00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:50 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts, temperature wineger. We're here in the studio, I believe, and I'm well. I haven't looked at the emails enough to confirm this, but we'll just assume. This is the first podcast of the year of twenty twenty six. Happy New year. How could we possibly top twenty twenty five? It was perfect? I did have the realization last night that one of the highlights of last year for me was trying a new diet soda. So how can you top that? How can you top a pepsi zero peach? You know? So we'll move forward into the year. I think something's going to happen this year. I feel like something is going to happen that's going to make us all so happy. So let's just keep that in mind. Please let me look at my business. I've got to make sure I've got all my business taken care of. Because it is the new year. We've got to cover everything I've talked about. Diet soda, Patreon, join the Patreon, Patreon dot com slash. I said, no gifts, just a wealth of content. Everyone loves content, and if you want more content, this is where you go. I'm recapping housewives. I'm recapping secret lives of Mormon wives. You know, I'm we have bonus episodes of this show in the backyard. Famously, my mom was on recently. Come join us. We're having the time of our lives. We're sharing pictures of our pets. What Patreon lets you share pictures of your pets, So come join us. I think that's everything. I'm looking at my doc. Still watching Little House on the Prairie. Most recently, I think there was a leaf collecting competition. Did not become as violent as you would expect, so that was disappointing. But let's get into the show. I'm just all over the place. I adore today's guests. Everyone truly loves her. It's Wendy McClendon. Covey, Wendy, Welcome to I said, no gifts. 00:02:44 Speaker 3: I am so honored to be here. I am so honored. Little House on the prairie. I'm right there with you. 00:02:53 Speaker 2: How when was last time you saw the show? Oh? Ages, decades, You've got to get back into it. 00:02:58 Speaker 3: But yes, because that was some good riding, excellent riding, all right. 00:03:03 Speaker 2: They talked about race, They talked about race, they talked about rape. Oh I haven't seen race. 00:03:11 Speaker 3: Oh oh, you're gonna be mad, You're gonna be upset. 00:03:17 Speaker 2: Oh my god, talking about. 00:03:18 Speaker 3: Class warfare, and there's horses and typhoe. Yeah, and you turn your own butter, turn. 00:03:26 Speaker 2: Your own butter. I watched an episode that was just a baseball game. Stop it. 00:03:30 Speaker 3: Should you see when that girl drowned. I'm sorry, there's a reason it was on for so long. 00:03:37 Speaker 2: I'm in season two right now. But of course every season is like fifty episodes, so which is also those good old days. You don't have to tell me now the show will be eight episodes long to. 00:03:47 Speaker 3: The film every two years. 00:03:51 Speaker 2: Every time we checked in with them, they'd all be a decade older. No, this is essentially reality TV. I'm watching a documentary of these people in the where supposed to be the Midwest. That's where they go to man Cato. Often they go camping. What a group Nellie Olsen. What this is my complaint? Yes, Nelly Olsen. They're often giving the brother more lines. Willy Willie. Yeah, I was gonna say Willie Olsen. Willy Nelson would make sense within this world. Willie Olsen, I'm not as much of a fan of him. Nelly Olsen is the town brat. Yes, just let her be the star of the show is my thing. 00:04:33 Speaker 3: I mean she has the best clothes. Oh, she's immaculate, she has the best hair. A doting mother, a doting nasty mother. Nasty mother. But they're the merchantstile. 00:04:46 Speaker 2: The price is exactly exactly. It's a very it's a tough place to grow up. 00:04:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, not gentle time. No. 00:04:55 Speaker 2: I just I saw an episode where they the gals were on a runaway train. They got on a caboose and it just less. 00:05:02 Speaker 3: Sometimes that happens, you know how, Sometimes that just happens. 00:05:05 Speaker 2: You're playing, you don't have. 00:05:06 Speaker 3: To tell me. I think there's some like obsession. Did you have an obsession with a kid. 00:05:12 Speaker 2: As a kid to be like to live in a box car? Did you ever read Box Car Children or the sort of thing maybe that. 00:05:18 Speaker 3: Box Car Children? No, but you know that was kind of the preferred method to run away though you were a kid is you would tie all your stuff in a bandana, put it on a stick a bindle, walk down to the train tracks and just jump on whenever you could. And that seemed reasonable to. 00:05:38 Speaker 2: All of us, right of course. Yeah, I tried to run away from home at least twice. Really made it as far as up the hill. 00:05:45 Speaker 3: Uh huh. 00:05:45 Speaker 2: I think it's more of an attention grabbing thing. Look at me. Pay a little more attention to me, or you might lose me. 00:05:52 Speaker 3: You might lose me. I know I have options out in the world. What I'm in the first grade, and I've got feeling and it's time people started to pay attention. 00:06:02 Speaker 2: Right and I have the skill set to survive. So try me, mom. 00:06:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, don't know if you've heard me play I'm a little Teapot on the recorder or on the piano. But I can make I can make a living for myself. I can busk. 00:06:19 Speaker 2: Or did you play piano as a kid. 00:06:21 Speaker 1: I did? 00:06:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, Can you still play the piano with these nails? 00:06:25 Speaker 3: Not really? But I still remember things that I because I'm a little bit adhd. So I used to play things for speed or just because I had to, like right, you know, in the middle of whatever else I was doing, I'd have to run in play something on the piano really fast and run back out and do something else. So I still have that sense memory right of how to make those notes work right. But that's one of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn't stick with it. 00:06:55 Speaker 2: It's same with me. I was just talking to somebody about this where my parents threatened me constantly, you're going to at this. Of course I didn't listen. And now I can do about the same thing. I can like sit down at the piano and annoy people. 00:07:07 Speaker 3: Annoy people. 00:07:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, is it too late? 00:07:12 Speaker 3: You know? I just inherited an organ like a organ wow, okay from. 00:07:18 Speaker 2: Electric or pump electric? Oh my god. 00:07:21 Speaker 3: And it's all I want to do is just sit down and play. And now you really don't have an excuse not to because you can get the headphones that plug in, so no one has to be So no, it's never too late if you're thinking about it, and what a delight you would be at every party you went to. 00:07:42 Speaker 2: That's true. 00:07:43 Speaker 3: It's a little bit. 00:07:43 Speaker 2: I don't have any party tricks. 00:07:45 Speaker 3: Well, you're going to get yourself a portable keyboard. 00:07:49 Speaker 2: That right up. 00:07:51 Speaker 3: I bought one for my mom. 00:07:53 Speaker 2: It rolls up, it rolls. 00:07:54 Speaker 3: Up, the keyboard rolls up, and you put it in a little Duffel bag or something like that. It's very portable. She can't stand it, so it might make its way back to me like that. I didn't bring it for you today. 00:08:04 Speaker 2: So it's like a miniature version of what Tom Hanks plays in big kind of yeah, kind of like a plastic roll up. Yes, why did you play that for your mom? 00:08:14 Speaker 3: Because she needed to be able to practice. She still plays. She was my original teacher. 00:08:19 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, now that's a there's some conflict of interesting. 00:08:22 Speaker 3: Yes, it's not easy to take lessons from your mom, right it really. 