1 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to this episode of Keep It Positive, Sweetie. 2 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,319 Speaker 2: Today we are talking about Now this is a s 3 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 2: It's just subject to some people body counts. That's right. 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,639 Speaker 1: And when I think about body count I think of 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: the song as by Dinner Howard, and it goes, I 6 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: want a freak in the morning, a freaking the eve. 7 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 2: Remember that just like me, I need a rough nut 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 2: brother that can satisfy me, just for me. If you 9 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 2: are that kind of man, then I'm that kind of girl. 10 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 2: I got a. 11 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,959 Speaker 3: Freaking secret, everybody's saying because we don't have a dab 12 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 3: about a. 13 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 2: Thing so good. 14 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: And today I have with me one of my favorite people, 15 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: somebody that I get the pleasure to work with. 16 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 2: I have always admired. 17 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: Your work, ethic, your skills, and I'm just so happy 18 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: to see where your career is taking you. The incredible 19 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: Jazz and Brown aka watch Jazzy, which is millions of 20 00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: you know her as Toya turn Up and who I 21 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: recently have known her as Dejah my arch nemesis. 22 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 2: Oh my god, my cheeks hurt. 23 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: Smiling, That's how I feel when I'm working with you, 24 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: because I'm. 25 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 2: Like, she keeps me laughing. No, we really know. 26 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: Literally, I can't get through a scene and Taller gets 27 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: so bad. 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 3: He's like Crystal focused because you know, were only doing 29 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 3: it in one day, one taken with me and you, 30 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 3: it's not fine. 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, I. 32 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,559 Speaker 1: Can't even get you out of Like before I start 33 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 1: walking up to you, I'm like, do not laugh because 34 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: you are so funny. 35 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. Thank you. I'm so proud you. 36 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: You're my idol. You always. I know. 37 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 3: I posted a real and there was like a clip 38 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 3: of me talking to someone and I'm like, she's my idol. 39 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 2: You can read my lips. I'm like, she's my idol. Yeah, 40 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 2: you really are. 41 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 3: I'll be looking like how is Crystal gonna stunt on 42 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,639 Speaker 3: my life today? 43 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,559 Speaker 2: And I'm just eating it up. I'm like, yes, because 44 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 2: you just you're doing it yourself. Yeah. Well, I mean 45 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 2: I have a lot of amazing people behind me. I do. Oh, 46 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 2: I'm sure. 47 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 3: However, when I say you're doing it by yourself, you're 48 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 3: not attached to like a person. 49 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 2: Oh I got you, guys. You know what I mean. 50 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 3: Like some people like they get their claim to fame 51 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 3: by this person or whatever, but it's like. 52 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 2: It's just you. God, yes, God, God, yeah. Yes. 53 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,680 Speaker 1: So today we are talking about bodyccount, which is a 54 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: very controversial topic that comes. 55 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 2: Up and dating. When have you ever had a guy 56 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 2: asked you like, so, how many people have you had 57 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 2: sex with? 58 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 3: Yes? 59 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: I get it all the time. And I feel like 60 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: after a certain age is like. 61 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 3: Because you still gonna hit it, like you act like 62 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 3: it's gonna change your mind. I feel like for men, 63 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: the ones that ask, they asked to see what category 64 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 3: they're gonna put you in. So if you only slept 65 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 3: with under five, which I don't know nobody, I don't 66 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:05,079 Speaker 3: know none. 67 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 2: Of y'all who got under five by me neither, you 68 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 2: know what I mean, then they're like, oh yeah, she 69 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 2: whitey material. 70 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 71 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 2: And then if you tell them twenty six, they're gonna 72 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 2: be like, oh no, I gotta write that off. Or 73 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 2: you know, I'm just gonna hit it, or they might 74 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: think you're easy yeah or whatever. 75 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 3: But it's like, grow up, please grow up, because every 76 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,799 Speaker 3: new year is even the miles reset. 77 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 2: That's how I feel. Whether deted my whole delist babys 78 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: with one man, that's listen, reset, listen. Okay, the resolutions 79 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 2: are not the only thing resetting on January one. Don't 80 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 2: believe me. I love it. 81 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:50,280 Speaker 1: Do you feel like sometimes men are when they ask 82 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: the body counts that are insecurity, are they picky? Because 83 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: I know some men even there are some men that 84 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: have been insecure about the men I've dated, you know, 85 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: and I'm I'm I like to be honest about it 86 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: because some of those relationships are with public figures and 87 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: I don't want it to come up and he like, well, 88 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: you never told me about this. But I've had relationships 89 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: that didn't work because they couldn't stand like watching TV 90 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: and seeing my ex on TV. 91 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: That's their problem. 92 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 3: I mean, like, I think a lot of men are insecure, 93 00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:19,720 Speaker 3: and who I dealt with before you is before you. 94 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 3: And if I'm telling you, hey, listen, this is the 95 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 3: person that this is how I used to deal with them. 96 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,479 Speaker 2: Just so you know, if I. 97 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 3: Ever see this personnel, you have the heads up, You 98 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 3: have the one up instead of being like oh yeah, 99 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 3: by the way, in the moment, then that's that's messed up. 100 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 2: Yes, embarrassed, I'm not this is the thing. I'm not 101 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,159 Speaker 2: with them anymore for you. 102 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 3: They like we but you know, in some situations, it 103 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 3: could be a baby daddy though where it's like they're 104 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:44,919 Speaker 3: gonna be around. 105 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 2: That's different. But you and I don't have any kids, 106 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:47,919 Speaker 2: so we. 107 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 3: But a lot of gu I mean especially I can imagine, 108 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 3: like the type of men that you tracked is enough 109 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 3: to make anybody. Yeah, better have your bootstrapped on tight 110 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 3: and you better have you better be a confident person 111 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 3: because you are a cast. 112 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,239 Speaker 1: And you know what I'm saying, No, it's real though, 113 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: because I've definitely had men like that. 114 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 2: They either insecuted out that they asked me and I you. 115 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,039 Speaker 1: Know, I'm saying, you know how like someone but like uh, 116 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 1: three it was like a number and like if she 117 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: say she only had sex and four people, you know 118 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 1: she's lying. There was like a meme that I saw 119 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: that said there but like you said, they still gonna 120 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 1: hit it, like they're still probably fall in love. 121 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 2: You know. I saw. I saw who was it who 122 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 2: wrote a book? 123 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,359 Speaker 3: I don't want to I don't want to give them press, 124 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 3: but I remember someone wrote up somebody wrote a book 125 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 3: and they were talking about the eleven guys that. 126 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 2: They had sec that had sex with. 127 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 3: And I was talking to my best friend and she 128 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 3: was like, I ain't even taking advice from a chick 129 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 3: that only had sex with eleven. 130 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 2: She said eleven. She said, grow up, grow up. She said, 131 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 2: I'm not even saying. I'm not reading that book. No, 132 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,359 Speaker 2: that's nothing in there for me. She's like, call me. 133 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 3: I was crying, but I was just like, girl, you 134 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 3: body count is just like. 135 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 2: What are we doing? Yeah? 136 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: And I feel like for women, we don't care, like 137 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: we want somebody that's been experienced, because you would hope that, 138 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: like a man would want that too, so he could 139 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: be like, okay, please, you know what I'm. 140 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,919 Speaker 2: Saying, you learned some things. I think it's the opposite. 141 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: Like if they see if a. 142 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 3: Girl has a low number, that's like, oh yeah, then 143 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,040 Speaker 3: I can teach her some things. 144 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:17,720 Speaker 2: I can do this and that. 145 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 3: But if I run into a dude with a low number, 146 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 3: oh man, it's been the block. Spend the block and 147 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 3: come back when you learn something. 148 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm not No, I'm not a good teacher. 149 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not hard to do it like this because 150 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: I've had somebody like we're gonna get personal, like go 151 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: down and like it felt like they were biting me. 152 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 2: Oh girl, had somebody gnawed me down? They ate it 153 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: with no time. I said, you know what get up 154 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 2: Like it's hard to tell somebody, No, dude, this is 155 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 2: how you need to do it. 156 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I need you to go and know some other 157 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: people figure it out. 158 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:57,720 Speaker 2: Seriously, so I do. 159 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: I feel like there is like a pride thing that 160 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: ego from men where they feel like you are more 161 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: of a prize when you haven't had sex with as 162 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: many men. 163 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: And for me, I feel like that doesn't define the prize. 164 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 2: It does. It does not define it. 165 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: Like there's so many more components that come into making 166 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: me the woman that I am. That's a gift to 167 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: you and a blessing to you. Then you know what 168 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: I'm saying, what I've done in my bed, you know. 169 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 3: Yes, that doesn't matter because at the end of the day, 170 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 3: when you're with someone and you have a life partner, yeah, 171 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. Y'all might be having sex 172 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 3: for a long time, but at some point it's gonna 173 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 3: it's gonna stop. 174 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 2: It's gonna stop. 175 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 3: It's gonna be you guys, Yes, what do you have 176 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 3: after that? There's been people that I have slept with 177 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 3: that I do not enjoy their company, you know what 178 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 3: I'm saying. So it's like you around here thinking that 179 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 3: I'm not a catch. I don't want you anyway period, 180 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. 181 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 2: So it's like the person that I'm with now, like 182 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 2: we have all the things. 183 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: You do, like I love thank you, like I love it. 184 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: You be up at six in the morning, baker making 185 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: around it and it's somewhere around there. Yes, I love 186 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: the balance that you have. You still getting it, you 187 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: go get her, you still have your career, but you 188 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: are up like making breakfast, making everything juicing. 189 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 3: But the thing is, it's like the other people, they 190 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 3: didn't get that side of me. So even though you 191 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 3: might not be my first, you're my first in this 192 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 3: space where like I never was like this, And it's 193 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 3: not that I wasn't like that because I feel like 194 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 3: I feel like all. 195 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 2: Women have that side to them. 196 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 3: It's just a man has to bring it out of them, 197 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 3: like the right guy has to bring it out of them, 198 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 3: and if they want to be like. 199 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 2: That or whatever. But I was never like that with 200 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 2: none of the other ones. 201 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 1: Yep, it's always that one that'll bring like the wife 202 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:42,199 Speaker 1: out of you. 203 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I wanted to be but either they didn't 204 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 3: really accept it. It wasn't it just it just didn't work, 205 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 3: because that's the real thing it is. I dated a 206 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 3: guy who had mommy issues, and I'm very nurturing, so 207 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 3: I'm like you are. 208 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, let me pack your bag, let me 209 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: do this, and he's like, don't touch my stuff. I 210 00:08:58,480 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: can do it myself. 211 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 3: And I'm just like, okay, strong independent black man who 212 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 3: don't need know no woman. 213 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,200 Speaker 2: Oh like my bad. But I realized, like I felt like, 214 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:12,040 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like yeah, because he didn't need that 215 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 2: for me, and I'm like, well, dang, I've had that too, 216 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 2: you know. And then but I think that full circle moment. 217 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 3: The reason why we date is because I really encouraged 218 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 3: him to mend that relationship with his mom. I was like, 219 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 3: you got to talk to your mom, and you have 220 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 3: to tell her how you feel. 221 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 2: You have to you have to express. 222 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 3: To her that like you're not okay, and now you're 223 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 3: because you're going to continue to take it out on 224 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,559 Speaker 3: the women that come into your life and try to 225 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,319 Speaker 3: be like not your mom, but like as a partner 226 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 3: of you know, when you're dating someone you're kind of 227 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 3: you might have a little motherly similarity where you're like, 228 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 3: I'm going to hold you accountable. I'm going to make 229 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 3: sure you eat or just whatever those things are. Can 230 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 3: see motherly to some people, but if you've never had that. 231 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 2: It's foreign to you. You think that I'm just being extra, 232 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: you know. 233 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it just didn't It just didn't work. But 234 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 3: he were kindled his relationship with this mom, and I'm 235 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 3: happy that I was the reason for that, and then 236 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 3: like that's it. Yeah, but I didn't get to be 237 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 3: how I am in my relationship now with him. 238 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 2: I was trying, Yeah, like that works like that. 239 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: It's funny because I was sating a guy and it 240 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: was similar, and it seems like any guy because I'm 241 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: anybody who knows me knows that when I have a man, 242 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 1: I'm a wife. 243 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 2: Like I'm showing you what you're gonna get. Girl, you're 244 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 2: a wife to your friend, Oh like hello, thank you. 245 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 1: But I try to show them like this is what 246 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: you're going to get, you know, And a lot of 247 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: them couldn't handle. 248 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 2: They weren't in the space to recognize it. And when 249 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 2: we break up, years of past by and they're like, 250 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 2: she's the one that got away, I'm so tired of that, 251 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I know, like I'm so like grow 252 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 2: up like you was, just say I wasn't. I wasn't 253 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 2: man enough. I wasn't ready. Would you spend the block? No? 254 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: I never spend both of those guys, no, because I'm like, 255 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 1: you had me and you didn't appreciate it. 256 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 2: You show me who you are. I'm good. Yeah, no, 257 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: really so you never had like your him my him? 258 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 3: Well when I say like, oh that's him, like the 259 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 3: first person that comes. 260 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: To mind, yeah, somebody did come to mind. And it 261 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,079 Speaker 1: was like a five year off and on thing. 