Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Civic Cipher. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Ramses John.
Speaker 2: They call me q Ward because that just so happens
Speaker 2: to be my name, Ramses.
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: Who we got rocking with us? Man?
Speaker 1: He would be a fresh Maker? I missed it again,
Speaker 1: DJ fresh Makers Maker, DJ fresh Social, DJ fresh Maker.
Speaker 1: Yeah man, the myth the legend with us another episode? Right?
Speaker 4: I had pleasure to be here too, Yes, like I
Speaker 4: feel like I like I earned a bonus round.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, look, I'll tell you what. If you missed last
Speaker 1: week's episode, don't forget. You can check out all our
Speaker 1: past episodes if you're in the podcasting. If you want
Speaker 1: to check it on YouTube, hit the website Civiccipher dot com.
Speaker 1: But last episode that Fresh was up here, we talked
Speaker 1: about circulating the bag. Yes, supporting black businesses by black
Speaker 1: people and allies of black folks, and the importance of
Speaker 1: supporting black businesses, and today's episode I feel as important
Speaker 1: for a number of reasons that will become apparent as
Speaker 1: we continue to flesh out today's topic. So we'll call
Speaker 1: this episode the MythBusters Episode. I like the way that sounds,
Speaker 1: and the reason for that is there's a lot of
Speaker 1: myths that exist in the world that are very harmful
Speaker 1: to Black people, black communities, black progress, et cetera. And
Speaker 1: you know, if I have a voice, and I have
Speaker 1: my brothers at my side, I feel like it's important
Speaker 1: to use this platform to set the record straight.
Speaker 3: Facts.
Speaker 1: So, if you haven't listened to the show before, I
Speaker 1: anticipate a lot of folks listening to this show. If
Speaker 1: you haven't listened to the show before, My background and
Speaker 1: the background of my brothers is primarily entertainers. And this
Speaker 1: show exists because the station on which you're hearing this show,
Speaker 1: or the platform or whatever, primarily uses black music or
Speaker 1: black culture to reach an audience of black or non
Speaker 1: black people. And in many cases it's a place that
Speaker 1: takes black culture and repackages it for non black people.
Speaker 1: And we all felt as a community, not just me,
Speaker 1: but we all felt that it was important to rise
Speaker 1: above that title of entertainer, rise above you know, the
Speaker 1: you know, the shuck and the jib and the dance
Speaker 1: and the club that sort of a thing, and really
Speaker 1: give a voice to real issues that affect black folks.
Speaker 1: And so in these stations, these platforms that are you know,
Speaker 1: using Black culture to make a profit and repackaging black
Speaker 1: culture for you know, other groups of people. You know,
Speaker 1: these folks didn't want to be fair weather friends to
Speaker 1: the black community, and so they gave me and us
Speaker 1: this hour of time so that we can share messages
Speaker 1: with the community at large that will hopefully advance the
Speaker 1: standing and the plight of black folks. So they're not
Speaker 1: just exploiting black culture, they're also contributing in a meaningful way.
Speaker 1: With that said, today's episode again is one where we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about prevalent myths that affect the black
Speaker 1: community and the one that I've been waiting for a
Speaker 1: very long time to get off my chest talk to
Speaker 1: the people. I'm gonna have to talk to you all today.
Speaker 1: It's one about black fathers. I knew it, Black fathers,
Speaker 1: and if you know, every time I hear this, it's
Speaker 1: a heartbreaking thing. And I understand why a lot of
Speaker 1: folks think this. The myth, if you're not familiar, is
Speaker 1: that black men are not there for their children. Black
Speaker 1: men have babies and then go to jail or abandon them,
Speaker 1: otherwise abandon them or die or whatever whatever it is.
Speaker 1: And so there's this issue that plagues black communities, and
Speaker 1: for some people, especially in political circles, it is their
Speaker 1: sole argument or there's like this sole element that they
Speaker 1: use to suggest that black people are responsible for their
Speaker 1: own problems. If they would just stay home and raise
Speaker 1: their k kids, than all of the problems that affect
Speaker 1: black folks will be solved if black people stay home
Speaker 1: and raise their kids. So, as of twenty fourteen, we
Speaker 1: can definitively say that any statement like that, any sentiment
Speaker 1: like that, is exceptionally insulting and a slap in the
Speaker 1: face to the black community. But before we get there,
Speaker 1: I want to share our stories, our positive stories about
Speaker 1: black men in the community. Q. Let's start with you.
Speaker 1: Do you have children? Qut, yes, sir, I do. Can
Speaker 1: you tell me about your children? Q.
Speaker 2: I have a very very energy field young king of
Speaker 2: a son name Grayson. And if anybody follows me on
Speaker 2: social media that has known me longer than he's been alive,
Speaker 2: you notice that I was gone from social media for
Speaker 2: a long time. And then the next time you saw me,
Speaker 2: after three or three years or something like that, I
Speaker 2: was holding this beautiful child who I credit for saving
Speaker 2: my life. I'd gone through a lot in the years
Speaker 2: leading up to becoming a father, emotionally mentally felt like
Speaker 2: I was beyond repair. And this kid not only gave
Speaker 2: my life purpose but helped me. We all want to
Speaker 2: be something when we grow up. The only thing I
Speaker 2: knew I wanted to be when I grew up was
Speaker 2: a father. Everything else I hoped, you know, I hoped
Speaker 2: that would make it to the NFL, or maybe one
Speaker 2: day I'll be an architect or whatever. But I knew
Speaker 2: for certain, not because someone told me, not because I
Speaker 2: read it somewhere, not because people encouraged me to think
Speaker 2: it was a good idea, But I knew. And I'll
Speaker 2: speak on my relationship with my father later, but I
Speaker 2: knew that a good father, not just a father, but
Speaker 2: a great dad was what I wanted to be when
Speaker 2: I grew up. And Grayson Anthony viaf floor Ward made
Speaker 2: that destiny real. And then recently and I went and
Speaker 2: bought a shotgun because of this one. I have a
Speaker 2: beautiful daughter now, ico Estella via floored Ward, and she's beautiful,
Speaker 2: So I bought a shotgun. I'm gonna look at my
Speaker 2: phone because I'm on live. I'm gonna look at my
Speaker 2: phone on this one. So I bought a shotgun. I
Speaker 2: know y'all got signs. I know y'all think they're awesome.
