1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,199 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast. 3 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 2: Host, and we got some great stories coming up. 4 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 3: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from 5 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 3: the sponsors that keep the show alive. 6 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,400 Speaker 4: I want to leave my fiance after my best friend 7 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 4: confess to me. 8 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:16,959 Speaker 1: Confess to you that your fiance is actually an alien. 9 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 4: Bigger warning homophobia. 10 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: Oh. 11 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 4: My thirty two female wedding is a bit over a 12 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 4: month away. Me and my fiance forty seven male, have 13 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 4: been dating since I was twenty six, and we were 14 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:34,160 Speaker 4: planning our wedding over this last year. My best friend, 15 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 4: thirty one female, lives pretty far away, but she has 16 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,560 Speaker 4: been helping me through FaceTime calls and an occasional visit 17 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 4: with my wedding plans and picking all the cute things 18 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 4: for it to be the perfect day. She was going 19 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 4: to be my maid of honor. By the way, this 20 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 4: comes from Spiritual Rough forty nine, twenty nine And if 21 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 4: you want to make your own stories, go to the 22 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 4: r slash Okay Storytime suppered. 23 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:58,280 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Michael Douglas, I'm Kean, I'm Dakota. 24 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice. Goofully Oh, we 25 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. 26 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,119 Speaker 4: Let us know what you would do in the common 27 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 4: and opisas. We have been best friends since we were 28 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 4: in our late high school years and went to the 29 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 4: same college, shared dorm, et cetera, basically as close as 30 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 4: we could get. My best friend is a sapphik, and 31 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 4: through my college years I identified as a by woman. 32 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 4: We never went further than a few kisses on a 33 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 4: night out, and I was never serious, or so I thought. 34 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 4: My best friend lives in a very queer friendly place 35 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 4: and has continued to engage with the community and live 36 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 4: as a queer life. I, however, kind of left that 37 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 4: behind in my college years, not saying being by as 38 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 4: a phase. Just after moving to a more conservative place 39 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 4: to live around my brother and getting a new job 40 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 4: and meeting my now fiance, that part of my life 41 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 4: kind of felt like a closed chapter that I did 42 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 4: not revisit often in my mind. During a late night 43 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 4: FaceTime call for all the planning and finishing touches with 44 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 4: my best friend, she confessed to me, Oh, it was 45 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 4: a deeper conversation than just that, reflecting on our young 46 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 4: lives together and all our experiences, how she has not 47 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 4: found anyone yet she has connected with. I told her 48 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,480 Speaker 4: that she'll find someone who will be the perfect match 49 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 4: for her, to which she kind of went silent for 50 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 4: a bit and asked if she could tell me something. 51 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 4: This led to a long confession of how she feels 52 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 4: she missed her chance with me, that she's sorry for 53 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 4: waiting until now to say it, but she needs to 54 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 4: get it off her chest, that being so far from 55 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 4: me has been painful for her and she didn't really 56 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 4: realize why until recently, and a lot more about her 57 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 4: love for me. It was kind of stunned. Didn't know 58 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 4: what or how to respond, but I did not say 59 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 4: anything negative. Just needed to process it as I feel 60 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 4: most people would do. I felt obligated to tell my 61 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 4: fiance the next day. I had not worked out my 62 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 4: own feelings about it yet, but I do not like 63 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 4: keeping secrets, so I felt like I needed to tell 64 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 4: him so he didn't find out like weeks later or 65 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 4: something and feel like I kept from him. He blew 66 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 4: up at me started accusing me of being a sapphic. However, 67 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 4: he did not use that word a slur in place 68 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 4: of it. 69 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: I'm bringing up yeah, slur me like that I'm breaking up. 70 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 4: So Op comes to you tells you, oh, hey, I 71 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,519 Speaker 4: just you know, need to get this so much chest. 72 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 4: My friend just confessed to me. And then instead of 73 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,079 Speaker 4: being like thank you for telling me, like how do 74 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 4: you feel about that? It wasn't even Op being like 75 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 4: I'm leaving you literally just being honest about what just happened. 76 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 4: You react with homophobia, discussing. 77 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,279 Speaker 1: Blur out of my laughing slur. 78 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 4: That I was leading him on, and just some gross 79 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 4: queer saying nasty things about my best friend too, and 80 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 4: calling your slurs as well. How I must have known 81 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 4: this the whole time. Immediate breakup. The whole situation was 82 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 4: so insane, so suddenly My fiance's temper has been extreme 83 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,839 Speaker 4: in the past, but never at the red flag. We've 84 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 4: got to keep an eye out for those red flags. 85 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 4: We have not ever really encountered any crazy bumps in 86 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 4: the road. Of course, we have had arguments, but nothing major. 87 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 4: I was aware he had a temperament though from other 88 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 4: arguments he had had with family. I said I needed 89 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 4: the bathroom and quickly rushed to call my brother before 90 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,600 Speaker 4: my fiance had any time to think, and asked my 91 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 4: brother to come and help me, kind of afraid of 92 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 4: my partner in the state he was in. My brother 93 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,679 Speaker 4: picked me up and thankfully avoided any harm for my fiance. 94 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 1: Makes me feel like this guy's probably been cheating or something. 95 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: Yeah and a react projection. It's not like you were like, yeah, 96 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: like I hooked up with this person. 97 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 4: Even I have feelings for this person. 98 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: It was like she confessed to right, just crazy. 99 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 4: Other than a few screams and a bang on his 100 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 4: car as he was driving away in a hurry. I 101 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 4: am in my brother's house now and have been for 102 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 4: a few days. My fiance has tried showing up multiple times, 103 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 4: even though we have asked him not to. My brother 104 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 4: is older than me and is definitely doing all he 105 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 4: can to protect me, which I'm super grateful for. I 106 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 4: feel like I obviously have to leave him. I know 107 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 4: it's crazy baiting this, but I guess before breaking it off, 108 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 4: I really do need to ask if it is wrong 109 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 4: of me. No, I am torn up and confused. I 110 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 4: understand that maybe this would make him upset. Maybe he 111 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 4: thinks I have had this secret affair or something that 112 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,479 Speaker 4: I have been withholding this from him somehow and should 113 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 4: have known she felt this way for me and abandoned her. 114 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 4: I do not know him. Reacting with anger is terrifying. 115 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 4: Him reacting with homophobia, he's terrifying. All of these things 116 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 4: are telling of what kind of person he is. 117 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: I've never heard someone go, you know, sometimes your partner 118 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 1: just slurs you. Yeah, sometimetimes your partner just cause you 119 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 1: a slur and yaels agen screams, and you know what, 120 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: it just means that they care. I have never heard that, 121 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: never heard it. 122 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 4: Regardless, I feel like I cannot stay with him because 123 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 4: of the way he talked about queer people. Sparked some 124 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 4: feeling in me that I felt I pushed down since 125 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 4: being with him. I'm very morally against homophobia. I mean, 126 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 4: I would hope so in general, but also because you're 127 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 4: a buy woman, and do not think I can tolerate this. 128 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 4: Even if he apologizes and makes things right. It unveiled 129 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 4: how I think he really feels, which is not okay 130 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 4: with me. He doesn't accept you as a person. He 131 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 4: doesn't accept your friend as a person. Yep, that's it. 132 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: This guy's bad. 133 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 4: I just feel so torn, worried I'll tell everyone I 134 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 4: cheated or something to gain sympathy if I do decide 135 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,720 Speaker 4: to leave. We live in a small suburban town. I 136 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 4: moved out here with my brother and it's how I 137 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 4: met my now fiance, So I'm really paranoid. This is 138 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 4: going to spread to my work colleagues too, and our 139 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 4: neighbors who have known him for his whole life. So 140 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 4: would I be the ale for leaving him after all this? No, 141 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 4: I feel so trapped in this small town to the 142 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 4: point where it feels like my life will explodes somehow 143 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 4: if I end it. Maybe I am the ahle and 144 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 4: should have noticed her behavior sooner and cut it off 145 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 4: with her. It is not your friend's fault. 