1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: Today's tip is that you can prepare in advance for 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: grief anniversaries. By proactively planning in things that will lift 5 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: your spirits, you can make the day slightly less rough. 6 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: I came across to day's tip because I follow Mary 7 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: Catherine Hamm's Instagram account. This journalist and commentator is known 8 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: for many things, but in addition to her political writing, 9 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: she has shared a lot about losing her first husband 10 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: seven years ago. He died in a bicycle accident, leaving 11 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: her with one little girl and another on the way. 12 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: In an Instagram real recently, she talked about this seventh anniversary. 13 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 1: The thing about losing someone on a particular day, or 14 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: a traumatic event on a particular day, if you have 15 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: one in your life, as you're bound to at some point, 16 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: is that the calendar is going to come back around. 17 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: She noted when that happens, be prepared for it. She 18 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: went on to say, you know the date is coming, 19 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: you know you're dreading it at least early on in 20 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: your grief, and you should set up a situation for 21 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: yourself Mary Catherine planned a nice lunch with several friends 22 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: on her grief anniversary as a way to make sure 23 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: she had something on the day to look forward to 24 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 1: instead of just dreading the day. I think this is 25 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: an incredibly wise idea. The calendar does come back around 26 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: again every year we note the anniversary of all the 27 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: days that shaped us, and yes, over time, some of 28 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 1: the grief changes form. Mary Catherine Ham remarried a few 29 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: years ago and had another baby last year, and so 30 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: I am sure the shape of the grief is different 31 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: than it was in the first year, but still whatever 32 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: shape it takes, it will always be there. You are 33 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: highly unlikely to forget the date. Not everyone in your 34 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: life will remember it as you will, and you can't 35 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: always count on other people to observe it and take 36 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: care of you. You need to take care of yourself. 37 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: So if you've got a grief anniversary in your life, 38 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: think about what truly makes you happy. What could you 39 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,519 Speaker 1: plan into your life for that day so that you 40 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: will feel loved, What will make you feel like there 41 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: are still good things in this world. Reach out to 42 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: your friends. Your closest ones will welcome the opportunity to 43 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: help on that grief anniversary. They may want to help, 44 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: they just probably don't know what to do. So think 45 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: about things that make you smile. What would you genuinely enjoy? 46 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,519 Speaker 1: Get one or two of those things on the calendar. 47 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 1: What this can do is temper some of the dread 48 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: the day might otherwise conjure up. There will be something 49 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: on that day to look forward to. You won't be 50 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: alone if you don't want to be. Life can be tough, 51 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: especially if you are grieving, but figuring out how to 52 00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: spend your grief anniversary in a way that will make 53 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: you feel taken care of is one of the best 54 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: gifts you can give yourself. Then you can continue to 55 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: show up for the other people in your life in 56 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 57 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd 58 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 59 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, 60 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's B the 61 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also 62 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeart 63 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: media dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out with 64 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I look forward 65 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of 66 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, 67 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 68 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows. Yea.