Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Denglert and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: This is Dean Ungler, joined as always by Jared Haven,
Speaker 1: but we've got a very special co host with us today.
Speaker 1: She comes from Bachelor in Paradise season eight, most notably.
Speaker 1: And I say that because I just don't remember what
Speaker 1: Bachelor's season she was on. But it is Jillian Chin
Speaker 1: joining us all the way from Newport, Rhode Island. Joel,
Speaker 1: what's going on? Hey guys? Yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've heard that, but that was the audience that making
Speaker 1: a very loud round of applause. So we're happy to
Speaker 1: have you here. Um, what's going on? So we were
Speaker 1: just talking before um starting this recording that you live
Speaker 1: in Rhode Island, five minutes away from Jared right now.
Speaker 1: That blew my mind. I do. Yeah, I just moved
Speaker 1: down to Newport, which is closer towards Jerry. Are you
Speaker 1: sure you don't have in Newport, California? Are you certain
Speaker 1: it's not Newport, California? Which coast are you on? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I'm pretty certain. I'm definitely an East Coast girl through
Speaker 1: and through. I just don't like the West Coast for living,
Speaker 1: for visiting. It's great, but just not for you. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Jared feels me on that. Yeah, that's how I feel
Speaker 1: about that. But the opposite. Actually, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Only just recently had a big earthquake and I was like,
Speaker 1: I God, I wasn't there. Even though earthquakes, I guess
Speaker 1: aren't the scariest thing when you really think about it,
Speaker 1: I just get terrified of just waiting for that fall
Speaker 1: to a round. Yeah, a big building falling on top
Speaker 1: of you. That, yeah, pretty much. I've always wanted I've
Speaker 1: always wanted to live on the East Coast. I just
Speaker 1: I don't think I could handle it. There's like a
Speaker 1: certain way of life that you go through on the
Speaker 1: East Coast. It's like high pace, really forward and like
Speaker 1: cranky people, but they're getting the job done, so it's okay.
Speaker 1: I don't think I literally I don't think I would
Speaker 1: thrive very well on that atmosphere. Yeah. I like that
Speaker 1: so much better than just like lazing around, like I
Speaker 1: just can't. I just can't do it. It's on my bonus, No,
Speaker 1: I mean, I respect that, but thank you so much
Speaker 1: for joining us. Like I said, Bachelor Paradise season eight. Um,
Speaker 1: but what Bachelor's season were you on? You were on Clayton.
Speaker 1: She was on Clayton's. I remember the first night, the
Speaker 1: very first night we opened Audrey's. It was slammed in
Speaker 1: there and I was bartending, and it was like a
Speaker 1: reality of like, Okay, now I'm back into the weeds
Speaker 1: of things after years of not bartending, Like here we go.
Speaker 1: And it was the first night, and so obviously there
Speaker 1: were a lot of Bachelor fans there and then come
Speaker 1: in like trying to say, you know, Ashley was there
Speaker 1: mingling blah blah blah blah. So I'm making drinks and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, this girl walks up and you ordered.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you ordered for me or not.
Speaker 1: But then she goes by the way, um, Jared, I'm
Speaker 1: on this season Bachelor. I couldn't hear her and I
Speaker 1: was like what, and she was like, I'm on this
Speaker 1: season of the Bachelor, and I was like, what the hell.
Speaker 1: That's awesome, And then obviously ended up being Jill and I.
Speaker 1: We didn't really talk that night just because it was
Speaker 1: so chaotic, but I don't know how if you exchanged
Speaker 1: some Ashley or me or how we got in contact,
Speaker 1: but then we ended up hanging out together and you
Speaker 1: came back to Audrey's and we got to get to
Speaker 1: know you and Jill is just the best and and
Speaker 1: that was the first time we ever met each other.
