1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shondaland Audio in 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 1: partnership with iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 2: I tried to make embryo as it didn't work out, 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,480 Speaker 2: and we did one more round and we made one 5 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 2: every and we were like, yay, Okay. 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: Holy shit, Ricky, this has been the This has been 7 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: a fucking marathon. 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 2: This is the beginning. Oh it gets crazier. It gets 9 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 2: crazier because then the guy changed his mind about wanting 10 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 2: to have kids. 11 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 3: Oh it was quite a god. 12 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 2: It was the craziest. 13 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 14 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god. But it made me 15 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 2: realize I could do it on my own. I was like, 16 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 2: I can be a mom, I can do this, I 17 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 2: can do it, And so I just started on that 18 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 2: journey alone and better to know then I don't want 19 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 2: to have a child with someone who's not sure about 20 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 2: having a child. 21 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: Of course, not as heartbreaking as it was, I'm sure, yes, 22 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,239 Speaker 1: this is It. 23 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 2: Ended up being for the best what I was meant 24 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: to be. 25 00:00:55,720 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, hello, listeners, Welcome back to Katie's Crib. I'm honestly 26 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 1: just pumped because today's guests I just want to hang 27 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: out with Selfishly, I haven't seen her in so long. 28 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: I ran into her at a very fancy Netflix party 29 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: because she's on the show Wednesday. 30 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 3: Everyone is obsessed with this. 31 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 1: Show and I haven't seen it yet, but it looks incredible. 32 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: She plays Wednesday's therapist on the show. I am talking 33 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: about actress Ricky Lindholme. She has a son who is 34 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,479 Speaker 1: about to have a massive milestone birthday. I think he's 35 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,040 Speaker 1: about to turn one. His name is Keaton. She used 36 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: a surrogate. I want to hear all about her story. Also, 37 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 1: she's just the coolest And again, I just feel selfishly 38 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: lucky that I haven't seen her in a while, so 39 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: I get to hang out with her and catch up 40 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: with her here with all of you listening. Ricky Lindtolm 41 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: is an American actress, comedian, a musician. She's also known 42 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: as a singer and songwriter in the comedy folk duo 43 00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: Garfunkel and Oates along with Kate Machucci. She was nominated 44 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: for a Primetime Emmy Award for their comedy special Garfunkel 45 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: and Oats Trying to Be Special in twenty sixteen. Ricky 46 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,639 Speaker 1: also took on the role of the well meaning therapist 47 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: doctor Valerie Kinbot in Netflix's recent Adams Family series Wednesday, 48 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: and of course, she previously appeared in multiple films like 49 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: Million Dollar Baby, Fun Size, and Knives Out. In March 50 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, Lindholm revealed on Instagram that she had 51 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: welcomed her first child, a son, Ricky. I am so 52 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 1: pumped to see you and hang out. I'm so excited 53 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 1: that you're here. I'm so excited in congratulations that you're 54 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: a mom to your son. Yes, your son, Keaton just 55 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: turned one. 56 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, March first. He's the best. 57 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 3: I love that birthday. 58 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 2: Oh, it's the best he's got mineus March fifth, since 59 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: I was hoping for that. You can't What are you 60 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 2: gonna do? 61 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 3: What are you gonna do? 62 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: Tell me how you're feeling having a one year old? 63 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: Was it an emotional experience? 64 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: I think I felt the opposite of a lot of people, 65 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 2: where the second he was in my arms, I stopped 66 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 2: crying because I had just many, many years of everything 67 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 2: going wrong that when my surrogate was giving birth to him, 68 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 2: it was COVID. So I'm in the other room and 69 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 2: like the time during giving birth, I was absolutely convinced 70 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 2: he was not coming in the room, and I was 71 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 2: just like crying and crying, and when they handed him 72 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 2: to me, I was like, oh hi, stay there. It 73 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 2: was like this weird opposite where my surrogate, who I'm 74 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 2: very close with, was like, that's not the reaction I 75 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 2: was expecting. I was like me neither. I was just like, oh, 76 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 2: there you are. It was literally. 77 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: Like like it was like relief and everything made sense. Yeah, 78 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: everything you had been working for and all of the 79 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: trials and tribulations and the journey had everything just probably 80 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: became peaceful. 81 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 2: Yes, it felt like six years of like where are 82 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: my keys? Where are my keys? Then oh, there are 83 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 2: my keys. It felt like that he's in my arms 84 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh hi, I feel like I just 85 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: did all the tears beforehand, and then when I finally 86 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: got him, it felt it just was like a relief. 87 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 3: So your journey was so calm, so hard, Like I 88 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 3: didn't know any about this. I didn't even know any 89 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 3: of this was happening. Do you mind sharing not what 90 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 3: it was? What was going on? 91 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 2: When I was thirty four, I went in just to 92 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 2: get my fertility checked because they no one tells you 93 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 2: to do that. I wasn't dating when I was like, 94 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,039 Speaker 2: I'll just check and they're like, ooh, this is not great. 95 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 2: And I was like oh, and they're like, you need 96 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 2: to start freezing your eggs immediately. And so I did 97 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 2: it when I was thirty four. I did it three 98 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 2: times and it took that many times just to have 99 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 2: like a few number of eggs. Yeah, And I was like, whoa, 100 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 2: that is wow. Okay. 101 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: So I didn't expect that, and it was probably pretty 102 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: even that was it emotional? Was it like just a 103 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: hormonal shit show or it? 104 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,120 Speaker 2: By the third time, I was like, it's fine. But 105 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 2: the first time I was on tour with my band 106 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 2: Garfunkle and Notes, and so I was like, Kate has 107 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 2: a video of me shooting myself with hormones in the 108 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: Lax parking lot, and we. 109 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 3: Like, that's unfucking believable. 110 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,359 Speaker 2: I think I sort of like believed that thing of like, 111 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 2: well then you'll you know, it'll happen when it happens, 112 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 2: and you'll meet someone and all this stuff, and it's 113 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: things don't always just unfold, like like certain things in 114 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 2: my life have unfolded in ways that I am cann 115 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 2: you wouldn't even have imagined in like beautiful ways. And 116 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,359 Speaker 2: other things have been like, oh, that was not what 117 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 2: I thought. 