Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 1: talks back. What's up y'all? Thank you for tuning in
Speaker 1: for a new episode and we talk back. It's your
Speaker 1: co host, a j Holiday What Up show dedicated to
Speaker 1: you niggas and knees, not the y Hey, y'all, it's
Speaker 1: me Tim Bam. I love y'all again, man, Thank you
Speaker 1: all for coming back with me with y'all A long way.
Speaker 1: You sound like, how you ship? Girl? Shut up? How
Speaker 1: you know how that ship? I heard you three minutes
Speaker 1: you went away. I heard that ship. You hear nothing.
Speaker 1: I war to God, mind your business. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: I heard that ship, and I meant to mention it literally. Look,
Speaker 1: but what I was about to say is shout out
Speaker 1: to the girl in the allens on page talking about
Speaker 1: how only Tammy love y'all, so like y'all needy motherfucker's
Speaker 1: y'all need everybody love y'all, Like, just be happy that
Speaker 1: somebody do. I love y'all. I really love y'all, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate when y'all come back to my comments telling
Speaker 1: me y'all love me too. I like that energy. Keep
Speaker 1: sending it. I'm sending it to y'all. Y'all sitting back
Speaker 1: to me. Okay, don't worry about ain't gotta love y'all, y'all.
Speaker 1: I can do it for everybody. I love y'all for everybody, okay, Right.
Speaker 1: I have a lot of gratitude, okay, and appreciation for people.
Speaker 1: So if I could say anything, that's what it would be.
Speaker 1: But people you love tend to disappoint you. I ain't
Speaker 1: playing with people like that. I don't even like humans real.
Speaker 1: I love y'all, I love all y'all. What's up, y'all?
Speaker 1: I had a time last night. At a time last night,
Speaker 1: I went, I went outside. I started at this place
Speaker 1: calling Fuse and Charlotte if you'll come to Charlotte us
Speaker 1: the places y'all need to pop into. I started at
Speaker 1: Infused and then I went to Stats. Sunday night on
Speaker 1: Stats is always a vibe. And then at the that's
Speaker 1: closed so or it closes at twelve o'clock on Sunday,
Speaker 1: which is weird to me because it's their biggest night.
Speaker 1: They probably should stay up until too so they could
Speaker 1: keep getting that money. But right, I'm not the boss,
Speaker 1: so they closed at twelve o'clock. And then after that
Speaker 1: everybody goes to cloud and stay there until to something.
Speaker 1: And I did all of that. I was getting my
Speaker 1: Bernie's Burgo song because you know, I'm old. I was
Speaker 1: out with all these little young hoes drinking with that
Speaker 1: young ass. Now I was hurting this morning bad. I
Speaker 1: went to my meeting this morning, y'all like, hello, good
Speaker 1: morning everybody. I'm sorry, I'm like I told Taylor asked
Speaker 1: he was gonna get on the micro side and like
Speaker 1: that set like Martin Lords moring to you, like to
Speaker 1: go out every Sunday night because that's the only day. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's my only day and the whole week to like
Speaker 1: do what I want the rest of the day is
Speaker 1: I gotta be a responsible adult. But I ain't been
Speaker 1: going outside that much like I've been in the house
Speaker 1: on Sunday. So I just came out yesterday. I'm going
Speaker 1: out to night too. Though I didn't do much this weekend. Um.
Speaker 1: I went by one of my older cousins houses to
Speaker 1: try to get here to damn Altar addressed for me,
Speaker 1: and I found out some very interesting things about my family.
Speaker 1: Just havn't you know, because family is really important. I
Speaker 1: don't know if people realize that or not, and then
Speaker 1: understanding your lineage and ship like that. She had like
Speaker 1: tape recordings of elders in the family, Like I'm listening
Speaker 1: to tapes. That's dope. I was so excited about that ship,
Speaker 1: like that's the type of ship I'm into. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that too. So now I'm ready to go
Speaker 1: to this area Summrton, South Carolina. That's where my dad
Speaker 1: family from. It's on the on the river Indians. Okay,
Speaker 1: but it's a whole like they our last name is
Speaker 1: a street down there. Land. I want to go a
Speaker 1: whole cemetery with all our people in Like, yes, I'm
Speaker 1: going to go on the future, you should do it.
Speaker 1: And also yeah, come, come come, because earlier this year,
Speaker 1: like I had a whole list of different places I
Speaker 1: wanted to visit. One of the places no longer on
Speaker 1: the list the Georgia guidestones because themi got blown up
Speaker 1: during the summer. But y'all know we have like mounds
Speaker 1: and pyramids all around the United States, and Somerton has
Speaker 1: multiple mounds because you know, we mound builders, like the
Speaker 1: people from the Low Country area. So yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to go see all that ship so that was exciting
Speaker 1: for me. Okay, yeah, that that sounds very exciting. I
Speaker 1: like like that. Um My, my descendants of my family
Speaker 1: are some you know, the white folks because my grandmother
Speaker 1: was mixed raised and my great grandmother didn't have any
Speaker 1: black but she was the product of like a rape honestly. Um.
Speaker 1: But the white descendants of my family have They still
Speaker 1: have the plantation house that they live on. It's something
Speaker 1: to South Carolina, and I really want to go down
Speaker 1: there and talk about reparations because why is the descendants
Speaker 1: of their family they live in their house. I'm descended
Speaker 1: to this family. Where is my forty because in them, right, girl,
Speaker 1: it's probably down there. They probably don't want you like
Speaker 1: my Like my older cousin. She started telling me, like
Speaker 1: how the family that's in because summer tens near Sumter,
Speaker 1: that's like Santine all that. Um. She was saying how
Speaker 1: they don't like the family from Charleston to come because
Speaker 1: it airs property down. They don't want people snooping, They
Speaker 1: don't want to answer no questions. Man and that ship
Speaker 1: because they still living on the land. But it's three
Speaker 1: brothers that split this land amongst each other and only
Speaker 1: their descendants. You know what I'm saying for one of
Speaker 1: their brothers, right families, But I wouldn't want anything from them.
Speaker 1: I just want to What I would like is to
Speaker 1: be able to establish myself as a nation. But you
Speaker 1: can't do that by yourself. So I need family, Like
Speaker 1: that's why family is important. So we want to get
Speaker 1: anything from this government. We may not get the actual
Speaker 1: land that they owe us, but they gotta comp and
Speaker 1: sate us or the mule which I want, the motherfucking money.
Speaker 1: I want whole life insuring. I know what I want
Speaker 1: for reparations. I don't know what y'all niggas, but I
Speaker 1: know what I want my When when I was young,
Speaker 1: my younger, when my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mother worked for
Speaker 1: South Carolina Archives in history, and I used to she
Speaker 1: used to let me read, like if you go there,
Speaker 1: you can read like slavery accounts in different like stories
Speaker 1: from like you know, slavery from black people who are
Speaker 1: living post slavery. I don't know about slavery stories, but
Speaker 1: like really, oh ship, you can go read it true
Speaker 1: stories of black people. Yeah, So South contin So Charleston
Speaker 1: Archives are at the library here and they have Charleston
Speaker 1: has the best records, but you have to go and
Speaker 1: do the research. But they have all that ship at
Speaker 1: the State Archives. I believe it Charleston. That is one
Speaker 1: of the oldest cities in this country, you know, m Charlestown.
Speaker 1: So people don't go check this stuff out and you
Speaker 1: you you will find like places like North Carolina, Tennessee
Speaker 1: where they burned down archive places because they don't want
Speaker 1: you to find that history out. So if you got
Speaker 1: access to that ship even just you know, they have
Speaker 1: uploaded some stuff online. I think it's um I'll get
Speaker 1: the website and tell y'all next week. I can't remember,
Speaker 1: but they have some of the stuff that's like online records.
