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Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, how are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm eating carrots?

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Speaker 3: I apologize you're eating carrots?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just snacking. Sorry about that.

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Speaker 3: That's okay, It's okay. You can do whatever you want.

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Speaker 3: You know, there's no rules. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I did not expect. Oh my gosh, my heart. I

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Speaker 2: did not expect to, like, my heart is being fast.

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Speaker 2: I didn't expect to actually get through.

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Speaker 3: What is your name? Uh, I'm gonna call you carrot?

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Speaker 3: Oh Sapphire. Okay, we'll go to Yeah, uh Sapphire. Oh crap,

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Speaker 3: what was I gonna say? Have you ever spoken before Sapphire?

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Speaker 2: No, this is my first time.

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Speaker 3: Well, what's up, dude? How's life?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Life is real funny right now. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 2: So for a little while now, I've been staying at

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Speaker 2: a shelter and so I've just been there and doing

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Speaker 2: their program and saving money and everything, and I, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm struggling to figure out what exactly it

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Speaker 2: is that I even want out of life anymore. The

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Speaker 2: last few years have been like ridiculous, and I feel

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Speaker 2: like they kind of took away my motivation to like

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Speaker 2: do anything at all. But every day I wake up,

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Speaker 2: I go to work. I do my job, which it's

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Speaker 2: actually really funny because my job is providing clothes, shoes,

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Speaker 2: school supplies, et cetera to kids in the school districts

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Speaker 2: that are in the same situation as me. So it's

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Speaker 2: actually funny because I've actually helped some of the people

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Speaker 2: that I like that I live in that place with,

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Speaker 2: So that's pretty cool but also funny.

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Speaker 3: How old are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be thirty at the end of the year.

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Speaker 3: Okay, And no, I guess I was wondering if you

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Speaker 3: were like in school, Like, what school level is this?

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Speaker 3: Like high school, college, middle school?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, could you repeat that question?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Sorry? What like level of school is this that

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Speaker 3: you're working at?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 5: Like K through twelve?

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's the school district.

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Speaker 3: Yea cool? Cool?

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Speaker 2: Cool?

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Speaker 3: Oh you're helping Okay, I'm sorry, yes, okay, sorry, I'm

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Speaker 3: an idiot. Okay, now now I'm like, no, I'm dumb.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like, is this lady in middle school

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Speaker 3: and she's helping out and she's like, oh, it's ironic

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Speaker 3: because I'm seeing the people I go to middle school.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why my brain wentout. No, you're helping

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Speaker 3: people who went to the same middle school, high school

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Speaker 3: that you went to that were in a similar situation

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Speaker 3: as you. Okay, I understand now.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm helping like like any kid in the entire

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Speaker 2: school district. It's a big school district. And then there's

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Speaker 2: about nine thousand kids that identify as homeless in the district.

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Speaker 2: And that includes living in hotels and hotels, share housing details,

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Speaker 2: financial difficulty, and things like that, living in a car,

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Speaker 2: living in a shelter. So that is kind of what

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Speaker 2: that encompass is. So that's it anyway. Sorry, I don't

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Speaker 2: even know. I guess I just called because I I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to just say hi, I don't know. It

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Speaker 2: is cool.

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Speaker 3: So how long did you say you've been living at

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Speaker 3: the shelter for?

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Speaker 2: Oh? So, and I keep saying things are funny and

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Speaker 2: they're not actually funny. I just say that. I guess

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Speaker 2: it's been like a year.

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Speaker 5: It's been a while.

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Speaker 2: It's been a while I've been saving.

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Speaker 5: So that's good.

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Speaker 3: How is life at the shelter?

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm very grateful. I want to just say that

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Speaker 2: right off the that super duper grateful. It's once. First

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Speaker 2: of all, it's the best one around. They are a

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Speaker 2: Christian organization, so they do mandate that you go to

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Speaker 2: their church for the first at least ninety days, and

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Speaker 2: then you can start branching out and finding your own church.

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Speaker 2: But they do require that you go to church three

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Speaker 2: times a week, so and you have to go to

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Speaker 2: there at least once and so that's Sunday morning, Sunday evening,

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Speaker 2: and Wednesday evening. And when I first got there, it

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Speaker 2: was very funny, because I'm sorry, and you stop saying

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Speaker 2: things are funny when they're really not. When I got there,

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Speaker 2: the first sermon that I was you know, I attended,

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Speaker 2: the pastor said that we were all there because our

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Speaker 2: sins brought us there, and you know, he preaches some

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Speaker 2: really interesting things, you know, mostly just talks about himself.

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Speaker 2: So that's interesting. And there are a lot of rules

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Speaker 2: that you have to follow and there's not a lot

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Speaker 2: of freedom, and I do understand it, I really do.

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Speaker 2: But I also think that some of the people who

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Speaker 2: work there aren't as compassionate as you would expect one

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Speaker 2: in this field to be. And there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: like you can tell, there's people who kind of look

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Speaker 2: down on you or who thinks that you know, you know,

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Speaker 2: you couldn't possibly know any better than they do about

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Speaker 2: like because you're because you're in a certain situation. You know,

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Speaker 2: they kind of assume that you don't really know what

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Speaker 2: you're doing, as opposed to like things just happened. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: sometimes maybe it is that you don't know what you're doing,

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Speaker 2: but they can't make that assumption and apply it to everyone.

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Speaker 2: I think that's unfair. But really, you know, three meals

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Speaker 2: a day, I get to share just a room with

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Speaker 2: just one person. Yes, there's curfews and stuff like that,

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Speaker 2: but there's like they have activities.

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Speaker 5: They do require you to.

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Speaker 2: Attend those activities, and sometimes you don't really feel like it.

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Speaker 2: But who am I to not go to something If

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Speaker 2: they're providing a roof over my head, they're helping me, say,

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Speaker 2: I don't have to pay rent, I get three meals

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Speaker 2: a day, you know what I mean. So really, and

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Speaker 2: we have like a case manager, a biblical case manager

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Speaker 2: they call them. And my experience so far has been

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Speaker 2: pretty good. Not everybody's had the same experience, but you

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Speaker 2: just got to follow the rules, I guess.

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Speaker 3: So this is like a private shelter.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so it's completely funded by private donations.

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Speaker 3: Interesting. I've never heard of that before. I know about

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Speaker 3: like I mean, I know about like the whole thing

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Speaker 3: of like you know, Christian missionaries, like you know, helping

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Speaker 3: the less fortunate and doing all that stuff, but I've

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Speaker 3: never It's interesting. I've never heard of like a thing

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Speaker 3: where it's like, oh, you have to, like I always

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Speaker 3: kind of I guess what. I've seen it out in

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Speaker 3: the wild and whatnot. It's been like, you know, hey,

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Speaker 3: the church is doing like a feed the homeless thing.

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Speaker 3: But I've never seen it be like, Okay, you have

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Speaker 3: to go to church.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, they make you. You could get written up if

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Speaker 2: you don't go. You can get written up this year late,

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Speaker 2: you can get written up this Your shoes are peeking

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Speaker 2: out from under the bed. There's inspections like pretty frequently about,

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Speaker 2: like for room inspections, and there's like a list of

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Speaker 2: things you have to do to like maintain like cleanliness.

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Speaker 2: You do have chores that you're assigned for on my floor,

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Speaker 2: it changes every month, and I have one shore on

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Speaker 2: oh gosh, oh my gos, why can't I think right now?

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Speaker 2: One shore on Monday, and then another chur on and

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Speaker 2: then two more chores on Thursday, and it's just so

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Speaker 2: that we maintain our living space.

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Speaker 3: What are the sort of rules for the inspection?

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Speaker 2: Okay, make sure that when you leave for the day,

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Speaker 2: you don't leave anything on. No lights on, like you know,

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Speaker 2: like basic things right, no lights on. Make sure that

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Speaker 2: you're ac in the room, that you turn off the

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Speaker 2: There's like this setting called constant fan. Make sure that's off.

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Speaker 2: Make sure that it's at seventy or they're gonna walk it,

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Speaker 2: and make it to where you can't set it any

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Speaker 2: lower than seventy, which is torture because it gets really

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Speaker 2: hot in there and there's no ventilation. It's really it's

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Speaker 2: an old building. So there's that. And then make sure

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Speaker 2: that you like vacuum, make sure you take out your trash,

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Speaker 2: make sure you wipe things down, make sure it's not dusty,

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Speaker 2: make sure you make your bed like it just needs

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Speaker 2: to look presentable. For like, if a donor wants to

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Speaker 2: tour and kind of like see like what they're going

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Speaker 2: to be donating to, you know what I mean, So

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Speaker 2: that's kind of what.

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Speaker 5: That's for.

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Speaker 2: That's basically it. And they're so they have the women

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Speaker 2: and Children's Shelter, they call it the family home. And

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Speaker 2: then they also have the Men's Center, which is a

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Speaker 2: hotel that was converted to like a shelter for men,

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Speaker 2: and their rules are more strict. They have to go

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Speaker 2: to church every day. They don't get there, they get

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Speaker 2: their phone taken away for their first ninety days or something,

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Speaker 2: and then when they do get it back, they can

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Speaker 2: only have it at certain hours. And it's like all

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Speaker 2: this stuff. Oh, and here's the thing I don't like.

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Speaker 2: Let me explain. There is this program. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: say the name of it because I feel like that

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Speaker 2: gives away too much, like more than I've already given away.

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Speaker 2: But basically, if you get there and you don't have

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Speaker 2: a job, or you have a job they don't don't

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Speaker 2: particularly think is gainful, like, so you don't have gainful employment.

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Speaker 2: So let's say that you're working at a gas station,

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Speaker 2: they don't like that. What they make you do is

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Speaker 2: their program. They call it a program that's supposedly meant

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Speaker 2: to help you and everything. But the way it works

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Speaker 2: is you go when you work in either their kitchen,

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Speaker 2: so like the people that serve us food most of

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Speaker 2: the time are people who stay there like that, they

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Speaker 2: prepare the food and they service food. There are people

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Speaker 2: who live there, so you do that. You can't opt

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Speaker 2: out of that, right if you don't have gain food plot,

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Speaker 2: you can't opt out. Or you work in their in

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Speaker 2: house childcare center, or you can even work at their

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Speaker 2: like bargain store or whatever. So there's that. But so

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Speaker 2: this program, they you have to do this program and

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Speaker 2: they only give you a stipend. They call it a stipend,

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Speaker 2: and it's twenty five dollars every two weeks. So there's actually, yeah,

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Speaker 2: so there's definitely things that can be improved. Because I'm

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Speaker 2: glad I ca in with gainful employment because I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: have lasted there if I had to. So you if

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Speaker 2: you need to pay things like a storage, you're out

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Speaker 2: of luck. And then they kind of make you prioritize

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Speaker 2: them and what they want over like like even I

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Speaker 2: have a friend who was told explicitly, if you get

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Speaker 2: an schedule, if you get an interview offer for the

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Speaker 2: day that we have our meeting, and it's like inter

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Speaker 2: it interferes with our meeting, tell them like call them

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Speaker 2: and reschedule. And I'm like, but this woman is homeless

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Speaker 2: with children and she needs a job. And if somebody's

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Speaker 2: calling her for an interview. That's priority, but they don't

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Speaker 2: see it that way. So they're very funny like that.

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Speaker 3: So far had you find this place?

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Speaker 2: So when I was living with a family member and

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Speaker 2: some other people that were staying there, long story short.

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Speaker 1: I.

