Speaker 1: Welcome to can'tfley Reckless? The production of Ieheart Radio and
Speaker 1: the Black Effects Oh Ship were back on the air.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to got another carefully reckless episode with your
Speaker 1: girl Jess hilarious. I'm here with Taylor. Say hi to Taylor, y'all,
Speaker 1: and Taylor say hi back. I'm excited because you said
Speaker 1: everybody damn heavy with the crack you had sold everybody
Speaker 1: all right now? Because I was raised, I mean, pull
Speaker 1: your motherfucker pants up. It's one thing worse than seeing
Speaker 1: like a dark skin crack, a fucking light skin crack.
Speaker 2: I hate it.
Speaker 1: A child what anyway, But I am so happy because
Speaker 1: Taylor is pregnant and she's having a boy. I'm so excited,
Speaker 1: and I listen, I'm excited because two things. It's just
Speaker 1: another baby, and I'm just I just love babies.
Speaker 2: And then I never thought Taylor would have a kid.
Speaker 1: This girl was over here, tried just a year ago
Speaker 1: when I was pregnant, going through it, trying to figure
Speaker 1: out an invention where a baby can be born. No,
Speaker 1: a baby can be carried inside of an incubator. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like, yes, you feel like women shouldn't have
Speaker 1: to carry for so long.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, I still stand on that.
Speaker 1: And but what were the reasons why, guys, listener, somebody
Speaker 1: look at Where were the reasons why? I say, because
Speaker 1: I feel like it's twenty twenty five and we should
Speaker 1: still be able to, like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, if you want to live our lives like drink.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I don't know, I should have like to
Speaker 1: sacrifice your whole body for nine months, you know, like in.
Speaker 2: A sense, I like that. Oh I've been I've been sober.
Speaker 1: I yeah, it's South cold Turkey, absolutely, But at the
Speaker 1: same time, it's like you still feel like yo, with
Speaker 1: all of the high tech knowledgy that we got and
Speaker 1: all the medicine, everything evolved, Like why the hell isn't
Speaker 1: there some type of alternative to being pregnant? And I'm
Speaker 1: not even this same Like I still I like the experience,
Speaker 1: Like I just wanted to be where it's like.
Speaker 2: All right, for a couple of hours, I can just
Speaker 2: put in an incubator.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, oh god, So like PAULI, yeah, I
Speaker 1: feel like I swear you.
Speaker 2: I thought that it was funny last year.
Speaker 1: I think it's funny now hearing this girl explaining shit
Speaker 1: and she is their serious smart way oh, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I really feel that this is just see so much
Speaker 1: other technology.
Speaker 2: I just don't to say why it can't happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, when the technology said, I definitely do
Speaker 1: understand it because I'm like, yo, y'all, Yeah, y'all got
Speaker 1: a lot of shit, like it's a lot of different
Speaker 1: shit happening. Why haven't why haven't this been already?
Speaker 2: No, it's what is it when officially.
Speaker 1: Another person inside of you? I believe it can be
Speaker 1: done by there are certain things that women have. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, big mag with me my Oreo cookies,
Speaker 1: y'all listen. After the surgery, I'm trying to watch what
Speaker 1: the fuck I eat and everything, thank you, And no
Speaker 1: I did not have a BBO, but I'm trying to
Speaker 1: watch what the fuck I eat, y'all. But I wanted
Speaker 1: some Orio cookies so bad, and I just feel like.
Speaker 2: I'm being told.
Speaker 1: I'm being told because the Orioles is so good. But
Speaker 1: we have a story.
Speaker 2: Is this another one of your up friends or.
Speaker 1: Sorry I'm so blunt about it, but whatever, Okay, so
Speaker 1: this is just somebody that wrote us.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, and it's gonna read.
Speaker 1: Oh lord, hold up before you start, yo, are you
Speaker 1: gonna be like me not fucking trying to read?
Speaker 2: Yo? Remember I was pregnant and overritt and I was like,
Speaker 2: I ain't reading Tale, and please come read Taylor in
Speaker 2: a minute. In a few months, how far are you boo?
Speaker 2: So you four months? So she's sixteen.
Speaker 1: Weeks yo, and like us, in two more months, maybe
Speaker 1: even one, she would be like, Josh, I don't feel
Speaker 1: like help.
Speaker 2: You took somebody's mess.
Speaker 1: The thought I'll feel you, girl. I can't wait till
Speaker 1: you get me anyway. Anyway, what is the story, Hey, Jess,
Speaker 1: what's up? I'm a listener from Philly. I've been with
Speaker 1: my man for going on six years now. Though our
Speaker 1: relationship we struggle to keep a place. He's a break
Speaker 1: he's a breadwinner, and I'm part time student and stay
Speaker 1: at home mom. We made our roads for marriage long
Speaker 1: before we got married. Before or sorry, however, we won't budge.