00:08:26 Speaker 2: Is, or to pay her a weekly salary exactly, or. 00:08:30 Speaker 3: You know, when she wants you to keep playing religious hymns and you don't want that, you want to start playing jazz. 00:08:36 Speaker 2: Of course, that's the biggest problem that every piano teacher makes. Yeah, well maybe if it was a fun song to. 00:08:42 Speaker 3: Play, Exactly, I don't want to play Fairest Lord Jesus, you can play that. I'm never going I'm never going to go anywhere where I will need to play this. But thank you. 00:08:53 Speaker 2: But now you have an organ? Yeah, is it huge? 00:08:57 Speaker 3: It's not huge, but it it's a big right. 00:09:01 Speaker 2: Those things are heavy. 00:09:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was not easy to get it into the house. Let me say that it's not moving now. 00:09:07 Speaker 2: And where do you have it in the house. 00:09:09 Speaker 3: It's our living room that we call the gift shop because that's where all the breakables are. Oh, I love that, my glass collection and all my bullshit. You know, we call it the gift shop. 00:09:20 Speaker 2: So, oh, that's fantastic. 00:09:21 Speaker 3: I U. 00:09:22 Speaker 2: When I was in high school, I found an electric organ at the thrift store and bought it for fifty dollars and then somehow convince my parents to let us bring it into the house. Yeah, and it was just taking up a huge portion of the basement for me to dick around on every few weeks. But I loved the thing. 00:09:39 Speaker 3: So you had to get that thing down down into the basement. 00:09:43 Speaker 2: No exaggeration. It must have been three hundred pounds at least. Did you have to. 00:09:47 Speaker 3: Break it up? 00:09:48 Speaker 2: And they're also they're like, no, they're very wide, and you know it's an unwheeldy object. Yes, the fact that I asked anyone to. 00:09:57 Speaker 3: Can it make samba sounds? Like? Does it have all the difference? 00:10:00 Speaker 2: It had? Like the little automatic switch and the drums. I loved the drum machine on this thing. So funky, Oh so funky. 00:10:07 Speaker 3: Did you walk around like with a cocktail a mocktail in your hand and some candy cigarettes being like hey everybody? 00:10:14 Speaker 2: Well it played a waltz beat. 00:10:16 Speaker 3: Oh. 00:10:16 Speaker 2: It also had the little synthesizer at the top, which I loved the sound of that thing. I wish I still had it. But how do you transport that? My purse must have run it through a wood chip. Where did it end up? Yeah? 00:10:29 Speaker 3: Where did it end up? Did they just move houses? 00:10:32 Speaker 2: And they moved there when I went to college, So I don't know what happened to that thing. 00:10:38 Speaker 3: Maybe they just included it with the sale, right, that. 00:10:43 Speaker 2: Was the big bonus, get a fifty dollars organ from the seventies. I'm really jealous of you. What are you going to do with your organ in the house? Are you going to play it? Or is it just kind of well. 00:10:53 Speaker 3: It seems like that's what I should do with it, But right now I just use it for decorations for like, you know, say you have a pair of really elegant severed hands from Halloween. Of course you're going to put those on there. 00:11:08 Speaker 2: You know. This is perfect for every holiday. 00:11:11 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a fun conversation piece. And my husband bought an electric guitar at an auction recently that was signed from Gerald Cassale from Devo. Oh my god, sits next to it. So it seems like we're you. 00:11:27 Speaker 2: Know right, you're the way to become the Doors. Basically you just need I think drums and then you're the Doors. 00:11:36 Speaker 3: Well I think my my organ has the drums, so we're ready to be. 00:11:41 Speaker 2: Uh you should start a Doors cover band. 00:11:43 Speaker 3: I'm so glad I came here today. You are full of good ideas. 00:11:46 Speaker 2: That's what the number one thing this podcast does is produce money making concepts and ideas and then inform people of the news. That's why people come here. You know, it's off I say it all the time. It's a utility before any thing else. Yeah, that's why people tune in, you know, for the headlines. Yeah, and for the business concept, for. 00:12:08 Speaker 3: The concepts and the content. I love this. 00:12:16 Speaker 2: Are you two Devo fans? 00:12:17 Speaker 3: Yes? 00:12:18 Speaker 2: Oh I just watched the documentary really good, fantastic. 00:12:22 Speaker 3: We just saw them at at the Hollywood Bowl with. 00:12:25 Speaker 2: Lena Lovich and that sounds amazing. 00:12:29 Speaker 3: That was an amazing show. 00:12:31 Speaker 2: The last time. I've only seen the B fifty twos once and it was at a pharmaceutical rep conference that we snuck into. 00:12:39 Speaker 3: So you were not a rep yourself, not yet, you snuck in. 00:12:43 Speaker 2: I snuck in. Got to see them play in like a hotel ballroom. 00:12:47 Speaker 3: I love this. 00:12:49 Speaker 2: There's such a fun band live. 00:12:51 Speaker 3: There's such a fun band. And I grew up listening to them when I got I, you know, elementary school. I went to a private Christian school. Okay, then I went to a public junior high school. 00:13:04 Speaker 2: Oh what a transition. 00:13:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was quite quite jarring. But that's when I got into all the good music that like would shape the rest of my life, right right, So you know absolutely the B fifty two's Duran Duran Devo. Like that's when it was like, oh, it's. 00:13:23 Speaker 2: On so much good music that you a new Order fan. Oh yeah, oh wow, I haven't seen I've never seen Deva live. 00:13:31 Speaker 3: Well, you know you better get on that. I know they're an elder statesman, yes, but they put on an incredible show. 00:13:38 Speaker 2: They're still in costume. 00:13:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, doing it all, doing it all. 00:13:43 Speaker 2: Why didn't I go to the show? How do people find out about what's happening at the Hollywood Ball The only way I find out is by seeing people posting that they're at the thing I want to be at. 00:13:54 Speaker 3: Well, you got to put a bit of effort into it. So I'm a concert person, Okay. I love going to shows. So I am signed up for like every ticket service, like get me on your newsletter. I want to know who's in town, right, so I stay on top of that. 00:14:10 Speaker 2: What's the most recent thing you saw? 00:14:12 Speaker 3: It was that show? It was that show. Prior to that, we saw Simple Minds. 00:14:20 Speaker 2: Oh the four um oh that sounds fun, which was really cool. Okay, wow, so you're really doing it up. 00:14:26 Speaker 3: Then I spend some money to go to shows because for a long time, my husband and I couldn't travel. 00:14:31 Speaker 2: So it was like, well, okay, so we'll do this right right? Are you do you dance while you're at shows? 00:14:36 Speaker 3: I'm annoying to hear. I'm a participator. I am a participator deluxe. So if you tell me to wave my hands in the air, I will wave my hands, and the person sitting next to me and the person behind me like, let's come on, we pay good money for these seats. Let's show the artists that we're into it. 00:14:59 Speaker 2: You're part of the t The band is up there playing. They need you to do something. 00:15:03 Speaker 3: Yes, they do not want to look down at your scowling ass. They want to know that you're having a good time. 00:15:09 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 00:15:10 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:15:11 Speaker 2: I was just at a show and I felt embarrassed to be in the audience because people were being such bad participants. I think that's kind of an LA thing. People are too cool to participate, and it's like, well, you're hurting everyone's feelings on stage. 00:15:25 Speaker 3: Now, what were you watching? 00:15:27 Speaker 2: Well? I went to there's a band called Snowcaps, okay, and there's a guy who opened named Mike Kroll, who I adore, and I went to see It's a whole It's a whole thing. Do you have you ever heard of the band Waxahatchie? 