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Speaker 2: Okay, uh, how right I put this up? Okay, there

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Speaker 2: was like drug use in the house and I was

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Speaker 2: not okay with that. My stuff was being stolen and

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Speaker 2: sold so that these people could go and buy drugs,

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Speaker 2: and like it was real crazy. It was a mess.

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Speaker 2: There were animals that weren't really being taken care of,

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Speaker 2: and like I had to like pitch in for those things,

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Speaker 2: and it was it was crazy. And then when the

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Speaker 2: part the moment where I said I have to leave.

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Speaker 2: Besides being kicked out, every time I asked the question

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Speaker 2: like how much do we owe the landlord or whatever

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Speaker 2: the case may be, and they didn't like questions, So

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Speaker 2: like every time I asked the question, they were like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to hear you gotta leave. It

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Speaker 2: doesn't work that way. You can't just ask me how

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Speaker 2: much we owe the landlord? And it's like okay, whatever.

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Speaker 2: So the day that I decided I needed to leave

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Speaker 2: that place was when somebody in that house just did

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Speaker 2: something really violent too, not to me, but in front

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Speaker 2: of me. That resulted and I just don't want to

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Speaker 2: say it because it's really you know, like this person

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Speaker 2: could really get in trouble, but they did something really intense,

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Speaker 2: really violent. So they did that, and then they thank you.

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Speaker 2: They they actually did that in front of two kids

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Speaker 2: that stayed there, and it was and then they told

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Speaker 2: me their kids actually and then they told me that

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Speaker 2: all my kids have already seen enough, like you need

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Speaker 2: to leave. And so when they were out of out

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Speaker 2: of the state for some work things, they actually left

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Speaker 2: the car and they said I could use it, and

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Speaker 2: so I was outstick from my job with COVID and

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Speaker 2: flew at the same time. And then I basically took

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Speaker 2: the car and started going around to like I called

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Speaker 2: two one one looking for resources, and they kind of

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Speaker 2: gave me a few, and so I went to the

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Speaker 2: first one and they said, oh, well, we can't really

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Speaker 2: help you, but go check out this place down the street.

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Speaker 2: So when I went in, they had me fill out

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Speaker 2: an application because they go buy applications and there's a

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Speaker 2: waiting list of hundreds, so they had me still out

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Speaker 2: an application and the person who's my case manager today,

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Speaker 2: she is the one who accepted it. And then they

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Speaker 2: called me for an interview, and like, I did this

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Speaker 2: in secret from you know, my family member that I

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Speaker 2: was staying with, and I and I went and did

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Speaker 2: there did an interview because you have to do an

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Speaker 2: interview with like like a panel interview type thing with

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Speaker 2: different case managers and stuff. So I did that and

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Speaker 2: they told me that I was accepted and that I

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Speaker 2: needed to move in that Saturday, and then I did.

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Speaker 2: And when I tell you, I remember when I first

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Speaker 2: got there, I heard like footsteps down the hall and

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Speaker 2: I was like laying down because I'm like, well what

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Speaker 2: do I do. They're like, well, you can, like chill,

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Speaker 2: you can do whatever you want. So like I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: it'd be really nice to lay down. I'm really tired.

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Speaker 2: So I was laying down and I heard footsteps and

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Speaker 2: I got this like my heart started pounding. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm laying down, you know. So and SO is going

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Speaker 2: to be mad at me because I'm not. I've been

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Speaker 2: doing whatever and da da dah. And then I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh wait, I don't have to panic like that anymore.

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Speaker 2: I'm okay, Like everything's okay.

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Speaker 5: So I have had a lot of.

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Speaker 2: Peace here, but it's also not been easy, not having

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Speaker 2: like freedom and stuff and not being able to stay

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Speaker 2: overnight anywhere because they're like, well, if you can stay

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Speaker 2: overnight somewhere, then you have somewhere to stay, and it's like, no,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't work that way. Actually, it's just you.

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Speaker 3: Know, how many how many other people are in this

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Speaker 3: place with you? Like, not like like how many other

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Speaker 3: people are like staying there?

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Speaker 2: Well, I know that there was there's eighty nine kids

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Speaker 2: there and many more adults, so I don't know, it's

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Speaker 2: definitely well over a hundred. I know on life floor

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Speaker 2: there's like how many ladies. It's like eleven twelve ladies

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Speaker 2: on my floor.

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Speaker 3: This is this is kind of why I've never heard

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Speaker 3: I mean i've I've of course, I've heard of like

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Speaker 3: you know, like government sponsors shelters, but I've never ever

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Speaker 3: heard of like these like strict religious Well, they don't really.

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Speaker 2: Call themselves a shelter. They call themselves a residential program

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Speaker 2: or like a transitional living program, which I think is

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Speaker 2: more suitable because they don't really offer emergency shelter, not

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Speaker 2: at the Women's center.

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Speaker 5: They're more of.

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Speaker 2: Like you apply, they accept you, and then you do

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Speaker 2: the program and you have to go to their Bible

300
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Speaker 2: class and you have to go to there. What's the

301
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 2: other thing? You have to go to a parenting class

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Speaker 2: even if you don't have and you don't want kids,

303
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 2: but you have to do the class. And if you

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Speaker 2: don't do it, you know, if you get ridden up

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Speaker 2: three times because you didn't follow the rules, if you

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Speaker 2: got back after curfew.

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Speaker 5: Et cetera.

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Speaker 2: You know, then you get written up three times, you're out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, I mean, let's talk about you, Sapphire.

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Speaker 3: So you have this job you're helping out kids in

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Speaker 3: the school. Is it a paid job?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it has a paid job. I'm so hard

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Speaker 2: paying job I've had.

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Speaker 3: Great, you're saving up some money? M hm great. Do

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Speaker 3: you have Do you have like friends and family?

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Speaker 2: I do have family? Are they reliable? Are they able

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Speaker 2: to help me?

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Speaker 5: Not? At this time? My brother.

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00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,040
Speaker 2: Is moving to a different country and he's been struggling

320
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,440
Speaker 2: too lately. He's moving to a different older brother moving

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Speaker 2: to a different country. My younger brother was recently arrested,

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Speaker 2: not for the first time, but for uh, what is

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00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:50,000
Speaker 2: it fleeing or attempting to elude, and that was multiple counts.

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Speaker 2: They had to stop the car with a spike strip.

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Speaker 2: So that's interesting. So he can't help me. He's homeless

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Speaker 2: right now himself, and he refuses to follow anyone's rules.

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Speaker 2: So he declines, you know, my like me telling him

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Speaker 2: go to the shelter, Like what are you gonna do?

329
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Speaker 2: You want to be homeless or go stay to shelter

330
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,080
Speaker 2: and have to follow a few rules. You know, I'll

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Speaker 2: understand it's strict, but like, what are you going to do?

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Speaker 2: And he's like, oh, but they won't let me smoke

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,639
Speaker 2: weed there, And I'm like, well, so you'd rather be

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Speaker 2: homeless and smoke weed? Okay, great? My sister is that's

335
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,119
Speaker 2: she's my sister, and I'm just gonna leave it at that.

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00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,680
Speaker 2: I love them all, but you know, she's not able

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00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 2: to help me. She's got, you know, obligations of her

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00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,399
Speaker 2: own to take care of and you know, so there's that,

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00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,359
Speaker 2: and these are all like I've helped my siblings a

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Speaker 2: lot when I was in a good, you know place,

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Speaker 2: and I had my own place for five years, you know,

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00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,000
Speaker 2: in the years leading up to this. I have my

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00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 2: own place and everything. So I've helped them, they've stayed

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Speaker 2: with me, they've borrowed my car, et cetera. And then

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00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,119
Speaker 2: I have my parents, not an option, my mom different state.

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Speaker 2: My dad out of the country, and he's a jerk

347
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:03,360
Speaker 2: and I don't like him very much. Uh, but he

348
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,879
Speaker 2: is married to a very wealthy woman, so good for him.

349
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Speaker 2: My the person who raised me, like as my stepdad,

350
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 2: another state, and he's you know, remarried now and he

351
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 2: doesn't really care about me anyway. And my grandparents are

352
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:22,040
Speaker 2: living in a like hotel room here, and my grandma's

353
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,159
Speaker 2: a hoarder, so her house in a different like she

354
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,679
Speaker 2: has a house in a different city, and then she

355
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 2: has like a hotel room that she privately owns here

356
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 2: in this city where I live. And so she's taking

357
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Speaker 2: care of my great grandma and there's no room there.

358
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,479
Speaker 2: And like I said, she's a hoarder. It's very you

359
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,639
Speaker 2: have to like walk sideways to like get through the place.

360
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Speaker 2: So I can't really stay with her.

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Speaker 5: So that's it.

362
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Speaker 2: Sorry, My my answer is a very long wing.

363
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Speaker 5: Did I call?

364
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 3: Oh, it's okay, it's okay, So okay, Well I'll say

365
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 3: this thing. It's nice. I think the What is I

366
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:00,719
Speaker 3: guess what's good to be about this phone call is

367
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 3: that you know, though you've been there a year, you

368
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:12,639
Speaker 3: don't seem to have drank the kool aid? What do

369
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:17,960
Speaker 3: you mean, like, I don't know. It seems as though

370
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,159
Speaker 3: this is a place. I assume you're you want you

371
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 3: want to leave this place. You are you're trying to

372
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 3: save up and you want to get.

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Speaker 2: Out of Yeah. Yeah, I've been looking at apartments actually lately.

374
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 3: Okay, great, because this place and I don't know these

375
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 3: and I don't I'm I'm making assumptions about things that

376
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 3: I don't know. But it seems like the kind of

377
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 3: place that I guess wants you to be in some

378
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: form of like submission to them, you know. And I'm

379
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 3: sure that a lot of people go through this system

380
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 3: and have gone through the things you've gone through, and

381
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,919
Speaker 3: have you know, been in this place, and they find themselves,

382
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 3: you know, again in some form of of submission. And

383
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 3: I don't know, I guess, I don't know. I guess

384
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,959
Speaker 3: who there's admitting to do you know what kind of

385
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 3: I guess what I'm saying like, this seems like the

386
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: kind of place where they want you to like join

387
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 3: them and serve their mission and their rules and be

388
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: there kind of like you know, uh, submit to whatever

389
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 3: their their thing is. Am I crazy? Am I talking crazy? Uh?

390
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 2: I am so sorry? Could you repeat that last part?

391
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 3: I'm no, it's okay, I'm I'm I'm being vague, but

392
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 3: you know, you're yeah, you know, I think I think that,

393
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: Uh it's good that you have a plan to get

394
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Speaker 3: out of the situation.

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00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 1: You know.

396
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 5: Sorry.

397
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,159
Speaker 3: I'm reading the chat of on the twitch and a

398
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 3: lot of people are saying it sounds like a lot

399
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 3: of people are saying it sounds like a cult and

400
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: maybe that got into my head. But this person said,

401
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 3: this sounds cultist, but this is how all transitional living

402
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,880
Speaker 3: facilities work.

403
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, everywhere you go, they're going to have rules and

404
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,960
Speaker 2: things like that that they expect you to follow. When

405
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 2: it's actually not my first time being in a situation

406
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 2: like this. When I was like ten years ago, I

407
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 2: my things happened with my parents and everything, and my

408
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 2: stepdad stole my last bit of money and I didn't

409
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,320
Speaker 2: know what I was going to do, and we were

410
00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 2: getting kicked out of this place that we were in.

