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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Angie, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before then, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive.

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Speaker 1: My friend altered my wedding dress without my permission. Don't

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Speaker 1: touch that. I twenty four female, have a friend twenty

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Speaker 1: three female who came to me about a month ago

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Speaker 1: asking to borrow a blue bridesmaid's dress. I was a

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Speaker 1: bridesmaid for a wedding with a blue theme not too

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Speaker 1: long ago, so I lent her the dress that I used.

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Speaker 1: She was a really good friend, so I didn't really

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Speaker 1: mind helping her out. After I handed her the dress,

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Speaker 1: she texted me thanking me, and I have not really

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Speaker 1: heard from her since. Anyway, the wedding happened, and a

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Speaker 1: week later she came to return the dress that she borrowed.

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Speaker 1: When she came over, I asked her how the wedding

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Speaker 1: went and whether or not the dress was comfortable. That's

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Speaker 1: when she admitted that she had it altered to fit

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Speaker 1: her better since she was smaller than me, and that

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Speaker 1: she liked it more snug. I was shocked, gagged, confused,

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Speaker 1: I really didn't know how to feel about it. She

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Speaker 1: didn't even ask my permission to have it altered. Also,

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Speaker 1: isn't it common etiquette to return borrowed things in the

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Speaker 1: same condition you received them? Also, she could have just

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Speaker 1: asked anyway. We had a conversation about how I didn't

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Speaker 1: really appreciate what she did. She apologized and flat out

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Speaker 1: said that I can still have it readjusted if I

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Speaker 1: wanted to wear it again, and that she was willing

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Speaker 1: to pay for it. I told her it wasn't sure

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Speaker 1: it would work since she basically shrunk my dress. Then

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Speaker 1: she suggested that I sell the dress, so I asked

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Speaker 1: her to buy it, since she took it upon herself

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Speaker 1: to have it altered without my permission. She asked how much,

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Speaker 1: and when I told her that it was ninety dollars,

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Speaker 1: she straight up told me that it was too much.

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Speaker 1: She also told me that she wasn't willing to pay

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Speaker 1: that much for a dress that has been used. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's a reasonable price, as I bought it

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Speaker 1: for almost one twenty. Also, it's a cute dress that

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Speaker 1: I intend on wearing again. Am I the able for

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Speaker 1: doing what I did? Is my reaction valid? PS? Hoping

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Speaker 1: there are dress experts or dressmakers here. Is there a

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Speaker 1: possibility to restore the dress to its original size. The

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Speaker 1: dress is made of satin and she made it snug

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Speaker 1: around the bust and waste area. But there are some

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Speaker 1: comments here. One commenter says, my grandma used to say

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Speaker 1: borrowed is related to gifted, and learned in the hard

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Speaker 1: way that that isn't true. I honestly can't believe the

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Speaker 1: audacity of altering the dress. A true friend would have

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Speaker 1: told you, hey, Opie, thank you, but it's a little

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Speaker 1: big for me, instead of basically making sure you'll never

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Speaker 1: be able to wear it again. If you have the

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Speaker 1: receipt or anything that shows the price, I would send

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Speaker 1: it to her, demand at least the ninety dollars he

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Speaker 1: told her, and stop considering her your friend. Another commenter

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Speaker 1: says the Cahoni's to tell her that she doesn't want

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Speaker 1: to pay ninety dollars for a used dress. She's the

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Speaker 1: one that used it and then ruined it for ope.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Another commenter says she needed to return

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Speaker 1: it as she borrowed it or replace it.

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Speaker 3: No oh.

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Speaker 1: Another commenter says, seems dress here being able to restore

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Speaker 1: the dress to your size will depend on how the

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Speaker 1: dress was altered to begin with. If the tailor was

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Speaker 1: able to preserve the extra fabric, then it may just

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Speaker 1: be a question of redoing the scenes. But if the

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Speaker 1: dress was but if the excess was trimmed away after altering,

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Speaker 1: which is common, then there's not much hope without some

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Speaker 1: creative solutions like insert panels or shortening the skirt and

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Speaker 1: using the fabric from that. If your friend is still

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Speaker 1: talking to you, ask where she took the dress and

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Speaker 1: take it to the same person. Otherwise a bridle store

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Speaker 1: with an on site tailor it may be your best bet. Ironically,

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Speaker 1: the cost to restore the dress will probably be around

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Speaker 1: ninety dollars, and there is an update. Honestly, that would

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Speaker 1: be a good way to do it and be.

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Speaker 4: Either pay ninety dollars to restore it or pay ninety

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Speaker 4: dollars to buy it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, yeah, like, or give her like a larger

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Speaker 1: price from the tailor, like it's gonna cost like three.

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Speaker 4: Hundred dollars to make so expensive it would as long

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Speaker 4: as she doesn't call the tailor herself though, yeah right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you would have to have figured it out. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, the tailor might just give her a

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Speaker 1: bigger price than ninety dollars. I would assume that making

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Speaker 1: things bigger costs way more than making things slong.

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Speaker 5: Adding fabric bag.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's gonna be asking me rough. We do have

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Speaker 1: an update, So this is three days later. First of all,

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Speaker 1: I want to address the people saying the original post

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Speaker 1: was made to promote the dress. I literally just wanted

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Speaker 1: to know if there was any chance it could be

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Speaker 1: realtered because my friend was only willing to pay for

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Speaker 1: re alteration.

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Speaker 4: Oh okay, so she is flat out saying I'm repaying,

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Speaker 4: willing to repay, I'm willing.

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Speaker 5: To pay for re alteration.

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Speaker 1: She did, Yeah, she did say she was willing to

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Speaker 1: pay that, but she's not willing to pay for.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, then I totally just say price is higher.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, like okay, great, and then just don't get

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Speaker 1: it altered, just like tell her what the price.

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Speaker 5: Is and then honestly, just buy any dress.

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Speaker 1: Promoting the dress would benefit me in no way whatsoever. Now,

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Speaker 1: on that matter, I have spoken to dressmakers, tailor's dress experts,

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Speaker 1: and they all say that the dress cannot be restored

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Speaker 1: to its original size and form since it is made

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Speaker 1: from satin. I even went to the actual shop where

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Speaker 1: my friend had it altered, but they also said there

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Speaker 1: was nothing they could do. Anyway, my former friend still

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Speaker 1: refused to pay me and is still being a crappy person. Plus,

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Speaker 1: she had the nerve to ask me to just give

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Speaker 1: it to her or sell it to her at a

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Speaker 1: lower price, and it got me wondering if that was

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Speaker 1: her motive all lost much.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, now it makes sense.

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Speaker 4: She's like, I really like this, I'll just get it

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Speaker 4: to fit me to have to give it to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like if you have, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: little little cupcakes to share for everyone. It's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I already liked that one, that one has to be mine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like you can't just

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Speaker 1: undo that. She probably knew the dress cannot be realtered.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. After all that, I've decided to just

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Speaker 1: cut her off and take the high road. I honestly

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Speaker 1: don't have the time or energy to chase her down

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Speaker 1: for ninety dollars. I know I can buy another huge

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Speaker 1: dress with the ninety dollars, but I'd pay triple that

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Speaker 1: to never ever speak.

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Speaker 5: To her or see her again, and that's fair, That's

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Speaker 5: so fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I ended up giving the dress to my roommate,

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Speaker 1: who isn't a crappy and thankfully it fits her perfectly

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Speaker 1: with some minor addressments on the sides. Maybe so at

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Speaker 1: least the dress didn't completely go to waste. Sorry if

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Speaker 1: this isn't the dramatic updates some of you wanted. I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of you were hoping I would take

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Speaker 1: her to small claims courts, but I'm choosing peace. If

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Speaker 1: anything happens, i'll update, But for my sake, I hope

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Speaker 1: that she stays the away from me. And that's the

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Speaker 1: end of the story. We're going on to the next one.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to let stranger hijack my friend's Giving party

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Speaker 2: with a surprise proposal.

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Speaker 1: Stranger danger, Stranger danger, Yes.

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Speaker 2: You strange man, you will never be married. Hi thirty

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Speaker 2: one mail host of Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving dinner. Every year

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Speaker 2: before actual Thanksgiving, family and close friends come over and

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Speaker 2: we do the traditional feast, games, activities, and you know,

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Speaker 2: pretty normal stuff. This year we invited a friend, Jackie.

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Speaker 2: We have played games with her online for years, but

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Speaker 2: only met her in person this past March. He brought

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Speaker 2: a new partner, Mike thirty mail. None of us really

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Speaker 2: liked it, mostly because he insists on bringing up politics

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Speaker 2: in literally any conversation, but he seemed like a decent

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Speaker 2: enough guy otherwise. For context, Jackie and Mike had only

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Speaker 2: been dating for about a month when we met him,

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Speaker 2: so it was a very new relationship. We invited Jackie

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Speaker 2: to friends Giving this year, and we were told Mike

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Speaker 2: would not make it due to work. Cool, no big deal.

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Speaker 2: Until tonight I got a text from Mike, not Jackie. Mike.

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Speaker 2: He said he could actually come to Friendsgiving after all,

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Speaker 2: but he didn't want Jackie to know what. Then he

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Speaker 2: told me he would arrive around six pm and that

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Speaker 2: we needed to be ready to take a bunch of

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Speaker 2: pictures because this guy wanted to propose to her at

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Speaker 2: my friends Giving.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing. Even though we've known Jackie for years,

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Speaker 2: we do not know her super well personally. We rarely

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Speaker 2: talked about our real lives while gaming. Only in the

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Speaker 2: past ten months has she become more involved in the

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Speaker 2: friend group. Outside of talking about League of Legems. We

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Speaker 2: do not know much about her relationship with Mike. I

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Speaker 2: do not even know if they live together, and again,

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Speaker 2: I have met this man one time in my entire life.

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Speaker 2: What really gets me is that he already took off work,

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Speaker 2: bought the ring, made a whole plan, did not consult me,

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Speaker 2: and basically just told me this is what he's doing

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Speaker 2: at my friend's giving, as if it was a done deal.

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Speaker 2: A week and a half before Friendsgiving is when he

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Speaker 2: revealed his secret plot. Friendsgiving is usually for my immediate

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Speaker 2: family because on actual Thanksgiving I go to my fiance's

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Speaker 2: family's house. So it feels really weird to have a

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Speaker 2: guy I barely know propose at my house to a

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Speaker 2: friend I care about but don't know well in terms

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Speaker 2: of her personal or romantic life. I do not know

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Speaker 2: if she even wants to get married. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if this is kind of rushed and half baked proposal

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Speaker 2: is something she would appreciate. Not only that, but I

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Speaker 2: really do not want to be part of a potentially

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Speaker 2: disastrous moment. I wanted to say no, but I also

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Speaker 2: felt bad because Jackie doesn't have many friends in this

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Speaker 2: state and her family lives across the country. I get

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Speaker 2: why Big Mike thinks this is the perfect setting. There

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Speaker 2: are people she knows and a big gathering. But I

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Speaker 2: think he wildly misunderstands how close we all are, and

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Speaker 2: he's putting me in a super uncomfortable position. Am I

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Speaker 2: the AO if I tell Mike he cannot propose at

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Speaker 2: my friend's giving? And there is an edit in my post.

