1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 1: This is how men think with broths like and Gavin 2 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:08,159 Speaker 1: to grab and I heard radio podcast back with us 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: in studio again. He was such a stud On the 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: first episode, Mr Freddie Prince Jr. Amy told me to say, hey, 5 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 1: look good. Our listeners loved you. Man. I appreciate you guys, 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: I appreciate the love. Man. They loved you. Did your 7 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: wife how amazing you are and she agreed, Oh well, 8 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm glad I get to come home to I got. 9 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: I got a soft spot for for Canadians and a 10 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 1: soft spot for for musicians over the Canadian man is 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: a disciplined beast man like. I've done a lot of 12 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: movies up there. I met a lot of m m 13 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,839 Speaker 1: A fighters that are there different breeds than what we 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: have done here. I've always respected it, and the musician 15 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: life is the biggest struggle my My uncle's Paul Williams. 16 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: That's the president of ASCA. That's your union dog. He 17 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:02,959 Speaker 1: was my dad's best friend. Wrote the ray about connection. Yeah, 18 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: one of the I've always had a soft spot for musicians. 19 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 1: I know the hustle's real. And I love that you 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,959 Speaker 1: said you took three years writing songs in between albums 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: and that's such the sign of somebody who's staying true 22 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: to themselves, and I appreciate it As an artist. I 23 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: just respect that. Yeah, man, dude, you're so good, isn't 24 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: he is? That voice just coming through the He's got it. 25 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: He's got it. Got the voice. The voices sounds like 26 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: some dumb stoner surfer from l A. You have a 27 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: fantastic voice. Dude, You're book more videos. Say our names. 28 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: We want to hear our names, Brooks and Gavin. There 29 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: you go, so good? Should should we have him do 30 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: like a lead in for the show how menting with 31 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: Brooks and Gavin. That's right, don't forget to listen to 32 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: Freddie's podcast. Have him say hey, this is Did we 33 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: have him say his name before he say I'm guesting 34 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: today with such and such start the show. Maybe you 35 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 1: should read in the show like say hey, what's up 36 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 1: blah blah and I got yes, Like that would be cool. 37 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: That that would have been cool like five minutes ago. 38 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: For it's kind of cool. At the end of the show. 39 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 1: On today's episode, right at the end, never say money 40 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: friends Jr. Brooks and Gavin a great show and then 41 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: it's over. We're going to have some more fun today, buddy. 42 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: I always appreciate I appreciate you last week coming in 43 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: and thank you again for coming here for this show. 44 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 1: My pleasure man, I know Burbank well. Yeah, Friends, and 45 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,919 Speaker 1: the Wolf is our podcast comedian Josh Wolf. He's super funny. 46 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,720 Speaker 1: He's been in the game forever. And uh my YouTube 47 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: channel is called geg Head. It's Egghead with a G 48 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: and it's a bunch of comics, actors, musicians, and pro 49 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: wrestlers playing table top games. You guys want to have 50 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: some laughs or see that kind of stuff. It's there 51 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: to How do you? How does how did Gavin and 52 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: Brooks get invited into Anytime? Man? What's going on around? 53 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: He do a little cheaters Monopoly man cheeters Welcome. I 54 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: feel like we'd be the suckers we show up to 55 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,959 Speaker 1: like a dungeon dragon something. They just they just take 56 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 1: all our money and do a starter group. You'll do 57 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: a starter group we need? Yeah, Okay, let's do it. 58 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: I'm in for I'm in next up. Diet al right, 59 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: here we go, Gavin's favorite topic, diet and nutrition. Diet 60 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: and nutrition are so important to me. They are I 61 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: know I can live for them. Basic pizza based on 62 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: the pizza that you were just ducking into blue cheese dress. 63 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: But I can't believe we're talking about diet shod pizza 64 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: in our mouth. Yeah, we've been working hard. Thank you, 65 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: d table pizza. We've been working hard. Chet cheet day. 66 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: You are. You are a pretty much a professional nutritionist 67 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: and registered dietitian. Anyway, when you walked in the room, 68 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: I felt it. You could feel it for aura like 69 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: I could sense it. It just it screamed Atkins. You 70 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: saw those boxes on my stomach. He thought it was 71 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: a storage facility. That's right, get cleaner as you wear. 72 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: Just just to help you, just to help you do 73 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: the heavy lifting here. In this next second, we're also 74 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: going to bring on friend of the show, previous guests 75 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: of the show. She might be the first person that's 76 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: been on two times with us. Christie's back with us, Christie, Christie, 77 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: what's up? Hi? I know, I wish, I know, I 78 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: so wish I could be instinuing with you. Guys know 79 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: we miss you. So you're a sports dietitian at the 80 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: University of Southern California. You have a massive, massive resume here, 81 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: but you are my favorite story to tell every time 82 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: I talk about you, was you were our sports nutrition 83 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: coach for the l A Kings when I played here 84 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: in town. Yes, I was. Yeah, so we we if 85 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: we're like our listeners to eight and drank probably everything 86 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: over the holidays, we love for some tips in the 87 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,359 Speaker 1: start of the new year to get our diet and 88 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 1: nutrition back in line. Where do we start if we're 89 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 1: just we just gorge over the holidays, where do we 90 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,159 Speaker 1: even start for this one? Well, that's a great question. 91 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: I mean, I definitely think everybody, It feels like most 92 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: people that I've talked to you to everybody has this 93 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: goal for the newal of like how do I know, 94 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: restructure my life and just cut myself into a better 95 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: routine and have it. And I always tell people that 96 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: the best thing you can do for yourself is to track, 97 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: not even on my Fitness Pal or any of those 98 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: apps with calories, because I think that can lead to 99 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: just obsessive behaviors, but just even just start like writing 100 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: down what you eat and what time, everything that goes 101 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: in your mouth, because I think people are so busy 102 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: that would end up happening is that they hardly eat 103 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: during the day and then they come home and they're 104 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: exhausted and they just eat a bunch of stuff at night, 105 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: and then they start the cycle all over where they 106 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: hardly eat in the morning it sort of continues, or 107 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: they're snacking on things that they're not even aware of 108 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: because they're so busy and they're hungry, and then a 109 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 1: coworker brings and donuts or whatever, and you end up, 110 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: you know, falling into that type of habits. So the 111 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: first thing I think would be to keep a food 112 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: bog of what you eat in the times and begin 113 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 1: to see your patterns like either you are not eating 114 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,839 Speaker 1: enough protein and so you're over eating on carbohydrates and sugars, 115 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: or you have that you know, three o'clock slum in 116 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: the afternoon where all you want is sugar, and that 117 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: could be because you didn't eat enough at lunch. So 118 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,880 Speaker 1: you kind of begin to see you just habits and patterns. 