07:57.160 --> 0:07:57.840 What do you mean? 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:03.280 They did not? I now understand. As a parent, you 0:08:03.440 --> 0:08:09.040 hear your child, you see your child, you just step 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:13.240 back and look at this human being who didn't ask 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.119 to be here. You gave birth to that human being, 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:20.600 and you look at them and they are clear. My 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:27.760 parents had no vision. They had no child vision. I 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:32.959 was supposed to be, I was bred to be. I didn't. 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:37.720 I was an embarrassment. I didn't do well in school. 0:08:38.559 --> 0:08:43.120 Oh could you do this? I speak eleven languages? Oh really, dad? 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:49.400 Well that's hey, good for you, because dyslexia is hereditarian. 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:50.720 You passed it on. 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:56.719 But hey, but so you didn't know. For people who 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.440 don't know this, you didn't know you were dyslexic. You 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:02.880 just thought you weren't doing Yeah, God, that's the strong word. 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:06.440 What did your dad call you? Which? Man? 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:07.360 I'm dog? 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:09.120 Wow. 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:15.080 Yeah, And they're no joking. I mean they literally Look, 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:22.200 I take all of the total of the achievement and 0:09:22.240 --> 0:09:27.840 the courage and the pain of my parents. What I 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:33.200 cannot abide is what I just said. You see the 0:09:33.360 --> 0:09:35.959 child in front of you. You might not be able 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:39.360 to define the problem, you might not be able to 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:44.640 fix the problem, but you know there's a problem, and 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:51.040 then you act accordingly. I see you're in trouble. I'm 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:57.760 going to try and make your moment easier. Not you 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:01.520 go to your oom. You're going to not and you're 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:02.720 going to get geometry. 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.079 Who who was there for you, Henry during that time? 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:08.560 Who was the person me? 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:17.400 Oh, I don't I don't remember anybody. I don't remember. 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.960 I never had real grandparents. I never had a lot 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:24.320 of auntswer or uncles because they were all taken. There 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:29.320 is a plant in my garden that is a spider plant, 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:35.160 and that spider plant was on our window sill cuttings, 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:39.640 and that original spider plant came out of Germany into 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:45.880 a coffin at the feet of Anna Kulmann, my faux aunt. 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:49.760 But she was smuggled out of Germany in a coffin, 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.760 and we all had cuttings. I took a cutting when 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:58.319 I came here to California. It's in my garden, it's 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:06.720 in my children's garden, and it just keeps rejuvenating, which 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:11.960 is one of the lessons I learned in life. 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:16.120 So you squeak through high school, you make it to Emerson. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.760 Did things start clicking at Emerson? 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:24.920 No, not there either, Sophomore, I'm my major is theorem. 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:28.440 My dreams to be an actor. I talk about it, 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:32.560 I dream it, I lie awake at night. I and 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:35.600 I went into my class because that's half of me. 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:40.160 The other half is Oh, mister Sensenbach, I'm so sorry. 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.439 I'm going to try something new. I'm going to read 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:47.719 the Shakespearean scene and acted at the same time. And 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:50.040 he said, not in my class, You're not You were 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.440 supposed to memorize it. I was kicked out of my major. 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.000 Oh no, So then what happened? 0:11:57.960 --> 0:11:59.040 I talked my way back in. 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:02.440 Of course you did? Of course you did? So did 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.840 was memorization? I know reading was impossible? Was memorization hard 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:08.760 to okay? 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:10.880 So the way I figured that out? So God giveth 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.760 and God taketh away, So I can't read? You know? 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.920 My joke is the Tale of True Cities. You know. 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:24.280 I read the cover and it's not even a joke. 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:33.160 So if I read it slowly, I eventually could rub 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.920 the script on my body and it would go in. 0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:43.520 I had this amazing ability. When I auditioned. I would 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.320 I would memorize as much as I could go in. 