00:15:40 Speaker 3: Yes? 00:15:40 Speaker 2: Okay, So she and her sister have been in various bands. They're now in a new band. Mike is one of their husbands. But I'm a fan of all of them independently. But he's a little bit louder. Okay, they're not quite as loud, so the audience I think was not quite prepared to have somebody noisy. Okay, but he was having the time of his life. He takes a ladder into the audience and climbs up the ladder. I mean, he does it all. There's a confetti cannon. The fact that people weren't moving infuriating, so weird, it's very odd. You're just it's uncomfortable to just stand there with your arms folded. 00:16:14 Speaker 3: I mean, unless you're going to the symphony. 00:16:16 Speaker 2: Right, if you're in a seat, okay, if you're standing, if there's a beat and you're not moving, you're torturing. 00:16:25 Speaker 3: You're something wrong with you. 00:16:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not natural. 00:16:28 Speaker 3: It's not natural. 00:16:30 Speaker 2: Yeah. So I was an A plus student. I was moving, I was shouting. I never shout words at what's happening on. 00:16:38 Speaker 3: Stage, okay, never say smile. 00:16:43 Speaker 2: I never shout a song request. Have you ever? Do you ever do that? No? That to me is a huge line crossed. You're not the manager of the show. You're not running things. 00:16:53 Speaker 3: You're not at a at a bar. 00:16:55 Speaker 2: You're not at a bar. It's not a karaoke exactly let them. You know, they've they have a set list, they've prepared. They don't want to hear their number one hit being you know, that's always the thing, it's their biggest song being yelled at them. 00:17:09 Speaker 3: How annoying, How annoying. I hate that. 00:17:12 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm a kind of the model concert goer. I feel like you probably are too. Then there's always, I think, one woman who's too drunk and she's upsetting everyone because she's going too far. 00:17:24 Speaker 3: Too far. I saw that once at a Squeeze show. So it was a Squeeze, You've got great taste of music, Thank you, Squeeze and Haul and Oates. 00:17:34 Speaker 2: Oh so I thought the show okay. 00:17:36 Speaker 3: This woman was really feeling herself and it was maybe fifteen minutes in and she was already all lickered up and a fistfight broke out because she wouldn't sit down. And this was right when things started opening back up again. So people were kind of fearal, like, I don't know how to be in public anymore. I just know how to watch things on a big screen and pause when I have to go to the bathroom. Well you can't do that in real life, you know. And You can't look at something and move your fingers like this and make it bigger, you know, or make someone sit down or disappear. It was wow embarrassing to watch. 00:18:21 Speaker 2: Yes, did she was? She escort it out? No? Wow, amazing, which was surprising, especially at the Bowl. It feels like, yeah, there's some decorum there. 00:18:32 Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure something else was happening somewhere else in the arena, you know what I mean. Like it was it was so early into it that people were still getting into their seats and blah blah blah. But yeah, I was surprised that that went off the way it did. 00:18:50 Speaker 2: I guess if you're gonna have a fistfight, save it for the beginning of the show and so we can move on. 00:18:54 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:18:57 Speaker 2: Have you ever come close to being in a fight publicly? 00:19:00 Speaker 1: Yes? 00:19:01 Speaker 2: Yeah? 00:19:01 Speaker 3: Also at a concert. Well, here's the thing. If if I spend money to sit in the first row, I'm sitting there. You're not sitting there. You don't know. This is a thing that happens now at concerts where everybody wants to come straight up to the front, turn around, get their selfie, and they don't care where you are. They just get in your space. A lot of times they're rip raw and drunk. And just to give you a little background, my husband has a deep brain stimulation device. 00:19:39 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so. 00:19:40 Speaker 3: It's right there at the top of his head, and I'm always very much like gotta gotta say. 00:19:45 Speaker 2: Right, of course, totally. 00:19:47 Speaker 3: So when people start really getting in our business and then they start storming the stage or just getting too close because it's selfie time, it makes me uneasy. So I start getting like, hey, huh, what I just say, I really turn into a bitch. Don't come near my you need to, Yeah, you're kind of forced to in those situations, Like I'm starting to feel unsafe. Security has been called. They can't keep you people back. I'm a little unnerved. 00:20:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that is something coming out of the pandemic that people have forgotten about personal space, like or where their body is in space. That's something that really sets me off is when my space is invaded by someone who's just like not aware of others' existence exactly. It's just immediately I'm at a ten. I'm not doing anything about it. I'm just seeing. But there's something about just please take a look around, just be slightly aware of what's going on around you? 00:20:48 Speaker 3: Exactly, Like, at no point should your hair be flipped into my lipstick. 00:20:53 Speaker 2: I do not want to taste anything on your scale exactly, it's right right. I'll let you know when I want to taste you. And that happens more often than you would think. 00:21:07 Speaker 3: Yes it does, Yes, it does well. 00:21:12 Speaker 2: Anyway, speaking of invading space and not behaving yourself, I was looking forward to having you here today. 00:21:18 Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. 00:21:19 Speaker 2: When you'll come by, we'll have a nice chat. We'll move on with our days. No hurt feelings, no boundaries crossed, you know. 00:21:29 Speaker 3: I certainly shan't across. 00:21:31 Speaker 2: The podcast is called I said no gifts, and I walk in today and I see you've got a gift. 00:21:39 Speaker 3: Well that's really hard for me because gifts are my love language. So I'm really sorry to disobey. Okay, but I think you're gonna love what I got you, and you better not start crying from emotion. 00:21:57 Speaker 2: I can't make any promises. Well, I guess we'll open it here on the post, all right? Okay? Is this a beetle on this bag? Who is this? 00:22:09 Speaker 3: I feel like that's Penny Marshall. Maybe it's from the Gary Marshall Theater. But that has nothing to do with the gift ins. 00:22:16 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, reaching it. It's just a bare Oh oh it's larger. Oh I'm out of control right now trying. Oh yeah, is this hello Kitty brand toilet paper? 00:22:32 Speaker 3: It is? 00:22:33 Speaker 2: It is. 00:22:34 Speaker 3: It's something I like to get for all the men in my life. 00:22:38 Speaker 2: And you. 00:22:39 Speaker 3: I poked a hole in the bottom so you can smell it. Oh it's it smells like candy. Wow, it's like strawberry. 00:22:45 Speaker 2: Yeah what or yeah it is? 00:22:48 Speaker 3: Isn't that delicious? 00:22:49 Speaker 2: This is incredible? Where did this come from? 00:22:51 Speaker 3: That came from Tokyo Central Grocery in Guardina What. I don't know if you've ever been to that store. It is such a treat. 00:23:00 Speaker 2: What is it? A huge place. 00:23:01 Speaker 3: It's a huge grocery store full of well department store, really full of stuff straight from Japan, but also like housewares, the best produce section you can go to. Weird things like this cosmetics. Oh my god, you want your k beauty, Well they've got it there too. Sushi restaurant on top. I don't eat sushi, but people tell me it's amazing. But weird little things. 00:23:29 Speaker 2: Like this, like this is amazing. How often are you going to this place? 00:23:33 Speaker 3: I just discovered it. Okay, so I'm going to be going a lot because I think I need to buy that a toilet paper for you. Wouldn't buy it yourself? 00:23:42 Speaker 2: No, of course, this is a real gift, it's a real Are you regularly buying Hello Kitty toilet paper? 00:23:48 Speaker 3: Not often? Because I think it's probably not great for you with that scent? 00:23:55 Speaker 2: What an interesting thing to have a cinch fascinating. 00:24:02 Speaker 3: But see look what you can do. You can break that whole thing apart and give individual roles to your loved one. Oh, very smart. 