119 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: I think that's all is a great place to start. 120 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: And then it's being realistic with yourself of exercise, and 121 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: that has to be a part of anybody's health and 122 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: fitness goals is to fit that in. And what I 123 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: think is happening because Instagram has blowing up with all 124 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: these wonderful fitness videos and in different ways, finding something 125 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,279 Speaker 1: that really resonates with you instead of trying to do 126 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: with what a friend of doing that you don't even 127 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: like to do and you actually hate the whole time 128 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: you're doing it. So it's finding something that you really 129 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: enjoy doing and that could be a video or could 130 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,080 Speaker 1: be trying a different class. Um. So those two things 131 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: of the food blog and then finding something that you 132 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: can commit to that you enjoy. In terms of moving 133 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: your body, let's say say, oh no, you go. You're 134 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: already logging. Over logging, Christie logging Now. They say that 135 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: getting the right amount of risks helps your muscle develop. 136 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: If I just sleep all the time, can I get ripped? 137 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: You're going to be shredded, Christie, sleep all day. As 138 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: as you were talking, you're on the last time you're 139 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: here with us, you were in studio, but you're on 140 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: the phone right now. As you were talking, Gavin wrote 141 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: pizza thirty on his plate as pizza plate, so he's 142 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: taking your advice. And then and then as you talked 143 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: about working out, he looked at me because I have 144 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: a fitness appy. He's like, yeah, get me set up 145 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: on that app. That's right there you go. I mean 146 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: I actually have and it's incredible. Yes, and for our listeners, 147 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: for everybody listening. Also, we're going to give you fifty 148 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: off your first month if you go to open Gym. 149 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: Just go on, go on our Instagram. I can't believe 150 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: you're not going to give me a free month, buddy. 151 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: I'll give it to you if you go on. For 152 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 1: anybody listening to your kickstarting your health, nutrition with Christy 153 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 1: is a big part of it, but also fitness that 154 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: as well. Um, how men think listeners will get fifty 155 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: off their first month, find us on Instagram at open 156 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: Gym and when you sign up, type in h MT 157 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 1: podcast all in capital letters and you'll get Is there 158 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: a program for guys who don't want to pull tendons? Yeah? Man, 159 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,439 Speaker 1: we have bodyweight program which is like twenty minutes a day. 160 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: My mom does that every single day. But you're gonna 161 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,439 Speaker 1: give Gavin two months, I'll give you Gavin two more months. 162 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: He's so dedicated. Can I tell you what ladies worry about? 163 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: What's that? Yes? I need to get me. Something's wrong 164 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: up here on my arms. Something's wrong right here. I'm 165 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: pointing to my belly. But if I get if we 166 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,640 Speaker 1: get too thin in the belly, I'm going to lose 167 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: the one part I like, which are the b o 168 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: o bes you? Yeah, stop reusing Yeah, I mean that idea, right, 169 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: I know everybody wants to have this like beautifully sculpted body, 170 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: Like I want to lose it from here, but not here. 171 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: If I could just take this fat from a stomach 172 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: and put it on my chest or like put it 173 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: on my butt, like obviously there's I mean that's why 174 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 1: I think lifting weights, especially for women, is so important. 175 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: I think there's still this idea of cardio cardio cardio 176 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: when it's I know, but it's I mean, it is 177 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: really about sculpting and toning your body, and unless you 178 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: have some type of resistance training, it's there's that is 179 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,760 Speaker 1: such a huge component. And remember, after the age of thirty, 180 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: you lose a pound of muscle a year, so already 181 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: replacing that you are going to be replacing it with fat, 182 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: and fat doesn't burn any calories. And now you're in 183 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: a like a really a situation where you have to 184 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,600 Speaker 1: figure out what you're eating and how you're eating because 185 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: you don't have a lot of room, you know, the 186 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: muscle you have, the more calories you burn. Fat makes 187 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: drinking into pool easier though regardless of temperature. The only 188 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: thing again, Brettie Prince Jr. Ever have to show his 189 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: abs in a film. Yeah, I've had to show the washboard. 190 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: I've had to show you not not when you got 191 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: an eight package. So Chris Christie, can you can you 192 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: give our listeners a couple of tips just to get 193 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: him out of the gate to start. Yeah, that's what 194 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you. If you're just getting started right, 195 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: like you're just getting started. It's hard to do stuff 196 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: cold turkey, But diet is about ninety And this isn't 197 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,679 Speaker 1: me saying this. I've spoken to a couple of physiologists, 198 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: and I've had personal trainers, and I've heard this repeatedly. 199 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: The diet is responsible for just about of your gains 200 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: and losses, and exercise is going to be the rest 201 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: of that. Now, I've heard different numbers, but it's always high. 202 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: What I know a lot of people who just say 203 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,839 Speaker 1: they can't cook, but prep meals seem to be the 204 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: easiest way I've found to do that. Do you believe 205 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: in that? How can you help people? And do you 206 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:35,959 Speaker 1: think christ is diet. Oh absolutely not. It's exercise because 207 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: those seriously, because there's plenty of people who work out 208 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: all the time and you see them, you're you're like, 209 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: nothing's changing. Like those are the ones that are doing 210 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: all the work, and they'll do like those spend two 211 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: hours in the jam. But then if they don't work 212 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: on the nutrition, they're really just it's it's yeah, they're 213 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: not going to see results. So you'll never Christians part 214 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 1: is huge. Yeah. I always say you'll never outtrain a 215 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: poor it. That's good. You just won't. You just won't. 216 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: Even if you train, even if you train as much 217 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: as I train, you'll never out train a poor diet 218 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: because the poor diet will continue and at some point 219 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: the training will slack off a little bit. Diet, and 220 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: specifically within diet, portion control is a massive, massive party 221 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 1: something to help with that. And I don't get any 222 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: money from George Foreman, but those George Foreman grills are 223 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:28,160 Speaker 1: those little like little grills that fit in anybody's apartment. Freddie, 224 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: I don't have a stove. You got a George Forman grill. 