146 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: This really just reads like you know, you know, but 147 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 1: you do want and should leave. But it's more like 148 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: I think you're looking for the strength to do so. Yes, 149 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: small town life exploding, blah blah blah. You know that 150 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: this is the right move, but hard. 151 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 4: I don't even think your friend did anything wrong, Like, yeah, 152 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 4: it's kind of like a wedding. 153 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: I do agree with that. Well, Gala's got a comment 154 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: that I hate people that you're just doing this right before. 155 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think that's good because. 156 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: It leads to the sort of intent of like, well, 157 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: is the reason that you're saying this right before my 158 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: wedding because you want the wedding to stop so that 159 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: now we can be together. It's like, I think the 160 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: timing is keep it to yourself. 161 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 5: I think the timing is bad, but it's almost good, yes, 162 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 5: because now you've. 163 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 4: Exposed exactly that's my point. 164 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: This that your husband is a just a horrific person 165 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: and this is not the life you want for yourself. 166 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, like in terms of your relationship with her that time, 167 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 4: in terms of just getting you out of the situation 168 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 4: and revealing a lot of terrible stuff. Good timing. 169 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: Update. 170 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 4: Some people privately messaged asking for an update first to 171 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 4: address a few things. My title or maybe the way 172 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 4: I wrote the last post may have come off the 173 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 4: wrong way. Not leaving my husband for her and leaving 174 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 4: him over his reaction. 175 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 1: That did not come off that way at all. Yeah, no, 176 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: zero percent did that come off that way. Of course, 177 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: there are people in the comments being like, of course 178 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: you're leading your husband, but. 179 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 4: Woman, he was a line of that you and it'll 180 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 4: be continues. When I told my fiance what she told me, 181 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 4: I didn't pose it as a breakup or like I 182 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 4: was rethinking our marriage. I was telling him in a 183 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 4: way to imply I wanted some support in uninviting her 184 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 4: to the wedding, since I didn't want someone who was 185 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 4: in love with me, even my best friend there on 186 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 4: the day I was committing my life to someone else. Yeah, 187 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 4: if this was a normal relationship and someone confessed to 188 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 4: you right before your wedding, then yeah, I'd be like, 189 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 4: probably should be at the wedding. Probably affects our relationship, 190 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 4: but in this case, totally different. So no, he didn't 191 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 4: lash out because I gave him the info in a 192 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 4: way where he thought I was questioning getting married. I've 193 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 4: now seen in other posts that people fake name people 194 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,520 Speaker 4: in the story, so it's easier to understand. So from 195 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 4: now on, my fiance's name is Ian forty seven male, 196 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 4: and best friend's name is Sarah, thirty one female. So 197 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 4: it's been around two weeks since everything went down. Ian 198 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 4: gave me a big scare and was being pretty terrifying 199 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 4: after I told him Sarah had told me she had 200 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:36,319 Speaker 4: feelings for me. 201 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,719 Speaker 1: Clear some things up. 202 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 4: Typically, me and Sarah would have these wedding planning video calls. 203 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 4: Apart from the few times she came to visit while 204 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 4: I was sat in the living room or dining room. 205 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 4: If Ian wanted to watch the TV, you would pitch 206 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 4: in with his ideas. I wasn't hiding at a basement 207 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 4: or anything. Sarah has visited us multiple times with partners 208 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 4: she had and alone. I thought Ian liked her and 209 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 4: had no problems. Some people ask if he was aware 210 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 4: of my past with her, and yes he was. We 211 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 4: prided ourselves on openness, and Ian shared a lot about 212 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 4: his past with me. He has a few exes he's 213 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 4: in contact with who live in our small town that 214 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 4: he's grown up in, and he knew about my relationships 215 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 4: and experiences with girls in my college years outside of Sarah. 216 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 4: I know you didn't see this thing as a phase, 217 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 4: but I think he absolutely did. I think he saw 218 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,319 Speaker 4: your binness as a phase. 219 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 2: It was never a phase. Ian. 220 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think he was just like, oh, that was 221 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 4: a phase, so it's fine, I can marry you, and 222 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 4: I don't you know it doesn't affect me when in reality, 223 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 4: that's just who you are, that is your identity. And 224 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 4: now he's realizing that and is being like, oh, gotta 225 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,719 Speaker 4: put on the homophobia. It's never seemed like a big 226 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 4: deal to either of us. I thought. He tried showing 227 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 4: up multiple times attempting to get into the house. He'd 228 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 4: bang on the door, look in the windows to try 229 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 4: and look for me, shout from the porch to let 230 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 4: him in. He was quite scary, and I'm a naturally 231 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 4: parano so this was really anxiety provoking. He was leaving 232 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 4: nasty voicemails, hundreds of messages. It was a lot. I 233 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 4: answered very few times in the beginning when I thought 234 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 4: we could patch things up, and was convincing myself that 235 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 4: maybe things could be fixed though telling him how I 236 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 4: was sorry if I ever made him feel uncomfortable in 237 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 4: my friendship with Sarah, that I wished he'd inform me 238 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 4: if this entire time he was uncomfortable with us having 239 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,200 Speaker 4: a small history, and that I didn't want him to 240 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,080 Speaker 4: think I knew. 241 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,719 Speaker 5: This whole time she loved me because I didn't all 242 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,839 Speaker 5: of this because someone else said they had feelings for you. 243 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 4: I'm sorry you apologized to him. 244 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:39,960 Speaker 2: What are you apologizing for? 245 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 4: You apologize to him? Honestly? Wow, I mean, like, I 246 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 4: understand that I think you're going through a lot and 247 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 4: you're probably reeling, but like the things that he said 248 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 4: about you and your friend. Again, your friend is like 249 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 4: in the wrong for the timing of when she confessed 250 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 4: to you, but that doesn't mean that she deserves to 251 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 4: have a bunch of directed. 252 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 1: Every way and you exactly. 253 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 2: That's my point. 254 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 4: It's like, not only is it you, but I think 255 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 4: sometimes it's hard to you know, there. 256 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: Needs to be a tumor involved for this to have 257 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,320 Speaker 1: been okay in any way. 258 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 2: The switch flipped immediately, and then he went tiny, big brain. 259 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 4: The thing is that I think that it's kind of 260 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 4: the thing of like, you know, parents supporting other queer 261 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 4: children but not supporting their own. It's like, oh, yeah, 262 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 4: I'm fine with it if someone else is doing it. 263 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 4: But the second that there's any hint of is fiance 264 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 4: being queer, He's like. 265 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 2: Oh, it's just crazy to be like, how is this 266 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,839 Speaker 2: never really not necessarily prolific in your relationship? But the 267 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 2: house is never brought up or I think. 268 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 4: I think, yeah, people hide it well until it seemingly 269 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 4: affects them. 270 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, weird. 271 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 4: You never made passes on me, gave me hints or 272 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 4: any type of things like that. Before her confession. All 273 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 4: of my apologies were met with more slur calling, more 274 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 4: angry voicemails, and a lot of misogynistic things. But how 275 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 4: I was less of a woman for thinking I needed 276 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 4: anyone but a man. 277 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: Weird. 278 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 4: Women are confused. This guy is disgusting and need to 279 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 4: be dominated and put in their place by a man. 280 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,839 Speaker 1: Oh wow, man, it's disgusting that. 281 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 4: My past with women outside of Sarah disgusted him, and 282 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 4: I should be begging for forgiveness and cut off any 283 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,439 Speaker 4: queer friends I had because they were clearly like parasite. 284 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: Wow, that is disgusting. This guy is just like and 285 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,360 Speaker 1: had a crush on a dude one time and had 286 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: no idea how to deal with it and turned into 287 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 1: a giant pigot. 