00:24:10 Speaker 2: And I guess it can bring a scent to a bathroom. Yeah, so it fills the bathroom with a strawberry scent. I guess it's not so much as like for holding up to your face as it is just a general. 00:24:21 Speaker 3: Just a general like I'm Bridger, I'm awesome. Here's my toilet paper. This is what I require. 00:24:31 Speaker 2: Okay, did you get anything else while you were there? 00:24:35 Speaker 3: Yes, we got those giant pairs that look like they're wrapped in gauze. 00:24:42 Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever had one of these. 00:24:43 Speaker 3: Oh well, I would love to say that I've had one, but he eats them all before I can get them home. They have the best snacks, okay, that are good for like stocking stuffers or whatever. In my family, we don't buy each other gifts anymore. We just give like dumb little things, right right, So you know, Oh, here's a gorgeous little bowl for you. And I bought a lot of sheet masks Bridger so many sheep. 00:25:08 Speaker 2: A particular sheet mask you like or are you just experimenting? 00:25:11 Speaker 3: I am experimenting. But the thing is is they give them to you in bulk. Oh so you're like, oh, I need Naya cinamide on my face. 00:25:20 Speaker 2: Sure I do. 00:25:22 Speaker 3: Oh, here's one with fifty for the low low price of seven bucks. I can't afford not to get it. 00:25:29 Speaker 2: How often are you doing a face mask? You have very nice skin and glowing thank you. 00:25:33 Speaker 3: I also wear six pounds of makeup at all times. But how often am I doing that? 00:25:39 Speaker 2: Not? 00:25:39 Speaker 3: Maybe once a week? I know some people do it every day. That seems like a lot to me. 00:25:43 Speaker 2: Yeah, where are you finding the time? 00:25:46 Speaker 3: When are you finding the time? That's what I want to know with these people and their twelve step skincare thing. How much can the dermis really absorb, right. 00:25:58 Speaker 2: It makes no sense to me watch one of those things. Like once a year, I'll be like, okay, I should probably do something, and then I look them up and I'm like, oh, this is a whole I have to it's a career. 00:26:07 Speaker 3: Yeah this. I have to start my bedtime ritual at five thirty exactly, you know, and then lay perfectly still all night. 00:26:16 Speaker 2: I don't know how am I supposed to watch TV until the last possible minute if I have to start doing my skin routine. It's forty steps long, and it's often wet, so it's it seems difficult to me, but. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: And requires so many like poking and prodding instagramt yeah, daily, I can't imagine. Yeah, I can't imagine. Now how gorgeous would we both be if we adhered to this exactly? But you know what, I think we're pretty cute. You've got amazing skin yourself. Clearly you are sunscreening. 00:26:47 Speaker 2: Well I have to. Yeah, I mean this complexion. I went through a lot of years of sunburns, and did you I grew up in the nineties and early thousands when h bing tan was where it was at. Yeah, and unfortunately it's just simply not an option for me. 00:27:02 Speaker 1: It's not. 00:27:02 Speaker 2: But there were many attempts you would try. There are a lot of attempts. 00:27:06 Speaker 3: Did you lay in a bed and a tanning bad? 00:27:09 Speaker 2: I have laid in a bed, Not enough for it to be dangerous, But there were a couple of attemps where it's just like someone should have stepped in, somebody that was predatory on the part of the tanning. 00:27:18 Speaker 3: Sell you the membership, they'll sell you the little card. 00:27:22 Speaker 2: You should have to get a license. They should like have to look at your skin and see if it'll even take. 00:27:26 Speaker 3: They should say to you with those blonde eyelashes, absolutely not, No, you gotta leave. 00:27:32 Speaker 2: You shouldn't even be able to be in the parking lotigs. 00:27:35 Speaker 3: You need to have a parasol Yes, I. 00:27:38 Speaker 2: Think I'm headed towards parasol territory. 00:27:43 Speaker 3: What's the downside? 00:27:44 Speaker 2: What is the downside? 00:27:45 Speaker 3: What is the downside? We do what we want these days. 00:27:47 Speaker 2: Okay, it's a conversation piece. It's protecting you from u V rays. Yeah, it doubles for when the rain comes. Yeah, have you been to Japan? 00:27:57 Speaker 3: I have, but it's been like thirty years. 00:27:59 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you've got to get back. I know, the best place in the world. Yeah, it's just an absolute dream at every turn. That's where I had this diet soda I was talking about. 00:28:09 Speaker 3: Tell me about your diet soda. 00:28:10 Speaker 2: I drink. 00:28:11 Speaker 3: My blood is mostly made up of diets. 00:28:13 Speaker 2: So you're looking at just an entirely diet coke person. This was a Pepsi zero peach and I can say this I'm not advertising it because it was a limited edition not only time wise, but also to an area of Japan. There was like a small part of like Kyoto or something where they had this magic drink and I just by chance try to thinking this will be horrible. Changed my life really kind of for the worst because now I can't have it, and I just I'll be chasing that high for the rest of my life. 00:28:46 Speaker 3: But what I'm getting from this conversation is you were in Japan recently. 00:28:52 Speaker 2: Now That's what I'm trying to really bring up here. 00:28:55 Speaker 3: Tell me about Japan. How long were you there? 00:28:58 Speaker 2: I was there for ten days, okay, and spent most of it in Tokyo and Kyoto. Oh my goodness, and it's just for me. I've been there twice now. I went there about ten years ago at the last spring, and it kind of ruins traveling for you because you just think, why would I go elsewhere when I can go to Japan and just have a lovely, easy time where things are endlessly fascinating. There's always something to look at, so much good food. You never feel in danger, you can just wander and be curious. It's my favorite place in the world. 00:29:30 Speaker 3: Even the grocery stores, yes, or just any little sundry shop. You go in and you're going to find something that's worthy of being taken home. 00:29:39 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah, this is what I say. It's like I feel like for Japanese people, it's probably boring to walk around, but it's like I could just wander around a neighborhood. That's essentially the equivalent of I don't know a neighborhood in Ohio and I'm looking at everything and having a good time, and it's just you know, like appliance stores, Yeah, what, have you a nice time? The flight is difficult, right, I can't be on a flight for more than about forty minutes before I'm in agony. So for to be on it for twelve hours or something, oh oh thank you. 00:30:13 Speaker 3: And then when you came home. There's like a re entry period. You feel a little odd because you're. 00:30:18 Speaker 2: Like feel insane. Yeah, because when you get there, there's really no I really didn't have that much jet lag, but the return it was like two weeks of hell. Just waking up in the middle of the night, just fully awake, ready to go on a walk. Very many sleepless nights. So it's tough. Do you travel much? 00:30:40 Speaker 3: I do mostly for work? Okay, sure, I hate being on planes. I'm not scared, right, I just don't. I just get so restless, and like I can't get comfortable, even if it's the lay down bed or whatever. But I can speak to the right. It's a long flight thing of like, am I getting thrombosis? But wait, so have you seen all these places in like rural Japan where you can just buy a house that's been abandoned. No, and they're cheap and you get everything that's in the house. Now, that can be a nightmare. Sure it cannot also be like a gold mine. 00:31:22 Speaker 2: This is a horror movie. But buy a house fuld of cursed objects. 00:31:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully they're not cursed, but yeah, they're like actively seeking people to come and take over these abandoned houses. 00:31:35 Speaker 2: Why is that? 00:31:37 Speaker 3: I don't know if it's just that these places are not populated enough. 