WEBVTT - Your Prinze Will Come

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<v Speaker 1>This is how men think with broths like and Gavin

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<v Speaker 1>to grab and I heard radio podcast back with us

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<v Speaker 1>in studio again. He was such a stud On the

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<v Speaker 1>first episode, Mr Freddie Prince Jr. Amy told me to say, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>look good. Our listeners loved you. Man. I appreciate you guys,

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<v Speaker 1>I appreciate the love. Man. They loved you. Did your

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<v Speaker 1>wife how amazing you are and she agreed, Oh well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm glad I get to come home to I got.

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<v Speaker 1>I got a soft spot for for Canadians and a

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<v Speaker 1>soft spot for for musicians over the Canadian man is

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<v Speaker 1>a disciplined beast man like. I've done a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>movies up there. I met a lot of m m

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<v Speaker 1>A fighters that are there different breeds than what we

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<v Speaker 1>have done here. I've always respected it, and the musician

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<v Speaker 1>life is the biggest struggle my My uncle's Paul Williams.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the president of ASCA. That's your union dog. He

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<v Speaker 1>was my dad's best friend. Wrote the ray about connection. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>one of the I've always had a soft spot for musicians.

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<v Speaker 1>I know the hustle's real. And I love that you

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<v Speaker 1>said you took three years writing songs in between albums

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<v Speaker 1>and that's such the sign of somebody who's staying true

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<v Speaker 1>to themselves, and I appreciate it As an artist. I

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<v Speaker 1>just respect that. Yeah, man, dude, you're so good, isn't

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<v Speaker 1>he is? That voice just coming through the He's got it.

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<v Speaker 1>He's got it. Got the voice. The voices sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>some dumb stoner surfer from l A. You have a

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<v Speaker 1>fantastic voice. Dude, You're book more videos. Say our names.

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<v Speaker 1>We want to hear our names, Brooks and Gavin. There

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<v Speaker 1>you go, so good? Should should we have him do

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<v Speaker 1>like a lead in for the show how menting with

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<v Speaker 1>Brooks and Gavin. That's right, don't forget to listen to

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<v Speaker 1>Freddie's podcast. Have him say hey, this is Did we

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<v Speaker 1>have him say his name before he say I'm guesting

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<v Speaker 1>today with such and such start the show. Maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>should read in the show like say hey, what's up

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah and I got yes, Like that would be cool.

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<v Speaker 1>That that would have been cool like five minutes ago.

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<v Speaker 1>For it's kind of cool. At the end of the show.

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<v Speaker 1>On today's episode, right at the end, never say money

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<v Speaker 1>friends Jr. Brooks and Gavin a great show and then

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<v Speaker 1>it's over. We're going to have some more fun today, buddy.

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<v Speaker 1>I always appreciate I appreciate you last week coming in

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<v Speaker 1>and thank you again for coming here for this show.

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<v Speaker 1>My pleasure man, I know Burbank well. Yeah, Friends, and

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<v Speaker 1>the Wolf is our podcast comedian Josh Wolf. He's super funny.

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<v Speaker 1>He's been in the game forever. And uh my YouTube

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<v Speaker 1>channel is called geg Head. It's Egghead with a G

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<v Speaker 1>and it's a bunch of comics, actors, musicians, and pro

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<v Speaker 1>wrestlers playing table top games. You guys want to have

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<v Speaker 1>some laughs or see that kind of stuff. It's there

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<v Speaker 1>to How do you? How does how did Gavin and

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<v Speaker 1>Brooks get invited into Anytime? Man? What's going on around?

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<v Speaker 1>He do a little cheaters Monopoly man cheeters Welcome. I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like we'd be the suckers we show up to

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<v Speaker 1>like a dungeon dragon something. They just they just take

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<v Speaker 1>all our money and do a starter group. You'll do

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<v Speaker 1>a starter group we need? Yeah, Okay, let's do it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm in for I'm in next up. Diet al right,

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<v Speaker 1>here we go, Gavin's favorite topic, diet and nutrition. Diet

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<v Speaker 1>and nutrition are so important to me. They are I

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<v Speaker 1>know I can live for them. Basic pizza based on

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<v Speaker 1>the pizza that you were just ducking into blue cheese dress.

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<v Speaker 1>But I can't believe we're talking about diet shod pizza

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<v Speaker 1>in our mouth. Yeah, we've been working hard. Thank you,

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<v Speaker 1>d table pizza. We've been working hard. Chet cheet day.

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<v Speaker 1>You are. You are a pretty much a professional nutritionist

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<v Speaker 1>and registered dietitian. Anyway, when you walked in the room,

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<v Speaker 1>I felt it. You could feel it for aura like

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<v Speaker 1>I could sense it. It just it screamed Atkins. You

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<v Speaker 1>saw those boxes on my stomach. He thought it was

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<v Speaker 1>a storage facility. That's right, get cleaner as you wear.

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<v Speaker 1>Just just to help you, just to help you do

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<v Speaker 1>the heavy lifting here. In this next second, we're also

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<v Speaker 1>going to bring on friend of the show, previous guests

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<v Speaker 1>of the show. She might be the first person that's

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<v Speaker 1>been on two times with us. Christie's back with us, Christie, Christie,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up? Hi? I know, I wish, I know, I

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<v Speaker 1>so wish I could be instinuing with you. Guys know

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<v Speaker 1>we miss you. So you're a sports dietitian at the

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<v Speaker 1>University of Southern California. You have a massive, massive resume here,

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<v Speaker 1>but you are my favorite story to tell every time

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<v Speaker 1>I talk about you, was you were our sports nutrition

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<v Speaker 1>coach for the l A Kings when I played here

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<v Speaker 1>in town. Yes, I was. Yeah, so we we if

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<v Speaker 1>we're like our listeners to eight and drank probably everything

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<v Speaker 1>over the holidays, we love for some tips in the

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<v Speaker 1>start of the new year to get our diet and

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<v Speaker 1>nutrition back in line. Where do we start if we're

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<v Speaker 1>just we just gorge over the holidays, where do we

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<v Speaker 1>even start for this one? Well, that's a great question.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I definitely think everybody, It feels like most

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<v Speaker 1>people that I've talked to you to everybody has this

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<v Speaker 1>goal for the newal of like how do I know,

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<v Speaker 1>restructure my life and just cut myself into a better

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<v Speaker 1>routine and have it. And I always tell people that

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<v Speaker 1>the best thing you can do for yourself is to track,

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<v Speaker 1>not even on my Fitness Pal or any of those

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<v Speaker 1>apps with calories, because I think that can lead to

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<v Speaker 1>just obsessive behaviors, but just even just start like writing

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<v Speaker 1>down what you eat and what time, everything that goes

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<v Speaker 1>in your mouth, because I think people are so busy

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<v Speaker 1>that would end up happening is that they hardly eat

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<v Speaker 1>during the day and then they come home and they're

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<v Speaker 1>exhausted and they just eat a bunch of stuff at night,

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<v Speaker 1>and then they start the cycle all over where they

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<v Speaker 1>hardly eat in the morning it sort of continues, or

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<v Speaker 1>they're snacking on things that they're not even aware of

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<v Speaker 1>because they're so busy and they're hungry, and then a

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<v Speaker 1>coworker brings and donuts or whatever, and you end up,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, falling into that type of habits. So the

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<v Speaker 1>first thing I think would be to keep a food

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<v Speaker 1>bog of what you eat in the times and begin

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<v Speaker 1>to see your patterns like either you are not eating

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<v Speaker 1>enough protein and so you're over eating on carbohydrates and sugars,

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<v Speaker 1>or you have that you know, three o'clock slum in

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<v Speaker 1>the afternoon where all you want is sugar, and that

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<v Speaker 1>could be because you didn't eat enough at lunch. So

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<v Speaker 1>you kind of begin to see you just habits and patterns.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's all is a great place to start.

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<v Speaker 1>And then it's being realistic with yourself of exercise, and

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<v Speaker 1>that has to be a part of anybody's health and

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<v Speaker 1>fitness goals is to fit that in. And what I

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<v Speaker 1>think is happening because Instagram has blowing up with all

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<v Speaker 1>these wonderful fitness videos and in different ways, finding something

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<v Speaker 1>that really resonates with you instead of trying to do

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<v Speaker 1>with what a friend of doing that you don't even

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<v Speaker 1>like to do and you actually hate the whole time

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing it. So it's finding something that you really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy doing and that could be a video or could

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<v Speaker 1>be trying a different class. Um. So those two things

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<v Speaker 1>of the food blog and then finding something that you

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<v Speaker 1>can commit to that you enjoy. In terms of moving

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<v Speaker 1>your body, let's say say, oh no, you go. You're

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<v Speaker 1>already logging. Over logging, Christie logging Now. They say that

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<v Speaker 1>getting the right amount of risks helps your muscle develop.

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<v Speaker 1>If I just sleep all the time, can I get ripped?

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<v Speaker 1>You're going to be shredded, Christie, sleep all day. As

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<v Speaker 1>as you were talking, you're on the last time you're

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<v Speaker 1>here with us, you were in studio, but you're on

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<v Speaker 1>the phone right now. As you were talking, Gavin wrote

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<v Speaker 1>pizza thirty on his plate as pizza plate, so he's

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<v Speaker 1>taking your advice. And then and then as you talked

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<v Speaker 1>about working out, he looked at me because I have

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<v Speaker 1>a fitness appy. He's like, yeah, get me set up

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<v Speaker 1>on that app. That's right there you go. I mean

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<v Speaker 1>I actually have and it's incredible. Yes, and for our listeners,

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<v Speaker 1>for everybody listening. Also, we're going to give you fifty

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<v Speaker 1>off your first month if you go to open Gym.