288 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,680 Speaker 2: That and that's Opie's just like the tip of the iceberg. 289 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 2: We're not giving you the full details here. That's crazy. 290 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 4: Now, this is where I stopped responding because that moment 291 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,599 Speaker 4: snapped the tether of our relationship. 292 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:43,280 Speaker 2: That's the moment. 293 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 4: I think maybe op he just got to a. 294 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 2: Point where it was it was like it was hanging 295 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 2: by like a floss. 296 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 4: I could understand, I'm getting angry. Maybe he let resentment 297 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 4: build and just broke down. However, his extreme homophobia made 298 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,080 Speaker 4: me realize this is not the person I want to 299 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 4: be married to. He had many talks about political issues 300 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 4: all these years. He was always in agreement with me 301 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:07,000 Speaker 4: about queer rights. Love is love, the whole lot. Wow 302 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 4: again called it's yeah, it's it's when it affects you 303 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 4: that people change. And regardless of if he says sorry 304 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 4: now for lashing out at me, I now know his 305 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 4: true feelings on equality and how he views not just me, 306 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 4: but all queer people. Ian never once apologized for anything 307 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 4: he said. There was no pleading for me to come back. 308 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: He seemed to believe he was completely in the right 309 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 4: for how he treated me that day, which I just 310 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 4: can't live with. So I devised with my brother how 311 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 4: best to proceed. It wasn't comfortable meeting with Ian in 312 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,520 Speaker 4: public because of his previous history of physical violence towards 313 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 4: family members in disagreements. Really keep an eye out for 314 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 4: those red flags, those blazing red flags that you've mentioned 315 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 4: throughout this post. 316 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: You've got a little bit of it for color blindness 317 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: going on here, I think. 318 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 4: And I wasn't comfortable with him coming to my brother's 319 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 4: house because I refuse to allow a man acting this 320 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 4: irrationally into the home my niece lives in. I won't 321 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 4: create that environment for so, he settled on text. I 322 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 4: won't bore you with the entire thing, but my main 323 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,320 Speaker 4: points for that I'm leaving him, not for Sarah, not 324 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 4: for anyone but myself. That the behavior he displayed on 325 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 4: that day was scary, and the way he got up 326 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 4: in my face and started knocking things over and looked 327 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 4: as if he was getting angry enough to make physical 328 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,520 Speaker 4: attacks on me wasn't something I could live with. 329 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: Well, at least we have that clarity. That's good that. 330 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 4: I can't be with the person with the morals he 331 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 4: displayed towards queer people, even if he said sorry, the 332 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 4: rants he went on during messages were disgusting and made 333 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 4: me realize he's not the person I want to be with. 334 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 4: And lastly, that his previous offer of getting therapy only 335 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 4: after he got married a while ago now after a 336 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 4: physical altercation he had with one of the members of 337 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 4: his family, was not good enough for me anymore, and 338 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 4: I didn't want to be legally tied to him before 339 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 4: he decided to get help he clearly needs for his 340 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 4: anger issues. After I sent the message, I began calling 341 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 4: off things for the wedding. One of my only close 342 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,960 Speaker 4: friends in town that wasn't tied to me through Ian 343 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 4: offered to drive me around to the different local stores 344 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 4: we had placed orders with to cancel them. I knew 345 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,240 Speaker 4: this would cause talk in the town, since we're a 346 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 4: semi small population and everyone pretty much knows everyone, but 347 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 4: at this point I was too exhausted to care if 348 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 4: people gossip about it. That's just human nature, and I 349 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 4: can't control what story Ian decides to tell people. That's 350 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 4: his cross to bear. I've gotten no responses from him 351 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 4: radio silence, other than a red receipt almost immediately after 352 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 4: I sent the text confirming he has seen it. All 353 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 4: I've gotten is unsavory messages from his mother saying similar 354 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 4: things as he did before, about how I need to 355 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 4: bow my head to him and be a good woman, 356 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 4: that men are naturally aggressive, what and then I needed 357 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 4: to accept him for who he was. 358 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: Like we're just Chippanzas. 359 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 4: I hate that. Yeah, I hate that logic of like, oh, 360 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 4: men are just naturally Like It's like, no, I don't know, 361 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 4: Like you think that you're both better and also just 362 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 4: like an animal. You know, it's weird, so I assume 363 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 4: she and the rest of his family know we've called 364 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 4: things off. I've left him to inform his side the 365 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 4: family about that. None of them have sunk any money 366 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,640 Speaker 4: into our wedding, thankfully, so there is no conversations needed 367 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 4: to be had about refunding people for anything, apart from 368 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 4: people from my side who I've dealt with already. My 369 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 4: brother and his friend drop by Ian's house while he 370 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,959 Speaker 4: was at work and got all of my things, triple 371 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 4: checking they got everything before leaving my key to his 372 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 4: house on the table with the note we bought some 373 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,719 Speaker 4: expensive things as a couple, but I honestly have no 374 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,840 Speaker 4: energy to fight over who gets to keep what he 375 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 4: can keep the whole lot, as long as it means 376 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,200 Speaker 4: I don't need to be alone in a room with 377 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,639 Speaker 4: him again. I didn't ask them to take anything I 378 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 4: didn't buy fully myself, or anything that wasn't a gift 379 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,720 Speaker 4: to me, because I didn't want to give him any 380 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,640 Speaker 4: ammunition to show up demanding anything back so we could 381 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 4: get any angrier. Now. I've rescheduled my time off with 382 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 4: work that I had arranged for a month for my 383 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,359 Speaker 4: wedding for now stay able to get money back for 384 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:03,880 Speaker 4: flights I booked for my parents and Sarah to come 385 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 4: for the wedding, and I'm now using that money to 386 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 4: fly to the city I grew up in to stay 387 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,919 Speaker 4: with my parents for some emotional recovery and while I 388 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 4: work out what I'm going to do now that I 389 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 4: don't have my own place in town, may decide to 390 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,199 Speaker 4: move back to the city, since I'll just end up 391 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,640 Speaker 4: bumping into Ian all the time in town and I'm 392 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 4: not sure I want to live like that. I think 393 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 4: you need to move. I honestly, I think this town 394 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,360 Speaker 4: is too small, too conservative. I think you need to. 395 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 2: Move good for this town, Hopey. 396 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,719 Speaker 4: So that's all that happened up to this point. I 397 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 4: have my flight booked, my parents' supports, and my friend's 398 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 4: support as well, which has been greatly needed in this time. 399 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,880 Speaker 4: Being able to connect with all my old friends who 400 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 4: I was really distance from. Living out here will be 401 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 4: really good for me, and many people have been messaging 402 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 4: me and offering me their places to stay when I 403 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,200 Speaker 4: fly out and support. For updates on Sarah, there isn't 404 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 4: much to tell. I've spoken to her quite a bit 405 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 4: through this time. She's been very apologetic and feels like 406 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 4: this was her fault, and she's helped send out things 407 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 4: to people letting them know the wedding has been called off. 408 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 4: I haven't really addressed her feelings towards me yet, or 409 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 4: even at time to give it any thought to how 410 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 4: our friendship will go on, or if she'll need any 411 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 4: space for me if I reject her. But I honestly 412 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 4: can't think about any romantic relations with anyone right now, 413 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 4: and I'm not sure i'll be able to for a while. 414 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,679 Speaker 4: She clearly gets this has been a crazy time for me, 415 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 4: and I'm sure I'll be able to actually speak to 416 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 4: her about it properly once I get to the city 417 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 4: and hopefully we can sort things out from there. I 418 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:31,400 Speaker 4: won't be dating anyone anytime soon, Sorry to anyone who 419 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 4: thought I'd romantically run into her arms at the airport 420 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 4: and immediately date her. There is a little bit left. 421 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: But anywhere else, live, anywherewhere else. 422 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,360 Speaker 4: I think it's also a great idea to not get 423 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 4: into any relationships right now. I mean, I you know, 424 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 4: I'd love for you and Sarah to run off into 425 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 4: the sunset together, but also I would love for you 426 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 4: to heal from your relationship trauma before we do any 427 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 4: of that. 428 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, take a breather, long breather. 