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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 1: talks back. What's up y'all? Thank you for tuning in

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Speaker 1: for a new episode and we talk back. It's your

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Speaker 1: co host, a j Holiday What Up show dedicated to

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Speaker 1: you niggas and knees, not the y Hey, y'all, it's

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Speaker 1: me Tim Bam. I love y'all again, man, Thank you

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Speaker 1: all for coming back with me with y'all A long way.

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Speaker 1: You sound like, how you ship? Girl? Shut up? How

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Speaker 1: you know how that ship? I heard you three minutes

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Speaker 1: you went away. I heard that ship. You hear nothing.

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Speaker 1: I war to God, mind your business. I swear to God,

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Speaker 1: I heard that ship, and I meant to mention it literally. Look,

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Speaker 1: but what I was about to say is shout out

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Speaker 1: to the girl in the allens on page talking about

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Speaker 1: how only Tammy love y'all, so like y'all needy motherfucker's

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Speaker 1: y'all need everybody love y'all, Like, just be happy that

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Speaker 1: somebody do. I love y'all. I really love y'all, and

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Speaker 1: I appreciate when y'all come back to my comments telling

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Speaker 1: me y'all love me too. I like that energy. Keep

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Speaker 1: sending it. I'm sending it to y'all. Y'all sitting back

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Speaker 1: to me. Okay, don't worry about ain't gotta love y'all, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I can do it for everybody. I love y'all for everybody, okay, Right.

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Speaker 1: I have a lot of gratitude, okay, and appreciation for people.

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Speaker 1: So if I could say anything, that's what it would be.

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Speaker 1: But people you love tend to disappoint you. I ain't

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Speaker 1: playing with people like that. I don't even like humans real.

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Speaker 1: I love y'all, I love all y'all. What's up, y'all?

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Speaker 1: I had a time last night. At a time last night,

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Speaker 1: I went, I went outside. I started at this place

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Speaker 1: calling Fuse and Charlotte if you'll come to Charlotte us

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Speaker 1: the places y'all need to pop into. I started at

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Speaker 1: Infused and then I went to Stats. Sunday night on

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Speaker 1: Stats is always a vibe. And then at the that's

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Speaker 1: closed so or it closes at twelve o'clock on Sunday,

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Speaker 1: which is weird to me because it's their biggest night.

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Speaker 1: They probably should stay up until too so they could

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Speaker 1: keep getting that money. But right, I'm not the boss,

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Speaker 1: so they closed at twelve o'clock. And then after that

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Speaker 1: everybody goes to cloud and stay there until to something.

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Speaker 1: And I did all of that. I was getting my

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Speaker 1: Bernie's Burgo song because you know, I'm old. I was

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Speaker 1: out with all these little young hoes drinking with that

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Speaker 1: young ass. Now I was hurting this morning bad. I

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Speaker 1: went to my meeting this morning, y'all like, hello, good

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Speaker 1: morning everybody. I'm sorry, I'm like I told Taylor asked

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Speaker 1: he was gonna get on the micro side and like

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Speaker 1: that set like Martin Lords moring to you, like to

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Speaker 1: go out every Sunday night because that's the only day. Yes,

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Speaker 1: that's my only day and the whole week to like

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Speaker 1: do what I want the rest of the day is

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Speaker 1: I gotta be a responsible adult. But I ain't been

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Speaker 1: going outside that much like I've been in the house

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Speaker 1: on Sunday. So I just came out yesterday. I'm going

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Speaker 1: out to night too. Though I didn't do much this weekend. Um.

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Speaker 1: I went by one of my older cousins houses to

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Speaker 1: try to get here to damn Altar addressed for me,

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Speaker 1: and I found out some very interesting things about my family.

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Speaker 1: Just havn't you know, because family is really important. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if people realize that or not, and then

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Speaker 1: understanding your lineage and ship like that. She had like

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Speaker 1: tape recordings of elders in the family, Like I'm listening

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Speaker 1: to tapes. That's dope. I was so excited about that ship,

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Speaker 1: like that's the type of ship I'm into. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like that too. So now I'm ready to go

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Speaker 1: to this area Summrton, South Carolina. That's where my dad

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Speaker 1: family from. It's on the on the river Indians. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but it's a whole like they our last name is

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Speaker 1: a street down there. Land. I want to go a

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Speaker 1: whole cemetery with all our people in Like, yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go on the future, you should do it.

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Speaker 1: And also yeah, come, come come, because earlier this year,

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Speaker 1: like I had a whole list of different places I

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Speaker 1: wanted to visit. One of the places no longer on

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Speaker 1: the list the Georgia guidestones because themi got blown up

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Speaker 1: during the summer. But y'all know we have like mounds

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Speaker 1: and pyramids all around the United States, and Somerton has

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Speaker 1: multiple mounds because you know, we mound builders, like the

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Speaker 1: people from the Low Country area. So yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to go see all that ship so that was exciting

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Speaker 1: for me. Okay, yeah, that that sounds very exciting. I

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Speaker 1: like like that. Um My, my descendants of my family

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Speaker 1: are some you know, the white folks because my grandmother

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Speaker 1: was mixed raised and my great grandmother didn't have any

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Speaker 1: black but she was the product of like a rape honestly. Um.

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Speaker 1: But the white descendants of my family have They still

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Speaker 1: have the plantation house that they live on. It's something

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Speaker 1: to South Carolina, and I really want to go down

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Speaker 1: there and talk about reparations because why is the descendants

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Speaker 1: of their family they live in their house. I'm descended

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Speaker 1: to this family. Where is my forty because in them, right, girl,

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Speaker 1: it's probably down there. They probably don't want you like

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Speaker 1: my Like my older cousin. She started telling me, like

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Speaker 1: how the family that's in because summer tens near Sumter,

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Speaker 1: that's like Santine all that. Um. She was saying how

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Speaker 1: they don't like the family from Charleston to come because

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Speaker 1: it airs property down. They don't want people snooping, They

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Speaker 1: don't want to answer no questions. Man and that ship

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Speaker 1: because they still living on the land. But it's three

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Speaker 1: brothers that split this land amongst each other and only

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Speaker 1: their descendants. You know what I'm saying for one of

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Speaker 1: their brothers, right families, But I wouldn't want anything from them.

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Speaker 1: I just want to What I would like is to

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Speaker 1: be able to establish myself as a nation. But you

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Speaker 1: can't do that by yourself. So I need family, Like

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Speaker 1: that's why family is important. So we want to get

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Speaker 1: anything from this government. We may not get the actual

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Speaker 1: land that they owe us, but they gotta comp and

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Speaker 1: sate us or the mule which I want, the motherfucking money.

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Speaker 1: I want whole life insuring. I know what I want

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Speaker 1: for reparations. I don't know what y'all niggas, but I

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Speaker 1: know what I want my When when I was young,

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Speaker 1: my younger, when my boyfriend, my boyfriend's mother worked for

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Speaker 1: South Carolina Archives in history, and I used to she

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Speaker 1: used to let me read, like if you go there,

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Speaker 1: you can read like slavery accounts in different like stories

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Speaker 1: from like you know, slavery from black people who are

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Speaker 1: living post slavery. I don't know about slavery stories, but

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Speaker 1: like really, oh ship, you can go read it true

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Speaker 1: stories of black people. Yeah, So South contin So Charleston

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Speaker 1: Archives are at the library here and they have Charleston

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Speaker 1: has the best records, but you have to go and

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Speaker 1: do the research. But they have all that ship at

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Speaker 1: the State Archives. I believe it Charleston. That is one

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Speaker 1: of the oldest cities in this country, you know, m Charlestown.

