1 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: Would be like, and then you should have put a 2 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: ring starting. 3 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,640 Speaker 2: So for those of you guys who don't know, well, 4 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 2: how would you know? 5 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: No one knows. 6 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 2: So Mandy got a ring a ka, she got engaged. 7 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: AKA, I know I have nothing to show for it. 8 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 2: I know she's actually like waving her ringless hand in 9 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 2: front of the mic. 10 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 1: But no, she really is engaged. Her ring is being sized. 11 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 3: Yes, let us lets people know. She's my publicist put 12 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 3: out the president. 13 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: And it was so pretty. 14 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,320 Speaker 2: So we were supposed to tape yesterday and Madie text 15 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 2: me was like I can't tape. 16 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: I was like why. She's like, it's a good reason. 17 00:00:59,200 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: I just got a game. 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 2: And I was like, so you know, I looked at 19 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 2: Superman with this extra side. I like, Mandy just got engaged. Meanwhile, Supergirl, 20 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 2: his nine year old daughter, was like, oh my god, 21 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: congratulations missus Mandy. Even though she does not know Mandy, 22 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 2: she was just equally as excited. 23 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 3: It's that womanly instinct that engagement is like some sort 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 3: of mountain you must overcome. 25 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 2: She was like stocking me like you canna call her 26 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 2: like waiting, like so I can tell her personally, I'm like, 27 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 2: just be easy. 28 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 3: I've never talked on the phone as much as I 29 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 3: did yesterday in my entire life. Yeah, I'm so excited. 30 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 3: So we got engaged. It happened Saturday night. I was 31 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 3: completely shocked. If you've known me, if you've asked me, 32 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 3: if you'd asked me to bet a million dollars, would 33 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 3: have told you it's not gonna happen for like another 34 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 3: year or two or three. But it happened on Saturday, 35 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 3: and I was like completely shocked on the control freak. 36 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 3: And so when I mean, we went to it like 37 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 3: a little jazz club to see some live music, and 38 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 3: he was totally casual. He was like, oh, let's go 39 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 3: to this jazz clubs night. It's like, you know, we're young, 40 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 3: we'll do it. He dog sat all weekend like we 41 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 3: deserve this, you know, and I was like great, awesome. 42 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 3: I drink some colle went out, and. 43 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: Something in my mind. I was like, maybe there's a 44 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 1: ring in this podcast. 45 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 3: I really yeah, but not, but I thought it at 46 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 3: the same time like no way, Like that's crazy. But 47 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 3: I kind of patted it, kind of patted it. It was 48 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 3: like nothing's in there, no box. And then like I 49 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 3: mean just it left my mind completely, had a little 50 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 3: flash of a thought and then it was gone and 51 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 3: we went. The concert was great. I mean I insisted 52 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 3: on paying for dinner. I'm like, I gotta pay for dinner. 53 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,359 Speaker 1: I gotta do it. 54 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 3: We were trying to be equitable with the finances. And 55 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 3: then we like went home, stopped at riding, had to 56 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 3: get some toilet paper. 57 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: I just thought it was another night. Yes. 58 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 3: And then we get home and he's like, put everything down. 59 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 3: I have a question to ask you. 60 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 1: Did you know then, like when did your dawn on you? 61 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 3: No? Because he was like, put everything down, and I 62 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,359 Speaker 3: was taking off my shoes at the front door and 63 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,440 Speaker 3: he's like, yeah, take your shoes off. 64 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 1: I was like, oh am, I get a foot rug. 65 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: That's awesome. 66 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 3: How much can I look the sting date night? And 67 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:52,839 Speaker 3: then he's like but then he starts backing up, which 68 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 3: was weird. Back it's backing up, and then he puts 69 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 3: his hand into his his jacket pocket. Yes, and then 70 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 3: my heart is going and it's like it's like two 71 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 3: in the morning. 72 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 1: Almost. 73 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,360 Speaker 3: We were off and we were late, and I was 74 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,679 Speaker 3: slightly tipsy, not gonna lie, had a little bit of 75 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 3: white wine and I was like, wait, wait, what what 76 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 3: is happening? This can't be happening. 77 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: Yay that I know. 78 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 3: I didn't say this can't be happening. I was like, 79 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 3: what are you doing really right now? 80 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: Really? 81 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 3: I was like kind of laughing, like I always I 82 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 3: don't know what. I guess you can kind of imagine it, 83 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 3: what that moment's going to be like. And whenever I 84 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 3: thought about it, I could make myself tear up just 85 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 3: thinking about that moment. But in the actual moment, I 86 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 3: was literally so stunned. It's like awkward. You know when 87 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: you see something terrible and you laugh because you're awkward 88 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 3: about it. Yeah, this was This was not terrible obviously, 89 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 3: So yeah, I just started laughing, kind of giggling, and 90 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 3: I was like, oh my god. And then I started 91 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,800 Speaker 3: shaking and then he he gave his feet little speech. 92 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 3: I mean, it was nothing like super elaborate. It was 93 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 3: just very simple, like very you know, very us, like 94 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,200 Speaker 3: very you know, in our apartment, in our home. But 95 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 3: the fact that he got me by surprise, I was 96 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 3: goen be nosy, control free. 97 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: I'm nosy as hell. 98 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 3: We used to share, We used to like, you know, 99 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 3: we had like a very open technology thing like if 100 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 3: our If his laptop was nearest and I need to 101 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 3: get on the internet, I would just grab it. If 102 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 3: his cell phone was nearby, I need to text somebody, 103 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 3: I'll just grab it. 104 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: You know, we just do that. 105 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 3: We trusted you too, And but like a few months ago, 106 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 3: he started being really weird about his electronics, like, don't 107 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 3: touch my laptop, you cannot use my cell phone. You 108 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: need to stop it, like getting upset with me. And 109 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, what's happening. I texted my girlfriend 110 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 3: like he's either cheating or he's going to propose. And 111 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 3: I did have an inkling that he was gonna at 112 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 3: least he was saving up for a ring, and maybe 113 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 3: he didn't want me to know, but we talked about 114 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 3: We were open. I mean, you have to be open 115 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 3: about it. Do you want to marry me? Yeah, you 116 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 3: should know that before you propose. Gentlemen, you should know that. 117 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 3: And then also like I mean the financial part of it. 118 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 3: You know, I wanted to take on more financial responsibilities 119 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 3: around the house because I wanted to leave him room 120 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 3: to save up for you know what I mean. So 121 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 3: I mean I knew that much. So it wasn't a 122 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 3: surprise me that he got touchy about it. Okay, but 123 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 3: I did not think it. 124 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,720 Speaker 1: Was going to be November fifty nine, twenty eighth. Oh god, 125 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: I don't no today. No, well, Nina, well it's Friday. 126 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 3: Technically, technically it was Saturday. It was Sunday morning, so 127 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 3: that's I think that was the twenty nine. Yeah, yeah, 128 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 3: my sister's birthday. I always remember. I guess I'll have 129 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 3: to Rema, how. 130 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: Old are you know? I'm twenty eight. 131 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 2: Oh my god, she turned twenty seven. I cannot even 132 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:17,919 Speaker 2: imagine her getting engaged. 133 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 1: I feel like you're such a bag. I can't imagine myself. Like, oh, 134 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: he's text me right now. 135 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 3: He just this is so, this is so NARCISSI. He 136 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 3: just texted with an update of how many likes her Facebook. 137 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: I was gonna ask that, did she get a lot 138 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 2: of likes? 139 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: I got? Hell, four hundred and fifty two? Wow, y'all 140 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:39,040 Speaker 1: are famous? Practically will Facebook famous? Oh? 141 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 3: I was really sweet, though, Yeah, I don't. I like 142 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 3: Sunday was such a blur. And but that's the thing, 143 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 3: like I don't feel old enough to get married. It's 144 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 3: like when we moved in together, I'm like, no one's like, 145 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,239 Speaker 3: there's no test for this, I like exam but in meanwhile, 146 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 3: like there's nothing about it, Like how old your mom 147 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 3: when she had you? She's actually twenty seven when she 148 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 3: had me, but she got married for the first time 149 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 3: when she was twenty Okay, but you have two kids 150 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 3: by twenty two. 151 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 2: I guess what I'm saying, Like, you know, our parents 152 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 2: got like you know, I think my mom was like 153 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 2: twenty three or twenty four. 154 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. Can you imagine? 155 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: No, heck no, I was just barely learning how to 156 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 2: shave my legs. 157 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 3: I'm still not good at that. 158 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 1: But yeah, it's just crazy to think, like. 159 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 3: Oh my god, we're allowed to do this coming up 160 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 3: so and then, I mean, the friends I've talked to 161 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 3: have been like, you'll get more used to it. It's 162 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 3: not going to feel real, And it really hasn't felt 163 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 3: real so far. I mean, I have the ring, but 164 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 3: I don't have it because poor Boo. He's such a 165 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 3: good guy, he is, but he decided that somehow in 166 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 3: his mind, he was like, I'll just get to the 167 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 3: same ring size that I wear, oh as a six 168 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 3: foot one gentleman, which was not the right size, like 169 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 3: it was basically it could have fit checks thinger. 170 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: Probably it was a size ten and I'm a size six. Non, well, 171 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 1: you know, I like his logic. 