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Speaker 2: I originally stated that he said, this is what I

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Speaker 2: am doing at your friends giving? Are you cool with that?

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Speaker 2: But actually he did not ask. He simply said, I

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Speaker 2: want to make it a surprise for Jackie. I pulled

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Speaker 2: some strings to get the day off, but I told

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Speaker 2: her I was doing some drills this weekend, the weekend

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Speaker 2: of friendsgiving. I just need someone to take some pictures

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Speaker 2: and videos. Can you do that? He never actually asked

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Speaker 2: me if I was okay with it. He just asked

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Speaker 2: me to take pictures and videos. And we have an

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Speaker 2: actual update. I received a lot of helpful replies last night.

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Speaker 2: I decided to paint Mike a better picture of what

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Speaker 2: kind of event this would be and who all would

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Speaker 2: be attending, and gently tell him this might not be

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Speaker 2: the best time, our place to do this. I also

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Speaker 2: told him plans were already made and set to be

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Speaker 2: at three pm, so his a rival time of six

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Speaker 2: pm would not work. He has yet to reply to

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Speaker 2: me yet. He is posting on his Instagram story. As

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Speaker 2: I type this out, it has been over twelve hours.

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Speaker 2: I will update when something happens, and we have another

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Speaker 2: update something happened.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. What do you think she could even

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Speaker 1: do just to make this not happen.

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Speaker 2: I think you just you just say no, yeah, no, no, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think you would. You'd have to say no, and

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Speaker 1: then if he insists or if he doesn't respond, you

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Speaker 1: have to be like, well, I'm gonna tell her that

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do that if you if you don't tell

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Speaker 1: me that you're gonna not do it.

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Speaker 2: I think you say, Mike, I can't have you do

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Speaker 2: this because I'm the one who's in love with you, Mike.

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Speaker 5: I was already gonna propose.

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Speaker 2: A moment I saw you that one time that I've

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Speaker 2: seen you once, I knew you were mine forever. Oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh, And I just want to and I want you,

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Speaker 2: I want you more.

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Speaker 1: You do the thing where like he stands up to

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Speaker 1: make his toast and you're like, wait, I have something

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Speaker 1: to say, yeah, and then you beat him to it.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually better at Jackie at legal legends, so you

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Speaker 2: should marry me, He said, there's another update after my text.

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Speaker 2: Mike responded, stating that he would just arrive earlier and

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Speaker 2: explain that Jackie's ideal proposal was a New Year's Eve

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Speaker 2: type proposal with close friends but not a crowd, so

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Speaker 2: this event was perfect. He also said she told him

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Speaker 2: it must be recorded. I asked if he knew how

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Speaker 2: she wanted to be dressed for the proposal, since the

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Speaker 2: videos and pictures were going to be something they looked

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Speaker 2: back on. He did not know how she wanted to

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Speaker 2: be dressed, but assumed a little dressy. He told me

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Speaker 2: to record from his point of view and have someone

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Speaker 2: else record from her point of view as he's walking

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Speaker 2: in the house while everyone is eating, then he would

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Speaker 2: propose after he walked through the door. I was starting

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Speaker 2: to see that his plan was not aligning with her

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Speaker 2: ideal proposal. I reiterated that this was an event where

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Speaker 2: I was hosting my family and my friends from childhood

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Speaker 2: and college. She would only know about five people out

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Speaker 2: of the seventeen, so this probably was not going to

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Speaker 2: fit the close friends and not a crowd vibe she

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Speaker 2: asked for. I also explained it was super casual and

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Speaker 2: not a dressy thing. And the last event I invited

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Speaker 2: her to, she showed up in sweats. I told Mike

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Speaker 2: that I loved his idea of surprising Jackie and that

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Speaker 2: he should definitely still come because it would make her day.

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Speaker 2: It just didn't seem like a good timing since we

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Speaker 2: never got to plant it together, and it felt like

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Speaker 2: a last minute heads up for something so important for

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Speaker 2: both of them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I ended it by saying we would all pitch in

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Speaker 2: to set up something special and on a small scale

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Speaker 2: for them. Mike did not respond for a few days.

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Speaker 2: I reached out again this morning asking if he saw

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Speaker 2: my text. He said, oh, sorry, just saw this. I

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Speaker 2: have already rescheduled with work, which is really difficult to do.

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Speaker 2: I was able to encourage her to wear a dress.

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Speaker 2: I have been planting seeds for this. Sorry, I will

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Speaker 2: need to think about it. No, you won't because you're

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Speaker 2: not gonna do it. I don't want you to do it.

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Speaker 2: Don't do it. Are you really gonna do this?

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Speaker 1: You're running out of time. A few days have gone by,

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Speaker 1: Mike just not responding at all, and it was a

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Speaker 1: week we got a week and a half noticed.

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Speaker 2: A week and a half. Is that like how long

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Speaker 2: he's planned it as well. It's like he was like,

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Speaker 2: this will be a great idea. I think maybe I'll propose.

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Speaker 2: He's my solf a wife.

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Speaker 1: You can't be mad at me for not having a

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Speaker 1: plan set yet. I only thought about this like a

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Speaker 1: couple of days ago. You give me a second to

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Speaker 1: plan a proposal.

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Speaker 2: So I did not respond immediately so I could think

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Speaker 2: of how to say it again. You could just say, Mike,

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Speaker 2: this is not happening. Yeah, you're not doing this here, Mike,

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Speaker 2: You're now actually uninvited.

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Speaker 3: Mike.

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Speaker 2: Before I could respond, he messaged me again, saying he

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Speaker 2: spoke to his brother, who agreed with me about if

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Speaker 2: Jackie didn't know the majority of people there, then it

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Speaker 2: wouldn't fit what she wanted. He said he was now

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Speaker 2: going to pivot and set up something special for the

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Speaker 2: two of them at home the next day, and he

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Speaker 2: would still come and surprise her and join us for

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Speaker 2: dinner in games. Sorry for not having a client maactic

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Speaker 2: ending like many of you were hoping for, But I

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Speaker 2: feel this is the best case scenario. I still feel

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Speaker 2: like it's bad for Jackie. She's gonna get proposed to

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Speaker 2: by Big Mike.

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Speaker 1: I need this to just happen and we need to

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Speaker 1: see what Jackie's reaction is.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but unfortunately I don't think that'll be the case here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for all your help and replies.

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Speaker 2: It really helped me navigate this weird situation. And that

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Speaker 2: is the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: I need to hear from Jackie. My best friend got

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Speaker 1: pregnant again by the husband who cheated through her first pregnancy.

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Speaker 2: Why are we gonna do this again?

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Speaker 1: Manh I thirty one female am over of my best

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Speaker 1: friend's thirty six female relationships slash and baby daddy drama.

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Speaker 2: I am too, and I haven't even heard any of it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Before she Mia got pregnant the first time, several people,

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Speaker 1: including myself, told her that the guy who we will

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Speaker 1: call Dean was not relationship material. And this comes from

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Speaker 1: one of our followers, just letting you guys know.

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Speaker 2: It's one of you, one of our own.

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Speaker 1: And Opie says this advice was also based knowing some facts.

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Speaker 1: Mia had originally told me that he only had one

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Speaker 1: baby mama with two kids, and he barely spoke to

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Speaker 1: the oldest but kept calling his baby mama my love

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Speaker 1: and sweetheart, pet names that you wouldn't call someone if

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Speaker 1: the relationship was over. While they made things official, Dean's family,

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Speaker 1: with the exception of one sister, treated Mia horribly. They

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Speaker 1: said she wasn't wife material because Mia would not always

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Speaker 1: cook for him, pack his lunch, keep the house nicely clean,

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Speaker 1: and to no one's surprise, Missus Dean would tell Mia

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Speaker 1: that she needed to get over Dean sweet talking his

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Speaker 1: baby mamas. If you guys caught the plural part of mama's,

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Speaker 1: you have a great attention to detail. When Mia was

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Speaker 1: venting about Missus Dean's behavior, I asked, did he just

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Speaker 1: find out that he has more kids around? Nope? Mia

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Speaker 1: just knew one baby mama would be acceptable if he

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Speaker 1: wasn't a total a whole. Turns out Dean has three

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Speaker 1: baby mamas and five kids. Wow. Within a few months,

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Speaker 1: Mia finds out that she is pregnant, which great for

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Speaker 1: her because she had always wanted to be a mom.

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Speaker 1: I was happy for her and really hoping that she

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Speaker 1: would not become the fourth baby mama and that he

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Speaker 1: would learn from his previous mistakes. Dean moves in with

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Speaker 1: her and her family, since she was still living with

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Speaker 1: her parents. Sadly, Dean cheats on her during her pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: If I remember correctly, a couple of months after being postpartum,

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Speaker 1: he mentions all the weight that she's gained and how

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Speaker 1: it's hard for him to be attracted to her. What

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Speaker 1: happens a year later, Mia gets married to Dean. She

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Speaker 1: didn't tell anyone in the state she lives in. You

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Speaker 1: can ask someone in the court to be your witness. Literally,

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Speaker 1: she did not tell anyone For a while. Dean continues

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Speaker 1: to cheat on Mia while living with her parents, barely

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Speaker 1: providing anything for the baby. When he does give me

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Speaker 1: a money, he makes a big deal about it. Eventually,

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Speaker 1: the woman he was cheating with gets pregnant. Great goes

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Speaker 1: to MIA's house and threatens her what MIA's mom and

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Speaker 1: dad get angry and basically tell her that she either

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Speaker 1: gets rid of Dean or they will punt her and

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Speaker 1: Diana out because they are concerned for the baby's safety.

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Speaker 1: Mia punts Diana out up to this point. I kind

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Speaker 1: of do understand her choices of wanting a family and

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Speaker 1: occasionally being love bombed by this man. Dean goes to

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Speaker 1: live with the other lady. At this point, the kid

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Speaker 1: is two and a half fast forward, the kid has

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Speaker 1: started kindergarten. While she has seen her dad a few times,

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Speaker 1: she would call him by his nickname. Mind you. Mia

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Speaker 1: would beg Dean to come around for the kid's birthday, holidays,

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Speaker 1: et cetera, but he wouldn't because he felt awkward around

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Speaker 1: her family and friends. Ooo freaking who. Anyway, back in July,

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Speaker 1: he told his sister, the one that does get along

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Speaker 1: with Mia, that he wanted to try to fix his

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Speaker 1: marriage for whatever reason they were still married, and that

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Speaker 1: he was willing to try couple's therapy and wanted to

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Speaker 1: do whatever it took.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, how about you stop having relationships with all of

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Speaker 2: your other baby mama's Yeah.

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Speaker 1: He tells Mia the same thing a night they went

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Speaker 1: to the movies with the child. At this point, he

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Speaker 1: is still living with the other woman. He tells Mia

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Speaker 1: that he no longer wants to live with the other

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Speaker 1: woman and wants to be there for his own kids

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Speaker 1: and not another man's kid. Excuse me, that's actually your

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Speaker 1: kid that you put in another woman.

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Speaker 2: Yes, oh, that's technically yourrs My guy.