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<v Speaker 1>Just go on, go on our Instagram. I can't believe

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<v Speaker 1>you're not going to give me a free month, buddy.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll give it to you if you go on. For

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<v Speaker 1>anybody listening to your kickstarting your health, nutrition with Christy

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<v Speaker 1>is a big part of it, but also fitness that

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<v Speaker 1>as well. Um, how men think listeners will get fifty

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<v Speaker 1>off their first month, find us on Instagram at open

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<v Speaker 1>Gym and when you sign up, type in h MT

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<v Speaker 1>podcast all in capital letters and you'll get Is there

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<v Speaker 1>a program for guys who don't want to pull tendons? Yeah? Man,

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<v Speaker 1>we have bodyweight program which is like twenty minutes a day.

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<v Speaker 1>My mom does that every single day. But you're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>give Gavin two months, I'll give you Gavin two more months.

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<v Speaker 1>He's so dedicated. Can I tell you what ladies worry about?

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<v Speaker 1>What's that? Yes? I need to get me. Something's wrong

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<v Speaker 1>up here on my arms. Something's wrong right here. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>pointing to my belly. But if I get if we

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<v Speaker 1>get too thin in the belly, I'm going to lose

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<v Speaker 1>the one part I like, which are the b o

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<v Speaker 1>o bes you? Yeah, stop reusing Yeah, I mean that idea, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I know everybody wants to have this like beautifully sculpted body,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I want to lose it from here, but not here.

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<v Speaker 1>If I could just take this fat from a stomach

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<v Speaker 1>and put it on my chest or like put it

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<v Speaker 1>on my butt, like obviously there's I mean that's why

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<v Speaker 1>I think lifting weights, especially for women, is so important.

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<v Speaker 1>I think there's still this idea of cardio cardio cardio

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<v Speaker 1>when it's I know, but it's I mean, it is

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<v Speaker 1>really about sculpting and toning your body, and unless you

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<v Speaker 1>have some type of resistance training, it's there's that is

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<v Speaker 1>such a huge component. And remember, after the age of thirty,

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<v Speaker 1>you lose a pound of muscle a year, so already

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<v Speaker 1>replacing that you are going to be replacing it with fat,

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<v Speaker 1>and fat doesn't burn any calories. And now you're in

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<v Speaker 1>a like a really a situation where you have to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out what you're eating and how you're eating because

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have a lot of room, you know, the

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<v Speaker 1>muscle you have, the more calories you burn. Fat makes

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<v Speaker 1>drinking into pool easier though regardless of temperature. The only

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<v Speaker 1>thing again, Brettie Prince Jr. Ever have to show his

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<v Speaker 1>abs in a film. Yeah, I've had to show the washboard.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had to show you not not when you got

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<v Speaker 1>an eight package. So Chris Christie, can you can you

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<v Speaker 1>give our listeners a couple of tips just to get

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<v Speaker 1>him out of the gate to start. Yeah, that's what

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to ask you. If you're just getting started right,

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<v Speaker 1>like you're just getting started. It's hard to do stuff

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<v Speaker 1>cold turkey, But diet is about ninety And this isn't

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<v Speaker 1>me saying this. I've spoken to a couple of physiologists,

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<v Speaker 1>and I've had personal trainers, and I've heard this repeatedly.

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<v Speaker 1>The diet is responsible for just about of your gains

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<v Speaker 1>and losses, and exercise is going to be the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of that. Now, I've heard different numbers, but it's always high.

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<v Speaker 1>What I know a lot of people who just say

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<v Speaker 1>they can't cook, but prep meals seem to be the

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<v Speaker 1>easiest way I've found to do that. Do you believe

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<v Speaker 1>in that? How can you help people? And do you

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<v Speaker 1>think christ is diet. Oh absolutely not. It's exercise because

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<v Speaker 1>those seriously, because there's plenty of people who work out

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<v Speaker 1>all the time and you see them, you're you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing's changing. Like those are the ones that are doing

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<v Speaker 1>all the work, and they'll do like those spend two

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<v Speaker 1>hours in the jam. But then if they don't work

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<v Speaker 1>on the nutrition, they're really just it's it's yeah, they're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to see results. So you'll never Christians part

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<v Speaker 1>is huge. Yeah. I always say you'll never outtrain a

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<v Speaker 1>poor it. That's good. You just won't. You just won't.

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<v Speaker 1>Even if you train, even if you train as much

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<v Speaker 1>as I train, you'll never out train a poor diet

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<v Speaker 1>because the poor diet will continue and at some point

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<v Speaker 1>the training will slack off a little bit. Diet, and

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<v Speaker 1>specifically within diet, portion control is a massive, massive party

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<v Speaker 1>something to help with that. And I don't get any

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<v Speaker 1>money from George Foreman, but those George Foreman grills are

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.160
<v Speaker 1>those little like little grills that fit in anybody's apartment. Freddie,

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't have a stove. You got a George Forman grill.

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.679
<v Speaker 1>And also it also helps with portion control because you

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:35.440
<v Speaker 1>can only fit so much on that bad boy. But

0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.880
<v Speaker 1>if you can get a chicken breast and some vegetables

0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:40.120
<v Speaker 1>on there and do that, you know, three or four

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.200
<v Speaker 1>times in one night, and set your meal prep up

0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 1>for the week, that can help people a lot with

0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.880
<v Speaker 1>making healthier choices. Man, a lot of times it's just choices, right,

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:50.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh it is. I mean, I think what you said

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.400
<v Speaker 1>about like meal prepping is a huge component to this,

0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.200
<v Speaker 1>because the point is that if you don't have the

0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.560
<v Speaker 1>healthy foods in the house you begin with, then you

0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:01.680
<v Speaker 1>you of you know, you're gonna start your work week

0:13:01.840 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 1>and end up just eating out most of the time,

0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:05.680
<v Speaker 1>which is a lot of people's problems. They don't kirk

0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.080
<v Speaker 1>at home because they either they don't have the time

0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.040
<v Speaker 1>or whatever the situation is. But there's so many simple,

0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.880
<v Speaker 1>easy things that you can prepare at home that are

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 1>just like you know, badge cook a bunch of like groll,

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.040
<v Speaker 1>a bunch of chicken or roast, a bunch of vegetables.

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.160
<v Speaker 1>And when you're looking at your plate. For those that

0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.120
<v Speaker 1>are trying to really cut back but they were so

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:26.720
<v Speaker 1>used to eating large portions, that's when you have to

0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.599
<v Speaker 1>have half of your plate being vegetables and then a

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.880
<v Speaker 1>quarter protein and even maybe a little bit less of

0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:37.480
<v Speaker 1>a quarter then of carbohydrates. And eating slowly is also

0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.880
<v Speaker 1>something that's incredibly important too, because if you're eating fast,

0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:43.080
<v Speaker 1>then your body hasn't had a chance to kind of

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.800
<v Speaker 1>catch up and tell you that it's had enough. You're hungry,

0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:49.160
<v Speaker 1>so then you go back and eat more. And then lady,

0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 1>you're like, why am myself full? Yeah? I gotta tell

0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.840
<v Speaker 1>my ten year old daughter this all the time. I'm like,

0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.520
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna make yourself sick, yea, but I'm not full yet.

0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:58.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, because you ate a whole plate of food

0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:02.200
<v Speaker 1>in four and a half minutes, can go slow. The

0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.640
<v Speaker 1>other thing, one other thing I think people are sometimes

0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 1>guilty of is they'll they'll be really they'll be like, oh,

0:14:09.040 --> 0:14:12.320
<v Speaker 1>just they'll under eat. Actually, when we talk about portion control,

0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 1>I think some people will under eat, which leads to

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:19.640
<v Speaker 1>them over eating. So they won't they won't have breakfast,

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 1>or they'll just have something light at breakfast. Then maybe

0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.480
<v Speaker 1>they just have like a small salad lunch, but they're

0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:26.240
<v Speaker 1>really now starting to get hungry. They don't have a

0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:29.400
<v Speaker 1>mid afternoon like healthy snack bar, and they push that

0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 1>off until like five or six o'clock. Then their their

0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.400
<v Speaker 1>brain and their body is just going crazy and they'll

0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 1>just eat now anything like that. Bill Gates, he's the

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 1>exception of the rule. Bill Gates does not eat breakfast.

0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.120
<v Speaker 1>His first meal isn't until one o'clock in the afternoon

0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.000
<v Speaker 1>every single day. I have no idea how he does.

0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:49.160
<v Speaker 1>He might he might be intermittent fasting, or he's very

0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>popular too. Can you touch on that, Christie, intermitte fasting, yeah,

0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.320
<v Speaker 1>or just the not eating and then overeating at night.

0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean both, Yeah, let's go both. Let's talk about Yeah.

0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean I think inter fasting is. I mean, look,

0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.880
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of research to back it up. I'm

0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:07.080
<v Speaker 1>one to say, like mostly I would say for the

0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.000
<v Speaker 1>average person, it's it's not for everybody. Um, And you

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 1>have to just do your research and do it in

0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.760
<v Speaker 1>a way where you can do smaller windows. You don't

0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.480
<v Speaker 1>have to do these long hours without eating. But um,

0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:21.440
<v Speaker 1>but I do think there's this over snacking issue some

0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.760
<v Speaker 1>people do too, where that intermitte fasting can be very helpful,

0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:26.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, so you you have a shorter window of

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 1>time during the day. But I don't think especially if

0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.280
<v Speaker 1>somebody is starting out and they want to you know,

0:15:33.400 --> 0:15:36.280
<v Speaker 1>look good and feel good for the new I would say,

0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.680
<v Speaker 1>don't do any set don't I would you know, stay

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 1>away from more of the diets and really just look

0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.160
<v Speaker 1>at your behaviors and cut back on the amount of

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.360
<v Speaker 1>sugars and excess snacking that people do. Which I think

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:50.800
<v Speaker 1>that when I see people in my private practice for

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>weight loss, and when I start talking to them about

0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:56.480
<v Speaker 1>what they're currently eating, they are just there in the car.