411
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 2: Kids Apparently they were not paying rents at all, and

412
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 2: so I went to like, you know, a shelter then

413
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 2: and I was only there for a few months. But

414
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 2: but it's things doing rules, curfew, don't bring food inside,

415
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 2: that kind of thing, you know, like make sure things

416
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 2: are nice to meet when you leave. I know, there's

417
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 2: always rules, and I guess, I guess I don't know

418
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 2: if it's clear that like while they're like, well, like

419
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,160
Speaker 2: I have been saying, like, yeah, there's a few things

420
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 2: that could change, it doesn't change the fact that I

421
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,640
Speaker 2: am grateful and that my experience, despite being a little

422
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 2: stressful sometimes has largely been a really positive one. And

423
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 2: so I guess I'm hoping that that comes across it,

424
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 2: though I don't know if it does, and I don't

425
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 2: know if the people listening have like taken that from

426
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 2: what I've said.

427
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 3: I think the people listening and me are I probably,

428
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 3: I'm going to assume, are just glad to hear that

429
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 3: you feel as though you have a path forward, that is,

430
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:02,679
Speaker 3: you know, your own I would say, m hm, well.

431
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 2: Thanks and thanks to the people listening to for their positivity.

432
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 3: Well, Shiit Sapphire, I appreciate you sharing all of this

433
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:14,760
Speaker 3: with us.

434
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 2: I appreciate you listening. I don't really have people to

435
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,399
Speaker 2: talk to, so thank you.

436
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,760
Speaker 3: Is there any other you know, is there any other

437
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:26,440
Speaker 3: kind of aspect of of anything at all, or of

438
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 3: any of this or whatever that you that you wanted

439
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 3: to talk about?

440
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 2: You know, I guess I wasn't really one hundred percent

441
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 2: clear on what I was going to talk about when

442
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 2: I got on the phone anyway, So I'm just glad

443
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 2: that I'm just glad that I got to talk to

444
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 2: you at all, and I appreciate that you listened.

445
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 3: Welcome, well, well, thank you, Sapphire. Good luck to you,

446
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 3: and you have a have a good rest of your day,

447
00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 3: you too, goodbye bye, Sapphire. That was interesting. I am no,

448
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 3: I've never heard of like the but she was right about, like,

449
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 3: I guess all of all of these places have rules,

450
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 3: you know. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I've I've

451
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 3: never heard of like a religious private shelter that like

452
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 3: makes you go to church. I don't know. I feel

453
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 3: like I'm probably there's probably gonna be people in the

454
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: Spotify comments that are like this is this is the

455
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 3: the Jenkins whatever in in uh southern Oklahoma, And I'm like,

456
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 3: I don't know, I'll I'll I guess I'll figure that

457
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 3: out when I read the comments. But I don't even

458
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 3: I don't even give a fuck about any of that ship.

459
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 3: I'm just glad that this lady seems to be getting

460
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 3: on her feet and doing okay, so that's good.

461
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 5: Hello, Oh my god, you're kidding me?

462
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 3: What's up? What's up?

463
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 5: Cat? We talked? We talked a while ago.

464
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 3: How long ago did we talk?

465
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 5: Just like, let's see, a couple of months. I guess

466
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 5: I'm the one who makes stickers.

467
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 3: You're the one who makes stickers. You'll have to be

468
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 3: Can you give me more we more specific?

469
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 1: Yeah?

470
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 5: Sorry, I'm like just waking up. Okay, wow, I readly.

471
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 3: Wait hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Actually

472
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 3: are you you're like a coach of some kind, right, yeah, exactly? Okay, yes, sorry,

473
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 3: I remember exactly who.

474
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 5: I was, visiting my mom and my brother. Yeah, and

475
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 5: I actually happened to be back in Maryland right now

476
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 5: visiting my mom and my brother.

477
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 3: So yeah, no, I remember our conversation. I liked our

478
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 3: conversation very much. I remember. I don't remember, like I know,

479
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 3: we talked for a long time about just life in general.

480
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 3: But yeah, I know, I gotta ask you, So, did

481
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 3: you get any coaching class? I know that, I know that,

482
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 3: you know. I don't think people come on here to

483
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 3: self promote, but I really liked our conversation and so

484
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,639
Speaker 3: I was super happy to have you promote yourself on there.

485
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 3: Did you get any good, any any feedback or clients

486
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 3: or anything from our conversation?

487
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 5: Dude, I did. I got two clients from our conversation,

488
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:15,400
Speaker 5: as well as really awesome coffee with somebody else who

489
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 5: wants to do like more of what I'm doing. So

490
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 5: I had like a lot of really cool connections based

491
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 5: on that episode.

492
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 3: Actually, well, that's so cool. You met somebody in real

493
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 3: life who messaged you from the show.

494
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 5: I had multiple people message me from the show and

495
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 5: join my coaching program. And I did one on one

496
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 5: coaching with two different people who found me because of

497
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 5: that episode.

498
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 3: That's so cool. I mean, I don't know, you don't

499
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 3: have to get into specifics if these are like private things,

500
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 3: but like, what, how did the sessions go?

501
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

502
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 5: Awesome. They've actually both like moved on from coaching in

503
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 5: really awesome ways. So one, I don't want to get

504
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,399
Speaker 5: too specific because I haven't actually asked most I can

505
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 5: talk about them. But one decided that based on our

506
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 5: focus in coaching, which was focused a lot on like

507
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 5: mental health and just like solidifying your routine as a

508
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 5: creative and as a business owner before like giving away

509
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 5: all of your time to all of these other things.

510
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 5: And essentially because of that focus, he decided, you know

511
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 5: what I really want right now is therapy. So he

512
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 5: left coaching to go pursue therapy, which I was like,

513
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 5: that's perfect, that's amazing, that's exactly what should happen. And

514
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 5: then the other had a really similar story of like

515
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 5: they came to me saying, Okay, I want to do

516
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 5: something else with my life, not what I'm doing, and

517
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 5: then they left coaching because they had transitioned into doing

518
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 5: the thing with their life.

519
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 3: Oh so what do they end up doing with their life?

520
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 3: Or is that? I guess that's too much to I ask.

521
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 5: That's probably too much. But they landed their dream job essentially,

522
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 5: and it was like a work steady gig. So they're

523
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 5: studying to pursue their dream job. But because they're studying,

524
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,679
Speaker 5: they get to work in that field.

525
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 3: Also cool man, Well I'm super had. Yeah, I know,

526
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 3: I remember I really liked our conversation. We talked a

527
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 3: lot about just like ADHD.

528
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 5: Crap, Yes exactly.

529
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry, happy to hear me.

530
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,959
Speaker 5: Like he was like, so, what are you gonna call

531
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 5: Lyle back? And I was like, oh, I mean, I

532
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 5: guess I should like make some progress in my life

533
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 5: and like talk to my mom and like do kind

534
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 5: of the stuff that you and I had talked about.

535
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 5: And it's just I don't know. I saw the notification

536
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 5: that you're gone live and I was like, yeah, I'm

537
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 5: not perfect.

538
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll.

539
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 5: Call three times and then on the third time you

540
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 5: picked up.

541
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 3: No, it's I'm happy to hear that you were. I

542
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 3: love I love when like this podcast is like a

543
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: I love that it's like a what it could have

544
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 3: like a domino effect, you know. I mean I remember

545
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: in the early days when I was like a little

546
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 3: bit more twitch and discord focused. You know, there were

547
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: people talked about like meeting each other in the twitch

548
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: chat or in the discord or you know. I know

549
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 3: that they were back when at the cave on and

550
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 3: he got a lot of you know, people hitting him up,

551
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 3: and it was you know, it's quite I love I

552
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 3: love shit like that, Like when people connect with each other,

553
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: you know, based off of like finding each other on

554
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 3: the show. It's cool, It's it's like, uh, I love

555
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 3: that this ship you know, extends beyond me, and I.

556
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 5: Love that you are not just like willing but eager

557
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 5: to use your platform in that way because I know,

558
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 5: like I know for me, the difference it's made in

559
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 5: my life. Like it literally, I I'm like full on

560
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 5: my client loads like I I did it. I made

561
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 5: the business happen because I'd not like to attribute all

562
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 5: of it, but like a big part of it was

563
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 5: just getting the name out there from showing up on

564
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 5: your episode.

565
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 3: Fuck, yeah, that's awesome, that's great. Well shit, kat, Well,

566
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: let me see here, let me see here. Is there

567
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: any other like kind of updates that you wanna you

568
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 3: want to give us?

569
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, what's new in my life? Let's see.

570
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 2: I don't know, I think.

571
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 5: Honestly, I think that's like as much as I wanted

572
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 5: to tell you, it's just Hey, it worked, we did

573
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 5: the thing. Thanks, thanks for collaborating making it happen.

574
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 3: Any Oh well, okay, this will be my last question. Then,

575
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 3: I guess is there any other stickers down the line

576
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 3: that we should know about or any new sticker designs

577
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: that you could audibly describe to us.

578
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 5: You know what, there aren't, And I'm really glad you asked,

579
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 5: because that's like the self promo that would be My

580
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 5: ask is send me your sticker design. I know that

581
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 5: I want to draw the demon Tiger from K Pop

582
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 5: Demon Hunters. I don't know if you've seen it, but

583
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 5: I'm obsessed of course.

584
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: And it comes up on my on my Netflix, like

585
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 3: it's the first thing that comes up on my Netflix.

586
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 5: So you haven't watched it yet.

587
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 3: No, I haven't watched it yet, but like it just

588
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 3: like it throws itself fat me. It really wants me

589
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 3: to get into it.

590
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 5: Well, here's the thing, and I'm gonna give you a

591
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 5: glowing recommendation of K Pop Demon Hunters. And I know,

592
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 5: I know the hesitation of I'm not gonna watch that

593
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 5: because it's a kids movie, it's a musical, it's animated.

594
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 5: You're like, Netflix is really pushing this down my throat.

595
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 5: I want to ignore it. Here's the thing. You can't

596
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 5: because remember back in the day when Pixar was making

597
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 5: all these awesome fucking films and we would like watch

598
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 5: like robots fall in love and Save the Earth.

599
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 3: And you're telling me that, you're telling me that this

600
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 3: thing that I saw on my Netflix that I honestly

601
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 3: brushed off as a joke K Pop Demon Hunter is

602
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 3: too on the nose. K It's like too yep, it's

603
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 3: too culturally, just on the nose of a thing. I'm like,

604
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 3: I'm I you know, I know, and then I and

605
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 3: you're telling me it's Pixar level quality.

606
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 5: I am telling you it. It is like the rebirth

607
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 5: of the original pick Star like Life and Breath of

608
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 5: Animation films, but it's from Sony who produced The Mitchells

609
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 5: and the Machines and Spider Verse.

610
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: And Okay, I like, oh, okay, all right, so it's

611
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,959
Speaker 3: of that caliber of thing. I didn't like the Mitchells

612
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 3: and the Machines, but I like the Spider Verse exactly

613
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 3: the way. Yeah, I like, I like, I like that style. Okay,

614
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be super So.

615
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 5: It's so annoying, it's so like culturally, yeah, I get it,

616
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 5: and I was like, it's I had the same thought,

617
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,080
Speaker 5: and then I just sucked it up and watched it

618
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 5: because I got a glowing recommendation from somebody I trust,

619
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 5: and they are indeed correct, and you just go into

620
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 5: it knowing, Okay, it's so on the nose, it's going

621
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,520
Speaker 5: to be fun. It's fun. That's it.

622
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll think, I'll I'll think about it and probably

623
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 3: not do it. But even if I want somebody listening

624
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 3: to this, my give it a shot, and that's worth something.