118 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 3: How I thought I was going to go. 119 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 2: It was not how I thought I was going to go. 120 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: I just thought I was going to meet someone and 121 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 2: we were gonna get pregnant naturally and lotty dah, and 122 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 2: it was not. That was not in the cards. 123 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: So you do three rounds by VF to finally get 124 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: or egg extraction to finally get no excuse me, yeah, 125 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: to get out a good amount of eggs to store 126 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: for a while. And then when did you know it 127 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: was time or or you said you were on this 128 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,919 Speaker 1: like journey of six years. 129 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 2: So I met someone and I started dating this man. 130 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 2: By the way, I never thought I would get married. 131 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 2: I was like, I just I always wanted to be 132 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 2: a mom, but I was never marriage was never in 133 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 2: my plan. 134 00:05:58,240 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 3: I just was like I love that. 135 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 2: I would look at weddings and I wouldn't. I would 136 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 2: look at people with babies and I go oh, like 137 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 2: you know, your heart kind of goes yeah. I would 138 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 2: look at weddings and I go, oh, do I have 139 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 2: to do that? 140 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 3: Like it's not my thinging. 141 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 2: And so I was dating someone for about two years 142 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 2: and we were trying to have a baby, and we 143 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 2: like slowly realized kind of everything was wrong with me, 144 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 2: but just like they learned it by degrees. Oh, your 145 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: eggs don't work, your uterus doesn't work, you have endometriosis 146 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,760 Speaker 2: or whatever. But it was like a slow process to 147 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 2: figure all that stuff out. 148 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,359 Speaker 1: So you had always had endometriosis, had were you like, 149 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: I had no idea, no symptoms. 150 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 2: I have something called silent endometriosis. I had no symptoms 151 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 2: except infertility, so no one could quite figure out what 152 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:40,320 Speaker 2: was wrong. 153 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: That's so I don't think I've ever heard of silent endometriosis. 154 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,599 Speaker 1: A lot of times when we've had people on the 155 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 1: show who've had endometriosis, it's like when they're finally diagnosed, 156 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: everything makes sense. They're like, oh, this is why I 157 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: couldn't walk when I got my period when I was 158 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: a teenager. This is why I'm hemorrhaging. This is why 159 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: I've had infertility problems. But that is not your story. 160 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 2: No easy periods everything, I've like, never had cramps. I'm like, 161 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 2: I've been like just lucky nobody checked because it's a 162 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 2: hard thing to check for. You have to do like 163 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 2: a round of hormones and stuff, and they have to 164 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,679 Speaker 2: it's like a whole thing. If you don't have any symptoms, 165 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 2: they have to do a whole thing. And it turns 166 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 2: out I had it, but I ended up getting naturally 167 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 2: pregnant oddly with this man. And then thirteen weeks in 168 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 2: things started to really turn. They started to go really yeah, 169 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: the heart was growing in the wrong place, there was 170 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 2: there's just a it was just not They were actually 171 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 2: surprised that I held the. 172 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 3: Pregnant didn't miscarry. Yeah. 173 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 2: It was one of those weird things where the doctor's 174 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 2: like calling other doctors in the room check this out. 175 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, this is like the 176 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 2: worst moment of my life. And everyone's fest they're like, 177 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 2: we've never seen this. 178 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: And I'm like, great things you never want to hear 179 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: in a doctor's office. You want to be boring and 180 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: usual and great. You're good, get out of here. You 181 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: don't want anyone calling anyone saying we haven't seen this before. 182 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 2: Totally, and then they go, you have to go to 183 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,440 Speaker 2: genetic counseling. They sent me to the next room and 184 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,360 Speaker 2: they start telling me all this stuff and I'm like, okay, 185 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 2: so what do we do. What's the And they were like, oh, no, 186 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 2: this is not something that will make it. This is 187 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,559 Speaker 2: not an option. 188 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh oh right, dam I'm so sorry. 189 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 2: It was crazy. It was like a weird because it 190 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 2: was all going well until it wasn't. So I had 191 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 2: the DNC and it was botched, which is like so 192 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 2: we yeah, so it like it. They didn't get it out, 193 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 2: and it's called all retain products of conception. It's called 194 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 2: and so I had to have three procedures to get 195 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 2: it all out, and then I had a scarred uterus 196 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 2: and then I had to have uterine surgery and all 197 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: this kind of stuff. When I was like thirty eight. 198 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:49,040 Speaker 1: Did the three dncs? Is what caused your uterus to 199 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: have scar tissue? Well? 200 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 2: There was two dncs and then one just weird procedure 201 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 2: that I'd never heard of. I don't even want to say. 202 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: It was just weird. It was weird, and you're awake 203 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 2: for it. 204 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: It was it's a final shake, all out sweep, some 205 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: sort of sweep. 206 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 2: It's not good like that. 207 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 3: I like that word. 208 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 2: I'm like, why just the real sweep. But but your 209 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 2: body still thinks it's pregnant. 210 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: It's really confusing, and thirteen weeks is not little. Obviously 211 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: it's not twenty weeks, but still thirteen week. I had 212 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: a miscarriage at eleven and a half weeks and had 213 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: to have a DNC, and I was so floored by 214 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 1: how what havoc that reeked on my body? And I 215 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: didn't have a botched one and I didn't have three. 216 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 2: God, I'm so sorry you had to have that. Eleven 217 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 2: and a half weeks is so long in that's awful. 218 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,200 Speaker 3: Well, it's terrible, but I can't believe what. 219 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: It took me a long time to get over it 220 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: in terms of three months of crying out of nowhere, 221 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: like my hormones were all fucked up and crazy, my 222 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: boobs were killing me. 223 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 2: I felt like I was pregnant. 