0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.680
<v Speaker 1>They're snacking because they maybe bring nuts and now they're

0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 1>you know what, what once was like a healthier option

0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.040
<v Speaker 1>to bring nuts in your car just in case you

0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.400
<v Speaker 1>get hungry, But now they're sitting into hours of traffic

0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:07.280
<v Speaker 1>and that bag of less is gone before they get home.

0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:11.600
<v Speaker 1>So there's a lot of that happening. Um. But I

0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:16.400
<v Speaker 1>certainly feel like intermitute fasting can be really, really helpful

0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 1>for a lot of people. I've seen many people lose

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.680
<v Speaker 1>weight and keep it off by doing that. But it's

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.560
<v Speaker 1>a dedication. They really it's got to work in your

0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:27.000
<v Speaker 1>life because it's you know, very difficult to do. If

0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 1>you want to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a

0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.640
<v Speaker 1>timely fashion. How do you how do you feel about fat? Fat?

0:16:35.080 --> 0:16:38.120
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean, like food that has fat.

0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:44.080
<v Speaker 1>You're like no sugar, no carbs or less sugar, less carbs.

0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:46.360
<v Speaker 1>How about fat? I'm actually trying to how do you

0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:49.440
<v Speaker 1>feel about fat? You know what I mean? Like cream

0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:54.120
<v Speaker 1>heavy cream on the meat and that now, So I

0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 1>would prefer people to use healthier mono unsaturated fats, like

0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.640
<v Speaker 1>to end extra avocado, go ahead and add an extra

0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:06.280
<v Speaker 1>table stone of olive oil to your salad, um and

0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.960
<v Speaker 1>still and be satiated that way then, um, cutting out

0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.600
<v Speaker 1>fat or going for like the heavy fats, like you know,

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:15.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to smother my salad and branch now

0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:23.720
<v Speaker 1>because I want to because delicious. Here. Hey, so here's

0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:27.600
<v Speaker 1>another question. So I go out, you know for breakfast,

0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:32.120
<v Speaker 1>say right, because I live in hotels and stuff. So um,

0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:34.399
<v Speaker 1>when I say, I order some eggs, right, and I

0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:36.959
<v Speaker 1>asked them, hey, do you mind not using any oil?

0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Can you just please cook it in butter? How do

0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 1>you feel about that? Do I have a death wish? Um?

0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:45.960
<v Speaker 1>Not necessarily, because first of all, that's that's one I

0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:49.639
<v Speaker 1>never looked at one thing and it would categorize you

0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.680
<v Speaker 1>as like, oh wow, like you're on to you grow

0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:56.080
<v Speaker 1>to destruction because you like your eggs and butter. But yeah,

0:17:56.119 --> 0:18:00.400
<v Speaker 1>I was going to say that stuff, but but yeah,

0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.920
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I you know, I don't think the butter

0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.280
<v Speaker 1>is necessarily a bad thing. I think there's a lot

0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:09.320
<v Speaker 1>worse um fats out there, to be honest, um, so

0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.159
<v Speaker 1>I would which fats do you think are worse? Like

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.720
<v Speaker 1>so bad? Please? You're asking like you want to know

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.760
<v Speaker 1>where they are so you could eat them. I'm kind

0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:22.960
<v Speaker 1>of curious why all the hil There's a lot of

0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:26.040
<v Speaker 1>stuff like canola oils that are very hy I mean,

0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.199
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of different like oils and and like

0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I was saying, like ranch or um even like heavy creams,

0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:36.439
<v Speaker 1>Like those kinds of things wouldn't be first on my

0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.919
<v Speaker 1>list of something you should be having on a legular basis.

0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:40.159
<v Speaker 1>But if you were, like, you know what, this is

0:18:40.200 --> 0:18:43.359
<v Speaker 1>what I really enjoy, like having my eggs cooked in butter.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.159
<v Speaker 1>But then for the rest of the day, I'm very

0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:47.639
<v Speaker 1>you know, mindful of other saturated fats that I put

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:50.919
<v Speaker 1>in my diet. That's the key. It's when people eliminate

0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:55.360
<v Speaker 1>everything and then they're just unhappy and livable. Then they

0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:58.160
<v Speaker 1>start eating other things. So to me, it's like looking

0:18:58.200 --> 0:18:59.879
<v Speaker 1>at your overall diet and be like, if that's what

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:02.200
<v Speaker 1>you like for your breakfast, as long as the rest

0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.480
<v Speaker 1>of the day isn't like pizza and burger and French

0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:08.719
<v Speaker 1>fries and other stuff, then you're okay. So canola oils

0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.639
<v Speaker 1>like the Floyd Mayweather of oils, like it looks like

0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:14.480
<v Speaker 1>it's going to give you something delicious, but at the

0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:20.880
<v Speaker 1>end you're very unsatisfied. And canola oils are genetically modified.

0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I think that's part of the problem. And then you've

0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.919
<v Speaker 1>got to be careful too, like if you're you're heating

0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:31.280
<v Speaker 1>certain oils as well, Like you really want to cook

0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:34.679
<v Speaker 1>an avocado oil or coconut oil versus if you're frying

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.359
<v Speaker 1>things in olive oil. It's not ideal. Listener, how do

0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:41.720
<v Speaker 1>I know you're not invested in the avocado oil industries.

0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:47.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm definitely not. I would just kidding, um. But yeah,

0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.840
<v Speaker 1>So I think that it's kind of looking at That's

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:52.480
<v Speaker 1>what I was saying. I think everybody sort of needs

0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:54.720
<v Speaker 1>to take a step back and look at their behaviors

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.360
<v Speaker 1>and point and understand some of the things that they're

0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.760
<v Speaker 1>consuming that they really enjoy. Like I have a client

0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.399
<v Speaker 1>who loves bagels, and she's like, if I could just

0:20:03.440 --> 0:20:07.200
<v Speaker 1>have a bagel for every breakfast, I really not crave

0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:09.040
<v Speaker 1>as many carbs throughout the day. And I've done that.

0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:12.080
<v Speaker 1>She's lost arouny fifteen pounds. But before she was like,

0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I heard bagels are bad, they make you gain weight.

0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:16.639
<v Speaker 1>That she may carbohydrates or whatever it's for her. My

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.520
<v Speaker 1>wife Jewish, she would have smacked her if she heard

0:20:18.520 --> 0:20:22.600
<v Speaker 1>her say those things about bagels. See, but you've got

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.719
<v Speaker 1>to work with each person. So I think that's why

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:29.040
<v Speaker 1>it's not a cookie cutter way of developing a healthy lifestyle,

0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:33.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, and cookies can be part of that. Christie,

0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:36.159
<v Speaker 1>I appreciate you coming on. UM, I have one more question,

0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:38.800
<v Speaker 1>just one more, like, just tell our listeners if this

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.600
<v Speaker 1>is good or bad. This is what I uh, real

0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.120
<v Speaker 1>simple formula I try and follow. Um. I try and

0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:47.920
<v Speaker 1>eat very lean. You're very clean, but I try and

0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 1>if I'm going to eat any carbs or starches, I'll

0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.520
<v Speaker 1>do it before two o'clock because my metabolism will naturally

0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:55.360
<v Speaker 1>slow down after two pm. And then in the evening

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.399
<v Speaker 1>I'll do a meat with a steam vegetable, so a

0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:01.720
<v Speaker 1>protein with a steam vegetable carbs earlier in the day

0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:05.320
<v Speaker 1>because your metabolism is higher steam vegetables, leaner meal in

0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:10.119
<v Speaker 1>the evening. So yes, all of that I totally agree

0:21:10.160 --> 0:21:13.760
<v Speaker 1>with completely, unless you're a person who I have people

0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:15.840
<v Speaker 1>who work out at night and then they're like the

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:18.159
<v Speaker 1>protein and vegetable saying. So it depends on also when

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.199
<v Speaker 1>your workout is. But you're right, carbs are designed for

0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:23.640
<v Speaker 1>to the energy right, and as the day goes on

0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 1>and work, you know, most people kind of slowed down

0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:29.480
<v Speaker 1>midday to the evening. That's when they should be having

0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:31.960
<v Speaker 1>less carbs forsa. But I have clients who work out

0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:34.920
<v Speaker 1>let's say at seven, like six o'clock or right after work,

0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:37.919
<v Speaker 1>all put in a little bit of carbohydrate, but a

0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:41.640
<v Speaker 1>small amount um. But for in general, I would say

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:44.399
<v Speaker 1>that's a good that's a really good rule. But also

0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:48.280
<v Speaker 1>to caveat that making sure that they're not over consuming

0:21:48.280 --> 0:21:51.000
<v Speaker 1>on carbs earlier in the day because I can't have

0:21:51.080 --> 0:21:52.480
<v Speaker 1>them at night, you know what I mean. So I

0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 1>think it's like a little bit of Philip on my

0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:57.840
<v Speaker 1>keen while lunch because I'm not gonna have any at dinner.

0:21:57.960 --> 0:22:01.919
<v Speaker 1>So it's it's always like making sure that the amount is,

0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:04.879
<v Speaker 1>you know, like a fist a fistful for most people.

0:22:04.960 --> 0:22:07.400
<v Speaker 1>It depends on that. But if you look at your

0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:10.000
<v Speaker 1>plate and it's covered in quinoa or you have a

0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:12.920
<v Speaker 1>ton of potatoes or rice, it's always a good idea

0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:16.199
<v Speaker 1>to cut back on carbs in general and sugar and

0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 1>that proteins healthy fats and vegetables with the majority. Awesome,

0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:22.080
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. Chocolate and bowler berries I eat

0:22:22.160 --> 0:22:28.560
<v Speaker 1>right before bed. I'm nailing it. Yes, listen, keep that

0:22:28.640 --> 0:22:31.720
<v Speaker 1>in for sure, Christie, thank you so much. Um, where

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:34.040
<v Speaker 1>can our listeners find you? Should? They want more information

0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:36.760
<v Speaker 1>on this? They want to start in a healthy new way.