Speaker 1: He won't budge and let me switch to help him out. Recently,
Speaker 1: I had foot surgery, so I haven't been able to
Speaker 1: even work if I wanted to just start physical therapy.
Speaker 1: Long story short, my son and I are living with
Speaker 1: my mom since I had surgery. We lost our place
Speaker 1: last year. They lost their place last year after she
Speaker 1: had surgery. Yes, dagn okay, and she won't let him
Speaker 1: move in.
Speaker 2: Oh, I guess like her man move in? That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Since then, he's been gambling a lot more and not
Speaker 1: even trying to go into a shelter or save money
Speaker 1: up for a place.
Speaker 2: What do I do?
Speaker 1: I love him, but my sons is four years old.
Speaker 1: I'm only twenty four. I can't deal with drama anymore.
Speaker 2: What why her mom is not letting her man move
Speaker 2: in with them? Okay, so she lives with her mom.
Speaker 2: First of all, she's from Philly, so d d d DA.
Speaker 2: But what girl, that's a red flag bitch? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: All right, So she's from the inner city streets of
Speaker 1: Philly and she lives with mother. Yeah, she had have
Speaker 1: surgery after you lost it at first?
Speaker 2: Please.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But they're already together though, and she made boyfriend
Speaker 1: for six years.
Speaker 2: It's a long before we got married. So why are
Speaker 2: you not letting him move in? He must be on drugs.
Speaker 2: It has to be like some something that's keeping that.
Speaker 2: It has to be like, uh, you know, let him
Speaker 2: move in?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he might he may have some type of
Speaker 1: addiction or he may still or something. It gotta be
Speaker 1: something that's stopping that because you are this is your husband.
Speaker 2: This is not just that you deal with.
Speaker 1: Okay, but but just to clarify, she do live with
Speaker 1: her mother, right, okay, she lives with her mom.
Speaker 2: He won't like what is the gist? This is like
Speaker 2: a lot going on here? What is she? What does
Speaker 2: she wants to know what to do? Because he hasn't
Speaker 2: a gambling problem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's been going and not even trying to He's
Speaker 1: not even trying to go to a shelter, so he's
Speaker 1: been homeless on the street.
Speaker 2: This is your husband. Yeah, and he at move in
Speaker 2: with you? You said no, not her, but the mother. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it must be.
Speaker 1: I love him, but my son is four years old.
Speaker 1: I'm trying four. I can't deal with anyone drama. If
Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. She's twenty four, her son is
Speaker 1: what four years old? Can't deal with no drama? And
Speaker 1: she had surgery on her foot, That's.
Speaker 2: What it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But then it's like he said, he's the breadwinner.
Speaker 1: This is so confusing, So how did he ended up bad?
Speaker 1: So maybe he was the bread winner because he has
Speaker 1: a gambling problem. You know, when they update up, but
Speaker 1: when they lose, they lose, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So maybe he was he had a streak of winning,
Speaker 1: and so he was the breadwinner or one point and
Speaker 1: then he got pushed back and my fucking casino bitters.
Speaker 2: As you know, well they said it says to our relationship.
Speaker 2: We struggle to keep a police too. So so no
Speaker 2: stability whatsoever.
Speaker 1: And the mom is probably more than likely like, nah, no,
Speaker 1: you won't come in this motherfucker and move you off me.
Speaker 1: You can barely take care of your family when you
Speaker 1: know they're basically you're the reason why my daughter and.
Speaker 2: My grand chall got to move back in with me,
Speaker 2: Like the fuck.
Speaker 1: So no, But it's definitely deeper than what she's telling
Speaker 1: us with between her mom and him, it's some other
Speaker 1: ship that's going on too.
Speaker 2: Damn. Just pray for Philly because I.
Speaker 1: Mean, I mean, how she thought about getting a job, yeah,
Speaker 1: but then she can't walk, right, I mean, it's not that's.
Speaker 2: Not gonna be forever. Now there's job, you can stay
Speaker 2: at home and do it. Damn. But it's like her marriage.
Speaker 2: Look at that and then that's the little boy's dad.
Speaker 1: And is this camp located when you got kids, like
Speaker 1: when you have a kid and you're not just boyfriend
Speaker 1: or girlfriend like y'all, motherfucker's really married, and shit, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: That sucks.