224 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, we were. But also I just can't believe you 225 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,839 Speaker 3: had to have multiple What happened was I. 226 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 2: Had the procedure and and then I was just feeling 227 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 2: really weird. But when you google stuff, it's like, oh, 228 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 2: you might get naxious, you might get that, but you 229 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 2: don't know exactly what's what. And I was driving home 230 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:13,400 Speaker 2: from my boyfriend's house and my fertility doctor was on Losienaga, 231 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 2: and I was driving up Losienaga and I pull over 232 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: and I start throwing up on the street and I'm like, 233 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 2: feel like this is bad. And I called the forticlactor 234 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 2: or not kind of like hey, I'm outside, can I 235 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 2: come in? And he was like, oh, you have to 236 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 2: go to the er right now. This is you have 237 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 2: retained products of conception. I went to Cedars just right 238 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 2: up the street, and you know, it was lucky enough 239 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 2: to have this amazing care. And then it just made 240 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 2: me so angry that in certain states, someone who has 241 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 2: this exact thing cannot If I didn't go, I could 242 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 2: have died. And someone in that situation in a different 243 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 2: state would not go to the er because of fear 244 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 2: of prosecution or whatever. And I just I can't believe 245 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 2: people are in that situation. 246 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:56,080 Speaker 1: Because the baby wasn't going to really be viable at all, 247 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: you got to choose in a way. 248 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: It's still crazy people in that situation like mine wouldn't 249 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 2: have counted because there isn't like it. Yeah, I yeah, 250 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 2: someone in that situation. It makes me very angry to 251 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 2: think about that someone in that situation because I got 252 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 2: all this medical care because I live in California. I know. 253 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 2: It makes me so enraged. 254 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:24,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, so upsetting so you go through horrible but necessary 255 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: abortion multiple times to get it right, and now your 256 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: uterus is scarred and beat up, and the chances of 257 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 1: you getting pregnant again and it being okay, I'm guessing 258 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: are slim. 259 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: To night they go lower. But then but my uterus 260 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 2: still looked fine. They didn't know about my indimetriss is yet. 261 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 2: So I get uterine surgery and then I got PRP 262 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 2: injected into my uterus and a different surgery, so it 263 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 2: kind of was looking better. And I got PERP injected 264 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 2: into my ovaries and my uterus. 265 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,600 Speaker 3: What's PRP platelet rich. 266 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 2: Plasma, which is what they injected into like athletes faces. 267 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like women facials Like it's like why Tom 268 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 1: Cruise looks like a bait? Yeah, like supposedly all these 269 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: actors are doing that shit. 270 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 2: Yes, it got injected into my reproductive system. And then 271 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 2: my reproductive doctor was like, you have some eggs? Do 272 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 2: you want to do this again? And then I was 273 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 2: like yeah, And so then I made embryos. 274 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a much more viable chance if you implant 275 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: an embryo, then you have and then of just frozen 276 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: eggs that aren't mixed with sperm. 277 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 2: I tried to make embryos. It didn't work out, and 278 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 2: we did one more round and we made one every 279 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: and we were like, yay, Okay. 280 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: Holy shit, Ricky, this has been the This has been 281 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: a fucking marathon. 282 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 2: This is the beginning. Oh, it gets crazier. It gets 283 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 2: crazier because then the guy changed his mind about wanting 284 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 2: to have kids. Oh it was quite a god, it 285 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 2: was the crazies. 286 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 287 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god. But it made me 288 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 2: realize I could do it on my own. I was like, 289 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 2: I can be a mom, I can do this, I 290 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 2: can do it. And so I just started on that 291 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 2: journey alone and better to know then I don't want 292 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 2: to have a child with someone who's not sure about 293 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,439 Speaker 2: having a child. 294 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:10,440 Speaker 1: Of course, not as heartbreaking as it was, I'm sure, yes, 295 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: this is. 296 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,959 Speaker 2: It ended up being for the best what I was 297 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 2: meant to be. Yeah, And then I ended up implanting 298 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 2: embryos that I made with a sperm donor and then 299 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 2: carried those because I had ender betrioss. So miscarried those 300 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 2: and I'm out of eggs. 301 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: Far along or you miscarried them right in the beginning, 302 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: like they didn't even implant. 303 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 2: It's better for their it's better than for their own. 304 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, was it easy for you to find a donor? 305 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 1: We've had Geordana mallik On who also did it this way, 306 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: and then we've done a lot of this work with 307 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: Leslie Headlind and Rebecca Henderson. And I can't imagine, like 308 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,800 Speaker 1: what you would feel like, Oh, I want to know everything. 309 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: I want to know what they look like. I want 310 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: to pick color and all this kind of thing. Or 311 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 1: did you not even care? You like, I just want 312 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: healthy and something to work. 313 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,679 Speaker 2: It's a weird thing because it ends up being more 314 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 2: about health and what matches with your genetics. By the way, 315 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 2: they don't even have short firm donors. They don't even 316 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 2: let you in the door if you're beneath five to 317 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,600 Speaker 2: ten because everyone's like, I want a tall one. I 318 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 2: guess they don't even let you in anymore. They're like, 319 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,480 Speaker 2: it's all it's all tall guys. So it's like that 320 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 2: kind of thing is already. 321 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 3: Holy shit, that's hilarious. 322 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 2: You see how people's how long people's grandparents lived. Do 323 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 2: you see how long their parents? You see that kind 324 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 2: of stuff and you're like, that's what you want for 325 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 2: your kid. You're like, Okay, this guy's a surfer, but 326 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 2: this guy his mom is ninety nine. You're gonna go 327 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 2: ninety nine. 328 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 1: Right, and there's no cancer or like mental health stuff 329 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 1: like those. Really, I'm sure it becomes so much about 330 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 1: genetic health and what you're passing down. This is unbelievable, Ricky. 331 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,240 Speaker 1: I had no idea that this was what. 332 00:14:51,160 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 3: Was going on. So then what happened. 333 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 2: So then I'm like, Okay, I'm going to apply for adoption. 