225 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: And also it also helps with portion control because you 226 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: can only fit so much on that bad boy. But 227 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: if you can get a chicken breast and some vegetables 228 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: on there and do that, you know, three or four 229 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: times in one night, and set your meal prep up 230 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: for the week, that can help people a lot with 231 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: making healthier choices. Man, a lot of times it's just choices, right, 232 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: Oh it is. I mean, I think what you said 233 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: about like meal prepping is a huge component to this, 234 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: because the point is that if you don't have the 235 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: healthy foods in the house you begin with, then you 236 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: you of you know, you're gonna start your work week 237 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: and end up just eating out most of the time, 238 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: which is a lot of people's problems. They don't kirk 239 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,080 Speaker 1: at home because they either they don't have the time 240 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: or whatever the situation is. But there's so many simple, 241 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: easy things that you can prepare at home that are 242 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: just like you know, badge cook a bunch of like groll, 243 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: a bunch of chicken or roast, a bunch of vegetables. 244 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: And when you're looking at your plate. For those that 245 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: are trying to really cut back but they were so 246 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: used to eating large portions, that's when you have to 247 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,599 Speaker 1: have half of your plate being vegetables and then a 248 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: quarter protein and even maybe a little bit less of 249 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: a quarter then of carbohydrates. And eating slowly is also 250 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: something that's incredibly important too, because if you're eating fast, 251 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,080 Speaker 1: then your body hasn't had a chance to kind of 252 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: catch up and tell you that it's had enough. You're hungry, 253 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 1: so then you go back and eat more. And then lady, 254 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: you're like, why am myself full? Yeah? I gotta tell 255 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: my ten year old daughter this all the time. I'm like, 256 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna make yourself sick, yea, but I'm not full yet. 257 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, because you ate a whole plate of food 258 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: in four and a half minutes, can go slow. The 259 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: other thing, one other thing I think people are sometimes 260 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: guilty of is they'll they'll be really they'll be like, oh, 261 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: just they'll under eat. Actually, when we talk about portion control, 262 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: I think some people will under eat, which leads to 263 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: them over eating. So they won't they won't have breakfast, 264 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: or they'll just have something light at breakfast. Then maybe 265 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: they just have like a small salad lunch, but they're 266 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: really now starting to get hungry. They don't have a 267 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: mid afternoon like healthy snack bar, and they push that 268 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 1: off until like five or six o'clock. Then their their 269 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: brain and their body is just going crazy and they'll 270 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: just eat now anything like that. Bill Gates, he's the 271 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,280 Speaker 1: exception of the rule. Bill Gates does not eat breakfast. 272 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 1: His first meal isn't until one o'clock in the afternoon 273 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: every single day. I have no idea how he does. 274 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: He might he might be intermittent fasting, or he's very 275 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: popular too. Can you touch on that, Christie, intermitte fasting, yeah, 276 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 1: or just the not eating and then overeating at night. 277 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: I mean both, Yeah, let's go both. Let's talk about Yeah. 278 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: I mean I think inter fasting is. I mean, look, 279 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 1: there's a lot of research to back it up. I'm 280 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 1: one to say, like mostly I would say for the 281 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 1: average person, it's it's not for everybody. Um, And you 282 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: have to just do your research and do it in 283 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 1: a way where you can do smaller windows. You don't 284 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 1: have to do these long hours without eating. But um, 285 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: but I do think there's this over snacking issue some 286 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: people do too, where that intermitte fasting can be very helpful, 287 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 1: you know, so you you have a shorter window of 288 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 1: time during the day. But I don't think especially if 289 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: somebody is starting out and they want to you know, 290 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: look good and feel good for the new I would say, 291 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: don't do any set don't I would you know, stay 292 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: away from more of the diets and really just look 293 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: at your behaviors and cut back on the amount of 294 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,360 Speaker 1: sugars and excess snacking that people do. Which I think 295 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: that when I see people in my private practice for 296 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: weight loss, and when I start talking to them about 297 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: what they're currently eating, they are just there in the car. 298 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: They're snacking because they maybe bring nuts and now they're 299 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: you know what, what once was like a healthier option 300 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: to bring nuts in your car just in case you 301 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: get hungry, But now they're sitting into hours of traffic 302 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 1: and that bag of less is gone before they get home. 303 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: So there's a lot of that happening. Um. But I 304 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: certainly feel like intermitute fasting can be really, really helpful 305 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 1: for a lot of people. I've seen many people lose 306 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: weight and keep it off by doing that. But it's 307 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: a dedication. They really it's got to work in your 308 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: life because it's you know, very difficult to do. If 309 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,160 Speaker 1: you want to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a 310 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: timely fashion. How do you how do you feel about fat? Fat? 311 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,120 Speaker 1: You know what I mean, like food that has fat. 312 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: You're like no sugar, no carbs or less sugar, less carbs. 313 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: How about fat? I'm actually trying to how do you 314 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 1: feel about fat? You know what I mean? Like cream 315 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: heavy cream on the meat and that now, So I 316 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: would prefer people to use healthier mono unsaturated fats, like 317 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: to end extra avocado, go ahead and add an extra 318 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: table stone of olive oil to your salad, um and 319 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: still and be satiated that way then, um, cutting out 320 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: fat or going for like the heavy fats, like you know, 321 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: I'm just going to smother my salad and branch now 322 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: because I want to because delicious. Here. Hey, so here's 323 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: another question. So I go out, you know for breakfast, 324 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: say right, because I live in hotels and stuff. So um, 325 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,399 Speaker 1: when I say, I order some eggs, right, and I 326 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,959 Speaker 1: asked them, hey, do you mind not using any oil? 327 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: Can you just please cook it in butter? How do 328 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: you feel about that? Do I have a death wish? Um? 329 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 1: Not necessarily, because first of all, that's that's one I 330 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,639 Speaker 1: never looked at one thing and it would categorize you 331 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 1: as like, oh wow, like you're on to you grow 332 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 1: to destruction because you like your eggs and butter. But yeah, 333 00:17:56,119 --> 00:18:00,400 Speaker 1: I was going to say that stuff, but but yeah, 334 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,920 Speaker 1: I mean, I you know, I don't think the butter 335 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: is necessarily a bad thing. I think there's a lot 336 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,320 Speaker 1: worse um fats out there, to be honest, um, so 337 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: I would which fats do you think are worse? Like 338 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: so bad? Please? You're asking like you want to know 339 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: where they are so you could eat them. I'm kind 340 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 1: of curious why all the hil There's a lot of 341 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 1: stuff like canola oils that are very hy I mean, 342 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,199 Speaker 1: there's a lot of different like oils and and like 343 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 1: I was saying, like ranch or um even like heavy creams, 344 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,439 Speaker 1: Like those kinds of things wouldn't be first on my 345 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 1: list of something you should be having on a legular basis. 346 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 1: But if you were, like, you know what, this is 347 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: what I really enjoy, like having my eggs cooked in butter. 