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Speaker 1: Everyone in MIA's life tells her to take things slow,

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Speaker 1: that she should not move in with him until she

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Speaker 1: sees actual change. Everyone tells her that if he does

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Speaker 1: not want to live with the woman, he can get

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Speaker 1: his own place and live alone for a year. That

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Speaker 1: Deed needs to show he is consistent one to three years.

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Speaker 1: Come September, she puts a deposit down for a place.

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Speaker 1: I'm really proud of her because she doesn't have the

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Speaker 1: best relationship with her mom and should have gotten her

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Speaker 1: own place a long time ago. I flew back home

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Speaker 1: at the end of October. Mea invited me to sleep over,

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Speaker 1: which I was super excited about. I had not seen

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Speaker 1: her in a while. She tells me as we were

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Speaker 1: making plans, Dean can sleep in the living room, which

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Speaker 1: threw me off. She had not mentioned that they moved

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Speaker 1: in together. When we hung out, we talked about things,

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00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,120
Speaker 1: she said things were not working out. Shortly after them

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Speaker 1: moving in together, Dean's character had not changed. Anyone's surprised by.

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Speaker 2: Color me the color of surprise.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. Instead of cutting ties with the other woman,

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Speaker 1: he goes into business with her older son. What where

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Speaker 1: is it?

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Speaker 2: That's not what you do, guys, Dean. This whole time

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Speaker 2: he's Dean's just been an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 1: That's all. Guys.

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Speaker 2: He's like, I'll have a billion babies and then I'll

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Speaker 2: make businesses with them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, it's still around her. He lets

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Speaker 1: the woman borrow his car. Mia said, what hurts is

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Speaker 1: now that the child is attached to her dad and

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00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:14,480
Speaker 1: now calls him dad. But we all freaking told her this.

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00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,360
Speaker 1: So now to where we are now. Mia finds out

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Speaker 1: that she's pregnant. She says she doesn't know how this happened.

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Speaker 2: Well, you take a bean, You take a bean? Are

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Speaker 2: you taking acorn?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 2: And you plant it?

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Speaker 1: Got it? So of course I ask, well, did you

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00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: have spicy sleep? Did you use protection? They had spicy

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00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 1: sleep several times without protection. I'm not sure what she expected.

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Speaker 1: I think I figured out how you got pregnant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the way she was going about this feels childish. Well,

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Speaker 1: she already has a kid she needs to think about.

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Speaker 1: Mia makes around sixteen dollars an hour. She does usually

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Speaker 1: manage her finance as well, but since she put down

437
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 1: the money for the new place, a lot of that

438
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 1: has been drained. Dean already barely helped her with anything. Obviously,

439
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 1: I can't fully cut ties with the other woman. Mia

440
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,199
Speaker 1: seems to want advice. Personally, I wouldn't go through with

441
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: having another baby with this man. Her response, well, the

442
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,639
Speaker 1: kid says she really wants a brother or sister, and

443
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: I'm just like, okay, give her a sibling with a

444
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 1: better man. I'm just furious she puts herself and the

445
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 1: child in this situation, and now there's a possibility of

446
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,480
Speaker 1: a second child who will have Dean as a dad

447
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 1: seven kids Dean barely cares for. I'm upset and Mia

448
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 1: didn't put her child's needs first for her cookie cutter

449
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: idea of a family. I'm upset and Mia feels like

450
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: she can't or doesn't deserve better when she genuinely cares

451
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 1: for others so deeply and deserves an angel of a man.

452
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 1: I'm also mad how much she tries to cover for him.

453
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: I really want to be a supportive friend and feel

454
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,679
Speaker 1: like I'm selfish for being so angry when I'm sure

455
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: she's feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I don't know what

456
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 1: to say. I don't know if I can handle her

457
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: putting herself down instead of making a decision of keeping

458
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 1: the baby or not and just owning it. I don't

459
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 1: know what to say if she stays with him because

460
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: now it's two kids, and continues to complain about him

461
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,199
Speaker 1: because it feels like she put herself there. I just

462
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: don't know how to be a good friend right now,

463
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: and that is the end of the story.

464
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,720
Speaker 4: My girlfriend refused to learn sign language from my daughters,

465
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:20,359
Speaker 4: so I called her out and that was sign language

466
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 4: for our listeners. Yeah, my daughter Ruby was born mute.

467
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 4: She can understand words, but we use sign language to communicate.

468
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,640
Speaker 4: While she can use her phone or write, she obviously

469
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 4: prefers to sign.

470
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 5: The issue is my girlfriend Amanda.

471
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Throwaway am I the

472
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 4: Aita eight three seventeen and if you want us to

473
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 4: make your own stories, go to the r slash okay

474
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 4: storytimes subreddit.

475
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 6: I'm Carle, I'm Sophia.

476
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:50,920
Speaker 3: Sofia with hiccups. Yeah, I'm Kean, and that's Vincent and we're.

477
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 4: Here to give good advice goofully. But we don't have

478
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what weird, what we

479
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 4: to do, so let us know what you would do

480
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,959
Speaker 4: in the comments and opiece. We've been dating for around

481
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 4: nine months and we introduced our children about three months ago.

482
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 4: They don't know sign language, so communication with Ruby was

483
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 4: awkward at first. She hates having to write or use

484
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 4: her phone at home. I taught Amanda some basic signs beforehand,

485
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 4: and I've continued teaching her and Mia more in this time.

486
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 4: MIA's getting a lot better, actually, but Amanda has apparently

487
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 4: decided it's too hard and refuses to learn anymore. She

488
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 4: said that it's unnecessary since Ruby can understand her and

489
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 4: communicate in other ways. While Ruby is usually willing to

490
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 4: do that for them, she doesn't enjoy it and finds

491
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 4: it frustrating. I told Amanda she's being selfish and lazy.

492
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 4: It's not fair to put all the effort on Ruby.

493
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 4: It's one thing if she doesn't get it after years,

494
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 4: but it's only but a few months. It's just ridiculous.

495
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 4: We got into a fight over it, and she basically

496
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 4: called me an a hole and said it's not her fault.

497
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 4: She struggles with it, but that doesn't I mean she

498
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 4: should just give up if she wants to be in

499
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 4: our life. It's the bare minimum effort to put in.

500
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 4: I think she's just being selfish while she thinks I'm

501
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 4: an a hole and unfair. I vented to my brother

502
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 4: and he agreed with Amanda. He said, I can't force

503
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 4: her to learn, and not everyone is good with language.

504
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 4: He also said Ruby doesn't need it, and then I'm

505
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,719
Speaker 4: coddling her. I'm honestly still pissed off, but I do

506
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 4: love Amanda. She's normally thoughtful and kind, and I guess

507
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 4: it's possible it's just me being overprotective of Ruby. It's

508
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 4: not Amanda sucks. I think it's a reasonable expectation, but

509
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 4: I'm starting to doubt myself. Am I the A hole.

510
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 4: We have some comments. Commenter one, not the a hole.

511
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 4: This should be a deal breaker for you, OPI says,

512
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 4: I've been thinking it might be, but my brother's reaction

513
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 4: made me doubt myself. She's never been.

514
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 5: Like this before, so it took me by surprise.

515
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 4: Comment to not the A Hole. Do you see a

516
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 4: future with a woman who point blank refuses to speak

517
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 4: to your daughter? OPI says, it's not that she refuses,

518
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 4: they I do have a way to talk, it's just

519
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 4: not as preferred to her.

520
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 1: Either way.

521
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 4: I think it's wrong. I was already thinking it was

522
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 4: worth ending it. It's just my brother and her got

523
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 4: in my head and I worried I was crazy. That

524
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 4: person replies, you're not crazy. This is a red flag

525
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 4: for your brother too. I hope he has learned sign

526
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 4: so he can communicate with your daughter. Maybe this is

527
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 4: the way of excusing his own lack of engagement. Commenter three,

528
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 4: Your girlfriend being unwilling to make a minimal effort to

529
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 4: communicate with your child in a way that the child

530
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 4: is most comfortable with is a bit of an a

531
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,840
Speaker 4: whole move. But so is expecting your girlfriend of nine

532
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,399
Speaker 4: months to learn an entire language to communicate with the

533
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 4: child they aren't parenting. It seems like you've drawn a

534
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 4: line in the sand that Amana that Amanda learns to

535
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 4: sign for your kid, or she's not gonna be in

536
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,959
Speaker 4: your life. Amanda has shown you she's not up for that,

537
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 4: so respond accordingly. Everyone sucks here. Comment to four are

538
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 4: gonna go against the grain here and say you're the

539
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,280
Speaker 4: a hole not for wanting to protect your daughter, but

540
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 4: for not divulging to your girlfriend the real reason you

541
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 4: want her to learn sign language. Telling your girlfriend that

542
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 4: communicating in a way they do is frustrating for her

543
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 4: can make someone completely one eighty. Telling her she's being

544
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 4: lazy and selfish is exactly what she responded to unfair

545
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 4: and in a hole. Your tone, saying she apparently decided

546
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 4: it was too hard paints a bigger picture for me.

547
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 4: You've not given her a great reason to learn, called

548
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 4: her selfish for not communicating despite them having a reason,

549
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 4: and called her lazy for not picking it up in

550
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 4: the short time they've known each other.

551
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 6: That's not I feel like that part.

552
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 4: Was misinterpreted a lot like it wasn't. I'm mad that

553
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 4: my girlfriend Amanda hasn't picked up sign language in nine months.

554
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 4: I'm mad that she just started to learn it after

555
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 4: nine months and is already giving up.

556
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, like literally she said this is too like you know, paraphrasing,

557
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 6: but this is too hard. I don't want to do anymore.

558
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 4: Nine or so months in and she's like, I'm gonna

559
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 4: start learning sign great ten and of ten and then.

560
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, I was like, this is really And then like

561
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 6: other people around you are like, well, some people just

562
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,160
Speaker 6: can't do languages. Languages are hard. Languages are really hard.

563
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 6: I don't know any other languages because they're really hard.

564
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 6: But if I had a family member or a friend

565
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 6: or someone who could only communicate in that way, I'd

566
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 6: certainly try. I'd certainly put in a lot more work

567
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 6: than just like a little bit and then give off.

568
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 4: You set her up for failure in the first place,

569
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 4: and that alone, and for that alone, you're the a home.

570
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,719
Speaker 4: If you had given her the reasoning, not called her lazy,

571
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 4: and given her more time to learn it, then it

572
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 4: would be on her.

573
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 5: You haven't, so it isn't. We have an updates.

574
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 4: I want to thank everyone for the advice and responses.

575
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 4: I definitely don't agree with everything, but I can see

576
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 4: both sides. First, I do want to clear some stuff up.

577
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 4: I'm not sure why so many people act like I

578
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 4: sprung it on Amanda.

579
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 5: I never said I did, and I certainly didn't.

580
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 1: I told her.

581
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 4: Upfront about Ruby and was clear that I expected a

582
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 4: partner to be willing to put in the effort for

583
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 4: her sake. I also never criticized Amanda for not being fluent.

584
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 4: I had no expectation it would be easy or quick. Heck,

585
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: I struggled at first. I've never insulted her or had

586
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 4: issues with her progress. My only issue was that she

587
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 4: refused to try anymore.