0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:39.920
<v Speaker 1>So a couple of I think, Amy, have my my

0:22:40.080 --> 0:22:45.280
<v Speaker 1>social website. I believe, Um, and that made you get

0:22:45.359 --> 0:22:47.560
<v Speaker 1>give out your new Instagram that you never post on.

0:22:47.640 --> 0:22:50.920
<v Speaker 1>I know she's so bad at market. So KM cam

0:22:51.000 --> 0:22:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Sports Nutrition is the website KM Sports Nutrition. And then Um,

0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:01.000
<v Speaker 1>do you want email or no, don't get your email?

0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:05.399
<v Speaker 1>What's your instagram? Dude? Oh Christie dot Morrell m O

0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:08.080
<v Speaker 1>R R E l L. So now you'll just see

0:23:08.080 --> 0:23:15.000
<v Speaker 1>pictures of Christie's kids. Christie, I thought that's that. I agree, Amy,

0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 1>I know you've trying to start like a whole thing.

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:18.320
<v Speaker 1>She just told everybody want to eat. We're going to

0:23:18.400 --> 0:23:21.160
<v Speaker 1>tell her to be better about marketing, you know. She

0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:23.960
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much. I always appreciate it. Gets never

0:23:24.000 --> 0:23:27.080
<v Speaker 1>get down the marketing, um Amy. We gotta get Christie

0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:30.159
<v Speaker 1>back in studio with us because diet it's such an

0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:32.199
<v Speaker 1>important part of aut a healthy life. So thank you

0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:35.359
<v Speaker 1>so much. Thank you Christy, Thank you guys. All right,

0:23:35.359 --> 0:23:44.679
<v Speaker 1>take care. This one's the scary one. This is the

0:23:44.720 --> 0:23:47.560
<v Speaker 1>scary one. This is a massive Our community reached out

0:23:47.640 --> 0:23:50.480
<v Speaker 1>and sent us so many questions and topics and wanted

0:23:50.560 --> 0:23:56.960
<v Speaker 1>us to dive into this one. Anxiety, anxiety, stress, all

0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:00.720
<v Speaker 1>of the things anxiety. We're going to dive in to anxiety.

0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:03.280
<v Speaker 1>People want to reduce the amount of stress and anxiety

0:24:03.320 --> 0:24:07.000
<v Speaker 1>that they have in their everyday life. I want nothing

0:24:07.000 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 1>more for people to reduce that and feel calm and

0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:14.480
<v Speaker 1>feel grace and feel poised and fun and free in

0:24:14.520 --> 0:24:17.760
<v Speaker 1>their lives versus stressing, stressing, stress. I know people in

0:24:17.800 --> 0:24:19.280
<v Speaker 1>my life who are just stressed, and it doesn't I

0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:20.960
<v Speaker 1>don't even want to be around them because it's that

0:24:21.119 --> 0:24:26.280
<v Speaker 1>energy is just resonating off. So we have with us

0:24:27.000 --> 0:24:30.840
<v Speaker 1>Dr Hillary gold Shure, Hillary, are you on the phone.

0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:35.720
<v Speaker 1>I am, Thank you so much for coming on so

0:24:36.280 --> 0:24:40.280
<v Speaker 1>uh Dr Hillary, you are a licensed clinical psychologist with

0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:42.879
<v Speaker 1>a private practice in Beverly Hills. You specialize in treatment

0:24:42.920 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 1>of couples, relationships, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, eating disorders, you

0:24:49.080 --> 0:24:52.159
<v Speaker 1>name it. Um, where do we even start with somebody

0:24:52.200 --> 0:24:56.280
<v Speaker 1>that has anxiety? What's like the the first place you'll

0:24:56.320 --> 0:24:59.040
<v Speaker 1>look at their lives or the first area you're able

0:24:59.080 --> 0:25:05.400
<v Speaker 1>to help. Yeah, I mean, anxiety is a symptom that

0:25:06.280 --> 0:25:15.160
<v Speaker 1>typically comes from pushing away painful, difficult, stressful thoughts and emotion.

0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:18.800
<v Speaker 1>So it usually shows up as a symptom. So I

0:25:18.960 --> 0:25:22.119
<v Speaker 1>always want to know what things are going on in

0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:27.240
<v Speaker 1>their lives outside of the anxiety symptoms. What's happening professionally,

0:25:27.320 --> 0:25:32.560
<v Speaker 1>personally in the relationships, issues that they've had in the past, etcetera,

0:25:32.640 --> 0:25:37.320
<v Speaker 1>that are contributing to their tendency to like avoid painful

0:25:37.359 --> 0:25:40.000
<v Speaker 1>thoughts and feelings because they usually show up a symptoms

0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:43.520
<v Speaker 1>of anxiety. MM. So if somebody let me impact that

0:25:43.520 --> 0:25:46.160
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. So if somebody, let's say, somebody goes

0:25:46.280 --> 0:25:50.720
<v Speaker 1>to even eating, eating can be a very unhealthy thing

0:25:51.080 --> 0:25:54.800
<v Speaker 1>they actually won't have an eating problem. They will have

0:25:55.000 --> 0:25:57.440
<v Speaker 1>some sort of anxiety or an issue or a trauma

0:25:57.560 --> 0:26:01.280
<v Speaker 1>somewhere else in their life that they becomes the result

0:26:01.480 --> 0:26:04.840
<v Speaker 1>of avoiding the pain of this other issue. Is that correct?

0:26:05.040 --> 0:26:07.600
<v Speaker 1>That's right. The eating becomes the symptom, that's right. So

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:11.480
<v Speaker 1>it probably is also true that they then have manifested

0:26:11.520 --> 0:26:13.960
<v Speaker 1>in eating problem, if you will. So it's not that

0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:17.640
<v Speaker 1>it can't be true that the eating issues are invasive

0:26:17.680 --> 0:26:20.320
<v Speaker 1>in their life as well. But in order to get

0:26:20.320 --> 0:26:22.640
<v Speaker 1>to kind of the origin of it, yes, almost always,

0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:27.080
<v Speaker 1>really without exception, there's something else going on, and the

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:30.440
<v Speaker 1>eating or the drinking or the overworking or whatever the

0:26:30.560 --> 0:26:35.159
<v Speaker 1>symptom is is a mechanism of escaped. So how do

0:26:35.240 --> 0:26:38.199
<v Speaker 1>we encourage somebody. My dad when I was, when I

0:26:38.240 --> 0:26:41.119
<v Speaker 1>was a child, and just even still as in my

0:26:41.200 --> 0:26:44.960
<v Speaker 1>life now, my dad, hillary Um always encouraged this. He said,

0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:49.760
<v Speaker 1>run towards the fire. And my dad was a principal,

0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:52.160
<v Speaker 1>and he said every day when he got to school,

0:26:52.280 --> 0:26:54.639
<v Speaker 1>the first thing, the first three things he did in

0:26:54.680 --> 0:26:57.639
<v Speaker 1>the morning were the three things he least wanted to

0:26:57.680 --> 0:27:00.080
<v Speaker 1>do in the course of his day. And so he

0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:02.399
<v Speaker 1>he built this monster to run towards the fire, and

0:27:02.440 --> 0:27:04.320
<v Speaker 1>he goes, after I did those three things, Brooks, I

0:27:04.320 --> 0:27:06.160
<v Speaker 1>could get on with the rest of my day, and

0:27:06.160 --> 0:27:09.520
<v Speaker 1>and I wasn't left worrying about Oh at the end

0:27:09.560 --> 0:27:11.440
<v Speaker 1>of the day, I now have to conquer the three

0:27:11.440 --> 0:27:14.919
<v Speaker 1>biggest beasts of my day. So he instilled that in

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:18.320
<v Speaker 1>myself and my brother and my sister, run towards the fire.

0:27:18.359 --> 0:27:20.480
<v Speaker 1>And it's been a phrase that I've leaned on a

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:22.840
<v Speaker 1>lot in the course of my life. Um, But for

0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.920
<v Speaker 1>our listeners who are maybe scared of that or haven't

0:27:25.960 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 1>been trained or taught that, how what are the first

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:31.720
<v Speaker 1>steps we can encourage somebody to move towards a trauma

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 1>or an issue or a problem, because that's not a

0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:36.040
<v Speaker 1>fun thing to do. Nobody will really wants to do that.

0:27:37.640 --> 0:27:40.400
<v Speaker 1>I love that that's such that that is such good

0:27:40.440 --> 0:27:43.640
<v Speaker 1>psychological advice. It's such a good way of taking care

0:27:43.800 --> 0:27:46.440
<v Speaker 1>of like your brain and your heart is to kind

0:27:46.480 --> 0:27:49.880
<v Speaker 1>of run towards what's hard, and you know, the way

0:27:49.880 --> 0:27:51.320
<v Speaker 1>to kind of break that down in the way that

0:27:51.400 --> 0:27:53.760
<v Speaker 1>might feel more digestible for listeners who are just kind

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:58.400
<v Speaker 1>of consemplating this possibility is like finding a safe place,

0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:03.320
<v Speaker 1>a safe way to think about feelings, to think about issues,

0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:06.439
<v Speaker 1>to think about inner conflicts, to think about things in

0:28:06.480 --> 0:28:09.399
<v Speaker 1>their lives that aren't working. And so a safe place

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:13.480
<v Speaker 1>might be therapy, a safe place might be a trusted friend.