334 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 2: And it was harder during the pandemic because a lot 335 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 2: of things borders were closed and stuff, so it was 336 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 2: like everyone I talked to different people and they're like, 337 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 2: you got to do domestic, and domestic is open, and 338 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: it's a little hard for single women work. Further down 339 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 2: the totem pole, when the birth mothers are choosing, they're 340 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 2: not like, ooh, what about this forty two years my mom, 341 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 2: the mom from Los Angeles who lives in an apartment, 342 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,440 Speaker 2: And when there's like this couple on a farm and 343 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 2: they're twenty sixth it was like an undesirable candidate. And 344 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: then I did get one match, and my mom and 345 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 2: I flew to Atlanta to get the baby. And were 346 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: like in the hotel, and then things started to go 347 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 2: wrong with the adoption. Things that were happening that were 348 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 2: red flags, like they couldn't find the dad, and there 349 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 2: was just all these things and it just was like 350 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 2: I'm not exactly sure what happened. But then the agency 351 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,240 Speaker 2: was like, we recommend. 352 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is going to work out. 353 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 2: So we came back and there's all this baby stuff 354 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 2: and we're like, oh god, okay, this is holy. 355 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: Shit, Ricky, you thought you were coming home with a baby. Yeah, 356 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: that's how far along it got. Was it a call 357 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: like oh my god, we found your baby, or did 358 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: you know the whole time the mom was pregnant, or 359 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: were like how did that happen? 360 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 2: It was the last minute. Luckily it wasn't like thank 361 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 2: God for that, because it was like it was I 362 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 2: think it was like a Wednesday. They're like, there's a 363 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 2: woman who picked you, and I was like, oh my god. 364 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 2: And then Friday, I'm in Atlanta. 365 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 3: So it was like holy shit. 366 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 2: It was it was that fast. And I but like, 367 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 2: my some stuff was already ready because you have to 368 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,640 Speaker 2: do all these adoption classes and you have a social worker, 369 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 2: you have to baby proof your apartment before they approved. 370 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,359 Speaker 2: You had done all the right months of class. 371 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 3: You had done all that work. 372 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 2: Yes, so my stuff, so my apartment was kind of 373 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 2: ready to go. If you have like bottles and a crib, 374 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 2: you're good for the first five days or whatever. I 375 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 2: wasn't like, too crazy, you need a car seat and 376 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 2: a crib and you know what. 377 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you had that. Shit, that's a lot. 378 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: So I so that didn't work out, and that was 379 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 2: like pretty devastating. And then I was on the adoption 380 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 2: list for another maybe nine months, ten months, and everything 381 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 2: was a little off. And then my mom just called it. 382 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,199 Speaker 2: She was like, enough, this is what happened to you. 383 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 2: This is not happening. This is what happened. Now you 384 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 2: need to move forward. 385 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,480 Speaker 3: Oh god, I fucking love. 386 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 2: Your line, I know. And I was like, oh my god, and. 387 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 3: Are you joking? How is she like that? 388 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 2: I don't she's not usually, but she was like enough. 389 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 2: I was like I could cry thinking about it. She 390 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,239 Speaker 2: was just like because I didn't want to make a 391 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 2: baby in a lab, Like I made a baby in 392 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,159 Speaker 2: a lab with an egg donor, a sperm donor and 393 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 2: a surrogate. I that is no one's first choice. That 394 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,439 Speaker 2: is everyone that's the dead last. And my mom's like, 395 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 2: that's what happened. This is where you're at. This is 396 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,760 Speaker 2: what's happening. Do you want a family or not? And 397 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 2: she was like, consider how lucky you are that you 398 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 2: can do that. There are so many people who cannot 399 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,800 Speaker 2: afford this. Look for the green lights. So I did 400 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 2: pick one egg donor and she fell through. I get another. 401 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,360 Speaker 2: There's still like it's relentless. And then after I got 402 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,440 Speaker 2: the embryos, is when I found out that I couldn't carry. 403 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,880 Speaker 2: I found out that silent in demutriosis. Now we're doing 404 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 2: a surrogate okay. And the surrogacy thing was the best 405 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,959 Speaker 2: process in the world. It was I called them on 406 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 2: a Monday and on Wednesday, I matched with this woman. 407 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,760 Speaker 2: Most people it takes a year. It was like we 408 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 2: met and it was like I'm like, oh, there she is. Yeah, 409 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: that's it. And she was like that with me. She 410 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 2: was like, oh yeah, so we're just like this weekend 411 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 2: we went to her daughter's birthday party in Long Beach. 412 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 2: We're close. I love her, she says, her own kids, 413 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 2: she's had given birth to two other kids. I'm like, 414 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,440 Speaker 2: it's and you just she is just a solid person 415 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 2: with I'm like, this woman's not drinking a bottle of 416 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 2: wine every night. She's not. She's fine. Everything just flowed 417 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,679 Speaker 2: after that. And it was right before Mother's Day of 418 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 2: twenty nineteen, and she sent me she got dressed up 419 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,720 Speaker 2: in what was it, handmaid's tell costume. She sent me 420 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 2: a picture and said, under his eye, happy Mother's Day. 421 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: How are you taking care of yourself through this? 422 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 2: This was six years things like that. I was a 423 00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:05,719 Speaker 2: little weird. It was in the pandemic. I am someone who, 424 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 2: for good or bad, has work my way out of something. 425 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 2: I have to defeat it. But I was sort of 426 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 2: alone in my apartment and everyone was busy doing their things. 427 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,560 Speaker 2: I felt like a little like unchecked on too. So 428 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,919 Speaker 2: I felt a little adrift. And I was just like, 429 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,639 Speaker 2: all right, here we go. And I was just I 430 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 2: would wake up and I would write all day, and 431 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 2: then when I was done writing, I would work on 432 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,679 Speaker 2: my fertility. That was all I did. And I had 433 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 2: this routine and I would just do that and then 434 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 2: but it got me through it, and I wrote so 435 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 2: many songs that year. I became a much better writer. 436 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 2: And because I was like, oh, things could go badly 437 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 2: for me if I don't design something for myself. So 438 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 2: I was like, this is my I was like, I'm 439 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 2: coming out of this with four screenplays and a baby. 440 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: Holy shit, I feel like the only person in all 441 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,439 Speaker 1: of the pandemic. Like some people were like, yeah, one 442 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,120 Speaker 1: of us be doing writing the next great American novels, 443 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: Like some people were doing that, and like making babies. 