262 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,000 Speaker 2: So I did. 263 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: So I did, Like he would show me that he 264 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,839 Speaker 1: wasn't ready, but he would come back in and out 265 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: of my life for five years, and it was just 266 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: like a maybe he's ready this time, you know, maybe 267 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: he's ready to receive what I have to give him 268 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 1: and what I know I can offer. 269 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's nothing now. 270 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 3: Like oh where are you at? 271 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 2: You're stupid? 272 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 3: I's wrong with you and you know it's messed up. 273 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 2: It's like guys like that will ruin it for the 274 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 2: other ones too. 275 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, I try not to do that, 276 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: though I've tried, because I'm such a giver. I try 277 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:46,360 Speaker 1: not to allow the men who don't appreciate it ruin 278 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: my heart or make me not want to get the 279 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: next one because I know I'm going to run to somebody. 280 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: It's like, oh, I gotta lock this down. I cannot 281 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:53,440 Speaker 1: let this girl go. 282 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 2: I gotta lock this down. Do you understand what. 283 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 3: Qualities are you looking forward to for somebody? For me, 284 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,120 Speaker 3: would even be eligible to lock it down? 285 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 2: You know? 286 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: I always say, like someone that's God fearing, someone who 287 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: puts God first, always wants somebody that knows that when 288 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: they see me, they got to go to God to 289 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,079 Speaker 1: get to me. 290 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 2: What does that look like? It looks like a pray man. Yeah, 291 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 2: man was in church. 292 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 1: And their intention you see it in their actions, Like 293 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,959 Speaker 1: you can tell like this guy's moving with intention when 294 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: it comes to me. You know what I'm saying, And 295 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: how he plans which when, and how he leads his integrity, 296 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: how he treats people who can do nothing for him 297 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: in so many different things, how he treats his mother. 298 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah, those are things that just get 299 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 2: my ten Like I love all those things, those things 300 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: that turn me on. 301 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,600 Speaker 1: And also intellect, and I'm really big on intellect. You 302 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: can to get here, you got to get me here. 303 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 1: I always say that, yeah, you're not getting in the 304 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: pantings if you can't get in your head, yeah, and 305 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: then you can give my head. That's like, but you 306 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: have to, like I have to be mentally simulated. 307 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 2: And you know, it's funny. 308 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,719 Speaker 3: Because like I think, I don't want to say, a 309 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 3: lot of women, but this gen Z group of women 310 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 3: that we have now, it's very much like I'm gonna 311 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:11,080 Speaker 3: sleep with who I want. I'm gonna do whatever I want. 312 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 3: But it's like you're not really being mentally stimulated. It's 313 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,840 Speaker 3: more like, oh, I like this guy, I'm gonna screw 314 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 3: him or do whatever whatever it is. But it's like, 315 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 3: and I feel like I don't want to say I 316 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 3: was that girl, but I used to be sexually free, 317 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 3: like definitely lit whole face. 318 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't we talk about it, because me too. I 319 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 2: had a whole face. Yeah, but listen, I had an 320 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,839 Speaker 2: amazing hole face. 321 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 3: But I remember when I was mentally stimulated by someone 322 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 3: that I never slept with, yep, and I was just 323 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 3: like and I wrote it, Yeah, I wrote a poem 324 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 3: about it. 325 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,319 Speaker 2: Really, I didn't know how to express myself. 326 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 3: I was like we would talk for hours, super intellectual, right, 327 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 3: and we would spend all this time together. We were 328 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 3: just sitting in the car and we would just talk. 329 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 3: But like I was mentally stimulating and I was like, wait, 330 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 3: is he having sex with my. 331 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 2: Mind right now? 332 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 3: Like we never we never had sex, and you know 333 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,720 Speaker 3: what I mean. So it's it's it's crazy how like 334 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 3: some people but don't even experience that. 335 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, they don't. 336 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: And when you can get both, it's, oh yeah, like 337 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: I'm liking you down. 338 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 2: Oh hello, listen. 339 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: I remember I was in college, and I think definitely 340 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 1: I wasn't like fully mentally developed, even sexually developed, you know, 341 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: like I was. I was raised in a strict home. 342 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 2: Do not have sex? 343 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, go to church, you know, like and my mom 344 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: always used to say to me, getting pregnant isn't the 345 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: worst thing that can happen, because I was saying like 346 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: AIDS and different and STDs, and I was like, okay, 347 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: So I always had it in the back of my mind. 348 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 2: But like they instilled the fear of goding me. 349 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 1: So I was always scared. And I got to college. 350 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: I was at shelter little girl and she was free baby. 351 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: I was running rampant on that campus and I had 352 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 1: a little boyfriend and he was at another school in Nashville, 353 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,880 Speaker 1: which was like three hours away, and I ended up 354 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: talking to. 355 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 2: The star basketball team and the star of the basketball 356 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 2: team and he got all the girls wanted him, but 357 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 2: I had them. 358 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: And then I and that that he was screwing every 359 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: girl on campus and it broke my heart. And it 360 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: was something in that moment where I was like, if 361 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,240 Speaker 1: you can do. 362 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 2: That, then I'm gonna do it. 363 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: And I just like and that was my I feel 364 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 1: like sexually liberated phase in my life where I was like, no, 365 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: so I'm gonna go talk to your friend so you 366 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: can see how it feels. And not knowing that every 367 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: time I did that, I wasn't privy to the soul 368 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: ties the damage that I was doing, and it was 369 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: something I had to grow. 370 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 2: I learned. 371 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,920 Speaker 1: It didn't last long because I was causing it was 372 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: causing confusion within my own. 373 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,080 Speaker 2: Spirit, and I was like, what are you doing? Like, 374 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 2: first of all, he's not worth it. 375 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: These other men ain't worth it, like nobody's And it 376 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: would be the ones that like I could just sit 377 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: down and at the foot of their bed and like 378 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,040 Speaker 1: they would really give me good advice that I tended 379 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: to just draw nearer to that put in. It reminded 380 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: me that the crystal like you're worth more than It's like, 381 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: you don't have to do that, you know. 382 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 2: You know what's interesting. 383 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 3: I was having a conversation with somebody and they were 384 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 3: talking about how women are naturally monogamous. 385 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 2: And that when women step out in their. 386 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 3: Relationship, it's not revenge, but they retaliate. 387 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: It was a retaliation, you know what I'm saying. 388 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 3: So it's like, like you said, I want you to feel 389 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 3: what I'm feeling. But men are wired completely different when 390 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 3: they can love you to death, sleep with this one 391 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,000 Speaker 3: over here, and come back to you and not even 392 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,160 Speaker 3: think about her tomorrow. Literally, And it's like it took 393 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 3: a long time for me to realize that because even 394 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: like having conversations with my dad now that I'm older, 395 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 3: he's like, that's how men are wired. And it's interesting 396 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: that that was your sexual liberation, which it harmed you 397 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 3: in a way because it was like you weren't really 398 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 3: that girl, no, you know what I'm saying. So for me, 399 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 3: like the way I started my whole phase was like 400 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 3: I was sexually abused. Oh my god, yeah, not by 401 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 3: any family or relatives or anybody. But like I was, 402 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 3: I had older boyfriends and I was really young, and 403 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 3: I was always that. 404 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 2: Girl who older guys liked. 405 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 3: And I used to think like, oh, it's because you know, 406 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 3: I'm grown and this is and that's like, no, you're 407 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 3: young and you're easing to manipulate and you know what 408 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,400 Speaker 3: I mean. And I had daddy issues growing up were 409 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 3: like my dad and I have a great relationship with 410 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 3: my dad now, but my dad wasn't raised in love. 411 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 2: He was raised from survival. 412 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 3: So like when he had daughters, he was just trying 413 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,480 Speaker 3: to survive and make a way for them. It was 414 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,160 Speaker 3: never like he never was like, oh, Jazz, you're doing 415 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 3: so great. 416 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:16,679 Speaker 2: I love you. I'm so proud of you. 417 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 3: Nowadays he's like my number one fan, yep. But I 418 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 3: had to tell him like this is how I received love. 419 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 3: But back then it was just like you have a roof. 420 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 2: Over your head, How do you not think I don't 421 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:27,640 Speaker 2: love you? 422 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 3: Or like you have I got you a car at sixteen, 423 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,360 Speaker 3: Like how do you not? How do you don't how 424 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,719 Speaker 3: come you don't feel love? But for me, I'm like 425 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 3: words of affirmation, physical touch, quality. 426 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 2: Time, all the things and my mom was all those things. 427 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 3: So like I was closer to my mother because she 428 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 3: spoke my love language. 429 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 2: And it took time. 430 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 3: So it was like, Okay, I never had anyone to 431 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 3: tell me I was beautiful. 432 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 2: L' buy me flowers. 433 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 3: So the first person that did it, I'm like, oh, 434 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 3: I'll give you everything, you know what I mean. So 435 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 3: I found myself like down this really. 436 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 2: Dark of like just wanting to feel validated. 437 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 3: So it was just this guy, this guy, this guy, 438 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:07,880 Speaker 3: this guy. 439 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,959 Speaker 2: This guy. You know, this goes on. And then they 440 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: were all older than me, you know what I mean. 441 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,040 Speaker 3: And I was even in a situation where I dated 442 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 3: a guy and in that essence, like when I thought 443 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 3: about it, I. 444 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 2: Was like, Yo, this nigga was like my pim. Wow. Yeah, 445 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 2: I was just like I loved him. Well, I didn't 446 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 2: love him, girl, I thought I thought I loved you. 447 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,400 Speaker 3: I was brainwashed because he was doing all the things, 448 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 3: you know, And then I realized that he was like 449 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 3: he wasn't. 450 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 2: Very kind to me. He didn't have me in. 451 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 3: The best situations. He wasn't considerate of my feelings. And 452 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 3: this was like early on, I probably he was probably 453 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 3: like the third person I had sex with because I 454 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 3: remember like I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and 455 00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 3: then and then like I had a random encounter and 456 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 3: then he was like the third guy that I met, 457 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 3: and then it was like from there it was like 458 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 3: I don't want to say I learned everything from him, 459 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,439 Speaker 3: but it was like it was abuse though, you know. 460 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 2: And then prior to him. 461 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 3: Like I or no, after him, I still dated older guys. 462 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 2: So it was like it just it didn't stop. It 463 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 2: was a vicious cycle. And then so now to be 464 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 2: in a situation where like, oh. 465 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 3: My gosh, don't do it. 466 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 2: Yes, let it go, it's fine. 467 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,399 Speaker 1: But now and oh whoa, it's the clinics in my 468 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: bedroom bedroom. 469 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 2: Now. Just now to be in a situation and a relationship. 470 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 3: Now where I am loved, you know, and I feel that, 471 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 3: and I know what it's like for for somebody to 472 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 3: really love you and care for you and to show 473 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 3: you that they care and to be honest with you, 474 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, and tell me like, babe, 475 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 3: like that wasn't love, and I'm like, yes it was. 476 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 2: They were like this. He's like, no, that's not it. 477 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 3: And we would bump heads a lot because he would 478 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 3: keep it real with me being like and be like, 479 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 3: I know that you love this person, but that was 480 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 3: not love. 481 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 2: I'm telling you that's not love, you know what I mean. 482 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 2: Hopefully I don't need them. We'll just keep that just 483 00:19:59,640 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 2: in case. 484 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,679 Speaker 3: But yeah, so I just found myself just going on 485 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 3: and on and that's why it's like body count. 486 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, man, it is life. Yes. 487 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 3: And then on top of that, it's like, are we 488 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 3: naming every person that's entered us? 489 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,840 Speaker 2: Are we? Or are we naming everyone that we were 490 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 2: connected to? Wow? 491 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because like, yeah, I got bodies, 492 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 3: but like they didn't care about me. 493 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 2: I didn't care about them. There was no connection there, 494 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 2: you know. 495 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 3: So it's like the ones that count, those are the 496 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 3: ones that count. 497 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,440 Speaker 2: Counts, Yes, you know what I mean. 498 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: When was the like because I love that story and 499 00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,359 Speaker 1: we all every woman has their own walk, and I 500 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 1: feel like they all have a phase like that at. 501 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 2: Some point in their life. What was the point where 502 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 2: you felt like this is real love? Is it the 503 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,360 Speaker 2: situation you and now? 504 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 1: Was there another point where you're like, this is the 505 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: first time I felt this is love. 506 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,199 Speaker 2: Somebody really cares about me, and that. 507 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 3: You were exposed to that well, I think I've always 508 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,119 Speaker 3: been a lover. So even with all the abuse and 509 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 3: all the things, like, I still wanted love. I was like, 510 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,600 Speaker 3: you know the movie Pursuit of Happiness, It was like 511 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 3: persu love, Like I was just looking for that thing. 512 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 3: So I fell in love with a guy probably like 513 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 3: seventeen eighteen years old, awful. I was my first love, 514 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 3: broke my heart. I was still on the brown, like, 515 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 3: still looking. 