429 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're abos to get married. 430 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 2: To the Take a breather, Give yourself a vacation, take 431 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 2: all the time you'll want. You don't need to be 432 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 2: in a relationship with anybody but yourself, BREU. 433 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 4: But it is a little bit more. That's all for 434 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 4: me now. I'm thankful it seems the ending of the 435 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 4: relationship from my end hasn't been met with anything but 436 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 4: silence for me in outside of his mother's messages. He 437 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 4: probably knows that I'm serious and there's likely no arguments 438 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 4: left in him after the hundreds of texts and voicemails 439 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 4: he sent me. Those things made me think he'd continue 440 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 4: after I ended things, but he didn't. I'm thankful that 441 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,640 Speaker 4: he seems to have just accepted it from my point 442 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 4: of view and hasn't been barred in me with anything 443 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 4: so far. I hope that behavior continues. He has to 444 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 4: the person who said to me that if I was 445 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 4: to stay with him, what if we had queer kids? 446 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 4: Do I really think staying with this person will benefit 447 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,680 Speaker 4: my life and our kids' lives. If I choose to 448 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 4: stay with him and have a family. Your comment really 449 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 4: helped me and made me realize that I simply couldn't 450 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 4: have kids and legally tie myself to him because I 451 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 4: don't want any future children of mine to live in 452 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,239 Speaker 4: a place where they might fear coming out. Thank you 453 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 4: for your comment. It really helped me see the bigger 454 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,080 Speaker 4: picture of what I was choosing for mine in my kids' 455 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 4: lives if I chose. And that is the end of 456 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 4: that story. And I'm glad that you could. 457 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 1: Ever choose to stay at all. 458 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 4: I also don't with a person who just like hates 459 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 4: your identity, but you are not choosing Tuesday, so that's. 460 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: Great your identity, but also with that mindset of his, 461 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 2: like I didn't even want to repeat what the. 462 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 4: Mindset was so disgusting, Like you have. 463 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 2: To hear to me because I'm a man. 464 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,439 Speaker 4: Yeah, discusting. I'm glad that you were out of that, 465 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 4: and I hope that you find yourself and you find 466 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,200 Speaker 4: a better place and you have a support system that's 467 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 4: better than him, which I mean really anything's better than him. 468 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,880 Speaker 4: So that's the end of that story. You yourself op 469 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,760 Speaker 4: so true, And we've got another one coming and write. 470 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,639 Speaker 1: Up My boyfriend switched his relationship status from me to 471 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 1: his female friend. 472 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 4: What sounds like he's your ex boyfriend. 473 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 1: I twenty female feel really terrible right now. My boyfriend, 474 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: Michael twenty mail and I have been dating since April 475 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,120 Speaker 1: twenty ten, when we were in eighth grade, so for 476 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 1: just over six years now. Up to this point, we 477 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: have had an amazing relationship. We are each other's best 478 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 1: friends through and through. You've definitely had our ups and downs, 479 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,640 Speaker 1: but we've never officially broken up. We've always worked through 480 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 1: any issues we had, and he's never given me a 481 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,199 Speaker 1: reason to distrust him until now. By the way, this 482 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 1: comes from user mad p eighteen sixty five, and if 483 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 484 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,360 Speaker 1: our slash Owcay story time subburn it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, 485 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 1: I'm ke On, and we are here to give you 486 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,639 Speaker 1: good advice goofully, but we don't have all the answers, 487 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: so if you would do something different, let us know 488 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 1: in the comments. And no Peace says. We go to 489 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 1: different colleges. We're about six hours apart from each other 490 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 1: for most of the year. Spring break of last year, 491 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 1: my freshman year, I went to his college to visit him, 492 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: and I met his friend Kayla twenty female who was 493 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,080 Speaker 1: very close to him. Yet he had never mentioned here before. 494 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,800 Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting him to, and I'm not that jealous 495 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: girlfriend that won't let her boy fpy friends with other girls. 496 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 1: But given her behavior, I thought that me not knowing 497 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 1: about her was suspicious. She was very nice to me, 498 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: but she was openly flirty with Michael, even in front 499 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 1: of me. Yeah, this is one of those stories of 500 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: a relationship that doesn't survive college. 501 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, this is a relationship with the eighth grade. 502 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 4: Doesn't discredit your pain or the fact that he has 503 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 4: hurt you, but it is just like, this is a 504 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 4: relationship that's been going on since eighth grade. You were 505 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,919 Speaker 4: both very young, and I've seemingly grown apart. 506 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: In that time. 507 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 4: And yeah, it's time, I think, like to find someone 508 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,360 Speaker 4: who you can grow with. 509 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: Baba. Yep, this guy, he was touchy with him, to 510 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:41,120 Speaker 1: mean suggestive comments, et cetera. Michael always looked extremely uncomfortable 511 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 1: and he never flirted back, but he never told her 512 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,760 Speaker 1: to stop either. Several days into my visit, I confronted 513 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,960 Speaker 1: him about this, and I asked him if she knew 514 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: I was his girlfriend. He said yes. I told him 515 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: that her behavior was crossing the line and that he 516 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: needed to set boundaries with her, starting with telling her 517 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 1: to cut it out. He apologized and said he would. 518 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,159 Speaker 1: After that, Kayla stopped flirting with him in front of me. 519 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: But the day I left to go back home, she 520 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 1: said one thing to me, and I remember her exact words. 521 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: You know, there was no need to worry. Don't you 522 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: trust him? That kept swimming around and around in my 523 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,160 Speaker 1: head for weeks on end. He said it so cattily, 524 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: and it was coming from her, of all people. I 525 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 1: tried to shake it off and not think about it, 526 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: but it was really hard. She just said it in 527 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: a way that sounded so, I know something you down 528 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: get out of her, lady. Yeah. Well, apparently her stink 529 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: was the stink for Michael. Stank just right for him. 530 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,080 Speaker 1: You don't shame people's stank. 531 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 4: That's so like what you said. 532 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 1: I'm shaming you. 533 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 2: I shame your stink. All the time. 534 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: I told Michael about it, and he said not to 535 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 1: worry about it. She was always saying things like that. 536 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,199 Speaker 1: I kept pressing it, but he insisted that it was 537 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 1: nothing more than just a jealous comment, so I dropped it. 538 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: Time passed and Kayla added me on Facebook and I 539 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: accepted just to be friendly. This was when I started 540 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: seeing a lot of posts about her and Michael that 541 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: never came up on my feed before, because Michael never 542 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: posted about things they did together. They went to the 543 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 1: movies together, they went to games together, they went to 544 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,879 Speaker 1: concerts together, they went everywhere. In every post, Kayla added 545 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,159 Speaker 1: a caption that had a nickname. For a minute, I 546 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 1: could tell it was a special nickname because she used 547 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,119 Speaker 1: it every time. In the pictures, I saw that Michael 548 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: always looked silently uncomfortable. He always had a weak smile 549 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 1: on his face. I know his uncomfortable facial expression, and 550 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: he was always wearing it in those posts. Yeah, uncomfortable 551 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: because he's like, Ooh, my girlfriend's gonna see this post 552 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 1: of my girlfriend. H Yeah. 553 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm uncomfortable. 554 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get exposed as having another girlfriend. 555 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 4: H to be the two girlfriend man. 556 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:59,240 Speaker 1: Ooh, they call me the two girlfriend guy. Ooh. I 557 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:02,399 Speaker 1: felt somewhat paranoid, but I didn't say anything because I 558 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,239 Speaker 1: didn't want to come off as the jealous girlfriend who 559 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: can't trust her boyfriend. Because he has a close female friend. 