444 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 2: I had to The silence was deafening. I mean, my 445 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 2: like weird Hollywood apartment alone. You got to go. And 446 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,000 Speaker 2: so I just went and I like went forward and yeah, 447 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 2: so the surrogate we matched, and then she started her process. 448 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 2: She only wanted transfer one at a time because she's like, 449 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 2: I don't want to have twins again, and so she 450 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 2: I was like great whatever, and then still fully thinking 451 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 2: like okay, this is the beginning of I thought she 452 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 2: would have to do it seven times because that's what 453 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 2: I'm used to. Fully took and I was like whoa, okay, 454 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 2: wait what wait? Is this working? And then the day 455 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,879 Speaker 2: after her implant, I got a job in Romania for 456 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,679 Speaker 2: seven months, so I was gone the whole pregnancy. I 457 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: was gone for seven months. 458 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 3: What were you doing in Romania? 459 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 2: I was shooting that show Wednesday. 460 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 3: Oh that shoots in Romaane, it does it? Wait, get 461 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 3: the hell out of here. 462 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: I was saying in your sexy intro, like that's where 463 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 1: I last saw you, was at the very fancy Netflix 464 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: party for Wednesday, that you are on. 465 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 3: That show shoots in Romaine. 466 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 2: Yes, it did. Now they're switching. I think they're going 467 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:57,680 Speaker 2: to move it. 468 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: Who knows, so you and Keaton will be taking some 469 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:00,880 Speaker 1: nice trips. 470 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's 471 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 2: going to happen in the next season. They I have 472 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,880 Speaker 2: not been told anything. 473 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 3: I'm sure you will be. 474 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: So You're gone in Romania for her entire pregnancy, which 475 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,919 Speaker 1: was you trust her implicitly. 476 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 2: And it was just such a gift, Like it was 477 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, because it was so hard and then it 478 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 2: was so easy. I was like, wow, this is I 479 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:25,639 Speaker 2: wasn't on the same time zone. I couldn't micromanage. I couldn't. 480 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 2: I just had to be like, I hope it. 481 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 3: That was such a blessing. 482 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 2: That was such a blessing. 483 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 3: With a surrogate, you can choose whether to be in 484 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 3: the room when the baby is born or is it 485 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 3: only out of the room. 486 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,440 Speaker 2: To I couldn't because of COVID, So she and I 487 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 2: she wanted to do it through C section. She has 488 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 2: her method. I'm like great, sounds good. Yeah, And then 489 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: she texted me and she's like, they said I can 490 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,959 Speaker 2: only have one person in the room. I called her 491 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 2: and I was like it's I was like, you want 492 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 2: your husband. I was like, it's major surgery, you can 493 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 2: have them. And she's like, wait for real. And I 494 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 2: was like, I'm going home with a family, Yes, have 495 00:21:58,560 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 2: who you want. And she was like I could cry. 496 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 2: She was like, oh my god. And I was like, no, 497 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,959 Speaker 2: you're going through major surgery and giving me a child, 498 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,959 Speaker 2: like next room. But then during it, I was like 499 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 2: in the next room like oh my god, Oh my god, 500 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 2: why did I say that time? 501 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,199 Speaker 1: So the C section scheduled and you show up to 502 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,199 Speaker 1: the hospital knowing that you're going to be sitting in 503 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 1: this side room, and it was crazy because. 504 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 2: Like right before, like we'd had all these scheduling delays 505 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 2: because of COVID, and it was they weren't sure they 506 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,439 Speaker 2: were going to get me home in time. So I 507 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 2: had to like legally grant my parents' custody over like 508 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 2: a zoom notary, which exists, by the way, if you're 509 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 2: in Romania. 510 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,399 Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? 511 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 1: They didn't know if you would be able to get 512 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: out of shooting Wednesday because of COVID shit show, And 513 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,399 Speaker 1: you didn't even know if you were going to be 514 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,640 Speaker 1: able to be home. So you're signing all this shit 515 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: for your parents to be the one to take Eat 516 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:44,640 Speaker 1: and home. 517 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 2: They had all the intents and purposes, but things happen 518 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 2: in pregnancies come early and get delayed, and there's things 519 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 2: yeah like. 520 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 1: Prepared, No, that makes perfect sense. You already are mothering. 521 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,119 Speaker 1: You're already parenting. You're already like doing every crossing, every tea, dotting, 522 00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: every eye to make sure. 523 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 2: And the show knew when I got the part. I 524 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 2: went in August and I was like, I need to 525 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 2: be home by March, and they were like, not a problem, 526 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,959 Speaker 2: and so they knew and they had to finagel things, 527 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,679 Speaker 2: but they got me out. Like the whole cast, the 528 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 2: whole crew, everyone like was they're so excited for me. 529 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,719 Speaker 2: They were so supportive. They were like I was surrounded 530 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 2: by love by this cast. It was incredible and the 531 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 2: creators and everything. And then it was like, oh, Macron 532 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,880 Speaker 2: and Putin was circling and it was like this, and 533 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 2: everyone was getting COVID because if I got COVID, I 534 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: couldn't fly. And I was like, I was super stressed 535 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 2: and I didn't have like my nursery set up yet 536 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,200 Speaker 2: because I'd been in Romania. 537 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 3: Yes, what did you do? What did you do? 538 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 2: I ended up getting home like five days before and 539 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 2: my parents came and we were like, here, let's start. 540 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 2: I know, we got what's it called task rabbits. 541 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 3: Just come on, build this, build that help you pick 542 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 3: this up? 543 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 2: More diverse, more dud's, more dudeless opening boxes, and so 544 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 2: many people had sent me I didn't want to get 545 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,480 Speaker 2: I felt weird about getting a registry for some reason, 546 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,360 Speaker 2: and my friends were like, no. 547 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I wish I had been on the email 548 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 1: because I would have just sent you so much shit. 549 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:05,119 Speaker 2: That's what happened. 550 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 551 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,959 Speaker 2: Many people were so supportive. I got every I had everything. 552 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 2: I had, all the diapers, all the clothes, the crip 553 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:11,640 Speaker 2: I had. 554 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: We always ask and I'm curious, what was the thing 555 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,080 Speaker 1: on your registry that you could never have lived without? 