516 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,399 Speaker 2: I would give myself time and then I would go 517 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,919 Speaker 2: back out there again. You know. 518 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,719 Speaker 3: So I've been in relationships where I've loved people and 519 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 3: they didn't always love me back the way I love. 520 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,359 Speaker 2: I feel like I always love the person more me too. 521 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, you know when I say that to 522 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 3: my guy now, I'm like. 523 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,160 Speaker 2: I just love you more. He was like, you can't. 524 00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:32,399 Speaker 2: You don't know that. You can't say that, you know. 525 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 3: But I feel like the way the way my efforts 526 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,120 Speaker 3: are set up and the way I am, it feels 527 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,880 Speaker 3: like I do I love you more. 528 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 2: But it's like that. 529 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 3: Doesn't mean that I actually do, you know what I mean? 530 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 3: And men are so like it's very rare if you 531 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 3: get someone who is like who can wholeheartedly just be 532 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 3: vulnerable and yes, tell you like I love you. Know, 533 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,159 Speaker 3: when I see you in the morning, I get you know, 534 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 3: I feel tingly. 535 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 2: Like they're not fay it, you know what I'm saying. 536 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 2: They feel it, but they just say it. 537 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's like they're not hired that way, you know. 538 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,239 Speaker 3: So it's like what I learned from my dad is 539 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:09,400 Speaker 3: love languages and showing love come in other ways than 540 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 3: the way I want. 541 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:11,120 Speaker 2: Yes. 542 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 3: So it's like the way I receive is obviously physical time, 543 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 3: words of affirmation, touch and all that stuff. But some 544 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,639 Speaker 3: people their love is like I got you your favorite 545 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 3: snack at the gas station on my way back, gifts 546 00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,240 Speaker 3: or yeah, or. 547 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 2: Just yeah, acts of service, gifts or whatever, just like 548 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 2: being thoughtful, like you. 549 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 3: Know, baking me cookies or just things that I like 550 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 3: or whatever that is. 551 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 2: It's like it's not always like Crystal, I love you 552 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 2: so much, You're so amazing. It's not always like that. 553 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 3: It's just like I might have stocked up your fridge, 554 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 3: or just I see a need and I need it, 555 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 3: or like the things that you don't. 556 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,399 Speaker 2: Even have to ask me for, you know. 557 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 3: So just having an open mind of like there's other 558 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,200 Speaker 3: ways to receive love but some people are so stubborn 559 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 3: and it's like, wave, it ain't how I want to. 560 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,439 Speaker 2: I don't hate, I don't need I doubt it, you 561 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,560 Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like I see that a lot. 562 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,399 Speaker 1: Okay, So I touched on how I felt about sex 563 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,520 Speaker 1: and how I was raised with very strict parents, the 564 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: fear of God in me. Like I couldn't date until 565 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 1: I was sixteen. I didn't lose my virginity until I 566 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,360 Speaker 1: was in college. 567 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 2: Wow. Yeah, oh yeah, I was scared. I was scared, 568 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,440 Speaker 2: but that's when I just went wild. 569 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 3: Like I was like, I got a dress on the days, right. 570 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 2: Was me? 571 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: What was it like with your childhood that? And how 572 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,240 Speaker 1: did you look at sex before you started having sex? 573 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:39,720 Speaker 2: You know? 574 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,080 Speaker 3: I also grew up in church, you know, and it 575 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,120 Speaker 3: was all like abstinence was everywhere. 576 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,240 Speaker 2: Yep, everywhere. 577 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:47,359 Speaker 3: But it's like when they tell you not to do something, 578 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 3: you're kind of curious about it. And then my sister 579 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 3: she was like I was always cute, you know, but 580 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 3: all the. 581 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 2: Men wanted my sister, you know what I mean. 582 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 3: So my sister was like, you are that girl she was. 583 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 3: She was dating our neighbor from across the street. I 584 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 3: had a crush on. 585 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,760 Speaker 2: Then she started another guy I had a crush. It's 586 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: like it's like all the guys I. 587 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:13,400 Speaker 3: Like she got and I'm just like yeah. But then 588 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 3: like I noticed she was different after she started having sex. 589 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 2: She noticed what was the little sister looking her? 590 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like she just was more like to me, I 591 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 3: was like, whoa, Like she's grown up. And I think 592 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 3: that I wanted to be grown because I wanted people 593 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 3: to stop saying that I was cute. I wanted people 594 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 3: to say, like, you're sexy. And I don't know why 595 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,959 Speaker 3: I wanted to be sexy at like ten, but I 596 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 3: wanted to be sexy. Like my oldest sister was very sexy, 597 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 3: and she would bring her boyfriends. 598 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 2: By the house. I liked everybody's boyfriend, my sisters. I'd 599 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 2: be like, no, I love him. Stop. 600 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 3: I used to be in love with all my sisters sisters, 601 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,399 Speaker 3: and like, nobody ever looked at me like that, and 602 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,720 Speaker 3: I just was like, you know, I started wearing like 603 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 3: all the little you know, the little I'm from Florida, 604 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 3: so we had so our the way us ratchet girls 605 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:05,199 Speaker 3: were dressed. 606 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,399 Speaker 2: It was like it was like ratchet mixed with chonga. 607 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 3: Like we were like we were like the little spandex 608 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 3: little bottom pants, a dark lip liner, the wet curly hair, 609 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:18,400 Speaker 3: and then but. 610 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,760 Speaker 2: I might have a six piece grill to the on 611 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 2: the bottom like yeah, like it was just. 612 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,679 Speaker 3: You know, but I always wore like a little something 613 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:29,679 Speaker 3: tight or whatever, just because I wanted people to like 614 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 3: look at I didn't want to be cute when it 615 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 3: was sexy, you know. And I was like Dan my sister, 616 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 3: like she was just starting to look sexy to me 617 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 3: like that, you like, yeah, But it wasn't like I 618 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 3: was pressed to lose my virginity. I was fine with 619 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 3: getting finger popped. Like I was like, hey, this is 620 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 3: all right with me. It's like I didn't and it's 621 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 3: so funny. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm saying 622 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,880 Speaker 3: this loud. I used to date this guy, I remember 623 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,080 Speaker 3: saying to him because I was a virgin and I 624 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,720 Speaker 3: would just let him finger me. And I remember saying 625 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:08,080 Speaker 3: to him like, I want you to do anything to 626 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 3: make me say yes. 627 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 2: Like to have sex with him. 628 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 3: And then when I say, if you can get me 629 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 3: to say yes, tell me no, and see how I react. 630 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,600 Speaker 2: Oh wow, because I want over you. 631 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,639 Speaker 3: When you said this girl all of what fifteen years old? 632 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying because I remember, like I 633 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 2: wanted to know what like that feeling. 634 00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 3: Of like you gotta get no, you have to no, 635 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 3: please do it, Like I wanted to know what that 636 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 3: feeling was. 637 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,239 Speaker 2: You know, he never did it. Though he never did it. 638 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,240 Speaker 2: I want you to do anything. Yeah, I know, it's 639 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 2: like what, like why are you even talking like this? Yeah, 640 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,360 Speaker 2: He's like, why would I tell you no? The moment 641 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 2: I've been waiting for all that, right, you know, He's like, 642 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 2: but it's like, girl, come here. 643 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 3: But it's like I remember, like I was getting figured 644 00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 3: all the time, so I was like a fingerhole before 645 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,719 Speaker 3: I started like having sex. Like I would sneak out 646 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 3: of the house go down to the park and. 647 00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 2: I would get picked up and I would go to 648 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 2: the park. 649 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 3: And I remember like buying like cute little underwears and 650 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,359 Speaker 3: like wet ceiling stuff. I remember my first thong was 651 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,919 Speaker 3: my mom's, Like she forgot it in the dryer and 652 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 3: I saw it in there and I took it out 653 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 3: and I had that one thong and I just kept rewashing. 654 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 2: It was just washing the middle. 655 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,199 Speaker 3: Outwear and just washing down the middle and that it 656 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 3: was a purple sign. 657 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 2: It was my only though I wasn't allowed to wear. 658 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 2: I wasn't either. I was gonna ask you that, like 659 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 2: my mom did not. I couldn't wear thoughs until I 660 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,639 Speaker 2: got out of the house. 661 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's why I kept washing it out. Oh, 662 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,600 Speaker 3: I couldn't put it in regular laundry. I had at 663 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,680 Speaker 3: hand wash them every day and let them air dry, 664 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 3: like on the flat under my pillow and just put 665 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,200 Speaker 3: my pillow down. 666 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 2: Girl, coochie smelled like meal. 667 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:49,719 Speaker 3: Dude, that shit ain't dry, I know, but like I 668 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,920 Speaker 3: wanted to be sexy. So like when I started having 669 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:57,040 Speaker 3: SA I thought I was gonna feel like, you know, 670 00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,160 Speaker 3: you don't let it dry all the way. 671 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 2: Some people like the closing the washingtons are yeah, and 672 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 2: don't then. 673 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 3: And then the people who act like they don't they 674 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 3: can't smell like that makes me mad, Like, so you 675 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,439 Speaker 3: don't smell that your clothes is just sitting in there 676 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,359 Speaker 3: washing machine thir days. You still put him in the 677 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 3: dry like so I know this, listen, I don't know. Shoot, 678 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 3: And I remember like I was in high school and 679 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 3: I had lost my virginity or no, I didn't. No, 680 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 3: I was a virgin at the time, and it was 681 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,680 Speaker 3: a guy I was dating because I had so many 682 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 3: like little here and their boyfriends, and we said we 683 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 3: were going to be each other's first, like you know, 684 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 3: and I remember like him going down and man, it 685 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 3: was like so bad and I never had it done before, 686 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 3: so I didn't know, but I remember it just being 687 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 3: so bad. 688 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 2: So I feel like a part of me was like the. 689 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 3: Quest to find like why is everybody like sex so much? 690 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,840 Speaker 3: Like when is it gonna feel good to me? 691 00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, because it does, but everybody likes it? Wow, 692 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 2: what is that? 693 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 3: So part of me was like, Okay, I'm on the 694 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,000 Speaker 3: quest to see you know, when. 695 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 2: Is it gonna feel good? 696 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 3: Because even in my abusive relationship, like I feel like 697 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,200 Speaker 3: I don't even know if I really enjoyed it. I 698 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 3: feel like it was more like I was so into him. 699 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 3: It was like whatever he wanted. 700 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 2: You know what I mean, But it was never But 701 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 2: when I. 702 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 3: Got was someone who made it all about me, it 703 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,840 Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is. 704 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 2: Different, this is different. Yeah. 705 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, what was the first time you felt that like 706 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: or somebody Like what age were you when somebody finally 707 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: came around and it made you feel. 708 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 2: Like it was just about you. 709 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was on the cheerleading team at my school 710 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 3: and one of. 711 00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 2: My like one of my like my gosh, what do 712 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 2: you call each other squad members? Yeah, Like she had 713 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 2: a y. 714 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 3: She her brother in law was her brother in law, 715 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,760 Speaker 3: her god brother, her godbrother. 716 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 2: Like we were. We used to like do car washess. 717 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 3: For donations so we can raise money for camps those days. 718 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 3: It ain't nothing, but they just out there soliciting us. Anyways, 719 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 3: I was on the media and like, and he had 720 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 3: came by and he would every now and then just 721 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 3: like pull up and pick her up from school and stuff. 722 00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,959 Speaker 2: And I'd be like, I was like, who is that? 723 00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 2: But obviously he was way older than me. And I 724 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 2: remember I remember like he had came by and he 725 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 2: was like like car wash the nation. He was like, no, 726 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 2: I do need my car wash. 727 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 3: But he had took some money and he had like 728 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 3: put it in like my bathing suit top or something 729 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,719 Speaker 3: like yes, And I was just like, oh my gosh. 730 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 3: And I remember he had a dodge knee on. It 731 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 3: was like a slate blue dodge knee and in his 732 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 3: rear view mirror. 733 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 2: He had handcuffs and I was like, oh gosh. 734 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:45,840 Speaker 3: Like he's freaking who just like, no, I didn't know. 735 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 2: I didn't know at the time, and I was like whoa. 736 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 3: And I remember like, I don't know, not telling my 737 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,600 Speaker 3: friend that I liked it, and I don't I don't 738 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 3: even know how we even connected, but we ended up 739 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,240 Speaker 3: connecting somehow, and he was like the first guy that like, 740 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 3: you know, did all the things, and I was just 741 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:09,840 Speaker 3: like whoa, you know, so I would like, but I 742 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:13,440 Speaker 3: I never wanted to be his girlfriend. It was just like, no, 743 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 3: I like that thing, like I'd rather just have sex 744 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 3: with you. 745 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 2: I don't really want to like get to know you. 746 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 2: Was he like did that hurt him? Or was he Yeah? 747 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 3: Because men get hurt too, you know what I'm saying, 748 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 3: Like men are like, wait, what what do you mean? 749 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 2: You don't want to be my girl? 750 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,720 Speaker 1: When they're hurt, it hurts worse because they're not. They're 751 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 1: so used to being so strong and prideful that when 752 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,719 Speaker 1: somebody penetrates through that system is like whoa, yes, you've 753 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,400 Speaker 1: got to let you in and then you hurt me, 754 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:43,160 Speaker 1: so it's like I only liked you for this thing. 755 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,600 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And then it's like he. 756 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,160 Speaker 3: Would invite me to go eat or do all the 757 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 3: things I don't want to, which is kind of that's 758 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 3: messed up because he. 759 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 2: Was a really nice He was a nice guy. 760 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,680 Speaker 1: And that's how I feel like. Some men get ruined. 761 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,600 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that you ruined him, but I. 762 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 2: Say it. 763 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: They're into a woman sometimes and they don't get the 764 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 1: outcome they want, especially when they. 765 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 2: Pour into you. 766 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the next woman is gonna get it. It's like, 767 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,240 Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's a fact. And that happens to women too, 768 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:15,920 Speaker 1: because men can they can definitely ruin a good woman 769 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,280 Speaker 1: where they're like, you know what, I'm not that's it 770 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: with anybody else. 771 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:19,480 Speaker 2: I'm straight. 772 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 3: What's the way someone can ruin you? I feel like 773 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 3: with you if if they ruin your. 774 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 2: Trust, oh definitely, yeah, I'm super big. You can tell. 775 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,560 Speaker 1: I mean I had to fire someone. 776 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 2: Because of trust. 777 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 1: I can deal with a lot of things. But if 778 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,959 Speaker 1: you lie to me, then I can't trust absolutely. 