172 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 3: Needless to say once the diamond district. Oh, let me 173 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 3: just so, let me say this, like if you're getting 174 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,040 Speaker 3: your ring, if you live in New York anyway, I 175 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: don't know if there's a diamond district in every city. Yeah, 176 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,840 Speaker 3: but we went to a jeweler and in my neighborhood 177 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 3: in Queens and he quoted us like one hundred bucks 178 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 3: for the resizing, and I don't know. I'm like, okay, 179 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,480 Speaker 3: well that seems like a little bit for a very 180 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:08,440 Speaker 3: expensive ring. Yeah, but then I went my coworker told me, no, no, no, no, no, 181 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 3: you need to go to the diamond district. It's like 182 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 3: row upon row stall upon and stuff all up on 183 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 3: top of each other's little jewelers, like most of them 184 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 3: are Jewish. I think small businesses in New York forty 185 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: seventh Street between like fifth and sixth there's like these 186 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 3: giant I never know if there's these giant diamond like 187 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 3: pillars marking it off right before you get to write. 188 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: Now, I've never been. Yeah, you need to go. 189 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 3: It's an experience and everyone's like yelling at you come 190 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 3: in here, come in here. Do you want to sell 191 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 3: something you're gonna buy? 192 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: Like it's the holiday. 193 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 3: So they're really aggressive, okay, and she's like, no, no, 194 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 3: you need to go to my friend Irving. The place 195 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 3: is called the Wolf something wolf Bearing or you need 196 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,239 Speaker 3: to go see my friend Irving his wife raiseel. 197 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,480 Speaker 1: So I went there. That hooked me up and for 198 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 1: twenty bucks. 199 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 2: They're gonna twenty burellars to twenty bucks. 200 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,840 Speaker 3: So this is like lighting the fire for me to 201 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 3: like do an inexpensive wedding. Yeah for real, See I. 202 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: Want you to I want you to google blog about it. 203 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: I know, well you guys will, I'll share my journey 204 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: for it. 205 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 3: Right now, I'm just like I'm saying, I'm not going 206 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 3: to think about it till after January because I'm getting 207 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 3: a little anxious. 208 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: Okay. 209 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 3: My mother's asked me one too many questions. She's like, 210 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 3: how many attendant? Where's it going to be? You want 211 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 3: to be in New York, but you're from Atlanta. Don't 212 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 3: you have family there? 213 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 1: Well that very mom with her oh Loda. So I'm 214 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: just gonna get through that. I'm just want to enjoy 215 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: it and get through the holidays and then you know 216 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: what my sister did. 217 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 2: She got like one of these like books that you 218 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, tells you like first step, 219 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 2: sixond step. 220 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: She said, oh god, I need that book. 221 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll ask her please do like I'm looking at you. 222 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: So I was like, wow, tell me the way. I 223 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: do not know because she was like that too. 224 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 2: She's not she wasn't like a big planner, but she 225 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 2: was like, the book really just helped. 226 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: I just put my stuff in. It was like, okay, I. 227 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 3: Feel like so much about the wedding is just managing 228 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,679 Speaker 3: everyone's emotions outside. I need to work on my own 229 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 3: emotions first, for one thing. But like, so just yesterday 230 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 3: was stressful making sure that I told everybody the right 231 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 3: way before I posted it anywhere, because I don't you 232 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 3: hate that feeling is like, yeah, you learn from a 233 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,960 Speaker 3: friend that you thought was a friend and you're like 234 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,840 Speaker 3: they got married or had a baby on on like Instagram. 235 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 1: Oh well that's nice, the baby's twelve exactly. 236 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 3: So I made sure I went down my entire like 237 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 3: I went through my favorites. This is a quick way 238 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 3: of reading out people. I went through my favorites. I 239 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 3: on my iPhone and like called everyone personally facetimed if 240 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 3: I could make sure they could see it and like, 241 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 3: and it was really fun seeing their reactions. Plus I 242 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 3: haven't made phone calls. That's when did anybody cry? So 243 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,560 Speaker 3: my mom didn't cry, but so my my fiance. 244 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, who you said? At that part, 245 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: I was like who? 246 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 3: So he actually called my parents the day that he 247 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 3: was going to do it, And meanwhile, he hadn't really 248 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 3: had a plan. He he was just like, I was 249 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 3: just going to wait for the right event for us 250 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 3: to go to and you know, do it afterwards or something. 251 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 3: So he So that's why it felt so real when 252 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:40,319 Speaker 3: he was like, let's. 253 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: Just go to this jazz show. 254 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it wasn't like oh so that's why, because 255 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 2: you probably would have noticed if he was like feeling 256 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 2: really weird. 257 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: The control freak that I am. Oh yes, oh, today's day, 258 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: isn't it? 259 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,079 Speaker 3: If he was like wait, because he's so out of 260 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 3: character he and I he's not. I'm usually one being like, 261 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 3: let's go do this thing, and he's like, I just 262 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 3: want to watch Netflix. You So, if he had been 263 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 3: all of a sudden excited to go do an activity. Okay, 264 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 3: then you're like, this is a They were a series 265 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 3: of activities. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So I'm kind of 266 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 3: he was smart. 267 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 1: He was very skillful. 268 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 3: So he called my mom the day and my dad 269 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 3: the day of, and my mom said she cried, but 270 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 3: when I talked to her, she wasn't crying. She was 271 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 3: yelling at me because I texted her a picture before 272 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 3: I called her in person, even though I knew she 273 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 3: already knew order of things. The order of things, boy 274 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 3: was I called her right after. But anyway, moms are special. Yes, 275 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 3: so yeah, my dad, however, plus his little heart. I 276 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,160 Speaker 3: don't think my dad knows how to listen to podcasts 277 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 3: yet I have a teacher, so I'll tell you guys. 278 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: So my dad went and oops. 279 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,959 Speaker 3: When my fiance called my dad, he initially pretty much 280 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 3: like hung up on him because he could not deal. 281 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 3: And I know my dad, I'm his only daughter, and 282 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,200 Speaker 3: you know, my parents divorced when I was ten, So 283 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 3: my dad's mind, I've really been stuck as a ten 284 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 3: year old forever forever, And so I knew I wasn't mad. 285 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, don't worry, he's just in his feelings. 286 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 3: He does not know how to deal with his emotion 287 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 3: because his ten year old's getting married, he basically, and 288 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,680 Speaker 3: so he finally called me last night and he told 289 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 3: me he was up all night stressed out. 290 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: He said, I was just it was just shocked. I can't. 291 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 3: I don't know how to deal with these feelings, basically, 292 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 3: and I could hear him tearing up on when you're 293 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 3: a grown man, Yeah, you know, just. 294 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 2: Wait till your wedding. You just better have some some 295 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 2: waterproof mascot. 296 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 1: I need to like put a tranquilizer dart. 297 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 3: I don't not worried about me and worried about my 298 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 3: dad walking down that it needs to be liked. 299 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, medicated, ye, tranquilized data. That's the words, a data. 300 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: I want to start a hashtag. Congrats Mandy with an eye, 301 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: congrats Mandy. 302 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 2: Let's see who's gonna Yeah, let's see who needs a hashtag. 303 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 2: I should give away something for people who used to hashtag. Oh, 304 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 2: we'll just give you some virtual love. Just don't ask 305 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 2: me any questions. 306 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: I get stressed out. 307 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 3: I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know, 308 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 3: I don't know anything. I don't know how to do this. 309 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 3: It's my first time, so, but I'm just overwhelmed with 310 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 3: all the support. 311 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: So we started on a high note. But you know us, 312 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: we'd like turn left, Wait where are we going? Where 313 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: we're going? So Traine Awards. Oh, but honestly I like 314 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: the awards. I'm not really did you watched? You watch 315 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: the whole thing? 316 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 2: I did only because I saw such great reviews on Facebook. 317 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,960 Speaker 1: Meanwhile, We're for you on Facebook. And the way it 318 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,439 Speaker 1: works when you watch like the. 319 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 3: Twitter where I go first, really if face Twitter likes it, 320 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 3: then on over one, well. 321 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 2: You know what it is because they play them back 322 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 2: to back, so they'll play it. And then it ended 323 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: at like ten fifty five and started again at eleven. 324 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 2: So I was like, oh, I'll stay up and watch 325 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 2: because the reviews were great, and honestly I loved it. 326 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,800 Speaker 2: I didn't realize that unfortunately R Kelly performed at the end. 327 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,839 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, this is disappointing. 328 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 3: Status with R Kelly. I mean, so we all know 329 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 3: that he's a dirty pedophile. 330 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 1: Yees, so he married? I don't know. 331 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 2: Honestly, I think that his career has not obviously prospered 332 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 2: as much as it would have had he not been 333 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 2: caught doing what he was doing with young girls. So 334 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 2: if you guys are not familiar with R. Kelly, he's 335 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,120 Speaker 2: really super talented. I have to say that. You know 336 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 2: that he's believe, but not just a talented singer, you know, 337 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 2: the biggest part of Arkelly. He's a really talented like 338 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 2: songwriter and arranger and like you know, producer, yeah, producer 339 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 2: and so just a musician. And he was not convicted 340 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 2: but suspected, I guess you could say, although I don't 341 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 2: know how he's never been prosecuted, but because there's video 342 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 2: of him with underaged women, I feel like. 343 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: I was young enough when it was all happening that 344 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: I don't really remember all particular so, but there's video 345 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,760 Speaker 1: of him we have, but I have. 346 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 3: A general sense of ickiness about him. Yes, he closed 347 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 3: the show, so he yeah, so and he holds the show. 348 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 2: So there's video of him of him like urinating on 349 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,199 Speaker 2: women who were underage. And we all know for a 350 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 2: fact that he married Aliyah, who was the singer that 351 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 2: passed away. She was fourteen or fifteen at the time. 352 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 2: And I mean they, I mean they have marriage papers, 353 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 2: So that's not one of you know, that's not like, oh, 354 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 2: allegedly No, No, they got married. 