Speaker 1: You can you can try to start, you know, researching
Speaker 1: your lineage aside from um ancestry dot com. Like that's
Speaker 1: some bullshit. Yeah, I don't even trust that ship because
Speaker 1: I saw where somebody sitting their pet iguana's DNA like
Speaker 1: and it came back like the Guanaco. Listen those websites
Speaker 1: in the terms of conditions, it tells you for entertainment
Speaker 1: purposes only, like how can you send your blood and
Speaker 1: then find out what ethnic group in Africa they gonna
Speaker 1: tie you back to those people like you would have
Speaker 1: to have my ancestors DNA to do that. This ship
Speaker 1: is for entertainment purposes. The only way you can't really
Speaker 1: get your true lineage is to talk to the elders
Speaker 1: in your family if they still around. That's about it.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, all right, let's get into dumb internet news.
Speaker 1: What happened girl girl girls? So now I don't know
Speaker 1: if we're gonna play this on EBT or p p P,
Speaker 1: but the motherucking crab legs not disappeared from the Atlantic Ocean,
Speaker 1: not just the legs, the whole crab is gone. It's
Speaker 1: not just right, that's funny itself. The snow crabs have
Speaker 1: disappeared for the waters around Atlanska. Scientists say over fishing
Speaker 1: is not the cause. So what do you think, Uh,
Speaker 1: this could be caused by I'm assuming like global warming
Speaker 1: is killing everything off. But y'all niggas ain't gonna have
Speaker 1: no snow crab legs this football season. Y'all gonna have
Speaker 1: to eat your chicken wings. Shame. So do you want
Speaker 1: to hear my theory on what's happening? Aside from the obvious?
Speaker 1: When things like like when we start seeing like different
Speaker 1: animals and species of insects, animals, and she's like that
Speaker 1: start disappearing. We next. That's how I see it. But
Speaker 1: a lot of times is human manipulation, you know, because
Speaker 1: we can go in next when they talk about got
Speaker 1: the shoulders on butter, So now you gotta shoulder dr
Speaker 1: crab legs and fucking butter right now. The whole meal missing.
Speaker 1: The whole meal is missing, you guys. Like, And I
Speaker 1: always be telling people I'm a whole mermaid, Like as
Speaker 1: much as I try to eat this straight plant based like, man,
Speaker 1: I cannot not eat seafood, okay, but there's a couple
Speaker 1: of things that happened this year, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if people follow this stuff. Mermaids eat fish though, because
Speaker 1: I feel like that would be cannibalism, right, girls, shut
Speaker 1: up all right, Like, as if other animals don't eat
Speaker 1: other animals in the sea, what the hell are we
Speaker 1: talking about cannibals? That's cannibalism. That is non cannibalism. You're
Speaker 1: not eating the same species, You're not. You don't have
Speaker 1: mermaids eating mermaids how you know they don't eat each other?
Speaker 1: You know? You see the mermaids not Yeah, just like
Speaker 1: humans be eating each other, right, they do both ways.
Speaker 1: But okay, so look a few things happened this year
Speaker 1: aside from Russia going to Ward Ukraine. Right, So I
Speaker 1: want to say, like maybe in March um Um one
Speaker 1: of the top Russian lawmakers, like real close to putin
Speaker 1: one of his aids he basically said they want Alaska back. Right.
Speaker 1: I think like maybe in the eighteen hundreds or some time,
Speaker 1: America purchased Alaska from Russia for like some millions, like
Speaker 1: seven million dollars at that time or something like that.
Speaker 1: Now Russia wants Alaska back. That's one thing, right. The
Speaker 1: other thing is is that I don't know if y'all
Speaker 1: believe in this type of stuff, but this is eh
Speaker 1: J's conspiracy. Okay, we all knew where it was going. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that none of this is a conspiracy because it's all factual. Ship.
Speaker 1: I'm just laying out another perspective on how to look
Speaker 1: at why the crab legs are disappearing from Alaska, the crabs,
Speaker 1: not just the names the crabs. Why the crabs are disappearing,
Speaker 1: Why the snow crab legs disappearing? Just legs in the
Speaker 1: seat girl that is wild. Okay, Okay, so Russia wants
Speaker 1: Alaska back. I don't know if y'all study like ancient
Speaker 1: civilizations and stuff like that, like the an anarchy all that,
Speaker 1: Like they say, these people still exist in an Antarctic,
Speaker 1: which is like right above Alaska. Um. Another thing that
Speaker 1: happened this year was that Russia hosted war games with China,
Speaker 1: so you know, China is kind of like complicit with
Speaker 1: how Russia is handling Um, Ukraine and stuff like right
Speaker 1: there on the same team essentially. So I want to
Speaker 1: say me be in August and September, they had war
Speaker 1: games in Alaska on the in Alaska and those waters,
Speaker 1: So what we are dropping nuclear missiles and stuff, what
Speaker 1: we are doing in the water, And that could explain
Speaker 1: why the species because they say snow crabs are like
Speaker 1: the most abundant. It's like billions. The crustaceans are just
Speaker 1: not there exactly, so they're in abundance. So it's not
Speaker 1: like you can over fish them, so they're not dying
Speaker 1: from being over fished. It's something else that's happening in
Speaker 1: that water. It could be Alaska being contaminated by Russia.
Speaker 1: Who knows, but I think it's human manipulation, is what
Speaker 1: we're experiencing right now. It could be all right, this
Speaker 1: is a conspiracy theory of my own. It could be
Speaker 1: a portal to different dimensions under the water. And one
Speaker 1: of the motherfucker's slipped down in it and they cooked
Speaker 1: it over there, and it was like, oh, this ship
Speaker 1: tastes good. It's fishing, and they sucked all of them
Speaker 1: today's side and said, y'all, y'all can't handle crab legs.
Speaker 1: I mean, I believe there is a portal in Antarctica.
Speaker 1: I believe that, So that could be they could be
Speaker 1: getting the funk on through because they know something about
Speaker 1: to happen on this realm. Y'all forgot that. Cern did
Speaker 1: this damn hydro collider earlier this year where they try
Speaker 1: to pierce a hole in the universe to create black matter,
Speaker 1: dark dark matter, all these different things that transpired this year.
Speaker 1: You gotta take into consideration when we start seeing ship
Speaker 1: we've never seen before. But yeah, that's scary, y'all if
Speaker 1: you think about it's kind of scary, like billions of
Speaker 1: crustaceans are just missing billions. That's crazy, Like where did
Speaker 1: they go? Right? Or it could be something simple like
Speaker 1: them trying to hike the price up on snow crabs
Speaker 1: because they know bitches be buying it on E B
Speaker 1: T Right. I don't know the snow crab girls just
Speaker 1: stop sucking like they boycotting they niggas and they're like,
Speaker 1: we're not fucking making no more billions. God dange, have
Speaker 1: you been following what's been going on with Tasha K
Speaker 1: and Cardi B at all? Um not really tell me
Speaker 1: what happened. So you know, Cardi B sued Tasha K
Speaker 1: this year the laws who actually started in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: I believe. But she sued Tasha k Um in a
Speaker 1: defamation case. So we all know that the UM defense
Speaker 1: against um defamation or slander is the truth, right. So
Speaker 1: Tasha K wasn't able to prove that what she was
Speaker 1: saying about Cardi B was true, so the course of
Speaker 1: waterhor her four million dollars. So Cardi B right now
Speaker 1: is using the courts to take that bitch house all
Speaker 1: types of ship, like she wants her coins from Tasha K.