625
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 5: I watched. So I watched K Pop Demon Hunters with

626
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 5: my mom and my stepdad last night as our emotional

627
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 5: support movie because my nice a friend of mine, had

628
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 5: recommended that, like she had gone and seen some family

629
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,719
Speaker 5: and they watched it, and I was like, oh, that's perfect,

630
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 5: it's nice, neutral ground, it's just media. It's good. So

631
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 5: I watched it with them and then like remembered all

632
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 5: over again why I love it so much and watched

633
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,959
Speaker 5: like two hours on YouTube afterwards to fall asleep of

634
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 5: other people talking about K Pop Demon Hunters.

635
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 3: That's the only reason to finish any movie or TV

636
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 3: show is so that you can be spoiler spoiler free

637
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 3: and go on YouTube and watch other people talk about

638
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 3: it exactly, Kat, is there anything else you want to

639
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 3: say to the people of the computer before we go?

640
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 5: Hang in there, Everybody, when you set goals and you

641
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,719
Speaker 5: work toward them. You get there, I promise.

642
00:33:54,920 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 3: Thanks for calling Kat. Thanks Lyle, that's a nice return call. Yeah.

643
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: I forget what the name of that episode that we

644
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 3: did was, but I do remember her and uh again,

645
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 3: very cool that I love. I love seeing lines intersect

646
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 3: because of this show. You know that things that you

647
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 3: know are beyond me. I think it's cool. Hello, hey, Lyell,

648
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 3: what's up man? What's your name? My name is Richard, Richard.

649
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,919
Speaker 3: That's my uh yeah, that's my father's name.

650
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 1: Oh it's a fake name. It's a pretty good fake name.

651
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 3: Then, oh okay, well you know what, that's also a

652
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 3: fake name for my father. I'm not I'm being serious.

653
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,439
Speaker 3: That actually is not my father's name.

654
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 1: Very good.

655
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,279
Speaker 3: So it's my fake name for my father and your

656
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: fake name for yourself.

657
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: Well, Richard, I'll be honest. I was gonna make a joke.

658
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: I can be like, hey, my name's Richard, but you

659
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: can call me Dick.

660
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:55,880
Speaker 3: That's not a joke. That's just a statement. That's just

661
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:56,959
Speaker 3: an accurate thing.

662
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the dick part was supposed to be the joke.

663
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, So you don't have a thing to be

664
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 3: sorry about, Richard, what's up, man? What do you want

665
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 3: to talk about today?

666
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: Hey, I have a very interesting story. Happened to me

667
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 1: about a month ago. I tried creatum and I took

668
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: cretum for about two weeks. Have you ever heard of creedum?

669
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 4: Uh?

670
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, Kretim is like is very new. They sell it

671
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 3: in Uh. Well, there's kretum and kava bars and uh

672
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 3: I've been to those and I've tried it. I've never

673
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 3: like bought it at a gas station, but I've tried

674
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 3: it at one of the bars, and uh, I gotta

675
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 3: be honest, I don't get it.

676
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: Well, I'll be honest with you. There's nothing to get.

677
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: It's a complete waste of time. It's completely ripoff. But

678
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: it did send me to the hospital for three days.

679
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:45,959
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well then then it's definitely something.

680
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: You would think, but it's really there. Zero out of

681
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: ten would not recommend the experience to anyone else.

682
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 3: What happened? Do you have a heart attack?

683
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 4: No?

684
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 1: So basically I started taking kretum and took it within

685
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,959
Speaker 1: the regulated dose, or at least what the package said,

686
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: and after a while, apparently this caused liver toxicity, and

687
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: the liver toxicity turned me yellow, made me you know,

688
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: vomit immensely, and eventually I was in so much pain

689
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: I went to the hospital with the legitimate belief I

690
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 1: was going to die. Oh man, Yeah, it was pretty

691
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: pretty gnarly. I do not recommend kratim to anyone else.

692
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 3: What were you thinking about when you thought you were

693
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 3: going to die?

694
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: So that's actually really interesting, I realized. And I'll be honest,

695
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 1: I'm actually in my late thirties and you know, married,

696
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: I have a kid on the way, and that's what

697
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,279
Speaker 1: I was thinking about primarily, but quite frankly, I was

698
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: thinking about how much time I wasted and how much

699
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: regret I had up until this point. And it really

700
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: gave me kind of a new lease on life once

701
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 1: I got out of the hospital that I no longer

702
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: want to live with any further regrets or anything like that.

703
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: So maybe some good did come out of this.

704
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 3: Wow, you had like a you had like an LSD

705
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: psychedelic realization, but on kretom.

706
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: Well, yes, yes, while my liver tried to kill.

707
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:29,480
Speaker 3: Itself, what did you okay? So when you thought you

708
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 3: were going to die and you were thinking about your regrets,

709
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 3: what do you regret?

710
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 1: You know, just all the opportunities that I never took

711
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: advantage of because I was too afraid to you know,

712
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: just what you and people call in all the time

713
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 1: about just going up to people and saying hi, introducing yourself,

714
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: really putting yourself out there, because you know, I was

715
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,800
Speaker 1: such I was so afraid of rejection for so long.

716
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,840
Speaker 1: I realized there was a lot of missed opportunities, missed experiences,

717
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: and a lot of stuff I'm probably going to continue

718
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: to regret regret because I obviously can't fix the past.

719
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 3: Okay, well, hold on, hold on, let well let's get

720
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 3: into a few things. I You also mentioned wasted time, right,

721
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 3: what did you waste time doing?

722
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,240
Speaker 1: Pretty much nothing, whether it was you know, just getting

723
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: intoxicated on alcohol or you know, alone playing video games

724
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 1: in my room till like two in the morning. Just

725
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 1: a lot of time I felt like it could have

726
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: been better spent either bettering myself, whether it's you know,

727
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: physical exercise, doing something a little more productive, reading books,

728
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: meeting people, talking to people, all that type of stuff.

729
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 3: Okay, and then what are these opportunities that you because

730
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 3: you're saying and how old are you thirty eight?

731
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 1: Thirty eight and.

732
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 3: You're saying that you're going to continue to regret these things.

733
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 3: What is it that you continue to regret moving forward

734
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 3: that you see yourself continuing to regret well.

735
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:09,279
Speaker 1: You know, not introducing myself to certain people or taking

736
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: advantage of certain opportunity. I don't want to like be

737
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: too specific, but you know, it's very It's a classic.

738
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 1: You know, Hey, should I go up to that girl

739
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: and talk to her? Know a way she might say

740
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: no to a friend's buddy.

741
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 3: Richard, Richard, Richard, you have a wife and a kid.

742
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 3: What are you talking about?

743
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm very happy to where I am. But

744
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 1: I realized at that time, you know, when I was

745
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 1: making those decisions, I was regretting not making those choices

746
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: to put myself out there.

747
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 3: Okay, but's always what I hear. I'm sorry to keep

748
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 3: an ardent you. But when you say you were like,

749
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,280
Speaker 3: so okay, so I assume because here's the thing. Romantically,

750
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,359
Speaker 3: I mean, you seem like you're happily married and you

751
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 3: have a wife, so romantically everything worked out. You happy

752
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 3: with your wife absolutely? Okay, wonderfully you didn't even hesitate

753
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 3: that you're so there's regrets there and then, so what

754
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 3: are you regretful of?

755
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 1: Just not putting myself out there because of fear of rejection.

756
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 3: Okay, what do you want? What would you You're not dead,

757
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 3: You're not dead there, you're not dead. You almost died.

758
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:21,240
Speaker 3: You almost died in a pretty hilarious way. Yes, which

759
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 3: you know good, and now you're not dead. And so

760
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 3: you want to live life differently? What do you want

761
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 3: to do differently?

762
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 1: You know, I want to And it's a little I

763
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 1: don't want to say, too late to do this, but

764
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: I do want to put myself out there. I do

765
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,760
Speaker 1: want to, you know, perhaps talk to people, get involved,

766
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: do stuff, not just you know, go home, nine to

767
00:40:43,719 --> 00:40:46,479
Speaker 1: five job, go home, wait until you go to bed,

768
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,720
Speaker 1: wake up, do it all over again. Hey, the weekend comes,

769
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: we're just basically wasting time waiting for Monday to come.

770
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 1: I want to get up, you know. I want to exercise.

771
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to start to exercise once I'm one hundred percent.

772
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 1: I want to read more. So I really want to

773
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: take life more by the horns, you know.

774
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I I guess I'm a

775
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 3: little bothered by the fact that you're saying that you're

776
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,800
Speaker 3: going to continue, Like, why are you holding on to

777
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 3: this regret?

778
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: It's you know, it's it's all it's fear of missing

779
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: out basically, you know, all the stuff that could have happened,

780
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 1: which I understand. I'm very happy with my current wife. Yeah,

781
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: just you know, perhaps it's one of those instances where

782
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: you you're not satisfied kind of what you have and

783
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: you want what you could have had.

784
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 4: But I don't know.

785
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 1: I'm very satisfied with what I had, but there's still

786
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: going to be that bad regret.

787
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 3: Sure, But I don't know. Man, you seem like you

788
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 3: have a nice life, right, You got a nice you

789
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 3: have a wife, really happy with, you have a kid.

790
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 3: I'm sure you're really happy with and so I mean

791
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: you want like uh I I guess it sounds like

792
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 3: you want like uh, you know, friends and community and

793
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 3: experiences and to do weird, cool, interesting things. And I

794
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 3: I don't see any reason why you can't do those

795
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 3: things as long as you're not you know, letting your

796
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: child starve or whatever.

797
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: What's I live in a rural part of America.

798
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 3: Okay, that's a little bit tougher.

799
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 1: It's a little bit tougher, but you know, that's one

800
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,479
Speaker 1: of the things you that would prevent me from going

801
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 1: to do something as oh, you know, that's an hour

802
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: and a half drive from here, now, you know, kind

803
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 1: of after getting out of the hospital and you know,

804
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 1: I thinking I was going to die for two days.

805
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: I that's not that big of a deal. An hour

806
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 1: and a half drive to go to an event to

807
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: meet a bunch of people. Like that's the type of

808
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: stuff I'm talking about where I'm much more open to

809
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: that stuff.

810
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: Now, good cool. I like that. I don't, but I

811
00:42:55,000 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 3: am I just I'm, I guess in talking to you.

812
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 4: Uh.

813
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 3: The the thing about like I'm going to continue to

814
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 3: regret the past, I think is uh, I mean, I'm I'm.

815
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 3: I was about to say I'm being an armchair therapist,

816
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 3: but I guess that's the whole thing of the thing.

817
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 3: It's like, I mean, it's why would you do that?

818
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 3: It's like a it doesn't serve you in any way,

819
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: shape or form to hold that because you could convert it, right,

820
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 3: Because I and I went on this rant recently and

821
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 3: I've been thinking about this in my own life with

822
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 3: these things, and I constantly checked myself. I'm like, do

823
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 3: I have any regrets? And the good nobody does any

824
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 3: nobody does everything one hundred percent correct. I went on

825
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: this fucking rant on the show already, but I'll do

826
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 3: it again, like the nobody does any nobody lives life

827
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 3: one hundred percent correctly, and everything is just error, correction

828
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 3: and just fucking up. You're in correcting, and so, you know,

829
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:04,439
Speaker 3: like to sit and carry any amount of like ah

830
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 3: shucks that could have been different is not a It's

831
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 3: not a good mindset, right. Instead, it's like, Okay, well,

832
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 3: I made those decisions that I didn't you know, I

833
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,719
Speaker 3: made them with the body and the mind that I

834
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 3: had at the time I made them. But look, I

835
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,439
Speaker 3: you know, I have a fucking wife and a kid,

836
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 3: and I have a job, and I have a house,

837
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 3: and I have energy, and I'm I'm thirty eight and

838
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 3: I have I'm you know, relatively young. I'm not seventy four.