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Speaker 1: So people don't go check this stuff out and you

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Speaker 1: you you will find like places like North Carolina, Tennessee

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Speaker 1: where they burned down archive places because they don't want

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Speaker 1: you to find that history out. So if you got

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Speaker 1: access to that ship even just you know, they have

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Speaker 1: uploaded some stuff online. I think it's um I'll get

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Speaker 1: the website and tell y'all next week. I can't remember,

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Speaker 1: but they have some of the stuff that's like online records.

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Speaker 1: You can you can try to start, you know, researching

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Speaker 1: your lineage aside from um ancestry dot com. Like that's

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Speaker 1: some bullshit. Yeah, I don't even trust that ship because

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Speaker 1: I saw where somebody sitting their pet iguana's DNA like

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Speaker 1: and it came back like the Guanaco. Listen those websites

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Speaker 1: in the terms of conditions, it tells you for entertainment

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Speaker 1: purposes only, like how can you send your blood and

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Speaker 1: then find out what ethnic group in Africa they gonna

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Speaker 1: tie you back to those people like you would have

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Speaker 1: to have my ancestors DNA to do that. This ship

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Speaker 1: is for entertainment purposes. The only way you can't really

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Speaker 1: get your true lineage is to talk to the elders

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Speaker 1: in your family if they still around. That's about it.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm, all right, let's get into dumb internet news.

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Speaker 1: What happened girl girl girls? So now I don't know

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Speaker 1: if we're gonna play this on EBT or p p P,

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Speaker 1: but the motherucking crab legs not disappeared from the Atlantic Ocean,

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Speaker 1: not just the legs, the whole crab is gone. It's

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Speaker 1: not just right, that's funny itself. The snow crabs have

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Speaker 1: disappeared for the waters around Atlanska. Scientists say over fishing

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Speaker 1: is not the cause. So what do you think, Uh,

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Speaker 1: this could be caused by I'm assuming like global warming

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Speaker 1: is killing everything off. But y'all niggas ain't gonna have

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Speaker 1: no snow crab legs this football season. Y'all gonna have

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Speaker 1: to eat your chicken wings. Shame. So do you want

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Speaker 1: to hear my theory on what's happening? Aside from the obvious?

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Speaker 1: When things like like when we start seeing like different

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Speaker 1: animals and species of insects, animals, and she's like that

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Speaker 1: start disappearing. We next. That's how I see it. But

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Speaker 1: a lot of times is human manipulation, you know, because

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Speaker 1: we can go in next when they talk about got

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Speaker 1: the shoulders on butter, So now you gotta shoulder dr

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Speaker 1: crab legs and fucking butter right now. The whole meal missing.

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Speaker 1: The whole meal is missing, you guys. Like, And I

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Speaker 1: always be telling people I'm a whole mermaid, Like as

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Speaker 1: much as I try to eat this straight plant based like, man,

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Speaker 1: I cannot not eat seafood, okay, but there's a couple

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Speaker 1: of things that happened this year, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: if people follow this stuff. Mermaids eat fish though, because

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Speaker 1: I feel like that would be cannibalism, right, girls, shut

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Speaker 1: up all right, Like, as if other animals don't eat

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Speaker 1: other animals in the sea, what the hell are we

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Speaker 1: talking about cannibals? That's cannibalism. That is non cannibalism. You're

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Speaker 1: not eating the same species, You're not. You don't have

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Speaker 1: mermaids eating mermaids how you know they don't eat each other?

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Speaker 1: You know? You see the mermaids not Yeah, just like

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Speaker 1: humans be eating each other, right, they do both ways.

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Speaker 1: But okay, so look a few things happened this year

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Speaker 1: aside from Russia going to Ward Ukraine. Right, So I

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Speaker 1: want to say, like maybe in March um Um one

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Speaker 1: of the top Russian lawmakers, like real close to putin

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Speaker 1: one of his aids he basically said they want Alaska back. Right.

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Speaker 1: I think like maybe in the eighteen hundreds or some time,

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Speaker 1: America purchased Alaska from Russia for like some millions, like

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Speaker 1: seven million dollars at that time or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Now Russia wants Alaska back. That's one thing, right. The

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Speaker 1: other thing is is that I don't know if y'all

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Speaker 1: believe in this type of stuff, but this is eh

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Speaker 1: J's conspiracy. Okay, we all knew where it was going. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that none of this is a conspiracy because it's all factual. Ship.

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Speaker 1: I'm just laying out another perspective on how to look

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Speaker 1: at why the crab legs are disappearing from Alaska, the crabs,

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Speaker 1: not just the names the crabs. Why the crabs are disappearing,

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Speaker 1: Why the snow crab legs disappearing? Just legs in the

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Speaker 1: seat girl that is wild. Okay, Okay, so Russia wants

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Speaker 1: Alaska back. I don't know if y'all study like ancient

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Speaker 1: civilizations and stuff like that, like the an anarchy all that,

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Speaker 1: Like they say, these people still exist in an Antarctic,

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Speaker 1: which is like right above Alaska. Um. Another thing that

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Speaker 1: happened this year was that Russia hosted war games with China,

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Speaker 1: so you know, China is kind of like complicit with

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Speaker 1: how Russia is handling Um, Ukraine and stuff like right

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Speaker 1: there on the same team essentially. So I want to

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Speaker 1: say me be in August and September, they had war

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Speaker 1: games in Alaska on the in Alaska and those waters,

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Speaker 1: So what we are dropping nuclear missiles and stuff, what

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Speaker 1: we are doing in the water, And that could explain

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Speaker 1: why the species because they say snow crabs are like

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Speaker 1: the most abundant. It's like billions. The crustaceans are just

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Speaker 1: not there exactly, so they're in abundance. So it's not

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Speaker 1: like you can over fish them, so they're not dying

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Speaker 1: from being over fished. It's something else that's happening in

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Speaker 1: that water. It could be Alaska being contaminated by Russia.

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Speaker 1: Who knows, but I think it's human manipulation, is what

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Speaker 1: we're experiencing right now. It could be all right, this

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Speaker 1: is a conspiracy theory of my own. It could be

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Speaker 1: a portal to different dimensions under the water. And one

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Speaker 1: of the motherfucker's slipped down in it and they cooked

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Speaker 1: it over there, and it was like, oh, this ship

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Speaker 1: tastes good. It's fishing, and they sucked all of them

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Speaker 1: today's side and said, y'all, y'all can't handle crab legs.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I believe there is a portal in Antarctica.

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Speaker 1: I believe that, So that could be they could be

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Speaker 1: getting the funk on through because they know something about

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Speaker 1: to happen on this realm. Y'all forgot that. Cern did

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Speaker 1: this damn hydro collider earlier this year where they try

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Speaker 1: to pierce a hole in the universe to create black matter,

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Speaker 1: dark dark matter, all these different things that transpired this year.

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Speaker 1: You gotta take into consideration when we start seeing ship

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Speaker 1: we've never seen before. But yeah, that's scary, y'all if

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Speaker 1: you think about it's kind of scary, like billions of

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Speaker 1: crustaceans are just missing billions. That's crazy, Like where did

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Speaker 1: they go? Right? Or it could be something simple like

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Speaker 1: them trying to hike the price up on snow crabs

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Speaker 1: because they know bitches be buying it on E B

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Speaker 1: T Right. I don't know the snow crab girls just

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Speaker 1: stop sucking like they boycotting they niggas and they're like,

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Speaker 1: we're not fucking making no more billions. God dange, have

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Speaker 1: you been following what's been going on with Tasha K

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Speaker 1: and Cardi B at all? Um not really tell me

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Speaker 1: what happened. So you know, Cardi B sued Tasha K

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Speaker 1: this year the laws who actually started in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: I believe. But she sued Tasha k Um in a

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Speaker 1: defamation case. So we all know that the UM defense

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Speaker 1: against um defamation or slander is the truth, right. So

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Speaker 1: Tasha K wasn't able to prove that what she was

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Speaker 1: saying about Cardi B was true, so the course of

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Speaker 1: waterhor her four million dollars. So Cardi B right now

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Speaker 1: is using the courts to take that bitch house all

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Speaker 1: types of ship, like she wants her coins from Tasha K.