355 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 356 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,560 Speaker 2: And then just so many other stories that have come 357 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 2: out about him basically raping young women. I mean raping 358 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 2: in the sense of I guess statutory rape. Yeah, I 359 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 2: haven't heard of him like again, I don't know so 360 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,640 Speaker 2: violently raping, but definitely statutory rape because you know, honestly, 361 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 2: if you're having sex with a thirteen year old, she 362 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 2: cannot give consent. She's thirteen, you know, and at least 363 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 2: not with a grown man giving consent. You know, if 364 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 2: a thirteen year old thirteen yearn are grown at it, 365 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 2: that's one thing. A thirteen year old a twenty five 366 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 2: year old that's a whole other thing. 367 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 3: So is the is the drama that he performed. People 368 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 3: say that he shouldn't have. 369 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 2: Like yeah, only because like you know, everybody's going in 370 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,800 Speaker 2: on Bill Cosby as they should. And it's like, you 371 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 2: know why because r Kelly didn't just perform he like 372 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 2: closed the sholf and it was like people in the 373 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 2: audience were like two stepping, like this man has not 374 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 2: raped young girls, and it doesn't have video out of 375 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 2: him raping and really just totally being disgusting with young girls. 376 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 2: And it's almost like, you know, I saw this article 377 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 2: then about like oh so still after all this, what 378 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 2: does it say from for black girls when they're alleged rapists? 379 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 2: Rapes are not enough. They're like, you know, black girls 380 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 2: still don't matter. Because I saw other women of color. 381 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 2: What really struck me with Rika Badu, who's like pro black, 382 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 2: pro women. 383 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: They're having a new moment right now, Erica bade. 384 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 2: Yeah she is, and so but it's like cause Erkabadou 385 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: was like, you know, like feminists strong, and then she's 386 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 2: she actually introduced R. Kelly as my brother, and I 387 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,360 Speaker 2: was like, oh so, and like I said, this is 388 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 2: not a man who were like hmmm, I'm not quite 389 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,920 Speaker 2: sure if he did it. It's like there's video he 390 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 2: married Alea when she's fourteen, and even he in his 391 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 2: and I've seen like him being interviewed and at one 392 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 2: point he said, I know I have a problem. 393 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a complicated thing. 394 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 3: We kind of talked about it with Bill Cosby before 395 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 3: and I mentioned like, so I have I mean, I've 396 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 3: known people personally who have had issues like this, you know, 397 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 3: with younger women, and have done some really not great things. 398 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 3: But I can almost I'm staying from both sides here. 399 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 3: I'm like playing two sides here at the same time. 400 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 3: Like when it is someone who you consider a brother, 401 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 3: I know they're not blood really, but if it's someone 402 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 3: you've known your whole life and they've done this thing, 403 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 3: it's really hard to find a way. It takes a 404 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,960 Speaker 3: long time to figure out how to like separate yourself 405 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 3: from that, not separated, but like figure out a way 406 00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 3: to live in both spaces, Like, yes, they did this 407 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 3: horrible thing, Yes it's okay that I still feel like 408 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 3: a love for them, and then how do you marry 409 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 3: them together? 410 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 1: It's just awkward ones on a public stage. That's what 411 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 1: I guess. 412 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: That's what was bobbling, Like, okay, Ka bade if that's 413 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 2: your brother. But I'm like, really, Bet, like of all 414 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 2: the artists you could have had, you know, it's not 415 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 2: like R Kelly is like you know, some brand new 416 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 2: artists or like Beyonce that can't be ignored, even though 417 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 2: that wouldn't be excusable then, but it's like you had 418 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 2: to dig up R Kelly. 419 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 3: Do you think that's like just for the wow factor, 420 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 3: for the would be controversial. 421 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 422 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 2: It just really bothered me to see like Janelle Monet, 423 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 2: ty Reese, all these people too stepping like. 424 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: Yes, go ahead, rapist, Yes, do your thing. Because especially, 425 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 1: you know what really bothers me about R. 426 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 2: Kelly because there are sometimes you know, like like I've 427 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,640 Speaker 2: known people who are like, oh, eighteen, their girlfriend was fourteen. 428 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: Probably not the most appropriate, but whatever. But this is 429 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 2: a man who was allegedly I'll put in air quotes 430 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 2: like literally going to high schools. He was a predator 431 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 2: looking for young women, you know what I mean, that's 432 00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 2: the part, and looking specifically for young women whose backgrounds 433 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 2: would allow him to take advantage of them, like we 434 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 2: very much like Bill Cosby, Yes, you know, like women 435 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 2: like young women like and from neighborhoods who you know, 436 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 2: there was no money or would be easily like like 437 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,880 Speaker 2: wowed by a man like him, you know what I mean. 438 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 2: So like and so that's it almost sicker. Yeah, it does, 439 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 2: of course, because that's what I'm saying. He was a predator. 440 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 2: This is not just some guy who was like, oh, 441 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,959 Speaker 2: I happen to love my girlfriend and I'm eighteen, she's fourteen. 442 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: We're just trying to make it work. 443 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 2: No, this is a sexual predator, and for him to 444 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 2: be celebrated still, Like honestly, when his music come on 445 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: comes on on the radio, like I always tell Superman 446 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:30,640 Speaker 2: intended off. 447 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 3: I think he'll probably go through now a similar maybe 448 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 3: not as bad as Bill Cosby. 449 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 1: And I'm not sure why. 450 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,399 Speaker 3: Maybe it's because Bill Cosby's accusers it was so far 451 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 3: after the fact they all came forward and they're all 452 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 3: much older. Maybe are Kelly's victims. It's just they're not 453 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 3: ready to come forward in the same public way. I mean, 454 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 3: it sucks that it took like forty women to come 455 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 3: forward in their magazine cover to get people to, you know, 456 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 3: care about the Bill Cosby situation. But I mean the 457 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 3: public is when we make up our mind about an 458 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 3: icon like R Kelly. You know, was meant so much 459 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 3: for R and B music, you know, coju met so 460 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 3: much for comedy and television. Like it's really hard, like 461 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 3: you have to show us the evidence, yea, Like the 462 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,119 Speaker 3: burden of proof is totally on the victim. 463 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 2: Also too, R Kelly happened right before the huge social media. 464 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: Way, Yeah, totally, you know what I mean. 465 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 2: So it's like I think if it would have happened 466 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 2: like Bill Cosby, I think one of the reasons why 467 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 2: people are so much more up in arms is because. 468 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: Social media really took that and like ran with it. 469 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,159 Speaker 2: But R Kelly like escaped that almost because to me, like, 470 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 2: you know, what he did was even more obvious. There's video, 471 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 2: but it was before all that, before people could, before 472 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 2: black Twitter could really take a hold and like fully 473 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 2: drag him. 474 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:35,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. 475 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 2: I was just kind of disappointed and I was just like, well, 476 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 2: and I know they were. 477 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: I mean honestly, I like the social training. Like I 478 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: didn't watch his part. 479 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,840 Speaker 3: I was like, wow, cable. I don't have cable, so 480 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah, so I watched the clips. So 481 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 3: the baby face that was amazing. 482 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: That was amazing. When they had Brandy come out, I. 483 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,719 Speaker 3: Was like, yeah, I feel so much real emotion when 484 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 3: I get sitting up in my room, like literally I'm trying. 485 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 3: I'm like four feet tall, yeah, and like little chubbing 486 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 3: girl in my room like dream daydreaming. 487 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: Oh. She was so good. Her voice is so good. 488 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,439 Speaker 1: I want her to go on tour. You know what 489 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: it is about brand because Brandy and I like the 490 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:06,280 Speaker 1: same age. 491 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 2: So I'm thirty six, and I think when Brandy came out, 492 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 2: she was fourteen, and I was fourteen when she came out. 493 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 2: I know, so I like grew up like that first 494 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 2: album of her, like sitting on the front cover. Her 495 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,639 Speaker 2: music was so inche appropriate. I could play it in 496 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:17,399 Speaker 2: front of my parents. 497 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: It was just so ahesha la oh to the we played, Oh. 498 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 3: The night I got engaged on the platform. It took 499 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 3: so long for the train. We played like all the 500 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 3: great nineties TV things, family matters, ohow, step by step, 501 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 3: Growing Pains, Boesha, sister sister, what is the sister? 502 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,880 Speaker 1: Kevin knew how much and are doing like the neck wave. 503 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: I don't even know why, but we're both. 504 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 3: I met and they did the grown up version, sister sister, 505 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 3: Oh my god, you even need to go back. Oh, 506 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 3: oh my god, I know not as good as it was. Well, 507 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 3: you know what someone said, TV's never been as because 508 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 3: it wasn't. It wasn't the night it was. 509 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 2: Very black right because think about Martin was it like 510 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 2: its all time high? 511 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: Like you're right, fairly matters hanging with mister Cooper. 512 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 3: I used to love that girlfriend someone's girlfriends. 513 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: But it was very very remember because you remember, you 514 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 2: know why up and nine remember and t G I 515 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 2: f Yeah, T J was veriable, g G I Oh, 516 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,400 Speaker 2: and they're all like, huh. 517 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: Now we sound like old people. You know how people 518 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: always say, like, you don't know, y'all don't have good music. 519 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: One day, these young people are gonna be telling their 520 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 2: grandkids Daddy. 521 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: Wop's classic Oh God Baby, but no. 522 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, TV is changing, you know, Speaking of TV, there's 523 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 3: a new Dominican the very first Dominican focused TV show. 524 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 3: Shout out to my new Dominican family. 