Speaker 1: And you got a lot of people who me personally,
Speaker 1: I don't like the blog ship. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: The more we build out plat form. We could end
Speaker 1: up one of those people that somebody's prying into our
Speaker 1: private lives to put it on the internet for money.
Speaker 1: Like I know, people say, oh, that comes with celebrity, right,
Speaker 1: It shouldn't, though, you know what I'm saying, Like, I
Speaker 1: literally want to start a blog and I won't tell
Speaker 1: you all the name of it because I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: it one day, but I'm going I would like to
Speaker 1: let blogs see how it feels to have somebody exposed
Speaker 1: that day baby Daddy got a baby on the way
Speaker 1: Christmas Day to the world before you even know that
Speaker 1: is devastating to ruin somebody's day like that, And that's
Speaker 1: the type of ship that they'd be doing. It's really shady.
Speaker 1: Like I unfollow all the different blogs. I haven't followed
Speaker 1: all the blogs during uh goddamn monkey pocks because I
Speaker 1: was tired of seeing that ship on my goddamn timeline.
Speaker 1: Like y'all ain't manifesting that bullshit from my skin. Okay,
Speaker 1: but we've been talking about people. We do talk about
Speaker 1: people ship, but I think it's a difference between spectating
Speaker 1: and giving your opinion on what you see as opposed
Speaker 1: to actually paying keep both for information prying. You got
Speaker 1: somebody's best friend getting four hundred dollars to give a
Speaker 1: video this little Nah. I'm not into that. I'm not
Speaker 1: and we're not on here trying to tear nobody down. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I'm not into like subscribing to a subscription to
Speaker 1: get fucking people other people business that. It is weird
Speaker 1: to me. I don't like that industry. You shouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to say and do what you want to do
Speaker 1: to people like exactly. There should be uh repercussions for
Speaker 1: doing and saying ship That's all I'm saying, But not
Speaker 1: to Kanye. I don't want to go there in their
Speaker 1: mind never mind, never mind. No, yeah, you want to
Speaker 1: go there, but I don't do. No, let's go down
Speaker 1: for two seconds. Forgive me for saying that I don't
Speaker 1: want What did he say, though? Tell me what did
Speaker 1: he say? It's just the fit all comments that kind
Speaker 1: of It wasn't the knee. It was a fitting al.
Speaker 1: But I went to look at all the reports and
Speaker 1: it shows that it was a lack of oxygen that
Speaker 1: killed him. It wasn't the fitting al. Okay, So in
Speaker 1: that particular thing, okay, the thing with Kanye even saying
Speaker 1: that they did report he had fitting all in this system.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that the police gave him fitting off.
Speaker 1: But it was definitely not just that need to the neck.
Speaker 1: That's why I was confused why those other cops didn't
Speaker 1: get the same amount of time, because it's the pressure
Speaker 1: of all three of those grown men on top of
Speaker 1: that one man. Yeah, that caused something to not breathe exactly, asphyxiation,
Speaker 1: which is what the cause of death was. So yeah,
Speaker 1: and what else you don't agree with? That was just
Speaker 1: my It was just my biggest thing that when he
Speaker 1: went there was like, come on, Kanye is you know
Speaker 1: it's a very very sense of the topic and you know,
Speaker 1: just to say things like that, and with the type
Speaker 1: of platform here, it's just kind of like, yeah, come on.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you mentioned in in in regards to with
Speaker 1: Tasha k and what's going on with Cardi B. Let's
Speaker 1: stay on topic. Then yeah, you should. Like I said
Speaker 1: before when I first started talking about them, the cure,
Speaker 1: the remedy for uh slander case for defamation, a character
Speaker 1: case is always going to be the truth. So you
Speaker 1: have to prove what you said, what you wrote, what's true,
Speaker 1: Tasha K wasn't able to do that, and I don't
Speaker 1: feel like you should just be able to say and
Speaker 1: do what you want to do to people in America
Speaker 1: like that ship should not come with celebrity. It shouldn't.
Speaker 1: She was saying like, oh, she got herpes or baby
Speaker 1: gonna be slow, all kind of weird things tashak And
Speaker 1: then she hasn't She hasn't digressed either. She's stole online
Speaker 1: making like means like I just I just withdraw my
Speaker 1: last thousand dollars. I ain't got no money. So it's
Speaker 1: just like, I feel like Cardie could be really want
Speaker 1: to fight her, and because I can't physically put my
Speaker 1: hand on you, like this is the next next best thing,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just destroy your whole existence. And some people
Speaker 1: may see that as evil, but I believe what Tasha
Speaker 1: K did to Cardi B as evil. We already know
Speaker 1: Cardi B as the type of person who she can't
Speaker 1: take criticism from one right, and again that should not
Speaker 1: come with mean comments, people waking up just to be
Speaker 1: meaning you shouldn't come with being a celebrity. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And that's what happens. And then talking
Speaker 1: about our people, kids and ship like that. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: just not one tashak, because one tashak spreading that type
Speaker 1: of rhetoric multiplies into you know, twenty thousand tashaks and
Speaker 1: her comments, and that does affect people. People have said
Speaker 1: mean things to me and my comments nine as big
Speaker 1: as I'm not a star like celebrity, and that should
Speaker 1: affects you, even though you may say it doesn't, it does.
Speaker 1: So it does mean. I think my skin has gotten
Speaker 1: a little more thicker over the um years, just because
Speaker 1: it's just been talking about about me my whole life exactly.
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I remember when I was like
Speaker 1: little I was. I wouldn't even high school yet, and
Speaker 1: I was a whole I ain't even fucking how am
Speaker 1: I home? Not home? I'm not even fucking yet. Like
Speaker 1: it was in your aura, even then, I had a horror.
Speaker 1: That's exactly what it was. They saw that ship coming. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, so look the last thing I saw was
Speaker 1: this little boy white Kao Cireus. He's tripping out. He's
Speaker 1: driving on the highway in Hollywood. I'm assuming because he
Speaker 1: says anybody could come to Beverly Hill Center and rob him, right, now,
Speaker 1: and that's where I'm at. Nigga. First of all, anybody
Speaker 1: coming to Beverly Hill Center to do anything to you
Speaker 1: in broad daylight? Okay, off, maybe brascos, but not the
Speaker 1: Beverly Center. That was a hard joke. But rest in peace.
Speaker 1: What's his name? PNB? Yeah? PNB Rock so um. Apparently
Speaker 1: he's having some type of breakdown because it sounds like
Speaker 1: his voice is treamling like he was crying. He was saying,
Speaker 1: how little baby don't sunk with him no more? He
Speaker 1: hasn't spoken to Drake, Drake hasn't funked with him no more.
Speaker 1: And he was like, I should just die, you know,
Speaker 1: I could just die now, Like do nobody in the
Speaker 1: industry funk with me? You know? To me, this sounds
Speaker 1: like he's running out of money. M hmm, that's what
Speaker 1: it sounds like to me. Yeah, one good hit. Yeah.
Speaker 1: My thing thing is why y'all want to die about
Speaker 1: being poor? I've been poor before. If I get poor again,
Speaker 1: I'm still want to be here. I could survive. I've
Speaker 1: been happy poor, you know. Yes, let me tell you.