0:28:13.560 --> 0:28:16.520
<v Speaker 1>A safe place might be meditating. A safe place might

0:28:16.560 --> 0:28:22.000
<v Speaker 1>be journaling, you know, finding an outlet that feels possible

0:28:22.119 --> 0:28:24.719
<v Speaker 1>to let some of those kind of scary, difficult thoughts

0:28:24.760 --> 0:28:27.960
<v Speaker 1>come up, because when they stay kind of stuffed down

0:28:28.040 --> 0:28:31.520
<v Speaker 1>inside of us, they always create symptoms. And even though

0:28:31.520 --> 0:28:33.879
<v Speaker 1>it's scary to kind of look at that stuff closed

0:28:33.960 --> 0:28:36.960
<v Speaker 1>up and feel the pain and the fear and the

0:28:37.000 --> 0:28:40.520
<v Speaker 1>hopelessness or whatever comes with it, it is always the

0:28:40.600 --> 0:28:44.120
<v Speaker 1>first step towards healing. It's always the first step towards

0:28:44.120 --> 0:28:48.480
<v Speaker 1>sort of lifting the haze of anxiety. That's sort of

0:28:48.480 --> 0:28:51.120
<v Speaker 1>what this show is. That's why we started this gaye

0:28:51.480 --> 0:28:54.400
<v Speaker 1>for us, uh Dr Hilary. We wanted to do. I'm

0:28:54.400 --> 0:28:58.640
<v Speaker 1>not good naturally at talking about my emotions or my

0:28:58.720 --> 0:29:03.440
<v Speaker 1>feelings or vulnerable disagree. I was not though, That's why

0:29:03.680 --> 0:29:07.880
<v Speaker 1>this this podcast for me. It keeps me honest, and

0:29:07.920 --> 0:29:12.400
<v Speaker 1>it keeps me It's it's training to to use a

0:29:12.480 --> 0:29:16.160
<v Speaker 1>muscle that's not natural for me. So in doing this podcast,

0:29:16.240 --> 0:29:20.680
<v Speaker 1>I've got better at sharing vulnerabilities and insecurities and hopes

0:29:20.720 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 1>that it encourages other men to do that um or

0:29:24.920 --> 0:29:29.720
<v Speaker 1>other other women too. UM. But how do we trying

0:29:29.720 --> 0:29:31.600
<v Speaker 1>to think where to go with this is, how do

0:29:31.680 --> 0:29:35.880
<v Speaker 1>we encourage other people to accept that discomfort, because even

0:29:35.920 --> 0:29:37.880
<v Speaker 1>for me, it's hard, Like for on on the show

0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:40.000
<v Speaker 1>here Gap, we challenge each other all the time. We

0:29:40.040 --> 0:29:42.280
<v Speaker 1>need to open up more, we need to be more vulnerable,

0:29:42.280 --> 0:29:47.080
<v Speaker 1>We need to like say more truths, hoping that uncovering

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:50.120
<v Speaker 1>these will help people out there that are really struggling.

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:53.160
<v Speaker 1>But it's damn hard to move that way. It's but

0:29:53.240 --> 0:29:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I think, and I think part of the reason it

0:29:55.680 --> 0:29:57.920
<v Speaker 1>is tough is because everybody is so afraid to say

0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:01.160
<v Speaker 1>the wrong thing in an effort to express themselves. That

0:30:01.240 --> 0:30:03.440
<v Speaker 1>people just keep their mouth shut about a lot of things.

0:30:04.040 --> 0:30:07.120
<v Speaker 1>And so, you know, we're not all politicians. Sometimes you're

0:30:07.120 --> 0:30:10.440
<v Speaker 1>just speaking off the cuff and something may be misinterpreted

0:30:10.440 --> 0:30:12.680
<v Speaker 1>as a quote unquote wrong thing to say, but you're

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:15.480
<v Speaker 1>just you talking through how you feel at the moment.

0:30:15.520 --> 0:30:18.440
<v Speaker 1>You haven't quite formulated how to express it yet. And

0:30:18.480 --> 0:30:21.240
<v Speaker 1>I think that's also a part of why people have

0:30:21.280 --> 0:30:25.200
<v Speaker 1>a hard time beginning the process of discussing certain things

0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:27.120
<v Speaker 1>that are difficult for them is because they're afraid to

0:30:27.120 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 1>say the wrong thing in the process of trying to

0:30:29.400 --> 0:30:30.920
<v Speaker 1>figure out how to say what it is it's on

0:30:30.960 --> 0:30:34.720
<v Speaker 1>their mind. Yeah, I think, I think you're so right.

0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:39.080
<v Speaker 1>There's just that vulnerability to be seen as weak, or

0:30:39.200 --> 0:30:43.280
<v Speaker 1>to say something that someone feels offended by, or to

0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:47.440
<v Speaker 1>say something that is politically incorrect, whether it's sort of

0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:49.560
<v Speaker 1>in a macro sensor, just in a micro sense, that

0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:54.440
<v Speaker 1>context of your life. Yeah, we all understand that. Yeah, right, Ye,

0:30:54.560 --> 0:30:57.600
<v Speaker 1>all of those gears exist. But you know, I think

0:30:57.880 --> 0:31:00.960
<v Speaker 1>perhaps for your listeners, the idea, uh and it sounds

0:31:00.960 --> 0:31:02.920
<v Speaker 1>so cliche, but it's really true. And I love how

0:31:02.960 --> 0:31:05.480
<v Speaker 1>you guys are talking about this, the idea that they're

0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:10.080
<v Speaker 1>really not alone, that everybody, men and women alike, experience

0:31:10.160 --> 0:31:13.920
<v Speaker 1>that fear of being vulnerable, vulnerable, experience, that fear of

0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 1>exposing parts of themselves that feel you know, unfinished, not

0:31:18.360 --> 0:31:22.120
<v Speaker 1>short up, afraid, and the idea that like, we're all

0:31:22.760 --> 0:31:25.000
<v Speaker 1>human and all are in this together and all have

0:31:25.120 --> 0:31:28.880
<v Speaker 1>similar experiences, and you know, it's just having this conversation

0:31:28.920 --> 0:31:33.000
<v Speaker 1>with the client recently that for men and women alike,

0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:36.440
<v Speaker 1>there there's there's a strange ability for you know, kind

0:31:36.440 --> 0:31:38.800
<v Speaker 1>of the mind and body to not have great muscle

0:31:38.880 --> 0:31:42.160
<v Speaker 1>memory around this stuff, meaning that most people will report

0:31:42.280 --> 0:31:45.360
<v Speaker 1>when they are open and vulnerable that later they feel

0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:48.040
<v Speaker 1>pretty good about it, but the next time they go

0:31:48.160 --> 0:31:51.520
<v Speaker 1>to do it, they're just as scared. It's hard, and

0:31:52.560 --> 0:31:56.280
<v Speaker 1>it's always hard. And maybe if your listeners sort of

0:31:56.320 --> 0:31:59.480
<v Speaker 1>know that, like every one of us men, women, therapists,

0:32:00.000 --> 0:32:02.400
<v Speaker 1>you guys are like, you know, when you're struggling with

0:32:02.480 --> 0:32:04.520
<v Speaker 1>something and you go to be vulnerable, that it's hard

0:32:05.000 --> 0:32:09.120
<v Speaker 1>each time. It's like the human experience, the sorry, but

0:32:09.240 --> 0:32:12.520
<v Speaker 1>the no, go ahead and go ahead. I think it's

0:32:12.960 --> 0:32:18.960
<v Speaker 1>served that weird dichotomy between being brave enough to be

0:32:19.120 --> 0:32:22.360
<v Speaker 1>vulnerable and how you know that. It's sort of this

0:32:22.920 --> 0:32:26.520
<v Speaker 1>interesting fine line between the two things, but they are interrelated.

0:32:28.600 --> 0:32:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I often say to my patients, you aren't brave unless

0:32:33.120 --> 0:32:35.760
<v Speaker 1>you're afraid. Do you know what I mean? That's that's

0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:39.280
<v Speaker 1>brave or courageous unless it's hard, That's right, It's yeah.

0:32:39.320 --> 0:32:41.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel that way. Honestly. When we do this show,

0:32:41.640 --> 0:32:44.440
<v Speaker 1>we walk in the studio and every day when I

0:32:44.440 --> 0:32:48.480
<v Speaker 1>walk in. I'm I'm honestly scared. I'm I'm we're going

0:32:48.560 --> 0:32:51.680
<v Speaker 1>to talk about something. There's something in me that I'm like, Oh,

0:32:51.680 --> 0:32:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to talk about that, but I make YouTube, GAV.

0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:57.120
<v Speaker 1>We make a conscious decision when we enter this studio

0:32:57.560 --> 0:33:00.040
<v Speaker 1>that we are going to do the hard work. It

0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:02.400
<v Speaker 1>was our pledge in our very first podcast. We're gonna

0:33:02.440 --> 0:33:04.800
<v Speaker 1>be open and genuine and raw and try and do

0:33:04.920 --> 0:33:09.200
<v Speaker 1>hard work on ourselves, hoping, just hoping that somebody out

0:33:09.240 --> 0:33:12.800
<v Speaker 1>there listening might be inspired by that or see that

0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:15.880
<v Speaker 1>it's okay to feel that way, or resonates with it,

0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:19.320
<v Speaker 1>or knows that they're not the only one feeling that way. Um,

0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:22.320
<v Speaker 1>and for anybody listening, it does actually get easier. So

0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:24.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what this is podcast thirty or what

0:33:24.320 --> 0:33:26.840
<v Speaker 1>it is, but the first few were like, WHOA, this

0:33:26.920 --> 0:33:29.920
<v Speaker 1>is tough to open up, and but now it's starting

0:33:29.960 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 1>to come in and the conversations are more free flowing.