525 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: Really yeah, what is it called. It's gonna be called 526 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: La V L A D D. 527 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 3: And I guess that's the name of the guy who's 528 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 3: it's like a comedian, kind of like Louis c K 529 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 3: made his own show, run his own wife. It's gonna 530 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,640 Speaker 3: be like about the Dominican family in the Bronx, which 531 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:57,639 Speaker 3: is I'm excited to watch it. 532 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: I'll get to understand my boyfriends, oh for my fiance. 533 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,639 Speaker 1: What else you want to talk about for Buzzworthy? Do 534 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: you want to talk about buying black? 535 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 2: That's like the huge new wave I've been seeing I 536 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: guess most of my friends on social. 537 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: Media the holidays. Yeah, yeah, we can talk about that. 538 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 3: I mean, like just generally, you know, for me and 539 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 3: one of my friends was I debated my friends about 540 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,679 Speaker 3: this one time. It's like, do you feel pressure to 541 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 3: buy from black owned businesses or you know, do you 542 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 3: feel like you should have freedom to buy wherever you 543 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 3: want to buy from? Did you feel guilty for like 544 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,680 Speaker 3: not buying from a black owned business? 545 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 2: Right, There's actually a woman who was banned on Facebook 546 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 2: because and actually I knew her. 547 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: I was like, she looks familiar. She did this interview 548 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: with doctor Boyce Watkins. 549 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 2: And she created like some like booklet for buying black 550 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 2: or something. And anyway, she created like like just like 551 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 2: a Facebook post about like, you know, buying black, try 552 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,440 Speaker 2: to buy black this week or whatever. And Facebook, I guess, 553 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 2: I don't know if somebody reported as being racist or whatever. 554 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: That's been going on forever. 555 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,880 Speaker 3: I know there's literally like black business phone books and 556 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 3: like online buying guides. Yeah, but I don't know why, 557 00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 3: but these three pamphlets you hand out. 558 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 2: She was banned because Facebook themeed it, I guess, for 559 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:07,160 Speaker 2: lack of a better word, racist, for discriminatory, Yeah, discriminatory, 560 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,639 Speaker 2: I'll say that, but yeah, I just thought that was 561 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:09,119 Speaker 2: really strange. 562 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, Okay. 563 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 3: I think it's important to shop small, like in any capacity. Yeah, 564 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 3: and I feel like a lot of small businesses are 565 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 3: owned by minorities in general. 566 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 2: I guess you know what it is too, Like you 567 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: know you've heard, I mean, we've heard the statistic over 568 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 2: and over that the black dollar stays in the Black 569 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 2: neighborhood like for less than like it passes through not 570 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,959 Speaker 2: even one hand before leaving the Black neighborhood. It's like 571 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,040 Speaker 2: the Jewish dollar passes through like thirty hands. I don't 572 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 2: that's not the exact, you know number, And then the 573 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 2: Spanish dollar passes through two hands. 574 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 3: And the Asias they're more good about buying from businesses 575 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 3: owned by each other. 576 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 2: Yes, and so I can understand that that like that 577 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: there's so much wealth I think are buying power nations. 578 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,679 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? Look at Chinatown? Mm hmm. I 579 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,679 Speaker 1: have friends who can get deals in apartment in Chinatown 580 00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 1: that I'd never be able to get exactly. 581 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you can call it discrimination, but I feel 582 00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 3: I feel no way about it because I'm kind of like, man, 583 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,480 Speaker 3: that neighborhood is like one of the last true, you know, 584 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 3: vestiges of Old New York that have actually stayed the 585 00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 3: same and in some ways you kind of want to 586 00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 3: preserve that and exact. 587 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 2: But that's like too, like like being Nigerian, there's certain 588 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,199 Speaker 2: deals that I get, Like if you go someplace, like 589 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,120 Speaker 2: you know, if my mom's like no, no, no, I'll 590 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,280 Speaker 2: go for you, or like tell them. 591 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,959 Speaker 3: I say, you, if my coworker who's Jewish hadn't told 592 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,600 Speaker 3: me to go to her, you know, hadn't told me 593 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,400 Speaker 3: specifically go to Irving in the diamondustry, tell him Lisa 594 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 3: sent you. I don't know if I would have gotten 595 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 3: to deal for twenty dollars. 596 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: That's how it goes. 597 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 2: Something, So I get that, you know, that's how it 598 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 2: goes sometimes that certain groups look after their own. I 599 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,399 Speaker 2: guess the issue is that, unfortunately, it seems like African 600 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 2: American community does not do that. 601 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 3: It seems because there's less of a cultural I feel 602 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,120 Speaker 3: like other minorities sometimes there's such a huge cultural divine, 603 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,159 Speaker 3: like especially if you're immigrants African Americans, we grew up 604 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 3: in America and like there's no language barrier, there's no 605 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 3: nothing keeping you from going to like a wide owned 606 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,399 Speaker 3: business like that because you're not you don't have that. 607 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, for sure, because. 608 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: Well just even like you know, there's a sense of 609 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 2: like I see you, I understand you, like you know, 610 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 2: like Nigerians, or if you're Dominican, or if you but 611 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 2: you're right, even though you know, you could be African American, 612 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 2: but that could mean so many different things. But if 613 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 2: you are Dominican, there is a shared sense of like 614 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 2: culture and history. 615 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 1: Like you said, yes. 616 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 2: That's missing in the African American community because it's like 617 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 2: you could be from Atlanta you're African American, and I 618 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: could be from Newark and we could have literally no 619 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:21,160 Speaker 2: nothing common as far as our background. But if I'm 620 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 2: Dominican and I live in Canada and you're Dominican and 621 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 2: you live in I don't know, Australia, there's still a 622 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,920 Speaker 2: sense of like, oh my god, you know totally, yeah, 623 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So definitely I believe that 624 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 2: to be so. 625 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 3: It's still more American when I'm not in America, when 626 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 3: I'm traveling out, you'd meet the other Americans in the 627 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 3: hostel or exactly, oh my god, maybe all of a sudden, 628 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 3: I'm like waving the flag and I'm proud an American. 629 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: You get real country. 630 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, no, for sure, that's a good reminder, though 631 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 3: I feel like, yeah, god, I live in Queens. I 632 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 3: don't think there are any black owned businesses. I mean 633 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,199 Speaker 3: Queens is like literally the I think there's there's. This 634 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,679 Speaker 3: is a fact. It's like the single most diverse county 635 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 3: in the United States. Like every single walk of life 636 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 3: is there. But my neighborhood is very Greek, very Brazilian, 637 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 3: very Hispanic, very Vietnamese. It's been like not a lot 638 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 3: of black owned businesses, but I do. I shop at 639 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 3: small businesses all the time. That's what I love about 640 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 3: New York. Yeah, I know, it's hard not to know 641 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 3: a Walmart. We're like a local here, local there. You're right, Oh, 642 00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 3: we're here, we're here, We're back. So now we're time 643 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 3: for now it's time for Brown Break. Brown Break, Yeah, 644 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 3: my favorite segment. 645 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 1: Brown. I love the game. I think to take breaks from. 646 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,280 Speaker 2: I know, even though I don't really take the breaks 647 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 2: when I get home, it's like we just take a 648 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 2: break online. 649 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,639 Speaker 1: I'm like, I really should take a break, you know. 650 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 3: I did actually take a break from political coverage for 651 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,160 Speaker 3: I'm like done, Like, wake me up when it's October 652 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 3: twenty sixteen, Like then I'll look I'll pay attention to 653 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,159 Speaker 3: the last month. I don't need to hear all these 654 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,719 Speaker 3: stupid debates one more, no, no more. 655 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,280 Speaker 1: Ben Carson. Oh yeah, foolery, Trump, foolery, you know, thinking 656 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 1: what you're talking about. So we said give me a break. 657 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,439 Speaker 2: I said, ooh, that should be a brown break, like 658 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 2: give me a break, give me a break, break me off, 659 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 2: a brown break something something. 660 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 1: Now I don't know what the words are going to be. 661 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: Just work with me. That's just the first draft. Break. Yeah, break, 662 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,280 Speaker 1: give me brown break. Phones you guys can get the 663 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:25,479 Speaker 1: soundtrack for and marked at zero dollars at zero pay 664 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,120 Speaker 1: you to listen to it. So what should we brown? 665 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,439 Speaker 2: Okay, so my brown break is I want to take 666 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 2: a brown break from being anti social. 667 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 1: Yes, I said it. 668 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 2: I'm anti social, and not even because I'm not social. 669 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,520 Speaker 2: I'm antisocial because as I get older, it takes me 670 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 2: longer to get cutter. And I noticed that because so 671 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 2: for those of you who don't know, I own my 672 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 2: own business and I work from home, and so I'm 673 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 2: largely in my pjs with like my hair and a 674 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,560 Speaker 2: messy bun which I'm wearing now. This is like my 675 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 2: sleep bun, my wake Bun my everything Bun Drell's like 676 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,440 Speaker 2: Superman is like this BN. 677 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: And so yeah. 678 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 2: So because of that, I ended up like, you know, 679 00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 2: like no makeup, just in my PGAs. And so when 680 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,479 Speaker 2: fun things are happening and someone said you want to go, 681 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 2: I always start thinking to myself, Oh, that sounds like 682 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 2: oh wait, it sounds like having to wash up again, 683 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 2: having to put on a little bit of face, having 684 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 2: to find something to wear that actually fits, having to 685 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 2: do my hair. It sounds like work. So I end 686 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,879 Speaker 2: up saying no, stay home. And as a result, I 687 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,440 Speaker 2: have not been having so much fun in my life. 688 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 2: So I've been working and I've been chilling at home. 689 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 2: And unless I'm traveling for the budget these then for business, 690 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 2: I'm not really leaving the house as much. And I'm like, 691 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 2: I want to take a brown break from nice to 692 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: be such a fun fun, like a fun person. 