Speaker 1: So crazy. Yeah, I know, I feel like that's kind
Speaker 1: of like an embarrassing but not theing. I just like
Speaker 1: showed up. I literally just showed up to like the
Speaker 1: craziest night. If I was like, Hi, like, it's not weird,
Speaker 1: I would have done the exact same thing. It's like
Speaker 1: weird because you were you literally were like twenty minutes
Speaker 1: away from Like, oh, I'm like, because once you're it's
Speaker 1: I guess it's weird. I wouldn't look back on it weirdly.
Speaker 1: I guess you know, at the time it might have
Speaker 1: been a little weird, but like now that you're part
Speaker 1: of this Bachelor family for of a better term, which
Speaker 1: it is a family, like you understand that it's For example, Dean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that you've heard stories have done it yourself
Speaker 1: where you've reached out to other people within Bachelor to
Speaker 1: crash at their place when you're traveling, Was that you, Dean? Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I've never done that, but I've heard some very funny,
Speaker 1: nightmarish stories about that. Yeah, I don't know who was.
Speaker 1: We were hearing a story about a guy who was
Speaker 1: like a couple of guys like going around and like, hey,
Speaker 1: this guy lives in Denver, Like I should just reach
Speaker 1: out to him he was on that season, Like he'll
Speaker 1: know who I am, and they end up crashing there
Speaker 1: in his guest bedroom. Well, I've heard some funny stories
Speaker 1: about Ben Higgins offering his place up to some people.
Speaker 1: I think that's the story you're prop now. It's yeah,
Speaker 1: it's coming back to me now. Yeah, I mean I'm
Speaker 1: not saying it's a good idea. I'm just saying it happens. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not that weird. But you're right, especially in hindsight,
Speaker 1: it's not. Um, so you just showed up at Jared's
Speaker 1: bar and you're like, Hey, I'm gonna be on the
Speaker 1: season in the back. That's I mean, that's I think
Speaker 1: that's a power move. I think that takes a lot
Speaker 1: of bravery and a lot of courier It's really cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like at that time, I was so like lost.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what to expect, like the season hadn't aired, it,
Speaker 1: like nothing had happened yet, and I was just like
Speaker 1: sitting with all of this like knowledge and all of
Speaker 1: this anxiety about the future. And so I'm so glad
Speaker 1: that I had Jared nastionally to kind of shepherd me
Speaker 1: through the process, because that was it's nerve wracking. It's crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and Ashley loves doing that to Jared as well.
Speaker 1: But when I was going through the whole Bachelor stuff,
Speaker 1: Ashley acted as my shepherd as well, so she was
Speaker 1: helpful helping me make decisions and uh, which you know,
Speaker 1: you guys make great decisions, but I sometimes you put
Speaker 1: a lot of your faith in someone you don't even
Speaker 1: know at all, and it's well, yeah, it's more like
Speaker 1: for Ashley and I I think, especially now, we're our
Speaker 1: advice for Jill. When Jill you were like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I should do Paradise, and it was like
Speaker 1: just we were just like, just go and be unapologetically yourself,
Speaker 1: cry like do like go crazy because that's just who
Speaker 1: you are and people are gonna love you for that.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, play it out exactly as actually
Speaker 1: and I assumed it would, which is like you, I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously we're hoping that you find love the most most importantly,
Speaker 1: But through that process, I I felt like You're gonna
Speaker 1: be very Ashley like in terms of you just like
Speaker 1: just saying exactly what's on your mind with no filter
Speaker 1: and just being so emotional and so fantastic. And I
Speaker 1: feel like so many people love you for just being
Speaker 1: yourself and and and not being afraid of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely did take your advice. I remember being like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I should do Paradise, like blah blah.
Speaker 1: I was sot on it. But then once I did
Speaker 1: it and I'm helping you guys, I knew you guys
Speaker 1: were going to so I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like this will be good, Like I all my friends
Speaker 1: are there, and yeah, I just kind of really sent
Speaker 1: it and I just kind of went like full send,
Speaker 1: and I was unapology entically myself. Like people ask me
Speaker 1: all the time, like are you really like that in
Speaker 1: real life? And it's like kind of like kind of
Speaker 1: just like a heightened version, I guess, just because like
Speaker 1: you know, all of the factors that go in. But dude, sauce.