556 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,480 Speaker 2: The Breza. 557 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 3: You're the second person this season that has said that 558 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 3: the best invention. 559 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 2: So it's for people who can't obviously can't breastfeed, and 560 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 2: it's like a cureig. It's like a an espresso for formula. 561 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 3: It just makes it for you. 562 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: It's like it's mixing the exact right water, the exact 563 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:37,840 Speaker 1: right powder temperature, making it a good temperature, really. 564 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 2: Like a cup of coffee. I was giving him so 565 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 2: I couldn't have lived. That was my favorite thing, and 566 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 2: that company just sent it to me. I was like, wow, okay, 567 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,640 Speaker 2: thank you. 568 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 3: Yes, that's what we're talking about. 569 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: Tell me about when you met Keaton and you felt 570 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 1: your It sounds like your life just all came into alignment. 571 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,640 Speaker 2: I can't believe how lucky I got. Like that year 572 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 2: was like I forget the quote. The quote is some 573 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 2: years or questions, then some years or answers, and it 574 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 2: was like, oh, it all it came together. The first 575 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 2: twenty four hours in the hospital, it was me and 576 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,960 Speaker 2: my surrogate and her husband and we all stayed up. 577 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,639 Speaker 2: She would sleep, she would nap, but she had to 578 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 2: breastfeed every hour, so she would breastfeed Keaton and then 579 00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,680 Speaker 2: I'd be in there and then he'd give me a meet. 580 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 2: We had these adjoining rooms and then the husband would 581 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,480 Speaker 2: bur I was too. I was too scared to burp 582 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 2: him the first day because he's so little. 583 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,920 Speaker 1: Did you have any like weird feelings at all about 584 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,320 Speaker 1: this is my baby and she's doing that stuff. 585 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 2: And we are a village And I'd been alone in 586 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 2: COVID for so long that I was just grateful for 587 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 2: a village. And I was like, and also, it's not 588 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 2: about me. It's about him getting the nutrients he needs. 589 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,560 Speaker 2: He needs the colostrum, and she was willing to do that, 590 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 2: and it's like harder for her. It's like breastfeed someone 591 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 2: else's baby if she's willing, Like I want him to 592 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 2: get the nutrients. Like I didn't feel No, I was 593 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 2: like thank you. I was like happy, it was the best. 594 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: Like when you took him home and you said goodbye 595 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,239 Speaker 1: to her, was that just like I would have been 596 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 1: a sobbing mess on the floor. 597 00:25:58,680 --> 00:25:59,399 Speaker 3: I don't even know. 598 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 2: It's weird though. It was like we were like, wasn't 599 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 2: even that We were like we fucking did it. It was 600 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 2: like a high five. And she didn't come over next 601 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 2: week and I'm like, yep, she came over a week later, 602 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 2: and like I see her probably once a month we 603 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,840 Speaker 2: hang out and she hangs out with Keaton, and I'm like, 604 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 2: this is your surrogate and it's just normalized. And because 605 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,399 Speaker 2: when you take the adoption classes, they tell you like 606 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 2: with twenty three and me and all this stuff, it's 607 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,480 Speaker 2: like they're gonna find out anyway, so just tell. 608 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,200 Speaker 3: Them yes, yes. 609 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,719 Speaker 1: Also, there's nothing there, there's no shame. It's like amazing, 610 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,480 Speaker 1: this is incredible. You worked your ass off to get 611 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,159 Speaker 1: this child. Tell me about when you brought him home? 612 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 3: Were you? 613 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: I know it sounds and I can just tell from 614 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,440 Speaker 1: what I know of you, like you're just the most 615 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: maternal like you I've always known you were going to 616 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,880 Speaker 1: be a mother, Like you're just so good kid. Did 617 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 1: it feel that way when Keaton came home everything made sense? 618 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: Or were you like, oh shit, oh shit, this is 619 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: a lot more than I signed up for. Holy crap, 620 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 1: I haven't slept. How was it like a dad? 621 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 2: I felt like I was getting way with murder the 622 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,679 Speaker 2: first month because I was like, oh, I didn't just 623 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 2: have major surgery. I'm not. I don't have four months 624 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 2: coming out of me. I don't have to breastfeed. I'm like, 625 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,439 Speaker 2: I am a dad. I'm like, free and clear. He 626 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 2: sleeps eighteen hours a day. Then it catches up and 627 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 2: it gets hard whatever. The first month was like great, 628 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 2: it was awesome. I had a night nurse. I rented 629 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,199 Speaker 2: a second apartment in my building, and I would go 630 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 2: sleep downstairs and then I'd come back up and spend 631 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 2: the day. 632 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 1: With Brillian b brilliant. Were your parents around a lot 633 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 1: where they were? 634 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:27,879 Speaker 2: They came for the first month, and they slept in 635 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 2: my apartment because they can sleep through anything, So they 636 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 2: slept in my apartment and I went down to the 637 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 2: apartment downstairs, and yeah, we just all like villaged it 638 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 2: and it was awesome and. 639 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, Ricky, I love this. 640 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy? 641 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: Okay, so it's the most I think you win the 642 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: Katies Crib Award of the Wildest fertility journey. 643 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,720 Speaker 2: A little wild during COVID. 644 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 3: This is all during oh the wildest part. 645 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:59,159 Speaker 2: Yes, I met someone while my surrogate was pregnant. So 646 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 2: now I have a copair. Oh yeah, my shocking, shocking. 647 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,960 Speaker 1: No not, that's exactly like you're saying this, and I'm like, 648 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 1: of course you did, just like of course your son 649 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 1: was supposed to bring this entire life to you at 650 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 1: this time for whatever reason. Holy shit, it was just 651 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 1: in no way shape form how you thought you were 652 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,320 Speaker 1: getting out there. 653 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 3: But you're there. 654 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,359 Speaker 2: That's why I don't feel like I don't know. 655 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 1: I like, you're what your mom said, that happened, but 656 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:34,560 Speaker 1: it is not. 657 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 3: What is happening. 658 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: Like, what is happening is that you have a co 659 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 1: parent and you have a son, and you have your family. 660 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 2: We lived together in Los Felis and we've got our 661 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 2: amazing baby, and it's like the it's unbelievable. 662 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 3: I have such goosebumps. 663 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: I have truly never heard of anything like this, and 664 00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: I couldn't be happy. 