348 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 1: But then for the rest of the day, I'm very 349 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: you know, mindful of other saturated fats that I put 350 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,919 Speaker 1: in my diet. That's the key. It's when people eliminate 351 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:55,360 Speaker 1: everything and then they're just unhappy and livable. Then they 352 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 1: start eating other things. So to me, it's like looking 353 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: at your overall diet and be like, if that's what 354 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: you like for your breakfast, as long as the rest 355 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 1: of the day isn't like pizza and burger and French 356 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,719 Speaker 1: fries and other stuff, then you're okay. So canola oils 357 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 1: like the Floyd Mayweather of oils, like it looks like 358 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 1: it's going to give you something delicious, but at the 359 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 1: end you're very unsatisfied. And canola oils are genetically modified. 360 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: I think that's part of the problem. And then you've 361 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,919 Speaker 1: got to be careful too, like if you're you're heating 362 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,280 Speaker 1: certain oils as well, Like you really want to cook 363 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 1: an avocado oil or coconut oil versus if you're frying 364 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 1: things in olive oil. It's not ideal. Listener, how do 365 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: I know you're not invested in the avocado oil industries. 366 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: I'm definitely not. I would just kidding, um. But yeah, 367 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: So I think that it's kind of looking at That's 368 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: what I was saying. I think everybody sort of needs 369 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,720 Speaker 1: to take a step back and look at their behaviors 370 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,360 Speaker 1: and point and understand some of the things that they're 371 00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: consuming that they really enjoy. Like I have a client 372 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: who loves bagels, and she's like, if I could just 373 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: have a bagel for every breakfast, I really not crave 374 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: as many carbs throughout the day. And I've done that. 375 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: She's lost arouny fifteen pounds. But before she was like, 376 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:13,880 Speaker 1: I heard bagels are bad, they make you gain weight. 377 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 1: That she may carbohydrates or whatever it's for her. My 378 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: wife Jewish, she would have smacked her if she heard 379 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: her say those things about bagels. See, but you've got 380 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,719 Speaker 1: to work with each person. So I think that's why 381 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: it's not a cookie cutter way of developing a healthy lifestyle, 382 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: you know, and cookies can be part of that. Christie, 383 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 1: I appreciate you coming on. UM, I have one more question, 384 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,800 Speaker 1: just one more, like, just tell our listeners if this 385 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: is good or bad. This is what I uh, real 386 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,120 Speaker 1: simple formula I try and follow. Um. I try and 387 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,920 Speaker 1: eat very lean. You're very clean, but I try and 388 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 1: if I'm going to eat any carbs or starches, I'll 389 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: do it before two o'clock because my metabolism will naturally 390 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 1: slow down after two pm. And then in the evening 391 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 1: I'll do a meat with a steam vegetable, so a 392 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: protein with a steam vegetable carbs earlier in the day 393 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: because your metabolism is higher steam vegetables, leaner meal in 394 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:10,119 Speaker 1: the evening. So yes, all of that I totally agree 395 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: with completely, unless you're a person who I have people 396 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: who work out at night and then they're like the 397 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 1: protein and vegetable saying. So it depends on also when 398 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,199 Speaker 1: your workout is. But you're right, carbs are designed for 399 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,640 Speaker 1: to the energy right, and as the day goes on 400 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: and work, you know, most people kind of slowed down 401 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,480 Speaker 1: midday to the evening. That's when they should be having 402 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,960 Speaker 1: less carbs forsa. But I have clients who work out 403 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 1: let's say at seven, like six o'clock or right after work, 404 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 1: all put in a little bit of carbohydrate, but a 405 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,640 Speaker 1: small amount um. But for in general, I would say 406 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 1: that's a good that's a really good rule. But also 407 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: to caveat that making sure that they're not over consuming 408 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,000 Speaker 1: on carbs earlier in the day because I can't have 409 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: them at night, you know what I mean. So I 410 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: think it's like a little bit of Philip on my 411 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: keen while lunch because I'm not gonna have any at dinner. 412 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 1: So it's it's always like making sure that the amount is, 413 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: you know, like a fist a fistful for most people. 414 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,400 Speaker 1: It depends on that. But if you look at your 415 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 1: plate and it's covered in quinoa or you have a 416 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,920 Speaker 1: ton of potatoes or rice, it's always a good idea 417 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,199 Speaker 1: to cut back on carbs in general and sugar and 418 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: that proteins healthy fats and vegetables with the majority. Awesome, 419 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Chocolate and bowler berries I eat 420 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:28,560 Speaker 1: right before bed. I'm nailing it. Yes, listen, keep that 421 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: in for sure, Christie, thank you so much. Um, where 422 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: can our listeners find you? Should? They want more information 423 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: on this? They want to start in a healthy new way. 424 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,920 Speaker 1: So a couple of I think, Amy, have my my 425 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: social website. I believe, Um, and that made you get 426 00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:47,560 Speaker 1: give out your new Instagram that you never post on. 427 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 1: I know she's so bad at market. So KM cam 428 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: Sports Nutrition is the website KM Sports Nutrition. And then Um, 429 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: do you want email or no, don't get your email? 430 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,399 Speaker 1: What's your instagram? Dude? Oh Christie dot Morrell m O 431 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: R R E l L. So now you'll just see 432 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: pictures of Christie's kids. Christie, I thought that's that. I agree, Amy, 433 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,720 Speaker 1: I know you've trying to start like a whole thing. 434 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: She just told everybody want to eat. We're going to 435 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 1: tell her to be better about marketing, you know. She 436 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: thank you so much. I always appreciate it. Gets never 437 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,080 Speaker 1: get down the marketing, um Amy. We gotta get Christie 438 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: back in studio with us because diet it's such an 439 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 1: important part of aut a healthy life. So thank you 440 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: so much. Thank you Christy, Thank you guys. All right, 441 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:44,679 Speaker 1: take care. This one's the scary one. This is the 442 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: scary one. This is a massive Our community reached out 443 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 1: and sent us so many questions and topics and wanted 444 00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: us to dive into this one. Anxiety, anxiety, stress, all 445 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: of the things anxiety. We're going to dive in to anxiety. 446 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 1: People want to reduce the amount of stress and anxiety 447 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 1: that they have in their everyday life. I want nothing 448 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: more for people to reduce that and feel calm and 449 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 1: feel grace and feel poised and fun and free in 450 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: their lives versus stressing, stressing, stress. I know people in 451 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: my life who are just stressed, and it doesn't I 452 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,960 Speaker 1: don't even want to be around them because it's that 453 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: energy is just resonating off. So we have with us 454 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: Dr Hillary gold Shure, Hillary, are you on the phone. 455 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: I am, Thank you so much for coming on so 456 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: uh Dr Hillary, you are a licensed clinical psychologist with 457 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 1: a private practice in Beverly Hills. You specialize in treatment 458 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: of couples, relationships, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, eating disorders, you 459 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,159 Speaker 1: name it. Um, where do we even start with somebody 460 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: that has anxiety? What's like the the first place you'll 461 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: look at their lives or the first area you're able 462 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:05,400 Speaker 1: to help. Yeah, I mean, anxiety is a symptom that 463 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 1: typically comes from pushing away painful, difficult, stressful thoughts and emotion. 