Speaker 1: Why then are you biting me? Get away whatever? Anyways, Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, Paradise was just a moment in time. Well,
Speaker 1: let's talk about Paradise because I'm curious. Okay, how was
Speaker 1: it as a whole experience for you? Because like, it's
Speaker 1: obviously one thing to take advice from Jared and Ashley
Speaker 1: who are happily married with a child. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: and I guess me too because Caleb and I are
Speaker 1: you know, soon to be wet as well. But how
Speaker 1: was it for you? Because we saw you date Jacob predominantly?
Speaker 1: I mean that was the big story. That was like
Speaker 1: the main story arc in my opinion, was you and
Speaker 1: Jacob and um, but and then you you guys like
Speaker 1: broke up. But then we saw that you might have
Speaker 1: gotten back together. But then but then we didn't really
Speaker 1: know much you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean, okay, so
Speaker 1: Paradise as a whole, I feel like immediately when I left,
Speaker 1: I was like, that was the worst thing ever, never
Speaker 1: ever contact me ever again. I hate this so much.
Speaker 1: Like that was when I first left. But then after
Speaker 1: I you know, it was reminiscing like okay, that was
Speaker 1: kind of fun. And then you know, then it started
Speaker 1: to air, and I was watching myself go like having
Speaker 1: these feelings for people, and then with Jacob it kind
Speaker 1: of was like, oh, like do I still have feelings?
Speaker 1: Like I don't know. We started to talk like during
Speaker 1: that time, and then we were filming the reunion and
Speaker 1: I got to see him and it was just like
Speaker 1: I was sober. I was conflicted for such a long time,
Speaker 1: like Jared, and it was like I called up like
Speaker 1: him and Ashley, and I was like, what do I
Speaker 1: do about this? Like I was. We were having issues
Speaker 1: like long before we even filmed the reunion, and then
Speaker 1: the reunion aired and then he hard launched it and
Speaker 1: then immediately it was awful and it was really bad.
Speaker 1: It was really bad. But trust is broken. I found
Speaker 1: out things that I could not find out and I
Speaker 1: had to break up with them and it was really bad.
Speaker 1: And you did the right thing first and foremost. Let's
Speaker 1: just put that in the year. Don't ever forget that,
Speaker 1: which is sure that was the right move. Like Jacob
Speaker 1: is very nice, man, I'm not saying that like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got along with him in Paradise, but you and
Speaker 1: this is no disrespect to Jacob. This is more of
Speaker 1: my respect towards you, Jill, but you can do so
Speaker 1: much better. Oh I know, I know. And I was
Speaker 1: just like we were having those conversations. I was having
Speaker 1: those conversations with a lot of people in my life
Speaker 1: during that time. I was like, do I really want
Speaker 1: to commit part, like part of my life to this
Speaker 1: dude right now? Can he even does he have the capability?
Speaker 1: Does he like to connect with me on this level?
Speaker 1: Like all those things were running through my mind, and
Speaker 1: then I think it was just the nail mccoffin, you know,
Speaker 1: like I found out some information that was really the
Speaker 1: mail mccoffin, and I was like, all right, like this
Speaker 1: is my out. I'm the leave, good luck and good ridding.
Speaker 1: Don't you feel Don't you feel so like vindicated when
Speaker 1: you like because a lot of times, uh maybe I'm
Speaker 1: just speaking for myself here, but a lot of times
Speaker 1: in my past relationships, you know, you know things are
Speaker 1: going bad, but there isn't like one thing where you
Speaker 1: can be like, all right, that's the thing that's going
Speaker 1: to get me out of here, and then something bad
Speaker 1: happens and you're like, well that's perfect, That's exactly what
Speaker 1: I was waiting for. Now, I'm not going to be
Speaker 1: a bad guy because you made the mistake and I
Speaker 1: wanted out in the first place. Yeah, yeah, I definitely
Speaker 1: felt vindicated for sure. It wasn't what I wanted, Like
Speaker 1: I wanted him to, you know, like do a one
Speaker 1: eight and turn into this great like Prince charminga that
Speaker 1: was perfect for me, but that was never going to happen.