0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:34.880
<v Speaker 1>And as you said, Dr Hillary, it's amazing when you

0:33:34.960 --> 0:33:38.240
<v Speaker 1>express like a a trauma or an insecurity or a

0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:41.560
<v Speaker 1>feeling of concern and you openly express it and it's

0:33:41.600 --> 0:33:44.240
<v Speaker 1>received with no judgment. Quite often, I think we think

0:33:44.280 --> 0:33:46.600
<v Speaker 1>we're going to be judged when we we say something

0:33:46.640 --> 0:33:48.920
<v Speaker 1>like that, but actually the people around us are just

0:33:48.960 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 1>gonna shower us with love and affection and line up

0:33:53.000 --> 0:33:54.880
<v Speaker 1>to help. That's the other thing. We've seen such a

0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:57.560
<v Speaker 1>response from our our listeners, and any time in my

0:33:57.640 --> 0:33:59.720
<v Speaker 1>life when I've reached out to a friend or family

0:33:59.760 --> 0:34:04.560
<v Speaker 1>member or something, they drop everything in line up to help. Yeah. Well,

0:34:04.600 --> 0:34:06.800
<v Speaker 1>I think there's also you know, I think there's there's

0:34:07.800 --> 0:34:11.319
<v Speaker 1>there's sort of there's a group intelligence, and there's also

0:34:11.400 --> 0:34:14.279
<v Speaker 1>a group there's certain like a group I Q, but

0:34:14.320 --> 0:34:16.399
<v Speaker 1>there's also a group EQ, you know what I mean.

0:34:16.480 --> 0:34:18.960
<v Speaker 1>And I think that that that's an element to it

0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 1>as well, where you put it out there and people

0:34:21.719 --> 0:34:25.440
<v Speaker 1>begin to say, okay. All it does is we have

0:34:25.520 --> 0:34:28.239
<v Speaker 1>to realize also from where we are our platform is

0:34:28.280 --> 0:34:31.399
<v Speaker 1>that when we talk about what we're going through, it's

0:34:31.400 --> 0:34:34.719
<v Speaker 1>simply human humanizes us and it allows other people to

0:34:34.760 --> 0:34:37.640
<v Speaker 1>sort of express themselves too. And so that's the beauty

0:34:37.640 --> 0:34:40.279
<v Speaker 1>of the format, you know, to discuss things that are

0:34:40.320 --> 0:34:44.560
<v Speaker 1>on our mind. There is that amazing phenomenon. We're almost

0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:47.640
<v Speaker 1>always when we are vulnerable and open up. You're right,

0:34:47.760 --> 0:34:51.000
<v Speaker 1>people people come towards us, not move away. And I

0:34:51.000 --> 0:34:53.319
<v Speaker 1>think part of that is that people are inherently good,

0:34:53.320 --> 0:34:55.960
<v Speaker 1>But part of that is because it touches within ourselves.

0:34:56.320 --> 0:34:59.320
<v Speaker 1>We recognize each other. I feel that too. I'm afraid

0:34:59.360 --> 0:35:04.480
<v Speaker 1>to I'm vunerable too, and you're so bullied that someone

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:07.759
<v Speaker 1>else and showing that part of themselves that people, I

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:12.239
<v Speaker 1>think UM are are mobilized by it. It's really powerful.

0:35:12.680 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 1>I have a question for you, Dr hilary Um. What

0:35:15.760 --> 0:35:19.760
<v Speaker 1>area of most people's lives gives them the most anxiety.

0:35:22.840 --> 0:35:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Would it be relationship, would it be career, would it

0:35:25.520 --> 0:35:28.359
<v Speaker 1>be finances? What? In your practice? What do you see

0:35:28.560 --> 0:35:31.160
<v Speaker 1>most common that people struggle with it gives them the

0:35:31.320 --> 0:35:38.520
<v Speaker 1>most anxiety. I would say that the deepest, most soulcial anxiety,

0:35:38.600 --> 0:35:43.000
<v Speaker 1>if you will, usually is around relationships. Is around one's

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:50.440
<v Speaker 1>you know, most primitive relationship, typically the romantic relationship. Sometimes

0:35:50.440 --> 0:35:54.920
<v Speaker 1>other relationships are the most formative, depending on one's life circumstances.

0:35:55.000 --> 0:35:57.520
<v Speaker 1>But I would say those are the ones that tend

0:35:57.560 --> 0:36:00.799
<v Speaker 1>to those type of anxiety. These are the ones that

0:36:00.840 --> 0:36:04.799
<v Speaker 1>tend to break freely, even um the most sturdy of

0:36:04.880 --> 0:36:08.080
<v Speaker 1>coping mechanisms right in it, of course, I see a

0:36:08.120 --> 0:36:11.359
<v Speaker 1>lot of anxiety around and professional staff and finances and

0:36:11.400 --> 0:36:13.359
<v Speaker 1>all of that. But I think it's for me. It's

0:36:13.400 --> 0:36:16.719
<v Speaker 1>people's core, this relationship stuff and all the vulnerability that

0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:19.560
<v Speaker 1>comes up and things that it pulls up from our past,

0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:23.320
<v Speaker 1>pains from our past, and business from our past. That

0:36:23.640 --> 0:36:27.480
<v Speaker 1>was my next question is what specifically within a relationship

0:36:27.880 --> 0:36:32.360
<v Speaker 1>gives the most anxiety. Is it insecurities? Is it fears?

0:36:32.719 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Um like but you said things from our past? Is

0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:39.479
<v Speaker 1>that things about us that we're not proud of, things

0:36:39.480 --> 0:36:42.920
<v Speaker 1>we've done, things that were shameful of. You know what

0:36:43.040 --> 0:36:45.960
<v Speaker 1>I often see. I mean, certainly it is in that

0:36:46.000 --> 0:36:49.280
<v Speaker 1>subset what you just mentioned, certainly, But what I most

0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:53.480
<v Speaker 1>often see is some version as you were just talking

0:36:53.560 --> 0:36:57.520
<v Speaker 1>about about insecurities, fears of abandoned, the fears of vulnerability,

0:36:58.200 --> 0:37:01.520
<v Speaker 1>that instead of showing up that way, show up in

0:37:01.560 --> 0:37:07.799
<v Speaker 1>another way like anger or shutting down, or infidelity or

0:37:08.520 --> 0:37:11.799
<v Speaker 1>overworking or drinking. Right, you know, things that that negatively

0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:15.319
<v Speaker 1>impact the relationship are invasive to the connection of the relationship,

0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:20.439
<v Speaker 1>And oftentimes though is But oftentimes, if you dig in

0:37:20.520 --> 0:37:24.240
<v Speaker 1>with the client and relate it back to their early

0:37:24.400 --> 0:37:28.120
<v Speaker 1>childhood years, their dynamics in their family of origin. You

0:37:28.239 --> 0:37:31.600
<v Speaker 1>find pains and wounds and hurts that never really got

0:37:31.600 --> 0:37:36.400
<v Speaker 1>resolved that can get projected onto the current relationship. So if, um,

0:37:36.440 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 1>if somebody felt like, oh, their their mother never really

0:37:39.719 --> 0:37:43.160
<v Speaker 1>saw them fully as a person, was you know, felt

0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:46.960
<v Speaker 1>sort of abandoning emotionally, that that person can be overly

0:37:47.040 --> 0:37:50.720
<v Speaker 1>sensitive to their partner checking out or not attending to them,

0:37:51.080 --> 0:37:53.720
<v Speaker 1>for example. So oftentimes we're able to link those things

0:37:53.800 --> 0:37:57.400
<v Speaker 1>and and make some pretty powerful progress as a result.

0:37:58.360 --> 0:38:02.440
<v Speaker 1>It's that that's fascinating to me because that's like a puzzle, right,

0:38:02.520 --> 0:38:04.880
<v Speaker 1>that's like a like a it's a deep dive of

0:38:04.920 --> 0:38:08.960
<v Speaker 1>a journey. Seeing this from twelve years ago affects this

0:38:09.040 --> 0:38:11.520
<v Speaker 1>decision making process today. And we all have it. We

0:38:11.560 --> 0:38:13.960
<v Speaker 1>all carry their past with us and it shows up

0:38:13.960 --> 0:38:17.360
<v Speaker 1>in our present. And and unless we actually do some

0:38:17.520 --> 0:38:20.799
<v Speaker 1>of this reflective work and you said it's journaling, you

0:38:20.840 --> 0:38:23.439
<v Speaker 1>said it could be talking to a therapist. Uh, these

0:38:23.480 --> 0:38:28.320
<v Speaker 1>different practices reading, Um, we're going to carry this behavior

0:38:28.480 --> 0:38:31.799
<v Speaker 1>with us in the future. And I also believe that

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:35.880
<v Speaker 1>a behavior doesn't define a person. So if we acted

0:38:35.920 --> 0:38:39.879
<v Speaker 1>a certain way or act a certain way, that's a behavior,

0:38:40.280 --> 0:38:44.719
<v Speaker 1>but that doesn't mean, that's necessarily who we are, so

0:38:44.840 --> 0:38:46.640
<v Speaker 1>I can I can do something gave to you that

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:50.319
<v Speaker 1>upsets you, and you might still love me as a dude,

0:38:50.320 --> 0:38:52.640
<v Speaker 1>but you're like, I don't like that behavior. That what

0:38:52.800 --> 0:38:55.120
<v Speaker 1>you just did there, you know what I mean. So

0:38:55.280 --> 0:38:58.160
<v Speaker 1>for people listening, I don't want them to be defined

0:38:58.239 --> 0:39:00.359
<v Speaker 1>by their past. I don't want their future. Sure if

0:39:00.360 --> 0:39:02.520
<v Speaker 1>they if they have a traumatic past or things that

0:39:02.560 --> 0:39:05.960
<v Speaker 1>they're insecure about, our fears or something, I don't want

0:39:06.000 --> 0:39:08.600
<v Speaker 1>them to carry that into the president or into the future.