Speaker 2: Her dad has a shotgun. Okay, I love you, bo
Speaker 2: And yeah, my babies and I love them.
Speaker 1: And before we get too far away from this, I
Speaker 1: want you to tell the people describe your relationship with
Speaker 1: your children. How often do you see them? What are
Speaker 1: how involved are you?
Speaker 2: When Grayson was six months old, I had a fantastic job.
Speaker 2: I was an autonomous testing engineer for Uber's Advanced Technology group. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all that sounds really cool, because it was really cool.
Speaker 2: I tested for ten hours a day self driving vehicles,
Speaker 2: so you just sat in the car essentially. Yes, I
Speaker 2: just sat in the car for ten hours a day
Speaker 2: and observed as it drove me around.
Speaker 3: As a great job, Arizona.
Speaker 2: And you know, for reasons beyond my control, that program
Speaker 2: was terminated for some reasons that you guys can google.
Speaker 2: I won't speak on them, but just look up Uber
Speaker 2: self Driving Tempi Arizona. The bad story, that's the one.
Speaker 2: And it put me in this position where I'm newly
Speaker 2: unemployed and newly a father at the same time. And
Speaker 2: I was terrified and ah man, I was scared to death.
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do?
Speaker 1: I I.
Speaker 2: Have this obligation to protect, teach, support, love, uplift and
Speaker 2: empower this child. But I have to be able to
Speaker 2: pay these bills and I have to be able to
Speaker 2: make sure he has food, and I have no idea
Speaker 2: how I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 3: Little did I know that.
Speaker 2: Almost three years later, I still hadn't got a new job,
Speaker 2: because after I spent about nine days in a row
Speaker 2: at home with my son, it was gonna take something
Speaker 2: incredible for me to cash that in, Like you were
Speaker 2: gonna have to You're gonna have to offer me something astronomical,
Speaker 2: like you know, use of the company jet and you know,
Speaker 2: an expense account and you know, insane salary of some sorts.
Speaker 2: It was gonna have to just be gross where y'all
Speaker 2: would have both been like, okay, cue, look, bring Grace
Speaker 2: into the house, right right. So it provided me with
Speaker 2: an incredible experience to now, you know, my daughter will
Speaker 2: be a year old on Christmas. You know, Grason just
Speaker 2: turned three. Neither of them have woken up without me there,
Speaker 2: and that's an incredible I'm very very proud of that
Speaker 2: being their truth and my truth. There's no version of
Speaker 2: life that exists. There's no full day or full week
Speaker 2: or full weekend that where you look around and it's like,
Speaker 2: where's Dad? And if I'm gone for too long? Even
Speaker 2: you know, here doing this show as soon as the
Speaker 2: door opens, even Iko, who's ten months old, she hasn't
Speaker 2: even seen who it is yet, but when the door opens,
Speaker 2: she screams out, Daddy, it's the coolest thing in the world.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 2: So my experience has been full time father and provider
Speaker 2: and protector and teacher.
Speaker 1: And I bought a shotgun, all right, and uh fresh Now,
Speaker 1: I know you don't have any children yet.
Speaker 3: Right, but his niece and nephew game strong.
Speaker 1: Though, Yes, indeed, But I can surmise I can infer
Speaker 1: from your character, from the type of man that you are,
Speaker 1: that when the day comes and you do have a
Speaker 1: child or children, that your story will sound very similar
Speaker 1: to the one we just heard from Q. Oh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, absolutely.
Speaker 4: It's uh, it's kind of inherent. Like I feel like
Speaker 4: there are a tremendous amount of lessons that I'm not
Speaker 4: only learned learn from my father, but from people that
Speaker 4: I have anointed as father figures that I feel it's
Speaker 4: almost criminal not to pass down, and I think it's
Speaker 4: great that I'm actually waiting a little bit longer. Because
Speaker 4: I was very immature in my sight of what Dad was.
Speaker 4: I thought Dad was mostly disciplinarian and provider, obviously a teacher,
Speaker 4: but I relished in disciplining only because I really did
Speaker 4: learn a lot of lessons when things were taken away
Speaker 4: from me or I was forced to learn through discipline
Speaker 4: from my father.
Speaker 1: And so the.
Speaker 4: Desire is to have you know, whomever your seed is
Speaker 4: to learn the lesson before you do, so they can
Speaker 4: get to where you got faster. So that would be
Speaker 4: That was the main goal that I always thought about.
Speaker 4: But as I've gotten a little bit more mature, the
Speaker 4: goal also became two, actually show that I can share,
Speaker 4: you know, some emotion with you.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, So.
Speaker 4: Like I said that, in younger days, I didn't really
Speaker 4: think about that, but when I do see, you know,
Speaker 4: children make breakthroughs because of the influence or cheering on
Speaker 4: from their parents. They're allowed to have these moments where
Speaker 4: you know, they are they can be vulnerable together and
Speaker 4: I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1: You can do that.
Speaker 4: Oh they probably would't feel really good, Okay, cool, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'll do that.
Speaker 3: So dig this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there, this this myth that has been very damaging
Speaker 1: to the black community for decades. Wasn't always true, obviously,
Speaker 1: but in a modern world, people that can't see past
Speaker 1: the date of the day they were born, you can't
Speaker 1: see anything before that, they feel like this is the reality.
Speaker 1: They feel like historically, you know, blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: you know, I say this a lot, and I will
Speaker 1: always say it because it's true. The first human beings
Speaker 1: were black, the first families were black. The first man
Speaker 1: that ever stayed home was black. I'm sure the first
Speaker 1: man that ever left his family you have too. So
Speaker 1: I think history is very important, but I do want
Speaker 1: to speak to some of the things that, in my estimation,
Speaker 1: contributed to this damaging concept idea of the black the
Speaker 1: broken black family, because you got to think with this
Speaker 1: this and if you think to yourself, black families in
Speaker 1: the eighteen hundreds, you know in this you know that
Speaker 1: in the in the slave field or in the slave field.