464 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 1: So it usually shows up as a symptom. So I 465 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 1: always want to know what things are going on in 466 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: their lives outside of the anxiety symptoms. What's happening professionally, 467 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: personally in the relationships, issues that they've had in the past, etcetera, 468 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: that are contributing to their tendency to like avoid painful 469 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings because they usually show up a symptoms 470 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,520 Speaker 1: of anxiety. MM. So if somebody let me impact that 471 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,160 Speaker 1: a little bit. So if somebody, let's say, somebody goes 472 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: to even eating, eating can be a very unhealthy thing 473 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 1: they actually won't have an eating problem. They will have 474 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,440 Speaker 1: some sort of anxiety or an issue or a trauma 475 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,280 Speaker 1: somewhere else in their life that they becomes the result 476 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,840 Speaker 1: of avoiding the pain of this other issue. Is that correct? 477 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: That's right. The eating becomes the symptom, that's right. So 478 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: it probably is also true that they then have manifested 479 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: in eating problem, if you will. So it's not that 480 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: it can't be true that the eating issues are invasive 481 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 1: in their life as well. But in order to get 482 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 1: to kind of the origin of it, yes, almost always, 483 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: really without exception, there's something else going on, and the 484 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,440 Speaker 1: eating or the drinking or the overworking or whatever the 485 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:35,159 Speaker 1: symptom is is a mechanism of escaped. So how do 486 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,199 Speaker 1: we encourage somebody. My dad when I was, when I 487 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,119 Speaker 1: was a child, and just even still as in my 488 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,960 Speaker 1: life now, my dad, hillary Um always encouraged this. He said, 489 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: run towards the fire. And my dad was a principal, 490 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 1: and he said every day when he got to school, 491 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: the first thing, the first three things he did in 492 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,639 Speaker 1: the morning were the three things he least wanted to 493 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,080 Speaker 1: do in the course of his day. And so he 494 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,399 Speaker 1: he built this monster to run towards the fire, and 495 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 1: he goes, after I did those three things, Brooks, I 496 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: could get on with the rest of my day, and 497 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: and I wasn't left worrying about Oh at the end 498 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: of the day, I now have to conquer the three 499 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 1: biggest beasts of my day. So he instilled that in 500 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: myself and my brother and my sister, run towards the fire. 501 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: And it's been a phrase that I've leaned on a 502 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: lot in the course of my life. Um, But for 503 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 1: our listeners who are maybe scared of that or haven't 504 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 1: been trained or taught that, how what are the first 505 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,720 Speaker 1: steps we can encourage somebody to move towards a trauma 506 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: or an issue or a problem, because that's not a 507 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: fun thing to do. Nobody will really wants to do that. 508 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,400 Speaker 1: I love that that's such that that is such good 509 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,640 Speaker 1: psychological advice. It's such a good way of taking care 510 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,440 Speaker 1: of like your brain and your heart is to kind 511 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,880 Speaker 1: of run towards what's hard, and you know, the way 512 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: to kind of break that down in the way that 513 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: might feel more digestible for listeners who are just kind 514 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 1: of consemplating this possibility is like finding a safe place, 515 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 1: a safe way to think about feelings, to think about issues, 516 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 1: to think about inner conflicts, to think about things in 517 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 1: their lives that aren't working. And so a safe place 518 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: might be therapy, a safe place might be a trusted friend. 519 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 1: A safe place might be meditating. A safe place might 520 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: be journaling, you know, finding an outlet that feels possible 521 00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,719 Speaker 1: to let some of those kind of scary, difficult thoughts 522 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 1: come up, because when they stay kind of stuffed down 523 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 1: inside of us, they always create symptoms. And even though 524 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,879 Speaker 1: it's scary to kind of look at that stuff closed 525 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: up and feel the pain and the fear and the 526 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 1: hopelessness or whatever comes with it, it is always the 527 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 1: first step towards healing. It's always the first step towards 528 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 1: sort of lifting the haze of anxiety. That's sort of 529 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: what this show is. That's why we started this gaye 530 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: for us, uh Dr Hilary. We wanted to do. I'm 531 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 1: not good naturally at talking about my emotions or my 532 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: feelings or vulnerable disagree. I was not though, That's why 533 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: this this podcast for me. It keeps me honest, and 534 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,400 Speaker 1: it keeps me It's it's training to to use a 535 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: muscle that's not natural for me. So in doing this podcast, 536 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: I've got better at sharing vulnerabilities and insecurities and hopes 537 00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: that it encourages other men to do that um or 538 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,720 Speaker 1: other other women too. UM. But how do we trying 539 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: to think where to go with this is, how do 540 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:35,880 Speaker 1: we encourage other people to accept that discomfort, because even 541 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: for me, it's hard, Like for on on the show 542 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: here Gap, we challenge each other all the time. We 543 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: need to open up more, we need to be more vulnerable, 544 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: We need to like say more truths, hoping that uncovering 545 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,120 Speaker 1: these will help people out there that are really struggling. 546 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 1: But it's damn hard to move that way. It's but 547 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: I think, and I think part of the reason it 548 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: is tough is because everybody is so afraid to say 549 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 1: the wrong thing in an effort to express themselves. That 550 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: people just keep their mouth shut about a lot of things. 551 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: And so, you know, we're not all politicians. Sometimes you're 552 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: just speaking off the cuff and something may be misinterpreted 553 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 1: as a quote unquote wrong thing to say, but you're 554 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,480 Speaker 1: just you talking through how you feel at the moment. 555 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:18,440 Speaker 1: You haven't quite formulated how to express it yet. And 556 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: I think that's also a part of why people have 557 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 1: a hard time beginning the process of discussing certain things 558 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: that are difficult for them is because they're afraid to 559 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: say the wrong thing in the process of trying to 560 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: figure out how to say what it is it's on 561 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 1: their mind. Yeah, I think, I think you're so right. 