665 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,959 Speaker 3: I mean, it couldn't have happened to a more loving, deserve, 666 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 3: being kind, strong person. 667 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm so grateful, so relieved because when you were 668 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: like the wildest part, I was like oh no, oh no, 669 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: oh no, oh no, and you're like, oh no, and 670 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm in love and he's wonderful and is super involved 671 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,080 Speaker 1: and is helping me raise our child like this is 672 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: it's a fucking amazing. 673 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 3: And tell me, how does motherhood feel to you? 674 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 2: It feels well, it's I think at first because the 675 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 2: first month was so easy I thought it was like 676 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 2: gonna be like easy, and so I was still like 677 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 2: going at this like crazy pace, and then my body 678 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 2: got I got like the world's craziest flu. My body 679 00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 2: like put me to bed for three weeks, and they're 680 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,400 Speaker 2: like this, like that's what happened. This is what's happening. 681 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 2: Now you need a different pace. 682 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 1: Nothing feels more real in motherhood till you face your 683 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 1: first sickness when you have to take care of your kid. Anyway, 684 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: it is the realest fucking shit ever. Like the first 685 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:54,120 Speaker 1: time I was ever like I can't get out of 686 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: bed and I have kids to manage, or like I'm 687 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,600 Speaker 1: throwing up and I've die and I have to still 688 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: make sure they survive. 689 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 2: This is It was insane and I was doing this 690 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 2: sort of it was like a really demanding writing job 691 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 2: and I ended up getting fired like right after I 692 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 2: had the baby. But then it was like, oh, I 693 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 2: had so much more. I was like, this was actually 694 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,480 Speaker 2: good because then I had more time because I was 695 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 2: trying to do everything. And then they're like, no, we 696 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,959 Speaker 2: want a different writer, and I'm like okay, And then 697 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,280 Speaker 2: I just got sick, just got the flu. And then 698 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 2: I was like I need a new pace. 699 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 1: So until you got the flu where you like, I 700 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: was like, my life is very different. I can't just 701 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 1: pile motherhood on top of everything else I've always done. 702 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 2: I thought I could, and I was like, wow, I can't, okay, 703 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 2: And so I had to just you just readjust. 704 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: You and I are going to be talking in ten 705 00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: years and we're going to be like, oh, we're right 706 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: back to what we're piling one thousand things on top 707 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 1: of motherhood. And I just think the beginning, the first 708 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: two years, and I just think people are crazy if 709 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,520 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, within six months. I know for me, 710 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: it's like I couldn't even get into like some sort 711 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: of routine of like self care or like a walk 712 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,239 Speaker 1: or going out with a front, Like I'm like a 713 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 1: mess until like. 714 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 2: This is a long time. I started finally Now I 715 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 2: exercise once a week and with the trainer, and I 716 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 2: don't want to spend that money, but I'm you know, 717 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 2: I have because I'm not that's any huge Like I'm 718 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 2: just going at like twenty percent of my normal pace. 719 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: That's okay, and it is finite is I think what 720 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 1: I mean is like this is not forever, like even 721 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: if it is until he's two in the scheme of 722 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: your life that is short. 723 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 2: And he's so great. He's so oh my god. 724 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 3: What is he like? 725 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: What is he like? What is he into? How is 726 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: he sleeping? How are you sleeping? How's he eating? How 727 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,000 Speaker 1: have the one year milestones been? 728 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,520 Speaker 2: His personality is changing now. But he was like the 729 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 2: most serious, stoic child that anyone has ever had. We 730 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 2: would call it bush watching because we'd put him in 731 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,720 Speaker 2: front of a plant that was like waving in the wind, 732 00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 2: and he would just he would stare at it for 733 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 2: twenty five minutes, like he was like reading it. Like 734 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,440 Speaker 2: he'd listen to classical music and watch a plant and 735 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,239 Speaker 2: we're like, who is this child? And he was just 736 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 2: he was like the cake. He's so serious. He was 737 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,560 Speaker 2: like like every picture I have him as a baby, 738 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:25,720 Speaker 2: he's frowning. 739 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 1: Like what is this amazing? Especially because his mom is 740 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 1: like a queen of comedy. But okay, just this like. 741 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 2: Groom like he wasn't he didn't cry a lot. He 742 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 2: was just like this eighty. 743 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 3: Year old man, what do you worry eighty? 744 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:39,960 Speaker 2: And then he's come out of that and now he's 745 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,239 Speaker 2: like much more front, like he smiles more. But it 746 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 2: was like really funny. I'm like, I think I have 747 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,880 Speaker 2: the most serious kid I have ever seen. And people 748 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 2: are like, no, that's a baby. 749 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 3: Know what you do? 750 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 2: He's like a He's just he's like a little prince. 751 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 2: I would hand him a new toy and he'd look 752 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 2: at it, examine it with a weird face, and then 753 00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,160 Speaker 2: look me in the eye and toss it aside. He 754 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 2: would he wouldn't even look at the toy when he 755 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 2: tosked it. He would make eye contact be like, I 756 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,240 Speaker 2: don't like this one. 757 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, it sounds like you're just really enjoy 758 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,440 Speaker 1: I love it. I love so like it just sounds 759 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: like you're enjoying the all of it. And it was 760 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,239 Speaker 1: such an effort to get here, and so it is 761 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: not lost on you how what a miracle it is 762 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 1: and how special this all is. 763 00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 2: I'm loving it. Like on Sunday when we were driving 764 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 2: home from the surrogate's birthday, the whole ride from Long 765 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,000 Speaker 2: beachos going hi and we go high and we go hi. 766 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: The whole ride, Oh where is his name from? 767 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 2: From nowhere? Really? I just could I just don't like 768 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 2: any boy's names. I couldn't think of any. 769 00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 3: Boy's names are hard, Like what hard? 770 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 1: We had none and my daughter we had a thousand, 771 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,240 Speaker 1: but like he had, we had none for him either. 772 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 3: But Keaton's great, you killed it. 773 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 1: It was just it's from nothing, because there's just I like, 774 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: Diane Keaton, what did you do for his one year birthday? 