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Speaker 1: And you got a lot of people who me personally,

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Speaker 1: I don't like the blog ship. You know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: The more we build out plat form. We could end

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Speaker 1: up one of those people that somebody's prying into our

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Speaker 1: private lives to put it on the internet for money.

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Speaker 1: Like I know, people say, oh, that comes with celebrity, right,

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Speaker 1: It shouldn't, though, you know what I'm saying, Like, I

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Speaker 1: literally want to start a blog and I won't tell

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Speaker 1: you all the name of it because I'm gonna do

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Speaker 1: it one day, but I'm going I would like to

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Speaker 1: let blogs see how it feels to have somebody exposed

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Speaker 1: that day baby Daddy got a baby on the way

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Speaker 1: Christmas Day to the world before you even know that

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Speaker 1: is devastating to ruin somebody's day like that, And that's

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Speaker 1: the type of ship that they'd be doing. It's really shady.

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Speaker 1: Like I unfollow all the different blogs. I haven't followed

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Speaker 1: all the blogs during uh goddamn monkey pocks because I

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Speaker 1: was tired of seeing that ship on my goddamn timeline.

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Speaker 1: Like y'all ain't manifesting that bullshit from my skin. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but we've been talking about people. We do talk about

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Speaker 1: people ship, but I think it's a difference between spectating

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Speaker 1: and giving your opinion on what you see as opposed

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Speaker 1: to actually paying keep both for information prying. You got

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Speaker 1: somebody's best friend getting four hundred dollars to give a

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Speaker 1: video this little Nah. I'm not into that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: and we're not on here trying to tear nobody down. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not into like subscribing to a subscription to

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Speaker 1: get fucking people other people business that. It is weird

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Speaker 1: to me. I don't like that industry. You shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: able to say and do what you want to do

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Speaker 1: to people like exactly. There should be uh repercussions for

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Speaker 1: doing and saying ship That's all I'm saying, But not

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Speaker 1: to Kanye. I don't want to go there in their

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Speaker 1: mind never mind, never mind. No, yeah, you want to

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Speaker 1: go there, but I don't do. No, let's go down

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Speaker 1: for two seconds. Forgive me for saying that I don't

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Speaker 1: want What did he say, though? Tell me what did

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Speaker 1: he say? It's just the fit all comments that kind

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Speaker 1: of It wasn't the knee. It was a fitting al.

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Speaker 1: But I went to look at all the reports and

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Speaker 1: it shows that it was a lack of oxygen that

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Speaker 1: killed him. It wasn't the fitting al. Okay, So in

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00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,200
Speaker 1: that particular thing, okay, the thing with Kanye even saying

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Speaker 1: that they did report he had fitting all in this system.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe that the police gave him fitting off.

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Speaker 1: But it was definitely not just that need to the neck.

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Speaker 1: That's why I was confused why those other cops didn't

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Speaker 1: get the same amount of time, because it's the pressure

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Speaker 1: of all three of those grown men on top of

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Speaker 1: that one man. Yeah, that caused something to not breathe exactly, asphyxiation,

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Speaker 1: which is what the cause of death was. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: and what else you don't agree with? That was just

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Speaker 1: my It was just my biggest thing that when he

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Speaker 1: went there was like, come on, Kanye is you know

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Speaker 1: it's a very very sense of the topic and you know,

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00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 1: just to say things like that, and with the type

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Speaker 1: of platform here, it's just kind of like, yeah, come on.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, you mentioned in in in regards to with

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Speaker 1: Tasha k and what's going on with Cardi B. Let's

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00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,960
Speaker 1: stay on topic. Then yeah, you should. Like I said

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Speaker 1: before when I first started talking about them, the cure,

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Speaker 1: the remedy for uh slander case for defamation, a character

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Speaker 1: case is always going to be the truth. So you

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00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 1: have to prove what you said, what you wrote, what's true,

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Speaker 1: Tasha K wasn't able to do that, and I don't

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00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 1: feel like you should just be able to say and

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00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 1: do what you want to do to people in America

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00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:43,600
Speaker 1: like that ship should not come with celebrity. It shouldn't.

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Speaker 1: She was saying like, oh, she got herpes or baby

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Speaker 1: gonna be slow, all kind of weird things tashak And

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Speaker 1: then she hasn't She hasn't digressed either. She's stole online

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Speaker 1: making like means like I just I just withdraw my

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Speaker 1: last thousand dollars. I ain't got no money. So it's

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Speaker 1: just like, I feel like Cardie could be really want

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00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: to fight her, and because I can't physically put my

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00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,119
Speaker 1: hand on you, like this is the next next best thing,

329
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just destroy your whole existence. And some people

330
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Speaker 1: may see that as evil, but I believe what Tasha

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Speaker 1: K did to Cardi B as evil. We already know

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Speaker 1: Cardi B as the type of person who she can't

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00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,879
Speaker 1: take criticism from one right, and again that should not

334
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 1: come with mean comments, people waking up just to be

335
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 1: meaning you shouldn't come with being a celebrity. You know

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00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, And that's what happens. And then talking

337
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,200
Speaker 1: about our people, kids and ship like that. Yeah, it's

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00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 1: just not one tashak, because one tashak spreading that type

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00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: of rhetoric multiplies into you know, twenty thousand tashaks and

340
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:44,640
Speaker 1: her comments, and that does affect people. People have said

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00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,760
Speaker 1: mean things to me and my comments nine as big

342
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Speaker 1: as I'm not a star like celebrity, and that should

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00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 1: affects you, even though you may say it doesn't, it does.

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00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: So it does mean. I think my skin has gotten

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00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 1: a little more thicker over the um years, just because

346
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 1: it's just been talking about about me my whole life exactly.

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00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, I remember when I was like

348
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 1: little I was. I wouldn't even high school yet, and

349
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 1: I was a whole I ain't even fucking how am

350
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 1: I home? Not home? I'm not even fucking yet. Like

351
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 1: it was in your aura, even then, I had a horror.

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00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:36,920
Speaker 1: That's exactly what it was. They saw that ship coming. Okay,

353
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,560
Speaker 1: all right, so look the last thing I saw was

354
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 1: this little boy white Kao Cireus. He's tripping out. He's

355
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 1: driving on the highway in Hollywood. I'm assuming because he

356
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: says anybody could come to Beverly Hill Center and rob him, right, now,

357
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 1: and that's where I'm at. Nigga. First of all, anybody

358
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 1: coming to Beverly Hill Center to do anything to you

359
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 1: in broad daylight? Okay, off, maybe brascos, but not the

360
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 1: Beverly Center. That was a hard joke. But rest in peace.

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00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: What's his name? PNB? Yeah? PNB Rock so um. Apparently

362
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 1: he's having some type of breakdown because it sounds like

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00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: his voice is treamling like he was crying. He was saying,

364
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: how little baby don't sunk with him no more? He

365
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 1: hasn't spoken to Drake, Drake hasn't funked with him no more.

366
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Speaker 1: And he was like, I should just die, you know,

367
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: I could just die now, Like do nobody in the

368
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: industry funk with me? You know? To me, this sounds

369
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: like he's running out of money. M hmm, that's what

370
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,959
Speaker 1: it sounds like to me. Yeah, one good hit. Yeah.

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00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: My thing thing is why y'all want to die about

372
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,919
Speaker 1: being poor? I've been poor before. If I get poor again,

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Speaker 1: I'm still want to be here. I could survive. I've

374
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: been happy poor, you know. Yes, let me tell you.