00:31:41 Speaker 2: And because there is in there population issue in Japan of the aging population, not enough babies or something like that. 00:31:50 Speaker 3: Right, But there's other places, like rural parts of Italy where you can do the same thing. But something tells me Japan might be easier to do that because the work ethic is different. Oh sure, you know, so if you need a repair man, they will show up, right. It's suggestion that maybe I'll help with your plumbing at some point. 00:32:15 Speaker 2: You know, my boyfriend's Italian, so we can just say they're a terrible people. Can't count on that Italian about that. I just know they have a different way of living, you know. Yes, I feel like Japan has maybe more of an infrastructure for that kind of thing. But maybe we're wrong. Maybe you just end up in a haunted house in the middle of the Japanese countryside and you're being you're screwed, terrorized by but the little girl from the well the ring man. 00:32:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well let's not look into that further. 00:32:48 Speaker 2: H Do you feel like that it's something you would enjoy moving into the rural countryside or that trive you crazy. 00:32:54 Speaker 3: No, I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it. We finally bought like a little vacation place because we'd never had one, and that's in New Orleans. Oh, and that's about as far away as I'm comfortable owning something, right, you know what I mean, And it's small. I don't want a big thing that I have to worry about, you know. And I don't want to air and b airbnb anything. So this was a situation that came up that made absolute sense, and that's great, But I don't think I could own something in another country. 00:33:30 Speaker 2: How often you going to New Orleans? 00:33:32 Speaker 3: Gosh, whenever we can. We're not on a set schedule and it all depends on like what I have to do work wise. But I wanted to go for Christmas this year. But it looks like they've got a lot of the French Quarter torn up and that's where renovation, yeah, big street renovation. Nothing they do makes any sense. But it is a fun place to go. 00:33:59 Speaker 2: What never been. There's a couple American cities where I just for whatever reason, have never been that I'd really like to go to. But there's never a real reason. Yeah, and I don't drink, okay, and good for you. No, it's neither good nor bad. It's just something I don't do. It's I'm not interested in drinking. So it's like, I know that is part of the experience and just kind of a party atmosphere. But I imagine there are other things to enjoy. The food is probably wonderful. 00:34:28 Speaker 3: See, I don't eat shellfish, so the food is not really I know I'm saying something really sacrilegious here. But I'm a music person. Oh okay, so that's my thing because I mean the minute you walk out the door in the morning, music's playing. There's a brass band playing, so well, it's like living in the middle of Disneyland, you know the dream. Yeah, or there's people dancing down the street or some random parade. It's just a really fun atmosphere. And the history is nuts, right. 00:35:03 Speaker 2: And then I'm sure I would love to go on a ghost tour. I would love to go on a swamp tour. These are things that appeal to me. Yeah, I guess I just have to say that's where I'm going on vacation. 00:35:11 Speaker 3: Yes, definitely. 00:35:13 Speaker 2: How many days is right, for it feels vagacy in a way where it's like it might be a lot, you know, like you don't need to be there for a long time. 00:35:20 Speaker 3: I'd say four or five days, okay, you know, and then and then all that energy kind of gets to you, right and you're like, okay, it's time to go back, and you know, get out of this little bubble. But it is a fascinating place. 00:35:34 Speaker 2: Have you been on a swamp tour? Yes? Did you see? Yes? Yeah? Terrifying. Well, you know there's. 00:35:43 Speaker 3: The Honey Island swamp, which is what they photographed to use in the Princess and the Fraud. Okay, sure, actually beautiful as swamps go. But you know it's on the Gulf, so that brackish water. You could get a bull shark in there. Well, it's Louisiana. People are just built different. A shark and a swing shark, and a gator, maybe some snakes. It's like, okay, well I don't want any of them, Like I want to look at these things from a distance. Please don't take me near a bull shark. Wow. 00:36:18 Speaker 2: Please. 00:36:18 Speaker 3: If you're telling me a snake is going to drop from those trees, we're not going near those trees, of course, But I saw we were on a swamp tour and this they some places they give you marshmallows to throw to the gators. Other places will give you like a protein ball, some weird. 00:36:35 Speaker 2: Pro marshmallow doesn't make a ton of sense for gator bait, but who am I to say? 00:36:38 Speaker 3: They love them. They have a sweet tooth, which also makes them diabetic if you feed them too many marshmallows. Just like with people, you don't want to do that. But this man said, oh, can I have one of those protein balls. He opened it up and put the ashes of his dead best friend and fed it to a gator because she was such a gator person. That is what she wanted. So he carried out her last wishes on this tour. And it was kind of like, God, that's so weird, but also what a good friend. 00:37:16 Speaker 2: Very sweet, And now I have a way I want to be disposed of, maybe not even as ash. Just throw my body at the swamp, just let the alligators go crazy with me. That should be a thing. 00:37:27 Speaker 3: That should be a thing. If that's what you really want, you should have it. 00:37:33 Speaker 2: You should have it. 00:37:34 Speaker 3: Also, I'm thinking that's a good business. 00:37:36 Speaker 2: To go into right, kind of like mortuary slash alligator feeding farm. The bodies just get taken out to the swamp and launched in there and then the alligators go nuts. 00:37:46 Speaker 3: Here we go, another brilliant business ideas. 00:37:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm challenger the amount of millionaires. This podcast has launched the listeners. Hopefully they're listening and you know, taking this advice. Somebody in New Orleans right now is saying I need Yeah. Here it is, go to mortuary school and buy a swamp boat. Yeah, maybe a catapult. You're in business. I love this. I feel like that's a totally fine thing to ask for. Well, Ash in a ball, Yeah did he Did he have to ask permission or they just. 00:38:18 Speaker 3: Well he did say hey, this is what I'm going to do, okay, because. 00:38:23 Speaker 2: He's got a gun and he's telling everybody, yeah, this. 00:38:25 Speaker 3: Is you know, this is what I'm about to accomplish here. And I did get it on video because I just couldn't believe what I was seeing, like that. That is the last thing in the world I thought I was going to see that day, But it really was like, that's so weird. But your weird friend wanted that, and you made sure she got it. 00:38:46 Speaker 2: God, does you know, do you have any preference about when you die? Cremation or burial, whatever's easiest. That's kind of how I feel. You know, nobody spent any time or money. 00:38:59 Speaker 3: Just be done with it, don't drag it out. That's that's the one of the saddest things when when you're when someone you know passes and then well we got to do this, and then we gotta have a big, long, you know, period of this, and so and so can't come in for a month, so we got to hold off. And it's like God to prolong that goodbye. Yes, when snappy, just make it snappy. 00:39:30 Speaker 2: That's a good idea of the name for the funeral home. Make it snappy, and the alligators are snapping. This is all coming together, truly, what a package. 00:39:38 Speaker 3: I love this so much. What if you just like launched them right off the back of your facility, So if you had like a mortuary that was on stilts near the swamp, you just launch them right out the back door. 00:39:55 Speaker 2: Everyone say you're good bye, make it snappy. 00:39:57 Speaker 3: Have some macaroni, and then get out we have another you know. 00:40:04 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is this business concept that this podcast has ever gotten to I'll take this to shark tank and see who bites? See who just looked it? 00:40:17 Speaker 3: It bites. 