779 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, just let me know what it is, but give. 780 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: Me the respect to tell me the truth where so 781 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: I can make a decision versus lying to me and 782 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 1: they let me find out the truth and then you 783 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: put me at risk, Like. 784 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 3: I was like, it's too much I think that, and 785 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 3: I think it's dope that you can handle truth, because 786 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 3: I think that a lot of women ask for that 787 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 3: and they can't handle that. So then it's like men 788 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,240 Speaker 3: are like, Okay, if this is what you want, i'll 789 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,360 Speaker 3: give you that, and then they do it and it's 790 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 3: like it's not a safe space. 791 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 2: You know what I mean, you told me this is 792 00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 2: what you want to give you. I'm being honest. 793 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 3: It's like, see, that's what this is why I don't 794 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 3: say anything. 795 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 1: Yep. 796 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 3: So it's like and I feel like that's another reason 797 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 3: why a lot of men they're not vulnerable because it's 798 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 3: like I tried to do this and you did this, 799 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 3: or it's like and it's not worth the risk of 800 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 3: you leaving. 801 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,920 Speaker 2: So I'm just not gonna I'm gonna go back over here. 802 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,920 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna say nothing anymore. But it's like, tell 803 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:33,920 Speaker 2: me the truth, tell me the truth. 804 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 3: It's like, I'm not going to tell you the truth 805 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 3: so you can crucify me. I'm telling you the truth 806 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,960 Speaker 3: because I owe you that respect. But I think that 807 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 3: there is that that like gray area of people. Tell 808 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 3: me the truth, I can handle it, and it's like, no, babe, 809 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 3: you can't. 810 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, stop asking that man for the truth. You can't 811 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,720 Speaker 1: for real, don't do that. Another question, at what point 812 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: did you realize it? Kind of know for me, we 813 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: were both raised in a society where like what you 814 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: want to do another woman? 815 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 2: Will you better? 816 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: Everything is so sexually driven, like you better be sucking, 817 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,719 Speaker 1: you better do it all the things because that's what 818 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,799 Speaker 1: your man needs. At what point were because I know 819 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: for me, it was a point in my life where 820 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 1: I realized sex wasn't everything and that I was giving 821 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,479 Speaker 1: way too much in my soul to people who didn't 822 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,520 Speaker 1: deserve it. At what point were you like, you know what, 823 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 1: I gotta switching things up, Like I'm giving and just 824 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 1: giving my body away, adding to the body count, and 825 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 1: it's not being appreciated or reciprocated in the way. 826 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 2: That it's feeding my soul. At what point what was 827 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 2: there a revelation where you're like, Okay, yeah, I gotta 828 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,840 Speaker 2: switch things up so I can get the type of 829 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:46,439 Speaker 2: love that I want. 830 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,160 Speaker 3: You know, it's funny because I think that, like when 831 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 3: I was younger, everybody just wanted sex from me. 832 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:56,719 Speaker 2: Everyone, so I did it. So in my mind I 833 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 2: thought that that's just what you want. 834 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,799 Speaker 3: I didn't have to do anything else, you know. So 835 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 3: it wasn't until I started dating this guy. He was 836 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 3: a songwriter, and. 837 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:06,800 Speaker 2: I remember just so romantic. 838 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 3: They really are, they really are, And I remember like 839 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,759 Speaker 3: doing all the sexual things and him being like, you know, 840 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 3: it's just not always about that, and I was just 841 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 3: thinking like, oh my gosh, what else is there to do? 842 00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,760 Speaker 2: M Because I thought this is what keeps you because 843 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:26,399 Speaker 2: that's what we're taught. 844 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:32,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, and and my entire life that's all anybody 845 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,640 Speaker 3: ever wanted for me, so I never. 846 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 2: Had to be more, you know. 847 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 3: And I feel like that's like women now, it's like 848 00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,120 Speaker 3: they look like a lot of men look at them 849 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,880 Speaker 3: like they're objects. So they do all the things to 850 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 3: appeal to the to the baller or whatever, and then 851 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 3: it's like, even after all of that, they still don't 852 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,120 Speaker 3: want you, and you're like, well, what else do I 853 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 3: really have? 854 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 2: And that was me then, and I didn't know until 855 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 2: a man told me. 856 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,360 Speaker 3: I saw somebody that said they said, stop taking advice 857 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:02,719 Speaker 3: from men from women. You need to talk to men 858 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,280 Speaker 3: about men. But then I also feel like there's levels 859 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,040 Speaker 3: to a man. I can't just throw everybody, you know 860 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 3: what I mean you said it's only there's a certain 861 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,520 Speaker 3: ten percent. 862 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,120 Speaker 1: Yes, there's a certain caliber man you need to get 863 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,200 Speaker 1: advice from exactly. 864 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 2: But they're like with women, it's like everything is off 865 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 2: of their experience. It's like you're not a man. Yeah right, 866 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:22,839 Speaker 2: I'm taking advice from women about men. 867 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,800 Speaker 3: But I know that in that situation, my advice was 868 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,280 Speaker 3: from him. It was just like everything is not always 869 00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 3: about sex. And I remember it was fourth of July. 870 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:32,560 Speaker 2: Girl. I was so embarrassed. 871 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 3: His best friend was dating one of my friends, and 872 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:35,719 Speaker 3: I remember it. 873 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 2: Was like, oh, yeah, wait for your night, and like 874 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 2: we were. 875 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 3: Barbecuing and I went and made myself a plate and 876 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,840 Speaker 3: just sat down and he was just like wamn. Like 877 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,800 Speaker 3: he was like, you're not even gonna fix my plate. 878 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:52,480 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I didn't know, wow, and 879 00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,160 Speaker 2: he was like no, no, no, don't worry about it. 880 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,640 Speaker 2: And I was just like I didn't know. Okay. Yeah. 881 00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 2: I felt bad though, because I'm like I thought we 882 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,200 Speaker 2: were fine, Like. 883 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 3: I probably gave you hell on right here right, you 884 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,480 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, But it's like no, And I 885 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,359 Speaker 3: think his issue with me was the fact that I 886 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 3: was a whole because. 887 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 2: It is like, don't you do anything else? Yeah, but 888 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 2: that's how you know, that's what you lead with. Yeah. 889 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was just like it was like, oh 890 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,359 Speaker 3: my gosh, I had an aha moment where it was like, 891 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like there has to be more. And 892 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 3: it wasn't that I wasn't that because my mother has 893 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 3: always been like the super submissive. Food was always on 894 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,759 Speaker 3: the table, clean house, kids are bathed, the whole nine. 895 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:38,160 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. 896 00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 3: So it wasn't that I didn't grow up seeing that, 897 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,800 Speaker 3: but it was just that that's not what I thought 898 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:44,600 Speaker 3: man wanted. 899 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 2: Wow, So I never led with them. Yes, it's so good. 900 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 1: And I feel like our society and influences had a 901 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,480 Speaker 1: lot to do with it because I thought the same thing. 902 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 1: I thought that's all they wanted was sex, and now 903 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:56,719 Speaker 1: I thought that was a way to keep a man. 904 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,879 Speaker 2: I did, yeah, and I was like I gotta figure 905 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:00,360 Speaker 2: have to. 906 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,080 Speaker 1: That's when I started like watching porn to try to 907 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,719 Speaker 1: figure out like new tricks and other things to do because. 908 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 2: I was sheltered. I didn't know what to do. So 909 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,000 Speaker 2: I was like, well I got to figure out some 910 00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,239 Speaker 2: new things, you know, or when you watch and You're like, 911 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,320 Speaker 2: they can do that right. You're like, I don't know 912 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,240 Speaker 2: if I can do it right. You're like, oh. 913 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,200 Speaker 3: No, because it's like if it's an easy place to 914 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,359 Speaker 3: go to be intimidated, very much like me, if you're 915 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 3: young and you're just you got a new boyfriend, and 916 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:26,719 Speaker 3: it's like, first of all. 917 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 2: Why are you trying to swing from the chandelier? Man? 918 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,040 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Why are you doing all 919 00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 2: of that? Why are you doing all But it's crazy 920 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 2: because like everything that I was taught was just wrong. 921 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 3: So it's like having to unlearned things now that I'm 922 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 3: in my thirties, Like I have to unlearn that because 923 00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 3: this was unhealthy and that doesn't work with this new one. 924 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 2: It doesn't, you know what I mean. 925 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 3: Or you try to go in with like okay, well 926 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 3: I've dated all these people and I have all the things, 927 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,560 Speaker 3: but it's just like throw them out, ye keep keep 928 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,799 Speaker 3: your three things and everything is not sex all this 929 00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 3: like man or hunters like they need it, right they do, 930 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 3: but that's like you said, that's not what's. 931 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,200 Speaker 2: Gonna keep them. 932 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,440 Speaker 3: So it's like body can't hide low whatever it's I 933 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:17,080 Speaker 3: think it's all. It's all to the person yea, that 934 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 3: that you're with, because it's like you can be you 935 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,839 Speaker 3: can be a girl who's only had sex with one 936 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:23,240 Speaker 3: guy and that one. 937 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,760 Speaker 2: Guy had you upside down over there, flip. 938 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 3: You all have to do all these things you only 939 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,560 Speaker 3: know one person, and then you can have a girl 940 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,760 Speaker 3: who's only had sex. 941 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:34,879 Speaker 2: With five people once. Yeah, So it's like who has more. 942 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 3: Exactly which one is more of a I don't want 943 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,840 Speaker 3: to say who, but it's a whole, like the amount 944 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,279 Speaker 3: of people or the things that you've done exactly right, 945 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,800 Speaker 3: Because that's the question too, like what is a whole? 946 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,319 Speaker 3: Like is it the amount of people you've had sex 947 00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 3: with or what you do with the people? And I 948 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 3: think society looks at a whole it's like or you know, 949 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,319 Speaker 3: I'm saying, they've made it. 950 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,720 Speaker 2: Where it's the amount of people you've been with. Right, 951 00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,919 Speaker 2: But men can go do everything and they're not a whole. 952 00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 2: They're just being a man. Yeah, they're just being a man. 953 00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:06,399 Speaker 2: Women aren't supposed to But why why? I know why? 954 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 2: We're human too. We have feelings, we have emotions, we 955 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:09,760 Speaker 2: have urges. 956 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, they say women don't. We're not built like that. 957 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,840 Speaker 3: We're not built we're emotional creatures. 958 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like if we find one good one, 959 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:18,840 Speaker 2: we like that one, that's all we want. You know. 960 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,200 Speaker 3: Sometimes it's five different ones and you like one thing 961 00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,360 Speaker 3: from all of them, you know what I'm saying. 962 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 2: That's that's real. 963 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,879 Speaker 3: So it's like you I think that the girls who 964 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,759 Speaker 3: are being labeled as whose are the ones who are 965 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:32,759 Speaker 3: like openly, like you know, doing the trips and doing 966 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,680 Speaker 3: all this and taking this and that, and they're very 967 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:38,960 Speaker 3: upfront about what. But it's like, but why why does 968 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,320 Speaker 3: that make her a hole? She's doing what she wants 969 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 3: to do, so it makes her a whole because she's 970 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 3: getting flued out and she's accepting gifts and trips. 971 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 2: They offer that. So it's like she, so you mean 972 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,680 Speaker 2: to tell me a who is somebody who ain't got 973 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 2: no discernment? Right? 974 00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 3: So it's like, okay, take the trip from one guy, 975 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:57,960 Speaker 3: but what if all of them, this one taking you 976 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,160 Speaker 3: to the moundives. 977 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,719 Speaker 2: That one taking you to do bay you and you 978 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,160 Speaker 2: want to go and I been there? So it got 979 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:03,840 Speaker 2: fluid out. 980 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm saying, but it's like, is a is a whole? 981 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 3: The lack of discernment, you know what I'm saying. Or 982 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,240 Speaker 3: is it like or is it sexual liberation to say 983 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 3: I'm gonna. 984 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 2: Do whatever I want and why do you care? Or 985 00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,400 Speaker 2: is it because nothing's private anymore? 986 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:23,120 Speaker 1: It's definitely because nothing that's a good it's nothing is 987 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,040 Speaker 1: private anymore. But I do feel like we are getting 988 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 1: to a place in society where sexual liberation is more 989 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,480 Speaker 1: accepted than it used to be, and women are more 990 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,840 Speaker 1: free with saying, yes, I love to have sex, I 991 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,719 Speaker 1: love to have sex with different men. They're very comfortable 992 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,080 Speaker 1: with coming out of that word before they be like, 993 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:40,600 Speaker 1: I want. 994 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,080 Speaker 2: To talk about that, like I even know what I'm doing. 995 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 2: They're gonna lab with me a whole. Women don't care anymore. 996 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,480 Speaker 3: They really don't, because you know why, I think that 997 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:49,680 Speaker 3: for a long time, women tried to do the things 998 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,120 Speaker 3: and if that didn't work, I'm gonna go do what 999 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 3: I want to do. 1000 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 2: Now you get to a point where you like, I'm 1001 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,880 Speaker 2: gonna do what I want to do. Yeah, because it's like, okay, 1002 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,439 Speaker 2: you guys, you want me to. You ever saw that video, 1003 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,360 Speaker 2: it was like, I act like a lady. 1004 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,640 Speaker 3: Don't do this, don't eat this across your leg and 1005 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,479 Speaker 3: you sit down, don't wear short skirts. That's that's gonna 1006 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 3: entice man wear long dresses. Do this and it's just 1007 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:14,440 Speaker 3: like what And it's literally picking us apart. So it's like, 1008 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:18,040 Speaker 3: if you know, I know that there's a saying that says, 1009 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 3: before you look outward, go anywhere, you know what I mean. 1010 00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,959 Speaker 3: Because it's like I could be doing all the things 1011 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,680 Speaker 3: and I still haven't found my person or whatever. So 1012 00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:27,840 Speaker 3: now I'm gonna go be free or whatever. And I 1013 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,800 Speaker 3: feel like this is the most honest I have ever 1014 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,760 Speaker 3: been in a relationship. And this is the most loved 1015 00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,560 Speaker 3: I've ever felt in. 1016 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,040 Speaker 2: A relationship, you know what I mean. And it's just 1017 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,640 Speaker 2: like he knows. 