375
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: Whenever you feel like that and you feel like you

376
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: know there's nothing left, you always got yourself. I've always

377
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: got me because I funk with me, and that's the

378
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 1: most priceless thing you got. All that you don't hold

379
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: the same value as yourself. Yeah, you know how I

380
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 1: feel about suicide. Like, if you're gonna do it, and

381
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 1: do it, don't be publicizing it. It's really abusive. It's

382
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: abusive to the public. It's abusive to people who love you.

383
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure your mom's seeing that. Like, people who

384
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: close to you, who actually have a relationship with you

385
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 1: and love you, don't want to see you saying ship

386
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: like that just because a couple of niggas in the

387
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: industry don't sunk with you. Um, the side of this thing,

388
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 1: you know. Recently, they was talking laughing at him, asked,

389
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: I guess it was a rumor that he was working

390
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: with Ditty or some crazy ship like that. At some

391
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 1: point they asked him about it on the Breakfast Club.

392
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: I had talked something like in my mind, now I'm

393
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: looking at you, like, did you do some ship you

394
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 1: regret and now they didn't deliver on the things that

395
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 1: were offered to you for doing those things? Did you

396
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,720
Speaker 1: beend the knee? What happened right? What happened? No? Matter

397
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: what happened, it's still ain't worth dying about, you know.

398
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't know what death looks like,

399
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:12,919
Speaker 1: so I don't know what's on the other side. It

400
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: might be I don't know what. Yeah, it might be

401
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,119
Speaker 1: lit on the other side. So I mean, if you

402
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 1: want to go, go, but send us an email. That

403
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,719
Speaker 1: can't send email for you? Why we get ghosts emails

404
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 1: all the time? What like spam? What the fucking schools

405
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: sending these emails? They ain't dead people, We don't pis.

406
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: I promise you I ain't got an email from a

407
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 1: dead motherfucker. Get I promise you I had. You don't know.

408
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 1: It might be in your junk box, it might be

409
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: in your spam box. You know. No, I know I can't.

410
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much sure. But you know, all right, Because

411
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 1: people swear we joke about everything, suicide is not a joke.

412
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: Suicide is very serious. It's a very real issue, and

413
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: I think it's become a greater issue in our country

414
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 1: then it used to be. Yes, people are, people are

415
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: stressed out, people are going through changes, and really only

416
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: a strong gonna survive. But if you don't want to survive,

417
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: you know you have we have to want to survive,

418
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Um, it's just a tough

419
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 1: time for everybody. And there's a couple of things that

420
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 1: I can name that may play a part in what

421
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: people are experiencing. But it's one thing I always think

422
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: about when people say, you know, one thing I think

423
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 1: about when people do abruptly commit suicide and nobody knew

424
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: that they were suicidal. Like that young girl, um who

425
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: committed suicide last last month. I forgot her name though.

426
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: She was like one of these rappings fitness, young lady, beautiful. Yeah,

427
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 1: so she took her life, and I feel like, this

428
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: is just my spiritality, spirituality kicking in right. It's almost

429
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: like people who do commit suicide, it's something in that

430
00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:02,159
Speaker 1: moment that they realized that there saying that they don't like.

431
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: She said that she was like she never felt like

432
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: she belonged here. It's like that's just what her her

433
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: her soul or her spirit came to experience and she

434
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: was ready to go. I feel like you should be

435
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: able to have control of your own life in that

436
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 1: way if you don't want to be here anymore. Yeah.

437
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: So I just I look at suicide different nowadays. I

438
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: used to think about it differently, but yeah, I just

439
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 1: look at suicide different nowadays. Um, there was this woman

440
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: and I saw like there was a documentary about it,

441
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: but I can't think of the name at the moment.

442
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: But she was the mother of two white males who

443
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: had like this illness that gave them zero quality of life.

444
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: And she took care of them, you know. But she

445
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 1: was getting old and she was about to die, and

446
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: she knew that nobody was gonna take care of her

447
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: sons the way she would take care of him, so

448
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: she killed him. She killed both of them, and she

449
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: called it a mercy killing. Yeah, And I feel like

450
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:05,040
Speaker 1: hospitals do that all time, just take people out. I

451
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: feel like they do do that. And I and I

452
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,640
Speaker 1: and I was I was torn, like, you like, how

453
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: do you get to decide for them? You know, because

454
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: they can't there They were non verbal, they weren't you know,

455
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:23,119
Speaker 1: they couldn't do much of nothing, but just exists right right. Um,

456
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: So I don't want to be like that me neither.

457
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever be like that. But a

458
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 1: part of me is like, you're not God, so you

459
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: shouldn't be able to decide that for them. But you

460
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 1: are their mother and you're the only one who taking

461
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 1: care of him. And that's God. This I see. Women

462
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: are the closest thing, if if, if you believe there's

463
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 1: a higher power and there's like this big thing in

464
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,639
Speaker 1: the sky for you, I feel like on earth, women

465
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 1: are the closest thing you want to get to to God.

466
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 1: We literally give life for real, We cultivated and we

467
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: give life. So um, you know. I also feel like

468
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 1: women are just a portal so we can take it

469
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: away too, tell me that all the time. Yeah, I

470
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,960
Speaker 1: brought you in here, I'll take y'all. But the thing

471
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: is is that you are just a portal, right for

472
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:16,600
Speaker 1: that other human being, and once they get here, they

473
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: are their own entity. You don't own another human being,

474
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: even your child, right. But in that case, like she,

475
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: they would probably end up somewhere dying miserably anyway, because

476
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: nobody would take care of you like your mama would.

477
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 1: And that's just the truth. And that was and they

478
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 1: they put her ass to jail. She died in jail.

479
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 1: That's where. Yeah, man, that's sad. So was she old?

480
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 1: She was, yeah, she was getting old, Okay, she was

481
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 1: getting older. And she's like you know, I don't feel

482
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: well anymore. I feel like my days are numbered and

483
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,119
Speaker 1: I don't want to leave them here like this wouldn't

484
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 1: about me to take care of them, right, and then

485
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 1: the state ain't gonna take care of them like that either,

486
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: Like they would have just died in a hospital somewhere,

487
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: died in some type of adult facility. As soon as

488
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: you put your family members in those type of places,

489
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 1: they end up dying. You know. It becomes like hospice

490
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: care in a short period of time, maybe up out

491
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:20,119
Speaker 1: of here. M So, I feel like the hospitals do it,

492
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: but they like to play god. Yeah, it's okay for

493
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: them to play god because they don't took the oath.

494
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 1: They got all of hundred thousand dollars and student loans

495
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: and all his bullshits, and now you get to play god.

496
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:36,719
Speaker 1: I don't like that crazy world, I know, right, but listen, y'all, Okay,

497
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a break right quick, and when we

498
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: come back, we want to get into the strong black

499
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 1: woman thrope. What y'all think about that thrope? Not your throat.

500
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: We know y'all got strong throats. We're talking about the throat.

501
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: We'll be back all right, y'all, So we are two

502
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: black women, right, Okay. I believe the majority of our

503
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: listeners are black women, And um, what I wanted to

504
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: talk about is like the the strong black woman saying misconception. Um.

505
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: I read this article and I'm just gonna read the

506
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,959
Speaker 1: the just the first little paragraph because it kind of

507
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: explains what I want to talk about. So it's so

508
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: it says the stereotype of the strong black woman is

509
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 1: more than just a cultural throat. Many black women in

510
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: America report feeling pressured to act like superwoman, projecting themselves

511
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: as strong, self sacrificing and free of emotion to cope

512
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: with stress of race and gender based discrimination in their

513
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: daily lives. That's our motherfucking wait to carry forever in America.

514
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: I think that's you know, it is a stereotype, but

515
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: it has it's something that's been passed down to us

516
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 1: from slavery. We've had to be the strong black woman.