Speaker 1: So when it was kind of like thrown in my
Speaker 1: face like this is you know, the universe was really
Speaker 1: telling me this is not the path to go on,
Speaker 1: I was relieved. I was sad, and then I was relieved.
Speaker 1: The day It's just embarrassing, though, I'll be no, come on,
Speaker 1: it wasn't embarrassing, but it is. Especially it is especially
Speaker 1: challenging when you're getting a lot of input from people
Speaker 1: you've never met telling you how great you guys are together,
Speaker 1: which I would imagine you and Jacob were receiving and
Speaker 1: then and then you had you like, wow, maybe we
Speaker 1: really argued together, but in reality you're not good together.
Speaker 1: But you're probably to convince yourself you are. Yes. I
Speaker 1: was like, everyone's like, oh my god, they're made for
Speaker 1: each other, and I'm like, where are we? Like I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I was willing to give it a
Speaker 1: shot because we did have like fun, you know, like
Speaker 1: but fun just isn't enough to sustain a relationship. And
Speaker 1: so yeah, that was tough having to deal with like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like do having to deal with public
Speaker 1: perception and having to deal with people be so sad
Speaker 1: like invested in this relationship that I wasn't even that
Speaker 1: invisteded to begin with. Um, yeah, it was just that
Speaker 1: was that was hard. And then knowing that, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like because when the reunion aired, we were we were
Speaker 1: like still together. It was good. Then shortly after that,
Speaker 1: like people still thought we were together and they were
Speaker 1: expecting like you know, Jacob and Jill content like you know,
Speaker 1: all of that, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I have to tell these people this over and I
Speaker 1: can't say why, and like all of these it was
Speaker 1: just crazy. Can you say why here? Um, I think
Speaker 1: I kind of alluded to I've alluded to a lot,
Speaker 1: like you know and everything that I've said in other
Speaker 1: podcasts and like to the media. Um, but yeah, the
Speaker 1: trust had been broken, and I think people can kind
Speaker 1: of read between the lines what that means. Let's just
Speaker 1: get all of the presumptory, presump presumptuary stuff out of
Speaker 1: the way, can you. Let's just just let's just let's
Speaker 1: just put it all out there. Let's just say what
Speaker 1: it is. I don't know if I'm gonna say what
Speaker 1: it is, but it was I don't want to say
Speaker 1: direct infidelity, but maybe um, you know how in like
Speaker 1: legal terms, there's like, um, it's not murder, but it's
Speaker 1: like intent to murder. It's like intent to you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think Jacob was just not in the headspace or
Speaker 1: ready to be in a committed relationship with anybody. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. And I mean, God bless him, but
Speaker 1: it just was not what I deserved or was looking
Speaker 1: for at the time. And you know, yeah, well, I
Speaker 1: guess that's tough, especially, like I said, with the social
Speaker 1: pressure of it all too. It's it's you see it
Speaker 1: time and time again with with men, especially coming off
Speaker 1: these shows, especially you know, like, for lack of a
Speaker 1: better word, mediocre men. Jacob myself included. I do I
Speaker 1: fall into this category as well. You go into this
Speaker 1: show and you're just a regular guy going about your life,
Speaker 1: and then you go on the show, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, you get a lot of attention that
Speaker 1: you're not used to, and and time and time get
Speaker 1: time and time again. Guys go on the show and
Speaker 1: they get that attention and they think that they are
Speaker 1: the best thing since sliced bread, and they you know,
Speaker 1: they forget a lot of the things about what makes
Speaker 1: them themselves and they just want to party and hook
Speaker 1: up with girls peer lack of a better phrase. So
Speaker 1: U yeah, Yeah, the experience of a guy going on
Speaker 1: this show is much different than the experience of a