693 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 3: I think that happens when you get older, though, Like you, 694 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 3: you find so much time for the things you don't 695 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,960 Speaker 3: want to do. Yeah, and when it comes to the 696 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,399 Speaker 3: fun stuff, you find excuses, Yeah, not enough time or 697 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 3: it's too much work. You like you put your own 698 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 3: like wants and you kind of forget that it's worth THEPA. 699 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's work because then when I end up going on. 700 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,959 Speaker 2: But like, so, for example, one of my friends, I 701 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: just love him. His name is Cabral, and Cabral is 702 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 2: like one of my favorite friends because. 703 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: Cabral like lives life. 704 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 2: He eats well, he goes to fancy restaurants, he travels 705 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 2: like every other month, and so Cabrel so he's also gay, 706 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 2: so like he's also like so Superman's always like, yeah, 707 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 2: go with Cabral. So Cabrel is like my like he 708 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 2: just will always be like, honey, you want to go out. 709 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 3: And I'm just like with the gays, I can be 710 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,360 Speaker 3: very detrimental to the budget. And I say that lovingly 711 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 3: because I have many gay friends. He will quickly take 712 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 3: me to the club and I'll see all my paychecks. 713 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: No, Cabral is a treater too. 714 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,119 Speaker 3: That's the benefit of getting older to your friends are 715 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:34,159 Speaker 3: old enough to actually treat him. 716 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 2: Yes, And it's like it's like four of us like 717 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 2: that we hang out sometimes now and so like he'll 718 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 2: be like, so he'll call because he knows we're all 719 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 2: the same. Where like all the women, it's like three 720 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 2: other women who are entrepreneurs that we kind of never 721 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 2: go anywhere. 722 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 1: So Gobrel's always wanted to be. 723 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 2: Like, hey, girls, where we are on this week and 724 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,160 Speaker 2: we're all like a cobral He's like, be ready tomorrow 725 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 2: and then he'll drive and then he won't tell you 726 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,520 Speaker 2: where he's going, and then he'll just take you somewhere 727 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 2: and then you're like it's amazing, and then he'll. 728 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 3: Treat and so yeah, what always like, I mean, that 729 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 3: sounds like an invitation that you would not pass up. 730 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,800 Speaker 1: So when when when the cabro calls, I'm like, when where? 731 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 2: But what I love about him is that he takes 732 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 2: me out of that comfort zone to say tip to 733 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,800 Speaker 2: get out and go and so and not to say 734 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 2: Superman doesn't, but I don't know, Like I mean when 735 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 2: we hang out, it's just like, I mean, we're like 736 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,120 Speaker 2: a Netflix and Chill kind of couple. 737 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: And like also too, we have like different takeing. 738 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 3: Me something different when you're in a committed relationship, you 739 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 3: know what it means when you're dating, Yeah, you finished 740 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:30,520 Speaker 3: in Brook, Yeah exactly. 741 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 2: He's like, oh exactly, I know when that highl So 742 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 2: but yeah, I just want to be a little less 743 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 2: like I used to love, like rollerblading. I'm like, you 744 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,240 Speaker 2: know what, there's a roller skating drink around the house 745 00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 2: and they have adult Night's supposed to be really fun. 746 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go, you know, probably this week. And then 747 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 2: a friend of mine was like, oh, let's go on 748 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,760 Speaker 2: this this like a trail in. 749 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: The other house. 750 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 2: And my best friend's like, we should go in the 751 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 2: hike and I'm like, I don't only want to, but 752 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go. I'm gonna try to force myself and 753 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 2: small one thing, yeah, one thing a week, right, one 754 00:29:58,200 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 2: fun thing a week. 755 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 3: You can fall into that trap though you work so 756 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 3: hard to get here, and then you keep working so 757 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 3: hard that you can't enjoy it. So I try and 758 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 3: be cognizant of that for sure. 759 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,000 Speaker 1: So what's your brown break? 760 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,520 Speaker 3: My brown break is so I don't know if funny 761 00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 3: my coworkers are listening, but I love you dearly. But 762 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,479 Speaker 3: recently someone at the office passed around this New York 763 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 3: Times article which talked about the idea of a de 764 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 3: energizer in the office, which is a kind of person 765 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 3: or people who tend to let their negative attitudes just 766 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,719 Speaker 3: like bring the whole environment down, okay, and it can 767 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 3: be difficult that a huge company, especially when there's like 768 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 3: a lot of moving parts and maybe like especially like 769 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,280 Speaker 3: if your job maybe doesn't get impacted by all the 770 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 3: other stuff happening around you, and you're kind of if 771 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 3: you just stay in your bubble, Like if I just 772 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 3: stay in my bubble, I don't have to worry about 773 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 3: any of the corporate bs happening. 774 00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: I just do my job. I get to write, I 775 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: do what I love, I get to do video, I 776 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: do the podcast on the side. 777 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,000 Speaker 3: No one's saying no, but if sometimes like there's a 778 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 3: lot of stuff happening and it can get in the way. 779 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 3: Like for example, we have a group chat, which is great. 780 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 3: It's like the literal it's like a digital water cooler. 781 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 3: We pass around gifts, we joke, we like shoot the breeze. 782 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 3: It's like where we catch up and. 783 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 2: That's the thing that went down the other day slack 784 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 2: or something slack. I don't know, there's something that went down. 785 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 2: It was like group chat. Everybody was talking about it, 786 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 2: but I'm not. 787 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 3: There's a million different kinds we use the Yahoo one obviously, okay, 788 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 3: I am, but it's like where it's just a great 789 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 3: place to catch up and just you know, camaraderie or whatever. 790 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 3: So I love the group chat. It's hilarious, we crack 791 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 3: up all that, we just passed plenty links. But sometimes 792 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:25,720 Speaker 3: it can get to be like a bit of a 793 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,959 Speaker 3: down or if everyone else's like feelings about what's happening 794 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 3: with their separate stuff at the work is, then it 795 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 3: starts to bring everything down. And while it's fun to 796 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 3: commiserate and important, I think to commiserate, it's like a 797 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 3: healthy way of venting, you know, And. 798 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: You don't want to stay in that negative You don't 799 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: want to stay in it. 800 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 3: And I've found in the past month that like it's 801 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 3: really getting me down and I kind of want to 802 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 3: take I've tried. 803 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 1: It's hard to break out of it. 804 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 3: Because you don't want to be disconnected, Like I don't 805 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,760 Speaker 3: want to be I don't want to lose access to 806 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 3: my friend coworkers, my friends, and like the gossip and stuff, 807 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 3: all the good stuff. But at the same time I 808 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 3: want and I don't want to make them feel bad 809 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 3: for venting, because they should because like they're they they're 810 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 3: valid and whatever their complaints are. But at some point 811 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 3: you just have to like, and we don't have an office, 812 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 3: this is another symptom I think of, like being in 813 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 3: this open concept, Like the last three places I've worked 814 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 3: at have been just rows of desks and no one 815 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,120 Speaker 3: has offices. Everything's glass walls, everything's transparent. But it just 816 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 3: it just gives everyone else more license to just come 817 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,880 Speaker 3: into your area, like your personal space. Like this one 818 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 3: coworker who she recently left, I don't feel that talking 819 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 3: about honey, I'm like, really gonna get in trouble. 820 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: She used to come over all the time and just 821 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: pop up, Hey, what's going on? What you doing? 822 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 3: Staring at my computer screen talking about whatever gossip she had. 823 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: And I'm just like, leave me alone. I'm trying to focus. 824 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:44,360 Speaker 1: I'm a writer. Leave this is our musical segment, Like 825 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,040 Speaker 1: this is our most musical show. I was at Michael Jackson. 826 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:55,720 Speaker 3: Interrupting such a ham Yeah, And so I feel like 827 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,720 Speaker 3: I just have to find like I've started taken my 828 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 3: laptop and working somewhere else sometimes, you know, whenever I can, 829 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 3: like it was a big office, I can go still 830 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 3: on the couch, or you know, go to a different 831 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 3: floor and work someone else, or work from home a 832 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,040 Speaker 3: couple hours, leave a little bit early and work a 833 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 3: little bit you know, coming early to. 834 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: Have that quiet time. 835 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 3: So yeah, I just got I guess like my brown 836 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 3: break is just about like yeah, Debbie Downers and and 837 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 3: and just the general lack of personal space at work. 838 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 2: So if you have any brown breaks, feel free to share. 839 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 1: You can tweet us at the BA podcast. 840 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 3: Email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. 841 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,600 Speaker 1: I almost message. You can also hit us up on Facebook. 842 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 2: You guys have been doing great on the Facebook group 843 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 2: at just Brown Ambition. 844 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,720 Speaker 1: Just type in Brown Ambition will come up. You find us. 845 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 2: You'll see pictures of me and Mandy Smiley a rare occasion. 846 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,160 Speaker 2: Mandy makes me hugger every time I see her, just 847 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 2: so you guys know. 848 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: It's an end. I can't stop it. I know you 849 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: don't like hugs. You know it's okay. Body just comes at. 850 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 2: You would think, because you know, Mandy's like more like 851 00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 2: the like straight guy, like, oh, you know, and I'm 852 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:00,800 Speaker 2: more like the silly when you would think that i'd 853 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,160 Speaker 2: be like such the hugger. 854 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: And I'm so not a hugger. 855 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,120 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I'm so like, hey, you touched me well, 856 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,720 Speaker 2: because I didn't really gro up in a hugging household. 857 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: Nigerians tend not to be super huggle ishous. That's what 858 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 1: I've heard about families, their immigrant family. Yeah, I mean definitely. 859 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: I know my parents love me, just Nigerians. 