562 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 1: There's just that vulnerability to be seen as weak, or 563 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: to say something that someone feels offended by, or to 564 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: say something that is politically incorrect, whether it's sort of 565 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: in a macro sensor, just in a micro sense, that 566 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: context of your life. Yeah, we all understand that. Yeah, right, Ye, 567 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: all of those gears exist. But you know, I think 568 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: perhaps for your listeners, the idea, uh and it sounds 569 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 1: so cliche, but it's really true. And I love how 570 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: you guys are talking about this, the idea that they're 571 00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: really not alone, that everybody, men and women alike, experience 572 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 1: that fear of being vulnerable, vulnerable, experience, that fear of 573 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 1: exposing parts of themselves that feel you know, unfinished, not 574 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:22,120 Speaker 1: short up, afraid, and the idea that like, we're all 575 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 1: human and all are in this together and all have 576 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: similar experiences, and you know, it's just having this conversation 577 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: with the client recently that for men and women alike, 578 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,440 Speaker 1: there there's there's a strange ability for you know, kind 579 00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: of the mind and body to not have great muscle 580 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,160 Speaker 1: memory around this stuff, meaning that most people will report 581 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: when they are open and vulnerable that later they feel 582 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: pretty good about it, but the next time they go 583 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 1: to do it, they're just as scared. It's hard, and 584 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: it's always hard. And maybe if your listeners sort of 585 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 1: know that, like every one of us men, women, therapists, 586 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 1: you guys are like, you know, when you're struggling with 587 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: something and you go to be vulnerable, that it's hard 588 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: each time. It's like the human experience, the sorry, but 589 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: the no, go ahead and go ahead. I think it's 590 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:18,960 Speaker 1: served that weird dichotomy between being brave enough to be 591 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: vulnerable and how you know that. It's sort of this 592 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,520 Speaker 1: interesting fine line between the two things, but they are interrelated. 593 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: I often say to my patients, you aren't brave unless 594 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: you're afraid. Do you know what I mean? That's that's 595 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 1: brave or courageous unless it's hard, That's right, It's yeah. 596 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 1: I feel that way. Honestly. When we do this show, 597 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: we walk in the studio and every day when I 598 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: walk in. I'm I'm honestly scared. I'm I'm we're going 599 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: to talk about something. There's something in me that I'm like, Oh, 600 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about that, but I make YouTube, GAV. 601 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: We make a conscious decision when we enter this studio 602 00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:00,040 Speaker 1: that we are going to do the hard work. It 603 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 1: was our pledge in our very first podcast. We're gonna 604 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,800 Speaker 1: be open and genuine and raw and try and do 605 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: hard work on ourselves, hoping, just hoping that somebody out 606 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 1: there listening might be inspired by that or see that 607 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,880 Speaker 1: it's okay to feel that way, or resonates with it, 608 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: or knows that they're not the only one feeling that way. Um, 609 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,320 Speaker 1: and for anybody listening, it does actually get easier. So 610 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: I don't know what this is podcast thirty or what 611 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: it is, but the first few were like, WHOA, this 612 00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: is tough to open up, and but now it's starting 613 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,160 Speaker 1: to come in and the conversations are more free flowing. 614 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 1: And as you said, Dr Hillary, it's amazing when you 615 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 1: express like a a trauma or an insecurity or a 616 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 1: feeling of concern and you openly express it and it's 617 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 1: received with no judgment. Quite often, I think we think 618 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: we're going to be judged when we we say something 619 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: like that, but actually the people around us are just 620 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,960 Speaker 1: gonna shower us with love and affection and line up 621 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: to help. That's the other thing. We've seen such a 622 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: response from our our listeners, and any time in my 623 00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 1: life when I've reached out to a friend or family 624 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 1: member or something, they drop everything in line up to help. Yeah. Well, 625 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,800 Speaker 1: I think there's also you know, I think there's there's 626 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 1: there's sort of there's a group intelligence, and there's also 627 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,279 Speaker 1: a group there's certain like a group I Q, but 628 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,399 Speaker 1: there's also a group EQ, you know what I mean. 629 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 1: And I think that that that's an element to it 630 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: as well, where you put it out there and people 631 00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:25,440 Speaker 1: begin to say, okay. All it does is we have 632 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,239 Speaker 1: to realize also from where we are our platform is 633 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,399 Speaker 1: that when we talk about what we're going through, it's 634 00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 1: simply human humanizes us and it allows other people to 635 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:37,640 Speaker 1: sort of express themselves too. And so that's the beauty 636 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,279 Speaker 1: of the format, you know, to discuss things that are 637 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 1: on our mind. There is that amazing phenomenon. We're almost 638 00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,640 Speaker 1: always when we are vulnerable and open up. You're right, 639 00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: people people come towards us, not move away. And I 640 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,319 Speaker 1: think part of that is that people are inherently good, 641 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: But part of that is because it touches within ourselves. 642 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:59,320 Speaker 1: We recognize each other. I feel that too. I'm afraid 643 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: to I'm vunerable too, and you're so bullied that someone 644 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 1: else and showing that part of themselves that people, I 645 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 1: think UM are are mobilized by it. It's really powerful. 646 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,520 Speaker 1: I have a question for you, Dr hilary Um. What 647 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,760 Speaker 1: area of most people's lives gives them the most anxiety. 648 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: Would it be relationship, would it be career, would it 649 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,359 Speaker 1: be finances? What? In your practice? What do you see 650 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 1: most common that people struggle with it gives them the 651 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: most anxiety. I would say that the deepest, most soulcial anxiety, 652 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:43,000 Speaker 1: if you will, usually is around relationships. Is around one's 653 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:50,440 Speaker 1: you know, most primitive relationship, typically the romantic relationship. Sometimes 654 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,920 Speaker 1: other relationships are the most formative, depending on one's life circumstances. 655 00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,520 Speaker 1: But I would say those are the ones that tend 656 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,799 Speaker 1: to those type of anxiety. These are the ones that 657 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,799 Speaker 1: tend to break freely, even um the most sturdy of 658 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 1: coping mechanisms right in it, of course, I see a 659 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,359 Speaker 1: lot of anxiety around and professional staff and finances and 660 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,359 Speaker 1: all of that. But I think it's for me. It's 661 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 1: people's core, this relationship stuff and all the vulnerability that 662 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 1: comes up and things that it pulls up from our past, 663 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,320 Speaker 1: pains from our past, and business from our past. That 664 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: was my next question is what specifically within a relationship 665 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:32,360 Speaker 1: gives the most anxiety. Is it insecurities? Is it fears? 666 00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 1: Um like but you said things from our past? Is 667 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,479 Speaker 1: that things about us that we're not proud of, things 668 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,920 Speaker 1: we've done, things that were shameful of. You know what 669 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: I often see. I mean, certainly it is in that 670 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,280 Speaker 1: subset what you just mentioned, certainly, But what I most 671 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 1: often see is some version as you were just talking 672 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:57,520 Speaker 1: about about insecurities, fears of abandoned, the fears of vulnerability, 673 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: that instead of showing up that way, show up in 674 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:07,799 Speaker 1: another way like anger or shutting down, or infidelity or 675 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,799 Speaker 1: overworking or drinking. Right, you know, things that that negatively 676 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,319 Speaker 1: impact the relationship are invasive to the connection of the relationship, 677 00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:20,439 Speaker 1: And oftentimes though is But oftentimes, if you dig in 678 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,240 Speaker 1: with the client and relate it back to their early 679 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: childhood years, their dynamics in their family of origin. You 680 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,600 Speaker 1: find pains and wounds and hurts that never really got 681 00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:36,400 Speaker 1: resolved that can get projected onto the current relationship. So if, um, 682 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,680 Speaker 1: if somebody felt like, oh, their their mother never really 683 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: saw them fully as a person, was you know, felt 684 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,960 Speaker 1: sort of abandoning emotionally, that that person can be overly 685 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,720 Speaker 1: sensitive to their partner checking out or not attending to them, 686 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,720 Speaker 1: for example. So oftentimes we're able to link those things 687 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:57,400 Speaker 1: and and make some pretty powerful progress as a result. 