588
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 6: Yeah, that was really clear.

589
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, while my words were immature, it was only after

590
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 4: she basically said it wasn't worth learning sign language that

591
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 4: I got upset and said it. I find the idea

592
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 4: it's too soon, honestly strange. Wouldn't it be worse for

593
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 4: us to be engaged or married before I know? If

594
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 4: she's willing to put in the effort.

595
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 5: For my daughter, I don't expect perfection, just for her

596
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 5: to try.

597
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 3: Yeah.

598
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 4: I understand that Ruby needs to be able to communicate

599
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 4: in other ways. She has to for school, but that

600
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 4: doesn't mean she should be forced to at home. Besides

601
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 4: all this, I did consider our relationship serious. I love Amanda.

602
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 4: With that aside, I think it's mostly been resolved. Amanda

603
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,080
Speaker 4: came over and apologized for how she acted Kay. She

604
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 4: explained that she had been trying to how much she

605
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 4: was struggling and got frustrated seeing how quickly Mia was

606
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 4: getting it while she understood nothing. Basically, Amanda was seeing

607
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 4: how quickly and effortlessly I was getting close to Mia

608
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 4: and was feeling like she was useless with her lack

609
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 4: of progress, especially knowing how important it was to me.

610
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 4: We had a long talk about it. I apologized for

611
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 4: my immature reaction and explained that it was always non

612
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 4: negotiable for me and I brought up that if it

613
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 4: would make her miserable and resentful, it may be better

614
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 4: to separate. Amanda did not like that, and we talked

615
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 4: about our relationship and expectations. I considered it serious the

616
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 4: moment she met Ruby. While Amanda didn't see it quite

617
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 4: the same way, she knew she wanted me in her

618
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 4: life and understood that meant she had to try with Ruby.

619
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 4: I'm glad they had a big talk, though.

620
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, it seems like this was positive. You kind of

621
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 6: got like that. It was a lot of just fear

622
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 6: about learning a language, which I don't want to you know,

623
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 6: I don't want to say that amanda is is not valid,

624
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 6: and being frustrated because I remember learning asl on Zoom too,

625
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 6: so it was even harder. Oh my god, it was terrible,

626
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 6: And being like I don't you know, it's not like

627
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 6: languages like spoken languages, because you have there are no

628
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 6: cheat sheets, you know, like you can't go like their

629
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 6: Spanish dictionary for Spanish and.

630
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 5: There's like still dictionaries.

631
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

632
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 6: Absolutely, but when you're like, it's not like a thing

633
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 6: that you can read and write down, you have to

634
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 6: like you would have to like look up videos for

635
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 6: me at least of like how that sign is done.

636
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 6: There are certain signs that are easy to look at,

637
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 6: but but my point is it's it is a hard language,

638
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 6: especially if you've never done anything like it.

639
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's also so much like social aspect behind it.

640
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 4: Of like when someone's signing to you, you're still supposed

641
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 4: to look at their face.

642
00:30:58,760 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 5: You're not supposed to look.

643
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 4: At their hand while they're sighting understanding what their hands

644
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 4: are saying kind of thing.

645
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 5: And it's so facial driven.

646
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 6: So I like totally get that she's struggling, is frustrated.

647
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 5: It was just the fact that she was completely done.

648
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, exactly.

649
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 4: Amanda has decided to find her own professional teaching.

650
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 6: That's amazing.

651
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's great.

652
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 4: She thinks it will be better for her frustration to

653
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 4: show there than with Ruby or Eye. I'll keep teaching

654
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 4: me up because she really enjoys it. It doesn't matter

655
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 4: whether she is fluent, as long as she's trying. I

656
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 4: know Ruby will appreciate the effort. For now, Ruby will

657
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 4: still have to use other methods to communicate she was anyway,

658
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 4: but hopefully one day she won't have to. Unfortunately, my

659
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 4: brother stands by what he says. He said that even

660
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 4: though Amanda has given in, it was still unfair of

661
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 4: me that I'm lucky Amanda is willing to put up

662
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 4: with it. I've honestly lost a lot of respect for

663
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 4: him with all of this. I don't understand how he

664
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 4: can still think that about Ruby and I Still overall,

665
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 4: I'd say it's gone well. Thanks for the advice. Whichever

666
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 4: way you lent, I think we'll be able to get

667
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,680
Speaker 4: through it. And that is the end of that story.

668
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here, and we're

669
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 2: going to get back to the stories. But here's three

670
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

671
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 6: My boyfriend's best friend has been cheating and he was

672
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 6: helping him out.

673
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 5: Dumbum.

674
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 6: My boyfriend Sammy twenty seven male and I twenty five

675
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 6: female have been dating for almost two years now and

676
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 6: have a wonderful relationship. His best friend, John twenty seven

677
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 6: mail is really nice too, and I get along great

678
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 6: with him. John has been dating Lauren for the past

679
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 6: five years, and because our s os are lifelong best friends,

680
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 6: she and I also developed a good friendship. By the way,

681
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,479
Speaker 6: this comes from Angry Angry f F and if you

682
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 6: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

683
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 6: slash Okay storytime subvered it.

684
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and that's Vincent.

685
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: And that's Vincent.

686
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 6: And we're here to give goodbye scoof.

687
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

688
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: what we.

689
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 6: Do, So let us note you do in the comments,

690
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 6: and Op says about two weeks ago, Lauren discovered that

691
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 6: John was cheating on her with multiple partners. There was

692
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 6: a ton of evidence, and Lauren broke up with him immediately.

693
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 6: I felt bad about the situation because Lauren had become

694
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 6: a friend to me too. I talked to my boyfriend

695
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 6: about how I didn't like the fact that his best

696
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 6: friend is a cheater. I am a big believer that

697
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 6: the company you keep says a lot about you.

698
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 5: Well it does.

699
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: You were right, Ope, you.

700
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 2: Were really right.

701
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 6: He said that the whole thing had caught him by

702
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 6: surprise too, but insisted that he and John were friends

703
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 6: because they had similar hobbies and a circle of friends,

704
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 6: and that he loved me too much to ever hurt

705
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 6: me like that. Fast forward to today, when I called

706
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 6: Lauren to meet up and have lunch. Some time with

707
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 6: each other. This was the first time I had called

708
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 6: her after their breakup, and I wanted her to know

709
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 6: that there was no reason why our friendship had to end.

710
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:08,320
Speaker 6: Lauren was furious on the line, saying stuff like, how

711
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 6: dare you call me after you helped him cheat on me?

712
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,759
Speaker 6: I thought you were my friend. You should have told me.

713
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 6: I got her to calm down and explain that I

714
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 6: had no idea that John was cheating, and if I

715
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 6: had known, I would have told her right away. That's

716
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 6: when she told me that my boyfriend Sammy knew that

717
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 6: John was cheating and had covered for John literally dozens

718
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 6: of times, stuff like, oh yeah, Lauren, John's at my house.

719
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 6: We're hanging out, and John's aid his nephew's baseball game.

720
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 6: You said he'll be back around four, just blatantly lying

721
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 6: to cover for his best friend. Lauren sent me pictures

722
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 6: and screenshots that proved without a doubt that my boyfriend

723
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 6: had known about it for years and actively helped his

724
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 6: friend cheat on his girlfriend. I am beyond furious. What

725
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 6: the two of them did to Lauren is horrible, But

726
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 6: I'm also scared because if his best friend is a

727
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 6: cheater and he helped his best friend cheat. What does

728
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,320
Speaker 6: that say about him? Nothing good? He literally saw Lauren

729
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 6: every single week and referred to her as my little

730
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 6: sister and had no problem looking her in the eyes

731
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 6: and lying. This all happened just today, and I'm seeing

732
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,479
Speaker 6: my boyfriend this weekend. I'm literally angry to the point

733
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 6: where I'm ready to break up with him. Am I

734
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,479
Speaker 6: wrong for getting mad at him over helping his best

735
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 6: friend do something?

736
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:27,720
Speaker 1: Horrible?

737
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 6: And relevant? Comments deleted says, Dang, this is really bad.

738
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 6: My first thought if I were you, would be to

739
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 6: wonder if John has ever covered for your boyfriend. This

740
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 6: opens a huge can of worms. What else do they

741
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,879
Speaker 6: cover for each other? If I had a girlfriend cover

742
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 6: like this for a friend, I'd be disgusted. Sounds like

743
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 6: he did it a ton too. I'd break up. Yep,

744
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 6: this says a lot about his character. I'm sure I'll

745
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,800
Speaker 6: give you a whole, but I'm just looking out for

746
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 6: my best friend. Nonsense, I wouldn't hear it. This would

747
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 6: be an ender. Treetop Tree says, I wonder how many

748
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 6: times John covered for Sammy cheating? Silver Raven says, your

749
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 6: boyfriend helped his friend cheat. Your boyfriend then said he

750
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 6: loved you too much to do anything like that to you,

751
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 6: and then lie to you about knowing and helping his

752
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 6: friend cheat. It makes me wonder how many times John

753
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 6: is covered up for Sammy. I mean, it took Lauren

754
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 6: five years to figure out John was a cheater. You

755
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 6: could find out three years from now that Sammy is

756
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 6: exactly like John. Sammy approves of cheating, is no issue

757
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 6: with it. Sammy has no problem lying to you. Get

758
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 6: rid of him and call Lauren up. She seems like

759
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 6: the only person worth being around. And ghastly, Citrus says

760
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 6: he made his bed, now he and John can lie

761
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 6: in it together. There is an update fifty three days later.

762
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 6: I was initially going to see my Sammy. Why'd you

763
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 6: say my Sammy?

764
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: My ex?

765
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: Sammy?

766
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 6: Right ex sam Yeah? I think you forgot that right now,

767
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 6: just a few days after I found out what happened,

768
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 6: but cancel on him. I took the week to think,

769
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 6: talk to a few friends, and read over the comments

770
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 6: to my original post. After a bit of thinking, I

771
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 6: decided to break up with them. Whoooooo, Sammy lied to me,

772
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,320
Speaker 6: lied to our mutual friend. Lauren, covered up for cheating

773
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 6: and knew full well that his friend John was having

774
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:24,720
Speaker 6: this spicy sleep with multiple girls and doing it wrong.

775
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 6: He basically decided his friendship with the cheater was more

776
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 6: important than Lauren being exposed to STDs. That was the

777
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 6: deal breaker. I called Sammy on Tuesday and asked him

778
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 6: to meet up with me in a public place. When

779
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 6: we got there, I told him what Lauren had told me.

780
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 6: He initially denied, denied, denied, but I think he could

781
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 6: see from the look on my face that I wasn't

782
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 6: about to be fooled. He literally looked me in the

783
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 6: eyes and said, to be honest, wouldn't it be worship?

784
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 6: I was the kind of kitty who didn't cover for

785
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 6: his friends. Don't you want to mind he's loyal?

786
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 7: You?

787
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,959
Speaker 6: You helped your friend not be loyal.

788
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 7: The most backwards logic, what, I just helped my buddy cheat.

789
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 5: Don't you want someone loyal like that?