775 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,520 Speaker 2: Nothing? Nothing? We got him a little cupcake with the 776 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,720 Speaker 2: candle that he's threw on the floor. We're like, okay, 777 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,440 Speaker 2: maybe next to your hill, Like he just wasn't He 778 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 2: didn't know what it was, and so we're like it too, 779 00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 2: will give him a birthday. 780 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 1: How is your work life balance going? It sounds like 781 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 1: you tried to do it all then you got hit 782 00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,919 Speaker 1: with the flu. Now you're slowing. You're just like being 783 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 1: really probably specific about what your day. 784 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,360 Speaker 3: How do you have a support system? 785 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 2: I haven't, nanny. I think I just need to like 786 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 2: do a little more like investigating internally to see what 787 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,440 Speaker 2: I actually need and what's actually important I need to. 788 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,399 Speaker 2: I think I need to pare down even a little 789 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 2: bit more and try to focus on fewer things and 790 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,319 Speaker 2: but put I want to put more life force into 791 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 2: fewer things because I feel like I'm still at this 792 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,960 Speaker 2: thing where I'm spread sin and even though it's compared 793 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 2: to my old self, it's not a spread that big 794 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 2: of a spread. But I need to do some reevaluating. 795 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 2: I'm not I haven't even hit the groove in my 796 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 2: slowness yet, and I know that's like things that will 797 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 2: just take time. I just think I need to like 798 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,640 Speaker 2: do some more thinking and how do I really want 799 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 2: my days to go? What do I want to make 800 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,399 Speaker 2: And especially now. 801 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:13,439 Speaker 3: That it's a writer strike, you can get to ask 802 00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 3: yourself some stuff. Now, maybe I'm. 803 00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 2: Also in that weird thing where I'm in a new relationship. 804 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 2: So we're like co parenting in a new relationship, which 805 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:25,279 Speaker 2: is the weirdest. It's so hot. But then also like 806 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 2: I want to go out sometimes. 807 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,840 Speaker 3: Of course you do. It's the beginning of a relationship. 808 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: Like that's where all the energy and passion did the 809 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:31,800 Speaker 1: dating phase. 810 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,000 Speaker 2: We went right into the co parenting. 811 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: That stuff fills you up, though, That stuff fills you 812 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,160 Speaker 1: up to be the mom you can be. 813 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,799 Speaker 2: So I try to carve that out. I try to 814 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:49,239 Speaker 2: like have keep keep romance even a lot. 815 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 3: Yeah we did well that the Lord are dead. I 816 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 3: just like we've been together seventeen Oh my. 817 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 2: God, see, my son is fourteen months and we've been 818 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,440 Speaker 2: together fifteen months. Fourteen we've been together fourteen months in 819 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 2: one week, so it's. 820 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 1: Like, this is unfucking believable, less than a week before 821 00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: he was born, and like, good on this guy that 822 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,560 Speaker 1: he was like yep, I'm saying yes. 823 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,920 Speaker 2: And it was the opposite of the last relationship with 824 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:21,560 Speaker 2: someone who. 825 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,239 Speaker 3: Was very scared of me I were not doing kids, yes, 826 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:25,040 Speaker 3: very very. 827 00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,879 Speaker 2: Fearful of the way that his life would be put 828 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,360 Speaker 2: into up people. This person is just like, I'm like, Okay, 829 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,280 Speaker 2: then all right. 830 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,359 Speaker 1: What advice would you like to give Keaton on his 831 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: one year birthday? 832 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 2: Wow? God, just nothing. Just he's perfect. He's perfect, He's 833 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 2: he's I got nothing. I'm just like, oh every day 834 00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,400 Speaker 2: and you're like me every day. I'm just like, I 835 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:54,200 Speaker 2: can't believe I'm still getting to do this. I just 836 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 2: love him. I'm so happy, like, I yeah, I got 837 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,760 Speaker 2: he's perfect in my eyes, I don't know, I got. 838 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:03,640 Speaker 3: Nothing, Reggy, I'm so happy for you. Okay. 839 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 1: And in closing, we always ask for you to finish 840 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 1: this sentence. 841 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 3: Parenthood is the fucking best. 842 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 1: Cky. I'm so grateful that you came off, I thank 843 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,399 Speaker 1: you for having me and that it was just you 844 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: and you shared this story. 845 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 2: I've never told it anywhere publicly. And then when I 846 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 2: heard your podcast, I was like, that's where I have 847 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 2: to tell it. That's it. I heard your podcast with 848 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,960 Speaker 2: Gabrielle Union and I was like, oh, that's yeah, that's 849 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:31,480 Speaker 2: right for me. 850 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:33,920 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm so honored. 851 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: It's like literally the most perfect love story to your 852 00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:42,880 Speaker 1: son and to your experience, which should be celebrated, honored shared. 853 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: It's so helpful to other women. I can't tell you 854 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 1: how I mean, I know, you know, I. 855 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 2: Really want people to hear because Gabrielle Union's was very 856 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,160 Speaker 2: helpful to me, like in her other in her book 857 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 2: and like things like that, and I was like, Okay, 858 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,400 Speaker 2: this woman is someone who has all the options. 859 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,279 Speaker 1: This is how women to help other women. And I 860 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,799 Speaker 1: have so many friends struggling with endometriosis and for it 861 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 1: is really hard so to hear that someone's happy like 862 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,839 Speaker 1: you are so authentically you and happy and juggling at 863 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,480 Speaker 1: all and have a healthy, beautiful son and family. 864 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,399 Speaker 2: And I would not have it go a different way. 865 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,520 Speaker 2: The door that closed, I'm happy it closed. That was right, 866 00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 2: I need someone who can roll with things. 867 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 1: Ricky, You've given me goosebumps only like one thousand times 868 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,399 Speaker 1: in this episode. I could not be happier for you, 869 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 1: could not be a more deserving, awesome. 870 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 2: I love your podcasts so good and it's so helpful. 871 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 1: It's so so lucky to have you, and you are 872 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 1: so lucky to have him. 873 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 2: Love him. I'm biased, but he's the best one. 874 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,240 Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening to today's episode. 875 00:38:55,320 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 1: I want to hear from you. Let's chat questions, comments, concerns. 876 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 3: Let me know. 877 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 1: You can always find me at Katiescrib at shondaland dot com. 878 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership 879 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the 880 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,480 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your 881 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,320 Speaker 1: favorite shows.