Speaker 1: So even earlier in the eighteen hundreds, you know, families
Speaker 1: were broken up, but where they could stay together, it
Speaker 1: was a family, right, they were broken up by the
Speaker 1: slave masters. Okay, so we're gonna we're gonna say they
Speaker 1: were sold off like cattle. But you know, after that,
Speaker 1: communities developed where black families, you know, raised black children
Speaker 1: and black spaces and everything was fine. There was black
Speaker 1: commerce to piggyback off the show that we did not
Speaker 1: too long, excuse me, And you know, no one was
Speaker 1: complaining about black men abandoning their families back then because
Speaker 1: it wasn't true. The same holds true in the twenties,
Speaker 1: the thirties, the forties, the fifties, the sixties, the seventies,
Speaker 1: and it's in the late seventies early eighties where there's
Speaker 1: this war on drugs again this is my estimation, and
Speaker 1: there's a mass incarceration, a deliberate attempt by the United
Speaker 1: States government to disrupt the black community, which started in
Speaker 1: the late sixties, early seventies and continued into the eighties
Speaker 1: where it really took hold with the mass incarceration that
Speaker 1: took place during that time, where they sically black men
Speaker 1: were scooped out of their neighborhoods and uh relocated into prisons.
Speaker 1: These are all well documented things. These aren't things that
Speaker 1: I'm making up. These are certainly not conspiracy theories. And
Speaker 1: as always Google it is free, So I employ you
Speaker 1: to google it if you don't believe what I'm telling you.
Speaker 1: But this contributed to this idea that black women were
Speaker 1: welfare queens, black men were absent from the homes, and
Speaker 1: the broken black family is the fault of black people.
Speaker 1: And I it's it's impossible to fully measure the devastation
Speaker 1: of the War on drugs on black on black communities
Speaker 1: and brown communities be and and that delivered attempt by
Speaker 1: the government, this government to disrupt black families, black communities.
Speaker 1: It was a deliberate attempt to do so. And that's
Speaker 1: those are those are topics for a different show. Right now,
Speaker 1: we're talking about this myth, but it starts somewhere. And
Speaker 1: then that's why I wanted to make sure that we
Speaker 1: talked about the history, because history is very important. But yes,
Speaker 1: there were some examples after that of broken black homes,
Speaker 1: you know, and obviously crack babies, a crack epademic, things
Speaker 1: like this. I'm from Compton, California in the eighties, so
Speaker 1: i was born in that. I saw that. It's it's
Speaker 1: a very personal thing for me. One of my sisters
Speaker 1: was born underweight. If that tells you everything that you
Speaker 1: need to know, I saw it with these eyes. And
Speaker 1: then I grew up and I learned how that happened
Speaker 1: and who was responsible for that? Do you understand? And
Speaker 1: so oh still, I knew from my own experience that
Speaker 1: black fathers were largely present and even in communities, even
Speaker 1: in my community back then in Compton, California, when I
Speaker 1: moved to Phoenix. You know, I'm a black person. I
Speaker 1: you know, I have a shared culture with other black people,
Speaker 1: and so I tend to congregate with other black folks
Speaker 1: at church, at the cookout, at you know, just you know,
Speaker 1: whoever can you know, speak your language and you know,
Speaker 1: identify with certain cultural markers, and you know, those are
Speaker 1: your people, that's your clan, and that's who you grew
Speaker 1: up with.
Speaker 4: And my.
Speaker 1: Journey certainly reflected that there was a good number of
Speaker 1: black men very much involved in the lives of their children.
Speaker 1: And so when I got older, me starting to hear
Speaker 1: this narrative that black men were not in the homes,
Speaker 1: not raising their children. That did not ever jibe with
Speaker 1: my immediate reality, the reality that I saw around me.
Speaker 1: And so that brings me to this point in the
Speaker 1: conversation where twoy thirteen, twenty fourteen. If you don't know,
Speaker 1: I employ you to google this as well. If you
Speaker 1: google nothing else, please google this. The United States has
Speaker 1: an entity that tracks diseases family structure, basically these pillars
Speaker 1: that hold up society. You know, human beings, how they behave,
Speaker 1: and things that affect them. And one of the things
Speaker 1: that they track is the familial unit, the nuclear family.
Speaker 1: You know, how is this dynamic growing? How many children
Speaker 1: are women having on average? You know, things like this.
Speaker 1: That's monitored by the Center for Disease Control. Well, in
Speaker 1: their study in twenty thirteen, which admittedly is some years ago,
Speaker 1: but it's modern enough for us to be able to
Speaker 1: challenge this myth in this episode. I know I'm talking
Speaker 1: a lot, but let me make my point please. As
Speaker 1: it turns out, they did a study of men in
Speaker 1: the capacity of a parent, and their findings concluded that
Speaker 1: black men were actually doing better than everybody. Again, you
Speaker 1: can google that, and that's something that was more consistent
Speaker 1: with my reality. Black men were very much involved with
Speaker 1: raising their children, more likely to change diapers, more likely
Speaker 1: to engage in playtime, more present overall, to do school runs,
Speaker 1: et cetera, on and on and on, and the reason why.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons rather why black men were underrepresented
Speaker 1: is because of the fact that black mothers and fathers
Speaker 1: tend to be unmarried at a higher rate than other folks.
Speaker 1: And I could make a case, and I think I
Speaker 1: will if you will allow me to, if you allow
Speaker 1: me to, that economics might have something to do with that.
Speaker 1: You know, some some folks want to wait to get married.