Speaker 1: Whenever you feel like that and you feel like you
Speaker 1: know there's nothing left, you always got yourself. I've always
Speaker 1: got me because I funk with me, and that's the
Speaker 1: most priceless thing you got. All that you don't hold
Speaker 1: the same value as yourself. Yeah, you know how I
Speaker 1: feel about suicide. Like, if you're gonna do it, and
Speaker 1: do it, don't be publicizing it. It's really abusive. It's
Speaker 1: abusive to the public. It's abusive to people who love you.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure your mom's seeing that. Like, people who
Speaker 1: close to you, who actually have a relationship with you
Speaker 1: and love you, don't want to see you saying ship
Speaker 1: like that just because a couple of niggas in the
Speaker 1: industry don't sunk with you. Um, the side of this thing,
Speaker 1: you know. Recently, they was talking laughing at him, asked,
Speaker 1: I guess it was a rumor that he was working
Speaker 1: with Ditty or some crazy ship like that. At some
Speaker 1: point they asked him about it on the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1: I had talked something like in my mind, now I'm
Speaker 1: looking at you, like, did you do some ship you
Speaker 1: regret and now they didn't deliver on the things that
Speaker 1: were offered to you for doing those things? Did you
Speaker 1: beend the knee? What happened right? What happened? No? Matter
Speaker 1: what happened, it's still ain't worth dying about, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't know what death looks like,
Speaker 1: so I don't know what's on the other side. It
Speaker 1: might be I don't know what. Yeah, it might be
Speaker 1: lit on the other side. So I mean, if you
Speaker 1: want to go, go, but send us an email. That
Speaker 1: can't send email for you? Why we get ghosts emails
Speaker 1: all the time? What like spam? What the fucking schools
Speaker 1: sending these emails? They ain't dead people, We don't pis.
Speaker 1: I promise you I ain't got an email from a
Speaker 1: dead motherfucker. Get I promise you I had. You don't know.
Speaker 1: It might be in your junk box, it might be
Speaker 1: in your spam box. You know. No, I know I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much sure. But you know, all right, Because
Speaker 1: people swear we joke about everything, suicide is not a joke.
Speaker 1: Suicide is very serious. It's a very real issue, and
Speaker 1: I think it's become a greater issue in our country
Speaker 1: then it used to be. Yes, people are, people are
Speaker 1: stressed out, people are going through changes, and really only
Speaker 1: a strong gonna survive. But if you don't want to survive,
Speaker 1: you know you have we have to want to survive,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Um, it's just a tough
Speaker 1: time for everybody. And there's a couple of things that
Speaker 1: I can name that may play a part in what
Speaker 1: people are experiencing. But it's one thing I always think
Speaker 1: about when people say, you know, one thing I think
Speaker 1: about when people do abruptly commit suicide and nobody knew
Speaker 1: that they were suicidal. Like that young girl, um who
Speaker 1: committed suicide last last month. I forgot her name though.
Speaker 1: She was like one of these rappings fitness, young lady, beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so she took her life, and I feel like, this
Speaker 1: is just my spiritality, spirituality kicking in right. It's almost
Speaker 1: like people who do commit suicide, it's something in that
Speaker 1: moment that they realized that there saying that they don't like.
Speaker 1: She said that she was like she never felt like
Speaker 1: she belonged here. It's like that's just what her her
Speaker 1: her soul or her spirit came to experience and she
Speaker 1: was ready to go. I feel like you should be
Speaker 1: able to have control of your own life in that
Speaker 1: way if you don't want to be here anymore. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I just I look at suicide different nowadays. I
Speaker 1: used to think about it differently, but yeah, I just
Speaker 1: look at suicide different nowadays. Um, there was this woman
Speaker 1: and I saw like there was a documentary about it,
Speaker 1: but I can't think of the name at the moment.
Speaker 1: But she was the mother of two white males who
Speaker 1: had like this illness that gave them zero quality of life.
Speaker 1: And she took care of them, you know. But she
Speaker 1: was getting old and she was about to die, and
Speaker 1: she knew that nobody was gonna take care of her
Speaker 1: sons the way she would take care of him, so
Speaker 1: she killed him. She killed both of them, and she
Speaker 1: called it a mercy killing. Yeah, And I feel like
Speaker 1: hospitals do that all time, just take people out. I
Speaker 1: feel like they do do that. And I and I
Speaker 1: and I was I was torn, like, you like, how
Speaker 1: do you get to decide for them? You know, because
Speaker 1: they can't there They were non verbal, they weren't you know,
Speaker 1: they couldn't do much of nothing, but just exists right right. Um,
Speaker 1: So I don't want to be like that me neither.
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever be like that. But a
Speaker 1: part of me is like, you're not God, so you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be able to decide that for them. But you
Speaker 1: are their mother and you're the only one who taking
Speaker 1: care of him. And that's God. This I see. Women
Speaker 1: are the closest thing, if if, if you believe there's
Speaker 1: a higher power and there's like this big thing in
Speaker 1: the sky for you, I feel like on earth, women
Speaker 1: are the closest thing you want to get to to God.
Speaker 1: We literally give life for real, We cultivated and we
Speaker 1: give life. So um, you know. I also feel like
Speaker 1: women are just a portal so we can take it
Speaker 1: away too, tell me that all the time. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: brought you in here, I'll take y'all. But the thing
Speaker 1: is is that you are just a portal, right for
Speaker 1: that other human being, and once they get here, they
Speaker 1: are their own entity. You don't own another human being,
Speaker 1: even your child, right. But in that case, like she,
Speaker 1: they would probably end up somewhere dying miserably anyway, because
Speaker 1: nobody would take care of you like your mama would.
Speaker 1: And that's just the truth. And that was and they
Speaker 1: they put her ass to jail. She died in jail.
Speaker 1: That's where. Yeah, man, that's sad. So was she old?
Speaker 1: She was, yeah, she was getting old, Okay, she was
Speaker 1: getting older. And she's like you know, I don't feel
Speaker 1: well anymore. I feel like my days are numbered and
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave them here like this wouldn't
Speaker 1: about me to take care of them, right, and then
Speaker 1: the state ain't gonna take care of them like that either,
Speaker 1: Like they would have just died in a hospital somewhere,
Speaker 1: died in some type of adult facility. As soon as
Speaker 1: you put your family members in those type of places,
Speaker 1: they end up dying. You know. It becomes like hospice
Speaker 1: care in a short period of time, maybe up out
Speaker 1: of here. M So, I feel like the hospitals do it,
Speaker 1: but they like to play god. Yeah, it's okay for
Speaker 1: them to play god because they don't took the oath.
Speaker 1: They got all of hundred thousand dollars and student loans
Speaker 1: and all his bullshits, and now you get to play god.
Speaker 1: I don't like that crazy world, I know, right, but listen, y'all, Okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break right quick, and when we
Speaker 1: come back, we want to get into the strong black
Speaker 1: woman thrope. What y'all think about that thrope? Not your throat.
Speaker 1: We know y'all got strong throats. We're talking about the throat.
Speaker 1: We'll be back all right, y'all, So we are two
Speaker 1: black women, right, Okay. I believe the majority of our
Speaker 1: listeners are black women, And um, what I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about is like the the strong black woman saying misconception. Um.
Speaker 1: I read this article and I'm just gonna read the
Speaker 1: the just the first little paragraph because it kind of
Speaker 1: explains what I want to talk about. So it's so
Speaker 1: it says the stereotype of the strong black woman is
Speaker 1: more than just a cultural throat. Many black women in
Speaker 1: America report feeling pressured to act like superwoman, projecting themselves
Speaker 1: as strong, self sacrificing and free of emotion to cope
Speaker 1: with stress of race and gender based discrimination in their
Speaker 1: daily lives. That's our motherfucking wait to carry forever in America.
Speaker 1: I think that's you know, it is a stereotype, but
Speaker 1: it has it's something that's been passed down to us
Speaker 1: from slavery. We've had to be the strong black woman.