688 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: It's that that's fascinating to me because that's like a puzzle, right, 689 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,880 Speaker 1: that's like a like a it's a deep dive of 690 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 1: a journey. Seeing this from twelve years ago affects this 691 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: decision making process today. And we all have it. We 692 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,960 Speaker 1: all carry their past with us and it shows up 693 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:17,360 Speaker 1: in our present. And and unless we actually do some 694 00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,799 Speaker 1: of this reflective work and you said it's journaling, you 695 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,439 Speaker 1: said it could be talking to a therapist. Uh, these 696 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:28,320 Speaker 1: different practices reading, Um, we're going to carry this behavior 697 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 1: with us in the future. And I also believe that 698 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,880 Speaker 1: a behavior doesn't define a person. So if we acted 699 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,879 Speaker 1: a certain way or act a certain way, that's a behavior, 700 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:44,719 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean, that's necessarily who we are, so 701 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 1: I can I can do something gave to you that 702 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:50,319 Speaker 1: upsets you, and you might still love me as a dude, 703 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: but you're like, I don't like that behavior. That what 704 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 1: you just did there, you know what I mean. So 705 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,160 Speaker 1: for people listening, I don't want them to be defined 706 00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,359 Speaker 1: by their past. I don't want their future. Sure if 707 00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,520 Speaker 1: they if they have a traumatic past or things that 708 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 1: they're insecure about, our fears or something, I don't want 709 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 1: them to carry that into the president or into the future. 710 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,200 Speaker 1: But I do want them to, as my dad used 711 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 1: to say, run towards the fire, discover what that is, 712 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 1: lean into that and really own it, wear it and 713 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,640 Speaker 1: say that was a part of me. But I can 714 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:24,360 Speaker 1: today change the path of my future. I haven't mentioned 715 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,560 Speaker 1: it yet, but I love hearing you quote your dad 716 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 1: because my dad always used to say something almost identical, 717 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: because I'd say, run to the lion. Oh yeah, he'd 718 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,839 Speaker 1: always run to the line, run towards the line, same 719 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,239 Speaker 1: exact kind of thing, you know it was about. You know, 720 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 1: he'd say, don't waste your calories trying to get away 721 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:50,560 Speaker 1: from the problem. Go to the problem. Don't exhaust yourself 722 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,760 Speaker 1: trying to get away from it. Go fix it, whatever 723 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: it is, go at it, you know what I mean. 724 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:02,319 Speaker 1: And U said to about the you know, there's such 725 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 1: a beacon of hope in the notion that we are 726 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,320 Speaker 1: not our behavior. And for your listeners, beautiful who are 727 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:12,400 Speaker 1: considering all of this and feel shame or whatever the 728 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,359 Speaker 1: right word is about some of their behavior, how they 729 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,400 Speaker 1: move through the world or through relationships, you know, really 730 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,560 Speaker 1: clinging onto that notion that you are not your havior. 731 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,680 Speaker 1: You know, some of those behaviors may come from these 732 00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:26,440 Speaker 1: wounds that we're talking about, and there's there's a chance 733 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,759 Speaker 1: to shift that. There's a chance to change that, to 734 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,320 Speaker 1: understand it and make different choices in our future. So 735 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 1: not feeling like we're stuck in some narrative that we've 736 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: internalized about ourselves can be a really you know, hopeful 737 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 1: notion when someone just feel stuck in anxiety or stuck 738 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,360 Speaker 1: in behaviors, are stuck in a way of being. Yeah, 739 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 1: And I think I think the self talk you just 740 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,920 Speaker 1: touched on it, like the way we talk to ourselves, 741 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,560 Speaker 1: the way we treat ourselves is as important in that 742 00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 1: or more important than the way anybody is going to 743 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,279 Speaker 1: treat us. Um. And just while we're on this, one 744 00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: of my best buddies, UH put this on his instagram yesterday. 745 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: Mike Green put this on his instagram. I am not 746 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,120 Speaker 1: what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. 747 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 1: It's a quote by Carl J. Young. UM, And I 748 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,040 Speaker 1: saw that, I was like, I love this man, I 749 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:18,160 Speaker 1: absolutely love it. Um. So it's it sounds so easy that. 750 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,240 Speaker 1: But you said your dad said run toward the lion. 751 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 1: I say, my dad said run toward the fire. But UM, 752 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:26,120 Speaker 1: any other tips or tricks? Dr Hillary on how we 753 00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:30,760 Speaker 1: can encourage somebody to move toward the issues or problems 754 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:35,760 Speaker 1: or traumatic areas in their life in order to understand it. UM, 755 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,840 Speaker 1: come to terms with it accepted. I believe acceptance is 756 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:42,360 Speaker 1: part of it, moving on, accepting your your mistakes, accepting 757 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,400 Speaker 1: your behaviors. Accepting that is part of being able to 758 00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 1: move on and let go. But do you have any 759 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 1: before we let you go? Any more tips and tricks 760 00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:53,600 Speaker 1: to give our listeners. I let's just say this, I mean, 761 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,480 Speaker 1: just kind of really taking in that it is. It 762 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 1: is an active choice because if we kin kind of 763 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:04,240 Speaker 1: wait for it to happen to us, you know, moving 764 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:08,560 Speaker 1: towards the fire to use your dad's ideas. We usually 765 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,240 Speaker 1: can't get out of our own way. We keep repeating 766 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,880 Speaker 1: the patterns that we're used to, right, so if we 767 00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,680 Speaker 1: kind of have a passive approach it, it's hard to 768 00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,320 Speaker 1: make a shift. So it can feel a bit overwhelming. 769 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: But the idea of like just one active thing, one thing, 770 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: one little thing that's different, and picking from any of 771 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,600 Speaker 1: the things that I talked about before, you know, opening 772 00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 1: up to your partner, opening up to a friend in 773 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 1: a way that you typically don't, making an appointment with 774 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 1: a therapist, you know, journaling, even sitting down and meditating 775 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 1: for two minutes and focusing on your breathing. Just interrupting 776 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:49,560 Speaker 1: your way of being with some consciousness and mindfulness and 777 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:54,239 Speaker 1: exploration of emotions if possible, in just the smallest way, 778 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:57,279 Speaker 1: can begin to open the door. So I think it's 779 00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,000 Speaker 1: it's like a twofold message. Yes you have to be active, 780 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: but it can also be really small. You can do 781 00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:05,920 Speaker 1: in these tiny little whispers, these tiny little increments, and 782 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 1: start to build that muscle for it instead of doing 783 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,960 Speaker 1: like it has to be um you know, very dramatic 784 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,880 Speaker 1: shift from one moment to another to make anything. I 785 00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:16,239 Speaker 1: love that. Also, as I was listening to you talk there, 786 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,880 Speaker 1: I was just thinking about, Um, I'm thinking really about 787 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,200 Speaker 1: a listener out there who's