Speaker 1: Some folks want to you know that they You know,
Speaker 1: their marriage is an economic institution, no matter what, no
Speaker 1: matter how you look at it, and for some people
Speaker 1: it works out great, and for some people it's expensive,
Speaker 1: especially if you want to take into account a wedding,
Speaker 1: especially if it changes the way you file your taxes
Speaker 1: or what you can claim or what you know, what
Speaker 1: your refund looks like, et cetera. And so there are
Speaker 1: I believe, economic conditions that all so contribute to the
Speaker 1: fact that black women and men tend to be unmarried
Speaker 1: to each other more often. But when you look at
Speaker 1: the men's involvement with their children, it's actually greater than
Speaker 1: everyone else. And so what happens is when you look
Speaker 1: at the numbers the wrong way or otherwise don't account
Speaker 1: for the full story, you end up with a very damaging, harmful,
Speaker 1: hurtful myth about black men. And I'm sorry I've monopolized
Speaker 1: so much at the time. And I won't talk about
Speaker 1: my children yet, but I will talk about my babies
Speaker 1: because I got a microphone and I love those two.
Speaker 1: But I want to get your thoughts on this Q.
Speaker 1: What do you think?
Speaker 2: So I want to collaborate on this response with fresh
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you the what, and I'm hoping
Speaker 2: that my brother can give us some insight on the why.
Speaker 2: There tends to be lots of human conditions, human happenings
Speaker 2: that are more life and proximity based then race based. Right,
Speaker 2: they happen to everyone in every community, but they tend
Speaker 2: to label them black. Like black on black crime, it's
Speaker 2: not based on the fact that the people are black.
Speaker 2: It's based on the fact that the crime and the
Speaker 2: proximity of a community where all the people are black
Speaker 2: is going to be black.
Speaker 1: Real quick crime done by white people is from other
Speaker 1: white people. So that's white on white crime, if you will,
Speaker 1: And that doesn't exists any more than black on black
Speaker 1: crime exists, correct in the real world.
Speaker 2: I think, in the same respect you spoke about marriage
Speaker 2: and the familial concept that comes with being a married
Speaker 2: couple that has children that live in the same home.
Speaker 2: You speak about, you know, the eighties and the epidemic
Speaker 2: that the crack cocaine was to our community, and the
Speaker 2: way that was even labeled the war on drugs were
Speaker 2: the pandemic or the epidemic with you know, narcotic level drugs.
Speaker 2: Now the opioid crisis that's happening now because the people
Speaker 2: that are the victims of that look different, it's not
Speaker 2: viewed as criminal anymore, but it's viewed as a health crisis. Right,
Speaker 2: So when the people that suffer from these things look
Speaker 2: like us, the what is they get labeled and pushed
Speaker 2: in front of us in a way that's different. Again,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna speak of the what, and I would like
Speaker 2: my brother Fresh to give us a little insight on
Speaker 2: the why. It's not the absence of the black father,
Speaker 2: because I tend to say that white couples break up
Speaker 2: and divorce two And you know, my father more specifically
Speaker 2: was not present for me, but he was very present
Speaker 2: for my younger brother and my younger sister. Different mother,
Speaker 2: different relationship and different relationship with their mother. Right, I
Speaker 2: have no idea. I was three when he left, so
Speaker 2: I don't know what kind of beef, what kind of misunderstanding.
Speaker 2: I don't know what my mom did now. Of course,
Speaker 2: as a kid, my mom is perfect and my dad
Speaker 2: ain't crap because he left her. But now that I'm
Speaker 2: an adult and I've been through some things with some women,
Speaker 2: I'm smart enough to know my dad and my mom
Speaker 2: could have had whatever type of problem that they had.
Speaker 2: Now he was absent in my case, maybe it's because
Speaker 2: he couldn't be there, maybe because he didn't want to be.
Speaker 2: But you hear the experience of Jerome Raw's Ward fourth
Speaker 2: and Tasha Ward now Tasha Evans, and they have a
Speaker 2: much different experience because he was very present, very loving,
Speaker 2: very involved, and very proud of his children. And what
Speaker 2: I learned when I met my brothers and sisters that
Speaker 2: didn't grow up in the house with me, is that
Speaker 2: my dad was also very proud of me, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. So fresh, other families break up, Other
Speaker 2: couples break up, other couples and families divorce. Other fathers
Speaker 2: of other ethnicities leave or not, But they're not labeled
Speaker 2: as because they're this right, Because all of our things,
Speaker 2: all of our problems, all of our shortcomings are because
Speaker 2: we're black. Right, That father isn't present because he's a
Speaker 2: black father. So the what is our normal human interactions
Speaker 2: and our normal things that happen to and around us
Speaker 2: are labeled as the black fathers are not president, Black
Speaker 2: on black crime and black this? How come that happens
Speaker 2: to us?
Speaker 4: There's plenty there, but a more simplified thing that I
Speaker 4: thought of. You guys can let me know how you
Speaker 4: feel about it, but there's no fun and no entertainment
Speaker 4: in pointing out your own flaws.
Speaker 3: Right, So if you.
Speaker 4: Are primarily in control of the airwaves, right you're not,
Speaker 4: you're less likely to report on, say, domestic terrorism, but
Speaker 4: you're more likely to report on you know, terrorism from
Speaker 4: you know, somebody that doesn't look like you. Correct, So
Speaker 4: that would make you know, for a good TV or
Speaker 4: a good report because it doesn't force you to look
Speaker 4: in the mirror, you know, or challenge you know internally
Speaker 4: what's in your community. So I would say that's one
Speaker 4: of the reasons where you hear more about it on
Speaker 4: on our end because we're kind of like easy punching
Speaker 4: bags in that situation, like we don't control airwaves in
Speaker 4: such a capacity to where we can beat a lie
Speaker 4: across the street, you know.
Speaker 3: But also.
Speaker 4: When you alluded to, you know, folks not being married,
Speaker 4: we have to think about just common human experience. If
Speaker 4: you know, if you're not doing much all day, right,
Speaker 4: you can you're more probable to get into something that
Speaker 4: you ain't supposed to be getting into, right, whether it
Speaker 4: hands yeah, devil's playground.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: So if you know, you may be in a neighborhood
Speaker 4: where there's a lot of idle hands, right, you might
Speaker 4: have a higher probability of laying down with somebody with
Speaker 4: that idle time. You lay down with somebody in that
Speaker 4: idle time, but there's no intention to be married or
Speaker 4: to live in the same place.