839
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna die. Let's see what

840
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 3: I can do in the future. You know, I think

841
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 3: just to hold on to regrets of the past is

842
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 3: a really unhelpful thing to do, unless, if it so,

843
00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 3: I mean, it's already served you in the way that

844
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 3: it should, which is directing your future. And it seems

845
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 3: like it's already done that.

846
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:56,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like what you're saying about error correction, because

847
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: that's honestly what life is about. You're never I mean,

848
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: you only get one shot at it, so you're never

849
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 1: going to do it perfectly. So that kind of yeah,

850
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,880
Speaker 1: I guess. And I'm really trying to deal with the

851
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: concept of letting go of that, you know, fear of

852
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 1: missing out, regret, kind of whatever you want to call it.

853
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 1: It just doesn't go away. It's kind of easier said

854
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 1: than done. Just like this isn't serving me.

855
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 3: I'm going to get rid of it totally. You're and

856
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 3: by the way, you're one hundred percent right. It's absolutely

857
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 3: easier said and done. I have hundreds of thousands of

858
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 3: I have so many thoughts and behaviors and emotions constantly

859
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 3: every day that do not serve me in any way,

860
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 3: shape or form that I know don't serve me in

861
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 3: any way, shape or form. That correct is easier said

862
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 3: than done. But you know what, but I just don't

863
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 3: just don't let it get in the way of you

864
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 3: doing the shit you want to do. You know, oh absolutely,

865
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 3: I mean it'll be illle trickier when you have I mean,

866
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,279
Speaker 3: has your what has your is your you have a

867
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,399
Speaker 3: pregnant wife, right, Yes, is she is? She like, Hey,

868
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 3: what the fuck? What are you doing driving an hour

869
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,879
Speaker 3: and a half to go to this chess game?

870
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 1: You now because i'm uh, you know, I'm she she

871
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 1: saw kind of my transformation over the past few months

872
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: after this incident happened. No, she's She's happy that I'm

873
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: being a lot more active. I'm not just sitting on

874
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: the couch kind of waiting for the weekend to be

875
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: over so i can do my nine to five crap. Again.

876
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 3: That's a nice lady. That's great.

877
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

878
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 3: Hm, well, I'm glad that you have a new lease

879
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,760
Speaker 3: on life. I mean, sounds like it sounds like sounds

880
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 3: like you have a perfect testimonial. This is the best

881
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 3: testimonial I've ever heard for creedom.

882
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:51,839
Speaker 5: Yes, I'll tell you this.

883
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: Never listen to a product that's, you know, being sold

884
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: to you by a podcasting Cometown.

885
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 3: You heard about you heard about Creatim from Cometown. Yeah,

886
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 3: they advertise it that's really funny. Yeah, I don't know, Well,

887
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 3: I don't know it's funny. Look at like I mean,

888
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 3: I don't know. Look at the Cometown guys. They're all

889
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: around your age and they're all fucking still doing things.

890
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: There's no way they're doing creative as well.

891
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 3: No, they're probably not doing creatim. What's your name again, man, Richard?

892
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 3: Richard Richard? There's anything else you want to say to

893
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 3: the people of the computer before we go, or I

894
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 3: don't know, if I don't know, if if you feel

895
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 3: like there's anything else you want to say about any

896
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 3: of this stuff, I'm happy to keep talking about it.

897
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: But if not, you know, no worries.

898
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 1: Oh no, I just wanted to share my testimonials, create

899
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:48,720
Speaker 1: them and basically tell everyone, look, be kind to one another.

900
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: We only got one chance at this, so let's at

901
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: least not be dicks to each other.

902
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,080
Speaker 3: Thank you, Richard, I'll see around the universe.

903
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: You have a great day there.

904
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 3: Well. I think about regret a fair amount. I don't

905
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 3: I don't have I don't really have any regret. I think, well,

906
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 3: I have a few regrets, but I don't let them

907
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 3: destroy me. I mainly I mainly regret anytime that I

908
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 3: was a dick or that I was Most of my

909
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 3: regrets are about very like emotionally charged things, because anytime

910
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:34,759
Speaker 3: I was a dick, there was some like emotional quotient

911
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: to it. I think that's always true. I don't think

912
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 3: anyone in their I don't think anyone's ever a dick

913
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 3: in their right mind. You know, you have like the

914
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 3: higher versions of yourself when you're you know, like uh,

915
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 3: when you're like like like, there's a lot of versions

916
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 3: of me. There's me when I'm dressed in fully I'm

917
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 3: fully clothed, and I'm like at a place and I'm

918
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: on my laptop. That's a very different guy than you know,

919
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 3: me naked in my room, you know, jerking off at

920
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 3: four am. Those are different guys. And I think I

921
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 3: don't know anytime that's just one example or or you know,

922
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 3: me when I'm pissed off, that's a different guy. Or

923
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 3: me when I'm annoyed or I have low energy, that's

924
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:30,440
Speaker 3: a different guy. But when I'm at the because I'm

925
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 3: not like you know, thinking about your regrets in life

926
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 3: is something you do when you're at the higher version

927
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 3: of yourself. You're not gonna You're not like uh, you know,

928
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 3: jerking off or like annoyed at someone screaming at you

929
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,600
Speaker 3: on the subway or whatever, and being like what regrets

930
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 3: do I have in my life? You're just emotionally existing.

931
00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 3: And so this, you know, is a constant fight between you,

932
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 3: you as you emotionally exists, and you as you logically exist,

933
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 3: and me as I logically exist. I think I'm I'm yeah.

934
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 3: That's why I gras anytimes I was a dick or

935
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 3: was worried too much. Hello, Hey, what's up?

936
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 4: That's insane?

937
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: Hi?

938
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 4: I love your podcast all the time when I'm at work, dude.

939
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 3: Hell, yeah, what's your name? My name is Fran Fran Okay,

940
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:33,959
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna actually remember your name this time, Fran,

941
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 3: I wanted.

942
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 4: To call you and talk about my job because I

943
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 4: love my wor so much.

944
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 3: Sure have we ever? We never spoken before? Right?

945
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 5: Never?

946
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 3: No rock and roll? Hit me? What's what's what's your job?

947
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 4: So? I work at a farm. It's a goat farm

948
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 4: and they do baby goat rentals is super fun and

949
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 4: they go to fairs and you can do baby goat snuggling.

950
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 3: You can rent a baby goat.

951
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 4: Yes, you can rent a goat for for like a

952
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 4: night or two. It's it's really fun.

953
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 3: Well, how much does it cost to rent a goat?

954
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:21,479
Speaker 4: It depends on how many goats you're getting. I think

955
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 4: one is like sixty dollars, and it depends on how

956
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 4: long you're having them.

957
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 3: How much does it cost to rent a goat for

958
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 3: one night?

959
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 4: For one night? I'm not entirely sure. I kind of

960
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 4: I don't really do the rental part of it. I

961
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 4: take care of the farm animals.

962
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,400
Speaker 3: Where's where in the country is this farm located? Not

963
00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 3: like the exact but like you know, general regions.

964
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 4: I can tell you the exact because the farm I

965
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 4: work on actually has a YouTube channel and everything. Oh okay,

966
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 4: So I work on a farm called Steinmetz Family Farm

967
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 4: and it's in Temple, Pa.

968
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 3: Okay, And now do you do do you vet the

969
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 3: people who rent these? You could? Like if so, if

970
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 3: I have sixty dollars, I can take a goat and

971
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 3: bring it home with no questions asked. There's that's all

972
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,719
Speaker 3: I need. There is there is there a vetting process

973
00:52:17,719 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 3: of any kind.

974
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 4: So obviously, like the goats have all their shots before.

975
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 5: They get with you.

976
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,520
Speaker 4: And then my boss will take a picture of your

977
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 4: ID and just make sure like you know your license

978
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 4: plate and make sure like you're a safe person.

979
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 3: Can I ask you something this? It's just it's in

980
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:40,319
Speaker 3: my mind and it's my fault that it's in my mind.

981
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: But I got to ask you this question. Of course,

982
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 3: you think people are sucking these goats, but.

983
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,560
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not.

984
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:56,000
Speaker 3: You don't think there's been a single little freaky guy

985
00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 3: in like, you know, rural Pennsylvania who is like I

986
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 3: have sixty dollars and I'm alone and I and he

987
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 3: try wants to fuck a goat. You don't think that's

988
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 3: ever happened.

989
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, people who rent from us usually are moms

990
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:18,879
Speaker 4: or family, older people. I don't I don't think that's

991
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 4: ever happened.

992
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 3: Okay, someone else has a twitch I don't usually read

993
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 3: the twitch chat, but somebody else in the twitch chat

994
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 3: said I had the exact same thought, and now I

995
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,840
Speaker 3: feel a little less crazy. You've never had like a

996
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 3: you've never had like a like a ghoolie looking older

997
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 3: gentleman come up and you've never had that.

998
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 4: No, but my boss has had people come to the

999
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:42,920
Speaker 4: farm and try to buy the.

1000
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 5: Goats to eat.

1001
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, my boss has never let that happen.

1002
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:49,759
Speaker 1: Though.

1003
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 3: Isn't it funny that's isn't it funny that that's like,

1004
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:59,279
Speaker 3: that's theoretically worse for the goat. I guess. I don't know.

1005
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:02,840
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know either.

1006
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 4: I've actually that thought has never crossed my line.

1007
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 3: Well, you're you're a good You're a good person that

1008
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 3: the thought has never crossed your mind. You're a good you.

1009
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 3: Your brain stays within uh normal human being limits. I

1010
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 3: appreciate that about you.

1011
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 4: I I love I love animals so much. They're my

1012
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 4: heart and soul.

1013
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,439
Speaker 3: So what do people just like rent the goats? And

1014
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 3: what do they do with them? They just like take

1015
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 3: them home for a second.

1016
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, some people take them home for parties, like birthday parties.

1017
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 4: Some people just have them for you know, kids birthdays,

1018
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,719
Speaker 4: like when the kid is having a birthday and she

1019
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:57,399
Speaker 4: wants a specific goat because we go to fairs and

1020
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 4: we do goats snuggling there. So people will pick a

1021
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 4: favorite goat and then for their birthday they might come

1022
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 4: to rent that specific oat.

1023
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:11,759
Speaker 3: So, and how long have you been working with these goats?

1024
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:15,120
Speaker 4: I want to say, this is my third month.

1025
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 3: Oh, it's you're very new to the very or new

1026
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 3: to the goat industry. This is the goat industry seems

1027
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:23,240
Speaker 3: like something that is like there's a lot of lifers

1028
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 3: in it.

1029
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:30,520
Speaker 4: It's it's hard work, a lot of lifting, a lot

1030
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 4: of just moving, a lot of hoop.

1031
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 3: And uh and how how how old are you? Friend?

1032
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 4: I'm eighteen?

1033
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 3: Oh shit, okay, you just got into are you? Is

1034
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:52,800
Speaker 3: this like your your thing? Like are you? Are you

1035
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:54,560
Speaker 3: going to go to college or are you going to

1036
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 3: go in into goats?

1037
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 4: So, actually I am going to beauty school then, but

1038
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 4: I'm going to be with the farm for a while.