790
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,399
Speaker 6: But loyal to my friend, not to you? Of course,

791
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:13,280
Speaker 6: because I did lie.

792
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 3: To you for three years.

793
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 8: I would never be loyal to women woman for you,

794
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 8: but to my homie over here and not. I don't

795
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 8: respect women like that, clearly, but my homies right my

796
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 8: ride or night.

797
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 6: That's crazy, that's a really insane line.

798
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: God out me.

799
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 6: I was upset talking to him, but he said that.

800
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 6: I burst out laughing. I would do. What he was

801
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 6: saying was just so ridiculous, but he said it as

802
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 6: though he was a martyr. I stopped laughing after a second,

803
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 6: but the look on his face changed completely. He leaned

804
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 6: in and said, you stupid witch. We think John was

805
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 6: the only one upping around.

806
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: We know it, I we know it.

807
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 7: Whispa for him to just come out and say that

808
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 7: after dropping I would always be loyal, don't you want

809
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 7: to admire my loyalty? And then next sentence go, I

810
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,879
Speaker 7: mean I was cheating on you too?

811
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: What about it?

812
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 6: Of course he was, But like, wow.

813
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 3: Well he tried, he tried all, he tried, all plans

814
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 3: A through Z.

815
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 6: Yeah that didn't work. Okay, Well let's go like loyalty route. Okay,

816
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:18,239
Speaker 6: that didn't work.

817
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 3: It didn't work. Well, it's just a cute cats out

818
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 3: of the bag. I guess I gotta run with it.

819
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: Any final thoughts.

820
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I'm glad you broke up with him. Yeah,

821
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 4: let's go hang out with Lauren and raise their standards.

822
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Please.

823
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 6: He's never cussed at me before or said anything with

824
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 6: so much anger, especially not with the intent to hurt me.

825
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 6: But for some reason, I just didn't care. I thought

826
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 6: so little of him at that moment that his opinion

827
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,319
Speaker 6: didn't matter to me. It was actually kind of a

828
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 6: comfort that he said that to me, because it proves

829
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 6: that he's an f boy. When people show you who

830
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 6: they are, believe them. So I just got up and left.

831
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,479
Speaker 6: I picked up Chipotle, then went home and watched Making

832
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 6: an un Ali. A few hours later, I called Lauren

833
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 6: and explained to her everything that happened. She comforted me

834
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,400
Speaker 6: that advised me to get tested for STDs immediately. Oh

835
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,720
Speaker 6: she ended up coming with me for support to test,

836
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,840
Speaker 6: and then a week later I got the results that

837
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 6: I'm clean, and so is Lauren. By the way, and

838
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:17,399
Speaker 6: that was that.

839
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 4: My boyfriend wouldn't stop treating me like a servant, so

840
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 4: I ended our relationship.

841
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 6: I'm not your employee.

842
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 4: So me A twenty nine mail and my boyfriend twenty

843
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 4: six mail have been together for six months now and

844
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:35,880
Speaker 4: he's the sweetest and most understanding boyfriend I've had.

845
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: I think.

846
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Simmy Sam.

847
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

848
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay, Storytimes Subreddit.

849
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 5: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia non Vincent, and we're.

850
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 4: Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

851
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 4: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

852
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the

853
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 4: comments and Opie says, But honestly, I feel like I've

854
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,839
Speaker 4: been sacrificing everything for his pleasure and joy from him

855
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 4: always choosing the movies because what I like to watch

856
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 4: is too boring, like Jiblee, Gravity Falls, most of the

857
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 4: cartoons or stuff that isn't filled with passing blood. Gore

858
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,879
Speaker 4: to only going out when he wants to or when

859
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 4: he feels like it. At first, it was small things

860
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 4: like buying headphones so I could listen to my calm

861
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 4: music to help me sleep at night, as it's the

862
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 4: one thing that helps me sleep, whilst he watches random

863
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 4: videos on YouTube to sleep. Apparently my music made it

864
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 4: so we couldn't sleep, and his videos made it so

865
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 4: I couldn't sleep, So I bought headphones for that and

866
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 4: for when we're in the car, as he loves putting

867
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 4: music at like sixteen to eighteen volume so loud we can.

868
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 5: Literally hear him leave and arrive. He says it's because

869
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 5: he's fully deaf.

870
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 4: In one year, I've also had to change everything we

871
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 4: eat due to his allergies, which I understood. I say

872
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:53,479
Speaker 4: wee as I'm basically my mom's personal caretaker right now.

873
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 4: My mom fifty five, is currently on a downward spiral

874
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 4: with her body and memory. I have to comm instantly

875
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 4: be there wherever she goes because she can no longer

876
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 4: remember where anything is. She's also really not good with technology,

877
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 4: and sometimes Google Maps is not one thousand percent accurate.

878
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 4: She already needs to use a cane due to minor

879
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 4: accidents in the past, so she needs help with many things.

880
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 4: In exchange, I get a roof over my head and food. Anyway,

881
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 4: back to my boyfriend. He's been very lazy due to

882
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 4: his studying and plumbing being a lot for him. But

883
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 4: even now that he's out of school for the summer,

884
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,799
Speaker 4: I've not seen any signs of him trying to pick

885
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 4: up after himself. I constantly pick up his clothes and

886
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 4: the dishes he brings into my bedroom when there's a

887
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 4: table upstairs. I made his coffee each morning, did his laundry,

888
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,760
Speaker 4: and I'm basically the one cooking most of the time,

889
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 4: and sometimes he just orders or does something else because

890
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 4: it's not what he likes. I don't mind being the

891
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,040
Speaker 4: stay at home spouse that some help would be nice,

892
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 4: and I told him as such. Recently, we've been renovating

893
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 4: at my place and he has not helped once with

894
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 4: painting or moving furniture due to pain or feeling dizzy

895
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:09,800
Speaker 4: from paint fumes, which I understand, but I, a person

896
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:14,040
Speaker 4: who is by definition a skeleton, have been the one

897
00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 4: doing pretty much everything with the help of my mom

898
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 4: and brother, eighteen male, who is probably leaving for college

899
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 4: in September. I've asked him twice if we could leave

900
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 4: it day early after visiting his parents, because I wanted

901
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 4: to finish everything as soon as possible, but no, he drives,

902
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 4: he decides. The two breaking points that I've recently been

903
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 4: boiling over are about my cats and our personal fun times.

904
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,640
Speaker 4: He has cat allergies and has had a nasty reaction

905
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 4: to my cousin's cats a few months back, but he

906
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 4: was fine when we were at my place.

907
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 5: I have two cats.

908
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,399
Speaker 4: He immediately alluded to getting rid of my mom's cat

909
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 4: to give them away, but I talked him out of it.

910
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 4: We bought an air filter and cleaned the whole house.

911
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:56,720
Speaker 4: We even made sure that the cats couldn't go downstairs anymore.

912
00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 4: Until now everything has been fine, even installed a sliding

913
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 4: door to make extra sure. But today he alluded to

914
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 4: getting rid of them again as his allergies were spiking.

915
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 4: I just don't think I can say. Yes, they are

916
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 4: technically my mom's cats, but they are my babies. They

917
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 4: are around eight and nine years old. Now for the

918
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 4: adult fun time, skip if it's too much. I'm a

919
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 4: bottom in the relationship and he's been a switch, but

920
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 4: cleaning has been very hard for me for a few years,

921
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 4: so I mostly rely on my mouth to pleasure him,

922
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,319
Speaker 4: as my hands didn't do anything. At first, he'd reciprocate,

923
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 4: but now he's stopped. I've mostly been one hand clapping

924
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,440
Speaker 4: in the shower o so he gets all the pleasure.

925
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 4: He's also been living with us rent free since mid February.

926
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 5: I really don't know what to do.

927
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'd ever find someone like him

928
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 4: who understands that I can't move due to my mom.

929
00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:50,239
Speaker 4: But again, I'm tired of giving up everything for him

930
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 4: and playing made He's been a very good help for

931
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,239
Speaker 4: my mental health and I for his. I'm scared of

932
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,439
Speaker 4: what both of us would do if I did leave,

933
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 4: not helped by the fact that he has so much

934
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 4: stuff at.

935
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 5: My place, would I be the a hill. Please have

936
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 5: an update, Please.

937
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 6: Please or not not move, but please like kick him out,

938
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 6: dump it because he sounds like a terrible partner. He

939
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 6: sounds like he's just very not I don't know. It

940
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 6: doesn't seem like there's anything in it for you in

941
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 6: this relationship. It's all very one sided.

942
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 5: Very update.

943
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:21,439
Speaker 1: It's done.

944
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 6: Yay, that was quick.

945
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 4: I was as respectful as I could be and listed

946
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 4: all the things I couldn't stand anymore. Of course, he

947
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 4: threw a sword of tantrum. I told him it started

948
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 4: when he called me boring. Of course he said that

949
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 4: he never did say that. Guess it's true when they

950
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 4: say the axe forgets but the tree remembers. I explained

951
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 4: that staying with me was putting his own health at risk,

952
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 4: and I can't.

953
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 5: Just up and move away from my mom.

954
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:49,040
Speaker 4: At first, he told me to take enough in taxi,

955
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 4: but I reminded him that he still had his stuff

956
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 4: at my place.

957
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:54,760
Speaker 1: Good job, yayoo.

958
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 6: No notes you broke up.

959
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 5: That's all all I have to say. Go for you,

960
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 5: get a stuff out of there.

961
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:00,879
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

962
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 4: We drove back to my place from his parents, during

963
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,879
Speaker 4: which there was more light arguing about what he did

964
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 4: and what he said and didn't say. He pulled the

965
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 4: dark thoughts card, and I just said, you think I don't.

966
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 4: It's hard for me too. We packed his stuff and

967
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 4: put it.

968
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 5: In the car.

969
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,720
Speaker 4: I gave him everything back, though I have to deliver

970
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,120
Speaker 4: some things he forgot to his grandma since she lives

971
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 4: in the same town. I might have been too emotional

972
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 4: at the end and told him to promise me to

973
00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 4: drive safe and not do anything.

974
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 5: Stupid, and he did.

975
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 4: He's gone, and I don't think I'll have any serious

976
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 4: relationship in a while. Sometimes I wish I were a

977
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 4: heavy drinker.

978
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:35,879
Speaker 5: So I could forget it all.

979
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:36,840
Speaker 1: Don't don't do that.

980
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 5: Thank you read it. Even if you only heard my side,

981
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 5: you helped me see it clearly. There's an obligatory catpicklgatory

982
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:51,240
Speaker 5: cat pick God like a cute guy, folks.

983
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 6: That was the cat tax.

984
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 5: It was the end of that story too.

985
00:46:56,960 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 3: My fiance refused to introduce me to her friends. Yet

986
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 3: I'm the controlling one.

987
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 1: Ooh, battle it out, controlling ones.

988
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,839
Speaker 3: My fiance thirty two doesn't want me, twenty eight male,

989
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 3: to talk to her best friends at all before marriage.

