Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is that you can prepare in advance for
Speaker 1: grief anniversaries. By proactively planning in things that will lift
Speaker 1: your spirits, you can make the day slightly less rough.
Speaker 1: I came across to day's tip because I follow Mary
Speaker 1: Catherine Hamm's Instagram account. This journalist and commentator is known
Speaker 1: for many things, but in addition to her political writing,
Speaker 1: she has shared a lot about losing her first husband
Speaker 1: seven years ago. He died in a bicycle accident, leaving
Speaker 1: her with one little girl and another on the way.
Speaker 1: In an Instagram real recently, she talked about this seventh anniversary.
Speaker 1: The thing about losing someone on a particular day, or
Speaker 1: a traumatic event on a particular day, if you have
Speaker 1: one in your life, as you're bound to at some point,
Speaker 1: is that the calendar is going to come back around.
Speaker 1: She noted when that happens, be prepared for it. She
Speaker 1: went on to say, you know the date is coming,
Speaker 1: you know you're dreading it at least early on in
Speaker 1: your grief, and you should set up a situation for
Speaker 1: yourself Mary Catherine planned a nice lunch with several friends
Speaker 1: on her grief anniversary as a way to make sure
Speaker 1: she had something on the day to look forward to
Speaker 1: instead of just dreading the day. I think this is
Speaker 1: an incredibly wise idea. The calendar does come back around
Speaker 1: again every year we note the anniversary of all the
Speaker 1: days that shaped us, and yes, over time, some of
Speaker 1: the grief changes form. Mary Catherine Ham remarried a few
Speaker 1: years ago and had another baby last year, and so
Speaker 1: I am sure the shape of the grief is different
Speaker 1: than it was in the first year, but still whatever
Speaker 1: shape it takes, it will always be there. You are
Speaker 1: highly unlikely to forget the date. Not everyone in your
Speaker 1: life will remember it as you will, and you can't
Speaker 1: always count on other people to observe it and take
Speaker 1: care of you. You need to take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: So if you've got a grief anniversary in your life,
Speaker 1: think about what truly makes you happy. What could you
Speaker 1: plan into your life for that day so that you
Speaker 1: will feel loved, What will make you feel like there
Speaker 1: are still good things in this world. Reach out to
Speaker 1: your friends. Your closest ones will welcome the opportunity to
Speaker 1: help on that grief anniversary. They may want to help,
Speaker 1: they just probably don't know what to do. So think
Speaker 1: about things that make you smile. What would you genuinely enjoy?
Speaker 1: Get one or two of those things on the calendar.
Speaker 1: What this can do is temper some of the dread
Speaker 1: the day might otherwise conjure up. There will be something
Speaker 1: on that day to look forward to. You won't be
Speaker 1: alone if you don't want to be. Life can be tough,
Speaker 1: especially if you are grieving, but figuring out how to
Speaker 1: spend your grief anniversary in a way that will make
Speaker 1: you feel taken care of is one of the best
Speaker 1: gifts you can give yourself. Then you can continue to
Speaker 1: show up for the other people in your life in
Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,
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Speaker 1: number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeart
Speaker 1: media dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out with
Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward
Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of
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