560 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: I also didn't unfriend Kayla because if I did, it 561 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: felt like drama would ensue. About half an hour ago, 562 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 1: I was scrolling through and I saw that Michael changed 563 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 1: his relationship status. Before it was in a relationship without 564 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: any specific person mentioned mine the same way, but now 565 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,959 Speaker 1: it says in a relationship with Kayla, it's over right, 566 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: it's jover. It's a show over. 567 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,520 Speaker 4: That's how you break up with people. You just say, oh, 568 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 4: change my Facebook status. 569 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 2: I feel like that's what it used to be back 570 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:36,919 Speaker 2: in the day. 571 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, someone looked on the Facebook and they were like, 572 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 4: we know back in the day book, Yeah, they didn't 573 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 4: text you to break up with you, They just changed 574 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 4: their Facebook. 575 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 2: Do you remember that way? Like people were like, it's complicated. 576 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 1: I remember these. 577 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,920 Speaker 4: I have never used Facebook in like an actual way. 578 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 4: I have a Facebook because I have that one. 579 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 2: It's like when you announce that you are no relationship 580 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 2: with somebody. Yeah on Facebook, everyone wan crazy in heights. 581 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 2: Never like, oh my god, they practically proposed like they're 582 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,199 Speaker 2: married now. 583 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 1: It was a big deal. Felt like my heart dropped 584 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,399 Speaker 1: down into my stomach. The post was made ten minutes 585 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 1: before I saw it, and there were already several comments 586 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 1: on the post. I clicked to look at them, and 587 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,080 Speaker 1: the first few comments were people saying congratulations and about 588 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: times and things like that. 589 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's what it is. Everyone goes crazy. 590 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: I don't know any of the people who made these comments. 591 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 1: The second to last comment was Michael and it said 592 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 1: a joke. Guys, it's a joke. Don't take Kayla seriously, Kayla, 593 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: I hate you. And the last comment was Kayla saying 594 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,879 Speaker 1: ha ha ah, sweetheart, dobe in denial, winky face, and 595 00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 1: ten people liked your comment? 596 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 2: Is giving me such internet PTSD like Facebook PTSD back 597 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,639 Speaker 2: in high school days, the old days of. 598 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: The olden eras. 599 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 2: I was there during the text. 600 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,399 Speaker 1: I stared at that post for what felt like an eternity. 601 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: Then I checked my phone and I have several texts, 602 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 1: all from my friends and one from my mom, dad, 603 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: and sister, all of them asking you why Michael changed 604 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: his relationship status. And I haven't answered any of them yet. 605 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,800 Speaker 4: How old is this post? 606 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 1: Michael hasn't texted me. It's from twenty sixteen. 607 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, that's actually pretty recent for this to all 608 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 4: be happening on Facebook. 609 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,639 Speaker 2: This was on the decline. 610 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, two things. Is he cheating on me? Or is 611 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 1: this just a joke? As he said, No, he's cheating 612 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 1: on me. What do I do? Even if he's not 613 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: cheating on you, he's just like letting this Kla girl 614 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 1: run rampant through his life, which is the same thing 615 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 1: as like disrespecting your relationship. 616 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 4: He's disrespecting your relationship, and what do you do? You 617 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 4: break up with them? Then that's that. 618 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,720 Speaker 1: It's that easy, folks, isn't that. Michael is home for 619 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: the summer. So I went over to his house. I 620 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 1: knocked on the front door and Kayla opened the door 621 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: wearing a bathroom. 622 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:42,520 Speaker 4: So he's cheating on you. 623 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's over. 624 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 5: If it wasn't over now, it's definitely over now over. 625 00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:52,239 Speaker 5: If it wasn't over then, it ever now definitely wasn't over. 626 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 5: Now it's definitely over now. Kayla lives four hours away 627 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 5: from us. Its strayed away. 628 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: I asked her what she was doing there, and she 629 00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 1: smirked and said Michael wasn't home. I told her she 630 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 1: did get the wait. 631 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 4: I think it's even funnier if she's hacked Michael's Facebook 632 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 4: account and broken into his home all is an elaborate 633 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 4: ruse to make op think that Michael is cheating on 634 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 4: her and then try and steal Michael from her. Yeah, 635 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 4: Michael just doesn't know any of that. 636 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: Michael is just Yeah. I told her she didn't answer 637 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 1: my question, and her reply was I'm voted for the away. 638 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: I didn't have anything to say to that. I felt 639 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: absolutely destroyed inside. I turned around without another word and 640 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: started walking back to my car. He shouted after me, Sorry, 641 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: things had to end this way. F heard. Dude, Who 642 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,520 Speaker 1: the F is she to say that to me? He 643 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: was cheating on me? And there's an update. 644 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, not much to be done other than 645 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 4: break up, I suppose. Yeah, that's about it. That's my advice. 646 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 4: Breakup be done, get off Facebook for a. 647 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 2: While, danger your relationships. 648 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 4: It's complicated, complicated, and then we're good. We're solid. 649 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 1: Man. I'm just trying to think of like the proper 650 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: avenue of justice, Brope, How should justice be dispensed? I mean, honestly, 651 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 1: this Kala girl sounds insufferable, so in a way, him 652 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 1: having to date her is already. Yeah, he's gonna get 653 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: of itself. 654 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 4: It's like it's like dating your own personal torture. 655 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 1: It's gonna be awful. 656 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,480 Speaker 4: I don't think he's gonna be happy long terms girls crazy. 657 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,160 Speaker 4: He sucks too, and they can suck together. 658 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: WHOA, what are they doing? 659 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 2: What are they doing? 660 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 4: So I walked right into it. 661 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: Update Michael came to my house, Well get him out 662 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 1: of there. When I opened the door, I found him 663 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,840 Speaker 1: crying his eyes out. I asked him what was going on, 664 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: and this was all I heard, and he like closed 665 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 1: the door on him that he slept with Kayla just 666 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: before they left for winter break freshman year. She was 667 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 1: indeed visiting him, and he didn't tell me because he 668 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,600 Speaker 1: didn't know how to because he's a little cow would 669 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 1: baby boy. When I went to his house to talk 670 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: to him, he was indeed home. He was a very 671 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 1: very very very very very very sorry. 672 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 4: These people stink and I hope you don't let Michael in. 673 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know what, end them away. I'm 674 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: glad you stopped dating Michael because I'm pretty sure it's 675 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 1: illegal to date a baby. Yeah. Oh god. Here here's 676 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,640 Speaker 1: my impression of Michael. 677 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 4: Baby. My ear hurts because of his complaining. 678 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 1: He's a little tiny diaper baby, baby baby, and that 679 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: diaper is loaded. 680 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:38,720 Speaker 4: Oh, just like Roderick. 681 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,880 Speaker 1: I don't even know what to say to anyone in 682 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 1: my real life about this. My parents aren't home, my 683 00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,400 Speaker 1: sister isn't home. I haven't told any of my friends 684 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:49,479 Speaker 1: any advice now that it's true he cheated on me. Well, 685 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: you just break up with them to move on with 686 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,080 Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, update number two. I just texted him 687 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: it's over, so I've dumped him bazah and we have 688 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: some comments, but op he doesn't reply, So that is 689 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,239 Speaker 1: the end of that story. Yeah, it sucks to have 690 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: a breakup. It sucks to be cheated on. Yeah, the 691 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: good news is that you didn't waste any more of 692 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 1: your time on this pathetic little baby. 693 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 2: You just just play the potential breakup song by Ali 694 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 2: and Ajo. 695 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 4: Hey he cheats with the song. Nope, but we got 696 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 4: another story, folks, come right up. 697 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, we do it. It's right here. What about Hey, 698 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 1: it's Sam, your og host. 699 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,280 Speaker 3: Here. We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's 700 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,120 Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 701 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,760 Speaker 4: I accidentally proposed to my boyfriend last night and he 702 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 4: told me no. 703 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 1: Well it was an accident. 