517
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 1: We've had like they would take our our male counterpart

518
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: and beat them, tie one side of his body, like

519
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: his legs to a horse, and tie his hands to

520
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 1: another horse, and then beat both horses until a rip

521
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: the nigga apart in front of you. You know, we

522
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: had to like see these things and feel like, Okay,

523
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: we may not have our male counterpart to take care

524
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: of us, so we have to be strong for ourselves

525
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: and for our children. And I think that ideology has

526
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: been passed down after generation the generation of generation, and

527
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: then it almost became like a badge of honor, like

528
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: I'm the strong, proud Black woman, but I'm over that ship. Well,

529
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: you know, we can go back to slavery, but a

530
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: lot of people and like as you may take it,

531
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 1: that's a black holocaust, and that's still happening today. Right.

532
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: The thing is that those same things all will happen

533
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:06,280
Speaker 1: two women. Um, those same things also happened to other

534
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: ethnic groups of women, other races of women. But you

535
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,320
Speaker 1: don't hear Indian women going around saying I'm a strong

536
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 1: Indian woman, or Asian saying I'm a strong Chinese woman.

537
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: So what is the thing about black culture where you know,

538
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: that's like a self proclaimed title that we've taken on

539
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 1: and it has hurt, It has hurt and harmed us

540
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: um and kind of motivated us at the same time, right,

541
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 1: because now we're looking for um, good relationships with our

542
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: men and that strong black woman thing comes in and

543
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: it's a problem mm hmm uh in the hospital setting

544
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: when you know, given birth, we don't get the same

545
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 1: type of medical care, same type of pain medicine, because

546
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: we are supposedly these wrong that can take all this pain.

547
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,719
Speaker 1: Like the whole O B G. Y in system was

548
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: built off of experiments that these white doctors were doing

549
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: on black women when no anesthesia. M Like, it's a

550
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: real thing, not a conspiracy. These things happen. So now

551
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: we've just been carrying this, this this false badge of honor,

552
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: and it doesn't help us in our day to day

553
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: lives at this point. I agree, you know, so we've

554
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: had to be strong. I feel like black men also

555
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: have had to be strong, but they can't say, oh,

556
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: I'm a strong black man. We would probably look at

557
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 1: them like, you know what I'm saying. So why is

558
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: it I want my say here strong? Because then we

559
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,840
Speaker 1: start comparing their struggle to ours as women. No, because

560
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 1: I didn't. I can see that because I'm I'm living

561
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:58,239
Speaker 1: a soft life over here. Let's talk about it. In

562
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: order for black women to be able to live a

563
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 1: soft life, right that that that the dynamics within our

564
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: relationships with black men. Well, then have to change because again,

565
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: the way black women are it's a trauma response. It's

566
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 1: not how we want to be. But maybe we can

567
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,280
Speaker 1: start living our soft life before the men come into it,

568
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 1: so then they can see our life is a soft

569
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: life and you need to be like the strong black

570
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,719
Speaker 1: man that we need. So I found a list of

571
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: things to help you live a soft life, lady. First

572
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: thing is to schedule me time to be nurturing to yourself,

573
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 1: to help restore your energy so you're not running on

574
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: empty all the time, because a lot of us are

575
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: always on e so you need to date. Start setting

576
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: dates with yourself. Schedule me time, whatever that looks like.

577
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: To get away from your kids, even to just be

578
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: sitting still in peace is me time, So schedule me time.

579
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: That's number one. Number two, cultivate new belief about rest.

580
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: It says if you tie yourself worth to how productive

581
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 1: you can be, uh you grow an environment where you're

582
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: called lazy, or if you grew up in an environment

583
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 1: where you're called lazy for relaxing, you may feel guilty

584
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: when you aren't busy. Rest shouldn't be a response or

585
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 1: reward for overworking. Yourself, make time for rest, Ladies, prioritize rest. Yeah,

586
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 1: I agree with that. Um, oftentimes Black women we get

587
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 1: into relationships where we're having to always build with somebody else. Right,

588
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: not saying that other groups of women don't do this,

589
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: but I like, just I'm just speaking about Black America

590
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 1: because even like we would say, some African nations don't

591
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: even have to go through this, like the men know

592
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 1: the roles and women know the role and it works.

593
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,680
Speaker 1: You know. Um, this is just based on our experience

594
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: in America. Oftentimes, you don't really have that much time

595
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: to rest unless you're like really single, single with no kids.

596
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: But if you're in a relationship, especially with an entrepreneur,

597
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 1: they want you to be the secretary. You gotta do

598
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: all these things as still performing in the bedroom, if

599
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 1: this kid's involved, you still gotta do that too. It's

600
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: like there's really no time to chill out, there's no

601
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: time to relax, but you have to. You have to

602
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 1: prioritize your rest because I mean, ladies, it starts to

603
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: show up on your face baby when you when you

604
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 1: look at you, you look at a bit like damn,

605
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: she looked like she had a hard life, you know,

606
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,800
Speaker 1: and it's because we're not prioritizing our rest. And another

607
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: reason is because we're not wearing sunscreen. Y'all start wearing sunscreen,

608
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 1: black girl. Sunscreen is a thing. It's a product I use,

609
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: and it will help your face. If you don't have

610
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 1: to struggle, don't Struggling doesn't always make the journey worthwhile

611
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 1: or the destination meaningful. You don't have to struggle to

612
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: have an empowering, relatable, or inspirational story. We aren't all

613
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,440
Speaker 1: dealt the same cards. So if you're currently have access

614
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: to things that make it easier for you to accomplish

615
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: something or achieve your goal, take it. Don't feel guilty,

616
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 1: choose easy over hard every time. Okay, let's talk about

617
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 1: that for a second, because I feel like in the

618
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: black community is almost like if you didn't struggle, you

619
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: and ship, it's like you ain't get that out of

620
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 1: the mud exactly. I don't like that because everybody's bottom

621
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,840
Speaker 1: is different, Like my bottom is different from yours. My

622
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 1: bottom might be you know, the damn dirt to somebody else.

623
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Everybody has a bottom, So

624
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: why are we criticizing people who didn't have to struggle, right,

625
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And for whatever reason, in

626
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: in the black community, black women are supposed to struggle

627
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: in relationships. We're supposed to have struggle love we have,

628
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 1: We're supposed to have grown up struggling, you know what

629
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm saying, in order for people to respect our hustle

630
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: or respect who we are now as a person, Like,

631
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 1: why is that? Why do I have to struggle with

632
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,399
Speaker 1: a man um in order to get the reward of

633
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 1: just simply just the love, right? Why do I have

634
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: to do that? You don't have to Yeah, that's what

635
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 1: this this is, That's what this is saying. But we

636
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, It's almost like niggas test you, Like

637
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 1: why are you testing me? Either you funk with me

638
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,760
Speaker 1: or you don't. You know what I'm saying, Like, don't

639
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: don't do anything. I saw a post the other day

640
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 1: and I and I posted it on my story and

641
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: somebody one of my homeboys and boxed me and he

642
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: was like, that's not toxic because in the video it's

643
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: a guy like smiling, like licking his tongue out. He

644
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 1: was so excited because the bitches on the other side

645
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: of the phone going crazy. The caption was like when

646
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 1: you when you when you add a girl to make

647
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 1: your woman mad or something like that, Why are you

648
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: intentionally making me mad? Why do you want to disturb

649
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 1: a woman's peace in that way? I just think like

650
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: these men are also dealing with their own trauma, and

651
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: they'll be taking this along for the ride. Yes, Because

652
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,479
Speaker 1: the thing is is that if you ask a man

653
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: what he wants from a woman, nine percent of the

654
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: men will say I want peace. But a lot of

655
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: these niggas, excuse me, A lot of these men do

656
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,839
Speaker 1: not know how to facilitate peace, nor do they know

657
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 1: how to maintain peace. You aren't peace You aren't even peaceful,

658
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 1: yet you're demanding peace from somebody else when you're the disturbance.

