WEBVTT - Prepare for a grief anniversary

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that you can prepare in advance for

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<v Speaker 1>grief anniversaries. By proactively planning in things that will lift

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<v Speaker 1>your spirits, you can make the day slightly less rough.

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<v Speaker 1>I came across to day's tip because I follow Mary

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<v Speaker 1>Catherine Hamm's Instagram account. This journalist and commentator is known

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<v Speaker 1>for many things, but in addition to her political writing,

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<v Speaker 1>she has shared a lot about losing her first husband

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<v Speaker 1>seven years ago. He died in a bicycle accident, leaving

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<v Speaker 1>her with one little girl and another on the way.

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<v Speaker 1>In an Instagram real recently, she talked about this seventh anniversary.

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<v Speaker 1>The thing about losing someone on a particular day, or

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<v Speaker 1>a traumatic event on a particular day, if you have

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<v Speaker 1>one in your life, as you're bound to at some point,

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<v Speaker 1>is that the calendar is going to come back around.

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<v Speaker 1>She noted when that happens, be prepared for it. She

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<v Speaker 1>went on to say, you know the date is coming,

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<v Speaker 1>you know you're dreading it at least early on in

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<v Speaker 1>your grief, and you should set up a situation for

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<v Speaker 1>yourself Mary Catherine planned a nice lunch with several friends

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<v Speaker 1>on her grief anniversary as a way to make sure

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<v Speaker 1>she had something on the day to look forward to

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<v Speaker 1>instead of just dreading the day. I think this is

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<v Speaker 1>an incredibly wise idea. The calendar does come back around

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<v Speaker 1>again every year we note the anniversary of all the

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<v Speaker 1>days that shaped us, and yes, over time, some of

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<v Speaker 1>the grief changes form. Mary Catherine Ham remarried a few

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<v Speaker 1>years ago and had another baby last year, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I am sure the shape of the grief is different

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<v Speaker 1>than it was in the first year, but still whatever

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<v Speaker 1>shape it takes, it will always be there. You are

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<v Speaker 1>highly unlikely to forget the date. Not everyone in your

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<v Speaker 1>life will remember it as you will, and you can't

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<v Speaker 1>always count on other people to observe it and take

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<v Speaker 1>care of you. You need to take care of yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you've got a grief anniversary in your life,

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<v Speaker 1>think about what truly makes you happy. What could you

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<v Speaker 1>plan into your life for that day so that you

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<v Speaker 1>will feel loved, What will make you feel like there

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<v Speaker 1>are still good things in this world. Reach out to

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<v Speaker 1>your friends. Your closest ones will welcome the opportunity to

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<v Speaker 1>help on that grief anniversary. They may want to help,

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<v Speaker 1>they just probably don't know what to do. So think

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<v Speaker 1>about things that make you smile. What would you genuinely enjoy?

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<v Speaker 1>Get one or two of those things on the calendar.

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<v Speaker 1>What this can do is temper some of the dread

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<v Speaker 1>the day might otherwise conjure up. There will be something

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<v Speaker 1>on that day to look forward to. You won't be

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<v Speaker 1>alone if you don't want to be. Life can be tough,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if you are grieving, but figuring out how to

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<v Speaker 1>spend your grief anniversary in a way that will make

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<v Speaker 1>you feel taken care of is one of the best

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<v Speaker 1>gifts you can give yourself. Then you can continue to

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<v Speaker 1>show up for the other people in your life in

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeart

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<v Speaker 1>media dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out with

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<v Speaker 1>all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward

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<v Speaker 1>to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of

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