Speaker 3: You could still be a great father.
Speaker 4: But as far as what the numbers will say, it'll
Speaker 4: say that sixty nine point three percent of our women,
Speaker 4: you know, are single mothers, whereas like for the Hispanic
Speaker 4: community it would be twenty one point nine percent.
Speaker 1: Like that's a.
Speaker 4: Huh mongous massive, you know difference. However, we do know
Speaker 4: in the Hispanic community there's more than likely going to
Speaker 4: be a little bit more folks living together in the
Speaker 4: same home, you know, Uh, so that's gonna you know,
Speaker 4: make a difference there and for us, like you also alluded.
Speaker 1: To, getting married.
Speaker 4: Is not only something that you have to think about
Speaker 4: really as far as financial, but making you know, making
Speaker 4: the commitment to say I want to have a family
Speaker 4: and take care of all of you and put that
Speaker 4: on my shoulders. That's something big, you know, humongous for
Speaker 4: a man to do, and we can be straight up
Speaker 4: about it. Not everybody you know has that and has
Speaker 4: that in them, right, But let's say you're just not
Speaker 4: there financially, you're going to more than likely back up
Speaker 4: as a form of responsibility, like I need not to
Speaker 4: pull you with me if I don't necessarily have solid ground.
Speaker 4: So but the numbers could reflect that negatively also. But
Speaker 4: I do think that what you see in the twenty
Speaker 4: thirteen study is a response to the generation prior absolutely,
Speaker 4: whereas like just basically, I'm not going to allow my
Speaker 4: children to have the same you know, upbringing that I have,
Speaker 4: whether my dad left voluntarily or involuntarily, I'm definitely going
Speaker 4: to make sure that my children have the father that
Speaker 4: maybe I didn't get a chance to experience.
Speaker 1: And you know something else, I think that now I
Speaker 1: don't really think of myself as a conspiracy theorist. But
Speaker 1: I'm black, so I'm a little bit paranoid.
Speaker 3: That distrust is real.
Speaker 1: Man. Yeah, and you know, I'm obviously not a slow person,
Speaker 1: So I tend to find patterns maybe where they don't exist,
Speaker 1: just because it's just something that occurs to me. And
Speaker 1: one of the things that I have seen over and
Speaker 1: over again throughout my life and all of my studies.
Speaker 1: And you know, and make no mistake, there's a master's
Speaker 1: degree hanging on the wall in my house. So that's
Speaker 1: a few studies that I've done. One thing I've seen
Speaker 1: quite a bit of is the emasculation of black men.
Speaker 1: That's a it's a whole show. It could be, Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: But I want to say this, when this narrative exists
Speaker 1: where black men don't take care of their families, they
Speaker 1: don't raise their kids, When that exists, to me, that's
Speaker 1: another thinly veiled dig at the masculinity of black men.
Speaker 1: And the worst part about it is we will believe
Speaker 1: it now again. I've believed that for a long time,
Speaker 1: despite the fact that my reality didn't reflect that. I
Speaker 1: know my dad, I was with him his whole life,
Speaker 1: I got to bury my father. My father loved his son,
Speaker 1: He loved all of his sons. He kissed his sons
Speaker 1: and his daughters. He hugged us. We ate with my dad.
Speaker 1: He disciplined us, he provided. He was a dad, you know,
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know how to be any
Speaker 1: different to my children. In fact, the lessons the voice
Speaker 1: that I use, this is the voice of doctor Rudolph
Speaker 1: Wayne Taylor. That's the voice to my children here. So
Speaker 1: I believed these these myths, these emasculating myths, and one
Speaker 1: connection that I've been able to make, and this is
Speaker 1: a show I definitely want to do. So stay tuned
Speaker 1: for that, which, by the way, if you're just tuning
Speaker 1: in to Civic Cipher, I'm your host, ramses Joah. My
Speaker 1: name is Q Ward, and we're joined with Josan Emmanuel
Speaker 1: aka Freshmaker. Hey what's up? And today's episode we're talking
Speaker 1: about uh myths. We're being MythBusters and we're talking about
Speaker 1: at present, the myth of the absent Black Father. Originally
Speaker 1: I came across a piece and and you know, some
Speaker 1: folks say it's a work of fiction. Some folks still
Speaker 1: believe it's a fact or a work of nonfiction rather,
Speaker 1: and either way, it's it's very important to in terms
Speaker 1: of explaining the philosophy of indoctrinating slaves new to this country.
Speaker 1: It's called Willie Lynch Letter. And again I do want
Speaker 1: to do a whole episode on it, so we're not
Speaker 1: going to talk too much about that. But remember I
Speaker 1: told you earlier, I connect patterns. I see things where
Speaker 1: maybe they don't exist. There's paranoia here and this idea
Speaker 1: of emasculine people. I heard Dave Chappelle one time mentioned
Speaker 1: that he noticed that all of the strong black men
Speaker 1: on TV at at one point or another, they end
Speaker 1: up in address. And when he said it, I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: you're right, Willie Lynch Letter. There's a part of this letter,
Speaker 1: and and please read it yourself. I should put this
Speaker 1: up on our social media. Be sure to follow us too,
Speaker 1: by the way, at Civic Cipher or hit the website
Speaker 1: at Civiccipher dot com. And if you want to go
Speaker 1: back and review this at Curshing, download the episode there
Speaker 1: as well. But I'll paraphrase in the Willy Lynch Letter, Basically,
Speaker 1: this man named Willie Lynch teaches slave owners how to
Speaker 1: indoctrinate their slaves that are fresh from Africa, so that
Speaker 1: they can be productive units of labor. He mentions horrible things,
Speaker 1: things that you know if they had happened to like
Speaker 1: dogs or animals or anything like that, but they happen
Speaker 1: human beings. And sorry, one part of this letter, he
Speaker 1: mentions how you're supposed to destroy the the idea of
Speaker 1: the man, the male in the family. And what you
Speaker 1: do is you tie his arms to two horses, and
Speaker 1: you tie his legs to two other horses, and you
Speaker 1: whip all four horses, and then they rip him apart.