0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:11.200
<v Speaker 1>But I do want them to, as my dad used

0:39:11.200 --> 0:39:14.600
<v Speaker 1>to say, run towards the fire, discover what that is,

0:39:14.800 --> 0:39:17.880
<v Speaker 1>lean into that and really own it, wear it and

0:39:17.920 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 1>say that was a part of me. But I can

0:39:19.840 --> 0:39:24.360
<v Speaker 1>today change the path of my future. I haven't mentioned

0:39:24.360 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 1>it yet, but I love hearing you quote your dad

0:39:27.640 --> 0:39:30.520
<v Speaker 1>because my dad always used to say something almost identical,

0:39:31.040 --> 0:39:36.480
<v Speaker 1>because I'd say, run to the lion. Oh yeah, he'd

0:39:36.480 --> 0:39:38.839
<v Speaker 1>always run to the line, run towards the line, same

0:39:38.880 --> 0:39:42.239
<v Speaker 1>exact kind of thing, you know it was about. You know,

0:39:42.760 --> 0:39:46.480
<v Speaker 1>he'd say, don't waste your calories trying to get away

0:39:46.480 --> 0:39:50.560
<v Speaker 1>from the problem. Go to the problem. Don't exhaust yourself

0:39:50.640 --> 0:39:54.760
<v Speaker 1>trying to get away from it. Go fix it, whatever

0:39:54.800 --> 0:39:56.600
<v Speaker 1>it is, go at it, you know what I mean.

0:39:57.480 --> 0:40:02.319
<v Speaker 1>And U said to about the you know, there's such

0:40:02.320 --> 0:40:04.600
<v Speaker 1>a beacon of hope in the notion that we are

0:40:04.640 --> 0:40:08.320
<v Speaker 1>not our behavior. And for your listeners, beautiful who are

0:40:08.400 --> 0:40:12.400
<v Speaker 1>considering all of this and feel shame or whatever the

0:40:12.480 --> 0:40:14.359
<v Speaker 1>right word is about some of their behavior, how they

0:40:14.400 --> 0:40:17.400
<v Speaker 1>move through the world or through relationships, you know, really

0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:20.560
<v Speaker 1>clinging onto that notion that you are not your havior.

0:40:20.640 --> 0:40:22.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, some of those behaviors may come from these

0:40:22.719 --> 0:40:26.440
<v Speaker 1>wounds that we're talking about, and there's there's a chance

0:40:26.520 --> 0:40:28.759
<v Speaker 1>to shift that. There's a chance to change that, to

0:40:28.880 --> 0:40:32.320
<v Speaker 1>understand it and make different choices in our future. So

0:40:32.440 --> 0:40:34.960
<v Speaker 1>not feeling like we're stuck in some narrative that we've

0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:39.640
<v Speaker 1>internalized about ourselves can be a really you know, hopeful

0:40:39.840 --> 0:40:43.120
<v Speaker 1>notion when someone just feel stuck in anxiety or stuck

0:40:43.120 --> 0:40:46.360
<v Speaker 1>in behaviors, are stuck in a way of being. Yeah,

0:40:46.360 --> 0:40:48.080
<v Speaker 1>And I think I think the self talk you just

0:40:48.120 --> 0:40:50.920
<v Speaker 1>touched on it, like the way we talk to ourselves,

0:40:50.960 --> 0:40:54.560
<v Speaker 1>the way we treat ourselves is as important in that

0:40:54.719 --> 0:40:56.920
<v Speaker 1>or more important than the way anybody is going to

0:40:57.000 --> 0:41:00.279
<v Speaker 1>treat us. Um. And just while we're on this, one

0:41:00.280 --> 0:41:03.680
<v Speaker 1>of my best buddies, UH put this on his instagram yesterday.

0:41:03.760 --> 0:41:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Mike Green put this on his instagram. I am not

0:41:06.280 --> 0:41:09.120
<v Speaker 1>what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.

0:41:09.480 --> 0:41:12.239
<v Speaker 1>It's a quote by Carl J. Young. UM, And I

0:41:12.280 --> 0:41:14.040
<v Speaker 1>saw that, I was like, I love this man, I

0:41:14.080 --> 0:41:18.160
<v Speaker 1>absolutely love it. Um. So it's it sounds so easy that.

0:41:18.280 --> 0:41:20.240
<v Speaker 1>But you said your dad said run toward the lion.

0:41:20.360 --> 0:41:23.520
<v Speaker 1>I say, my dad said run toward the fire. But UM,

0:41:23.560 --> 0:41:26.120
<v Speaker 1>any other tips or tricks? Dr Hillary on how we

0:41:26.160 --> 0:41:30.760
<v Speaker 1>can encourage somebody to move toward the issues or problems

0:41:30.840 --> 0:41:35.760
<v Speaker 1>or traumatic areas in their life in order to understand it. UM,

0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:38.840
<v Speaker 1>come to terms with it accepted. I believe acceptance is

0:41:38.920 --> 0:41:42.360
<v Speaker 1>part of it, moving on, accepting your your mistakes, accepting

0:41:42.360 --> 0:41:45.400
<v Speaker 1>your behaviors. Accepting that is part of being able to

0:41:45.440 --> 0:41:47.600
<v Speaker 1>move on and let go. But do you have any

0:41:48.120 --> 0:41:50.200
<v Speaker 1>before we let you go? Any more tips and tricks

0:41:50.239 --> 0:41:53.600
<v Speaker 1>to give our listeners. I let's just say this, I mean,

0:41:54.120 --> 0:41:57.480
<v Speaker 1>just kind of really taking in that it is. It

0:41:57.600 --> 0:42:00.279
<v Speaker 1>is an active choice because if we kin kind of

0:42:00.920 --> 0:42:04.240
<v Speaker 1>wait for it to happen to us, you know, moving

0:42:04.280 --> 0:42:08.560
<v Speaker 1>towards the fire to use your dad's ideas. We usually

0:42:08.760 --> 0:42:11.240
<v Speaker 1>can't get out of our own way. We keep repeating

0:42:11.600 --> 0:42:13.880
<v Speaker 1>the patterns that we're used to, right, so if we

0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:16.680
<v Speaker 1>kind of have a passive approach it, it's hard to

0:42:16.719 --> 0:42:20.320
<v Speaker 1>make a shift. So it can feel a bit overwhelming.

0:42:20.360 --> 0:42:23.719
<v Speaker 1>But the idea of like just one active thing, one thing,

0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:27.160
<v Speaker 1>one little thing that's different, and picking from any of

0:42:27.200 --> 0:42:29.600
<v Speaker 1>the things that I talked about before, you know, opening

0:42:29.719 --> 0:42:32.160
<v Speaker 1>up to your partner, opening up to a friend in

0:42:32.160 --> 0:42:36.040
<v Speaker 1>a way that you typically don't, making an appointment with

0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:40.359
<v Speaker 1>a therapist, you know, journaling, even sitting down and meditating

0:42:40.800 --> 0:42:44.520
<v Speaker 1>for two minutes and focusing on your breathing. Just interrupting

0:42:45.000 --> 0:42:49.560
<v Speaker 1>your way of being with some consciousness and mindfulness and

0:42:50.040 --> 0:42:54.239
<v Speaker 1>exploration of emotions if possible, in just the smallest way,

0:42:54.320 --> 0:42:57.279
<v Speaker 1>can begin to open the door. So I think it's

0:42:57.320 --> 0:43:00.000
<v Speaker 1>it's like a twofold message. Yes you have to be active,

0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:02.640
<v Speaker 1>but it can also be really small. You can do

0:43:02.719 --> 0:43:05.920
<v Speaker 1>in these tiny little whispers, these tiny little increments, and

0:43:05.960 --> 0:43:08.160
<v Speaker 1>start to build that muscle for it instead of doing

0:43:08.200 --> 0:43:10.960
<v Speaker 1>like it has to be um you know, very dramatic

0:43:11.040 --> 0:43:13.880
<v Speaker 1>shift from one moment to another to make anything. I

0:43:13.920 --> 0:43:16.239
<v Speaker 1>love that. Also, as I was listening to you talk there,

0:43:16.239 --> 0:43:20.880
<v Speaker 1>I was just thinking about, Um, I'm thinking really about

0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:23.200
<v Speaker 1>a listener out there who's listening to this and has

0:43:23.360 --> 0:43:26.080
<v Speaker 1>something that they want to bring up, whether to a

0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:29.280
<v Speaker 1>romantic partner, to a friend, to a family member, whatever,

0:43:29.320 --> 0:43:32.440
<v Speaker 1>they have something that they want to bring up. Doing

0:43:32.520 --> 0:43:35.279
<v Speaker 1>so to a person in your life is actually going

0:43:35.320 --> 0:43:39.200
<v Speaker 1>to be an amazing filter for the people in your life.