1039
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 4: I love my job so much, I really do.

1040
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:11,799
Speaker 3: That's very nice. That's very nice. What do you see

1041
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 3: yourself doing it for the future.

1042
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 4: I want to become an esthetician, so that's like skincare,

1043
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 4: makeup stuff like that. I'd love to.

1044
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 5: Pursue that.

1045
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 4: And still volunteer on the farm that I work at.

1046
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 3: M How did you get involved with this farm? Did

1047
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:34,280
Speaker 3: you mention that already?

1048
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,840
Speaker 4: No? I did not, But it's actually it's quite a story.

1049
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:44,560
Speaker 4: So my family had chickens at our house, and we

1050
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 4: had six chickens, and one of them got attacked by

1051
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 4: a hawk. Now I still live with my parents, so

1052
00:56:51,840 --> 00:56:54,759
Speaker 4: my family didn't really want to take the chicken to

1053
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 4: the vet because it's a chicken and that's a lot

1054
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:04,760
Speaker 4: of money. So I called the first the first Sorry,

1055
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:09,840
Speaker 4: I called the first petting zoo basically that was near me,

1056
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 4: and I said, can you help me? My chicken is

1057
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 4: heart And that's how I met them.

1058
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 3: And oh shit, was I gonna say? Do you ever

1059
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 3: have do you ever have any like farm rascals? Does

1060
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 3: anyone ever like cause trouble on the farm?

1061
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:35,360
Speaker 5: Yes?

1062
00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 4: Yes, if you're talking goat wise.

1063
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:43,400
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, like any like foxes or trick or tricky critters?

1064
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 4: No, no, no no, but the goats can have quite

1065
00:57:47,520 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 4: big personalities. There's this goat Tenley. Tenley is such a

1066
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 4: pain in the butt. She basically jumped all my back

1067
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 4: and then jumped off my back to get into this

1068
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 4: stall that we have for grains to eat.

1069
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 3: You know, you really you It's like you live in

1070
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 3: a children's book. It's very nice.

1071
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 5: I love it.

1072
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 2: I do.

1073
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 4: I don't have to deal with people always saying things

1074
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 4: and like getting all mad old people especially.

1075
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 1: Or just.

1076
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:24,720
Speaker 3: Well, friend, let me ask you this, I guess is

1077
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 3: there anything else that you want to talk about or

1078
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 3: say before we go?

1079
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 4: Just it's it's a pleasure to be on here. I've

1080
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:37,760
Speaker 4: been wanting to call you since I was sixteen, so

1081
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 4: it's it's amazing.

1082
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad you found a thing that you like doing,

1083
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:49,440
Speaker 3: and I hope that the goats remain remain kind to you.

1084
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, check out the YouTube channel.

1085
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's what is it? Well, I'm gonna look

1086
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 3: at it right now. What is it?

1087
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 4: Sign that family farm.

1088
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 3: Stein Metz Family. Oh, there is Simon's Oh shit, it

1089
00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:09,280
Speaker 3: comes up Maybia. Oh shit, Okay, there we go. Hey there,

1090
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 3: I'm the goat father. Oh. This guy's a really this

1091
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 3: guy's a real goat tuber. What's his most popular video?

1092
00:59:16,240 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 4: It's someone about.

1093
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a big fucking bull. Wait, no, that is

1094
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 3: that a Is that a goat or a bull?

1095
00:59:25,120 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 5: Uh?

1096
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 4: You might be the one where he got stabbed in

1097
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 4: the leg by a bull. My boss is My boss

1098
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:37,520
Speaker 4: is quite a personality. His name's Justin.

1099
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 5: He's he's great.

1100
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 3: My garage is overrun by giant rats. Parentheses not clickbait. Yeah,

1101
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 3: I endorse this. I endorse the Steinmetz Family Farms YouTube channel. Friend,

1102
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:52,720
Speaker 3: is there anything else you want to say to the

1103
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go? Uh? Ryan goats,

1104
00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 3: Thank you friend, have a good rest of your night,

1105
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 3: you too, by bye bye, friend. You know I feel

1106
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 3: I well, Okay, here's the thing. I feel a little

1107
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 3: bad asking if people fuck the goats. But here's the

1108
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 3: thing is, I can't, I really can't not be myself

1109
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 3: and it is of it is of myself to be like,

1110
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 3: are people fucking the goats? So I, yeah, that just happened.

1111
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,680
Speaker 3: That's what I thought when I asked. What occurred in

1112
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 3: my head when I imagined that's the you know in

1113
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 3: rural Pennsylvania. Now there's anything wrong with royal Pennsylvania. But

1114
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, it's what is what? Murphy's law?

1115
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:45,919
Speaker 3: What's the thing? Anything that can happen does happen. That's

1116
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 3: my fault. But uh, this she was a nice suite.

1117
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 3: She seemed like a very wholesome person and that's really

1118
01:00:53,680 --> 01:00:57,920
Speaker 3: that's good. And goats are nice. And I do think

1119
01:00:57,920 --> 01:01:01,200
Speaker 3: you should check out the Steinbutz family farm. They have

1120
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 3: they have cool videos. Hello. Hello, what's up man?

1121
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:05,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

1122
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:06,919
Speaker 6: Did I make it through?

1123
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 1: What's going on? Man?

1124
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 3: How are you? I'm doing okay? Brother? What's uh? What's

1125
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 3: your name?

1126
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 6: My name is William?

1127
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 3: William? Yes, sir, what's going on? William? How you doing, buddy?

1128
01:01:19,440 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 6: I'm doing good, man, I'm doing good. I just wanted

1129
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 6: to talk about a little uh, a little phenomenon that's

1130
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,080
Speaker 6: been pretty relevant to my own life recently.

1131
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 3: Ooh phenomenous.

1132
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 6: Yes, I don't know if it's technically a phenomenon, but

1133
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 6: like why not just call it that?

1134
01:01:40,600 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 1: You know?

1135
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 3: I agree?

1136
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: So pretty much like.

1137
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 6: Having a hobby that turns into a job and then

1138
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 6: you kind of start to hate the hobby. Oh you know,

1139
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 6: So that's kind of what I've been wrestling with a

1140
01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 6: little bit.

1141
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 3: What's your hobby that you turn to a job?

1142
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 6: So I'm a graphic designer. I went to school for it,

1143
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 6: did the whole the whole thing. Now I do it

1144
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 6: as a nine to five, and I'm just like definitely

1145
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:13,600
Speaker 6: not as fun anymore.

1146
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, yeah, I think there's a big I

1147
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,040
Speaker 3: think that separating what you do for money and what

1148
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 3: you do for your own personal sense of enjoyment can

1149
01:02:28,040 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 3: be good. I mean, even like, I mean, dude, even

1150
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 3: like what's his what's his name? I'm not I'm not

1151
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,280
Speaker 3: going to talk about anyone specific because I don't know

1152
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 3: this ship. But like even like famous filmmakers right, like

1153
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 3: they have their little like, you know, weird little movies

1154
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 3: they want to make, but they don't make any fucking money.

1155
01:02:46,720 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1156
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 3: But so then they go and they they sign on

1157
01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 3: to direct like a some Marvel movie or some bullshit right.

1158
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 6: Right, and then that funds like their their passion project

1159
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,680
Speaker 6: for lack of the better, Yeah.

1160
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, if the the thing that you're really

1161
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 3: really really really passionate about is the thing that also

1162
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 3: makes money, you're very lucky. But it's not always the case,

1163
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 3: like even like you know cool, even like if you're

1164
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:13,480
Speaker 3: doing something cool, you know, even if you're doing like

1165
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 3: looking like a YouTube channel or you're making art or whatever,

1166
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 3: it's very rare that like the the exact type of

1167
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 3: art you want to make, the exact version of the

1168
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 3: thing you want to do, is also the thing that

1169
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 3: makes money.

1170
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 6: Right, And then you tend to like romanticize what it

1171
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,200
Speaker 6: would be like, and then you get there and you're like,

1172
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 6: this is not this is not what I pictured you know.

1173
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 6: So I'm kind of kind of in that space, and

1174
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 6: I felt like you could relate to that, because I'm

1175
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 6: sure this started as a hobby for you and now

1176
01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 6: it's grown into something so much more, you know.

1177
01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I could, you know, I could talk

1178
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 3: about that, which is that? So, I mean there's been

1179
01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 3: a lot of ass. There's a lot of aspects to

1180
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 3: what I do and some like there's there are there's

1181
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 3: sort of three categories of the things that I've been

1182
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 3: doing as the Gecko over the years. There's things that

1183
01:04:13,240 --> 01:04:17,919
Speaker 3: are you know, purely lucrative. There's things that are and

1184
01:04:18,040 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 3: there's things that are purely lucrative that I am not like,

1185
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:27,600
Speaker 3: you know, astatic about, I guess, but you know, you

1186
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 3: it's it's a good job to have. There's things that

1187
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:37,880
Speaker 3: are fun and lucrative, like you know, things that make

1188
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 3: money and are also you know, really fun and cool

1189
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 3: and interesting. And then there's things that I I I'm

1190
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 3: like super interested in and love doing and I'm like,

1191
01:04:46,720 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 3: this is the ship, but it does not make any money, yeah,

1192
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:55,600
Speaker 3: and in fact loses money totally, So I I of

1193
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 3: of I I you know, I've been doing a lot

1194
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 3: of different things with the Gecko, between the podcasting and

1195
01:05:00,960 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 3: the touring and the making these little documentaries, and they

1196
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:08,120
Speaker 3: all fit into different categories. But in the in my mind,

1197
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 3: the way I have everything kind of set up is like, Okay,

1198
01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 3: I have certain things that are more lucrative that kind

1199
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 3: of fund the things that I'm really excited about that

1200
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:21,720
Speaker 3: maybe aren't as lucrative. I'd like to live in a

1201
01:05:21,760 --> 01:05:24,280
Speaker 3: world where the things I'm really really soaked on are

1202
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 3: the things that you know, are kind of a self

1203
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:32,640
Speaker 3: sufficient thing. But you know, I think having kind of

1204
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 3: what you do to make money and what you do

1205
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 3: to just be the thing that you like doing, I

1206
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 3: think it's almost kind of good to make those separate,

1207
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:44,520
Speaker 3: because then it's like, you know, when when everything is

1208
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:47,600
Speaker 3: crumpled up into one ball, it's it's you don't really

1209
01:05:47,640 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 3: know where your kind of artistic desires begin and end

1210
01:05:52,640 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 3: and where the money stuff begins and ends. Right, So

1211
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 3: I think if it's okay to have like, Okay, this

1212
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:04,479
Speaker 3: is my graphic design job that I do. I'm good

1213
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:06,240
Speaker 3: at this and I am skilled at it, and so

1214
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:08,120
Speaker 3: this is what I do to just make a living,

1215
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:13,640
Speaker 3: and then it allows me to you know, uh, fund

1216
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 3: the the you know, the crazy furree hen tie that

1217
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,440
Speaker 3: I that I really want to make good. Yeah, no,

1218
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 3: exactly saying you know, whatever it is. But yeah, I

1219
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 3: think I think that's a perfect legitimate way to and

1220
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 3: don't feel bad because it is a real is a

1221
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 3: real inclination to beat yourself up about it is the

1222
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:34,760
Speaker 3: real too.

1223
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,960
Speaker 6: It's like it's like I feel like I should be

1224
01:06:38,080 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 6: super stoked and like, yeah, high on life all the

1225
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 6: time because I was able to turn a hobby into

1226
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:43,640
Speaker 6: a job.

