Speaker 1: Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the New Corner Office,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we share strategies for thriving in the
Speaker 1: new world of work or location and hours are more
Speaker 1: flexible than in the past. Today's tip is to turn
Speaker 1: your work acquaintances into better work friends. Work feels a
Speaker 1: lot more fun when we feel genuinely close to another
Speaker 1: person or two. While making great friends involves some luck,
Speaker 1: a lot of it is more effort than anything else.
Speaker 1: I'm taking today's tip from Shasta Nelson's new book, The
Speaker 1: Business of Friendship. When I talked to Shasta a few
Speaker 1: weeks ago, she shared some research finding that people are
Speaker 1: far more likely to feel engaged with their work when
Speaker 1: they feel that they have a best friend at the office. Now,
Speaker 1: I will admit that this sounds a little silly. Best
Speaker 1: friend aren't bff's the part of fifth grade that were
Speaker 1: maybe not so into anymore? But it turns out to
Speaker 1: be true, And why not. If there is someone we've
Speaker 1: genuinely want to spend time with at work, then spending
Speaker 1: time at work doesn't feel training. It feels good. We
Speaker 1: want to be at work and that makes us feel
Speaker 1: more motivated. And this doesn't really change when people work virtually.
Speaker 1: If you had a best friend at work prior to
Speaker 1: going virtual due to the pandemic, you just have to
Speaker 1: be more intentional about scheduling conversations. Maybe you can call
Speaker 1: each other each day to say goodbye. A daily ten
Speaker 1: minutes social conversation can go a long way towards staying connected.
Speaker 1: But if you didn't have a best friend, or you
Speaker 1: just started a new job in the last few months,
Speaker 1: all of this is more complicated. Shasta notes that often
Speaker 1: when people think they want deeper, better friendships, they think
Speaker 1: they need to meet new people. But the truth is
Speaker 1: we probably know plenty of people. We just need to
Speaker 1: build better relationships with the people we already know. So
Speaker 1: if this sounds like you, choose a small number of
Speaker 1: people you work with who could become real friends, and
Speaker 1: then do your best to advance this process by managing
Speaker 1: the three conditions Shasta says are necessary for friendship consistency, vulnerability,
Speaker 1: and positivity. Consistency is pretty straightforward. You need to talk
Speaker 1: to these people more often, schedule a weekly coffee, schedule
Speaker 1: a virtual drink on Thursday evenings. Form an accountability partnership
Speaker 1: with each other, so you talk every Friday about what
Speaker 1: you've gotten done. Consistency is fairly automatic when you're in
Speaker 1: an office building together, but not necessarily in virtual work,
Speaker 1: so you need to make it happen. Vulnerability The second
Speaker 1: part sounds a little woo woo, not really something that
Speaker 1: is appropriate for work, But you can be safely vulnerable
Speaker 1: by sharing a little bit about yourself, at least at first,
Speaker 1: what really motivates you. Ask others about this too, Ask
Speaker 1: about their challenges, ask about their successes as part of
Speaker 1: your small talk, and over time this creates the condition
Speaker 1: of trust. And finally, be positive, smile and say nice
Speaker 1: things to people. And you don't have to be over
Speaker 1: the top chipper. I know I'm not, but make sure
Speaker 1: that for every complaint in your interactions there are several
Speaker 1: positive statements too. Complaining isn't really a great foundation for
Speaker 1: any relationship. You don't want to compete on who is
Speaker 1: the biggest murdyer. No one wins in the murderdom Olympics.
Speaker 1: All relationships take time, but when you choose a few
Speaker 1: people with whom you want to form deeper relationships and
Speaker 1: consciously take the time to spend positive time together and
Speaker 1: share about your lives, you will feel like better friends.
Speaker 1: You will start looking forward to seeing your friends on Monday,
Speaker 1: whether that's on zoom or in person, and that changes
Speaker 1: work entirely. In the meantime, this is Laura, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: and here's to succeeding in the New Corner Office. The
Speaker 1: New Corner Office is a production of I Heart Radio.
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