Speaker 1: We've had like they would take our our male counterpart
Speaker 1: and beat them, tie one side of his body, like
Speaker 1: his legs to a horse, and tie his hands to
Speaker 1: another horse, and then beat both horses until a rip
Speaker 1: the nigga apart in front of you. You know, we
Speaker 1: had to like see these things and feel like, Okay,
Speaker 1: we may not have our male counterpart to take care
Speaker 1: of us, so we have to be strong for ourselves
Speaker 1: and for our children. And I think that ideology has
Speaker 1: been passed down after generation the generation of generation, and
Speaker 1: then it almost became like a badge of honor, like
Speaker 1: I'm the strong, proud Black woman, but I'm over that ship. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, we can go back to slavery, but a
Speaker 1: lot of people and like as you may take it,
Speaker 1: that's a black holocaust, and that's still happening today. Right.
Speaker 1: The thing is that those same things all will happen
Speaker 1: two women. Um, those same things also happened to other
Speaker 1: ethnic groups of women, other races of women. But you
Speaker 1: don't hear Indian women going around saying I'm a strong
Speaker 1: Indian woman, or Asian saying I'm a strong Chinese woman.
Speaker 1: So what is the thing about black culture where you know,
Speaker 1: that's like a self proclaimed title that we've taken on
Speaker 1: and it has hurt, It has hurt and harmed us
Speaker 1: um and kind of motivated us at the same time, right,
Speaker 1: because now we're looking for um, good relationships with our
Speaker 1: men and that strong black woman thing comes in and
Speaker 1: it's a problem mm hmm uh in the hospital setting
Speaker 1: when you know, given birth, we don't get the same
Speaker 1: type of medical care, same type of pain medicine, because
Speaker 1: we are supposedly these wrong that can take all this pain.
Speaker 1: Like the whole O B G. Y in system was
Speaker 1: built off of experiments that these white doctors were doing
Speaker 1: on black women when no anesthesia. M Like, it's a
Speaker 1: real thing, not a conspiracy. These things happen. So now
Speaker 1: we've just been carrying this, this this false badge of honor,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't help us in our day to day
Speaker 1: lives at this point. I agree, you know, so we've
Speaker 1: had to be strong. I feel like black men also
Speaker 1: have had to be strong, but they can't say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm a strong black man. We would probably look at
Speaker 1: them like, you know what I'm saying. So why is
Speaker 1: it I want my say here strong? Because then we
Speaker 1: start comparing their struggle to ours as women. No, because
Speaker 1: I didn't. I can see that because I'm I'm living
Speaker 1: a soft life over here. Let's talk about it. In
Speaker 1: order for black women to be able to live a
Speaker 1: soft life, right that that that the dynamics within our
Speaker 1: relationships with black men. Well, then have to change because again,
Speaker 1: the way black women are it's a trauma response. It's
Speaker 1: not how we want to be. But maybe we can
Speaker 1: start living our soft life before the men come into it,
Speaker 1: so then they can see our life is a soft
Speaker 1: life and you need to be like the strong black
Speaker 1: man that we need. So I found a list of
Speaker 1: things to help you live a soft life, lady. First
Speaker 1: thing is to schedule me time to be nurturing to yourself,
Speaker 1: to help restore your energy so you're not running on
Speaker 1: empty all the time, because a lot of us are
Speaker 1: always on e so you need to date. Start setting
Speaker 1: dates with yourself. Schedule me time, whatever that looks like.
Speaker 1: To get away from your kids, even to just be
Speaker 1: sitting still in peace is me time, So schedule me time.
Speaker 1: That's number one. Number two, cultivate new belief about rest.
Speaker 1: It says if you tie yourself worth to how productive
Speaker 1: you can be, uh you grow an environment where you're
Speaker 1: called lazy, or if you grew up in an environment
Speaker 1: where you're called lazy for relaxing, you may feel guilty
Speaker 1: when you aren't busy. Rest shouldn't be a response or
Speaker 1: reward for overworking. Yourself, make time for rest, Ladies, prioritize rest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree with that. Um, oftentimes Black women we get
Speaker 1: into relationships where we're having to always build with somebody else. Right,
Speaker 1: not saying that other groups of women don't do this,
Speaker 1: but I like, just I'm just speaking about Black America
Speaker 1: because even like we would say, some African nations don't
Speaker 1: even have to go through this, like the men know
Speaker 1: the roles and women know the role and it works.
Speaker 1: You know. Um, this is just based on our experience
Speaker 1: in America. Oftentimes, you don't really have that much time
Speaker 1: to rest unless you're like really single, single with no kids.
Speaker 1: But if you're in a relationship, especially with an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: they want you to be the secretary. You gotta do
Speaker 1: all these things as still performing in the bedroom, if
Speaker 1: this kid's involved, you still gotta do that too. It's
Speaker 1: like there's really no time to chill out, there's no
Speaker 1: time to relax, but you have to. You have to
Speaker 1: prioritize your rest because I mean, ladies, it starts to
Speaker 1: show up on your face baby when you when you
Speaker 1: look at you, you look at a bit like damn,
Speaker 1: she looked like she had a hard life, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's because we're not prioritizing our rest. And another
Speaker 1: reason is because we're not wearing sunscreen. Y'all start wearing sunscreen,
Speaker 1: black girl. Sunscreen is a thing. It's a product I use,
Speaker 1: and it will help your face. If you don't have
Speaker 1: to struggle, don't Struggling doesn't always make the journey worthwhile
Speaker 1: or the destination meaningful. You don't have to struggle to
Speaker 1: have an empowering, relatable, or inspirational story. We aren't all
Speaker 1: dealt the same cards. So if you're currently have access
Speaker 1: to things that make it easier for you to accomplish
Speaker 1: something or achieve your goal, take it. Don't feel guilty,
Speaker 1: choose easy over hard every time. Okay, let's talk about
Speaker 1: that for a second, because I feel like in the
Speaker 1: black community is almost like if you didn't struggle, you
Speaker 1: and ship, it's like you ain't get that out of
Speaker 1: the mud exactly. I don't like that because everybody's bottom
Speaker 1: is different, Like my bottom is different from yours. My
Speaker 1: bottom might be you know, the damn dirt to somebody else.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Everybody has a bottom, So
Speaker 1: why are we criticizing people who didn't have to struggle, right,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And for whatever reason, in
Speaker 1: in the black community, black women are supposed to struggle
Speaker 1: in relationships. We're supposed to have struggle love we have,
Speaker 1: We're supposed to have grown up struggling, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, in order for people to respect our hustle
Speaker 1: or respect who we are now as a person, Like,
Speaker 1: why is that? Why do I have to struggle with
Speaker 1: a man um in order to get the reward of
Speaker 1: just simply just the love, right? Why do I have
Speaker 1: to do that? You don't have to Yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: this this is, That's what this is saying. But we
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, It's almost like niggas test you, Like
Speaker 1: why are you testing me? Either you funk with me
Speaker 1: or you don't. You know what I'm saying, Like, don't
Speaker 1: don't do anything. I saw a post the other day
Speaker 1: and I and I posted it on my story and
Speaker 1: somebody one of my homeboys and boxed me and he
Speaker 1: was like, that's not toxic because in the video it's
Speaker 1: a guy like smiling, like licking his tongue out. He
Speaker 1: was so excited because the bitches on the other side
Speaker 1: of the phone going crazy. The caption was like when
Speaker 1: you when you when you add a girl to make
Speaker 1: your woman mad or something like that, Why are you
Speaker 1: intentionally making me mad? Why do you want to disturb
Speaker 1: a woman's peace in that way? I just think like
Speaker 1: these men are also dealing with their own trauma, and
Speaker 1: they'll be taking this along for the ride. Yes, Because
Speaker 1: the thing is is that if you ask a man
Speaker 1: what he wants from a woman, nine percent of the
Speaker 1: men will say I want peace. But a lot of
Speaker 1: these niggas, excuse me, A lot of these men do
Speaker 1: not know how to facilitate peace, nor do they know
Speaker 1: how to maintain peace. You aren't peace You aren't even peaceful,
Speaker 1: yet you're demanding peace from somebody else when you're the disturbance.