860 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 3: But like you know that new Asiason sorry show Master 861 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 3: of None. 862 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,239 Speaker 1: Yes, I have been watching, And did you watch the 863 00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,879 Speaker 1: Immigrant Parent? No, I it's like his real parents. Yes, 864 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:23,840 Speaker 1: I want to watch it. 865 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 2: Not from Nigeria, no, India yeah no, but he no, no, 866 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,919 Speaker 2: but I've heard, like I read like an article saying 867 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,960 Speaker 2: it was like his real parents. And then his dad 868 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000 Speaker 2: like made him cry because his dad said something like 869 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,720 Speaker 2: he's a dad had a feel like being in Hollywood. 870 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,319 Speaker 2: He's like, honestly, I only just came because I wanted 871 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,799 Speaker 2: to spend time with you. Yeah, and I was like, oh, 872 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 2: these old parents, they make you tear up. 873 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: You should definitely watch Master of None. That's a great show. 874 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been watching, like I watched the first I 875 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,600 Speaker 3: watched the Immigrant Parent episode because I think it will resonate. 876 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 1: All right, Well, so now we actually have tips man, 877 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,880 Speaker 1: Oh tips, Yes, we have ever reader. Yes, let me 878 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:01,720 Speaker 1: get mine, which. 879 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 2: Is good because you guys are asking questions. So definitely email. 880 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 2: What was the email again? 881 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 3: The email is Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. 882 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:12,120 Speaker 2: Yes, for sure, email us your questions because you got 883 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,760 Speaker 2: a good one. We're going to answer it and Mandy 884 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 2: shall read. 885 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 1: I shall read. So this question, have you ever if GI, 886 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:20,080 Speaker 1: have you ever gone to Harlem? You know, the Black Israelites? 887 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,360 Speaker 1: They were like, I don't know, they almost look like adult. 888 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:23,799 Speaker 1: I don't want to be disrespectful. 889 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,479 Speaker 2: They wear garments, but like they have this thing where 890 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,479 Speaker 2: like they're reading from their. 891 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:28,880 Speaker 1: Holy Book and it's just as a kid. 892 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 2: I just always remember walking through the guy would say 893 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 2: something like and then the man is walking and they 894 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 2: would stop and then someone would. 895 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: Yell rude. 896 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,719 Speaker 2: Anybody from Harlem or even they used to do it 897 00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 2: in Nework. But yeah, so I'm just telling Mandy rude. 898 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,640 Speaker 3: I'm reading reading, I'm going okay. So our questions from 899 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 3: Carrie and Pittsburgh the long question. 900 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,759 Speaker 1: You guys like to write about your feelings, so. 901 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 3: Let me try and summarize what she says. So thanks 902 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,239 Speaker 3: again Carrie for writing the question. Yes, she says, my 903 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 3: husband and I both work full time and we make 904 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 3: decent salaries. I work in higher ed he works in 905 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:07,560 Speaker 3: upper management and retail. Unfortunately, they feel like their salaries 906 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 3: are not getting them very far. They're working paycheck to 907 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 3: paycheck and have been for years. Last year, my husband 908 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 3: took on an amazing job opportunity, but they had to 909 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,200 Speaker 3: do long distance for five months because she, at the 910 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 3: same time was in grad school. So they had two apartments. 911 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,440 Speaker 3: They were paying for, two rents, two water bills, two 912 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 3: electric bills. I'm sure a lot of couples can relate. 913 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 3: This sounds like a horrible plus. She had to take 914 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 3: out student loans just to help fund all those expenses. 915 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 3: They're living off of his one salary, and they both 916 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:37,960 Speaker 3: want to save, and they want to start a family, 917 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 3: and they want to be homeowners soon. Of course you do. 918 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 3: Every young couple wants that, and it's unfortunate that, you know, 919 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 3: so many of them are stuck with student loan debt 920 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:49,120 Speaker 3: like you guys are. So Carrie says with her new job, 921 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 3: part of her benefits now is to talk with the 922 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,880 Speaker 3: financial advisor. She wants to, but she says, my hobby 923 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,720 Speaker 3: says it'd be a waste of time. Men. 924 00:36:57,880 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was going to say yeah whenever had 925 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 2: that question, was like, oh, that's such a man thing. 926 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: Sorry, man, he. 927 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:05,080 Speaker 3: Thinks so her husband says he thinks all he thinks, 928 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 3: all he or she would tell us to do is 929 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,920 Speaker 3: pay off her credit cards. My question is will going 930 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 3: to a financial advisor be useful giving our scenario? And secondly, 931 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 3: should we consider a debt consolidation servicer PROS or cons 932 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 3: sore with the first one? 933 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 2: So the first one, I would say, so usually a 934 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 2: financial advisor. 935 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:24,240 Speaker 1: What usually sets them apart? 936 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,800 Speaker 2: It's sounding like you're needing more like a financial planner, 937 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 2: because a financial advisor, their main focus usually is retirement 938 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 2: and investment investments, right, I mean, some of them do 939 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,719 Speaker 2: help with budgeting, but that you can't. 940 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,879 Speaker 3: But if you're a good advisor, though, you can't get 941 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,759 Speaker 3: to retirement without first starting with the budgeting and play. 942 00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, but honestly, I know, literally because you know that's 943 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,480 Speaker 2: what I don't. I'm not a financial advisor. I'm a 944 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,480 Speaker 2: financial educator. So, like, I know a ton on ton 945 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 2: on ton of financial advisors, and they not to say 946 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,879 Speaker 2: that they don't want to help with budgeting, but that's 947 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 2: not usually where their focus is lying when they're helping, 948 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,319 Speaker 2: so they might do like a cursory kind of like oh, yeah, 949 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 2: this is a basic budget but. 950 00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:59,520 Speaker 1: They're not going to lean in. 951 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 2: And it sounds like to me that you're needing first 952 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 2: and foremost you need like some sort of budget, like 953 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 2: a plan of like paying down the stead a plan 954 00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:09,920 Speaker 2: for this is like if you're gonna if you want 955 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:11,279 Speaker 2: a house, you have to have a plan for that. 956 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 2: So it's sounding like not to say you have to 957 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 2: go out and hire a financial planner, but that's what 958 00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:20,840 Speaker 2: it's really sounding like, that sitting down and creating a budget. 959 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,879 Speaker 1: There are some free resources that you can get because 960 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 1: she can free. 961 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,319 Speaker 2: So see what I would say, ask your husband if 962 00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 2: because you don't want to do stuff behind his back, 963 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,279 Speaker 2: because that's your husband, So asking him, like, you know, 964 00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,719 Speaker 2: even though you might not totally agree or whatever, how 965 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,480 Speaker 2: do you feel if I just at least go and 966 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,319 Speaker 2: ask some questions, like even if you want to create 967 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 2: some questions with him and sit down at least talk 968 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,960 Speaker 2: because if it, if it comes free, why not use 969 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 2: it and just see? And you know, if that financial 970 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 2: advisor doesn't seem as helpful, then you can look for 971 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 2: sources of you know, and I know, like there's a 972 00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 2: ton of books out there, but there are also some 973 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,440 Speaker 2: like online resources that you can use there's mint. 974 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,440 Speaker 1: I don't know if they have a budgeting component. 975 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 3: Well, there's so many different layers here. I mean, ment 976 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,160 Speaker 3: is more about you have a budget, and you tell 977 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,480 Speaker 3: it you have a budget, and then you tell it 978 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 3: what your limits are. But you have to already have 979 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,759 Speaker 3: decided what your budget is. I mean, it sounds like 980 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 3: she wants to know about debt consolidation. That may be 981 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 3: a question that your financial advisor could help you with, 982 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,040 Speaker 3: but if it's through your benefits package at work, he 983 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 3: may just or he or she may just want to talk. 984 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:24,920 Speaker 2: To you about your four While I was going to 985 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,680 Speaker 2: say that that's what, but just see, how would you 986 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,400 Speaker 2: know unless you see I mean, I'm not trying to 987 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:29,920 Speaker 2: do like a plug here, but this is free. So 988 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 2: one thing I started that we'd be really great for 989 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,279 Speaker 2: you as a woman, and a lot of women join 990 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 2: and then they kind of pull their husbands in. Later 991 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 2: I started this thing called the Live Richer Challenge specifically 992 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 2: for that because so many people are like, I don't 993 00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 2: know what to do. So the way it works is 994 00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 2: you sign up at live richer challenge dot net and 995 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 2: starting in January, every day I send you one small 996 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 2: easy tip tour saving more getting your budget together and 997 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,360 Speaker 2: having more so that you can do the things that 998 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,680 Speaker 2: you want. And so that's a totally free resource, but 999 00:39:58,960 --> 00:39:59,840 Speaker 2: it's I would. 1000 00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:00,799 Speaker 1: Look to for stuff like that. 1001 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:03,919 Speaker 2: If your financial advisor does not seem like that, that's 1002 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,959 Speaker 2: what they're gonna be helping you with. But it doesn't 1003 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 2: hurt to ask questions because your financial advisor usually will 1004 00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,960 Speaker 2: start with a budget, but you might need a little 1005 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 2: bit more handholding. And we can't really tell you whether 1006 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,400 Speaker 2: or not you should consolidate your debt because you. 1007 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: Can talk about this too. 1008 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 3: If it's student loan debt that you're worried about. You 1009 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,040 Speaker 3: went to graduate school, which means you might have private 1010 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,480 Speaker 3: student loan debt, and if that's the case, there are. 1011 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 1: Resources out there for you. 1012 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 3: There's so FI that's my favorite. I say, yeah, they're 1013 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,359 Speaker 3: the big wig, but there's also Common Bond is another one. 1014 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:39,040 Speaker 3: These are both startups, but they do private student loan refinancing. 1015 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:43,239 Speaker 3: They do some mortgages and stuff too, but as loans. Yeah, 1016 00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:44,480 Speaker 3: but their main business is. 1017 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 1: A student loans. 1018 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,359 Speaker 3: Student loans how they started off, I think, And if 1019 00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 3: you have private loans, they can I mean if you 1020 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 3: have good credit, which is you know you didn't. You 1021 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,520 Speaker 3: haven't mentioned your credit, but if you have good credit, 1022 00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 3: I think their minimum credit score to qualify for loans 1023 00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,560 Speaker 3: is seven hundred, so you have to have pretty good 1024 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,359 Speaker 3: credit to qualify, but can reduce your rates to pretty low. 1025 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 3: I think they started like two percent, So depending on 1026 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 3: what your private student loan interest rates is, that could 1027 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,759 Speaker 3: be an option. If you have federal student loan debt, 1028 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,800 Speaker 3: there are ways for you to apply for income based repayment. 