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:49.040 And when I got to the end of what I memorized, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:56.120 I improvised ah, and they said, excuse me, that's not what 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.480 we wrote. And I said, I'm giving you the essence 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.160 of the care character. If I get it, I'll do 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:03.240 it verbatim. 0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:05.880 If I get it, I'll do is that what happened 0:13:05.880 --> 0:13:07.240 with the Fawns and Happy Days? 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:13.520 Everybody everywhere? Max? Who is that? Our youngest son. The 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:17.040 director was here when I was going over my audition 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:22.439 for Barry, and he directed me in my audition and 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:26.520 I started to have lib and he said, Dad, respect 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:31.400 the writermation point. 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:35.760 Okay, I want to hear about Barry. I want to 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:37.640 hear about all that. I want to hear about Happy 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:40.800 Days though, So you go in this character Fawns has 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:42.000 how many lines? You said? 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:42.560 Six? 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.520 Six? So he wasn't supposed to be anybody but somebody 0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:46.720 who dipped in and dipped out. 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:47.600 That's right. 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.719 So when you go in for the audition, or when 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:52.920 you go in for whatever, what do the what is 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.000 the director? What do they want you to do? 0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:00.000 I go in and there are eleven people in the room. 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:04.360 Marshall ed, milchis Tom Miller, the three the triumphrant who 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:10.160 created happy Days. And I the greatest thing that happened 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:15.520 to me is as scared as I was in my life. 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:21.880 I had the courage in my professional life, and I 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:28.720 merely changed my voice, and that unleashed, I was able 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:33.400 to do anything that came to my mind. So I 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:37.920 took the six lines and just played with them and 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:40.640 threw the script up in the air and sunt it 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:44.840 out of the room. And Gary Marshall said, he's the guy. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:48.080 What happened with I mean, one thing that we know 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.480 of Fonds. I don't know if this was in the 0:14:50.640 --> 0:14:53.400 in the auditional was the calm. It was always like 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:54.560 looking at himself. 0:14:55.120 --> 0:15:01.440 That was again that was an improvisation. So it's the 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:06.560 first day. First I'm reading. Now you remember I'm I'm 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.800 a trained actor and I'm reading the script and I 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:13.800 can't make the joke work, and I start hitting the script. 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:17.920 I can't do this. What is this? And I'm twenty seven? 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.160 Well on how it is eighteen? He puts his arm 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:25.960 around me, walks me to the back of soundstage twenty 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:30.960 four on Paramount Lot and said, you know they're working 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:34.440 as hard as they can. Let's not hit our script. 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.720 That our run I've I'll never get my scribbt as 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:45.280 long as I live. I scripped it that now it says, 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.800 go to the mirror, comb your hair. I walked to 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:53.320 the director mil Ferber, who did the pilot. I said, listen, sir, 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:57.680 I will do anything, but every actor who has played 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:02.520 my part has combed his hair. The I need to 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:06.520 be original. I will do anything, write anything, and I 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.800 will figure it out. He said. Produce a rope, go 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.520 to the Mira comb your hair. Go to that merracomb 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:17.520 your hair. We'll walk to the mirror. Pull out my comb. 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:22.000 Look at that, man, it's perfect. That on the comet 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:24.760 and I lit and they kept it in and it 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:28.400 defined Fonsie for ten years. 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:32.280 Wow. Wow, Wow. You just trusted your gut. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:35.120 You did you have you? That's the answer. That is 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.520 the answer. If there are any actors out there you're 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:42.040 not hired. Just to fill time and space that you're 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:46.880 hired to fill the space with you. They're looking for you. 0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:50.080 They don't even know what they want. Yeah, you have 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.400 something in your in your guts. You go with it. 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:56.200 What you can either be right, you could be wrong, 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.000 or how do you know, go for it? 0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.960 Ooh, I love that. I love that advice. Were you prepared? 