Speaker 1: The first time I have been able to give the
Speaker 1: mother fucking advice tell you that, because it's a lot
Speaker 1: of moving parts to it, I can we can definitely
Speaker 1: suggest that she finds a job of her own. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to tell her about her husband, though, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, she has to number one,
Speaker 1: be thinking about that baby, Like, get yourself in shape
Speaker 1: mentally and physically so you can take care of your
Speaker 1: little boy. I know your mom, although you are her daughter,
Speaker 1: she don't want you to live in our house forever, obviously,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You grown, and so until
Speaker 1: you get on your back on your feet, you know,
Speaker 1: and you gain that stability and that independence, mommy gonna
Speaker 1: be right there. But yeah, you still have a responsibility,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, to be a grown, grown woman,
Speaker 1: be a parent, Get the fucked back out. You know.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry about your husband though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she's definitely gonna need some therapy too, because
Speaker 1: this does seem like a lot of drama, Like, just
Speaker 1: look at the whole story. It just is they've always
Speaker 1: struggled to keep a place, Like come on, then, she's
Speaker 1: too young.
Speaker 2: To be going through this.
Speaker 1: She's doing four, She gonna definitely need some fucking therapyst
Speaker 1: some type of shit. But the fact that she is
Speaker 1: so young, girl, I'm gonna tell you that you're going
Speaker 1: through this now your thirties, You're gonna be solid, You're
Speaker 1: gonna be great.
Speaker 2: She's probably like six more years, but trust me, listen,
Speaker 2: listen to what I'm telling you. This shit is going
Speaker 2: to frame who you are going to be in your thirties.
Speaker 1: All of this type shit is what makes us so
Speaker 1: fucking strong and resilient as women. So I'm sorry about
Speaker 1: your marriage, but apparently, baby, that ain't the one. Moving
Speaker 1: on now, Taylor, take your time.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Okay, Hey, yess what's up?
Speaker 1: So? I lost my son a year and a half
Speaker 1: ago during labor. He was four days away from his
Speaker 1: due date. I was devastated and I'm still traumatized. My
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I are unfortunately going through a breakup. We
Speaker 1: didn't make it through the grief. God knows if maybe
Speaker 1: we will work things out in the future. But I
Speaker 1: just turned thirty three, and I'm afraid to wait to
Speaker 1: try again. But at the same time, I'm carefu to
Speaker 1: try again and I don't want to rush it. I
Speaker 1: have an appointment to go for a consultation about getting
Speaker 1: my eggs frozen, but I'm also wondering if I should
Speaker 1: just go ahead and get a sperm donnor and have
Speaker 1: my baby alone, or consider in the future using my
Speaker 1: frozen eggs. The thought of doing it a loan is
Speaker 1: all so scary. What are your thoughts? Thank you for
Speaker 1: thank you in advance. Oh baby, that's a lot. I mean,
Speaker 1: I definitely do understand, and I respect that I've never
Speaker 1: been through that, So let me just say that first.
Speaker 1: And I appreciate you, you know, being vulnerable enough to
Speaker 1: share something so tragic. I mean, that definitely is tragic,
Speaker 1: and I'm very very sorry. I do respect that you
Speaker 1: want to wait, you don't want to rush it. I
Speaker 1: absolutely hate that you and the dad, or you and
Speaker 1: your ex. You know, he couldn't y'all couldn't. This could
Speaker 1: make y'all stronger in a sense, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like this, you know, and things like this happen. You know,
Speaker 1: a couple may go through something detrimental to the relationship,
Speaker 1: board to both of them, you know, and it affects
Speaker 1: the relationship so badly that they can't they can't move
Speaker 1: forward together as a couple.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know why that is. I mean,
Speaker 2: I hope y'all don't blame each other. I hope y'all don't.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, because a lot of couples can,
Speaker 2: Like even in the movie Why Did I Get Married?
Speaker 2: You know, yeah, with Tyler Perry and his wife, the
Speaker 2: Jackson Maliki and that's my bed they did.
Speaker 1: Tyler Perry did have a situation with his wife about
Speaker 1: a kid, but it was that's not the one that
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you, right, I'm talking about.
Speaker 2: Can you still have a baby with you? You can
Speaker 2: get him untied? Yeah, once you get them burnt and clipped.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, like damn bitch.
Speaker 1: But no, the scenario with Janny Jackson and Malik Yoba,
Speaker 1: yes that was but no, that still wasn't she got
Speaker 1: them because that was a car accident.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he blamed her, yeah, because she didn't strap
Speaker 2: him in.