0:43:39.520 --> 0:43:42.960
<v Speaker 1>So if I have something that's vulnerable, insecure, something that

0:43:43.040 --> 0:43:45.200
<v Speaker 1>I need, whatever it is that I need to bring

0:43:45.320 --> 0:43:49.240
<v Speaker 1>up to say it's to Gav and he completely rejects

0:43:49.239 --> 0:43:50.719
<v Speaker 1>it or makes fun of it or shuts it down,

0:43:50.960 --> 0:43:54.479
<v Speaker 1>that to me is a great filter on what kind

0:43:54.520 --> 0:43:57.680
<v Speaker 1>of person this is. Or if he leans in and says,

0:43:57.719 --> 0:44:00.160
<v Speaker 1>tell me more, how can I help, Like I'm here

0:44:00.160 --> 0:44:02.279
<v Speaker 1>for you. I actually struggle with that as well, Like

0:44:02.680 --> 0:44:06.319
<v Speaker 1>I'm here whatever you need. Like that is an amazing

0:44:06.400 --> 0:44:08.319
<v Speaker 1>filter for the quality of people in your life. So

0:44:08.360 --> 0:44:11.720
<v Speaker 1>I do want to encourage people to have that courage

0:44:11.760 --> 0:44:15.320
<v Speaker 1>to open up, to lead the discussion, to step forward

0:44:15.320 --> 0:44:17.280
<v Speaker 1>and say I want to talk to you. I actually

0:44:17.320 --> 0:44:20.960
<v Speaker 1>have something that I'm really that's really giving me anxiety

0:44:20.960 --> 0:44:23.240
<v Speaker 1>and issues, and I don't want it to be a

0:44:23.239 --> 0:44:26.279
<v Speaker 1>an issue in my life anymore. Can I talk to

0:44:26.280 --> 0:44:28.759
<v Speaker 1>about this with you? Can? I trust you? And the

0:44:28.880 --> 0:44:31.520
<v Speaker 1>response from that person you'll find out pretty soon, I

0:44:31.520 --> 0:44:33.799
<v Speaker 1>mean what what the quality of that person is. Absolutely,

0:44:34.400 --> 0:44:36.120
<v Speaker 1>try to give you a lot of information about the

0:44:36.120 --> 0:44:38.760
<v Speaker 1>people in your life. From that standpoint, maybe it feels

0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:41.640
<v Speaker 1>less risky because you may find out, Wow, this person

0:44:41.760 --> 0:44:44.080
<v Speaker 1>is available to me in a way that I didn't

0:44:44.120 --> 0:44:47.759
<v Speaker 1>know or or didn't fully accept or embrace. And and

0:44:47.800 --> 0:44:50.520
<v Speaker 1>maybe you find out like, Okay, this kind of stuff

0:44:50.560 --> 0:44:53.120
<v Speaker 1>isn't totally safe with this person, right. I have a

0:44:53.160 --> 0:44:59.480
<v Speaker 1>clinical uh term, it's called that person sucks. That's what

0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:05.160
<v Speaker 1>we call it. Um Dr Hilary, Where can people find you?

0:45:05.239 --> 0:45:07.239
<v Speaker 1>I love your mission? I just absolutely love it. I'd

0:45:07.280 --> 0:45:08.680
<v Speaker 1>love to have you come in studio one day and

0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:11.440
<v Speaker 1>talk to us because, UM, I have people in my

0:45:11.480 --> 0:45:14.799
<v Speaker 1>family who go through and close friends who go through depression,

0:45:15.160 --> 0:45:19.080
<v Speaker 1>UM anxiety, people that are dealing with trauma and grief.

0:45:19.160 --> 0:45:21.360
<v Speaker 1>We all are at some degree of time and it

0:45:21.400 --> 0:45:23.839
<v Speaker 1>comes in ebbs and flows and cycles, and sometimes things

0:45:23.840 --> 0:45:26.840
<v Speaker 1>come up. I'm actually dealing with working through hockey, working

0:45:26.880 --> 0:45:29.319
<v Speaker 1>through retiring from hockey. It's something that I want to

0:45:29.360 --> 0:45:33.280
<v Speaker 1>do in and I'm unpacking. I'm currently on a journey

0:45:33.360 --> 0:45:37.400
<v Speaker 1>unpacking the traumas and griefs and resentments and frustrations and

0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:40.160
<v Speaker 1>failures and all of this stuff that I'm carrying from

0:45:40.239 --> 0:45:43.560
<v Speaker 1>my career in a sport that I don't want to

0:45:43.640 --> 0:45:47.200
<v Speaker 1>carry with me anymore moving into my life. So um,

0:45:47.239 --> 0:45:49.879
<v Speaker 1>I would love to even personally, even just sit down

0:45:49.880 --> 0:45:51.719
<v Speaker 1>with you, but have you in studio, so many more

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:55.359
<v Speaker 1>people can benefit. But right now, before we do that,

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:58.719
<v Speaker 1>where could people find you that are listening right now? Yes, well,

0:45:58.800 --> 0:46:03.400
<v Speaker 1>you and you're listener can find me at Dr Hillary

0:46:03.440 --> 0:46:06.400
<v Speaker 1>fold Sure dot com and it's two L s h

0:46:06.440 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 1>I L l A R Y g O L D

0:46:09.880 --> 0:46:11.759
<v Speaker 1>s h e er dot com and we'll have these

0:46:11.760 --> 0:46:17.080
<v Speaker 1>in the show notes. Yeah, that's it. Thank you so much. Thanks,

0:46:17.640 --> 0:46:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to come in and talk more about yeah. Please, Yeah,

0:46:20.000 --> 0:46:22.160
<v Speaker 1>we'll have to make that happen for sure. Okay, thank you,

0:46:22.239 --> 0:46:24.920
<v Speaker 1>Dr Hillary, appreciate your time so much. Thank you very much.

0:46:24.960 --> 0:46:27.480
<v Speaker 1>You've you've been so helpful to myself and and to

0:46:27.480 --> 0:46:30.239
<v Speaker 1>our listeners and gav you never need to help your

0:46:30.280 --> 0:46:34.680
<v Speaker 1>perfect buddy. But You're perfect Brooks. Thank you, Dr Hillary.

0:46:34.719 --> 0:46:46.200
<v Speaker 1>We appreciate you. Thanks Doc, Buddy, we crushed out again.

0:46:46.280 --> 0:46:49.279
<v Speaker 1>I think it was out of the park. Man. We're

0:46:49.320 --> 0:46:53.040
<v Speaker 1>on a rocket ship here in absolutely one weekend we're killing.

0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:56.239
<v Speaker 1>One weekend we're taking. We are taking how men think

0:46:56.360 --> 0:46:59.360
<v Speaker 1>to be the best podcast on the air. That's what

0:46:59.440 --> 0:47:01.719
<v Speaker 1>we want. Our goal. We just want to serve as

0:47:01.719 --> 0:47:04.400
<v Speaker 1>many people as we can. That's that's really the mission

0:47:04.400 --> 0:47:08.040
<v Speaker 1>of it. So keep adding, keep adding value to people's lives.

0:47:08.280 --> 0:47:11.960
<v Speaker 1>They'll keep listening and they'll share it with their friends

0:47:11.960 --> 0:47:15.840
<v Speaker 1>as many friends as they have. Better you better. Um.

0:47:15.920 --> 0:47:18.440
<v Speaker 1>We have more topics that we didn't get to today.

0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:21.240
<v Speaker 1>We didn't have enough time to um. But there's marriage

0:47:21.280 --> 0:47:23.399
<v Speaker 1>and anxiety, there's career. These are all topics you guys

0:47:23.560 --> 0:47:26.680
<v Speaker 1>sent to us. Career finances, read a book, financial freedom,

0:47:26.719 --> 0:47:32.040
<v Speaker 1>self care, diet less, multitasking, patients, being present, increasing income,

0:47:32.080 --> 0:47:36.399
<v Speaker 1>communication with husband, so many more topics. So laundry list

0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:39.399
<v Speaker 1>that the only thing we didn't mention was laundry. Laundry. Yeah,

0:47:39.640 --> 0:47:43.480
<v Speaker 1>basically we need to work on our laundry. Um. You

0:47:43.520 --> 0:47:46.440
<v Speaker 1>probably just buy new clothes, you don't even launder them sometimes.

0:47:48.719 --> 0:47:51.080
<v Speaker 1>But these these were gonna keep this list. We're going

0:47:51.120 --> 0:47:54.040
<v Speaker 1>to dive into some of these topics in future episodes.

0:47:54.400 --> 0:47:56.560
<v Speaker 1>Um and as always, guys, we've always said this, this

0:47:56.600 --> 0:47:59.000
<v Speaker 1>podcast is a vessel here, a vessel of service to

0:47:59.040 --> 0:48:02.080
<v Speaker 1>serve you guys. So keep sending us your emails, your topics,

0:48:02.080 --> 0:48:05.319
<v Speaker 1>your thoughts, your questions men at i heeart radio dot

0:48:05.320 --> 0:48:09.720
<v Speaker 1>com and how Men Think podcast on Instagram, and Gavin

0:48:09.840 --> 0:48:13.799
<v Speaker 1>personally responds to all of them. It's just because, Um,

0:48:14.440 --> 0:48:17.320
<v Speaker 1>the typing thing is something I enjoyed doing so much

0:48:17.760 --> 0:48:20.000
<v Speaker 1>on the keyboard, you know how, like last week you

0:48:20.000 --> 0:48:22.000
<v Speaker 1>said the piano. Last week you said, like one of

0:48:22.000 --> 0:48:23.640
<v Speaker 1>the things you want to be best better at is

0:48:23.680 --> 0:48:28.160
<v Speaker 1>like finishing things you start, like emails, like emails, sponding email,

0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:31.680
<v Speaker 1>when people send messages to How Men think, You're gonna

0:48:31.760 --> 0:48:35.560
<v Speaker 1>answer them all. If you ever get something a reply

0:48:35.640 --> 0:48:39.040
<v Speaker 1>back that you don't like, it was Brooks, oh dang.

0:48:39.440 --> 0:48:44.200
<v Speaker 1>And if you do like it, it was you. Yes, yeah, buddy, buddy,

0:48:44.280 --> 0:48:47.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm excited we're rolling in. I love this. I love

0:48:47.719 --> 0:48:49.759
<v Speaker 1>I just love the turn of the calendar, the new year,

0:48:49.800 --> 0:48:52.920
<v Speaker 1>the new decade, and I love seeing your face every day.

0:48:54.000 --> 0:48:56.440
<v Speaker 1>That's it for this week. Man until next week. Everybody,

0:48:56.640 --> 0:48:59.040
<v Speaker 1>take care of one another, love one another, and we'll

0:48:59.040 --> 0:49:02.000
<v Speaker 1>see you back here for another episode of How Men Think. Goodbye,