1227
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,080
Speaker 1: But it's like, at the end of the day, it's

1228
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:46,479
Speaker 1: a job.

1229
01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 6: And that's like when I was stoked on it, I

1230
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 6: was doing it for myself, whereas now I feel like

1231
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 6: I'm in service to other people, which is awesome, Like

1232
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 6: I'm glad that people find value in what I do.

1233
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:02,280
Speaker 6: But the same time, it's like, I don't really want

1234
01:07:02,320 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 6: to do this for you, you know.

1235
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:07,800
Speaker 3: Yes, and and if I were you, and this is

1236
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,360
Speaker 3: kind of what I do and a lot of the

1237
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:11,080
Speaker 3: things in my life that are like this is just

1238
01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,280
Speaker 3: you can you can you can take it and if

1239
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,040
Speaker 3: it because right now it kind of sounds like everything's

1240
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 3: jumbled up into one ball, right and it's okay if

1241
01:07:18,760 --> 01:07:20,800
Speaker 3: you take it. It's okay if you take it and

1242
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 3: you rip it in two pieces and you go like, okay,

1243
01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 3: this is this is my job. This is my work.

1244
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:30,440
Speaker 3: This is what I do for money. I probably wouldn't

1245
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 3: do this if I wasn't making money doing it. As is,

1246
01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 3: like ninety nine point nine nine nine percent of all

1247
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:39,840
Speaker 3: the jobs that people have across the world, and then

1248
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:42,720
Speaker 3: you have this other and that's fine, that's totally that's

1249
01:07:42,760 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 3: not only legitimate, it's how again ninety nine point nine

1250
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:49,960
Speaker 3: nine nine nine nine percent of the planet operates. And

1251
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,960
Speaker 3: also you can still by the way, you can still

1252
01:07:55,080 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: feel that way, but have pride in what you do. Yeah,

1253
01:08:02,120 --> 01:08:04,160
Speaker 3: And so that's another thing. And then on the other

1254
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 3: side is you have this little piece of it where

1255
01:08:08,080 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 3: it's like, I just want to make I'm an artist.

1256
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 3: I am separating myself from this other part that's just

1257
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 3: making money because I'm trying to kind of preserve the

1258
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:19,640
Speaker 3: thing that got me, you to want to do this

1259
01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 3: in the first place. And I gladly do this if

1260
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:27,360
Speaker 3: it didn't pay me money, I'd gladly do this forever,

1261
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 3: just because it's because it's me and I like doing it.

1262
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 3: And you can have those two separate parts of your life.

1263
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:34,639
Speaker 3: I think when you try to combine everything into one,

1264
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:38,400
Speaker 3: you start entering a lot of like cognitive dissonance.

1265
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it gets blurry for sure.

1266
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 6: But I've like picked up other hobbies and stuff now

1267
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,840
Speaker 6: too that I can kind of get that creative like

1268
01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:51,200
Speaker 6: I don't know, creative bubble like out there like.

1269
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:53,360
Speaker 1: I've been making beats and stuff just.

1270
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 6: On the side, is like cool, a passion project sort

1271
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 6: of a thing, you know, just to like because now

1272
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:03,120
Speaker 6: the graphic design thing doesn't really fill that void for me, right,

1273
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,920
Speaker 6: So like just trying to pick up other things, Like

1274
01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:07,960
Speaker 6: I've been skating since.

1275
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,280
Speaker 1: I was ten and I'm twenty six now, so like.

1276
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 6: Skateboarding a lot more, you know, trying to get back

1277
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,680
Speaker 6: into like that sort of thing, hang out with like

1278
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 6: my homies that I was tight with back when I

1279
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 6: was fifteen, skating around, you know, so doing stuff like that.

1280
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,880
Speaker 6: But yeah, man, I don't know. That was just something

1281
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:28,760
Speaker 6: that's been been on my mind. And I felt like

1282
01:09:29,880 --> 01:09:32,680
Speaker 6: you could relate to that in a way because you

1283
01:09:32,760 --> 01:09:35,160
Speaker 6: have been doing this for for a while, you know.

1284
01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:40,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent and uh yeah, like I said,

1285
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:44,439
Speaker 3: there's yeah, you do kind of you kind of can

1286
01:09:44,479 --> 01:09:47,000
Speaker 3: beat yourself up a little bit about being like, why

1287
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:50,639
Speaker 3: does way is this turn into a job? But everything,

1288
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 3: everything becomes everything becomes a job and everything becomes work,

1289
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:56,280
Speaker 3: And I think you still be grateful, but it's like,

1290
01:09:57,080 --> 01:09:59,439
Speaker 3: for sure, it is what it is. You know, the

1291
01:09:59,439 --> 01:10:01,360
Speaker 3: way you feel it is valid.

1292
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:04,160
Speaker 6: Right, And I recognize that I'm like in the position

1293
01:10:04,240 --> 01:10:05,559
Speaker 6: I'm in, like I'm super blessed.

1294
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 1: You know, I did what I set out to do.

1295
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,360
Speaker 6: It's just like maybe not exactly what I expected it

1296
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 6: to be, which you know, that's.

1297
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:13,639
Speaker 1: Kind of everything in life.

1298
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:16,479
Speaker 3: Here's here's here's the thing about not beating yourself up

1299
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:21,840
Speaker 3: is like, don't like you're not like do this all for.

1300
01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,960
Speaker 3: I urge you to do this all form like a

1301
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 3: place of power meaning meaning like okay, you know what,

1302
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:34,200
Speaker 3: like like very logically like, okay, you know what, I'm like,

1303
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 3: I worked really hard to get to this point, and

1304
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:41,160
Speaker 3: now I'm I'm logically observed. I'm logically observing my emotions,

1305
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 3: and I'm observing that I'm not actually really fulfilled by this.

1306
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:51,719
Speaker 3: And so instead of responding to that information by feeling

1307
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:57,439
Speaker 3: like a piece of shit or quitting or spiraling into

1308
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:02,640
Speaker 3: like self whatever, the best move is to look at

1309
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:04,920
Speaker 3: this emotion logically and go, Okay, what's the solution to this?

1310
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 3: And the solution to this is, okay, let me build

1311
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 3: some new, uh aspect of my life that does film

1312
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:23,040
Speaker 3: fulfill me creatively and look at this other aspect as

1313
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:26,000
Speaker 3: just a job that makes money. Yeah, and I'm I'm

1314
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,800
Speaker 3: happy that it makes money, and I'll let it make

1315
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:31,479
Speaker 3: money until it doesn't make money, and then you know,

1316
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 3: on the other side, I'm just gonna make sure you'll

1317
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,160
Speaker 3: feel better because you'd be like, Okay, I took action

1318
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:39,280
Speaker 3: on this feeling instead of just spiraling about it, and

1319
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,360
Speaker 3: the action will now you have you know, you have

1320
01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:46,880
Speaker 3: your beats or you have your fucking side divon ard

1321
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,200
Speaker 3: account of whatever the fuck that kind of fiells you up.

1322
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 3: So that's that's kind of how I would I would

1323
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:53,360
Speaker 3: think about it, and that's how you know, that's kind

1324
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:54,560
Speaker 3: of how I've tried to think about it in my

1325
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:55,880
Speaker 3: own life.

1326
01:11:56,080 --> 01:11:57,559
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean that makes total sense.

1327
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:01,120
Speaker 1: It's just like I feel like I got a that energy.

1328
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:03,800
Speaker 6: Into whatever it is. The making beach thing has been

1329
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:07,599
Speaker 6: a really good, uh creative outlet for me, even though

1330
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 6: like I'm not doing anything with them, but like I

1331
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:12,760
Speaker 6: think it's kind of it's better that way to keep

1332
01:12:12,800 --> 01:12:15,880
Speaker 6: it kind of like this sacred thing that like I'm

1333
01:12:15,880 --> 01:12:19,679
Speaker 6: not necessarily trying to make it bigger, if that makes.

1334
01:12:19,479 --> 01:12:22,240
Speaker 3: Sense, Yeah, totally. And also by the way, the whole

1335
01:12:22,280 --> 01:12:27,280
Speaker 3: thing of like the whole thing of like trying to

1336
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 3: make it you know, I'm wrestling with this a lot.

1337
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:33,799
Speaker 3: I'm really thinking about this a lot because I'm I'm I'm,

1338
01:12:33,880 --> 01:12:36,680
Speaker 3: I'm kind of in this period where I'm like, I'm

1339
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:42,200
Speaker 3: attempting to make this like career evolution diversion that's not

1340
01:12:43,080 --> 01:12:46,400
Speaker 3: like and I'm st starting from scratch a little bit.

1341
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:51,240
Speaker 3: It almost feels and I'm like reconciling with like, you know, oh,

1342
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 3: if I try, if I get in, if I get

1343
01:12:53,360 --> 01:12:57,160
Speaker 3: too in my head about like making something a thing,

1344
01:12:58,040 --> 01:13:01,360
Speaker 3: then it just becomes another like stress point instead of

1345
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:06,599
Speaker 3: like creation point. And so at least in my own

1346
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,160
Speaker 3: kind of practice, I'm just like, Okay, let me just

1347
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:12,320
Speaker 3: do the work. Let me just like do the work

1348
01:13:12,400 --> 01:13:16,880
Speaker 3: and not worry that much about truly anything except I mean,

1349
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:19,080
Speaker 3: I'm i can't help it. I'm naturally like, oh what

1350
01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:21,360
Speaker 3: if I marketed it like this or did this, and

1351
01:13:21,439 --> 01:13:25,840
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do that shit. But most above, above, above,

1352
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:28,160
Speaker 3: any of that is just like doing the work that

1353
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 3: makes you. That is doing work that you look back

1354
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:35,840
Speaker 3: at and are happy with. You know, like I made

1355
01:13:35,880 --> 01:13:42,320
Speaker 3: the I made that fucking Tijuana video. Okay, cool, I'm

1356
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,160
Speaker 3: glad you liked it, And you know what, I'm also

1357
01:13:44,280 --> 01:13:47,880
Speaker 3: I think I actually, I think it performed better than

1358
01:13:47,880 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 3: I gave it credit for, but it maybe didn't. Like

1359
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,240
Speaker 3: you know, do I think I'm just I'm just kind

1360
01:13:53,240 --> 01:13:55,200
Speaker 3: of being impatient. But I can look at that video

1361
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:57,320
Speaker 3: and I when I watch it, I'm like, I think

1362
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 3: this is really cool and I made this the way

1363
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,720
Speaker 3: I wanted to make it, and it's the exactly. It's

1364
01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 3: like the thing I'll look back at in my life

1365
01:14:04,479 --> 01:14:08,240
Speaker 3: and be like, I'm fucking stoked about this, and I

1366
01:14:08,439 --> 01:14:11,559
Speaker 3: just want to keep doing work where I'm like, Okay,

1367
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,479
Speaker 3: as long as I can look back on it, regardless

1368
01:14:14,479 --> 01:14:16,240
Speaker 3: how many views it gets or if it ends up

1369
01:14:16,280 --> 01:14:19,000
Speaker 3: making money, as long as I can look back on

1370
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:23,800
Speaker 3: it and be like, I'm happy with how this came out.

1371
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:26,960
Speaker 3: This feels very me, and this feel this is very

1372
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:31,000
Speaker 3: like in alignment with myself. Then you know, then I'm

1373
01:14:31,080 --> 01:14:33,200
Speaker 3: then and I mean that's the only thing. That's the

1374
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:38,000
Speaker 3: only I think real way forward because if you get

1375
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:41,840
Speaker 3: if something go, if something becomes successful because you compromised

1376
01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:44,240
Speaker 3: it in some way, then you just back with a

1377
01:14:44,360 --> 01:14:44,840
Speaker 3: job again.