00:40:19 Speaker 2: Maybe there are just too many words for uh, succeeding that have to do with biting. Yeah, snappy bite interesting, but make it snappy. Funeral home, New Orleans coming, give me three years, probably a few permits I have to get through or whatever. Probably probably how long does it take to go to mortuary school? 00:40:38 Speaker 3: I don't know. But then you got to you got to construct the right you. 00:40:42 Speaker 2: Know, right, the right structure, structure. 00:40:45 Speaker 3: There will be some hurricanes between now and then. 00:40:48 Speaker 2: We tell what do you do during hurricane season? I guess you just throw them into the hurricane. 00:40:53 Speaker 3: And then they end up where they end up on top of somebody's house. Probably, yeah, which is fine at that point, it just doesn't matter her. 00:41:02 Speaker 2: Oh are you much of a Hello Kitty person? 00:41:06 Speaker 3: Not really? Not really. Growing up, I wanted to be a Hello Kitty person, but my parents would not buy me that stuff, right right, so, uh, you know they were they were very smart about, hey, we're not buying you barbies because that's taken us down a road of expensive. 00:41:24 Speaker 2: That you wanted. Then suddenly accessories galore. 00:41:27 Speaker 3: Exactly same with Hello Kitty. 00:41:30 Speaker 2: So what were they getting you into? 00:41:33 Speaker 3: They liked learning based things, and once I started taking dance classes, it was all about that. Right, you're a dancer, Well, sure, what kind of I was for a long time? Okay, I was for what sort of dancing? 00:41:51 Speaker 2: Were you doing? 00:41:52 Speaker 3: Jazz and ballet? Because my sister and I grew like really fast, so we were just these giant, gangly girls that have no grace whatsoever. So my parents were like, well, we got to fix this. 00:42:04 Speaker 2: We got to beat it into them. We gotta do something via tap. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: Tap dancing that'll bring it all together. No, but they put us in ballet, and then it kind of stuck and we did. 00:42:17 Speaker 2: How long did you do dance? Like into high school or was it into my thirties? Wow? That's that's the way I. 00:42:24 Speaker 3: Went to Japan. Was I was on a tour, a dance tour. 00:42:28 Speaker 2: We've really buried the lead here. 00:42:29 Speaker 3: Well it's not that exciting now, but. 00:42:32 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exciting to me. 00:42:33 Speaker 3: You were dancing in Japan, in Japan in nineteen ninety two, Oh my god, yeah, all around. I mean, I'm glad I got to go to Japan that way, of course, because I didn't have to pay for anything and getting paid. Yeah, and I got to see a lot of the country, right, you know, was our show good? 00:42:51 Speaker 2: No? 00:42:52 Speaker 3: It sucked. I'm embarrassed when I look at the pictures. But that's okay because we didn't have phones then, so the footage doesn't live anywhere. And yeah, I had a lot of fun memories. 00:43:06 Speaker 2: What was the show? Like? What were they advertising it in? 00:43:09 Speaker 3: So it was like a Latin review. So you're looking at me going, yes, I see why you were was the big assumption exactly. But this was the summer of the Olympics in Spain, okay, so it was like a Spanish a little taste of Spain exactly. So we had you know, we did Spanish themed numbers. A vocalist that sang it is very stupid. 00:43:35 Speaker 2: So have you dressed in. 00:43:38 Speaker 3: Let's see, like you know those big mambo rough that you wear on your arms, okay, and like a bikini looking thing or horrible just horrible little outfits, terrible, terrible and those shiny, ugly ass tights that people are wearing now of course that are like like the color of your diet coke. But put them on a fair skin person. It's fine, you know, and they make your legs look chunky because they're shiny, and for some reason, every pop star now is wearing those shiny ugly tide. 00:44:10 Speaker 2: That's one of those fashion choices where you're like, we all know now and it doesn't look good. Yeah, in ten years, it's going to look even worse. You're gonna be looking at the video and photos and being like, I knew even then it was the bad choice to make. 00:44:21 Speaker 3: I knew I shouldn't have been hip hop dancing in a majorrette uniform, but I did it anyway. 00:44:30 Speaker 2: And look where you are now. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: Look where you are now, Miss Lopez. 00:44:35 Speaker 2: Were there big audiences for these shows? 00:44:37 Speaker 3: Sometimes? 00:44:38 Speaker 1: Wow? 00:44:38 Speaker 3: So like sometimes we would perform in these beautiful clubs okay, you know, had bandstands, maybe look like Ricky Ricardo might come out, you know, beautiful. And then other times it was like, wait, is this a pizza hut at four in the afternoon, but or you know, like a beautiful hotel ballroom or something like that, And then yeah, how long were you in Japan for the tour? Lasted about a month? 00:45:06 Speaker 2: Okay, you know, so dream trip it was really fun. Wow, Yeah, I feel like you should do a revival. The next time you set put in Japan should be on another dance tour. I'll do it. You to come with me. I will be the manager. 00:45:23 Speaker 3: All right, Well, can't you do like a tight You know I can do. 00:45:27 Speaker 2: I'll dance. Yeah, I'll learn, learn a few numbers. You'll learn. 00:45:31 Speaker 3: Get a few eight counts together, that's all it takes. 00:45:35 Speaker 2: Yes, you and I do a taste of Spain too. 00:45:38 Speaker 3: Yes, Oh god, I love this. We're going to sing? Oh god, Oh well, I just I just messed that up. I don't know. 00:45:51 Speaker 2: We'll work on it. We've got a workshop scenes details. 00:45:55 Speaker 3: Certainly our friends and family will want to weigh in. 00:45:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, as they do they do. Well, is there anything left we have to say about Hello, Kitty Strawberry toilet paper? 00:46:04 Speaker 3: Just that you should enjoy every square of that. Don't go, you know, toilet papering someone's house. Yes, we did. 00:46:16 Speaker 2: We did. What a thrill? 00:46:18 Speaker 3: What a thrill? 00:46:19 Speaker 2: What a harmless thrill? 00:46:20 Speaker 3: I mean you know what else we did too, is we would spray paint the driveways. We did this people. It is such vandalism. But when we were in high school. This is the eighties. For some reason, in our school district. This is what everybody did. You would go out in the middle of the night, one of your little seventeen year old friends with a Volkswagen square back would cram ten people in and you would spray paint the stencil of whatever club you were in. 00:46:54 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:46:54 Speaker 2: Interesting, So I was. 00:46:55 Speaker 3: I was in you know, dance, and I was a cheerleader and all this so still in front of my parents' house, we have those stencils. Wow, you know, or water Polo eighty seven in the apron of your driveway. 00:47:08 Speaker 2: The dor kiest version of graffiti possible. 00:47:12 Speaker 3: So stupid. And we also had fraternities and sororities in my high school. In high school, yes, not sanctioned by the school, but they still did it. But they had their own stencils, and so you would, you know, just muck up the entire block. 00:47:28 Speaker 2: What a stencil centric education, I know. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, toilet papering is as far as we ever got. But I'd love to do that again, but I feel like once you get past eighteen, you can be arrested and then it becomes a real issue. 00:47:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, and also because we went through the toilet paper shortage, you. 00:47:46 Speaker 2: Know, a little precious about I kind of am with certain like there are certain things I'll see in my cupboard. It's like a food. It's like probably going to expire or has been expired, and I think I'll just leave it there just in case, in case, in case, there's a run on the grocery stores. It's a terrible feeling. 