Speaker 1: Imagine that, right, be my piece. You're not even peaceful,
Speaker 1: So I'm supposed to be your piece all while I'm
Speaker 1: losing their head. Yeah, be my piece? Nah? Alright. Number
Speaker 1: four that let people help you. This is a good one, because, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a big one. If you have well intended
Speaker 1: people in your circle of us willing to help you,
Speaker 1: let them help you. God damn, they're hit home. Because
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who don't accept help,
Speaker 1: or afraid to ask for help from people who are willing,
Speaker 1: you know. So that's a big one. Ladies, let people
Speaker 1: help you. Yeah, and that is actually like one of
Speaker 1: my things I work on the most is asking for help.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Because I'm the type of person.
Speaker 1: I am very intuitive, I'm an EmPATH. I can feel
Speaker 1: when somebody need help, so I make it to where
Speaker 1: they don't even have to ask me. I'm offering, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I kind of look for
Speaker 1: that too for people, like just in general conversation on
Speaker 1: me telling you what's going on, whatever I want you
Speaker 1: to offer, especially for men. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: I don't wanna have to come and ask you for ship.
Speaker 1: I feel like you should just already be doing. I'm
Speaker 1: sorry that that may be a thing because there's a
Speaker 1: lot of women who are afraid to ask. Now, I'm
Speaker 1: not afraid to ask a man for nothing. I'm not
Speaker 1: afraid to ask for ship. I don't know how I
Speaker 1: learned that when I learned that, but I would let
Speaker 1: you know what I need very upfront. But that's because
Speaker 1: I'm also generous, you know, So I'm gonna let you
Speaker 1: know what I need because you ain't got no problem.
Speaker 1: Let me know what the funk you need exactly. And
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a big problem for a lot
Speaker 1: of black women. Like if you you have to be
Speaker 1: upfront with, especially in relationships, whatever you want like me,
Speaker 1: Like see say, for instance, you want to sugar dad,
Speaker 1: you want somebody to take care of you. You You need
Speaker 1: to say that ship up front first and foremost, not after.
Speaker 1: You don't gave up your damn couci And now you've
Speaker 1: got all these demands. Now you're trying to figure out
Speaker 1: what are we No, you need to ask for what
Speaker 1: you want. Let people know what you want, what paid
Speaker 1: you on up front? Yeah, because I mean it just sells.
Speaker 1: It sets healthy boundaries for that relationship when you set
Speaker 1: your expectations in the beginning. Right. So that's kind of
Speaker 1: a little bit off topic, a little bit from asking
Speaker 1: for help. But if you're overwhelmed, right, you got people
Speaker 1: around you who love you. Like I know for a fact,
Speaker 1: I don't use my resources like I should. I don't
Speaker 1: because I don't like being disturbed. And this could be
Speaker 1: like one of my little um things. I will help people,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I don't like being disturbed,
Speaker 1: so I don't disturb other people, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I can literally be in the closet dying child
Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna tell anybody I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: figure it out. I know you You know those posts
Speaker 1: that say, um if if your girl say I'll figure
Speaker 1: it out, she's gonna figure that shot out and she
Speaker 1: with you. No more like that's me for real, I'll
Speaker 1: figure it out. Because I don't like the word no.
Speaker 1: I don't like when I do muster up the courage
Speaker 1: to ask somebody about something and maybe acting like they
Speaker 1: can't come through for me. I don't like that. I
Speaker 1: don't like no, they don't bother me. I just asked
Speaker 1: the next motherfucker, you can't do it alright, I need
Speaker 1: a manage and on to the next. It's kind of
Speaker 1: like cold calling. You know, you calling enough people, somebody
Speaker 1: gonna say, not the customer service, a begging cold call
Speaker 1: you motherfucking I ain't mad at nobody, stupid. Number five.
Speaker 1: Speak to yourself kindly. This is one of the ones
Speaker 1: that I have to work on all the time. That
Speaker 1: negative self talk that's in your head is just telling
Speaker 1: you things that aren't right about yourself or aren't good enough,
Speaker 1: and it's in your brain and you have to like
Speaker 1: really get that negative say funk that negative inner voice
Speaker 1: and speak out loud nice things to your self. My
Speaker 1: challenge everybody to stop what they're doing right now, go
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and say something fucking nice to yourself. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's the subconscious mind you gotta work on. And that's
Speaker 1: another thing, daily, daily, on a daily basis, I'm doing
Speaker 1: different practice. This isn't rituals. So I can change my
Speaker 1: subconscious mind. So even even like when I start having
Speaker 1: a negative, negative thought, you know what I picture. I
Speaker 1: picture like a box and I'm putting that thought in
Speaker 1: a fucking box, and I'm trying a motherfucker balloon to
Speaker 1: that box, and I'm letting it float away. I'm letting
Speaker 1: it go and I'm replacing it with a better thought.
Speaker 1: Because the present is all we have. We don't have
Speaker 1: the future anymore. I mean, we don't have the future.
Speaker 1: We don't have the past. Right the present, present, right
Speaker 1: now is all you got. So you have the ability
Speaker 1: to create a better past. You got the ability to
Speaker 1: create a better future, but it happens in the now,
Speaker 1: So when you're sitting there having all these negative thoughts.
Speaker 1: Right now, you're sucking up your past and you're sucking
Speaker 1: up your future. Period. So you gotta let list stuff go,
Speaker 1: Let things go, Let that hurt go. Girl. I told
Speaker 1: you to go to the mirror, is because I know
Speaker 1: you didn't get up. I said, go to the mirror
Speaker 1: and say something nice to your motherfucker's self. Go do
Speaker 1: it like we give other people compliments all day long.
Speaker 1: Give yourself some complex. Bit you're doing a good job.
Speaker 1: Bit you're doing a good job. Period. Whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Whatever you notice something good about yourself, say it out
Speaker 1: loud to yourself. Damn my titties sitting up nice today.
Speaker 1: Damn I'm smart, Damn I'm funny. Is hell? Ain't it
Speaker 1: that brings me the number six? Stop trying to be humble? Yeah,
Speaker 1: trying to be humble this list because in the black
Speaker 1: community it's almost like they you need to be humble.
Speaker 1: Are y'all always trying to humble? Somebody listening? Three and
Speaker 1: beyond being humble? If you the ship, act like it, okay,
Speaker 1: and then and then if you're trying to get to
Speaker 1: be the ship, it starts today again in the now Okay,
Speaker 1: stop being humble, ladies, that's old. Starting today, we're gassing
Speaker 1: ourselves up. Gass yourself up, toot your horn, yes, because
Speaker 1: who else gonna do it? And funny who got a
Speaker 1: problem with it? Exactly because I can recall being in
Speaker 1: relationships where I couldn't depend on my mate to do it.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I had to you gotta
Speaker 1: be your own self starter, You gotta be your own
Speaker 1: chairleader sometimes because in some of these relationships these men
Speaker 1: is almost like they are in competition with you. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like somebody not telling you that
Speaker 1: you're pretty, and when we're looking for that, like we
Speaker 1: can go outside and like thirty other men are telling
Speaker 1: us how beautiful you are. Right, But if that man
Speaker 1: that's in the home with you or the man you're
Speaker 1: with isn't doing that, it's abuse for women. I get
Speaker 1: men who say something like, man, I don't be wanting
Speaker 1: to say that to you because I know you hear
Speaker 1: that ship all day long and that's bullshit. So what
Speaker 1: so yeah, I want to hear it from you too,
Speaker 1: Yo go, yo go. It's that exactly. Never get enough,
Speaker 1: Never get enough. Number seven, focus on what you can control.