704 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 4: And this comes directly from the r slash Okay, storytime 705 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,320 Speaker 4: severed my thirty seven female boyfriend forty three male. We're 706 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 4: going to refer to him as Max and I have 707 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 4: been together for about seven months. Neither of us were 708 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 4: looking for a relationship, and we were only supposed to 709 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,800 Speaker 4: be friends but ended up being a bit more than that. 710 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Ready Disaster twelve forty eight, 711 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 712 00:32:58,280 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay Storytime. 713 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,840 Speaker 1: So, I'm Sofia, I'm Dakota, I'm Keon. 714 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,440 Speaker 2: Wow oh wow, oh wow oee. 715 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Ready Disaster twelve forty eight, 716 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 4: and if you want to smit your own stories, go 717 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 4: to the rslage Okay storytime Separate, I'm Sofia. 718 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: I'm Dakota. 719 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,440 Speaker 2: Oh, I get to say I get to say. 720 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: He's sassy, look at it, He's sassy. To say he's sass. 721 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 2: I'm Keon. And every time you guys mess this up, 722 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 2: I feel like you buy me a drink. 723 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 4: Anyway, We're here to give good advice, caothfully, but we 724 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. 725 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 1: You certainly know what we do. 726 00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 4: Let us know what you were doing. A comment and 727 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 4: no Pie says a little bit of background. We met 728 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 4: through my second ex husband, who I'll referred to as Jason, 729 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 4: interesting as they are cousins by marriage. Interesting. Max moved 730 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 4: in with Jason back in February. Around that time, I 731 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 4: broke up with my acts of six years and decided 732 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 4: that I wanted to be single for at least a 733 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,960 Speaker 4: year to find myself again. I don't have many friends, 734 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,080 Speaker 4: and I didn't realize how lonely coming home to an 735 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,480 Speaker 4: empty house can be, so I started hanging out with 736 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 4: Jason a couple times during the week. Max worked afternoon shifts, 737 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,439 Speaker 4: so we would only see each other maybe once a week. 738 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,200 Speaker 4: I decided to have a couple of drinks one weekend 739 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 4: after a crap week at work and called my ex 740 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 4: Jason to vent. Max was listening and contributing to the 741 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 4: conversation as I went on speakerphone, and just before my 742 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,719 Speaker 4: ex went to bed, we exchanged numbers and added each 743 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 4: other on social media. We talked until five am the 744 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 4: next morning on FaceTime, just about random things. The next weekend, 745 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,800 Speaker 4: Max and I decided to hang out at my house 746 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 4: and we ended up hooking up. I thought it was 747 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,360 Speaker 4: just going to be a one off thing because Max 748 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 4: is essentially at jack to the same gender with by tendencies, 749 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 4: as he likes to say. But we connected in so 750 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 4: many different ways and feelings began to slowly develop. I 751 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 4: realized that I was falling for him during a phone 752 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,720 Speaker 4: call that lasted from about nine pm to seven am 753 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:54,800 Speaker 4: the next morning. 754 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 1: That's going to be an indicator right there. Yeah. 755 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,239 Speaker 4: Max initially proposed being in a relationship while we were 756 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,840 Speaker 4: drinking about four to five months ago at my house. 757 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,440 Speaker 4: I asked him in the next morning, while we were sober, 758 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 4: if he meant it. He said he did, okay, but 759 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 4: he talked about it. 760 00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:13,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, mean it? Are you? 761 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 4: And then that was it. You started to introduce me 762 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 4: to the people most important to him in June and July, 763 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,840 Speaker 4: which indicated that things were starting to get more serious, 764 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,320 Speaker 4: especially after he asked my eight year old son first 765 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:27,800 Speaker 4: thoughts about us being together? 766 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 2: Oh dude, that's Jimmy. 767 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,840 Speaker 4: What do you think about your your mom? You mean 768 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:32,919 Speaker 4: me and your mom being together? 769 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,560 Speaker 2: Hey, little Jimmy, you want a new dad. 770 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 4: What do you mean your together? 771 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 1: What does that mean? 772 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 4: I don't know what it means. 773 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:44,280 Speaker 1: I got nothing to the Jimmy combo. 774 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,960 Speaker 4: He moved in with me in my spare room at 775 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,800 Speaker 4: the beginning of August, as he and Jason were starting 776 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,760 Speaker 4: to butt head. Interesting that you all moved in together, 777 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 4: But I mean, I guess, I mean, I'm always a 778 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,040 Speaker 4: proponent for separate rooms so you can have a little 779 00:35:58,080 --> 00:35:59,239 Speaker 4: bit of privacy. 780 00:35:59,400 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 2: Privacy. 781 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:00,839 Speaker 1: But obviously. 782 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 4: We had some ups and downs of learning how to 783 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,080 Speaker 4: live together and navigate our relationship, and we've been cohabitating well, 784 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,439 Speaker 4: which leads to last night. I've worked for twenty one 785 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:16,359 Speaker 4: days straight between two different jobs, and I've just been exhausted, 786 00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 4: as I sometimes have to work between eight to sixteen 787 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,120 Speaker 4: hours a day. Ax didn't realize that I worked that 788 00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 4: many days straight. We didn't even see each other yesterday 789 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,799 Speaker 4: before I came home to change and leave for my 790 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,359 Speaker 4: other job, and then I came home for the night 791 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 4: a little after nine pm. He has treated me better 792 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 4: than anyone else that I have been in a relationship with. 793 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,640 Speaker 4: He helps around the house, He's there for me emotionally 794 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,840 Speaker 4: encourages me to be a better person in mom Anne 795 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 4: loves me for who I am, faults and all, and 796 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 4: I feel the same way about him. Without really thinking beforehand, 797 00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 4: I was looking at him, and we're talking and just 798 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,840 Speaker 4: having a good time and unwinding. I sat on my 799 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 4: knees on the floor, looked up at him, and for 800 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 4: whatever reason, my brain and mouth kind of just accidentally 801 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 4: asked him to marry me. 802 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,760 Speaker 2: Huh, how does that accidentally happen? 803 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 4: I think it's the way that like you accidentally tell 804 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 4: people that you love them. 805 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,799 Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I never accidentally said will 806 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: you marry me to somebody. 807 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever accidentally said I love you 808 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 2: to somebody like that. 809 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 1: That's not really. 810 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,080 Speaker 4: He told me no, which kind of surprised me. He 811 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,879 Speaker 4: asked me why I wanted to get married and if 812 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,799 Speaker 4: anything would really change afterwards, I mean, other than legalities, 813 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 4: nothing would really change. I did ask him why I 814 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:36,920 Speaker 4: didn't want to, and he said that he just wasn't ready. 815 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:39,640 Speaker 4: That's fair. It's only been seven months. There is a 816 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,160 Speaker 4: little bit left to this story. I don't think this 817 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 4: is the end of your relationship. 818 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:45,040 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be. 819 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 4: I don't think it has to be. 820 00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:48,880 Speaker 1: But if it's weird after this forever, it might be. 821 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,600 Speaker 1: Maybe it really just depends on how y'all handle it 822 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:52,840 Speaker 1: and move I think. 823 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 4: You can handle it maturely. I think that he's not 824 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,319 Speaker 4: saying I don't want to be with you at all. 825 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,839 Speaker 4: He's saying, it's only been seven months. Let's see where 826 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 4: this goes. Yeah, we ended up at a little bit 827 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,960 Speaker 4: of a tiff afterwards, and I did bring up that 828 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,040 Speaker 4: I think he doesn't want to marry me because I'm 829 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,000 Speaker 4: not a man. Why did you bring that up? 830 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,759 Speaker 1: Well, because that's a fair thing to think potentially, But 831 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,399 Speaker 1: that has nothing to do really with you proposing after 832 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: seven months. It's more like, well you knew going into 833 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 1: this he literally was it him or y'all? Or did 834 00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: you agree that he's essentially a gay man with by tendencies? 835 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:25,799 Speaker 4: And I don't know. 836 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 1: I think that is. If that's the case, then well 837 00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,919 Speaker 1: maybe a relationship with you, is it something that's going 838 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,360 Speaker 1: to be in the realm of I mean, it's I 839 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,440 Speaker 1: don't think that's the issue here. I think that he's 840 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 1: said that he natural to have that thought though, I 841 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 1: think for. 842 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 4: Sure, but I don't think that's the issue here because 843 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,759 Speaker 4: I think that he said I am more attracted to 844 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 4: men usually, but like he's attracted O P. He wouldn't 845 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 4: be in a relationship with a p unless he was 846 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:50,880 Speaker 4: attracted to her. 847 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 1: But it's more of like, well, yeah, that could be why, 848 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,040 Speaker 1: but it's also only been seven months, you know. 849 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's more so that. And I did 850 00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,880 Speaker 4: bring up one of his exes that he did it 851 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 4: one point want to marry, which was wrong and unfair. 