1018 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 3: He's like, we're two retired thoughts that found love, you 1019 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:45,239 Speaker 3: know what, because there's also space for that. 1020 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,160 Speaker 2: So body count at least in my relationship. That don't 1021 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,680 Speaker 2: matter to us. Yeah, you know what I mean. Like 1022 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:54,640 Speaker 2: I'm not surprised. And then I tell him, but we 1023 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,520 Speaker 2: share stories. I'd be like, oh my god, man, this 1024 00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:04,239 Speaker 2: is one time he was so musty ball be like, what, man, 1025 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:04,920 Speaker 2: that's crazy? 1026 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,440 Speaker 3: Anybody, Oh man, I never remember one time I was 1027 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 3: hitting this one girl and she had a piece of 1028 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,080 Speaker 3: toilet tissue in the back in her butt crack and 1029 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:13,239 Speaker 3: I was like, did you take it out? 1030 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,960 Speaker 2: And he was like, I just took it out and 1031 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,760 Speaker 2: I didn't stop. But I was just like, oh, y'all, 1032 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,000 Speaker 2: like we share stories. 1033 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:21,480 Speaker 3: I love it, you know where It's just like I 1034 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 3: remember having to like not say too much or whatever 1035 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,600 Speaker 3: in my relationship to because you gonna run them away 1036 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,920 Speaker 3: or they'd be like yeah, but at the end of 1037 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,799 Speaker 3: the day, you lying about your truth doesn't make you 1038 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:35,800 Speaker 3: an honest person. 1039 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,280 Speaker 2: Wow. You know what I'm saying. That's a nugget. 1040 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:40,560 Speaker 1: You lying about your truth does not make you an 1041 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:41,200 Speaker 1: honest person. 1042 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 3: That's good, yeah, because it's like, Okay, I'm in this 1043 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,759 Speaker 3: relationship and I'm lying about all the men that I've 1044 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,840 Speaker 3: had sex with, so he thinks I'm whole. Yeah, but 1045 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 3: that doesn't define my wholeness exactly, and that doesn't make 1046 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:56,600 Speaker 3: me like worthy or an honest person or whatever. 1047 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,600 Speaker 2: It's just like I'm lying to you to to you know, 1048 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,640 Speaker 2: but I'm still that person. 1049 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 3: I still have all that baggage, I still have all 1050 00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,280 Speaker 3: those bodies who you are today. 1051 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,640 Speaker 2: Yes, you're welcome you like that thing that I did. 1052 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,200 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like, you ain't gonna see 1053 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 2: where I got it from. I got it from gosh, right. 1054 00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:20,319 Speaker 3: But it's just like I have to like dim my 1055 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,319 Speaker 3: whole life to make you feel comfortable. 1056 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:28,840 Speaker 2: Wow, I'm not dimming my whole life. Yeah. Yeah, I'm grown. 1057 00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 2: I'm grown. 1058 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 3: And the great part for me is the fact that 1059 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:34,760 Speaker 3: it was prior to social media. 1060 00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,160 Speaker 2: So that was your word against mine, period. Right, They're 1061 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 2: not gonna lie, right, you know what I'm saying. 1062 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,160 Speaker 3: But I think people just put so much on a 1063 00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 3: body count as if that makes you whole summer now, 1064 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 3: and that's not fair. 1065 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,440 Speaker 2: That's true. I don't want no whole some man, and 1066 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,560 Speaker 2: I don't want no low body count. Man. I don't either. 1067 00:44:55,760 --> 00:45:01,040 Speaker 3: I ain't saying I want Will Chamberlain now, but but 1068 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:02,320 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. 1069 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:04,920 Speaker 1: Yes, I love that you are walking in your truth 1070 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:08,480 Speaker 1: and I feel like that is why you are in 1071 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:09,759 Speaker 1: the space that you. 1072 00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 2: Are in your life. And I feel like if more 1073 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,440 Speaker 2: people just owned. 1074 00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,640 Speaker 1: Who they are the mistakes they've made, I think other 1075 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:17,440 Speaker 1: people be more. 1076 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,200 Speaker 2: Willing to receive it. 1077 00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,600 Speaker 1: And you be really surprised when you walk in your 1078 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 1: life and say, hey, this is what I've done, who 1079 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:22,839 Speaker 1: I've been. 1080 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,560 Speaker 2: You know, I'm saying people that you trust. 1081 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,319 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, but like own it and 1082 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:27,920 Speaker 1: not try to act like you're something that you're not. 1083 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 1: One you're going to be more relatable to a lot 1084 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,400 Speaker 1: of people because a lot of people are walking they're 1085 00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:36,440 Speaker 1: literally walking under a costume of something that but that 1086 00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:36,799 Speaker 1: they're not. 1087 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,080 Speaker 2: They have a mask on. They're not being true to 1088 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,399 Speaker 2: themselves and wondering why they haven't. 1089 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,080 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, gotten further because you're not being 1090 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:44,960 Speaker 1: honest with who you are. 1091 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:48,000 Speaker 2: People need to see the real you, you know. So I 1092 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:48,319 Speaker 2: love that. 1093 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: I love that you're walking in your truth. And then 1094 00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,359 Speaker 1: I love that you found love than you know and 1095 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,160 Speaker 1: that yeah, I. 1096 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:55,799 Speaker 3: Know. 1097 00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:00,439 Speaker 1: So let's talk about the journey that you azed because 1098 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,080 Speaker 1: you've made a comment about you felt like sex was 1099 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:05,360 Speaker 1: all you had to offer and that's all they wanted. 1100 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,799 Speaker 1: At what point what was the journey like where you realize, hey, 1101 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,759 Speaker 1: maybe there are things that besides you talked about how 1102 00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,360 Speaker 1: the guy you went to the cookout and I sat. 1103 00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,399 Speaker 2: Down and didn't. He's like, but you do know there's 1104 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,880 Speaker 2: more than sex. Tearing that chicken up in his face, 1105 00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,120 Speaker 2: He's like, we're mine, right? 1106 00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:25,319 Speaker 1: At what point was that a pivotal point And like, 1107 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,440 Speaker 1: at what point did you realize okay, And what was 1108 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,520 Speaker 1: that journey like to you realizing I've got to do 1109 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:30,680 Speaker 1: more than just give my body? 1110 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, so okay, So I remember, like I said, I 1111 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,560 Speaker 3: grew up seeing that, So it's not that I didn't know, 1112 00:46:36,239 --> 00:46:37,400 Speaker 3: but I just didn't think that's. 1113 00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:37,920 Speaker 2: What they wanted. 1114 00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,799 Speaker 3: So I had that epiphany, not epiphany, I had that 1115 00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,240 Speaker 3: come to Jesus moment with my boyfriend at the time, 1116 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,120 Speaker 3: and then I found myself trying. 1117 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:48,319 Speaker 2: To just do a little bit more. But I'll never 1118 00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,600 Speaker 2: forget I was dating this guy. It's always I was 1119 00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,720 Speaker 2: dating this guy. Yeah, there's this guy. 1120 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,080 Speaker 3: And he didn't have any food in his fridge and 1121 00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:58,799 Speaker 3: he had like just moved to the city and I 1122 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,759 Speaker 3: was like, okay, he was there for only a little bit. 1123 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,280 Speaker 3: He was like playing basketball, and I was like, okay, 1124 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,800 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the grocery store and stock his fridge. 1125 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,640 Speaker 3: App And I remember going to the grocery store, like. 1126 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,160 Speaker 2: In the blazing heat and going and like had a 1127 00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 2: cart and I went. 1128 00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,480 Speaker 3: I even took the cart back from the store and 1129 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:20,400 Speaker 3: lugged it all the way to the house and it 1130 00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,200 Speaker 3: was like, this is before Uber and all of that. 1131 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,719 Speaker 2: So like I'm on two feet. 1132 00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:28,319 Speaker 3: What they call it, Jerry, I'm on literally yeah, like 1133 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,720 Speaker 3: I'm literally walking in the blazing heat, pushing a freaking 1134 00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:37,400 Speaker 3: grocery cart from Walmart, like and about him pops and pans, towels, food, 1135 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:38,160 Speaker 3: like you are me? 1136 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,759 Speaker 2: That all the things right? Because I want you to 1137 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,440 Speaker 2: ask me if I see dumb's gonna do it? 1138 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,880 Speaker 3: So I did all the stuff, and I remember, I remember, 1139 00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,640 Speaker 3: like I didn't know. 1140 00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:49,960 Speaker 2: I was trying to just do laundry. 1141 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 3: I remember washing the white towels and the black towels 1142 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,200 Speaker 3: together and they were new, so you know the white 1143 00:47:55,200 --> 00:48:00,400 Speaker 3: towers turned gray, Yeah, they turned gray. And I was like, 1144 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,200 Speaker 3: oh man, Like I really was trying to do all 1145 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,480 Speaker 3: the things, and all I wanted us to do was 1146 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:05,920 Speaker 3: just sit down and have dinner together. 1147 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 2: But he just did. He was just acting funny, and 1148 00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:09,640 Speaker 2: I was like, what's wrong with you? I was like, 1149 00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,120 Speaker 2: I saw that you didn't have all the summer. I 1150 00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 2: went to the store and I got you all these 1151 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,719 Speaker 2: things and blah blah blah. He was like, I didn't 1152 00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:16,319 Speaker 2: ask you to do that. 1153 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,640 Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't ask you to do That's like a 1154 00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 1: slap in the face, right. 1155 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,000 Speaker 3: And I'm just like, but in my mind, it's like, 1156 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,480 Speaker 3: but you needed it. But with him not having he 1157 00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:31,600 Speaker 3: didn't have mommy issues. He was the type that was 1158 00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,000 Speaker 3: like I don't. 1159 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,239 Speaker 2: Want my woman doing that. Wow. 1160 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,200 Speaker 3: So it's like if I can't do it and you 1161 00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,920 Speaker 3: do it, you make me look. 1162 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:40,680 Speaker 2: Like I'm less of a man. 1163 00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:44,360 Speaker 3: Wow, Because I should have been the one to fill 1164 00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:45,799 Speaker 3: that fridge up before you got here. 1165 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:47,239 Speaker 2: I didn't have a chance to do it. 1166 00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 3: I didn't express that to you because if he had, 1167 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:51,560 Speaker 3: I would have waited till he got done with practice. 1168 00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:53,120 Speaker 2: We could have went to the grocery store, you know 1169 00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:53,640 Speaker 2: what I'm saying. 1170 00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:57,200 Speaker 3: But me just being I'm a forward thinker, Like before 1171 00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,640 Speaker 3: you know, like my guy has to do anything, I'm 1172 00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:00,000 Speaker 3: always like. 1173 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,680 Speaker 2: Okay, we gotta do this. We gotta make sure he 1174 00:49:01,719 --> 00:49:03,120 Speaker 2: has this, he's gonna need this. 1175 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:06,880 Speaker 3: Packing my snack like all I think before you can 1176 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:08,080 Speaker 3: even hey, where's my in? 1177 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:11,799 Speaker 2: There isn't there? Sorry in the car ready? And that's 1178 00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,200 Speaker 2: just that's what works for me. 1179 00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:15,880 Speaker 3: I like to be on top of things, especially in 1180 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,040 Speaker 3: my relationship. Yeah, which is crazy because I'm like, if 1181 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:22,200 Speaker 3: I had that same energy in my life, ma'am AnyWho 1182 00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:24,040 Speaker 3: bring the back? 1183 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 2: No, but. 1184 00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:29,840 Speaker 3: I thought he was mad at me, like, but it 1185 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,000 Speaker 3: was really that like I made him feel bad and 1186 00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:34,240 Speaker 3: he didn't really know how. 1187 00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,360 Speaker 2: To deal with feelings like yeah. 1188 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:40,400 Speaker 3: And it wasn't that he didn't appreciate it, but it 1189 00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:44,400 Speaker 3: was like it really highlighted what he didn't have together 1190 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,400 Speaker 3: before I came into. 1191 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:46,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that was thing. He's like, I didn't have 1192 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 1: time and I should have. Yeah, you've done it. Now 1193 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:50,520 Speaker 1: I feel bad because I didn't do it. 1194 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:53,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like just be like he could have 1195 00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,239 Speaker 2: just been like the hand bag. I've had so much 1196 00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:55,640 Speaker 2: going on. 1197 00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 3: I have so much going on. I promise you it 1198 00:49:57,440 --> 00:49:59,120 Speaker 3: was on my mind. I hate that you had to 1199 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,000 Speaker 3: do that, but I'm so great. 1200 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:00,600 Speaker 2: You know. 1201 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:02,440 Speaker 3: They wasn't talking like that then, the damn sure not 1202 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:03,400 Speaker 3: talking like that now. 1203 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:04,719 Speaker 2: It's hard for people. 1204 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,400 Speaker 3: To really express themself like that, especially like when you 1205 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,440 Speaker 3: come into a person's life and you're doing something that 1206 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:10,640 Speaker 3: they've never experienced. 1207 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,120 Speaker 2: They don't know how to handle it. They they don't 1208 00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,200 Speaker 2: know what to do. I say, thank you do it. 1209 00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,200 Speaker 3: Like, well, I don't know what to do, right, you 1210 00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,239 Speaker 3: know what I mean? And I think I think that 1211 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,319 Speaker 3: with men, at least with the men that I've dealt 1212 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,560 Speaker 3: with who have had these kinds of conversations with, it's 1213 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,879 Speaker 3: always like I don't know how to say like you're 1214 00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,640 Speaker 3: not taught to You're not taught to say like I 1215 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:32,080 Speaker 3: don't know. 1216 00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,720 Speaker 2: How to do something. You're always taught to just figure 1217 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:35,040 Speaker 2: it out. 1218 00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,200 Speaker 3: So but in the situation where like you might have 1219 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,880 Speaker 3: to say like I dropped the ball, you have to 1220 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,520 Speaker 3: have accountability or say like I honestly just didn't know. 1221 00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:45,680 Speaker 2: You don't know how to. 1222 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:48,160 Speaker 3: Do that because you you weren't taught how to do 1223 00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:49,719 Speaker 3: that exactly, you. 1224 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,560 Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying. So and so for me, it was. 1225 00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,560 Speaker 3: Like, Okay, the body stuff didn't work, and then I 1226 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,719 Speaker 3: try to be thoughtful that didn't work, and it's just 1227 00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:59,280 Speaker 3: like wtf, Yeah. 1228 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 2: You know, like it's they're like I wanted. 1229 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,680 Speaker 3: I feel like I wanted to be that person for somebody, 1230 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,439 Speaker 3: especially once I once I got the game from him 1231 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:09,360 Speaker 3: saying like it's not all about that. Yes, I tried 1232 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,600 Speaker 3: to like I still lead with that in a lot 1233 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,680 Speaker 3: of ways, but then I tried to be like, Okay, 1234 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:15,440 Speaker 3: I'm a lead with this so they can know I'm 1235 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:16,440 Speaker 3: like this, and then. 1236 00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:20,040 Speaker 1: I got I'm really gonna kills size. 1237 00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,160 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but not everybody. 1238 00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,239 Speaker 3: You know, Like I dated a guy who never wanted 1239 00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,480 Speaker 3: me to make the bed. He's like, that's a maidstude, But. 1240 00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:29,640 Speaker 2: Do you have a maid? Did he have a maid? 1241 00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:33,680 Speaker 2: It was Auntie, she came in and clean that. 1242 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:40,520 Speaker 3: No, but you know, so like it's just different. 1243 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,400 Speaker 2: It's like not everybody wants you. 1244 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:44,680 Speaker 3: It's like they want you to be domesticated, but they 1245 00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:45,560 Speaker 3: don't want. 1246 00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,560 Speaker 2: But it's like levels to it. It is like there's 1247 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,560 Speaker 2: different levels with different men. Yeah, he's like, I don't 1248 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 2: want you doing this, Like that's peasantry, is it? Tho? 1249 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,400 Speaker 2: I'm just looking up groceries. 