1378
01:14:45,160 --> 01:14:48,600
Speaker 1: So exactly exactly, I think everything satisfied.

1379
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:52,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that's all that really matters, because also like

1380
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:56,120
Speaker 6: you if you do something and you're like, you know, compromising,

1381
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,920
Speaker 6: You're gonna look back at the thing, not the money

1382
01:14:58,920 --> 01:15:01,240
Speaker 6: and be like, damn, I wish I did that differently,

1383
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 6: you know.

1384
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:05,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally totally, and and all this shit it can

1385
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:09,439
Speaker 3: only come. It can only a lot of this. Also,

1386
01:15:09,439 --> 01:15:12,280
Speaker 3: shit is like random and luck because I see so

1387
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,000
Speaker 3: many people I mean, you know, I mean you know this.

1388
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:19,439
Speaker 3: There's so many comedians, musicians, podcasters, YouTubers, TikTok whatever, people

1389
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:24,200
Speaker 3: who are really truly like really talented and for whatever,

1390
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:27,680
Speaker 3: they just don't hit for whatever reason. And it's like, yeah,

1391
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 3: the sauce involved in in like hitting or not hitting

1392
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:34,880
Speaker 3: is very elusive, and so the really the only thing

1393
01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:36,800
Speaker 3: to do. It's like it's like the only thing to

1394
01:15:37,680 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 3: do or worry about is what's within your control, which

1395
01:15:40,479 --> 01:15:42,519
Speaker 3: is like the actual work itself that you're doing.

1396
01:15:43,640 --> 01:15:46,160
Speaker 6: And I try to take myself out of the actual

1397
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:48,880
Speaker 6: thing and be like okay, like take the pressure off,

1398
01:15:48,920 --> 01:15:53,640
Speaker 6: because like the pressure it just makes you like, I

1399
01:15:53,640 --> 01:15:56,960
Speaker 6: don't know, I feel like no matter how much pressure

1400
01:15:57,120 --> 01:16:00,360
Speaker 6: or stress you put on yourself, everything's gon to like

1401
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:05,320
Speaker 6: work out in a specific way no matter what you do. Yeah,

1402
01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:08,360
Speaker 6: you know. Yeah, that's kind of like the mindset that

1403
01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:11,240
Speaker 6: I try to put myself in, like it doesn't really matter, like,

1404
01:16:11,479 --> 01:16:14,760
Speaker 6: don't stress about it, you know, just get it done,

1405
01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:16,759
Speaker 6: do the best that you can do at this moment.

1406
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then once it's out there, it's out there,

1407
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:20,880
Speaker 1: you just let it happen.

1408
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:24,200
Speaker 3: That's what's so annoying about anxiety. That's what's so fucking

1409
01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:28,000
Speaker 3: annoying about anxiety is that it's like it it truly

1410
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:34,679
Speaker 3: like I was talking about regret, and I regret times

1411
01:16:34,720 --> 01:16:37,280
Speaker 3: I was worried, and it's like that's the main reason

1412
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:39,160
Speaker 3: I regret times I was worried because it's like, wow,

1413
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 3: they didn't do I Mean, sometimes I think anxiety can

1414
01:16:43,520 --> 01:16:46,800
Speaker 3: like charge you into action, but a lot of times

1415
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:47,880
Speaker 3: it also is just like.

1416
01:16:49,840 --> 01:16:52,920
Speaker 6: It also it also takes you out of the moment,

1417
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:56,680
Speaker 6: you know, because you're so worried about like how you

1418
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:00,800
Speaker 6: are perceived or how like I don't know for in

1419
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:03,439
Speaker 6: my case, like what are they gonna think of this?

1420
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 6: Because I do a lot of freelance stuff on the side,

1421
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:08,800
Speaker 6: like in the music industry, so I'll like send some

1422
01:17:08,840 --> 01:17:11,720
Speaker 6: ship out and be like damn, they might not like

1423
01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:14,000
Speaker 6: this at all. And I might have made myself look

1424
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:17,000
Speaker 6: really bad at what I do. But you know, sometimes

1425
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 6: you just gotta like not care.

1426
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:24,360
Speaker 3: I don't know, I got you do. You just do

1427
01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:26,760
Speaker 3: the work and kind of try not to focus on

1428
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:27,360
Speaker 3: anything else.

1429
01:17:28,280 --> 01:17:30,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, so.

1430
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:33,519
Speaker 3: What did you say? What did you say? Your name

1431
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:38,720
Speaker 3: was again, William William? It was nice talking about all

1432
01:17:38,720 --> 01:17:40,760
Speaker 3: this stuff, William. I I do genuine think about this

1433
01:17:40,800 --> 01:17:43,479
Speaker 3: shit a lot. So I'm glad that. Uh, I'm glad

1434
01:17:43,479 --> 01:17:45,720
Speaker 3: we could have this, uh, this little call and I

1435
01:17:45,760 --> 01:17:48,080
Speaker 3: could uh kind of work out these thoughts and we

1436
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:48,519
Speaker 3: can talk.

1437
01:17:48,880 --> 01:17:49,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1438
01:17:49,680 --> 01:17:51,760
Speaker 6: No, for sure, I'm glad I got through. I've been

1439
01:17:52,120 --> 01:17:55,120
Speaker 6: I've been trying for so long, so I'm stoked.

1440
01:17:56,240 --> 01:17:57,479
Speaker 3: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1441
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:00,000
Speaker 3: people of the computer before we go? You can plug

1442
01:18:00,040 --> 01:18:01,320
Speaker 3: yourself too if you want.

1443
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:05,240
Speaker 6: Could I okay, I'll plug my my graphic design page

1444
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:06,040
Speaker 6: on Instagram.

1445
01:18:06,479 --> 01:18:11,960
Speaker 1: It's just w S D s g N.

1446
01:18:12,200 --> 01:18:15,559
Speaker 6: It's pretty much just like my first and last initial

1447
01:18:15,720 --> 01:18:16,839
Speaker 6: design D SGN.

1448
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,639
Speaker 3: So I have a lot of means.

1449
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:23,040
Speaker 6: I mean in my head, I don't know if that's

1450
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:26,679
Speaker 6: technically what it means. I'm just like I wanted something short,

1451
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:27,639
Speaker 6: you know, so by.

1452
01:18:27,640 --> 01:18:29,920
Speaker 3: Like I'm sorry, can I point out something hilarious? And

1453
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:32,800
Speaker 3: I'm I'm not saying this to be a dick, but

1454
01:18:33,280 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 3: it's very funny to me that in the like the

1455
01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:43,519
Speaker 3: your Instagram bio is I just be making stuff?

1456
01:18:44,920 --> 01:18:51,439
Speaker 7: Yeah and yeah, yet and yet the the the the

1457
01:18:51,479 --> 01:18:56,280
Speaker 7: crux of our call is.

1458
01:18:54,920 --> 01:18:58,000
Speaker 3: Is attempt is the both of us talking about attempting

1459
01:18:58,720 --> 01:19:02,880
Speaker 3: to actually in bodie what that bio is saying of

1460
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:05,519
Speaker 3: just I just be making stuff? Like I like, I like,

1461
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:07,960
Speaker 3: we're both trying to like live that, but you know,

1462
01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:12,479
Speaker 3: the anxiety prevents you from just be making this stuff.

1463
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:15,080
Speaker 1: It's more of like I see that and I'm like,

1464
01:19:15,080 --> 01:19:16,679
Speaker 1: all right, just make stuff.

1465
01:19:18,040 --> 01:19:20,240
Speaker 3: Good good, No, it's a good it's a good, but

1466
01:19:20,439 --> 01:19:21,120
Speaker 3: it's a good bio.

1467
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:23,759
Speaker 5: Thanks man, I'm gonna I'm.

1468
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:25,120
Speaker 3: Gonna try to live by that. I'm gonna try to

1469
01:19:25,120 --> 01:19:28,120
Speaker 3: live by that too. I'm gonna let's both let's both

1470
01:19:28,360 --> 01:19:29,479
Speaker 3: just be making stuff.

1471
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:35,000
Speaker 6: Let's both be making stuff. Hell yeah, beautiful, Are you

1472
01:19:35,040 --> 01:19:38,080
Speaker 6: coming to Florida anytime soon? On your give a tour

1473
01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:38,559
Speaker 6: coming up?

1474
01:19:38,880 --> 01:19:39,040
Speaker 1: Oh?

1475
01:19:39,080 --> 01:19:41,519
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know. I don't know when

1476
01:19:41,560 --> 01:19:44,000
Speaker 3: I'm in the tour next. I'm like I'm fired up

1477
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:49,200
Speaker 3: about going to random weird places. Uh first, and I

1478
01:19:49,280 --> 01:19:51,600
Speaker 3: might if people want, If people still want to see me,

1479
01:19:51,680 --> 01:19:55,040
Speaker 3: I'll cook something up. But we'll see, we'll see what happens.

1480
01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:56,800
Speaker 1: I feel like people always want to see you, bro.

1481
01:19:57,439 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't, I don't know. I don't know, man,

1482
01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:02,640
Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, well, every every year, I'm like,

1483
01:20:02,680 --> 01:20:04,599
Speaker 3: I don't know if I don't know, if people still

1484
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:07,680
Speaker 3: want to see me do this, But if they do,

1485
01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:12,840
Speaker 3: I'm down. I'll come. Hell yeah, Well take care, William,

1486
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:16,559
Speaker 3: good luck, take care. Thank you so much, by bye, sir.

1487
01:20:18,320 --> 01:20:23,680
Speaker 3: I liked William. Who's a good guy. I do. I

1488
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:27,879
Speaker 3: do empathize with him on a lot of those those points.

1489
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:31,760
Speaker 3: He's got to do stuff. Well, folks, that was it.

1490
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:36,640
Speaker 3: That was the podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. I

1491
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:40,400
Speaker 3: don't have anything else to say, but I think this

1492
01:20:40,520 --> 01:20:46,200
Speaker 3: was a good episode. I enjoyed recording it. Let me

1493
01:20:46,240 --> 01:20:49,439
Speaker 3: know in the comments if you liked it. Let me

1494
01:20:49,479 --> 01:20:52,160
Speaker 3: know in the comments if how you're doing, how you're doing,

1495
01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:58,240
Speaker 3: if you want, I read the Spotify comments. I shouldn't

1496
01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:01,600
Speaker 3: read the Spotify comments. I shouldn't read any comments, but

1497
01:21:01,680 --> 01:21:05,160
Speaker 3: I do uh. And I shouldn't tell people I read

1498
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:10,040
Speaker 3: them because then they'll say things. They'll they'll be they'll

1499
01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:14,800
Speaker 3: say stuff in them, But I do I read them anyway. Okay,

1500
01:21:14,840 --> 01:21:17,599
Speaker 3: thank you for listening to the podcast. Get bless see

1501
01:21:17,600 --> 01:21:21,639
Speaker 3: you guys around the Universe. Goes on the line taking

1502
01:21:21,720 --> 01:21:25,479
Speaker 3: your phone calls every night. Deacon goes to his hide

1503
01:21:25,760 --> 01:21:26,520
Speaker 3: just teaching.

1504
01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:27,719
Speaker 5: You cloud in your life.

1505
01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:30,280
Speaker 3: That's not really an expert.