659
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 1: Imagine that, right, be my piece. You're not even peaceful,

660
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: So I'm supposed to be your piece all while I'm

661
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: losing their head. Yeah, be my piece? Nah? Alright. Number

662
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: four that let people help you. This is a good one, because, yeah,

663
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,760
Speaker 1: this is a big one. If you have well intended

664
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: people in your circle of us willing to help you,

665
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 1: let them help you. God damn, they're hit home. Because

666
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people who don't accept help,

667
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: or afraid to ask for help from people who are willing,

668
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: you know. So that's a big one. Ladies, let people

669
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: help you. Yeah, and that is actually like one of

670
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 1: my things I work on the most is asking for help.

671
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Because I'm the type of person.

672
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,439
Speaker 1: I am very intuitive, I'm an EmPATH. I can feel

673
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,919
Speaker 1: when somebody need help, so I make it to where

674
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: they don't even have to ask me. I'm offering, you

675
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So I kind of look for

676
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 1: that too for people, like just in general conversation on

677
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: me telling you what's going on, whatever I want you

678
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: to offer, especially for men. You know what I'm saying,

679
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 1: I don't wanna have to come and ask you for ship.

680
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 1: I feel like you should just already be doing. I'm

681
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: sorry that that may be a thing because there's a

682
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: lot of women who are afraid to ask. Now, I'm

683
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: not afraid to ask a man for nothing. I'm not

684
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: afraid to ask for ship. I don't know how I

685
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: learned that when I learned that, but I would let

686
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,720
Speaker 1: you know what I need very upfront. But that's because

687
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm also generous, you know, So I'm gonna let you

688
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: know what I need because you ain't got no problem.

689
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: Let me know what the funk you need exactly. And

690
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a big problem for a lot

691
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: of black women. Like if you you have to be

692
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: upfront with, especially in relationships, whatever you want like me,

693
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: Like see say, for instance, you want to sugar dad,

694
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 1: you want somebody to take care of you. You You need

695
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 1: to say that ship up front first and foremost, not after.

696
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: You don't gave up your damn couci And now you've

697
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: got all these demands. Now you're trying to figure out

698
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: what are we No, you need to ask for what

699
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: you want. Let people know what you want, what paid

700
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: you on up front? Yeah, because I mean it just sells.

701
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,840
Speaker 1: It sets healthy boundaries for that relationship when you set

702
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:55,840
Speaker 1: your expectations in the beginning. Right. So that's kind of

703
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 1: a little bit off topic, a little bit from asking

704
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 1: for help. But if you're overwhelmed, right, you got people

705
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: around you who love you. Like I know for a fact,

706
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: I don't use my resources like I should. I don't

707
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 1: because I don't like being disturbed. And this could be

708
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: like one of my little um things. I will help people,

709
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I don't like being disturbed,

710
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,439
Speaker 1: so I don't disturb other people, you know what I mean.

711
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 1: So I can literally be in the closet dying child

712
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,359
Speaker 1: and I ain't gonna tell anybody I'm gonna I'm gonna

713
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 1: figure it out. I know you You know those posts

714
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 1: that say, um if if your girl say I'll figure

715
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: it out, she's gonna figure that shot out and she

716
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: with you. No more like that's me for real, I'll

717
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: figure it out. Because I don't like the word no.

718
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: I don't like when I do muster up the courage

719
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 1: to ask somebody about something and maybe acting like they

720
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: can't come through for me. I don't like that. I

721
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 1: don't like no, they don't bother me. I just asked

722
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: the next motherfucker, you can't do it alright, I need

723
00:41:56,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: a manage and on to the next. It's kind of

724
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: like cold calling. You know, you calling enough people, somebody

725
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:11,919
Speaker 1: gonna say, not the customer service, a begging cold call

726
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:20,479
Speaker 1: you motherfucking I ain't mad at nobody, stupid. Number five.

727
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: Speak to yourself kindly. This is one of the ones

728
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: that I have to work on all the time. That

729
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: negative self talk that's in your head is just telling

730
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,760
Speaker 1: you things that aren't right about yourself or aren't good enough,

731
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: and it's in your brain and you have to like

732
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 1: really get that negative say funk that negative inner voice

733
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 1: and speak out loud nice things to your self. My

734
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: challenge everybody to stop what they're doing right now, go

735
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 1: look in the mirror and say something fucking nice to yourself. Yes,

736
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: it's the subconscious mind you gotta work on. And that's

737
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 1: another thing, daily, daily, on a daily basis, I'm doing

738
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: different practice. This isn't rituals. So I can change my

739
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: subconscious mind. So even even like when I start having

740
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: a negative, negative thought, you know what I picture. I

741
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: picture like a box and I'm putting that thought in

742
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 1: a fucking box, and I'm trying a motherfucker balloon to

743
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: that box, and I'm letting it float away. I'm letting

744
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 1: it go and I'm replacing it with a better thought.

745
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: Because the present is all we have. We don't have

746
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 1: the future anymore. I mean, we don't have the future.

747
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 1: We don't have the past. Right the present, present, right

748
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,440
Speaker 1: now is all you got. So you have the ability

749
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 1: to create a better past. You got the ability to

750
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: create a better future, but it happens in the now,

751
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: So when you're sitting there having all these negative thoughts.

752
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 1: Right now, you're sucking up your past and you're sucking

753
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: up your future. Period. So you gotta let list stuff go,

754
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 1: Let things go, Let that hurt go. Girl. I told

755
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,640
Speaker 1: you to go to the mirror, is because I know

756
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: you didn't get up. I said, go to the mirror

757
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 1: and say something nice to your motherfucker's self. Go do

758
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,399
Speaker 1: it like we give other people compliments all day long.

759
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:07,919
Speaker 1: Give yourself some complex. Bit you're doing a good job.

760
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: Bit you're doing a good job. Period. Whatever it is.

761
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 1: Whatever you notice something good about yourself, say it out

762
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: loud to yourself. Damn my titties sitting up nice today.

763
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: Damn I'm smart, Damn I'm funny. Is hell? Ain't it

764
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:26,479
Speaker 1: that brings me the number six? Stop trying to be humble? Yeah,

765
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 1: trying to be humble this list because in the black

766
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: community it's almost like they you need to be humble.

767
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 1: Are y'all always trying to humble? Somebody listening? Three and

768
00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: beyond being humble? If you the ship, act like it, okay,

769
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: and then and then if you're trying to get to

770
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,799
Speaker 1: be the ship, it starts today again in the now Okay,

771
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: stop being humble, ladies, that's old. Starting today, we're gassing

772
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: ourselves up. Gass yourself up, toot your horn, yes, because

773
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: who else gonna do it? And funny who got a

774
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 1: problem with it? Exactly because I can recall being in

775
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,839
Speaker 1: relationships where I couldn't depend on my mate to do it.

776
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I had to you gotta

777
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: be your own self starter, You gotta be your own

778
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 1: chairleader sometimes because in some of these relationships these men

779
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: is almost like they are in competition with you. You

780
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like somebody not telling you that

781
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 1: you're pretty, and when we're looking for that, like we

782
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: can go outside and like thirty other men are telling

783
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: us how beautiful you are. Right, But if that man

784
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: that's in the home with you or the man you're

785
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 1: with isn't doing that, it's abuse for women. I get

786
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: men who say something like, man, I don't be wanting

787
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 1: to say that to you because I know you hear

788
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:40,960
Speaker 1: that ship all day long and that's bullshit. So what

789
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 1: so yeah, I want to hear it from you too,

790
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:48,479
Speaker 1: Yo go, yo go. It's that exactly. Never get enough,

791
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: Never get enough. Number seven, focus on what you can control.