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.560 I mean the fame of I mean people still reference 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.280 happy days even to this moment. 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:13.200 You're absolutely right, No, I and here's what I figured 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:18.320 out or for me anyway, I don't think the brilliant 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:26.800 of the brain in its inception, however, we evolved that 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:33.520 fame was programmed as part of the living experience. It 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:39.720 is so alien to living. It is so out of 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:45.840 the of the program, of the the adventure, the essence 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:50.840 of being alive. You have got to take an instant 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:53.840 course at staying the course. 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.080 So what did fame do to you? 0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:04.600 Initially because caause, honest to God, because I am so dyslexic, 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:08.960 I had no sense of self. So when people were 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:13.200 talking to me, I kept on looking, who are they 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:16.080 talking to? They can't it can't be me. I know 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:19.600 who I am. I know that I failed at everything, 0:18:22.359 --> 0:18:26.639 So it never got it in. It just kept going 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:31.399 by me. Except I knew I don't have to stand 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.119 online in the range for the movies. I could go 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.199 to the manager and say, sir or ma'am, could I 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:40.200 just come in so I don't have to sign on autographs? 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.480 And I got to buy my popcorn first. 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:48.280 So did your dad and mom come around? When were 0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.399 they around to see that? And did they think you 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:51.600 had taken the right path? 0:18:56.600 --> 0:19:02.040 You would think I was mature. They never came around. 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:07.199 They came around for themselves. They came around to My 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:11.320 joke is my mother walks into a store and goes, yeah, 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:14.720 I exist less, Oh exist less. It's very nice here, 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:21.240 and Fansi's mother. And that is the I swear to you. 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:28.679 That's the microcosm of very embracing. Not isn't it wonderful? 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:37.280 It's I hear you. How did you know that they 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:38.000 loved you? Then? 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:42.640 That is a question I am still working on. 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.320 Oh okay, I. 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:52.400 Have no idea. I swore to Stacy that I would 0:19:52.480 --> 0:20:01.640 be an entirely different parent, and I know this. The 0:20:01.720 --> 0:20:07.000 most important thing is to see who's in front of you, 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:15.119 and a herd child is powerful. I listened to whatever 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.360 my children had to say and if they were right, 0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:22.920 instead of say because I said so, I went, oh 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:25.439 my god, okay, I'm going to do that from now on. 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:27.439 All right, that's going to be from now. 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:27.760 No. 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:30.720 I don't think I can live with that, but great idea. 0:20:31.600 --> 0:20:35.760 That's wow. Was that hard because you parent most people 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.280 at least, even though they try to do what you're describing, 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:40.960 they fall back because they know what they know. 0:20:42.080 --> 0:20:46.320 Yes, but here it is my parents flew out of 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:50.600 my mouth and I would hear myself and I was, 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.200 that is not what I meant to say. Okay, I'm 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.800 going to start again. Mm hmm, this is what I 0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:04.200 meant to say. Or the children would walk in and 0:21:05.840 --> 0:21:09.280 I would go, I wouldn't talk to me right now. 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.120 I mean, I'm just it's here. Yeah, I'm gonna come 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.800 right out of here. So yeah, and then they were 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:20.720 And then children are so smart. They walk in, they 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.400 size me up. Here, you'll see your lady. 0:21:24.720 --> 0:21:27.119 Did you meet Stacy during the happy days days? 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:27.760 I did? 0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:29.240 Yeah, how'd you guys meet? 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:32.080 I made enough money to buy my own sport coats. 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:38.720 So there was like this very fancy Italian men's clothing 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:44.359 store on Rodeo drive and I this beautiful woman in 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:47.240 front of me, and I held up two jackets. Excuse 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.119 me which one? And I should have known there was 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:53.400 a problem because she said both. And I'm too practical 0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:56.600 to buy two if I need one. All right, I 0:21:56.680 --> 0:22:00.760 go back the next week she's there. I said, a 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:07.200 porture there because she said, I work here. Then I said, 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:11.480 you want a sodada soda? We went down to the 0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:20.080 Willshire Hotel at the end of Rodeo and had a 0:22:20.200 --> 0:22:23.400 a soda. And I just bought my first house. And 0:22:23.520 --> 0:22:28.680 Carol Schlanger, who was in my acting class. Her husband Clint, 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:32.880 was an architect and he redid the house and it's 0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:36.639 now done. And I said, you want to see my house? 