1250 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,040 Speaker 3: Like there's some guys who are just like I don't 1251 00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,399 Speaker 3: want you to lift a finger, and then there's other 1252 00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,440 Speaker 3: ones who were like, oh, thank you so much for 1253 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:02,360 Speaker 3: going to public for me. 1254 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,759 Speaker 2: I didn't have time. Yeah you know what I mean. 1255 00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,239 Speaker 2: And I think that my guy now is like he he. 1256 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,600 Speaker 3: Just he just expressed not that's the word I'm looking for. 1257 00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:16,000 Speaker 3: Accept everything, like oh man, you ain't got. 1258 00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:20,239 Speaker 2: This, Oh man, you got that? Oh yes, that makes 1259 00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:20,839 Speaker 2: you feel good. 1260 00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:25,000 Speaker 3: I feel appreciated for efforts, yes, and you know, but 1261 00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:28,719 Speaker 3: it was definitely a journey trying to figure that out. 1262 00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:31,920 Speaker 2: But I think it's each person. 1263 00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, because you see, like you've named different standards of 1264 00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,880 Speaker 1: different me in head like one guy didn't want to 1265 00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,479 Speaker 1: sit in the finger of other person, was like, don't 1266 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:38,839 Speaker 1: do this. 1267 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,400 Speaker 3: And even in like my sex life, it's like okay, 1268 00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,280 Speaker 3: like you know, as a. 1269 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:46,480 Speaker 2: Former whole, like I have O. I love how she 1270 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,160 Speaker 2: says as. 1271 00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,239 Speaker 3: A former as a former whole, like you know, like 1272 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,560 Speaker 3: it's twenty twenty three, so I'm only got one body now. 1273 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:55,800 Speaker 2: But it's right, you know what I'm saying, but your 1274 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,239 Speaker 2: new me, but you know, new year, knew she. 1275 00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:04,320 Speaker 3: But like even trying to like navigate like you can't 1276 00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:06,879 Speaker 3: go in there and thinking that everybody going like one thing, 1277 00:53:07,520 --> 00:53:08,960 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, it's like, okay, you got 1278 00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:10,279 Speaker 3: to keep him saves, like you gotta do all this, 1279 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,719 Speaker 3: but it's just like you do this, oh he don't 1280 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,560 Speaker 3: like that, then you gotta do this, but oh that 1281 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,040 Speaker 3: one like this, but this one didn't, and you're just 1282 00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,840 Speaker 3: like and then it's just like you know, I'm just 1283 00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,400 Speaker 3: gonna save this with my husband because this is just 1284 00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:22,560 Speaker 3: this is just getting to ghetto. 1285 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gettle. You know. 1286 00:53:27,880 --> 00:53:31,480 Speaker 1: Let's talk about sexual health because I know, for me, 1287 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:33,799 Speaker 1: I've definitely. 1288 00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,040 Speaker 2: Had unprotected sex. Like I'm not gonna say and be 1289 00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,000 Speaker 2: like I've only used. 1290 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, would you see the episodes, you're double what 1291 00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 1: I'm talking. 1292 00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,960 Speaker 2: But I have I've had I've had unprotected sex. 1293 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,040 Speaker 1: And like I told you, my mother would always say, 1294 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:50,160 Speaker 1: getting pregnant is not. 1295 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,920 Speaker 2: The worst thing that can happen. And I used to 1296 00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:54,880 Speaker 2: always be afraid of that. 1297 00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,640 Speaker 1: But me and would they always like, well, it feels 1298 00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,279 Speaker 1: better without a kindom, So like I knew also using 1299 00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,239 Speaker 1: a condom. And I wasn't like, let me see your 1300 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,719 Speaker 1: your examination papers and your tests and make sure that 1301 00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:09,880 Speaker 1: you're negative on everything until I got older. 1302 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:10,360 Speaker 2: You know. 1303 00:54:11,280 --> 00:54:14,799 Speaker 1: It wasn't until I got older and more responsible and 1304 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:20,040 Speaker 1: just understanding that that health literally affects all the other 1305 00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,200 Speaker 1: hells that you have going on unside your body and 1306 00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:24,440 Speaker 1: the things that people can like give tape from one 1307 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:28,120 Speaker 1: person gives you. Has there ever been a situation where 1308 00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:32,560 Speaker 1: you had like any scares or any like where you decided, 1309 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,080 Speaker 1: you know what, like I got to be more careful 1310 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,040 Speaker 1: because you know, I know, we had moments in our 1311 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,920 Speaker 1: life where we just free, we want to whatever I 1312 00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,680 Speaker 1: mean wants since we want to do you know, if 1313 00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,920 Speaker 1: it's and it's pleasure for us too, Like for me, 1314 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:46,440 Speaker 1: like condoms that I have to use certain types of 1315 00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,759 Speaker 1: condoms because I like it just does not agree with me, 1316 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:54,200 Speaker 1: like if it's like yeah, like drives up and yeah, 1317 00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:54,799 Speaker 1: like it's bad. 1318 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,680 Speaker 2: I used to hate when people said that, my girl, 1319 00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:59,719 Speaker 2: you just want to do it, but not really am 1320 00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,520 Speaker 2: tho know what? So what kind of lamb have used? 1321 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,319 Speaker 2: Lamb skin? No way? So that means you have to 1322 00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:10,799 Speaker 2: provide your own? Yeah, yeah I haven't. Wow. Is it better? Yeah? 1323 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:12,560 Speaker 2: And I actually like it because it really feels closer 1324 00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:12,919 Speaker 2: to skin. 1325 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:13,920 Speaker 3: Wow. 1326 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,560 Speaker 2: I just had a lamb chop the other day. Wow. 1327 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,759 Speaker 3: You know I've never It's funny you say that because 1328 00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,880 Speaker 3: I've never asked someone like, hey, like what are your 1329 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,120 Speaker 3: test results? Or have you gotten tested lately or whatever? 1330 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,520 Speaker 3: Because I always felt like, oh my gosh, I'm the 1331 00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,000 Speaker 3: one who's out here doing all this stuff and they 1332 00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:32,719 Speaker 3: don't ask. 1333 00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:33,880 Speaker 2: Me ask them. 1334 00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then I've been in relationships where like I 1335 00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,640 Speaker 3: will go get tested and the guy wouldn't, and he'll 1336 00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:40,879 Speaker 3: be like were good, and I'm like, are you good? 1337 00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,840 Speaker 2: No, because no, I'm saying I know I'm good, but 1338 00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,000 Speaker 2: he asking are you good to go? 1339 00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,200 Speaker 3: But it's like if we're having to protected sex and 1340 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,600 Speaker 3: I go and I'm fine that he knows he's good, 1341 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:49,520 Speaker 3: then he's okay too. 1342 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:52,560 Speaker 1: And that's not always the case, because can lie dormant 1343 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:54,600 Speaker 1: in you? Yeah, because my mom used to always say 1344 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:57,160 Speaker 1: that too. She was like, just just because you test negative, 1345 00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,480 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's not in you. 1346 00:55:58,719 --> 00:56:01,759 Speaker 2: Someone works God. She was like, fear of God. 1347 00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,319 Speaker 1: I was like, lords my face, a lot of dormin 1348 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,920 Speaker 1: anybody for years and then to pop up and you 1349 00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,520 Speaker 1: hadn't had sex with all these people and I was like, 1350 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:09,920 Speaker 1: you're right. 1351 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:15,400 Speaker 2: So he's like, Mom, but I recently was. 1352 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:19,440 Speaker 1: I was talking to this guy and we didn't end 1353 00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:23,720 Speaker 1: up having sex, but he had us scare because somebody 1354 00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:27,239 Speaker 1: that he was close to ended up getting exposed for 1355 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:29,120 Speaker 1: having herpes and. 1356 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:30,880 Speaker 2: Like it broke up his marriage. It was like a 1357 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:31,440 Speaker 2: big deal. 1358 00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,000 Speaker 1: And because he knew he was out in these streets, 1359 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,919 Speaker 1: he was like, oh, let me go get tested and 1360 00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,160 Speaker 1: he sent me like we have first started talking. He 1361 00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,080 Speaker 1: was like, I just want you know I'm good, so 1362 00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,560 Speaker 1: he said it so I could actually see and that 1363 00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,359 Speaker 1: was the first person who actually, even without asking, had 1364 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,000 Speaker 1: showed me. 1365 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:46,920 Speaker 2: His test results. And I was like, oh, wow, well 1366 00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:47,239 Speaker 2: I just. 1367 00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,280 Speaker 1: Got my PEP and got everything testy. 1368 00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:51,920 Speaker 2: Yes. 1369 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,600 Speaker 1: And I was just telling someone like I started even 1370 00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:56,560 Speaker 1: getting my blood drawn because you know, a lot of 1371 00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,239 Speaker 1: times they don't tested that every time. So I'm like, 1372 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,239 Speaker 1: go ahead and draw the blood and test her everything, 1373 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,080 Speaker 1: not just what you get in the culture from the 1374 00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:04,960 Speaker 1: vagina sample. 1375 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,600 Speaker 2: And because a lot of people forget that. 1376 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know it's funny, they won't test you 1377 00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:14,040 Speaker 3: for herpes unless you ask them, yep, because it's so 1378 00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:17,520 Speaker 3: funny because like I recently, I got my path and 1379 00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,880 Speaker 3: then I went back because I was trying to find 1380 00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:24,200 Speaker 3: somebody here and and I was asking her just about 1381 00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:26,080 Speaker 3: Steff and she was just like, you know, typically we 1382 00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:29,720 Speaker 3: don't test people unless they're having an outbreak because if not, 1383 00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:32,320 Speaker 3: it can ruin someone's it can ruin someone's day. 1384 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:34,200 Speaker 2: And she was like, yeah, we just don't test that. 1385 00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,720 Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I was like, can you just 1386 00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:38,240 Speaker 3: do my blood work because she was like, well, what 1387 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:39,680 Speaker 3: do you want to do blood work for? And I'm 1388 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:43,040 Speaker 3: just like that like that was the thing, and she said, well, 1389 00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,360 Speaker 3: we typically don't, like unless you want me to, then 1390 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:45,760 Speaker 3: I will. 1391 00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:49,160 Speaker 2: But I'm like, yeah, yeah, matter of fact, Yeah I 1392 00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:52,560 Speaker 2: still got to live. But like they they won't, Yeah, 1393 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:52,959 Speaker 2: they won't. 1394 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,960 Speaker 1: And you know what, I think, herpes is like one 1395 00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,040 Speaker 1: of the most like statistically like sony people have it. 1396 00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:03,120 Speaker 2: Yes, and that's probably even it's just the one on 1397 00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 2: the mouth. Yeah yeah, yep, it's all types of types 1398 00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:06,640 Speaker 2: of it. 1399 00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:08,840 Speaker 1: But like there are so many people that have it, 1400 00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,600 Speaker 1: and it's probably because y'all ain't testing people for it 1401 00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,800 Speaker 1: until they have outbreaks. A lot of that stuff can 1402 00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:17,080 Speaker 1: probably prevent it if like us people people are like, no, 1403 00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:18,000 Speaker 1: test me for everything. 1404 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, do the blood, don't just do the swap from 1405 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:24,880 Speaker 3: the past. Yeah, that's the real thing is never had 1406 00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,960 Speaker 3: a pregnancy scare. I've been on birth control for like 1407 00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,560 Speaker 3: twenty years. Not on it now because I'm like I'm 1408 00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,320 Speaker 3: older now, I'm like I want to just see what 1409 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,640 Speaker 3: I need because I remember I went to a fertility 1410 00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:34,640 Speaker 3: doctor and I was like, I need to know what 1411 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:35,240 Speaker 3: these eggs doing. 1412 00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:36,600 Speaker 2: She's like, you ain't got nothing. You've been on birth 1413 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,960 Speaker 2: control all this time. What She's like, you have to 1414 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,480 Speaker 2: be off of it for a time for your body 1415 00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,120 Speaker 2: to actually produce that. I did not know that. 1416 00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,560 Speaker 1: I was today years old to know that, like Birke 1417 00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:48,920 Speaker 1: controls stopped the eggs. 1418 00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:49,240 Speaker 2: Yes. 1419 00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:51,920 Speaker 3: She was like, so you won't know until like so 1420 00:58:52,040 --> 00:58:54,480 Speaker 3: I only had Yeah. So she was like, it suppresses 1421 00:58:54,520 --> 00:58:56,920 Speaker 3: you from ovulating, so like you won't have eggs. 1422 00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,160 Speaker 2: I was like what. So she was like, get off 1423 00:58:59,200 --> 00:58:59,520 Speaker 2: the pill. 1424 00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,920 Speaker 3: How your body does in a couple of months, and 1425 00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,400 Speaker 3: then go see a fertility doctor and just check your count. 1426 00:59:04,720 --> 00:59:07,240 Speaker 3: And then once you do at your age, they try 1427 00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:09,000 Speaker 3: to make it seem like it's high risk. I see 1428 00:59:09,040 --> 00:59:11,760 Speaker 3: people getting pregnant at forty years old. Yeah, don't don't 1429 00:59:11,760 --> 00:59:15,800 Speaker 3: play with me. And they're like, because I'm considered high 1430 00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:19,200 Speaker 3: risk now because I'm in my thirties, that I need 1431 00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:19,960 Speaker 3: to freeze them. 1432 00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:23,320 Speaker 2: Yep, yep, I'm at that place. It's so expensive. 1433 00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:26,200 Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends that have a year, yeah, 1434 00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:28,560 Speaker 1: for just to rent the space to store the eggs, 1435 00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,960 Speaker 1: and that doesn't it's like twenty or thirty thousand to 1436 00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,640 Speaker 1: do the whole process, and then you have to pay 1437 00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:34,880 Speaker 1: rent for the eggs. 1438 00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:40,080 Speaker 2: I gotta pay rent. I gotta pay rented for the 1439 00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:43,120 Speaker 2: future children. Yes, child, Nope, it's a real thing. 1440 00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,040 Speaker 1: It's a real thing, and that's something I'm going through 1441 00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:49,120 Speaker 1: as well, just as I just turned forty and not 1442 00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:51,640 Speaker 1: being in a relationship one like, is that stilling the 1443 00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:52,200 Speaker 1: cars for me? 1444 00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:56,320 Speaker 2: Can I even still have children? Are you on the pill? No? 1445 00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,360 Speaker 2: But I haven't six either? 1446 00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,120 Speaker 1: You someone post for Yeah, he was like yea, like 1447 01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:05,640 Speaker 1: I'm d D and then ask it to I have, Yeah. 1448 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,680 Speaker 2: It's a drought. No, I'm not having six, So like 1449 01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,000 Speaker 2: we'll go see for till Yeah. 1450 01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:13,080 Speaker 1: I did get my levels checked. The hormone level that 1451 01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,560 Speaker 1: lets you know if you're still like producing eggs at 1452 01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:17,280 Speaker 1: a high rate, and there it's very high for. 1453 01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,560 Speaker 2: Our eight from our age. Really where'd you go? 1454 01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,720 Speaker 1: Actually, my I go to the Healthy Woman that's where 1455 01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:26,520 Speaker 1: my doctor is, and she she checked at all the 1456 01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:28,240 Speaker 1: levels because I was wanting to know before I went 1457 01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:29,560 Speaker 1: to a fertility doctor. I was like, can you just 1458 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:30,440 Speaker 1: is there something that you can do? 1459 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,520 Speaker 2: So there's oh, there's levels to it. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, 1460 01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:35,760 Speaker 2: so that was included in my past. 1461 01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:37,440 Speaker 1: She did that when I did my path and I 1462 01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:39,600 Speaker 1: checked for like fibroids and all that stuff. 1463 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, fibroids. Yeah, I have one, she said. 1464 01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,960 Speaker 3: It's just She's like, honestly, it's it's it's just it's 1465 01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:46,680 Speaker 3: She's like, it's so small. 1466 01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:48,520 Speaker 2: I wouldn't even worried about worry about it. 1467 01:00:48,560 --> 01:00:50,800 Speaker 3: But it's just like because she was doing my path 1468 01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:52,320 Speaker 3: and she was like, I think I let me give 1469 01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,080 Speaker 3: your ultrasound and I was like, then she showed it 1470 01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,200 Speaker 3: to me and was so tiny, and she's like I'm thinking, like, 1471 01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:57,280 Speaker 3: how did you feel that? 1472 01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you're trained to do that, yeah, you 1473 01:00:59,200 --> 01:00:59,400 Speaker 2: know what. 1474 01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:04,280 Speaker 3: But no, never been pregnant before, never had any real 1475 01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:07,640 Speaker 3: scares outside of like the first time experiencing BB. 1476 01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:12,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought listen. That was during that 1477 01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,360 Speaker 1: phase where like it's too many. 1478 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:20,000 Speaker 3: Yes people when your pH gets thrown off, Like I 1479 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,640 Speaker 3: was like, oh my gosh, what do I do? 1480 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:23,800 Speaker 2: I don't know. I can't tell my mom. So my 1481 01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:27,120 Speaker 2: oldest sister took me to planned parents. One time. 1482 01:01:27,160 --> 01:01:30,520 Speaker 3: I was playing with that whipped cream girl and that 1483 01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:34,040 Speaker 3: whip cream and that bacteria did not sit because I 1484 01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:38,160 Speaker 3: was like, if you've never had BB, which is bacteria vaginosis, 1485 01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:45,320 Speaker 3: it is like it's it's sinse, yeah, it's and you'll 1486 01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:48,800 Speaker 3: be like internal, like because I'm the type of person 1487 01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:51,280 Speaker 3: like I always smell my panties when I peek, you know, 1488 01:01:51,760 --> 01:01:54,160 Speaker 3: and like I always you know, so I remember, it's 1489 01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:56,280 Speaker 3: just like it's strong. 