Speaker 1: But in this situation, this girl that's writing us she
Speaker 1: lost her baby at birth, right, so yeah, and I
Speaker 1: hope and well, yeah, it's kind of the same a
Speaker 1: little bit. It's there are some similarities there. But I
Speaker 1: hope that card Man didn't blame her, like, you know,
Speaker 1: if you were taking care of your body or if
Speaker 1: you know something you know and then I hope she
Speaker 1: didn't blame him. Well, if you were there or I
Speaker 1: don't know what it was, because you left a lot
Speaker 1: of details out and that's okay. I'm happy that you
Speaker 1: were even able to open up about this, this much
Speaker 1: of it. I think you should wait, though I do.
Speaker 1: I think you're still hurt. Yes you are thirty three,
Speaker 1: but if you have already taken the steps to freeze
Speaker 1: your eggs and everything, I'm not saying wait forever. But
Speaker 1: just because they tell us our time is clicking, does
Speaker 1: not need to hurry up and rush and have no
Speaker 1: no no, because then you rush and then you're not
Speaker 1: mentally ready, or you're still hurt and haven't healed from
Speaker 1: the previous tragedy, you know what I mean. And I
Speaker 1: think if you still want your relationship, or if you
Speaker 1: still feel like there's something there or you on your
Speaker 1: ex can reconcile.
Speaker 2: I think y'all should work on that.
Speaker 1: I don't encourage any woman to get a spermed owner
Speaker 1: and just raise a baby on our own.
Speaker 2: That shit is hard, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Even with Dave beats out here, they be out here,
Speaker 1: and a lot of them turn their lives around and
Speaker 1: take ownership and accountability and become dads.
Speaker 2: You know, a lot of men and do like change.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying that they do evolve, and
Speaker 1: they do pivot, and they and they become they realize
Speaker 1: what's that stake, and they do become good dads. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that that's your situation, but I don't think
Speaker 1: any woman should have to raise a child alone. Hold up,
Speaker 1: Hold up, I know the shit getting good, But listen
Speaker 1: to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 1: Even though it can be very intentional, like because you're
Speaker 1: intentional about it. You're like, I wonder if I should
Speaker 1: just get a sperm down or whatever. But that child
Speaker 1: is gonna grow up and be like, oh, that person
Speaker 1: got two parents and this person got two parents, and
Speaker 1: whereas my you know, because there's still people at the
Speaker 1: end of the day too, and they're gonna grow up.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna be babies forever, and they're gonna be curious,
Speaker 1: and you have to be able to sit down and
Speaker 1: tell that baby.
Speaker 2: Where their dad is.
Speaker 1: And you don't know either. You won't know, you know,
Speaker 1: because you went to a sperm bank. I definitely would
Speaker 1: like for you to some more healing, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean with your break, Like, yeah, therapy, that's why
Speaker 1: I said, like she needs to be counseling therapy. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I said all pregnancy brain. I said that first, but no, no,
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 2: I love it. I used to be the same way.
Speaker 1: But yes, I think she definitely should. She should do therapy.
Speaker 1: Anything else you think she should know?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess the timing wise of when, Yeah,
Speaker 2: like when did this take place?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I know because I know she's she feels
Speaker 1: like she's racing against the clock. She thirty three, and
Speaker 1: she's like, I don't want to have I don't want
Speaker 1: to a year and two ago. Okay, so she was.
Speaker 2: Thirty one, maybe thirty thirty one? Yeah, yeah, she was
Speaker 2: a year and a half ago. She was thirty one.
Speaker 1: So they made it to a year and a half
Speaker 1: and then she said they're okay, So, yeah, that's sad.
Speaker 1: What Yeah, I guess I was thinking, like, do they
Speaker 1: just start going through a breakout right after right after okay,
Speaker 1: working on.
Speaker 2: So after the baby.
Speaker 1: That's the way they stayed together for a year and
Speaker 1: a half after that, Yeah, going through it and they
Speaker 1: just yeah, that's so sad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely sad.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's probably a different we don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on, but it's probably a couple of different things,
Speaker 1: like he really wants kids, like right now, that could
Speaker 1: be the case, and she's just scared and she doesn't
Speaker 1: want to like jump the gun and and lose another
Speaker 1: baby because they don't even know definitively what happened like
Speaker 1: for them to lose the first one.
Speaker 2: And so no, I definitely get it. But y'all, I
Speaker 2: think the fact that they it's good, but they have
Speaker 2: to know that it's gonna take time. It's not gonna
Speaker 2: take lost the child. It's not going to be like.
Speaker 1: This is not an abortion, Like this is not a
Speaker 1: miscarriage that that was a baby that you lost at birth.
Speaker 1: So yeah, just give yourself the time that you need,
Speaker 1: whether that's a lot of time or a little bit
Speaker 1: more time, but I wouldn't rush.