1029 00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:14,120 Speaker 1: I did. I know. 1030 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,600 Speaker 3: It can be overwhelming because it's separating like private from federal, 1031 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,759 Speaker 3: but you can go talk to your loan service or 1032 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,920 Speaker 3: just call them up and say ask them about income 1033 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:26,640 Speaker 3: based repayment. There are There is a federal debt consolidation program. However, 1034 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 3: they won't like take all your loans and give you 1035 00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,600 Speaker 3: a lower rate. They'll take the average. 1036 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,480 Speaker 1: Of basic. 1037 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,719 Speaker 2: But it's just you'll be paying one bill versus like 1038 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:36,960 Speaker 2: multiple exactly. 1039 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,640 Speaker 3: And although so FI and Common bond do allow you 1040 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 3: to refinance federal student loan, you should not because I 1041 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,000 Speaker 3: mean for one specific reason, which is that you'll be 1042 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,640 Speaker 3: turning those federal loans into a private loan, and. 1043 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:51,240 Speaker 1: Private loans are private. 1044 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 3: They don't have any the same federal benefits and intent 1045 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 3: based repayment, the pay as you earn plan, all these 1046 00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:01,640 Speaker 3: sort of barons deferment stuff like that. And also, yeah, 1047 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,080 Speaker 3: that's a big that's a big reason why. 1048 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,399 Speaker 2: So one, so I guess this is our our three 1049 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,360 Speaker 2: prong tip. Yes, you should meet with your financial advisor. 1050 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 2: Definitely talk with your husband about it and just CONVINCEM 1051 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 2: for you to at least sit down with him. 1052 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 1: That's one. 1053 00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,040 Speaker 2: Two it's sounding like you guys need to get a 1054 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,719 Speaker 2: clear budget on the table of like like. 1055 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:20,520 Speaker 1: What's really happening. 1056 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,520 Speaker 2: So that way, because you can't have a debt plan 1057 00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 2: unless you have a budget. First, you can't start to 1058 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,400 Speaker 2: really rebuild your credit unless you really figure out what 1059 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,520 Speaker 2: is your money doing. And that's just what a budget is, 1060 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 2: a physical picture. So you need to get a budget 1061 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,040 Speaker 2: on the board. And so that free resource of the 1062 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:38,000 Speaker 2: liverature challenge can help with that. If your financial advisor 1063 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 2: isn't able to or just that's just not his specialty, 1064 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 2: So financial advisor, get yourself a budget, and then if 1065 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,839 Speaker 2: you find you know what, we really do need help 1066 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:51,439 Speaker 2: consolidating this debt, look into companies like so far, if 1067 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,680 Speaker 2: you have private loans, not federal. If you have federal loans, 1068 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,319 Speaker 2: hit up your federal loan company. There are things in 1069 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,279 Speaker 2: place to help. Like at one point I was in 1070 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,440 Speaker 2: forbearance for like ever, and you know, I think for 1071 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 2: you was it for banter to ferment but whatever one 1072 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 2: of those basically why I didn't have to pay for 1073 00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 2: a little while, just because I had to get myself together. 1074 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:13,239 Speaker 2: So those are kind of like your three steps, I 1075 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 2: would say. 1076 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,160 Speaker 3: It sounds like from her question, so when you guys, 1077 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,120 Speaker 3: when you were in grad school and he was you 1078 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 3: were paying for two runs and all those extra expenses. 1079 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 3: You said you were putting all the additional expenses on 1080 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,879 Speaker 3: credit cards. And my concern is that you guys might 1081 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,920 Speaker 3: still be leaning on the credit cards. And if that's 1082 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 3: the case, you really have to figure out why you're 1083 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,759 Speaker 3: turning to credit cards so much. And it could be 1084 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,239 Speaker 3: that your expenses are too high. And it sounds like 1085 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 3: really painful, you know to do this, but you need 1086 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:38,640 Speaker 3: to start cutting your expenses. There's just no other way 1087 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,719 Speaker 3: around it. You have to cut your expenses figure and 1088 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,600 Speaker 3: stop relying on credit like you can't keep paying off. 1089 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 3: I was in this trap after college. I was I 1090 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:48,400 Speaker 3: was maxing out my card and paying off just a 1091 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:50,600 Speaker 3: little bit, and then I was maxing it out again 1092 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 3: and paying off just a little bit and getting those 1093 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,360 Speaker 3: interest charges. You got to start paying that down. And 1094 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 3: once you get your budget under control, once you start 1095 00:43:56,680 --> 00:44:00,920 Speaker 3: cutting expenses, hopefully you'll have room to really start whacking 1096 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:04,200 Speaker 3: away at that credit card debt aggressively, because. 1097 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,080 Speaker 2: You're not gonna be able to be able to get 1098 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 2: a home if you have mass, masses massive amount of 1099 00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:10,480 Speaker 2: credit card debt. 1100 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: At least overwhelming. 1101 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 2: But it's not honestly because like Mandy said the same 1102 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 2: thing like me, Like I lost my job in like 1103 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,799 Speaker 2: two thousand and nine. I was a teacher, and I 1104 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:21,239 Speaker 2: was relying heavily on credit cards until literally one day 1105 00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:22,759 Speaker 2: I had to be like, like I was paying I 1106 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 2: was paying them down, using it, paying it down, using it. 1107 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,920 Speaker 2: And then finally I was like, Tiffany, the number one 1108 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,800 Speaker 2: rule when you're in the ditch and you're trying to 1109 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,280 Speaker 2: get out is stop digging. Like that's just I literally 1110 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,320 Speaker 2: had a shovel in my ditch and I kept digging, 1111 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,160 Speaker 2: it kept digging. 1112 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:37,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, stop digging. 1113 00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 2: So if my shovel was my credit card, I literally 1114 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 2: took the credit card out of my wallet and cut 1115 00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,839 Speaker 2: it up and was like, now what We're gonna only 1116 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:49,120 Speaker 2: deal with what's here now. And that helped significantly because 1117 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,879 Speaker 2: it was like now, when I was paying, at least 1118 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,279 Speaker 2: it was going somewhere, you know, because it wasn't. 1119 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:54,920 Speaker 1: For like a few years, I was. 1120 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,440 Speaker 2: Just paying and getting back into debt. So finally I 1121 00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,520 Speaker 2: put down the credit card. It was not easy. They 1122 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,879 Speaker 2: were definitely bills that were late. I think sometimes people 1123 00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:03,520 Speaker 2: are looking for us to say. 1124 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,040 Speaker 1: Like, well, you know, it'll work. 1125 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,560 Speaker 2: No. Sometimes there were bills that were late, and it 1126 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,799 Speaker 2: was scary because I had never been late before. But 1127 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,680 Speaker 2: I had to prioritize like shelter food everybody else can wait. 1128 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,319 Speaker 2: And then slowly but surely, I doug. I used to 1129 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,319 Speaker 2: have like an eight to h two credit score because 1130 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,319 Speaker 2: I lost my job. I couldn't afford my mortgage and 1131 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,560 Speaker 2: it fell to like a five seventy four. But slowly 1132 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 2: but surely, after putting down a credit cards and paying 1133 00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 2: them off, it took me a few years to do 1134 00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:32,040 Speaker 2: so my credit score started to raise. I finally got 1135 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 2: out of credit card debt, but it took a number 1136 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,919 Speaker 2: of years. But it also took me literally putting down 1137 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,080 Speaker 2: the credit cards and just working with what I had, 1138 00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,399 Speaker 2: and if that meant some things were late, they were. 1139 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,200 Speaker 2: But I would call the companies ahead of time and 1140 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,000 Speaker 2: be like, look, this is what's happening. I'm gonna pay, 1141 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 2: just not this month or just not this week, and 1142 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 2: just know that it's not it's not always gonna look pretty, 1143 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:53,600 Speaker 2: but you'll eventually get there. 1144 00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,319 Speaker 1: Absolutely. And it sounds like you have a I mean, 1145 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:58,399 Speaker 1: not to be cumming down. 1146 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,520 Speaker 3: I'm just kind of I'm shoying it's going to be 1147 00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,279 Speaker 3: along road, like you're not going to get all this 1148 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,840 Speaker 3: at one time, and you shouldn't put that pressure on yourself. 1149 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 3: I know it feels like everyone should be at we 1150 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,640 Speaker 3: should all be homeowners and having kids and starting families, 1151 00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,359 Speaker 3: and like, I mean, I just got engaged. I don't 1152 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,160 Speaker 3: feel ready to pay for a wedding, but I mean, 1153 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,880 Speaker 3: you just can't have it all at one time. To 1154 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,040 Speaker 3: focus in the little small things. Yeah, and I think 1155 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 3: most importantly again back to your husband, like not wanting 1156 00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,880 Speaker 3: to go to the financial advisor if he's afraid to, 1157 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:26,920 Speaker 3: because he feels like it would be you know somewhat, 1158 00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:28,680 Speaker 3: I don't know, like admitting he doesn't know how to 1159 00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,040 Speaker 3: do something, you know you need to help them sort 1160 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,239 Speaker 3: of get over that because it's about your family and 1161 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,160 Speaker 3: if it could help, then you should both want to 1162 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:36,520 Speaker 3: do that for your family. And it sounds like you 1163 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,000 Speaker 3: might need like an outsider, I mean like us, but 1164 00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:40,960 Speaker 3: like someone who really can get down and here heat 1165 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 3: with you guys, and look at what those root issues 1166 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:44,800 Speaker 3: are that are causing me to lean on those credit 1167 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,480 Speaker 3: cards and help you get out of that. 1168 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 1: And also see, you know what you could try to 1169 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:48,520 Speaker 1: do too. 1170 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,400 Speaker 2: If he doesn't want to go to the financial advisor, 1171 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,200 Speaker 2: maybe because like the United Way by me would have 1172 00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,400 Speaker 2: financial education classes and they were free. 1173 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,640 Speaker 1: I used to actually teach them. 1174 00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,320 Speaker 2: So looking to see maybe in somewhere are there some 1175 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:05,399 Speaker 2: organizations that have free financial education classes. Well, they'll walk 1176 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 2: you through, you can ask questions, and so maybe your 1177 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:10,759 Speaker 2: husband's not comfortable with the financial advisor, but hey, how 1178 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,279 Speaker 2: do you feel about me coming to the class even 1179 00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,960 Speaker 2: if he doesn't want to go. Places to have a 1180 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,120 Speaker 2: lot of women that will come in and like their 1181 00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:17,480 Speaker 2: husband will come in the first time, and then I 1182 00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:19,040 Speaker 2: would never see the husband again, but. 1183 00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,360 Speaker 1: The wife would keep coming. She would bring the information home. 1184 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,880 Speaker 2: So that might be also too, because it sounded like 1185 00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,279 Speaker 2: you need a little handholding, which is fine, and you 1186 00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:27,640 Speaker 2: might be able to get it for free. 1187 00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 1: And Pittsburgh is a pretty big city. 1188 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,799 Speaker 2: I'm sure there's some resources available that way, So hit 1189 00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:33,879 Speaker 2: up your local United Way and see if they can 1190 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,759 Speaker 2: tell you something. A lot of times banks will have 1191 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:36,279 Speaker 2: stuff too. 1192 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,399 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, So I'm hoping we'll give you just enough 1193 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:40,200 Speaker 1: to make your head spend. 