Speaker 1: Stop fucking worrying girl. That's my mantra. Yeah. I got
Speaker 1: a tattoo on my middle finger, on my right middle finger,
Speaker 1: and it's apostrophe e M fuck them to all things uncontrollable.
Speaker 1: And I got this tattoo like twenty years old. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I always worry about little things. Big ship, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, damn, fuck it, I just gotta deal with it.
Speaker 1: But it'd be little things that give me a goddamn headache. Man,
Speaker 1: But in a real way, like you really have to
Speaker 1: be like fuck it and control of things that you
Speaker 1: can control. You can't control everything, but what you can't control,
Speaker 1: do that ship? Yeah, because I mean I know me,
Speaker 1: like I'll be on the airplane baby, having a whole
Speaker 1: anxiety attack, Like, Lord, what is the pilot? Do it
Speaker 1: up there? I can't control that. I just have to
Speaker 1: be calm and just know that God got me and
Speaker 1: whatever will be case Iraq Sara, whatever will be will be.
Speaker 1: What I mean, Yeah, it's hard to surrender, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And again this even comes through in relationships,
Speaker 1: surrendering to your partner, surrendering like to a man that
Speaker 1: is capable. It's hard for us because of how a
Speaker 1: lot of us have been raised a strong black woman. Thing, like,
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna stop being a strong black woman
Speaker 1: when you get a strong black man, you might be
Speaker 1: trying to overpower that man. You're gonna run his ass
Speaker 1: away because you can't submit, exactly. But that's hard. That's
Speaker 1: you know, that's a hard thing for me. But just
Speaker 1: because I come from a line of strong black women,
Speaker 1: strong single as black women. Now that I think about it,
Speaker 1: let's be clear, and it's hard to submit because you
Speaker 1: can't you especially when you're you know, you've been running
Speaker 1: your own life successfully and then you gotta here come
Speaker 1: this man and you want trusting with the finances and
Speaker 1: trusting with it. I want to. I want that, but
Speaker 1: I don't want as are usually the woman thing. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Smart men usually give their money
Speaker 1: to of the woman because women are well okay, I
Speaker 1: was about to say, okay, because you do have some
Speaker 1: people who are some women that are just bad with money,
Speaker 1: and collectively black women have more debt, you know, because
Speaker 1: we're getting the student we're getting the student loans and all, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we got the higher education, but we also come into
Speaker 1: relationships and a lot of debt, credit card dat student
Speaker 1: loan debt, tax debt, all that ship. You know, mean,
Speaker 1: while you're marrying a man who didn't go to college.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's a business owner, he's an entrepreneur. He didn't
Speaker 1: come with all that ship, right number eight, Stop trying
Speaker 1: to be the hero. I hope you listening, bitch. It's
Speaker 1: a bit out there that I know for a fact,
Speaker 1: savor who but always save with somebody, always like always
Speaker 1: finding a fixer upper of a person so she can
Speaker 1: just go help their lives. You can't heal and fix
Speaker 1: and rescue everyone, especially if you yourself aren't healed. So
Speaker 1: sometimes you just need to focus your energy or rescue
Speaker 1: with your motherfucking self and stop trying to heal everybody else.
Speaker 1: So I feel like those types of people are necessary helpers, heroes.
Speaker 1: They are necessary. But the problem is that the people
Speaker 1: that they usually attract, our users, you know, they're not
Speaker 1: They're not the guys or the women who are gonna,
Speaker 1: you know, get the help and and stay with him.
Speaker 1: Be don build this man up for the next bitch.
Speaker 1: Me personally, I don't mind passing on a refurbished nigger.
Speaker 1: I don't mind. Okay, if I helped him do something
Speaker 1: and now you know he's a better person for the
Speaker 1: next woman, then so be it. But women, I do
Speaker 1: not suggest you ever building a man. They will resent
Speaker 1: you when they do get on because you know them.
Speaker 1: You know somebody when they're really rich, and you know
Speaker 1: the real person when they really poor, and you know
Speaker 1: ship fucked up right. Usually that's how it works out.
Speaker 1: Like when Koye said, he leaves you asked for a
Speaker 1: white girl, like that's a real thing. M it's a
Speaker 1: real thing because men, men don't like that. He'll then
Speaker 1: go on to another woman who don't even know his
Speaker 1: struggle and do all the things you begged him to do.
Speaker 1: Don't be the hero. Yeah, because a lot of times
Speaker 1: you end up losing yourself and straight away from your
Speaker 1: own trying to help someone else. So find the courage
Speaker 1: to focus on rescuing and keeping yourself. Yeah, it's honey.
Speaker 1: Number nine. Prioritize joy. Indulge in things that make you smile,
Speaker 1: make you feel genuinely happy. Prioritize that into your life.
Speaker 1: Tell me a thing, Tell me a thing that makes
Speaker 1: you happy. Aside for money and family, food, I really
Speaker 1: enjoy food. I enjoy trying new foods. So if you're
Speaker 1: someone who enjoys food, like prioritize going to different a
Speaker 1: different restaurant and maybe even like let's say you can't
Speaker 1: afford a lot, going to try looking at their menu
Speaker 1: and you're finding an advertiser that sounds really good and
Speaker 1: going to try it, right, I'm yelled, queen. One of
Speaker 1: the things that makes me happy, aside from family and
Speaker 1: like money and ship like that are material things, is serving.
Speaker 1: I like to cook and I like to serve people
Speaker 1: to food. And before I even make my plate, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at you to get you to tell me, like
Speaker 1: what's the score? Can I get a thumbs up? Like
Speaker 1: how it tastes? Like how do you enjoy this? Yes,
Speaker 1: that ship makes me fucking happy. I literally used to
Speaker 1: fight one of what one of my exes, girl, because
Speaker 1: I would cook this nigga some food like take my time,
Speaker 1: like even a burger, bitch is gonna be gore mate, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's be clear, handmade, and he wouldn't eat immediately, and
Speaker 1: that would piss me off so bad because I want
Speaker 1: you to taste my food fresh, my mama, Yes, I
Speaker 1: would recook your food on a stove just so you
Speaker 1: can get like the full enjoyment out of its happy
Speaker 1: coming eat it while it's hot. Yes, Actually, like why
Speaker 1: is that an argument? Why I gotta argue with you
Speaker 1: to come eat? You? Was just around here actel like
Speaker 1: he was about to die from hunger, and now I
Speaker 1: actually take the time and cook for you, and like
Speaker 1: you just got the fucking food sitting there getting cold.
Speaker 1: That's that to me? That is like you don't have
Speaker 1: any regard for my time, yeah, at all, because you
Speaker 1: know what's gonna be out here cooking. Yeah, I'm bitches
Speaker 1: right there cooking. You know what. It's crazy because I
Speaker 1: haven't since I've been single, I have not been cooking
Speaker 1: like I used to when I was in a relationship.