792
00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 1: Stop fucking worrying girl. That's my mantra. Yeah. I got

793
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: a tattoo on my middle finger, on my right middle finger,

794
00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: and it's apostrophe e M fuck them to all things uncontrollable.

795
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 1: And I got this tattoo like twenty years old. Okay,

796
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: So I always worry about little things. Big ship, I'd

797
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 1: be like, damn, fuck it, I just gotta deal with it.

798
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: But it'd be little things that give me a goddamn headache. Man,

799
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: But in a real way, like you really have to

800
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 1: be like fuck it and control of things that you

801
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:34,680
Speaker 1: can control. You can't control everything, but what you can't control,

802
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 1: do that ship? Yeah, because I mean I know me,

803
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 1: like I'll be on the airplane baby, having a whole

804
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 1: anxiety attack, Like, Lord, what is the pilot? Do it

805
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: up there? I can't control that. I just have to

806
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 1: be calm and just know that God got me and

807
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: whatever will be case Iraq Sara, whatever will be will be.

808
00:46:57,239 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: What I mean, Yeah, it's hard to surrender, you know

809
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And again this even comes through in relationships,

810
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 1: surrendering to your partner, surrendering like to a man that

811
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: is capable. It's hard for us because of how a

812
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 1: lot of us have been raised a strong black woman. Thing, like,

813
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:18,520
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna stop being a strong black woman

814
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,759
Speaker 1: when you get a strong black man, you might be

815
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,439
Speaker 1: trying to overpower that man. You're gonna run his ass

816
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 1: away because you can't submit, exactly. But that's hard. That's

817
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 1: you know, that's a hard thing for me. But just

818
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 1: because I come from a line of strong black women,

819
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: strong single as black women. Now that I think about it,

820
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 1: let's be clear, and it's hard to submit because you

821
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,879
Speaker 1: can't you especially when you're you know, you've been running

822
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: your own life successfully and then you gotta here come

823
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 1: this man and you want trusting with the finances and

824
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: trusting with it. I want to. I want that, but

825
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: I don't want as are usually the woman thing. You

826
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,880
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Smart men usually give their money

827
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 1: to of the woman because women are well okay, I

828
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,359
Speaker 1: was about to say, okay, because you do have some

829
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 1: people who are some women that are just bad with money,

830
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 1: and collectively black women have more debt, you know, because

831
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 1: we're getting the student we're getting the student loans and all, like, yeah,

832
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: we got the higher education, but we also come into

833
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: relationships and a lot of debt, credit card dat student

834
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: loan debt, tax debt, all that ship. You know, mean,

835
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:29,720
Speaker 1: while you're marrying a man who didn't go to college.

836
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,280
Speaker 1: Maybe he's a business owner, he's an entrepreneur. He didn't

837
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: come with all that ship, right number eight, Stop trying

838
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,839
Speaker 1: to be the hero. I hope you listening, bitch. It's

839
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 1: a bit out there that I know for a fact,

840
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 1: savor who but always save with somebody, always like always

841
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: finding a fixer upper of a person so she can

842
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: just go help their lives. You can't heal and fix

843
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: and rescue everyone, especially if you yourself aren't healed. So

844
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: sometimes you just need to focus your energy or rescue

845
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:12,479
Speaker 1: with your motherfucking self and stop trying to heal everybody else.

846
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: So I feel like those types of people are necessary helpers, heroes.

847
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,440
Speaker 1: They are necessary. But the problem is that the people

848
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 1: that they usually attract, our users, you know, they're not

849
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,879
Speaker 1: They're not the guys or the women who are gonna,

850
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: you know, get the help and and stay with him.

851
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,919
Speaker 1: Be don build this man up for the next bitch.

852
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 1: Me personally, I don't mind passing on a refurbished nigger.

853
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 1: I don't mind. Okay, if I helped him do something

854
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 1: and now you know he's a better person for the

855
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 1: next woman, then so be it. But women, I do

856
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 1: not suggest you ever building a man. They will resent

857
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: you when they do get on because you know them.

858
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,719
Speaker 1: You know somebody when they're really rich, and you know

859
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: the real person when they really poor, and you know

860
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:08,439
Speaker 1: ship fucked up right. Usually that's how it works out.

861
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 1: Like when Koye said, he leaves you asked for a

862
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:13,560
Speaker 1: white girl, like that's a real thing. M it's a

863
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,319
Speaker 1: real thing because men, men don't like that. He'll then

864
00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 1: go on to another woman who don't even know his

865
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:23,240
Speaker 1: struggle and do all the things you begged him to do.

866
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: Don't be the hero. Yeah, because a lot of times

867
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 1: you end up losing yourself and straight away from your

868
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 1: own trying to help someone else. So find the courage

869
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 1: to focus on rescuing and keeping yourself. Yeah, it's honey.

870
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: Number nine. Prioritize joy. Indulge in things that make you smile,

871
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 1: make you feel genuinely happy. Prioritize that into your life.

872
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: Tell me a thing, Tell me a thing that makes

873
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 1: you happy. Aside for money and family, food, I really

874
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:02,359
Speaker 1: enjoy food. I enjoy trying new foods. So if you're

875
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: someone who enjoys food, like prioritize going to different a

876
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 1: different restaurant and maybe even like let's say you can't

877
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,919
Speaker 1: afford a lot, going to try looking at their menu

878
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 1: and you're finding an advertiser that sounds really good and

879
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: going to try it, right, I'm yelled, queen. One of

880
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: the things that makes me happy, aside from family and

881
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: like money and ship like that are material things, is serving.

882
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 1: I like to cook and I like to serve people

883
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,839
Speaker 1: to food. And before I even make my plate, I'm

884
00:51:33,880 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 1: looking at you to get you to tell me, like

885
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 1: what's the score? Can I get a thumbs up? Like

886
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: how it tastes? Like how do you enjoy this? Yes,

887
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:44,400
Speaker 1: that ship makes me fucking happy. I literally used to

888
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 1: fight one of what one of my exes, girl, because

889
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: I would cook this nigga some food like take my time,

890
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: like even a burger, bitch is gonna be gore mate, Okay,

891
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 1: let's be clear, handmade, and he wouldn't eat immediately, and

892
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: that would piss me off so bad because I want

893
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: you to taste my food fresh, my mama, Yes, I

894
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 1: would recook your food on a stove just so you

895
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: can get like the full enjoyment out of its happy

896
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: coming eat it while it's hot. Yes, Actually, like why

897
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 1: is that an argument? Why I gotta argue with you

898
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 1: to come eat? You? Was just around here actel like

899
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 1: he was about to die from hunger, and now I

900
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,279
Speaker 1: actually take the time and cook for you, and like

901
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 1: you just got the fucking food sitting there getting cold.

902
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 1: That's that to me? That is like you don't have

903
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 1: any regard for my time, yeah, at all, because you

904
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 1: know what's gonna be out here cooking. Yeah, I'm bitches

905
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: right there cooking. You know what. It's crazy because I

906
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 1: haven't since I've been single, I have not been cooking

907
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 1: like I used to when I was in a relationship.

908
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 1: I used to be all on like different There's this

909
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: website called Diva's Can Cook, and I would go to

910
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 1: a different restaurants, I mean recipes and like like oh baby,

911
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: look when I'm making a day for you. I used

912
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 1: to be like making pineapple boats with teryaki chicken and

913
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,359
Speaker 1: rice and all and make it cute and giving him

914
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 1: drinks with little umbrellas in it, like uh yeah, a

915
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: real extra and the most. Now I got a single

916
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:19,000
Speaker 1: and a bit with door Dash, the funk out of food.

917
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,439
Speaker 1: That ship is too expensive, y'all, that damn door dash.