990
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 3: We've been dating for at least two and a half

991
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: years and most of it has been public. By public,

992
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 3: I mean that both my fiance and I like to

993
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 3: post pictures or reels of ourselves from vacations or times together,

994
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 3: and we were very clear that we were in a

995
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 3: relationship on the Gram. By the way, this comes from

996
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 3: user ambitious Finish eight seven to nine. And if you

997
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go do the r

998
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 3: slash Okay story time separate it. I'm ke On, I'm Angie,

999
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice goofly, but we

1000
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,799
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we do,

1001
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:46,240
Speaker 3: so please let us know what you do in the comments.

1002
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 3: As Opie says, however, she doesn't have many real life

1003
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 3: followers from her office or personal life on the Gram,

1004
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 3: she has around six seven or eight really good friends

1005
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 3: who she meets regularly, along with one cousin. We decided

1006
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,759
Speaker 3: to get married and set the wedding date for February

1007
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 3: twenty twenty five, six months from now. I introduced her

1008
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 3: to my family last month at a good restaurant in

1009
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 3: the city. My family got to know her and they

1010
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 3: liked her. I took her consent and discussed with my

1011
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 3: family and booked a hall for the marriage. A few

1012
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: days later, she also went and booked a hall for

1013
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 3: her side of the party. In our culture, it's normal

1014
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 3: to have parties from both of the brides and groom sides.

1015
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 3: So far, I've introduced her to my family and one

1016
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 3: female friend of mine who lives in a different town

1017
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 3: with her boyfriend. She also met another friend of mine

1018
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,760
Speaker 3: accidentally in the mall. I was driving my fiance somewhere

1019
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:41,319
Speaker 3: and two or three of her friends hopped in. We

1020
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:43,280
Speaker 3: just spoke a few words as we traveled in the car,

1021
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 3: but her friends were aware that we were dating. Now,

1022
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 3: a strange incident happened last week that left me really confused.

1023
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,479
Speaker 3: I received a text from one of her friends on

1024
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 3: the GRAM. Before this, I had never spoken to this

1025
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 3: friend except for one time a year ago when myance

1026
00:49:00,400 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 3: wasn't talking to me because we had a fight. I

1027
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 3: texted her politely asking if she could talk to my fiance,

1028
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:07,399
Speaker 3: as I felt my fiance was going through a lot

1029
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 3: and might need someone to talk to. She had a

1030
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 3: huge financial loan and had fought with me and her

1031
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 3: family for various reasons. Shortly after, I received a call

1032
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 3: from my fiance regarding me messaging her friend on the GRAM.

1033
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,879
Speaker 3: She was very angry and asked me never to talk

1034
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 3: to her again. I was surprised, but complied, as our

1035
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 3: relationship wasn't stable at that time. A little while later,

1036
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:33,359
Speaker 3: her friend messaged me saying, Hey, sorry, I can't help

1037
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 3: you at this, and then blocked me on the GRAM.

1038
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,760
Speaker 3: Last week, the same friend texted me again she couldn't

1039
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 3: reach my fiance over the phone and was concerned about

1040
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 3: what was going on. I politely replied, saying that my

1041
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: fiance was probably just busy with work and that I

1042
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 3: would inform her friend. I called my fiance and told

1043
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 3: her that her friend had reached out to me. My

1044
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 3: fiance responded with, oh Lord, what why does she have

1045
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 3: to text you? Please block her on the GRAM. I

1046
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 3: found it very weird to block her friend and immature

1047
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 3: at the same time, so I told her that I

1048
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 3: wouldn't block her. My fiance then said, if you won't,

1049
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 3: then she will. A few moments later, I saw that

1050
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 3: I had been blocked on the gram by her friend again.

1051
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,239
Speaker 3: This time around. It made me a little angry, and

1052
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,280
Speaker 3: I ended up texting her on her other social media handle.

1053
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 3: I said, hey, how are you doing. I didn't like

1054
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,439
Speaker 3: what you just did and this is not a very

1055
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 3: respectable way to talk to someone. I also wrote, if

1056
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 3: your husband has some self respect, he should also not

1057
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 3: text my girlfriend when you guys are having issues. The

1058
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:42,960
Speaker 3: friend replies with saying, hey, my husband, myself, and her

1059
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 3: were in her life long before you came into it.

1060
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 3: After that, I politely explained that I didn't mean to

1061
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 3: break their friendship. I only wanted to make their bond

1062
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,919
Speaker 3: better and just felt disrespected for being blocked twice when

1063
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 3: I wanted to get to know them better. She didn't

1064
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,319
Speaker 3: reply to this and inform my girlfriend. My girlfriend once

1065
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 3: again came out angrily and was very upset with me

1066
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 3: for referring to her friend's husband. I'm serious about her

1067
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 3: and have made an effort by introducing her to my

1068
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 3: family and friends. She has no family members, her parents

1069
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 3: passed away, and her cousins live in other countries or

1070
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,239
Speaker 3: far away. Her friends are the ones who will be

1071
00:51:17,239 --> 00:51:20,760
Speaker 3: present at our wedding from her side, so I expected

1072
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 3: her to take me a little more seriously and maybe

1073
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,280
Speaker 3: not ask her friends to block me. She often visits

1074
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 3: this female friend's house, sometimes staying over, and sometimes they

1075
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 3: have parties with the friend and her husband. These could

1076
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,719
Speaker 3: be birthday parties or other occasions. I have never had

1077
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 3: the chance to probably meet any of her friends in

1078
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 3: any official way. I've expressed to her a couple of

1079
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 3: times that since your friend brings up her husband and

1080
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,359
Speaker 3: baby along to group meetings, maybe I can also go

1081
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 3: along and meet them once. But she is strictly against this,

1082
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 3: and this blocking incident has seriously bothered me. My girlfriend

1083
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 3: says my ex boyfriends had bothered her friends earlier as well,

1084
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 3: and she doesn't want that to happen again. But this

1085
00:51:57,719 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 3: would probably have made since maybe a year ago. Now

1086
00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 3: we're getting married in six months, and even now she's hesitant.

1087
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:07,800
Speaker 3: She says she will introduce me to her friends only

1088
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 3: after the marriage. Also, when she gets married, these friends

1089
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,240
Speaker 3: will probably have to help her with arrangements and duties

1090
00:52:14,560 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 3: as she has no one else, so I needed to

1091
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 3: talk to them as well for our upcoming wedding preparations.

1092
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 3: I haven't spoken to my girlfriend for two days because

1093
00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 3: of this, and she's also saying she's unsure of the marriage. Now.

1094
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 3: After I expressed this desire to meet her friends, she

1095
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,840
Speaker 3: says that I will be controlling in nature in the future.

1096
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 3: Am I asking for the right thing by asking her

1097
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 3: to introduce me to her friends? What should I do?

1098
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,239
Speaker 3: And we have an update, Angie, is Opie out of

1099
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,480
Speaker 3: pocket to try and meet is future wife's friends?

1100
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: No, definitely not. I think this is weird. Like, for

1101
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: a second, with all of this mess, I was thinking that,

1102
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,640
Speaker 1: like I forgot that OPI is like one of the

1103
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:58,800
Speaker 1: people getting married here and not just like an outsider.

1104
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 3: Friend, right, like a cousin or something like yeah, yeah,

1105
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 3: my family members getting married and I haven't met any

1106
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 3: of your friends, right?

1107
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 1: That makes sense If that was the case, I would

1108
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 1: literally I was just thinking, just why are we being

1109
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 1: friends with any of these people? Why do we want

1110
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 1: to get to know the people that are doing a

1111
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 1: blocking war? Like why do why is my girlfriend telling

1112
00:53:16,080 --> 00:53:19,400
Speaker 1: me that I should block this friend before she blocks me?

1113
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that, first of all, And

1114
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 1: why do you think that's a good thing to do?

1115
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 1: Like you want to quit before you get fired, Like,

1116
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 1: what do you mean I.

1117
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,760
Speaker 3: Would I would genuinely be like, why are you hiding

1118
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,880
Speaker 3: me from them? Or are you embarrassed of me? You

1119
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 3: could marry me? Like, this is a genuine Like I'm

1120
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,439
Speaker 3: not trying to be controlling, this is a genuine thing.

1121
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 3: You've met my family, Yeah, met a handful of my friends, right,

1122
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 3: Why what's up with this? What's up with the blogging?

1123
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 1: I really like, it's not anything I'm trying to control

1124
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 1: or like force you to do. I just am genuinely

1125
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: curious about your your life, and I want to meet

1126
00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:59,480
Speaker 1: the people that you're close to, and I hope, I

1127
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: would hope that they're okay with me, Like is there

1128
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,040
Speaker 1: anything that I did early in the relationship where like,

1129
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,719
Speaker 1: you know, we got into a fight, they knew about it,

1130
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 1: and then they will never forgive me even though you did.

1131
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: Like is it that kind of a thing, right, Like what,

1132
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:13,360
Speaker 1: I just want to get to the bottom of this.

1133
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: I want us all to be a big, happy family.

1134
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 3: And you're like, I genuinely just want to meet your friends, yeah,

1135
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 3: Like these are the people that you call friends. I

1136
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 3: would assume you want me to meet your friends.

1137
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like they would kind of become my friends when

1138
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 1: we get Yeah together at all, not even just married,

1139
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 1: but like together.

1140
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:31,680
Speaker 3: That's before I get into the story. That's my test

1141
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:35,240
Speaker 3: is if my partner Yeah could get along with my friends.

1142
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 3: If they can, if she can't, we got an issue.

1143
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 3: We have an update. It's been about a month since

1144
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 3: I posted my question regarding my fiance's weird behavior and

1145
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 3: her lying about her mother being passed away. Today I

1146
00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:51,080
Speaker 3: decided to share a small update on the situation. After

1147
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,080
Speaker 3: discovering that her mother was still alive. I was shocked

1148
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 3: for a few days. I'm shocked right now. Gradually, though,

1149
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 3: I started to feel better, although I was still eager

1150
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 3: to understand if I had done anything wrong, especially because

1151
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: I had seen both the good and bad sides of her.

1152
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 3: Now that some time has passed and I can think

1153
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 3: more clearly, though I do miss her. At times, I

1154
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,879
Speaker 3: reflect on what I know about her. She is someone

1155
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 3: who is naturally very compassionate and has shown great kindness

1156
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:20,880
Speaker 3: towards animals, adopting or helping several street animals during the

1157
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 3: three years we were together. I've seen her experience happiness, sadness,

1158
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,319
Speaker 3: and vulnerability. I've seen her good sides, but she also

1159
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 3: has been very harsh in her feelings towards my community, language,

1160
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,799
Speaker 3: my parents, and even me. She clearly did things that

1161
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 3: were wrong, like discouraging interaction with her friends in lying

1162
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 3: about her mother being passed away, among other things. She

1163
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 3: also lied to me on another time in the past,

1164
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 3: which I consider the second biggest lie after the story

1165
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 3: about her mother's passing. This happened one night when she

1166
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 3: arrived in my city a day earlier than planned from

1167
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 3: her village home. I found out because I had been

1168
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 3: calling her repeatedly. She said she wanted to surprise me,

1169
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 3: but we didn't end up meeting that day because she

1170
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 3: asked me not to come over, claiming she was tired

1171
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: and feeling unwell. Later that night, I called her multiple times,

1172
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:08,279
Speaker 3: but she didn't pick up. The next morning, I went

1173
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 3: to her flat and discovered she wasn't there. A few

1174
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 3: hours later, she called me from a friend's phone and

1175
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 3: explained that she had gone to her friend's house because

1176
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 3: her friend's boyfriend had come to stay and the watchman

1177
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 3: wouldn't allow another guy in the flat, so they pretended

1178
00:56:21,960 --> 00:56:24,880
Speaker 3: to be family relatives to cover it up. I forgave

1179
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 3: her for lying that time and chose to trust her again.