00:48:03 Speaker 3: That's a drum of balsamic vinegar from twenty ten. Now, if I know my vinegars, it just gets better. 00:48:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, So well, hang on to it. 00:48:17 Speaker 3: I'll put it down in the basement next to the organs, because you see, that's how we're tying it all together. 00:48:25 Speaker 2: Well, I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. But I need a number between one and ten from you. Four. Okay. I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now, you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want. I'll be right back. 00:48:38 Speaker 3: Okay. So Hi, everybody, it's Wendy McClendon Covey, and I just want you to watch Saint Dennis Medical on NBC every Monday night at eight next day on Peacock, because you know that's how we do things now. And I hope you all are having a beautiful new year. 00:48:59 Speaker 2: Gorgeous. Okay, everybody go watch Saint Dennis Medical. We have a lot of friends on that show, past guests, etc. Fun So and it's a good show. Fun you comedy. What a nice thing to have on television, A novelty to have comedy. Yeah, Okay, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. I'm going to name three things. I'm going you'll tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell if you're right or wrong. So there are correct answers. People have failed before it's ruined their lives, so just be very careful, all right, all right? This first one is from a Patreon listener named Corey. Gift or a Curse seasonal color analysis. 00:49:40 Speaker 3: That is a curse. And I'll tell you why I had my colors analyze back when this nonsense started, which was the early eighties. 00:49:50 Speaker 2: I am a summer okay. 00:49:52 Speaker 3: Okay, do you know how hard it is to find colors in that palette without dragging the damn book with you everywhere? Okay? 00:50:04 Speaker 2: What colors are in the summer? 00:50:06 Speaker 3: Okay, so summer you're not supposed to wear black? 00:50:08 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:50:09 Speaker 3: Well, well, I'm sorry, but that is the cornerstone of my life. 00:50:13 Speaker 2: And everyone looks good in black. 00:50:14 Speaker 3: Pretty much except summers should be wearing navy blue. 00:50:19 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, But I'm not going to. 00:50:21 Speaker 3: Be told that I can't wear navy or that I can't wear black, and that I don't look good in it. Shut up, there it is. I mean, look, when you see someone having their colors analyzed, you can see their face perk up or blanch out when you hold up certain things. Oh interesting, but it's just another thing to obsess about. It's it's right up there with counting your steps and counting your macros. It's just one more thing to obsess over. 00:50:52 Speaker 2: Did you go to a consultant? 00:50:54 Speaker 3: No, once again, my mother did it. She bought the book called Color Beautiful. Okay, and it gives your charts okay, okay, And so you're supposed to take it with you shopping. 00:51:07 Speaker 2: Come on, you're supposed to take it to every shopping trip. Yes, that's so unreasonable. 00:51:13 Speaker 3: It's unreasonable. 00:51:15 Speaker 2: I wonder what season I am. 00:51:17 Speaker 3: Oh, you are such an autumn. It's not funny. 00:51:20 Speaker 2: Okay, Yes, what does that say for me color wise, So you are gonna go with a. 00:51:30 Speaker 3: Yellow based red not a blue based red. 00:51:32 Speaker 2: Okay, interesting because you have red hair. Okay, that's good to know. 00:51:37 Speaker 3: So yellow or orange based things are your jam. Probably dark brown is your black? Oh? 00:51:45 Speaker 2: Interesting? I feel like green works for me? 00:51:49 Speaker 3: Is that a yellow based green? Probably does, but not a blue based. 00:51:53 Speaker 2: Stay away from blue based, yeah, because they probably make me look like a corpse. 00:51:58 Speaker 3: Yes? Interesting, Yes, and it'll make people want to throw you into the gator pe. 00:52:07 Speaker 2: Well, maybe that's the plan, Wendy. 00:52:09 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, am I wrong? Or am I right? Is this a blessing oracle? 00:52:12 Speaker 2: You're correct. It's a curse, as you've just demonstrated. It's it's immediately wrong because everybody can wear black, and everybody wants to be a little goth. So if you try to rule out black, any color is wrong, but that should be. Everyone should have a few black pieces in their more trobe. And I don't want to think about it. I don't want to carry a catalog to that. Don't tell me what to buy. Let me find out how awful I look in a color that'll be a surprise. Let me wear it out in public and have people gasp, look away, and then I start. That's good feedback. That's good, honest human feedback, not book feedback. So it's a curse. I don't need anyone to tell me what season I am. Let me choose. Yes, I'm a deep winter okay. Number two. This is from a picture on the surnamed Alice gift her a curse. The toilet with the big and little flush buttons dependent on contents of the toilet. 00:53:17 Speaker 3: I hate those. It is a curse. Why just always use the big one because that little one doesn't do anything? That little one sometimes wouldn't even take one square of Hello Candy toilet paper down. No, no, it's got to be the button, always as a courtesy for the next person. 00:53:46 Speaker 2: Correct, yes, thank you, No one uses that. Nobody ever obeys the little button. No, why would you use the little button? 00:53:54 Speaker 3: And aren't you really just pressing them both? Right? 00:53:59 Speaker 2: Do I have to read a book on how to use this thing? 00:54:01 Speaker 1: I don't. 00:54:01 Speaker 2: I don't need to think about the toilets. Yeah, the contents of the toilet are not the toilet's business. Yeah you know, I will just push the big buttons and make it all away. 00:54:12 Speaker 3: No one's ever. 00:54:13 Speaker 2: Using a little button. No one's that responsible, and if they are, there again probably making mistake for the next person who's using it. There should be no room for error in toilets. 00:54:22 Speaker 3: And if someone's gifting you a toilet, I don't want to know why. I don't want to know. 00:54:29 Speaker 2: What's wrong you I mentioned getting a toilet as a gift. I can't. It's a tough one. 00:54:33 Speaker 3: How do you How do you bluff your way through that? 00:54:36 Speaker 2: Thank you? You know? How do you move on? 00:54:40 Speaker 3: Although I would, I will say there is a store in New Orleans that sells these beautiful customized toilet seats. 00:54:46 Speaker 2: Really what sort of toilet seats? Like? 00:54:49 Speaker 3: Do you want your favorite singer airbrushed on a toilet seat the way you might on the side of a van, very swanky. 00:55:00 Speaker 2: Have you bought any No, not yet, not yet. There's nothing that makes a bathroom feel dirtier than a toilet seat that's not just a white toilet sea. 00:55:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it needs to be a pristine white toilet seat, maybe with a fluffy little cover. 00:55:21 Speaker 2: Absolute playground for disease. Yeah, bacteria everywhere. Okay, you've gotten two rights, so far, very good. Finally, this is from a listener named Adrian gift her a curse. When couple say we're pregnant, that is a curse. 00:55:35 Speaker 3: Why that is so gross? We're pregnant. 00:55:45 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, no, wrong, No, this is a gift, Wendy, This is an absolute gift. We all know that both partners are doing the exact amount of work within this pregnant. 00:56:00 Speaker 3: You're right, said the childless woman. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: The childless man. You're right. I see the thing to say. I think that every couple should say we're pregnant. Every couple should share a social media account. Totally healthy, totally normal. 00:56:23 Speaker 3: They should wear the same pajamas. They should wear matching pajamas. I'm not saying matching and saying same, like in tandem. 00:56:31 Speaker 2: It's like. 00:56:33 Speaker 3: Jamas tandem jammas again. Yeah, here we've got a new idea. Oh, Jams, we're so inspirational. 