Speaker 1: I used to be all on like different There's this
Speaker 1: website called Diva's Can Cook, and I would go to
Speaker 1: a different restaurants, I mean recipes and like like oh baby,
Speaker 1: look when I'm making a day for you. I used
Speaker 1: to be like making pineapple boats with teryaki chicken and
Speaker 1: rice and all and make it cute and giving him
Speaker 1: drinks with little umbrellas in it, like uh yeah, a
Speaker 1: real extra and the most. Now I got a single
Speaker 1: and a bit with door Dash, the funk out of food.
Speaker 1: That ship is too expensive, y'all, that damn door dash.
Speaker 1: You you you be don orders out for seventeen dollars and
Speaker 1: your dad your dad tab Yeah no, I'll be there
Speaker 1: to pick it up. Cancel. But whatever your joy looks like,
Speaker 1: and it don't have to be nothing that you have
Speaker 1: to buy. Dance into your favorite song, watching an episode
Speaker 1: of your favorite show, reading your favorite book, wearing your
Speaker 1: favorite shoes. Whatever joy looks like for you, do it, bit,
Speaker 1: start doing it, Start prioritizing it into your life. Okay,
Speaker 1: because you look up and you ain't wore your favorite
Speaker 1: shoes all year. You ain't dead. Oh yeah, you look up.
Speaker 1: You ain't dance, you all. It's three seasons of your show,
Speaker 1: your favorite shoulder came out, and you ain't watched a
Speaker 1: single episode. You have done nothing. You ain't prioritize your
Speaker 1: joy at all. So let's get back to that and
Speaker 1: to him the last one. Accept that you are worthy
Speaker 1: and deserving mm hmm. You have to accept that. You
Speaker 1: have to decide it and believe it and accept that
Speaker 1: for yourself. That's the word. That's a big word, that
Speaker 1: word decide. I'm gonna give. Let me give, y'all a um.
Speaker 1: I decided On Sunday, I decidedly. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you looked at my story, but it looked like scribble
Speaker 1: scratched the people. I don't know if people. If you
Speaker 1: guys know what a sigil is. A sigil, it's like
Speaker 1: it's a magic ship. Right. So you take a phrase
Speaker 1: or an affirmation, write you write it down, and then
Speaker 1: you take the letters from this phrase or after amation,
Speaker 1: and you arrange it into a photo. You arrange it
Speaker 1: into a picture. So like if if you're saying, I decide,
Speaker 1: you take the letters out of those words and you
Speaker 1: you can do this on the computer. You could do
Speaker 1: a free hand, but you arrange them in a certain way,
Speaker 1: you know, and you put it out there. You might
Speaker 1: want to burn it, but you gotta charge it up,
Speaker 1: charge it up, you know what. Maybe you dance around it,
Speaker 1: maybe you have sex around it, maybe you just meditate
Speaker 1: around it. Whatever it is that you charge it up, right,
Speaker 1: pray around it. Yep. You put it out there and
Speaker 1: you get rid of it, forget about it and watch
Speaker 1: how shit fucking manifest. On Sunday, I had a sigil
Speaker 1: on my story and this guy. Are you calling him
Speaker 1: my husband? Anyway? So my husband messaged me and he
Speaker 1: was like, what what what? What is this? I said,
Speaker 1: it's a sigil and all it says is I decide.
Speaker 1: I decided. It actually said I decided I can send
Speaker 1: it to you, m And I was I was making
Speaker 1: a decision about multiple things. I was following out with
Speaker 1: a home girl. All these different things was happening. But
Speaker 1: I made out my mind on Sunday about a lot
Speaker 1: of things. And I was laying in bed last night
Speaker 1: and I realized that the things I decided on or
Speaker 1: against everything in my fucking favor, everything and in my favor.
Speaker 1: As a Monday Sunday, I did this thing, and I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Because I'm like, okay, I'm gonna let me,
Speaker 1: let me break it down just a little bit more.
Speaker 1: So me and this friend were we fell out right.
Speaker 1: So I'm I was supposed to be going to her
Speaker 1: wed and this Saturday, I'm not. I'm no longer going
Speaker 1: to the wed and I I lit another friend convinced
Speaker 1: me to tell her I wasn't coming. But obviously she
Speaker 1: wasn't expecting me because she had a whole bridle shower
Speaker 1: yesterday that I wasn't invited to, but so be it.
Speaker 1: But I decide that's one of the things I decided
Speaker 1: on on that Sunday, right, and on Monday, I got
Speaker 1: a big opportunity that came to me Monday for the
Speaker 1: same day as her wedding. Mm hmm. So once I
Speaker 1: decided that I'm letting this relationship go, other doors opened up. Right.
Speaker 1: Look at God, So decide, Yeah, that's where the magic started.
Speaker 1: It starts in your mind. Wants you to decide you
Speaker 1: don't need anything to deserve the soft life. It doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be earned. When we believe and we decide
Speaker 1: we're worthy of a life guided by ease and comfort,
Speaker 1: we will reject things that don't align with that vision
Speaker 1: and make decisions that get us closer to maintaining that lifestyle. So, ladies,
Speaker 1: decide today that you deserve the soft life, and then
Speaker 1: you're gonna have it all right. I love y'all. I
Speaker 1: love y'all for real. Why am I so filled with love?
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's gratitude. It's a gift and occurs sometimes.
Speaker 1: But when I say I love y'all mean that ship
Speaker 1: I do. So y'all take this list. This comes from
Speaker 1: exo Nicole dot com if you want to go back
Speaker 1: over it and read it for yourself. But you can
Speaker 1: always just listen to our show again and stream it.
Speaker 1: So look not to say we're weak, because we ain't
Speaker 1: weak at all, right, but we real delicate like a
Speaker 1: bomb careful, right versus a flower. Be careful with black women.
Speaker 1: So when we say we're strong, like, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: real thing, but just be careful, be real, real careful,
Speaker 1: because the goddamn univers don't play about us. That's what
Speaker 1: I do know. Okay, it just doesn't. But you don't
Speaker 1: have to be strong no more. Let go really surrender.
Speaker 1: So whatever that life to the soft life. Here's to
Speaker 1: the soft life, ladies. Listen, we got our consultations up on.
Speaker 1: We talked back E n T dot com right, so
Speaker 1: you can literally book a session to talk to either
Speaker 1: one of us or both of us, whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do, y'all. Check it out is we talk back
Speaker 1: I n T dot com right. Call me if y'all
Speaker 1: need me to tell y'all how much I love y'all individuals.
Speaker 1: Y'all can't do that, I will, right, Yeah, but we're
Speaker 1: gonna have merch coming soon. It's just a process. It's
Speaker 1: a whole process, girl. But at least we've got a
Speaker 1: website now and it's really nice. First of all, Um,
Speaker 1: the lovely von Schelle one of my friends, good friends
Speaker 1: off events that I met her on Instagram, but she's
Speaker 1: also from the low Country. Child. When I tell you,
Speaker 1: God sent God for real for all. Anyway, listen, I
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode. It gave me um a lot of insights.
Speaker 1: So listen, guys, if you enjoyed this episode, please is
Speaker 1: tuning every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or
Speaker 1: wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is
Speaker 1: your co host, aj Holiday two point oh. On instagrams,
Speaker 1: y'all follow us, and again that website is we Talk
Speaker 1: Back in n T dot com. Y'all check it out. Um,
Speaker 1: still more updates coming up on it, but yeah, it's
Speaker 1: out there. Send us some dumb bad stories, the ask
Speaker 1: a black friend questions all that good. Shoot. If y'all
Speaker 1: see some funny ship online, send it to us too,
Speaker 1: all right, y'all follow me on Instagram official tam Bam.
Speaker 1: I love y'all. That's all I got coming up. God
Speaker 1: bless you, good night, Remember speak now and never hold
Speaker 1: your piece