1180
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 3: About a week ago, I noticed her repeatedly posting WhatsApp

1181
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 3: updates about how she was treated badly by me, how

1182
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,000
Speaker 3: she was subjected to loneliness, and how I broke up

1183
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 3: with her. During that time, I attended a party with

1184
00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 3: some guys and girls, and I saw her posting stories

1185
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 3: that directly defamed me, even though we had already broken

1186
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 3: up and I had every right to socialize with whomever

1187
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 3: I wanted.

1188
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so we've broken up before? Did we know that already?

1189
00:56:52,840 --> 00:56:55,040
Speaker 3: Why did the update should have been said saying we

1190
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 3: broke up, wedding's canceled, not she lied? And her mother's alive?

1191
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're this? Was this like an off again, on again,

1192
00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,040
Speaker 1: off again thing? Did we break up in the past?

1193
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 4: Thing?

1194
00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 1: Get together? Because it sounded like that was a while ago,

1195
00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:07,840
Speaker 1: not like current.

1196
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 3: I don't know. That day, I messaged her after seeing

1197
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,360
Speaker 3: her status updates, partly because I was angry about what

1198
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 3: she had posted, and partly because I wanted to know

1199
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 3: the real reason behind her lie about her mother's passing.

1200
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: I guess it was current.

1201
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 3: She responded with a lengthy message, but to summarize, she

1202
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 3: listened to the following reasons. She said she lied about

1203
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,919
Speaker 3: her mother being passed away because her mother never got

1204
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 3: her due respect in the past relationship. Her ex probably

1205
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 3: never let her stay at her mother's village house for

1206
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 3: more than two days. Her ex boyfriend was roaming around

1207
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 3: in the city with other girls and probably even cheated

1208
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 3: on her while mother was in the hospital. She thought

1209
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 3: her mother would get proper respect if she lied about

1210
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 3: her mother being passed away, like her expired father, who

1211
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:52,439
Speaker 3: is treated respectively after his passing. According to her, none

1212
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 3: of the reasons she games seemed serious enough for me

1213
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 3: to believe. I pointed out that about ninety percent of

1214
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 3: her reasons were related to her ex boy friend and

1215
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 3: asked her why she had to lie about her mother,

1216
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 3: especially since I had always been supportive regarding her family issues.

1217
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 3: I told her that her explanations didn't make any sense

1218
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 3: to me at all. She later told me I was

1219
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 3: wrong to say she had self absorbed personality disorder. I

1220
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 3: told that to her once earlier, because she never feels

1221
00:58:16,960 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 3: sorry and does gaslighting to hide her own errors, and

1222
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 3: I read online that this could be symptoms of NPD

1223
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 3: and asked her to get expert help on this.

1224
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 1: So this is crazy. I know there's more left, but like.

1225
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:31,760
Speaker 3: If anything, you made me more confused.

1226
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 1: There's a whole lot of new information in that update.

1227
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, a whole lot. I don't think we resolved the

1228
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 3: stem of why she wasn't letting you meet her friends.

1229
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 3: In fact, he found another stem out of other problems.

1230
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,920
Speaker 3: Your mom's alive, and your reasoning for not telling me

1231
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 3: was you have NPD. Supposedly or I thought. I looked

1232
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:53,920
Speaker 3: it up and it seems like you have MPD, but

1233
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 3: maybe she didn't get that checked right. But also the

1234
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 3: list that we got from her honestly made.

1235
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:02,439
Speaker 1: Zero, say zero sense at all. There is no way

1236
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 1: that I'm going to accept the fact that your ex

1237
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 1: boyfriend treated your mother without respect and only treated your

1238
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 1: late father with respect because he had passed away. Means

1239
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:19,959
Speaker 1: that now with your other partner that I thought you trusted, like.

1240
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 3: And you're going to marry, You were going to marry.

1241
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you you told me that your mom had just

1242
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 1: passed away so that I could maybe respect her. It's like,

1243
00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,959
Speaker 1: first of all, that's something that we need to heal

1244
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,240
Speaker 1: from that past relationship because that's not normal and that's

1245
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 1: not something that you should like comply with in the future.

1246
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 1: So like the fact that she was just like, yeah,

1247
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: this is just what I got to do in relationships

1248
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:45,320
Speaker 1: is like scary.

1249
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:50,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is I think you are so okay op

1250
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 3: to you know, maybe she needs to get checked on

1251
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 3: and seek professional help. But yeah, after that, I don't

1252
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,000
Speaker 3: think this is not the relationship for you.

1253
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 1: So many red flags. I would not trust this person

1254
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,959
Speaker 1: after they told me that their mother had passed away.

1255
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 1: That's like such a crazy, terrible thing to lie about.

1256
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go ahead and finish up the story. She

1257
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 3: said she had consulted a psychologist who diagnosed her with

1258
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 3: c PTSD, which can cause self absorbed traits at times.

1259
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 3: Even so, I don't see how that justifies creating such

1260
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,920
Speaker 3: a complex story about her mother to deceive both me

1261
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:28,480
Speaker 3: and my parents, even going as far as to give

1262
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 3: a specific date for her mother's passing anniversary. She was

1263
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 3: also upset with my parents because they found the whole

1264
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 3: situation suspicious and started asking questions. Although I feel bad

1265
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 3: and believe she may be dealing with some behavioral disorders,

1266
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 3: I also suspect there is a deeper, more complex secret,

1267
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,680
Speaker 3: whether it's hers or her family's that has led to

1268
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 3: all these crazy stories. In my last conversation with her,

1269
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 3: I made it clear that regardless of what she says,

1270
01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 3: we are not in a position to restore the marriage.

1271
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 6: Oh thank you God good.

1272
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 3: I don't want to hurt her by doubting her, nor

1273
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 3: do I want to hurt myself. Trust is something that

1274
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 3: cannot be rebuilt after everything that's happened. So I asked

1275
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 3: her just to tell me the truth. However, nothing substantial

1276
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 3: came from her that I could consider, and that, okay,

1277
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 3: is the en of that story. Hey, it's keon your

1278
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 3: host with the cakes.

1279
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: Here.

1280
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,800
Speaker 3: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

1281
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 3: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1282
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:28,920
Speaker 1: My ex canceled our wedding then slept with our friend.

1283
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 3: There's a reason for the cancelation.

1284
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:34,280
Speaker 1: Fiance twenty five mail ended our six year relationship three

1285
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:36,960
Speaker 1: months ago out of the blue. He told me twenty

1286
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 1: seven female, that he didn't want to get married anymore

1287
01:01:39,120 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 1: because he was unsure about how he felt about marriage.

1288
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 1: As a consequence, the wedding arrangements were canceled, invites retracted,

1289
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 1: ven you alerted, et cetera. By the way, this comes

1290
01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 1: from Jesse Ratt and If you want to submit your

1291
01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime separated

1292
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 1: it and.

1293
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 3: I'm Angie, I'm Keon, and we're.

1294
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 1: Here to give good advice goofly, but we don't have

1295
01:01:57,760 --> 01:01:59,480
Speaker 1: all the answers. We just know what we would do

1296
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: in this situation, So let us know what you would

1297
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:04,840
Speaker 1: do in the comments. So oh. He says he suffers

1298
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: from depression and he got a new job, which was

1299
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 1: very stressful. He wanted to separate so he could clear

1300
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 1: his mind and meet up again after Christmas to see

1301
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: how he felt about each other, which gave me some

1302
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: hope even though I felt heartbroken. I moved back in

1303
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: with my parents, who are a couple of hours drive away,

1304
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 1: because our accommodation agreement came to an end, and as

1305
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: I am self employed and not earning much, it would

1306
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 1: be hard to manage alone. I got to myself as

1307
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 1: busy as I could up until now, visiting friends, looking

1308
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 1: after my grandmother, playing for jobs to tide me over

1309
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: until my head is in a good place. I felt

1310
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 1: like I was able to start getting positive. But New

1311
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 1: Year's Eve, he called me to tell me that he

1312
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 1: had slept with a mutual friend the night before and

1313
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 1: wanted me to know from him. He used to talk

1314
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 1: to this girl a lot when we were together, and

1315
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:50,920
Speaker 1: they were just friends then and have been since university.

1316
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 1: I wasn't overly comfortable about the conversations he had often

1317
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: had with her, as he often chose talking to her

1318
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: on laptop or phone over spending time with you me.

1319
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: It made me jealous, but I was honest, and he

1320
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,760
Speaker 1: assured me that he only saw her as a good

1321
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 1: friend and that she reminded him of his best friend

1322
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 1: from his school days. So he broke it off and

1323
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,560
Speaker 1: we had to live in the same house together until

1324
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:15,439
Speaker 1: mid December because of contracts working my job. Notice he

1325
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,440
Speaker 1: spent either time at work or privately in the spare

1326
01:03:18,440 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: bedroom on the laptop talking to her. I'm not proud

1327
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 1: of snooping, but as we share a laptop, I can

1328
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 1: see all the sites he visits, and he left his

1329
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 1: Blue app account logged in. I admit that I was

1330
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 1: in the wrong to look, but I did. They had

1331
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: been having conversations about just regular stuff, but they had

1332
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 1: sent silly photos of themselves pulling faces in whatever, no

1333
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 1: mention of me except me and op have broken up.

1334
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 1: Sad face my gosh, and her saying that she was

1335
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,120
Speaker 1: sorry to hear that they had arranged to go to

1336
01:03:48,160 --> 01:03:50,960
Speaker 1: a theme park together, see movies together, and potentially for

1337
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 1: him to go to her sister's wedding with her. So

1338
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:55,040
Speaker 1: to get to the point, he tells me on the

1339
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,080
Speaker 1: phone that she is a really good friend and his

1340
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 1: feelings for her have gotten more intense. So he drove

1341
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:04,040
Speaker 1: where she lives, which is several hours away. Then they

1342
01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 1: went to see a movie together. He went back to

1343
01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 1: hers and he made a move and they spent the

1344
01:04:09,760 --> 01:04:12,479
Speaker 1: night having spicy sleep. He told her he loved her,

1345
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 1: and she said she'd been in love with him for

1346
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 1: the past year, but said nothing about her feelings because

1347
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:20,720
Speaker 1: of me. I felt so hurt, as she was a

1348
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 1: mutual friend and I feel that she overstepped the boundary

1349
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 1: with the constant private conversations that they had whilst he

1350
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:28,880
Speaker 1: and I were together, and I feel betrayed by him

1351
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: for moving forward so quickly from one moment telling me

1352
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: that he loves me, can't wait to be married and

1353
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 1: start our family, to making his excuses to be free

1354
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: before diving into another relationship and telling this girl that

1355
01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 1: he is in love with her. I don't know how

1356
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 1: to move on from this. My friends tell me what

1357
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:45,920
Speaker 1: they think. I want to hear that he is a

1358
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: rotten guy and I can do better. But I'm finding

1359
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 1: it hard to assimilate what is going on because although

1360
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 1: I don't feel as though I love him anymore, I

1361
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 1: feel so upset and angry still. I now don't want

1362
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 1: to leave the house. I no longer take pride in

1363
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: my appearance, and I repeatedly torture myself by having nightmares

1364
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,520
Speaker 1: of them together. Any advice, please, We do have some comments.