1490 01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:57,280 Speaker 2: And the longer you wait. 1491 01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:00,840 Speaker 3: You remember going to a planned parenthood and then they 1492 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,320 Speaker 3: you know, I ended up being a. 1493 01:02:02,320 --> 01:02:04,080 Speaker 2: BB and I was just like, what is that? Am 1494 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:04,800 Speaker 2: I gonna die? 1495 01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,400 Speaker 3: He's like, no, girl, yeah, bacteria, infection, your pH is 1496 01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:11,200 Speaker 3: all here. Here, take these feels your yeah, And I 1497 01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:14,560 Speaker 3: was just like what but yeah, just not being educated 1498 01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,320 Speaker 3: to know like what these things mean, like different symptoms. 1499 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,440 Speaker 2: Like I remember for my first time having a UTI, 1500 01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:21,000 Speaker 2: I'm like. 1501 01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:23,360 Speaker 1: I've never experienced that with my I know a lot 1502 01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,240 Speaker 1: of friends have had UTIs, and I'm like, I don't 1503 01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:26,920 Speaker 1: never want that because it sounds so painful. 1504 01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:27,840 Speaker 2: Oh, it's so painful. 1505 01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:29,560 Speaker 3: It was to the point where it's like I was 1506 01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,560 Speaker 3: paying like every ten seconds. At this point, I put 1507 01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:33,320 Speaker 3: on an overnight pad. I said, I'm not playing with shies. 1508 01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:36,720 Speaker 3: Then I was just I was just pissing and. 1509 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,680 Speaker 2: Going I had things to do. You think I'm gonna 1510 01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:39,040 Speaker 2: stop and. 1511 01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,800 Speaker 3: Go pee every time I got this overnight pad on, 1512 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:41,760 Speaker 3: I'm just gonna piss. 1513 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,080 Speaker 2: These little three drops and get on with my mans. 1514 01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:46,560 Speaker 2: I got things to do. I can't keep I can't 1515 01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:47,160 Speaker 2: keep going. 1516 01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:50,160 Speaker 3: Oh but I will tell you for all my homeopathic people, 1517 01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:53,160 Speaker 3: apple side of vinegar, apple side of vinegar. Put it 1518 01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,959 Speaker 3: in water. That will like that'll help you pee more, 1519 01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:59,160 Speaker 3: and azo pills. Because I was like I need anything. 1520 01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,160 Speaker 3: Was Thanksgiving, I was like, I had that diaper wrong, girl. 1521 01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:06,280 Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I got I gotta cook. Excuse 1522 01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,120 Speaker 3: myself to the bathroom. 1523 01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:09,960 Speaker 2: Wash my hands on. My hands are wrong making chicken. 1524 01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,040 Speaker 3: It's too much going on. I had a diaper wrong, girl. 1525 01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:17,680 Speaker 3: I'm not playing with you today. You I'm not going 1526 01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:19,200 Speaker 3: to for these three drives, right. 1527 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:23,720 Speaker 2: Diaper is true? 1528 01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:27,400 Speaker 3: But it's like and then women should know their bodies too, 1529 01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:32,040 Speaker 3: like know what like you know, like just that like 1530 01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,240 Speaker 3: you're peeing frequently or whatever and it's coming. 1531 01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:35,640 Speaker 2: What does it look like? Is it clear? Is it's 1532 01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:37,640 Speaker 2: super yellow? Like the color all those. 1533 01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,800 Speaker 3: Things even like down to like your discharge, like the 1534 01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,800 Speaker 3: texture of it and the color, the color, the smell, 1535 01:03:43,960 --> 01:03:45,800 Speaker 3: like knowing what all that stuff means? 1536 01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:48,560 Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Because I know that like. 1537 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:52,160 Speaker 3: Different people are like have different textures you know what 1538 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:56,280 Speaker 3: I'm saying. When I got my pepsmear, I'm asking her, 1539 01:03:56,320 --> 01:03:57,320 Speaker 3: I'm like, is everything cool? 1540 01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,920 Speaker 2: She was like she was like talking about my texture. 1541 01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:04,640 Speaker 3: She was like she was like, yep, nice and milky, yeah, 1542 01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:07,680 Speaker 3: nice healthy vagina. I was just like and I was like, 1543 01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,400 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, thinking about all the times I was 1544 01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:10,680 Speaker 3: called me Marie. 1545 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:16,040 Speaker 2: And I like, oh gosh, freaking ice cream trucks. 1546 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,520 Speaker 3: But yeah, but like you know, just knowing like like 1547 01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,920 Speaker 3: there's different shades of normal. Yes, you know what I mean, 1548 01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,440 Speaker 3: Like you're gonna be like this, and like you're like this. 1549 01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:30,960 Speaker 3: And then also having like girlfriends to talk to. And 1550 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,000 Speaker 3: I remember like I've always had like a space of girlfriends, 1551 01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:37,720 Speaker 3: so we always talked about like pH and SAgs and 1552 01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:39,800 Speaker 3: vaginas and what they looked like. 1553 01:04:39,920 --> 01:04:43,320 Speaker 2: I remember being I was a cheerleader, like all of. 1554 01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:47,680 Speaker 3: All of the girls was bottom bottom down, like showing 1555 01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,840 Speaker 3: everyone was showing their privates, like not in a like 1556 01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:51,920 Speaker 3: kind of way. We were just like, oh, this is 1557 01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:53,960 Speaker 3: how mine looks like, this is what I looks like, Oh, 1558 01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:56,400 Speaker 3: yours looks like mine, And like everybody was just like 1559 01:04:56,760 --> 01:05:02,240 Speaker 3: we weren't taught, like Okay, there's so many different variations 1560 01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:08,080 Speaker 3: of yes about Volva, you know, yes, and it's like 1561 01:05:08,160 --> 01:05:11,680 Speaker 3: they all kind of look different but it's the same 1562 01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:14,400 Speaker 3: but not. And you know, and I remember like it 1563 01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:16,080 Speaker 3: was like sixteen of us on the squad and it 1564 01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:16,640 Speaker 3: was like. 1565 01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:19,440 Speaker 2: Sixteen different ones. Yep, you know what I mean. And 1566 01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:20,480 Speaker 2: that's another thing. 1567 01:05:20,520 --> 01:05:23,360 Speaker 3: And I think that it's so funny because like men, 1568 01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:27,000 Speaker 3: I remember I was doing interviews on like Southeast this 1569 01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,000 Speaker 3: forever ago, and I had like a little flip camera 1570 01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:31,360 Speaker 3: and I was interviewing someone and it's like, you know, 1571 01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:32,120 Speaker 3: like there's. 1572 01:05:31,920 --> 01:05:33,880 Speaker 2: Like the innier audi whatever. Right. 1573 01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:37,040 Speaker 3: I remember asking someone I was like, any your audi 1574 01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:38,880 Speaker 3: and he was like any And I was like why 1575 01:05:38,960 --> 01:05:41,080 Speaker 3: and he was like, because if you the audi, it 1576 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,920 Speaker 3: just makes you feel like they've just they've had a 1577 01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,240 Speaker 3: lot of session and it's been ran through. And I'm 1578 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,240 Speaker 3: just like, that's not what that means. 1579 01:05:48,720 --> 01:05:50,840 Speaker 2: Like look at porn Star. That's what I was about 1580 01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,080 Speaker 2: to say. Now I didn't seen some raggedy looking vagina. 1581 01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,680 Speaker 2: I raged. I'm like, is that because you had a 1582 01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:01,960 Speaker 2: baby or is that too much? Su ran through its? 1583 01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,400 Speaker 3: So some of them some of them are just raggedy, 1584 01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,920 Speaker 3: Like thank you, I don't want to call them raggedy. 1585 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:12,840 Speaker 2: Some of the things I'd be like, I can't like 1586 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:14,480 Speaker 2: next different video. 1587 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:16,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean like there's there's different variations that 1588 01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:19,520 Speaker 3: I can only imagine. With man at least, you know, 1589 01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:23,680 Speaker 3: some guys are like they're not even looking at it as. 1590 01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,600 Speaker 2: Long as it feels good. Yeah, they're not looking at it. 1591 01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:27,040 Speaker 2: It's like, I'm not like the man. 1592 01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,200 Speaker 3: Like, a lot of men are not going down on 1593 01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,840 Speaker 3: every girl that they have, so they don't even. 1594 01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:34,960 Speaker 2: Know what one really looks like in a relationship. 1595 01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:37,360 Speaker 3: All of them look like yeah, but it's like and 1596 01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:40,080 Speaker 3: you hit it from you don't even see it, and 1597 01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:43,480 Speaker 3: then you see one that's different, You're just like, wait 1598 01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:43,840 Speaker 3: a minute. 1599 01:06:44,160 --> 01:06:46,000 Speaker 2: It's like you're like, hold on, but I mean. 1600 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:49,000 Speaker 1: That's just that's just And that's the same thing with Dix, 1601 01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:50,240 Speaker 1: Like they're all different. 1602 01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:52,040 Speaker 2: You think everything is all different. 1603 01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:55,880 Speaker 1: If everybody had the same everything, that's a very boring world. 1604 01:06:56,400 --> 01:07:02,480 Speaker 2: That's true. They are different or story. So there's some 1605 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:08,440 Speaker 2: raggedy ones too, ma'am. Some ragged rag balls. Long one, Oh. 1606 01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:14,720 Speaker 3: My gosh, you got two heavy rocks and the pillow 1607 01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:15,160 Speaker 3: case and. 1608 01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,120 Speaker 2: Let me not. We love y'all. We I don't want 1609 01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:20,440 Speaker 2: to dog you out, So. 1610 01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:23,560 Speaker 1: Let's talk about let's give them some advice on how 1611 01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:25,640 Speaker 1: to be better sexual partners. 1612 01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,160 Speaker 2: With the men. 1613 01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:31,720 Speaker 1: Start with I feel like men have attention when you're 1614 01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:35,360 Speaker 1: doing things to your woman's reaction, because a lot of times, 1615 01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,640 Speaker 1: like when you're doing things the way I react, you 1616 01:07:37,680 --> 01:07:40,360 Speaker 1: know what, that's a lot because sometimes I'll be thinking. 1617 01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:44,040 Speaker 2: That's a real thing. Making it is a real thing. 1618 01:07:44,120 --> 01:07:45,640 Speaker 3: So I don't know, when you get to the point 1619 01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:47,400 Speaker 3: where you stop, it's like, you know what, you're just 1620 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:50,680 Speaker 3: not doing it, get out, get up. 1621 01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:55,120 Speaker 1: But there are women that can may be honestly like hey, babe, 1622 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:57,240 Speaker 1: like or try to they push in your head one 1623 01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:58,000 Speaker 1: way or like do. 1624 01:07:58,000 --> 01:08:00,840 Speaker 2: It like this or right here, listen and take direction. 1625 01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:03,280 Speaker 2: Like that's a good tip. What do you think? 1626 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:05,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it is, And I think that it's not 1627 01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,200 Speaker 3: what you say is how you say it. You're not 1628 01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,720 Speaker 3: like right, damn, damn, you're just like. 1629 01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:13,000 Speaker 2: If you're doing it in the mom moan on here. 1630 01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:16,360 Speaker 3: But if you're doing it in the moment, then like 1631 01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:20,600 Speaker 3: it becomes like sexy. But yeah, definitely paying attention to 1632 01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:24,519 Speaker 3: the body and and and her how she reacts, not 1633 01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:28,160 Speaker 3: even just how the moon sound, but what the vagina's doing, 1634 01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:31,720 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Talk, She gonna talk back, 1635 01:08:32,160 --> 01:08:34,519 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So it's like just paying 1636 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:38,000 Speaker 3: attention to those things. And then also like women I 1637 01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:40,720 Speaker 3: think take a longer time to warm up. 1638 01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:43,040 Speaker 2: A man can just have an erection and be ready 1639 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:45,880 Speaker 2: to go. Like women, you really got a revden, you do? 1640 01:08:46,200 --> 01:08:47,519 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. So spend a little bit 1641 01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:48,599 Speaker 2: more time with play. 1642 01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:52,120 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, spend a little bit more time whatever it is, 1643 01:08:52,120 --> 01:08:57,679 Speaker 3: whether she like to kiss or get your fingerpon, whatever 1644 01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:01,080 Speaker 3: it is, like, just spend more time for play and 1645 01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,040 Speaker 3: the talking if you guys, like if you do like 1646 01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,479 Speaker 3: to talk or whatever. I saw something recently where a 1647 01:09:05,479 --> 01:09:08,519 Speaker 3: woman was like during sex, she likes to say positive 1648 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:11,880 Speaker 3: affirmations to her person. Wow, And like I've actually done 1649 01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:15,440 Speaker 3: that where we prayed together and it made the experience 1650 01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:20,080 Speaker 3: like I felt like, oh wow, like we are anointed 1651 01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:22,520 Speaker 3: and it's like she hadn't sex before marriage. 1652 01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:26,840 Speaker 2: But I know God is here, you know what I mean. 1653 01:09:28,040 --> 01:09:30,160 Speaker 2: And then women, I think. 1654 01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:33,000 Speaker 3: That you know, the mistake that I made is like 1655 01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,880 Speaker 3: trying to do all the things that the other. 1656 01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:37,120 Speaker 2: One like, you know what I mean. And it's like because. 1657 01:09:37,400 --> 01:09:40,360 Speaker 3: Different everyone is different, so each person like a new 1658 01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,599 Speaker 3: person and not like you could come with your bag 1659 01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:44,640 Speaker 3: of tricks. Yeah, and don't be surprised if all of 1660 01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:47,479 Speaker 3: them don't work. You know what I mean, there's there 1661 01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:50,280 Speaker 3: are certain things that will most likely work because I 1662 01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:51,479 Speaker 3: feel like men are pretty simple. 1663 01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:54,400 Speaker 2: But then also, don't be afraid to ask. That's what 1664 01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:55,120 Speaker 2: I was gonna say. 1665 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,240 Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to have those sex conversations, like I 1666 01:09:57,240 --> 01:09:58,559 Speaker 1: feel like that's how you really get to know the 1667 01:09:58,560 --> 01:09:59,840 Speaker 1: person likes be FREEDMI like, so what. 1668 01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:01,519 Speaker 2: Do you like? Yeah? You like it was like each 1669 01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:05,559 Speaker 2: booty or but do you not like it? But damn 1670 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:11,720 Speaker 2: you like I'm supposed to say, I think it takes it. 1671 01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:13,320 Speaker 3: It takes more of an edge off if you're asking 1672 01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,320 Speaker 3: in the moment where it's it's like you don't have 1673 01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:16,720 Speaker 3: to say tell me what to do. 1674 01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:18,439 Speaker 2: You could just be like, I want to do whatever 1675 01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:23,599 Speaker 2: you want me to do. Y jes z, I want whatever. 1676 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:27,720 Speaker 3: You can have your way, like what like whatever that 1677 01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:29,439 Speaker 3: that talk is, they'll tell you. 1678 01:10:29,479 --> 01:10:31,320 Speaker 2: And if they start pushing your head past the gooch 1679 01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:34,439 Speaker 2: he wants booty, that's you answer right down. He can't 1680 01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:36,240 Speaker 2: tell you when you asked him on the day. He 1681 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:40,200 Speaker 2: told you. 1682 01:10:38,479 --> 01:10:41,599 Speaker 3: Seriously, like some people get uncomfortable, but like when you're 1683 01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:45,200 Speaker 3: like in that moment I'm around, it's like. 1684 01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:47,479 Speaker 2: Pushing down, keep going. Yeah, okay. 1685 01:10:47,680 --> 01:10:49,599 Speaker 3: Like Dion Cole, he was like, I don't tell women 1686 01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:51,040 Speaker 3: when their head is bad. He was like, I'll just 1687 01:10:51,040 --> 01:10:54,320 Speaker 3: plug their nose and that don't make them. 1688 01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:58,519 Speaker 2: Stop because they can't breathe. I'm done. 1689 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:03,479 Speaker 3: He's like, it's just good, just like no I'll scream. 1690 01:11:03,720 --> 01:11:09,080 Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, it's as good. Oh my gosh, Jesse, 1691 01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:12,000 Speaker 2: I really enjoyed you. This has been a great conversation. 1692 01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:15,000 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I'm so happy we did this. We're 1693 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,639 Speaker 1: gonna get to one of my favorite parts of the show. 1694 01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,799 Speaker 1: It's called positive Outcomes, and this is where our listeners 1695 01:11:19,800 --> 01:11:20,880 Speaker 1: write into us and we're. 1696 01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:22,800 Speaker 2: Gonna give them an oh my god. Yeah, So this 1697 01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:24,559 Speaker 2: is gonna be fun. Y'all don't want advice from me? 1698 01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:29,360 Speaker 1: She has there all right, This one says, Hi, Crystal, 1699 01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:31,640 Speaker 1: I need some advice. I've been on and off with 1700 01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:35,160 Speaker 1: this guy since twenty sixteen. In twenty twenty one, he 1701 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:37,840 Speaker 1: moved in with me, but the whole time he was dating. 1702 01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:39,679 Speaker 2: Are you mean. 1703 01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:43,160 Speaker 1: The whole time he was dating someone else. I had 1704 01:11:43,160 --> 01:11:45,360 Speaker 1: a situation like this the whole time he was dating 1705 01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:47,920 Speaker 1: someone else. I know this because he called me her 1706 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,800 Speaker 1: name and he would run and leave the. 1707 01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:54,439 Speaker 2: Room to answer the phone. Oh girl. Some days he came. 1708 01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:56,720 Speaker 1: Into the house and we wouldn't speak. We didn't have 1709 01:11:56,760 --> 01:12:00,120 Speaker 1: a sex life. He claims it wasn't happening because he 1710 01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:02,679 Speaker 1: He claims it wasn't happening because I didn't initiate it. 1711 01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:05,120 Speaker 1: He would take food and drinks out of the house 1712 01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:07,200 Speaker 1: to the other woman's home for her to cook. 1713 01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:11,960 Speaker 2: Trifling. Oh my gosh. So I put him out and 1714 01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:12,639 Speaker 2: change the lots. 1715 01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:15,439 Speaker 1: Come to find out, through my job, I have been 1716 01:12:15,479 --> 01:12:18,000 Speaker 1: able to see he had a baby with this other woman, 1717 01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:20,519 Speaker 1: which he denies, but I saw his name on the 1718 01:12:20,600 --> 01:12:21,520 Speaker 1: birth certificate. 