1194 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,759 Speaker 3: You can't solve all your problems ten minutes, but. 1195 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:46,319 Speaker 1: No. 1196 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,680 Speaker 2: But yeah, Carrie, the fact that you wrote in lets 1197 00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,640 Speaker 2: me know that you are willing to take this, willing 1198 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:52,600 Speaker 2: to take the next step. 1199 00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,160 Speaker 1: So that's the biggest part you can do it. 1200 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,120 Speaker 3: You just got to pivot exactly, just got to change 1201 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:56,919 Speaker 3: the storyline. 1202 00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:10,480 Speaker 1: So pivot in Pittsburgh. We believe in you. 1203 00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,440 Speaker 3: Speaking of pictspurdh never mind, I was gonna say I 1204 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:15,239 Speaker 3: saw create that takes takes place in Philly. Oh okay, rocky, 1205 00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:16,399 Speaker 3: all right, anyway, that's second way. 1206 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:22,799 Speaker 1: So that is our tips men for the week. We're 1207 00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,600 Speaker 1: at the end of the show. Yes, it's time for 1208 00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 1: wigs to the. 1209 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,960 Speaker 3: Show, which boys to men was on the way they 1210 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,719 Speaker 3: were they were amazing. 1211 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,680 Speaker 1: I was like, what happened. 1212 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:38,840 Speaker 3: I mean Brandy and Soul Train on Fantasia was in 1213 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,000 Speaker 3: the middle, but she actually was not bad. 1214 00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:41,640 Speaker 1: She was amazing. 1215 00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,040 Speaker 3: But the songs like the Sitting Up in My Room, 1216 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,040 Speaker 3: the End of the Road, like those two. 1217 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:47,919 Speaker 2: And even you know Tevin Campbell, even though his voice 1218 00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,600 Speaker 2: is not where it was that song honestly, like can 1219 00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,839 Speaker 2: We I used to. 1220 00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:55,600 Speaker 1: Love that song. 1221 00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,719 Speaker 3: Did you have quiet storms on radio when you were 1222 00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 3: a kid? Yeah, that was my feel one O three. 1223 00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,000 Speaker 3: I used to listen to go to sleep. 1224 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,319 Speaker 2: Honestly, now you have maybe like literally I was like 1225 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,920 Speaker 2: and Jill Scott rocked out. I love the Jill Scott. 1226 00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:09,960 Speaker 1: I gotta catch up with my clips. 1227 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:11,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, it just made me want to like literally just 1228 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:13,239 Speaker 2: sit in front of my laptop and just stay up 1229 00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:15,120 Speaker 2: all night listen to like the great music of. 1230 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:19,520 Speaker 1: Like my error. Yes, so boys, men can be a win. Yes, well, no, 1231 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,920 Speaker 1: we know what the win is. The win is that rock? 1232 00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:23,920 Speaker 3: The rock that I'm gonna get back. I feel like 1233 00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,840 Speaker 3: I dropped my baby off at daycare. I know it, 1234 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:28,279 Speaker 3: I know it's on a baby, but I feel like, 1235 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:31,360 Speaker 3: while the ring is getting resized, I'm like having palpitations. 1236 00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:32,799 Speaker 2: So I think that's our win, and then we all 1237 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,919 Speaker 2: we both have really good Thanksgiving, So that's a good win. 1238 00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,840 Speaker 2: I cooked a turkey. I came out really good, and 1239 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,560 Speaker 2: the pictures look amazing. I'm not gonna lie. 1240 00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,800 Speaker 3: I was like, look a Mandy, you cook it in form. 1241 00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:43,560 Speaker 3: But it was my very first turkey. You know what's 1242 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 3: disgusting preparing a turkey? 1243 00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:46,000 Speaker 1: Really? 1244 00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:47,480 Speaker 2: You know what's inside that I don't want to know. 1245 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,880 Speaker 2: I remember you wrote you can't unsee gooblet. You cannot 1246 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,040 Speaker 2: Oh my god, the giblet, the neck bone. 1247 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,319 Speaker 1: I like neck bone, but you don't want to see 1248 00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:57,520 Speaker 1: it raw. I wasn't expecting it either. 1249 00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,399 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, the giblet is like a bloody bag 1250 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,520 Speaker 3: of guts, and then you get the deck bone, which 1251 00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:02,239 Speaker 3: is just out there. 1252 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:03,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I was a trooper. 1253 00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,080 Speaker 3: I used to make the gray bead green. It was 1254 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 3: on point. 1255 00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,719 Speaker 1: Really. Oh yeah, I was. I was all like the 1256 00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,239 Speaker 1: southern balin you just came out. I'm a good cook. 1257 00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:12,759 Speaker 1: I realized my dad used to. 1258 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,440 Speaker 3: My dad used to own a soul food restaurant so 1259 00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,719 Speaker 3: called Ruby's Soul Food in Atlanta. I like, yep, but 1260 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,040 Speaker 3: I was happy. I had just small gathering all my friends. 1261 00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,560 Speaker 1: You know who you are. Let me with the leftovers. Wow, greed. 1262 00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,400 Speaker 3: I tried cleaning up, putting the plates away, trying to 1263 00:50:26,400 --> 00:50:29,080 Speaker 3: be sneaky. They're like, oh no, no, no, all the pots 1264 00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:33,040 Speaker 3: back out, all the pants, where's the tinfoil. One of 1265 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,239 Speaker 3: my friends left with an ice pack because they went 1266 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:36,840 Speaker 3: to the movies. After She's like, oh, you have that 1267 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:37,279 Speaker 3: ice pack? 1268 00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:38,759 Speaker 1: Let me get that. I just like, I want to 1269 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:41,360 Speaker 1: keep this food on ice. Yeah, I love it. Went 1270 00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,839 Speaker 1: to the movies, yeah, to see Creed. Yeah, I heard 1271 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,800 Speaker 1: like good things about Creed. Creates amazing. 1272 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,400 Speaker 3: You know, it's crazy how many so boxing is a 1273 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,640 Speaker 3: sport with like what majority black men? Right? I feel 1274 00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:54,600 Speaker 3: like right, But there's no like movie with the black actor. 1275 00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 3: All the boxing movies you think of, like Rapky, what's 1276 00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,280 Speaker 3: the one Cinderella Man thee with Jake Jill. 1277 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,239 Speaker 1: So it's nice to see Michael B. Jordan. He's amazing. Yeah, 1278 00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:08,279 Speaker 1: each from newarkau is he Yes, his body though he 1279 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:11,560 Speaker 1: could be from Mars. It doesn't matter. Creed was amazing. 1280 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,560 Speaker 3: You should get and it sounds corny, like oh my god, 1281 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,880 Speaker 3: the good Seventh Rocky, But that's a whole new life 1282 00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,360 Speaker 3: for the whole genre. I'm sure we do sequels and stuff. 1283 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,480 Speaker 1: I loved it, so that's a win. Creed is a win. 1284 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:24,800 Speaker 1: That Rock is a win. Yes, and having great Thanksgiving. 1285 00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,640 Speaker 2: So Superman came to the to like, well, he'd met 1286 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,600 Speaker 2: my parents before, but it was his first Thanksgiving with 1287 00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:30,120 Speaker 2: what was it? 1288 00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:31,480 Speaker 1: M he was? 1289 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,520 Speaker 2: He was all nervous, well, because it's only we've only 1290 00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:36,640 Speaker 2: went together. We only had like I think when we 1291 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,960 Speaker 2: got together last year. When did we get together? Anyway, 1292 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 2: There's only been one Thanksgiving. Yeah, so it was like 1293 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:42,600 Speaker 2: kind of but he was all nervous. He was gonna 1294 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,080 Speaker 2: get all dressed up. I'm like, where are you going? 1295 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:44,839 Speaker 2: Are we going to church? 1296 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,160 Speaker 3: No, put on some sneakers on the elastic pants. That's 1297 00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:49,880 Speaker 3: what Thanksgivings all of that, and so he was all 1298 00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:51,799 Speaker 3: tight at first. But everybody was really nice to him, 1299 00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:53,439 Speaker 3: so he like relaxed and he had a good time. 1300 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,080 Speaker 3: I had a very diaspora of Thanksgiving because we went 1301 00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:57,919 Speaker 3: to my sister's house. 1302 00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:01,400 Speaker 2: So we're Nigerian, her husband Jamaican. So we had like 1303 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,799 Speaker 2: we didn't even have stuffing and stuff. We had jerk 1304 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,200 Speaker 2: chicken like more and more, which is a Nigerian food. 1305 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,880 Speaker 2: We had like all these things that were like Jamaican 1306 00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,040 Speaker 2: and Nigerian. And then like later on we went to 1307 00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:16,520 Speaker 2: Jarell's cousin's house, well Superman's cousins house and his family 1308 00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,839 Speaker 2: is like you know, roots southern black. 1309 00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:23,520 Speaker 1: So it was like all like the potato candy, Gams Collagen. 1310 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:25,400 Speaker 2: It was just so I had literally every type of 1311 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,640 Speaker 2: not not every type, but we had Caribbean food, African food, 1312 00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:32,000 Speaker 2: and soul food. It was just the best greedy Thanksgiving ever. 1313 00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:34,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my god, shout out to my friend Jessica 1314 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,920 Speaker 3: for that mac and cheese girl, my Archerie, thank you. 1315 00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:43,319 Speaker 1: So we had a good, good holidays. I got a 1316 00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:44,120 Speaker 1: Christmas tree. 1317 00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,440 Speaker 3: We hope you guys are having a good pre holiday 1318 00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 3: for those of you who you know. 1319 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:52,760 Speaker 2: Yes, and so remember you can always find us on 1320 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:57,280 Speaker 2: Twitter and at the BA podcast on Facebook, Brown Ambition 1321 00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,000 Speaker 2: and Gmail. 1322 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:03,000 Speaker 3: Brown Ambision Podcast at gmail dot com. We love love 1323 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,279 Speaker 3: your question. Yes, we also love love when you tell 1324 00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,279 Speaker 3: it how much you love love Brown Ambition, And we'd 1325 00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,400 Speaker 3: also love love some iTunes reviews. 1326 00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 1: Please send some itunesroo. 1327 00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:14,160 Speaker 3: We had some great momentum, but you guys. 1328 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,399 Speaker 1: Have can leave yeah review. We got a couple of reviews. 1329 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,200 Speaker 1: Don't get paid for this, yes we do not. 1330 00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,320 Speaker 3: This is the goodness of our hearts and just like 1331 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,480 Speaker 3: a passion project, so it's great to have your little leak. 1332 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,840 Speaker 2: How much we do love your reviews. 1333 00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,160 Speaker 3: Every review you leave will just make it all the 1334 00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:33,680 Speaker 3: better when I'm like red eyed at midnight editing this 1335 00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,279 Speaker 3: thing and trying to get it up by six thirty 1336 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,520 Speaker 3: in the morning. But really the support has been awesome. Yes, 1337 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:41,120 Speaker 3: thank you guys, thank you. Almost see you next week. 1338 00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:56,440 Speaker 1: See