0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:40.120 I have no one to show it to and she said, 0:22:40.160 --> 0:22:43.760 of course. Excuse me for a minute, left the room, 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:48.840 left the area, the luncheon area, called her mother. She said, 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:50.679 this is where I'm going. If anything happens, you know 0:22:50.720 --> 0:22:51.560 exactly where I am. 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:56.959 I ready And was that it does? That all it 0:22:57.000 --> 0:22:58.760 took you guys walking around the house. 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:02.120 Swear to God because she had to leave. She had 0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:06.880 a date. Yeah, but we talked about a book ordinary 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:12.359 people and boss gags and I had not heard of 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:14.520 either of them. I'm not a reader, first of all, 0:23:14.560 --> 0:23:17.600 and my music is very specific. I never heard of 0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:22.199 Bosscast at the time. This was nineteen seventy five ish. 0:23:22.359 --> 0:23:25.199 And the next morning I get up, I go to 0:23:25.280 --> 0:23:29.359 my car and in the front seat is ordinary people 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:33.240 and Boss gags. How did she get into my car? 0:23:33.920 --> 0:23:38.239 But that's the question I haven't answered. I called her 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:43.639 rop it was busy. I called her back. It was busy. 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:46.879 I called her every ten minutes for twenty four hours 0:23:46.880 --> 0:23:49.720 because I'm a moron, and she took the phone off 0:23:49.760 --> 0:23:50.120 the hook. 0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:52.520 And then so then what happened? You caught up with her? 0:23:52.840 --> 0:23:55.119 I caught up with her. Well, we waw movies and 0:23:55.160 --> 0:23:59.080 we saw walk About Nick Rose, walk About, the Australian 0:24:00.240 --> 0:24:02.840 film about the Kids and the Aboriginals. 0:24:02.960 --> 0:24:06.240 And this podcast Henry's called Joy one oh one. It's 0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:08.280 all about that. When you speak about your wife, even 0:24:08.280 --> 0:24:11.880 when you say your wife's name, your eyes tell the story. 0:24:11.960 --> 0:24:14.600 It's just a flash and there it is. So tell 0:24:14.600 --> 0:24:17.240 me about the joy and relationships, like what has what 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:19.200 has she brought to your life? 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:27.199 A groundedness, a power, a clarity Whether I wanted to 0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:32.080 hear it or not, I was at one time so closed. 0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:37.840 What I my metaphor is that the top of my 0:24:38.080 --> 0:24:43.160 forehead is soldered shut. And you know, you pour cream 0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:46.879 into your coffee and you see it turn color and 0:24:46.960 --> 0:24:51.560 it swirls. If it's in a glass, I would pour 0:24:52.119 --> 0:25:00.480 and nothing, no swirl and food. Just I had a 0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:07.200 p tuna sandwich in my refrigerat in my first apartment. 0:25:09.000 --> 0:25:13.360 That was it. An ambrosia salad. Two boxes of almonden 0:25:13.520 --> 0:25:18.680 wine for guests because I don't drink red and white. 0:25:19.560 --> 0:25:27.280 And she just opened me open. I just heard the 0:25:27.320 --> 0:25:35.000 wisest thing about a relationship. You cannot just fall in 0:25:35.080 --> 0:25:42.320 love one time to the woman who is your partner. 0:25:43.720 --> 0:25:50.800 She changes with birth, with life, with age, with loss, 0:25:51.520 --> 0:25:58.200 with everything that goes on. Have to rediscover her every 0:25:58.359 --> 0:26:01.240 time you are doomed. 0:26:02.080 --> 0:26:06.280 What's what's this current version like for you, Stacy? 0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:10.000 Yeah, oh, separate homes. It's really worth. 0:26:14.520 --> 0:26:16.520 You're funny. She is. 0:26:17.960 --> 0:26:25.880 Strong and just wonderful and sometimes a little too clear. 0:26:26.400 --> 0:26:28.560 A little too clear, I like, I don't like her. 0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:30.360 To soften it up a little bit. 0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:33.680 Just to touch. So you have this incredible role. Everybody 0:26:33.720 --> 0:26:35.480 knows you. You're probably one of the most famous people 0:26:35.520 --> 0:26:39.600 in America with the character of the Fawnds. And after that, 0:26:39.720 --> 0:26:42.399 you would imagine or I would have that. You know, 0:26:42.520 --> 0:26:45.240 you had to beat back offers. They're there. You know, 0:26:45.440 --> 0:26:47.240 I can only be in one place at one time. 0:26:47.400 --> 0:26:50.919 Blah blah blah. But what happened to your career as 0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:54.840 a result of that kind of role defining character. 0:26:56.000 --> 0:26:59.439 Well, I'll tell you. Let's go that it ended in 0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:07.040 nineteen eighty three. In two thousand and three, two two 0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:11.960 thousand and two, I came back to la having done 0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:17.920 Broadway for nine months, and Neil Simon play My Dream 0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:24.040 is John Ritter Our dream? Len carry You? Oh my god. 0:27:24.160 --> 0:27:27.480 It was just I couldn't get hired. 0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:29.560 Couldn't get hired, why. 0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:34.880 Since it ended? Happy Days ended in nineteen eighty three. 0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:40.440 He is so funny, he is so good, lovely, lovely guy. 0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:45.320 But he was the funds. I went to a friend. 0:27:45.800 --> 0:27:48.639 I said, I'm having real trouble. I can't get hired. 0:27:48.920 --> 0:27:52.760 He said, write books for children about your learning challenge. Biz. 0:27:55.680 --> 0:28:00.360