Speaker 1: And you you're supposed to do this in front of
Speaker 1: the black woman, the slave woman from Africa. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to do it in front of her, so she sees
Speaker 1: him ripped apart. And then you make sure that her
Speaker 1: child is there to see that as well. So when
Speaker 1: she sees the male image destroyed in front of her,
Speaker 1: she is going to raise her children in reverse roles.
Speaker 1: She needs to see that cruelty. So she needs to
Speaker 1: raise her son now to be weak, to no longer
Speaker 1: pose a threat, to be an orderly unit of production.
Speaker 1: She needs to raise her daughter to be strong, to
Speaker 1: stand out front so that she can serve as a
Speaker 1: buffer between the master and the black man, and so
Speaker 1: that he is one step further from that sort of
Speaker 1: brutality supposed to rip this man apart in front of
Speaker 1: his family, and then they're supposed to be second man there.
Speaker 1: If I remember correctly, that you're supposed to tarn feather,
Speaker 1: which I think that means you just kind of cover
Speaker 1: him in hot tar and then throw chicken feathers on
Speaker 1: him and he has to like it melts his skin
Speaker 1: and he has to like peel it off or something.
Speaker 1: It's meant to like make a mockery of him. But
Speaker 1: the idea again is to destroy the image of a
Speaker 1: strong black man. And the idea is that this cycle
Speaker 1: perpetuates itself. These women continue to raise the men to
Speaker 1: be weaker and the women to be stronger. And there
Speaker 1: are arguments that this is how you get that black
Speaker 1: Mama sort of dynamic in the black family, how you
Speaker 1: get that very often times you know a matriarchical, a
Speaker 1: matriar archic goal. I don't know if I'm saying that right,
Speaker 1: famelial structure, but you take elements like this and you
Speaker 1: string them all together. And again, admittedly I may see
Speaker 1: patterns where maybe none exist. But to live in a
Speaker 1: world where they say black men are not there to
Speaker 1: raise their children, when in fact, you know, when when
Speaker 1: I had my sons, I was so happy I couldn't
Speaker 1: even leave my sons. You know how mad they would be.
Speaker 1: They would come find me like yo, yo, where are
Speaker 1: you finna go?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Exactly, we got a game. And so again I think
Speaker 1: this is something that is long overdue in terms of discussion. Now,
Speaker 1: you guys both have read that letter, that Willie Lynch
Speaker 1: letters letter. Yes, unfortunately, Okay, so you do know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, true, How did that hit you when you
Speaker 1: first saw that it worked?
Speaker 2: Like there was a He was trying to get them
Speaker 2: somewhere with that, with those instructions, and they were supposed
Speaker 2: to have a lasting effect on us as a community.
Speaker 2: You know, in the event that we ever did escape
Speaker 2: in a literal sense mentally mentally, we would somehow still
Speaker 2: be oppressed, trapped, controlled. The effectiveness of his instructions is
Speaker 2: what stood out to me.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, And I just feel like you know, when you
Speaker 1: when you take a step back and you look at it,
Speaker 1: and you know, far be it for me to be
Speaker 1: the sort of person that says that black people are
Speaker 1: not responsible for anything. You know. I'm not the sort
Speaker 1: of woe is me person. I don't think black people
Speaker 1: are a woe is me type of people. But again,
Speaker 1: when you're up against systemic racism, when you're up against
Speaker 1: economic imbalance, when you're dealing with when you know, the
Speaker 1: war on drugs is a war that you know, it's
Speaker 1: taking soldiers, you know, you know, and you're you're going
Speaker 1: up against a government that's well funded and has police
Speaker 1: forces and legally has the right to execute you in
Speaker 1: the middle of the street, as we've seen over and
Speaker 1: over again on video. And then you're working against stereotypes
Speaker 1: as well that pit you in a position where not
Speaker 1: only do you come from an environment where there's a
Speaker 1: great deal of hopelessness oftentimes if you come from impoverished
Speaker 1: black communities and brown communities as well, but also that
Speaker 1: uphill battle that you're fighting it more than like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's going to take the rest of your life and
Speaker 1: then your children's life. So there's that's not something that
Speaker 1: you it's not like you're born into like tremendous wealth
Speaker 1: and you know, or even some degree of privilege. You know,
Speaker 1: you're it's it's all fighting from here on out. We
Speaker 1: got to fight for everything. All my life, I had
Speaker 1: to fight, you know what I mean, Like that's that's
Speaker 1: a genuine sentiment. I just think that having a very
Speaker 1: harmful myth like that, perpetuated over and over again for
Speaker 1: years decades, has certainly not done black folks, black families
Speaker 1: any favors. You know, people are so quick to forget
Speaker 1: black was not not even black Wall Street. I think
Speaker 1: that's a convenient example because it's top of mind. But
Speaker 1: there are so many other Black communities that were that. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and these these were communities that engaged in politics,
Speaker 1: in finance, you know, self sustaining communities that from these communities.
Speaker 1: You have historically black colleges and universities that were born
Speaker 1: out of these communities. And there was at every single point,
Speaker 1: historically speaking, a concerted and deliberate attempt either by militias,
Speaker 1: by the government, or just by you know, Billy Bob
Speaker 1: and and you know, the whatever his constituents are, just
Speaker 1: to run them out of town, you know, like that
Speaker 1: sort of the thing. And you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: folks fail to consider because even if that were true,
Speaker 1: even if it was true that black men have children
Speaker 1: and then abandon them. The the fact that people are
Speaker 1: so quick to, as you stated, say Okay, that's a
Speaker 1: black issue. Black people need to get it together. They
Speaker 1: don't have nothing to do with me. You know, this
Speaker 1: is your own fault. These are your problems. Deal with
Speaker 1: your community, and not accounting for the fact that there's
Speaker 1: so many other things that can influence that sort of behavior,
Speaker 1: which again it's not true. It's a myth. Google it.