1365
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 3: This is insane. Yeah, you'd even have time to grieve

1366
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 3: your relationship, let alone. This guy is stopping all over

1367
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:16,800
Speaker 3: your heart that he broke into twenty pieces and then

1368
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,840
Speaker 3: it broke more when he's like a mutual friend of ours.

1369
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 3: I love her, by the way, Yeah, no, I.

1370
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:26,400
Speaker 1: Think you could one one hundred percent to be upset

1371
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 1: about that still, like even if you don't love him.

1372
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 1: I mean that kind of happened to me, like not

1373
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:36,439
Speaker 1: not really the same exact thing, but like probably over

1374
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:38,720
Speaker 1: a year after I bruck up with someone, I found

1375
01:05:38,720 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 1: out that like, yeah, I was probably getting cheated on

1376
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:43,800
Speaker 1: in the relationship, and I was still so upset I

1377
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:47,760
Speaker 1: was like, obviously, I like had totally moved on, but

1378
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: it was still like it.

1379
01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:50,800
Speaker 3: Was like the final nail in the coffin exactly.

1380
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 1: It was like, well, I shouldn't known the whole time,

1381
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:53,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

1382
01:05:53,680 --> 01:05:55,400
Speaker 3: It's not your fault's.

1383
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: Well no exactly, but it's like I understand that, like

1384
01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 1: you could still feel that way, like that still sucks.

1385
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't suppress your feelings. Don't be like I'm upset

1386
01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 3: and like I'm getting what I want to hear, but

1387
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 3: I have no idea how to process this. That's so okay.

1388
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 3: I don't even know how to process this, and I'm.

1389
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 1: Not even in this relationship right right, There are some

1390
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:19,400
Speaker 1: comments coming. Number one says, I'm going to preface this

1391
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 1: by saying that I'm not a relationship guru, but I'd

1392
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:25,400
Speaker 1: like to offer some neutral advice. Six years is a

1393
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 1: long time to be in a relationship, but it's not

1394
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 1: as long as an unhappy marriage. It seems to me

1395
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: that he was pulling away for longer than maybe you'd

1396
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,920
Speaker 1: like to admit to yourself. I obviously don't know everything

1397
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 1: about your relationship, and an honest relationship is a healthy one.

1398
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 1: Maybe he didn't admit to himself how much he cared

1399
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 1: for this other girl because he was with you, and

1400
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 1: pulling away gave him the space to do just that.

1401
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:46,680
Speaker 1: It's going to be hard to move on from this,

1402
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 1: and that's okay. You seem as if you feel betrayed

1403
01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 1: and have every right to feel whatever you feel. I

1404
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 1: hope you don't dwell on this too long in your

1405
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 1: life and have a good, healthy release for your negative emotions.

1406
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:59,120
Speaker 1: Life moves on and this isn't the end of your world.

1407
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:02,200
Speaker 1: I hope you feel better soon. Opie says, I didn't

1408
01:07:02,200 --> 01:07:04,360
Speaker 1: see it coming, to be honest, he talked about how

1409
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 1: excited he was about the upcoming wedding and any slowing

1410
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 1: down of Spicy Sleep life. He assured me it was

1411
01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 1: because of his depression and stress at work. I believed him.

1412
01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,040
Speaker 1: It could very well have been, but it also could

1413
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 1: have been this girl as well. I guess the only

1414
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 1: issue I was aware of was the lack of spicy sleep,

1415
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:24,480
Speaker 1: and I understood and never pressured him. Perhaps I was

1416
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 1: fooled easily because he gave every impression of being happy.

1417
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 1: And there is an edit. Just a thank you to

1418
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:33,840
Speaker 1: all who gave advice. Wrote words of encouragement, or just

1419
01:07:34,000 --> 01:07:37,440
Speaker 1: generally nodded and listened. I thought this post would get lost,

1420
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,600
Speaker 1: and I'm glad it didn't because there has been a

1421
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 1: lot of things said here that will be useful for

1422
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:44,760
Speaker 1: me and hopefully others in a similar situation. You're all

1423
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,240
Speaker 1: lovely people, and I appreciate it. But we do have

1424
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,240
Speaker 1: an update one year later. Some might remember my post

1425
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:53,520
Speaker 1: a year ago. We sure do, which concentrated on how

1426
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:55,360
Speaker 1: I was finding it a struggle to get through my

1427
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 1: long awaited wedding being canceled, and now my ex fiance

1428
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 1: became involved with a mutual friend. I'm just here to

1429
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,680
Speaker 1: give a brief update and hope that my experience may

1430
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:06,360
Speaker 1: perhaps encourage those in similar situations to keep positive and

1431
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 1: be inspired to move forward. Never underestimate how time truly

1432
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: is a wonderful healer. At first, you feel as though

1433
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:14,800
Speaker 1: you are never going to leave the little ball of

1434
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:18,200
Speaker 1: pain you roll yourself into. Gradually giving yourself the space

1435
01:08:18,240 --> 01:08:22,400
Speaker 1: to grieve anger, tears, arrogance. However, you deal best. Making

1436
01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 1: positive health choices both mentally and physically, and keeping yourself

1437
01:08:26,080 --> 01:08:29,840
Speaker 1: busy can help the hurt become less and less each day. Personally,

1438
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:33,120
Speaker 1: I began singing properly again. I was a self employed

1439
01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:35,760
Speaker 1: music teacher for years, and when everything went wrong in

1440
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:39,240
Speaker 1: my relationship, I stopped making music. I took a brief break,

1441
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,479
Speaker 1: but knew quickly that something I loved doing must never

1442
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 1: be allowed to stop. Another word of advice is to

1443
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:48,599
Speaker 1: find a hobby or rekindle old hobbies. Within the last year,

1444
01:08:48,640 --> 01:08:50,960
Speaker 1: I feel as though I've achieved a lot. I moved

1445
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 1: to a different city to begin a new job. I

1446
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,000
Speaker 1: slept on a friend's sofa for three months to save

1447
01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:56,920
Speaker 1: money up to be able to afford to find a

1448
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 1: room and a shared house. It was hard. My life

1449
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:01,960
Speaker 1: felt like I was in a suitcase. Most of my

1450
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,559
Speaker 1: belongings were stored in my parents' garage a few hours away.

1451
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:07,000
Speaker 1: I took all the extra hours that I could and

1452
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 1: threw myself into work. Within three months, I got a

1453
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,080
Speaker 1: room for myself. Then shortly afterwards I got a small promotion.

1454
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:16,760
Speaker 1: I auditioned and joined a fantastic choir who have done

1455
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 1: loads of great classical CD releases. I tried the dating

1456
01:09:20,320 --> 01:09:23,720
Speaker 1: game again, venturing in via Tinder, but it didn't go

1457
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:26,719
Speaker 1: well for me. Too many f boys had a lapse,

1458
01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:30,200
Speaker 1: drank and smoked a lot, questioned my decisions and whether

1459
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 1: I was a failure. I picked myself up the best

1460
01:09:32,920 --> 01:09:36,080
Speaker 1: that I could, though, moved houses again in November, met

1461
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:39,400
Speaker 1: a great new man. In December, ex fiance got back

1462
01:09:39,439 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 1: in contact to find out about how I was doing.

1463
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: I told him I felt the best I felt in

1464
01:09:45,160 --> 01:09:47,680
Speaker 1: years and thanked him for breaking it off. I have

1465
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 1: a life that I.

1466
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:50,519
Speaker 3: Enjoy living that a girl.

1467
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,960
Speaker 1: It's a struggle, but that's just kind of how it is.

1468
01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, It's gonna be a rough start. Yeah,

1469
01:09:55,479 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 3: but over time and you said it best, time is

1470
01:09:58,160 --> 01:09:59,479
Speaker 3: an excellent healer.

1471
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 1: It really. It's so annoying when you're like starting your

1472
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 1: healing process, like, oh my god, I just have to

1473
01:10:05,200 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 1: like wait for it to be over.

1474
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:07,880
Speaker 3: It's like the end of the world and everyone tells

1475
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:10,639
Speaker 3: you this, you'll be okay, and look at you. Yeah

1476
01:10:10,800 --> 01:10:14,679
Speaker 3: you had some rough stuff and rough patches, but that's life.

1477
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:15,479
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly.

1478
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:17,839
Speaker 3: But like I said, fuck, you focused on yourself.

1479
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 1: Right, There's like tons and tons of terrible people in

1480
01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:24,639
Speaker 1: the world, and you're just going you're going to run

1481
01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 1: into them. That's just kind of statistically is just gonna happen.

1482
01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:31,840
Speaker 3: And so within a year two good for you. Like

1483
01:10:32,320 --> 01:10:35,040
Speaker 3: for some people it could be shorter, for other people

1484
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:38,479
Speaker 3: it could be way longer. That's just your timetable. And

1485
01:10:38,560 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 3: it's good at I mean when we when you first

1486
01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 3: got broken up with with, like you're like, ah, this

1487
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,759
Speaker 3: is I'm gonna be like this for the rest.

1488
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:47,320
Speaker 1: Of my life, right, it feels like that.

1489
01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:49,600
Speaker 3: That's what it feels like. Yeah, your first heartbreak and

1490
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:53,120
Speaker 3: then over time there's gonna be one day you're like, wait.

1491
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:54,880
Speaker 1: Like I actually haven't thought about that person.

1492
01:10:55,040 --> 01:11:00,120
Speaker 3: I'm genuinely good. Yeah, I'm feeling good totally different. Yeah, absolutely,

1493
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,120
Speaker 3: and that's up your good job, good for you.

1494
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:04,880
Speaker 1: I feel as though I laugh every day about something

1495
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,920
Speaker 1: I often write down in a diary. A couple of

1496
01:11:06,960 --> 01:11:09,120
Speaker 1: positive points to my day could be as simple as

1497
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:11,679
Speaker 1: a lovely sunrise or a great talk with a customer,

1498
01:11:12,000 --> 01:11:14,720
Speaker 1: perhaps something to look forward to. I don't expect or

1499
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:16,800
Speaker 1: need responses. I just wanted to say thank you for

1500
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 1: the advice and encouraging words that I had last year,

1501
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:22,080
Speaker 1: and that I truly hope that others who were experiencing

1502
01:11:22,080 --> 01:11:25,120
Speaker 1: things similar to me are doing well, in particular passing

1503
01:11:25,120 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 1: on best wishes to some commenters whose replies to my

1504
01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:33,479
Speaker 1: original post resonated in my mind thanks to and that's

1505
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:34,679
Speaker 1: all we got.