852 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 4: I'm just a little surprised as to how hard I 853 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,719 Speaker 4: took his rejection of my proposal. I'm just not sure 854 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,759 Speaker 4: where to go from here. I don't think just because 855 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,640 Speaker 4: he declined my proposal means the relationship is over. But 856 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 4: I think maybe I should just pull myself back a 857 00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,799 Speaker 4: little bit emotionally and prepare myself for the worst. I 858 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,880 Speaker 4: don't know, what do you think? 859 00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: No, I don't think that you should do that. 860 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 4: I think that you should have a conversation with him 861 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:25,800 Speaker 4: and say like, hey, was it just because you're not ready? 862 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,680 Speaker 4: Because I think I'm having a lot of insecurities, and 863 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,719 Speaker 4: I think that you were already having those insecurities. I 864 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,799 Speaker 4: think they were already festering. If you immediately brought it 865 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 4: up when you asked him to marry you after seven 866 00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:39,360 Speaker 4: months and then he had that reaction, I think that 867 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,880 Speaker 4: was already there. So we need to have that conversation 868 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,120 Speaker 4: and say I am feeling a little insecure because of 869 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,400 Speaker 4: these thoughts, and then he'll probably say, that's not it 870 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 4: at all. I am, like in the past, have been more, 871 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,719 Speaker 4: you know, percentage wise, attracted to men. That does not 872 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,960 Speaker 4: mean that I'm not attracted to you. It's just a 873 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,200 Speaker 4: timing thing. And I don't think pulling back is gonna 874 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,240 Speaker 4: be the answer. I think if you wanted to marry 875 00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 4: this guy, you need to have those hard conversations because 876 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 4: your relationship is not going to improve otherwise. That's my thoughts. 877 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,280 Speaker 1: Yes, those are good thoughts. 878 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 4: Thanks, But that's the end of that story. And we 879 00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,200 Speaker 4: got one more story coming write up. 880 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: Here's johnio og host here. We're gonna get back to 881 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,840 Speaker 1: the stories. But he's a quick three minute break of 882 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:24,320 Speaker 1: ass from our sponsors. I'm thinking of forgiving my cheating 883 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:29,080 Speaker 1: ex boyfriend Jo have some standards, Gosh, dang it. I 884 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,920 Speaker 1: twenty six female, was in a relationship with my ex, 885 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 1: twenty eight male for three years. When everything happened, I 886 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 1: was twenty three and he was twenty five. Overall, we 887 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,760 Speaker 1: had a really good relationship. Of course, like any couple, 888 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:45,440 Speaker 1: we had small fights or sometimes bigger ones, but nothing 889 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 1: that couldn't be solved. Honestly, I truly believed he was 890 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,480 Speaker 1: the one. I could see myself growing old with him, 891 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,839 Speaker 1: starting a family. And he even told me he was 892 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,400 Speaker 1: planning to propose. Like planning to repose and proposing are 893 00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,280 Speaker 1: two different things. 894 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,240 Speaker 4: Yep, I plan to learn Spanish. 895 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I also planned to learn Spanish. 896 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:05,239 Speaker 3: And here we are. 897 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:10,360 Speaker 1: Here we are boco Espanol between us durned s styl 898 00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,439 Speaker 1: bim Sofia. Wow you got further than me. By the way, 899 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:17,600 Speaker 1: this comes from user's status AD fifty four to ninety five. 900 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,080 Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go 901 00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 1: to the art slas Showcase story Times subbody. I'm Dakota, 902 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, and I'm Sam and I'm Keon, and we 903 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:26,920 Speaker 1: are here to give you good advice. Goofully, But we 904 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We really know what we do, 905 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,719 Speaker 1: so if you do some different, let us know when 906 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:35,800 Speaker 1: the comments and op says. But then I discovered something 907 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:39,920 Speaker 1: that completely broke my trust. He had this best friend 908 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:45,359 Speaker 1: with whom he exchanged daily spicy photos with lots of 909 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 1: noodles included, and had conversations about the spices, sleep and 910 00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: even talked about running away together daily. Daily, just the 911 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:56,360 Speaker 1: same cycle. 912 00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,440 Speaker 4: Every day says, oh, I just want to run away. 913 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,240 Speaker 1: To me, that was emotional cheating. 914 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:03,760 Speaker 2: Yes, that's emotional cheating. 915 00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: It might go a little further, just emotional is crazy. 916 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 4: Every day he tells me he wants to run away. 917 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,320 Speaker 1: I strongly suspect it was all so physical. 918 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:18,040 Speaker 3: Yeah wait, wait, wait, wait, just be clear together wa 919 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 3: woit just be clear? 920 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 1: This guy is sending daily noodles two of the best friends. 921 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 2: And saying they want to run away together. 922 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,480 Speaker 3: I mean that is both emotional cheating and cyber cheating 923 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 3: at the very least. Just let's just call it cheating cheating. 924 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,880 Speaker 3: I feel like it's one step like insertion. 925 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,359 Speaker 1: On Valentine's Day of the year we broke up. We 926 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,839 Speaker 1: were fighting over something silly. Instead of working things out 927 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,600 Speaker 1: with me, he went to see her at her mother's place. 928 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:54,239 Speaker 6: Wait, see the friends, girl, why are we now? Do 929 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,560 Speaker 6: get back together with this guy? What do you stayed 930 00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 6: with him through all of this? He wasn't eat her 931 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:01,799 Speaker 6: at her mother's house? 932 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 1: No, no, what the If you were telling me this 933 00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,719 Speaker 1: in person in front of me, I would literally be 934 00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:16,400 Speaker 1: like shaking you by the shoulders like, break up with 935 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,400 Speaker 1: this person. You look like a muppet. When do you 936 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,439 Speaker 1: do that? A few months later I found messages where 937 00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,520 Speaker 1: they were literally discussing meeting at her mom's house to 938 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:27,560 Speaker 1: have spicy sleep. 939 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,760 Speaker 4: You're gonna have spices sleep at your mom's house. 940 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,960 Speaker 1: Oh maybe she's got a nice bedroom. Yeah she cooks 941 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 1: for the maps. 942 00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:39,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, here you go, sweetie with quite an Appetitean sounded 943 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,080 Speaker 3: like you guys did a lot of work. 944 00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,799 Speaker 1: This whole thing went on for almost a year. Why 945 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:50,319 Speaker 1: we eventually broke up because of it? And where is 946 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:53,720 Speaker 1: your support system? Where your standard? Still? 947 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 3: Why are there people in your life saying leave shaking 948 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,680 Speaker 3: you like a muppet? Little lady, I will shake you muppet. 949 00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,000 Speaker 3: I will make you into muppet style. Still, we tried 950 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 3: to reconcile with one condition. He had to cut her 951 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 3: off completely. But he didn't. I told him very clearly, 952 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 3: there's no space for both of us. It's either me 953 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 3: or her. He chose to keep her in his life, 954 00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,960 Speaker 3: that option. God, he did, so you didn't stay with him? 955 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:23,680 Speaker 4: That's crazy. 956 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:24,640 Speaker 2: He's got to be hot. 957 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,120 Speaker 3: Also, just one technicality, there obviously was space for at 958 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 3: least a year. 959 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, you had made space for this, You allowed space 960 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:32,200 Speaker 1: for this. 961 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, you were the one. You were the arbiter of 962 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 3: that space. You like gave a little like a shepherding 963 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:37,760 Speaker 3: zone for that space. 964 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,400 Speaker 4: It was like La traffic or no Ali parking laws 965 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 4: when they're like you can, you can stay here from 966 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:47,400 Speaker 4: five am eight am, but then. 967 00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:52,320 Speaker 1: Arter no you and after you're getting told Yeah. Fast 968 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,719 Speaker 1: forward two years. I'm twenty six now he's twenty eight. 969 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 1: We're still in each other's lives. Why and recently bought 970 00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 1: a And he's been my biggest support through everything. What 971 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:05,040 Speaker 1: always there when I need help? 972 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess the devil's been my biggest supporter. 973 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,840 Speaker 1: What do you mean? I know he still has feelings 974 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,360 Speaker 1: for me and wants us to get back together. Honestly, 975 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,359 Speaker 1: I still have feelings for him too. My girl, we 976 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,560 Speaker 1: are moving on. You have a house now. I bet 977 00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,600 Speaker 1: you he wants to use it to cheat on you with. Yeah, 978 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:27,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm still gonna make dinner afterwards. He's 979 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,480 Speaker 1: gonna move his mom in your house. She can make 980 00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:33,200 Speaker 1: home cooked meals after he's done cheating on you. What 981 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,240 Speaker 1: are we even talking about? 