Speaker 1: Black men are doing. Best of all. You can read
Speaker 1: it from the Wall Street Journal. You can read it
Speaker 1: from the New York Times. You can read it from
Speaker 1: the CDC itself. They have the numbers. You can draw
Speaker 1: your own conclusions from there. But even if it were true,
Speaker 1: it's there's so many elements that go into where black
Speaker 1: people are, what station black people are at at this
Speaker 1: point in life. And if anything, I believe that's a
Speaker 1: testament to the resilience of black people, to the compassion,
Speaker 1: to the fact that you know, we hear, we've heard
Speaker 1: this a lot recently. Black people are still even now,
Speaker 1: not looking for revenge. The only thing on the table
Speaker 1: is equality and after all the things that have taken
Speaker 1: place to black people. You know, I was born into
Speaker 1: in Compton, California, as I mentioned, in a poor community
Speaker 1: ravaged by drugs, and that was my That's where I
Speaker 1: started in life, and I'm not angry about that. I
Speaker 1: wish it was better. I'm out here fighting the good fight, obviously,
Speaker 1: and I have a lot of allies. Whichever station you're
Speaker 1: listening to right now, I count them an ally by
Speaker 1: giving a voice to this type of show. But it
Speaker 1: remains the case that it's an uphill battle, and you know,
Speaker 1: no one is mad, no one wants revenge, just equality, fairness,
Speaker 1: and equitable go. And that's all that we're looking for
Speaker 1: despite all of these tremendous injustices against black people and
Speaker 1: brown people in this country. And I feel like it's
Speaker 1: very important to make sure that we again get this
Speaker 1: out there so that people understand and can research on
Speaker 1: their own and begin to change the narrative. Take back
Speaker 1: the black family, own the black family, love the black family.
Speaker 1: Take back black leadership, own black leadership, follow support black leadership.
Speaker 1: That's another one that's very important, and I think that
Speaker 1: those two go hand in hand because the black man,
Speaker 1: by by emasculating the black man, by by spinning this
Speaker 1: narrative that black men are not home. I think that's
Speaker 1: a challenge to black leadership, and that's not something that
Speaker 1: is helpful because you know, whenever, you know, we saw
Speaker 1: it during the protest, you know, I know that we
Speaker 1: were out there together when everyone was doing all the
Speaker 1: marches earlier this year, and that's something that we heard
Speaker 1: a lot. A lot of folks were fired up. They
Speaker 1: wanted to get out there and do whatever they wanted
Speaker 1: to do, you know, hold up signs, march, you know,
Speaker 1: yell at the police, whatever that was. But there was
Speaker 1: black leadership out there, and people had a tough time
Speaker 1: recognizing that. And I think that again, that's sort of
Speaker 1: the concept, the idea of a strong black man, black leadership,
Speaker 1: et cetera, that starts with a strong black family, and
Speaker 1: unfortunately that's been taken from us unfairly by this harmful
Speaker 1: myth and so again the MythBusters episode. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's something that again needed to be discussed, and
Speaker 1: I think that moving forward, we're going to have to
Speaker 1: carry that with us into all of our conversations. We're
Speaker 1: going to have to make sure that when we overhear people,
Speaker 1: excuse me, make a joke, black people are otherwise, but
Speaker 1: especially black people because we need to know this about
Speaker 1: you know, take care of your kids or you know
Speaker 1: that sort of thing that they need to at least
Speaker 1: understand the reality of the situation. Of course, it's cool
Speaker 1: to joke around about stuff, and you know, we always
Speaker 1: you know, black people seepe time like those sorts of
Speaker 1: jokes in our own communities. If you're not black, please
Speaker 1: don't make any jokes about that. It's it's not a
Speaker 1: good idea to do that.
Speaker 4: Some money did that one time, and I was like,
Speaker 4: it's like a politician but his wife was black and
Speaker 4: he thought he could.
Speaker 3: He thought he could, and it was like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that CEP time one is a big one too.
Speaker 1: I just funny story real quick. While we're there, I
Speaker 1: was listening to one of President Obama's speeches. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of a weird nerd when it comes to that stuff.
Speaker 1: I like to study speeches and great orators, and Obama
Speaker 1: just he was just a tremendous speaker. Him and Dave Chappelle,
Speaker 1: they you know, can we facts and humor together, like
Speaker 1: they're just masterful at it. But Obama was giving a
Speaker 1: speech and he says something, He's like, you know, forgive
Speaker 1: me for being late. As you know, we were operating
Speaker 1: on CP time. And then everyone kind of had a
Speaker 1: chuckle in the audience, and he says, and for those
Speaker 1: of you who don't know what CP CP time stands for.
Speaker 1: CP time stands for jokes that white people can't make.
Speaker 1: And I thought that was the funniest thing. I just
Speaker 1: thought that that dude is just you know, so anyway,
Speaker 1: long and short of it is, you know, even stuff
Speaker 1: like that can be you know, harmful if we don't
Speaker 1: really understand what it is that we're saying and where
Speaker 1: it's going and who's hearing it. Because for us, we
Speaker 1: understand that we can say things like CP time, We
Speaker 1: can say things like you know, go and take care
Speaker 1: of them kids, or what they change them times. You know,
Speaker 1: we understand that or have the capacity to understand that
Speaker 1: it's harmless. We understand that we're playing with a trauma, right,
Speaker 1: a trauma or a stereotype or something that's not true
Speaker 1: you know, or that you know, whatever. You know, if
Speaker 1: you've been through that, you can talk about that. You
Speaker 1: can't talk about that perfect perfect And then other people
Speaker 1: who are on the outside looking in that you know,
Speaker 1: exchange might become their reality. I think a great example
Speaker 1: is the in word. You know, black folks will use
Speaker 1: the in word with each other all the time. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just a thing that happens. It's cultural, and that's
Speaker 1: the end of it. One day we'll have a show
Speaker 1: on that, sure and discuss how we feel about that,
Speaker 1: But for now, our purposes just to explain that it exists.