Speaker 2: It at all.
Speaker 1: Is that it?
Speaker 2: That's all we got? Yeah, okay, cool, I have a
Speaker 2: question for you. What's up? Why aren't you telling me
Speaker 2: you lose friends? We don't have a healthy relationship?
Speaker 1: Oh girl, when I say, I barely have any motherfucking
Speaker 1: friends left because bitches be jealous.
Speaker 2: Really, yes, listen, listen, especially the single ones.
Speaker 1: And my aunt had to tell me that, Oh my god, Taylor,
Speaker 1: I'm happy that you losing little fends though, because your
Speaker 1: friends is not the best, especially not the stories.
Speaker 2: Please, girl, they are my friend.
Speaker 1: Taylor is a really really good person, and that's why
Speaker 1: I was so shocked about some of the friends that
Speaker 1: she was keeping. But girl, yes, the ones who are
Speaker 1: not in relationships, a lot of your single friends and
Speaker 1: even some family members.
Speaker 2: But we're gonna keep it at friends.
Speaker 1: Girl, they will not understand they're jealous, and the whole
Speaker 1: time they will make you feel like they envy you,
Speaker 1: and you won't even notice until this right here, because
Speaker 1: they're so used to you not being in a relationship.
Speaker 1: They want you to These are things that you never
Speaker 1: noticed about these motherfuckers because you've been single all this
Speaker 1: time with them, and so they've been living their best
Speaker 1: life singlely but still hurt at the same time. And
Speaker 1: then now you moved on, you found happiness, and shit's
Speaker 1: still ain't working out for them and their relationships niggas
Speaker 1: come and go and shit like that.
Speaker 2: They get very jealous. So who I need to beat
Speaker 2: down Vio? All right? For all, You're right, You're.
Speaker 1: Right, should I'm just saying, but I mean, it's just
Speaker 1: it's disappointing, that's all.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: I get it, especially if it was a long like
Speaker 1: a long time friend, it was like, yeah, man, that's
Speaker 1: how it be sometimes though, and then honestly, a lot
Speaker 1: of times they can't even help it, like they really
Speaker 1: just are miserable in their lives and they're like, damn
Speaker 1: this bitch and leveled up and and just and that
Speaker 1: shit turns into anger, it turns into jealousy.
Speaker 2: It's just I'm sorry about that. My friend's trying to
Speaker 2: tell me.
Speaker 1: I think it has to do with some signs, like
Speaker 1: she was saying, like the horoscopes and stuff, the astrology
Speaker 1: of a Yeah, I don't know, I'll be looking at
Speaker 1: everything like that, and I'm a horror scope girl in
Speaker 1: the sea. Some things are just like, no, that's your character.
Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with the day you were born.
Speaker 1: That's the time you were born. Yeah, no, for sure,
Speaker 1: that's how I am too. I'm not really big on astrology,
Speaker 1: but I am. I am psyched out about it a lot, like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, like cancers do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my man did that? You know it is It
Speaker 2: is very interesting.
Speaker 1: But yeah, there are times where people try to blame
Speaker 1: everything that somebody do on their horoscope, on their zodiac sign,
Speaker 1: and baby, no, they had to do with childhood. That
Speaker 1: got to do everything with how you were raised. Who
Speaker 1: the fuck you be around your different influences and shit.
Speaker 1: So I don't I don't believe in that fully like that,
Speaker 1: But I am excited for this baby, and I'm excited
Speaker 1: for you to rid your clause and do a spring
Speaker 1: cleaning of all these crazy at friends.
Speaker 2: Get them out of there because we don't have time.
Speaker 2: It's been solid. That's good, that's good most of them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how you can really really tell who's for
Speaker 1: you and who is your friends, Like if your friends
Speaker 1: are going through something and can still be happy for
Speaker 1: the friends that are not going.
Speaker 2: Through anything, and flourishing in their lives. They are the
Speaker 2: real ones. Yeah, I'm telling you, y'all.
Speaker 1: When everything ain't right in somebody's life, they project and
Speaker 1: that's not good. So I want to take congratulations all time, y'all.
Speaker 1: Y'all taking gratulations and tall like we can't hear, y'all,
Speaker 1: but we're just trusting that, y'all staying congratulations. Yes, because
Speaker 1: she's having my son, yes, and she's.
Speaker 2: Going to be doing more readings. So we've come to
Speaker 2: yet the end of another carefully Reckless episode with you girls.
Speaker 2: Just hilarious.
Speaker 1: I'll be fixing mass That's what I'll be doing, and
Speaker 1: y'all can catch me next Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Wherever you find your podcast, Peace Can't.
Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.