918
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: You you you be don orders out for seventeen dollars and

919
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 1: your dad your dad tab Yeah no, I'll be there

920
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:38,239
Speaker 1: to pick it up. Cancel. But whatever your joy looks like,

921
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 1: and it don't have to be nothing that you have

922
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 1: to buy. Dance into your favorite song, watching an episode

923
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 1: of your favorite show, reading your favorite book, wearing your

924
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 1: favorite shoes. Whatever joy looks like for you, do it, bit,

925
00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 1: start doing it, Start prioritizing it into your life. Okay,

926
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 1: because you look up and you ain't wore your favorite

927
00:53:56,840 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 1: shoes all year. You ain't dead. Oh yeah, you look up.

928
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,439
Speaker 1: You ain't dance, you all. It's three seasons of your show,

929
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 1: your favorite shoulder came out, and you ain't watched a

930
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 1: single episode. You have done nothing. You ain't prioritize your

931
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: joy at all. So let's get back to that and

932
00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:20,320
Speaker 1: to him the last one. Accept that you are worthy

933
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 1: and deserving mm hmm. You have to accept that. You

934
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,839
Speaker 1: have to decide it and believe it and accept that

935
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:32,399
Speaker 1: for yourself. That's the word. That's a big word, that

936
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:37,839
Speaker 1: word decide. I'm gonna give. Let me give, y'all a um.

937
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 1: I decided On Sunday, I decidedly. I don't know if

938
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 1: you looked at my story, but it looked like scribble

939
00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 1: scratched the people. I don't know if people. If you

940
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: guys know what a sigil is. A sigil, it's like

941
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 1: it's a magic ship. Right. So you take a phrase

942
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:56,879
Speaker 1: or an affirmation, write you write it down, and then

943
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 1: you take the letters from this phrase or after amation,

944
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 1: and you arrange it into a photo. You arrange it

945
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: into a picture. So like if if you're saying, I decide,

946
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 1: you take the letters out of those words and you

947
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 1: you can do this on the computer. You could do

948
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: a free hand, but you arrange them in a certain way,

949
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 1: you know, and you put it out there. You might

950
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:23,600
Speaker 1: want to burn it, but you gotta charge it up,

951
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:26,360
Speaker 1: charge it up, you know what. Maybe you dance around it,

952
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 1: maybe you have sex around it, maybe you just meditate

953
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: around it. Whatever it is that you charge it up, right,

954
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,920
Speaker 1: pray around it. Yep. You put it out there and

955
00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:36,680
Speaker 1: you get rid of it, forget about it and watch

956
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:41,480
Speaker 1: how shit fucking manifest. On Sunday, I had a sigil

957
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 1: on my story and this guy. Are you calling him

958
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: my husband? Anyway? So my husband messaged me and he

959
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: was like, what what what? What is this? I said,

960
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: it's a sigil and all it says is I decide.

961
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,919
Speaker 1: I decided. It actually said I decided I can send

962
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: it to you, m And I was I was making

963
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: a decision about multiple things. I was following out with

964
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 1: a home girl. All these different things was happening. But

965
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:12,839
Speaker 1: I made out my mind on Sunday about a lot

966
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:16,319
Speaker 1: of things. And I was laying in bed last night

967
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: and I realized that the things I decided on or

968
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 1: against everything in my fucking favor, everything and in my favor.

969
00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:34,600
Speaker 1: As a Monday Sunday, I did this thing, and I'm like, damn,

970
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Because I'm like, okay, I'm gonna let me,

971
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:40,200
Speaker 1: let me break it down just a little bit more.

972
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: So me and this friend were we fell out right.

973
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: So I'm I was supposed to be going to her

974
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 1: wed and this Saturday, I'm not. I'm no longer going

975
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,800
Speaker 1: to the wed and I I lit another friend convinced

976
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 1: me to tell her I wasn't coming. But obviously she

977
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: wasn't expecting me because she had a whole bridle shower

978
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,319
Speaker 1: yesterday that I wasn't invited to, but so be it.

979
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 1: But I decide that's one of the things I decided

980
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: on on that Sunday, right, and on Monday, I got

981
00:57:05,120 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 1: a big opportunity that came to me Monday for the

982
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: same day as her wedding. Mm hmm. So once I

983
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: decided that I'm letting this relationship go, other doors opened up. Right.

984
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 1: Look at God, So decide, Yeah, that's where the magic started.

985
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: It starts in your mind. Wants you to decide you

986
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: don't need anything to deserve the soft life. It doesn't

987
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 1: have to be earned. When we believe and we decide

988
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,960
Speaker 1: we're worthy of a life guided by ease and comfort,

989
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: we will reject things that don't align with that vision

990
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: and make decisions that get us closer to maintaining that lifestyle. So, ladies,

991
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 1: decide today that you deserve the soft life, and then

992
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna have it all right. I love y'all. I

993
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,919
Speaker 1: love y'all for real. Why am I so filled with love?

994
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's gratitude. It's a gift and occurs sometimes.

995
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 1: But when I say I love y'all mean that ship

996
00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: I do. So y'all take this list. This comes from

997
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:09,200
Speaker 1: exo Nicole dot com if you want to go back

998
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,400
Speaker 1: over it and read it for yourself. But you can

999
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 1: always just listen to our show again and stream it.

1000
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: So look not to say we're weak, because we ain't

1001
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 1: weak at all, right, but we real delicate like a

1002
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 1: bomb careful, right versus a flower. Be careful with black women.

1003
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 1: So when we say we're strong, like, yeah, it's a

1004
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:40,280
Speaker 1: real thing, but just be careful, be real, real careful,

1005
00:58:40,840 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 1: because the goddamn univers don't play about us. That's what

1006
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 1: I do know. Okay, it just doesn't. But you don't

1007
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 1: have to be strong no more. Let go really surrender.

1008
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 1: So whatever that life to the soft life. Here's to

1009
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 1: the soft life, ladies. Listen, we got our consultations up on.

1010
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: We talked back E n T dot com right, so

1011
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,160
Speaker 1: you can literally book a session to talk to either

1012
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:10,640
Speaker 1: one of us or both of us, whatever you want

1013
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 1: to do, y'all. Check it out is we talk back

1014
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:17,439
Speaker 1: I n T dot com right. Call me if y'all

1015
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: need me to tell y'all how much I love y'all individuals.

1016
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 1: Y'all can't do that, I will, right, Yeah, but we're

1017
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: gonna have merch coming soon. It's just a process. It's

1018
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 1: a whole process, girl. But at least we've got a

1019
00:59:31,360 --> 00:59:37,200
Speaker 1: website now and it's really nice. First of all, Um,

1020
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 1: the lovely von Schelle one of my friends, good friends

1021
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,560
Speaker 1: off events that I met her on Instagram, but she's

1022
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 1: also from the low Country. Child. When I tell you,

1023
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 1: God sent God for real for all. Anyway, listen, I

1024
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode. It gave me um a lot of insights.

1025
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,160
Speaker 1: So listen, guys, if you enjoyed this episode, please is

1026
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 1: tuning every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or

1027
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 1: wherever the fuck you get your podcast at. This is

1028
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: your co host, aj Holiday two point oh. On instagrams,

1029
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:13,760
Speaker 1: y'all follow us, and again that website is we Talk

1030
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:16,800
Speaker 1: Back in n T dot com. Y'all check it out. Um,

1031
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 1: still more updates coming up on it, but yeah, it's

1032
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: out there. Send us some dumb bad stories, the ask

1033
01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 1: a black friend questions all that good. Shoot. If y'all

1034
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 1: see some funny ship online, send it to us too,

1035
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: all right, y'all follow me on Instagram official tam Bam.

1036
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: I love y'all. That's all I got coming up. God

1037
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 1: bless you, good night, Remember speak now and never hold

1038
01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:40,200
Speaker 1: your piece