Speaker 1: And you understand that if a person in this example
Speaker 1: will say, as a white person is a casual listener
Speaker 1: to that conversation, this white person might think, without knowing
Speaker 1: anything else, oh well, these are my friends. This is
Speaker 1: how they talk. And I can talk like this too
Speaker 1: because I'm friendly with these people, and they'll get in
Speaker 1: there and do the same thing. And so again you
Speaker 1: need to understand that those jokes, those sorts of things.
Speaker 1: You know, the more educated you are, the more you
Speaker 1: will be able to insulate people who don't know better
Speaker 1: from that, or you'll be able to educate them. And again,
Speaker 1: today's message, and the one that I wanted to get
Speaker 1: out above all others, was that black men take care
Speaker 1: of their take great care of their kids better than
Speaker 1: everyone else. More involved again, more involved with feeding, more
Speaker 1: involved with babing, our bathing, changing diapers, getting kids ready
Speaker 1: for school, drop and them off at school, spending quality
Speaker 1: time with them. That's the thing that is not widely known,
Speaker 1: not as widely known as the very very harmful stereotype
Speaker 1: that exists about black men, but certainly again is a
Speaker 1: reflection of my reality and ques reality as well. And ultimately,
Speaker 1: when you have children, I do believe it, you're definitely too. Definitely,
Speaker 1: So so yeah, I wanted to make sure that I
Speaker 1: ah left everyone with that now before I get out
Speaker 1: of here. Uh. Last the last show that we did,
Speaker 1: I had a chance to run over some black owned
Speaker 1: businesses that I didn't get to really you know, spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time like really letting folks know about
Speaker 1: what the businesses did, just because we ran out of time.
Speaker 1: So I want to touch on some of those again.
Speaker 1: One of them is called the Change Society. It's a
Speaker 1: nonprofit black owned business that creates opportunities to connect people
Speaker 1: with causes and one of the excuse me. One of
Speaker 1: the most visible events that this company puts on is
Speaker 1: called hashtag lunch Bag, and what they do is basically,
Speaker 1: they get a bunch of people together, create lunch bags
Speaker 1: and hygiene kits and take these hygiene kits and lunch
Speaker 1: bags and distributes them to homeless folks, people who you know,
Speaker 1: spend their life on the streets and have to do
Speaker 1: a lot of walking around. And if you want to
Speaker 1: get involved, you can visit the Change Society dot com,
Speaker 1: the Change Society dot com. You can certainly support them. Again,
Speaker 1: black owned business and Q you were talking about a
Speaker 1: black owned business before as well, and I think that
Speaker 1: you didn't get a chance to go into detail about.
Speaker 2: Them, which because I brought up a couple.
Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't remember which one, but I wanted
Speaker 1: to hit two, and I know that you had one
Speaker 1: that we didn't get to talk about, so I'll get
Speaker 1: my other one. The other one is again a clothing company,
Speaker 1: h black owned clothing company. It's called Major Threads. It's
Speaker 1: about UH sports like athletes, so if you if you
Speaker 1: wear under armor, if you were Nike, you know, those
Speaker 1: sorts of things like you're in a gym. It's a
Speaker 1: clothing company that uh provides garments that are breathable and
Speaker 1: you know, just gym clothes basically. And it's a black
Speaker 1: owned company and certainly deserving of your support. They employed
Speaker 1: black people and uh, I'm I'm proud to say that
Speaker 1: they are some folks that I've been able to support
Speaker 1: as well. The Million Dollar Teacher Project is another one
Speaker 1: and they're one of the sponsors of the show, so
Speaker 1: you can look them up as well. And for Oh,
Speaker 1: Monarch Theater and Barsmith are also black owned as well.
Speaker 1: If you're ever in Phoenix and you're wanting to do
Speaker 1: something at night, there are some night clubs that are
Speaker 1: available to you as well, So lots of black owned
Speaker 1: businesses for you to engage with and circulate the bag,
Speaker 1: as fresh Maker puts it. And if you want to
Speaker 1: know more information on any of those businesses, you can
Speaker 1: of course check our websites civiccipher dot com and download
Speaker 1: you can download the show or our last episode where
Speaker 1: we got a chance to go on a little bit
Speaker 1: more detail about some other black owned businesses that I
Speaker 1: think are important for you to check out, just so
Speaker 1: that we can work together to you know, move the
Speaker 1: common agenda forward. With that said, we're gonna wrap things
Speaker 1: up around here before we head head out. We're gonna
Speaker 1: want you to check out the website once again, civiccipher
Speaker 1: dot com to submit any questions the chair for the show,
Speaker 1: any show topics. All your donations are appreciated. This show
Speaker 1: is funded entirely by you, and so again donations are appreciated.
Speaker 1: You can do so again at civicsipher dot com and
Speaker 1: be sure to follow our social media at Civic Cipher.
Speaker 1: Q Where can they find you on social media?
Speaker 3: I'm on Instagram. I am qward.
Speaker 2: Same for Twitter, which I'm not as active there, but
Speaker 2: I'm there, so come by, say what's up?
Speaker 3: Where are you at fresh You.
Speaker 4: Know, I was thinking about making it shorter, but I'll
Speaker 4: figure it out, but for now on Instagram and Twitter
Speaker 4: at the dj f Maker just like it sounds, the
Speaker 4: DJ fresh Maker on Instagram and Twitter and listen.
Speaker 1: Following fresh Maker is.
Speaker 3: Enlightening, yeah, and empowering, encouraging.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of levity there too, a lot of
Speaker 1: hilarity there as well as a very entertaining person follow
Speaker 1: on social media. I'm I'm working on getting there. I
Speaker 1: just take pictures of my afro from different angles, but
Speaker 1: also great working on her.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: But you can follow me at Rams's jaw and keep
Speaker 1: up with me during the week, and of course you know,
Speaker 1: tune in next week, same time, same channel for more
Speaker 1: Civic Cipher and Until then, y'all take care of yourselves, okay. Peace,