listening to this and has 788 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 1: something that they want to bring up, whether to a 789 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,280 Speaker 1: romantic partner, to a friend, to a family member, whatever, 790 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,440 Speaker 1: they have something that they want to bring up. Doing 791 00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,279 Speaker 1: so to a person in your life is actually going 792 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 1: to be an amazing filter for the people in your life. 793 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,960 Speaker 1: So if I have something that's vulnerable, insecure, something that 794 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:45,200 Speaker 1: I need, whatever it is that I need to bring 795 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:49,240 Speaker 1: up to say it's to Gav and he completely rejects 796 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:50,719 Speaker 1: it or makes fun of it or shuts it down, 797 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:54,479 Speaker 1: that to me is a great filter on what kind 798 00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 1: of person this is. Or if he leans in and says, 799 00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,160 Speaker 1: tell me more, how can I help, Like I'm here 800 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,279 Speaker 1: for you. I actually struggle with that as well, Like 801 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:06,319 Speaker 1: I'm here whatever you need. Like that is an amazing 802 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,319 Speaker 1: filter for the quality of people in your life. So 803 00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,720 Speaker 1: I do want to encourage people to have that courage 804 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,320 Speaker 1: to open up, to lead the discussion, to step forward 805 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,280 Speaker 1: and say I want to talk to you. I actually 806 00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 1: have something that I'm really that's really giving me anxiety 807 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:23,240 Speaker 1: and issues, and I don't want it to be a 808 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,279 Speaker 1: an issue in my life anymore. Can I talk to 809 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 1: about this with you? Can? I trust you? And the 810 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,520 Speaker 1: response from that person you'll find out pretty soon, I 811 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,799 Speaker 1: mean what what the quality of that person is. Absolutely, 812 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,120 Speaker 1: try to give you a lot of information about the 813 00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,760 Speaker 1: people in your life. From that standpoint, maybe it feels 814 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 1: less risky because you may find out, Wow, this person 815 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,080 Speaker 1: is available to me in a way that I didn't 816 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:47,759 Speaker 1: know or or didn't fully accept or embrace. And and 817 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 1: maybe you find out like, Okay, this kind of stuff 818 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 1: isn't totally safe with this person, right. I have a 819 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:59,480 Speaker 1: clinical uh term, it's called that person sucks. That's what 820 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:05,160 Speaker 1: we call it. Um Dr Hilary, Where can people find you? 821 00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,239 Speaker 1: I love your mission? I just absolutely love it. I'd 822 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:08,680 Speaker 1: love to have you come in studio one day and 823 00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,440 Speaker 1: talk to us because, UM, I have people in my 824 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,799 Speaker 1: family who go through and close friends who go through depression, 825 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 1: UM anxiety, people that are dealing with trauma and grief. 826 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,360 Speaker 1: We all are at some degree of time and it 827 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,839 Speaker 1: comes in ebbs and flows and cycles, and sometimes things 828 00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,840 Speaker 1: come up. I'm actually dealing with working through hockey, working 829 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,319 Speaker 1: through retiring from hockey. It's something that I want to 830 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:33,280 Speaker 1: do in and I'm unpacking. I'm currently on a journey 831 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:37,400 Speaker 1: unpacking the traumas and griefs and resentments and frustrations and 832 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: failures and all of this stuff that I'm carrying from 833 00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,560 Speaker 1: my career in a sport that I don't want to 834 00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,200 Speaker 1: carry with me anymore moving into my life. So um, 835 00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,879 Speaker 1: I would love to even personally, even just sit down 836 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,719 Speaker 1: with you, but have you in studio, so many more 837 00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:55,359 Speaker 1: people can benefit. But right now, before we do that, 838 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,719 Speaker 1: where could people find you that are listening right now? Yes, well, 839 00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:03,400 Speaker 1: you and you're listener can find me at Dr Hillary 840 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,400 Speaker 1: fold Sure dot com and it's two L s h 841 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,200 Speaker 1: I L l A R Y g O L D 842 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,759 Speaker 1: s h e er dot com and we'll have these 843 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:17,080 Speaker 1: in the show notes. Yeah, that's it. Thank you so much. Thanks, 844 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,960 Speaker 1: I'd love to come in and talk more about yeah. Please, Yeah, 845 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,160 Speaker 1: we'll have to make that happen for sure. Okay, thank you, 846 00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: Dr Hillary, appreciate your time so much. Thank you very much. 847 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,480 Speaker 1: You've you've been so helpful to myself and and to 848 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:30,239 Speaker 1: our listeners and gav you never need to help your 849 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:34,680 Speaker 1: perfect buddy. But You're perfect Brooks. Thank you, Dr Hillary. 850 00:46:34,719 --> 00:46:46,200 Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Thanks Doc, Buddy, we crushed out again. 851 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,279 Speaker 1: I think it was out of the park. Man. We're 852 00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:53,040 Speaker 1: on a rocket ship here in absolutely one weekend we're killing. 853 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 1: One weekend we're taking. We are taking how men think 854 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,360 Speaker 1: to be the best podcast on the air. That's what 855 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,719 Speaker 1: we want. Our goal. We just want to serve as 856 00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:04,400 Speaker 1: many people as we can. That's that's really the mission 857 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,040 Speaker 1: of it. So keep adding, keep adding value to people's lives. 858 00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,960 Speaker 1: They'll keep listening and they'll share it with their friends 859 00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,840 Speaker 1: as many friends as they have. Better you better. Um. 860 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:18,440 Speaker 1: We have more topics that we didn't get to today. 861 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:21,240 Speaker 1: We didn't have enough time to um. But there's marriage 862 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,399 Speaker 1: and anxiety, there's career. These are all topics you guys 863 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 1: sent to us. Career finances, read a book, financial freedom, 864 00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:32,040 Speaker 1: self care, diet less, multitasking, patients, being present, increasing income, 865 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:36,399 Speaker 1: communication with husband, so many more topics. So laundry list 866 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,399 Speaker 1: that the only thing we didn't mention was laundry. Laundry. Yeah, 867 00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 1: basically we need to work on our laundry. Um. You 868 00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,440 Speaker 1: probably just buy new clothes, you don't even launder them sometimes. 869 00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 1: But these these were gonna keep this list. We're going 870 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,040 Speaker 1: to dive into some of these topics in future episodes. 871 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,560 Speaker 1: Um and as always, guys, we've always said this, this 872 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 1: podcast is a vessel here, a vessel of service to 873 00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:02,080 Speaker 1: serve you guys. So keep sending us your emails, your topics, 874 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:05,319 Speaker 1: your thoughts, your questions men at i heeart radio dot 875 00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:09,720 Speaker 1: com and how Men Think podcast on Instagram, and Gavin 876 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,799 Speaker 1: personally responds to all of them. It's just because, Um, 877 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,320 Speaker 1: the typing thing is something I enjoyed doing so much 878 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: on the keyboard, you know how, like last week you 879 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000 Speaker 1: said the piano. Last week you said, like one of 880 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 1: the things you want to be best better at is 881 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:28,160 Speaker 1: like finishing things you start, like emails, like emails, sponding email, 882 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,680 Speaker 1: when people send messages to How Men think, You're gonna 883 00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:35,560 Speaker 1: answer them all. If you ever get something a reply 884 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:39,040 Speaker 1: back that you don't like, it was Brooks, oh dang. 885 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:44,200 Speaker 1: And if you do like it, it was you. Yes, yeah, buddy, buddy, 886 00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 1: I'm excited we're rolling in. I love this. I love 887 00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,759 Speaker 1: I just love the turn of the calendar, the new year, 888 00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,920 Speaker 1: the new decade, and I love seeing your face every day. 889 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,440 Speaker 1: That's it for this week. Man until next week. Everybody, 890 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,040 Speaker 1: take care of one another, love one another, and we'll 891 00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,000 Speaker 1: see you back here for another episode of How Men Think. Goodbye,