982 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,360 Speaker 4: The thing is that, Opie, this man betrayed your trust 983 00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,880 Speaker 4: and cheated on you, and you were like, that's okay, 984 00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,120 Speaker 4: hey stop it. But that continued, and then you stayed 985 00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,160 Speaker 4: with him for a while, and then finally you were like, 986 00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,200 Speaker 4: you know what, there's only room in this town for 987 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,600 Speaker 4: one of us. He picked the other girl. And then 988 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,720 Speaker 4: you're like, well, I guess you can stay in my life. 989 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 4: Get him out of there. You got in your basement. 990 00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:00,200 Speaker 1: It's time for us to go to the back own 991 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:06,000 Speaker 1: store and by the most robust unit they have for sale. 992 00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm talking all the vertebraates. Yeah, he won through seed whatever. 993 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm a chiropractor. 994 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 3: I'm thinking like metal exoskeleton kind of vibe by the Wolverine. 995 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:22,600 Speaker 1: Here's the problem. Well, here's the here's Oh, here's the problem. 996 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,040 Speaker 1: We just got to the problem. 997 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:25,840 Speaker 4: Here's the problem, guys. 998 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:29,600 Speaker 1: The last time we talked about reconciliation, I asked him 999 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:31,959 Speaker 1: to prove that he had changed and that he wasn't 1000 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:36,520 Speaker 1: talking to her anymore. His response, he laughed and admitted 1001 00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 1: he still talks to her. 1002 00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 4: So there we have it. He asked for reconciliation. You said, well, 1003 00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,600 Speaker 4: you can't talk to her anymore. He said he is, so, 1004 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,879 Speaker 4: then move's no reconciliation. 1005 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,799 Speaker 1: I agree, Op doesn't feel that way. Ope says, now 1006 00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:50,520 Speaker 1: I feel stuck. 1007 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,279 Speaker 4: Why you can't keep giving your ultimatum. 1008 00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:56,560 Speaker 3: I feel like this is a person that is just 1009 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,879 Speaker 3: like stepping in quicksand intentionally like she's like, I want 1010 00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:00,600 Speaker 3: to be stuck. 1011 00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,919 Speaker 1: I want to fall through the sand and never move. 1012 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:07,160 Speaker 2: This time quick piece of spaghetti that you throw in 1013 00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,959 Speaker 2: the ceiling to Steve if it's good, and it's. 1014 00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:13,760 Speaker 1: Just it's just it's just probably their only real relationship. 1015 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:20,080 Speaker 1: Somehow they feel whatever circumstances, that that this is just 1016 00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: the only person that they can have, that this is 1017 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:27,480 Speaker 1: the only person for them. And I don't know why, 1018 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,360 Speaker 1: but that's how they feel. And it's not true. It 1019 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,040 Speaker 1: ain't true, says part of me wants to sit down 1020 00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:37,359 Speaker 1: and have a serious conversation with him, clear boundaries and rules. 1021 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:41,000 Speaker 1: If we ever try again, don't try again under this 1022 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,399 Speaker 1: guy is captain. I know. 1023 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,080 Speaker 3: I feel like she's just like touching a stove that's 1024 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,919 Speaker 3: on and it's like, oh, it's hot ow, And she's 1025 00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,000 Speaker 3: just like, wait, it's so hot? 1026 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,800 Speaker 1: Should I keep burning myself? And you keep choosing to 1027 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,480 Speaker 1: burn her stove? 1028 00:47:55,640 --> 00:48:00,160 Speaker 5: Kindly, Sandler kept cheating on her. 1029 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:04,640 Speaker 3: Old it would be doctor Curse movie that Oh my god, 1030 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,240 Speaker 3: this is the Curse movie. 1031 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 1: Your girlfriend has Amesia. All right, here we go. This 1032 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:10,880 Speaker 1: is part of you. 1033 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:11,680 Speaker 4: That's what this is. 1034 00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:13,719 Speaker 1: I want you to listen to this part of you, OLP. 1035 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:16,319 Speaker 1: Another part of me feels like he'll never change, and 1036 00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:18,920 Speaker 1: maybe the healthiest thing would be to move on completely, 1037 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:23,320 Speaker 1: maybe even with therapy to process all of this that. 1038 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,360 Speaker 1: I want you to listen to that on repeat. I 1039 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:27,920 Speaker 1: want you every day. 1040 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,480 Speaker 4: I want you to forget every other part of this 1041 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,440 Speaker 4: story and focus. 1042 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,040 Speaker 2: On that one sentence, get everything you know? 1043 00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,560 Speaker 1: What do you think Reddit? Is this worth giving another 1044 00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,359 Speaker 1: chance under strict conditions? Or should I accept that I'll 1045 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,000 Speaker 1: never let her go and finally move on for good? 1046 00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:45,840 Speaker 1: That one, that part. 1047 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,120 Speaker 4: I just would be like, you've never told us anything 1048 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:48,839 Speaker 4: good about this guy. 1049 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:52,400 Speaker 1: This man is a polar bear. And you're like, maybe 1050 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,839 Speaker 1: if I give the polar bear a lot of sort 1051 00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:00,719 Speaker 1: of enrichment activities and I create a really nice habitat 1052 00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,359 Speaker 1: for the polar bear, the polar bear won't want to 1053 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:03,840 Speaker 1: eat me. 1054 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, the polar bear is cute. 1055 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:12,160 Speaker 1: The polar bear, by its nature, will always try to 1056 00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:16,000 Speaker 1: eat you because you are to be eaten. And over 1057 00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:18,680 Speaker 1: the course of your relationship with this man, it has 1058 00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,520 Speaker 1: become clear that you are to be cheated on. So 1059 00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:25,560 Speaker 1: you don't deserve find a different guy. To be clear, 1060 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:25,920 Speaker 1: you do. 1061 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:26,800 Speaker 4: Not deserve any of this. 1062 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:28,560 Speaker 1: Now, need to leave. 1063 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 4: Don't subject yourself to it. 1064 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,200 Speaker 1: This is not a thing to be reconciled. Is the 1065 00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,880 Speaker 1: thing to be moved on from? Yeah, and may you 1066 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,960 Speaker 1: do that, dude? And don't you dare get back with 1067 00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:39,399 Speaker 1: this guy? 1068 00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:41,719 Speaker 2: No, just cut off contact with this guy. 1069 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,879 Speaker 4: But that is the end of that story. But we've 1070 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:47,120 Speaker 4: got some comments. Doish this episode off. 1071 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,120 Speaker 2: The comments are from the video I Banned my mom 1072 00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:52,279 Speaker 2: from seeing my daughter. This was posted on October fourth, 1073 00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,120 Speaker 2: twenty twenty five. This is gonna be the second story 1074 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 2: of that episode, so keep that in mind. Here's a 1075 00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,840 Speaker 2: quick little tilty are Opius a implicated, often hurtful history 1076 00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 2: with her stepmother. Share it. They've had ups and downs, 1077 00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:09,080 Speaker 2: sometimes rebuilding trust, especially around Opie's kids. Recent conflicts in as, 1078 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:12,919 Speaker 2: especially timed party invite, leaves Opie torn between keeping peace 1079 00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:17,799 Speaker 2: for her kids or protecting them from emotional manipulation. If 1080 00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,120 Speaker 2: you're curious to know the full story, you can go 1081 00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:23,239 Speaker 2: watch the full video, and we do have some comments here. 1082 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:25,839 Speaker 2: Do you guys remember the story? I don't, I don't, 1083 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,759 Speaker 2: I don't, but if you want to watch it, you know. 1084 00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:28,080 Speaker 1: Where to go. 1085 00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:33,160 Speaker 2: And we have a comment here by Gaysa Hoorda one. 1086 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,400 Speaker 2: I'm glad y'all are confused on story two because that 1087 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:39,200 Speaker 2: means you haven't experienced it. It is very normal for 1088 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,840 Speaker 2: abusers to be nice sometimes and love bomb you. 1089 00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,520 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that is true. I'm not confused about that. 1090 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,480 Speaker 3: Very feel abuse or relationships are not marked by their highs, 1091 00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,360 Speaker 3: but marked by their lows, like you like, usually abusive 1092 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 3: relationships to keep you, they give you like the sweet stuff. 1093 00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:57,760 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, that's the cycle of abuse, the cycle of abuse. 1094 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:01,120 Speaker 2: And we have another comment here by Louren Murdy. I 1095 00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:03,360 Speaker 2: am not seeing where Opie says they are to some 1096 00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:06,600 Speaker 2: extent responsible for the drama with the father's wife because 1097 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,719 Speaker 2: it sounds like she is one hundred percent the a 1098 00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,680 Speaker 2: hole and he's just as much a deadbeat as she 1099 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,600 Speaker 2: is a psychopath. I don't understand why Opie has any 1100 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:21,000 Speaker 2: contact whatsoever with those losers. Against that cycle, it's the cycle. 1101 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 1: It's not good. 1102 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:27,560 Speaker 2: And we have one final comment here by Summarine IZ 1103 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:31,319 Speaker 2: five SW Sammarine says, dang, the mom and the second 1104 00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:34,319 Speaker 2: story would have been great friends with my Momi faith. 1105 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,880 Speaker 4: Oh but those are the ends of those comments and 1106 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,839 Speaker 4: the end of this episode. So if you love us, 1107 00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:42,000 Speaker 4: make sure to subscribe. 1108 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,520 Speaker 1: We love you and see you