1719 01:12:22,479 --> 01:12:24,320 Speaker 2: Oh so you work for that? Who you work for that? 1720 01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:28,600 Speaker 1: He is now trying to come back and get a 1721 01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:30,720 Speaker 1: key to my home. I don't know what to do 1722 01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:32,720 Speaker 1: because I still do love him, but I. 1723 01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:35,160 Speaker 2: Don't want to get hurt again. What should I do? 1724 01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,240 Speaker 1: Keep them doors, them locks the same, and do not 1725 01:12:39,320 --> 01:12:40,000 Speaker 1: give him the key. 1726 01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:42,840 Speaker 2: Throw it away to your heart. And this is a 1727 01:12:43,479 --> 01:12:44,920 Speaker 2: this is a real story. 1728 01:12:44,680 --> 01:12:49,560 Speaker 3: In the lifetime movie girl, you don't know what to do. 1729 01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:52,040 Speaker 2: You know what to do? Yes, you do know what 1730 01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:53,679 Speaker 2: you do, know what to do. 1731 01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,840 Speaker 1: Run, Do not let him back in, Tell him to 1732 01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:59,200 Speaker 1: go on where he came from with the first of all, 1733 01:12:59,200 --> 01:12:59,960 Speaker 1: he sounds broke. 1734 01:13:00,520 --> 01:13:02,879 Speaker 2: It's given broke again. It's given broke. 1735 01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:06,200 Speaker 3: Dick energy and it's given broke bitch energy too from 1736 01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:08,639 Speaker 3: her both. You got to steal the soda pops from 1737 01:13:08,640 --> 01:13:10,800 Speaker 3: my fridge and bring them on down to her and 1738 01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:13,960 Speaker 3: my food, so I'm feeding you her and the baby. 1739 01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:14,280 Speaker 2: Yep. 1740 01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:17,280 Speaker 3: Now he was stealing snacks, but she was pregnant. She 1741 01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:19,040 Speaker 3: was probably already pregnant the time, and then they weren't 1742 01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,639 Speaker 3: having sex because she she was pregnant. But you living 1743 01:13:21,680 --> 01:13:23,320 Speaker 3: with me, and you know a lot of men do that. 1744 01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:26,120 Speaker 3: They'll prey on women who will let me stay there, 1745 01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:28,040 Speaker 3: and they'll stay there. They'll drop off a couple of 1746 01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:30,000 Speaker 3: scraps of dick every now and then. 1747 01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:31,080 Speaker 2: And that's what it was. 1748 01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,320 Speaker 3: Why she brought him back, just to like, you know, 1749 01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,640 Speaker 3: keep you at bab and they're still doing what they 1750 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:40,080 Speaker 3: want to do. But like I can't even tell, like, 1751 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,160 Speaker 3: oh we moved in together that I knew. 1752 01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,439 Speaker 2: She was paying the bill. Yep, because it's given. You 1753 01:13:44,479 --> 01:13:47,360 Speaker 2: moved in with me, Yep, he did, he moved in. 1754 01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:49,920 Speaker 3: It sounds like you was just a place to stay 1755 01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:54,080 Speaker 3: while he figured things out with homegirl. Listen, wish them well. Hell, 1756 01:13:54,680 --> 01:13:57,040 Speaker 3: even you can send a baby a gift. But no, 1757 01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:59,960 Speaker 3: uh uh no, we're not doing it. 1758 01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,160 Speaker 2: No, no, we're not. 1759 01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:09,280 Speaker 3: That's low frequency. That is a low vibrational relationship. Okay, 1760 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,519 Speaker 3: and we are elevating higher than that past that. 1761 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:14,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, let it go. What's his instagram? I want to 1762 01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,240 Speaker 2: see I want to see what he looked like. I 1763 01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:20,000 Speaker 2: want to see what does look like? Right, you know, 1764 01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:20,680 Speaker 2: I don't know her. 1765 01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:22,760 Speaker 3: I'm not gonna call it that, but she trifling for 1766 01:14:23,240 --> 01:14:24,959 Speaker 3: if you knew, if she knew you was doing. 1767 01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:26,920 Speaker 2: That, she knew he was in there. But you know, 1768 01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:29,080 Speaker 2: niggas live, they do may not have known. A lot 1769 01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:30,360 Speaker 2: of times, we don't even know what they're doing. 1770 01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:33,320 Speaker 3: That's that's a fact that maybe she couldn't handle the truth. 1771 01:14:34,280 --> 01:14:38,479 Speaker 2: We thought about it. Can you handle it? Right? The 1772 01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:43,360 Speaker 2: consensus is leave him alone? Yes, in roborate higher sweetheart, 1773 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:44,679 Speaker 2: Yes for sure. 1774 01:14:45,120 --> 01:14:50,519 Speaker 1: Okay, So what I'm going through versus what I'm growing through, 1775 01:14:51,240 --> 01:14:53,599 Speaker 1: and I feel like in this season in my. 1776 01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:56,679 Speaker 2: Life, I am. 1777 01:14:55,520 --> 01:15:00,040 Speaker 1: Going through a drought because I ain't getting none. But 1778 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:04,439 Speaker 1: I'm growing through understanding that in these moments, I'm learning 1779 01:15:04,479 --> 01:15:07,600 Speaker 1: so much about myself and what I like, what I 1780 01:15:07,640 --> 01:15:11,360 Speaker 1: don't like. In this season of what may look like loneliness, 1781 01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,519 Speaker 1: I'm learning so much about Crystal so that when the 1782 01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:16,960 Speaker 1: next person does come, I'm gonna be so clear on 1783 01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:17,719 Speaker 1: a lot of things. 1784 01:15:18,160 --> 01:15:20,400 Speaker 2: So that's what I'm going through. What I'm growing through 1785 01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:23,200 Speaker 2: about you, Okay, Okay. 1786 01:15:23,320 --> 01:15:26,720 Speaker 3: What I'm going through is just trying to find that 1787 01:15:26,880 --> 01:15:31,120 Speaker 3: balance between my career and my relationship because I am 1788 01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:37,080 Speaker 3: like super like I'm a stepmom, I'm a girlfriend, like 1789 01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:40,960 Speaker 3: I'm a life partner. I'm like a helpmate, but I'm 1790 01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:44,000 Speaker 3: also a career woman. I'm also an actress, a comedian, 1791 01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:47,320 Speaker 3: a writer, like I do all the things. But I 1792 01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:54,360 Speaker 3: noticed that, like in my relationship, I feel so much 1793 01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:58,040 Speaker 3: joy when like everyone is taken care of and the 1794 01:15:58,080 --> 01:16:00,960 Speaker 3: house is clean, and the kids are fa and they're happy, 1795 01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:04,639 Speaker 3: and homework is done yes, and they baths, they did 1796 01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:07,320 Speaker 3: their baths already, and my man is happy and he 1797 01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,920 Speaker 3: ate and everybody's good, and I'm just sitting back, and 1798 01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:11,679 Speaker 3: I because I don't even sit down and eat anymore. 1799 01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:13,680 Speaker 2: I eat in the kitchens. 1800 01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:16,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I just will stand up and be in 1801 01:16:16,200 --> 01:16:18,479 Speaker 3: that corner and be like, a look at the piece 1802 01:16:18,520 --> 01:16:21,360 Speaker 3: that I've created, and it's just such a I find 1803 01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:24,679 Speaker 3: so much fulfillment in that. But also it's like, Okay, 1804 01:16:24,680 --> 01:16:27,400 Speaker 3: I'm still a boss. I'm still you know, And it's 1805 01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,599 Speaker 3: what I'm going through. Is that balance? Yes, because like 1806 01:16:30,680 --> 01:16:33,080 Speaker 3: I think that because I've always been a lover. We 1807 01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:35,360 Speaker 3: talked about my love journey. So now being in a 1808 01:16:35,400 --> 01:16:37,840 Speaker 3: space where like I get to be like this. 1809 01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:41,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm really in it. You are you know 1810 01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:41,400 Speaker 2: what I mean. 1811 01:16:41,479 --> 01:16:45,160 Speaker 3: So then it's just like, Okay, I've done the whole strong, 1812 01:16:45,200 --> 01:16:47,880 Speaker 3: independent black woman who don't need no man thing, and 1813 01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:48,639 Speaker 3: I don't. 1814 01:16:48,880 --> 01:16:49,200 Speaker 2: I'm not. 1815 01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:53,960 Speaker 1: I don't like that girl, yes yeah yeah, and it 1816 01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:54,920 Speaker 1: feels very soft. 1817 01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:57,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, it's stillk soft. 1818 01:16:58,120 --> 01:17:00,599 Speaker 3: I can see him, you know, But I like, I 1819 01:17:00,640 --> 01:17:03,120 Speaker 3: have to find that balance to do it all because 1820 01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:05,120 Speaker 3: I'll be like doing all the stuff for the kids 1821 01:17:05,160 --> 01:17:07,400 Speaker 3: and then boom, I got interviews, I got meetings, I 1822 01:17:07,439 --> 01:17:09,680 Speaker 3: got zoom calls, I got this Isnata, and then I 1823 01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:12,160 Speaker 3: find myself saying, well, I'm only free this week from 1824 01:17:12,160 --> 01:17:13,680 Speaker 3: this time to this time because I got to pick 1825 01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:15,639 Speaker 3: up babies from school and do all this, and it's 1826 01:17:15,720 --> 01:17:20,040 Speaker 3: like that balance is real and it's just really trying 1827 01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:23,280 Speaker 3: to learn that dance, especially now that like I'm touring now. 1828 01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:26,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm only visiting a couple of cities because 1829 01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:28,599 Speaker 3: you know, film life and all that stuff. So I'm 1830 01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:33,439 Speaker 3: just okay, right, So it's like, but how do I 1831 01:17:33,439 --> 01:17:35,679 Speaker 3: I think what I'm going through is like I always 1832 01:17:35,800 --> 01:17:39,479 Speaker 3: I find it very hard to like treat myself as 1833 01:17:39,479 --> 01:17:40,719 Speaker 3: good as I treat other people. 1834 01:17:41,720 --> 01:17:44,360 Speaker 2: And it's not that I don't treat myself good because baby, 1835 01:17:44,479 --> 01:17:45,960 Speaker 2: I bees at the spa. 1836 01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:50,360 Speaker 3: Okay, you don't spa, And I bees at the Sophora, 1837 01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:53,960 Speaker 3: getting myself anything that I want pertaining the beauty and 1838 01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,400 Speaker 3: hair and all the stuff that I love and I love, 1839 01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:59,120 Speaker 3: and I take my bubble baths, I do those things. 1840 01:17:59,200 --> 01:18:01,000 Speaker 2: But I be going all out. 1841 01:18:01,439 --> 01:18:07,559 Speaker 3: For everybody, yeah dude, And maybe I'm just okay with that. 1842 01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:09,519 Speaker 3: And some people are like, well, you got you better 1843 01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:11,519 Speaker 3: be doing all this and this isn't this and I'm 1844 01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:15,719 Speaker 3: just like I'm really I'm really happy, but I do 1845 01:18:15,800 --> 01:18:19,680 Speaker 3: feel like I could keep that same energy though, you 1846 01:18:19,720 --> 01:18:21,680 Speaker 3: know what I mean with the way I handle make 1847 01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:23,320 Speaker 3: sure his flights are booked and he got all his 1848 01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:26,120 Speaker 3: things that I could cross my t's and dot my 1849 01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:30,240 Speaker 3: eyes with the things that I need. I still, you know, 1850 01:18:30,320 --> 01:18:32,840 Speaker 3: I still got to get this logo made. I haven't 1851 01:18:32,920 --> 01:18:35,680 Speaker 3: caught up on that email. I still need to handle this. 1852 01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:37,760 Speaker 3: I still need to follow up with this. But let 1853 01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:38,200 Speaker 3: it be his. 1854 01:18:38,320 --> 01:18:39,720 Speaker 2: And it's funny he had to say it to me. 1855 01:18:40,120 --> 01:18:41,960 Speaker 2: He's like, baby, like you're so talented, so this like 1856 01:18:42,080 --> 01:18:44,559 Speaker 2: he really wants me to start a YouTube. So he's like, 1857 01:18:44,640 --> 01:18:47,160 Speaker 2: I'm just telling you. And he was like, and I 1858 01:18:47,200 --> 01:18:49,599 Speaker 2: know you can do it. And he's like, because if 1859 01:18:49,640 --> 01:18:51,240 Speaker 2: I asked you to and they had anything to do 1860 01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:52,240 Speaker 2: with me, you would. 1861 01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:55,599 Speaker 1: And I was like, makes you want to cry because 1862 01:18:55,720 --> 01:18:57,960 Speaker 1: women we do that. We pour into everybody around this 1863 01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:01,719 Speaker 1: and we Wow. I love how you put that, because 1864 01:19:01,760 --> 01:19:03,240 Speaker 1: if I asked you to do what you would do it? 1865 01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:03,599 Speaker 2: Wow? 1866 01:19:04,120 --> 01:19:07,519 Speaker 3: And I felt like, craph, my god, that's so true. 1867 01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:10,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, dang, I got to pull 1868 01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:12,719 Speaker 2: up for myself. I pull up for everybody else, But. 1869 01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:14,320 Speaker 3: What does that even look like? Because when I pull 1870 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:16,160 Speaker 3: up for me, like it's in a major way. I 1871 01:19:16,200 --> 01:19:17,200 Speaker 3: ain't got time. 1872 01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,240 Speaker 2: To do it. Yeah, you know what I mean. So 1873 01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:21,439 Speaker 2: it's like, what is that dance? 1874 01:19:21,560 --> 01:19:21,800 Speaker 3: Yeah? 1875 01:19:21,880 --> 01:19:25,240 Speaker 2: Maybe I talk to Kadeen sh. 1876 01:19:24,520 --> 01:19:27,920 Speaker 3: Right because she's got a lot of moving parts, but 1877 01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:30,240 Speaker 3: like what, I don't know that she has helped. 1878 01:19:30,280 --> 01:19:31,920 Speaker 2: You got to get help. That's you got to have 1879 01:19:31,960 --> 01:19:35,519 Speaker 2: a team. That's true. Yeah, that's also true. That's also true. 1880 01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:37,600 Speaker 2: I can't do it by yourself. And I think the 1881 01:19:37,680 --> 01:19:39,599 Speaker 2: thing is it's like if I see that I. 1882 01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:42,479 Speaker 3: Can, I will, you know, and if people come in 1883 01:19:42,520 --> 01:19:44,000 Speaker 3: and help, thank you so much. 1884 01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:46,360 Speaker 2: But I was gonna do this my period, you know 1885 01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:49,160 Speaker 2: what I mean. And I have to do better with 1886 01:19:49,280 --> 01:19:50,960 Speaker 2: like delegating help. 1887 01:19:51,080 --> 01:19:54,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, delegating and not having to I don't have to 1888 01:19:54,280 --> 01:19:55,240 Speaker 3: say yes all the time. 1889 01:19:55,479 --> 01:19:57,360 Speaker 2: If I can do it, do it, yep. But if 1890 01:19:57,400 --> 01:20:00,840 Speaker 2: I can't, I'm sorry. I I really can't even well, 1891 01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:03,640 Speaker 2: thank you for doing this. Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank 1892 01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:06,080 Speaker 2: you for coming over. Oh yeah, because I know you're 1893 01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:10,840 Speaker 2: so busy out of town. Okay, and he was here, No, no, no, 1894 01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:14,720 Speaker 2: I I just adore you. But so I guess what 1895 01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:17,320 Speaker 2: I'm going through is what I'm growing yeah, I love that. 1896 01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:21,439 Speaker 2: That's good. Still trying to learn that. Damn yeah, I 1897 01:20:21,479 --> 01:20:24,839 Speaker 2: love that. So let's do keep it blank sweet. 1898 01:20:25,960 --> 01:20:29,639 Speaker 1: Pertaining to this episode, Who's touched on so many things, 1899 01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:32,479 Speaker 1: I go first, you can go first. 1900 01:20:32,520 --> 01:20:36,720 Speaker 2: I'm still because I'm thinking, keep it real, sweetie. 1901 01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:40,920 Speaker 3: Stop lying yes, trying to suppress who you really are, 1902 01:20:41,280 --> 01:20:45,280 Speaker 3: to to to stroke somebody's ego, is not you, because 1903 01:20:45,360 --> 01:20:47,680 Speaker 3: sooner or later you're gonna find out you're like a 1904 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:54,920 Speaker 3: finger in your butt, you know, So just be honest 1905 01:20:54,920 --> 01:20:57,040 Speaker 3: about who you are, and the ones that are worth 1906 01:20:57,240 --> 01:21:00,160 Speaker 3: while will stay and the ones and the one does 1907 01:21:00,200 --> 01:21:02,960 Speaker 3: that aren't will get out the way early and regardless 1908 01:21:02,960 --> 01:21:04,560 Speaker 3: if it's the one that you think is supposed to 1909 01:21:04,600 --> 01:21:08,080 Speaker 3: be there, not if they can't like, because then the 1910 01:21:08,120 --> 01:21:09,519 Speaker 3: whole relationship will be alive. 1911 01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:12,439 Speaker 2: And you never want to base your relationship on a lie. 1912 01:21:12,479 --> 01:21:15,200 Speaker 3: You want your foundation to always be honesty and truthful 1913 01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:16,920 Speaker 3: in realness and authenticity. 1914 01:21:17,120 --> 01:21:19,400 Speaker 2: So keep it real, Keep it real. 1915 01:21:19,560 --> 01:21:22,439 Speaker 1: Oh that's hard on the top because the thing that 1916 01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,479 Speaker 1: that was my takeaway from this is like, just keep 1917 01:21:24,479 --> 01:21:28,000 Speaker 1: it honest because the right person's gonna be okay with everything. 1918 01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:39,760 Speaker 2: Keep it m Trying to see how I can put 1919 01:21:39,760 --> 01:21:40,959 Speaker 2: this in one word. 1920 01:21:43,040 --> 01:21:45,960 Speaker 1: Because we talked about like looking at where you are 1921 01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:48,960 Speaker 1: now and not the past. So I guess keep it present, 1922 01:21:48,960 --> 01:21:51,240 Speaker 1: sweetly and know that like who you are now, it's 1923 01:21:51,280 --> 01:21:56,320 Speaker 1: not who you and stop harboring on the past and thinking, oh, 1924 01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:59,080 Speaker 1: I've done all these things, nobody's ever gonna love me 1925 01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:01,120 Speaker 1: and I can't be on it to someone about keep 1926 01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:03,840 Speaker 1: it real with somebody that about who I've been in 1927 01:22:03,840 --> 01:22:07,360 Speaker 1: my past and understand that everything that you've done has 1928 01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:10,559 Speaker 1: made you the beautiful being that you are today. So yeah, 1929 01:22:10,560 --> 01:22:12,600 Speaker 1: I would say, keep it present and be in the 1930 01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:13,320 Speaker 1: present moment. 1931 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:17,160 Speaker 2: I love that. I love that. Thank you so good, 1932 01:22:17,200 --> 01:22:20,120 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. I love you, I love you. 1933 01:22:20,640 --> 01:22:23,120 Speaker 2: This is good, this is really good much. 1934 01:22:22,920 --> 01:22:25,479 Speaker 1: Gosh, Oh, thank you so much, and thank you guys 1935 01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:28,800 Speaker 1: so much to keep it positive, sweetie. And if you 1936 01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:31,120 Speaker 1: want to write in, please write in to keep it 1937 01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:33,000 Speaker 1: positive sweetie at gmail dot com. 1938 01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:34,120 Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear from you. 1939 01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:34,519 Speaker 3: Guys. 1940 01:22:35,040 --> 01:22:38,640 Speaker 1: Follow me on all platforms at Love, Luv, Chris Doorine 1941 01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:40,600 Speaker 1: and Jazzy tell us where they can follow you and 1942 01:22:40,640 --> 01:22:41,160 Speaker 1: what you got going on? 1943 01:22:41,280 --> 01:22:42,200 Speaker 2: Cuse you got a lot of things. 1944 01:22:42,240 --> 01:22:43,600 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Well, I don't know when this is 1945 01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:47,000 Speaker 3: going to air, but hopefully it's before my tours. You 1946 01:22:47,040 --> 01:22:49,519 Speaker 3: can follow me I watch Jazzy and you can also 1947 01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:53,080 Speaker 3: follow me at Toya Turn Up, Toya Underscore turn Up 1948 01:22:53,479 --> 01:22:56,360 Speaker 3: and we have a little probably. 1949 01:22:56,160 --> 01:22:59,360 Speaker 2: Like six city tour we're doing. And the link is 1950 01:22:59,360 --> 01:23:01,000 Speaker 2: in my biophone to day. 1951 01:23:00,920 --> 01:23:03,679 Speaker 3: Yes, catch her on Oh, catch me on the Teams 1952 01:23:03,720 --> 01:23:09,519 Speaker 3: season one and two into a stage. Yeah, and just 1953 01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:11,840 Speaker 3: stay tuned for all the projects that I have gone. Yeah, 1954 01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:13,160 Speaker 3: a lot of great things that I can. 1955 01:23:13,240 --> 01:23:17,080 Speaker 1: Talk about right exactly, but yeah, keep eye for this 1956 01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:19,439 Speaker 1: when she is definitely want to watch. If you're not 1957 01:23:19,520 --> 01:23:21,759 Speaker 1: upon her, get up on her. She will definitely brighten 1958 01:23:21,800 --> 01:23:22,160 Speaker 1: your day. 1959 01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:22,920 Speaker 2: Follow her on. 1960 01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:25,200 Speaker 1: Instagram and we will see you next time. But in 1961 01:23:25,200 --> 01:23:26,880 Speaker 1: the meantime, you guys know what to do. 1962 01:23:27,360 --> 01:23:31,800 Speaker 2: Keep you positively, Love you guys,