00:56:40 Speaker 2: I know, I know. Unfortunately you're not because you got that one wrong and you've only got two out of three. Right, that's got to sting a little bit. It does. Well, you'll learn eventually, you'll learn, all right. This is the final segment of the podcast. People are writing into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. They're begging for answers. We help me answer question, all right, Hello bridger and fabulous guest. That's nice. A dear friend of mine is getting married and is the anti bridezilla. For example, there will be no bridesmaids because she doesn't want anyone to feel obligated to wear a certain outfit, plan a bachelorette party, or generally spend any extra money or time on anything. Here is the conundrum. Her family has decided to throw her a bridal shower against her will, and our group of friends is invited. She texted us to say that if we brought a gift, we would be uninvited to the wedding. Ooh, and that us acting as a buffer between her and her family was gift enough, much like your guest own. Now they're putting something on you. We plan on disobeying this order and getting a collective gift. The ideal gift is something silly but maybe still useful to split between four people. So far, our only idea is a bidet. Now we're getting to toy that territory, so we would appreciate any suggestions you have. The bride loves crafting, baking, and her cat thinks in advance, that's Miranda. So Miranda's friend is a giant pain in the ass. She wants it all, she doesn't want it all. She's making demands of friends and family. Were you a bridezilla? 00:58:08 Speaker 3: I wasn't, But I've been in a lot of weddings. I've been in a lot of weddings. 00:58:12 Speaker 2: So you've probably seen all sorts of behavior. 00:58:14 Speaker 3: Yes, this person is. 00:58:17 Speaker 2: They just want a nice gift to split. The cost will be split between four people for their friends, who they obviously don't really like that much. She's writing in a nasty email about the friend to a podcast, so we know that they're not that close. And there's this weird emotional situation with the family inviting them to a thing that that bride doesn't want. There's probably going to be a fight at the party or the wedding. Yeah, so what do you do to kind of smooth things over? Is my question? The but day, I don't know that that's a great gift. 00:58:54 Speaker 3: No one wants you to buy them that. 00:58:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody wants When someone's opening that at the party, then suddenly we're all imagining you using the bidet exactly, and the family is here. 00:59:05 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, let's talk first about the emotional manipulation of her saying you better not get me anything or I will uninvite uninvited. Let's be serious. If they don't get you anything, she'll bitch about it forever, all right, Right, So I disagree with getting her like a fun, silly thing. Don't waste your money on something somebody can't. 00:59:33 Speaker 2: Use, right, Okay, The money is going to be spent either way. 00:59:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's going to be spent either way. So what you need to do is, in my opinion, give her an experience. 00:59:46 Speaker 2: Okay, So buy. 00:59:50 Speaker 3: Like a gift card for a restaurant or a hotel. 00:59:56 Speaker 2: Oh kind of even honeymoon level, yeah right. 00:59:59 Speaker 3: Or stay cation staking you know, find out where they're going on the honeymoon, get them a dinner wherever. That's gonna be right, right, But don't buy a gag gift. Okay. Nobody likes a gag gift because then the impetus is on them to find. 01:00:20 Speaker 2: Out what to do with this. 01:00:21 Speaker 3: Where I put this in the house and donate it right or unloaded on somebody else, you know what I mean. 01:00:27 Speaker 2: Now it's on the garage floor for five years. Come on, it's just like, don't leave it alone. I feel I agree in a large you know, it seems like the friend doesn't like their family. I'm almost wondering, maybe you get the friend a new phone plan where the family doesn't have that number. Now this is an idea. 01:00:47 Speaker 3: Now, this is just you making sense once again. I'm getting to the root of the phone that they don't have access, right. 01:00:55 Speaker 2: Essentially a burner phone. Now, how often do you get a burner own for your wedding? Not very often. 01:01:04 Speaker 3: But you are making so much thanks, thank you. 01:01:08 Speaker 2: You can get them a cute little cell phone, a cell phone case. Now we're getting in. It's probably a little more expensive, but it'll be worth it in the end. Yes, And then yes, they can stay in touch because they're obviously going to want to manipulate you in the future, call you screaming about what you've done wrong this time. This bride, I feel like you're not just a bridezilla, You're that's your whole life. No, one's just in one segment of their life. Difficult. No no, no, no no. They're difficult all the time the time. And now we're just paying attention to them being difficult. 01:01:38 Speaker 3: She's just a Zilla's okay, she's a zilla about different things at different time. 01:01:45 Speaker 2: Right, this one just happens to involve friends and family. So just be prepared for a lifetime of torture with this friend, with this friend. 01:01:54 Speaker 3: But I can say it's nice that she doesn't want to have any bridesmaids, because it is a pain in the end, it. 01:02:00 Speaker 2: Is a huge pain. It's a job, an unpaid position. 01:02:03 Speaker 3: An unpaid, shitty position that won't end, that will end, It never ends. You know, there's got to be a you know, engagement party, a save the date throwdown. 01:02:18 Speaker 2: You know this, and that the innovations that happen within within that industry are psychotic, psychotic whoever it's you have to keep the money flowing, so they're always thinking of a new event for people. 01:02:30 Speaker 3: To have exactly. And then it keeps you off balance for the first few years of your marriage because it sets a terrible precedent, you know, and it makes you believe that people are at your beck and call, and they are. 01:02:44 Speaker 2: Not so, and now you're deeply in debt. The whole thing is just a disaster. 01:02:49 Speaker 3: So then what what can you do to stir the excitement back up? Get pregnant and now we're in. 01:02:56 Speaker 2: The baby shower industrial complex. 01:02:59 Speaker 3: Sufferable, Yeah, make me our industrial complex. 01:03:02 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, it's never ending. So maybe just break up the marriage. That's my advice. Break up the marriage and move on. I think we answered the question perfectly. We did no complaints, and now I've got all this toilet paper. I'm so thrilled. 01:03:17 Speaker 3: I'm so thrilled for you. This is going to be a really expansive time for you. 01:03:21 Speaker 2: Yes, there's going to be growth in new areas of my life. 01:03:24 Speaker 3: You're gonna be like, what else can I Hello Kitty? 01:03:28 Speaker 2: And they have something for everything they do? You can get Hello Kitty on anything at this point. 01:03:32 Speaker 3: Yes you can, Yes you can. 01:03:33 Speaker 2: Thank you for bringing this, thank you for being so welcome, Thank you for having me listener the podcast. I'm pulling the brake slowly, gently. We're all going to move on with our days. No one is panicking, no one is sweating, no one is turning into an anxious mess and thinking about everything they've ever done wrong. We're just moving on with our days. So I'm going to let you go. I love you, goodbye. I said no gifts is an exactly right production. Our Senior producer is on Alisa Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Toliday. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said, no gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see the gifts? 01:04:28 Speaker 1: The lion? 01:04:29 Speaker 3: Why did you hear. 01:04:33 Speaker 1: Thot a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, Your our presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dan to survey me 01:05:01 Speaker 3: The pain