Speaker 1: woman going on this show, Oh for sure. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think that because the fan base is mostly female and
Speaker 1: then just all the attention that you get, and guys
Speaker 1: aren't I mean a lot of them haven't watched the
Speaker 1: show before. I didn't really watch the show before, but
Speaker 1: I kind of knew what I was getting into. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like we describe it as new cool, like
Speaker 1: they've never kind of been in this space or no
Speaker 1: what it feels like in some guys, like, you know,
Speaker 1: they haven't maybe they grew up and they weren't like
Speaker 1: super attractive, but then they you know, they've had this renaissance. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so, and it's on such a national level, so
Speaker 1: I feel like it's new cool. And then I've also
Speaker 1: heard the term bachelor head, like guys get bachelor heads
Speaker 1: my gut, Like, yeah, that's funny. I've never heard that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: bachelor head definitely a thing. And I think Jacob did
Speaker 1: suffer from bachelor head, and maybe it's still suffering from
Speaker 1: bachelor head. But that's his own journey and you will
Speaker 1: be able to touch I always tell people, like, you know,
Speaker 1: even when I'm excited for my friends, I'm happy for
Speaker 1: their wins, would have always like touched grass because this
Speaker 1: is fleeting and you have to remember who you are,
Speaker 1: so you know, you have to have pillars of truth
Speaker 1: that you touch, and you know, to touch grass every
Speaker 1: once in a while. I do gotta say one thing.
Speaker 1: I gotta to Jared's horn real quick. I've done four
Speaker 1: seasons of Bachelor Too, Paradise, one Winner Games, one regular Bachelorette.
Speaker 1: I've met a lot of guys on this show, and
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of guys get bachelor head. Jared
Speaker 1: is one of the very few guys. Uh, there's probably
Speaker 1: a handful, maybe two handfuls of guys that I know
Speaker 1: from the Bachelor. Again, this is across eighty guys that
Speaker 1: didn't get bachelor head, Jared, I feel like always had
Speaker 1: a pretty good head on the shoulders in that respect,
Speaker 1: especially like you were never like going out party and
Speaker 1: like trying to hook up with chicks. You were like,
Speaker 1: we're focusing on so many other things at all times,
Speaker 1: even when you were single and Moss Angeles. No, well
Speaker 1: thanks bro. But also I had my moments. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sit here and be like, oh, I
Speaker 1: never had bachelor head at any moment, but of course
Speaker 1: every time we're out. Dude, when I first went after
Speaker 1: the show and tean you could part relate to this,
Speaker 1: and then it happens. It's almost like a shock, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'll never forget when the first after like Bachelor
Speaker 1: started airing, people wanted to meet me and take pictures
Speaker 1: with me. It was more so like, hey, guys, I'm
Speaker 1: not that cool, like I promise you this is weird.
Speaker 1: It was much more of a shot and then it
Speaker 1: kind of settles in, and of course I had like
Speaker 1: moments of weakness. But yeah, I I appreciate you saying
Speaker 1: that where it didn't like encompass my life, I'm saying
Speaker 1: more specifically, you never you never leveraged it to hook
Speaker 1: up with people. I think, at least in my observation,
Speaker 1: I just leveraged my natural boy looks and uh, you
Speaker 1: used it to you leverage it to get on video
Speaker 1: game and Star Wars movie fan trivia. Damn Ryan, I
Speaker 1: still do Collider. I missed those days when I went
Speaker 1: on movie talk and I would do with the showdown. Dude.
Speaker 1: I know it's so funny because um yeah, I would
Speaker 1: leverage my bachelor days to do that. But Jell, I
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you too. So recently, obviously you were
Speaker 1: at Audrey's. Andrew and Justin were there, and then you
Speaker 1: posted into stories and tiktoks of like Justin and Andrew
Speaker 1: on the floor rolling around. What the hell were you
Speaker 1: guys doing? So yeah, like I because I was gonna
Speaker 1: leave Audrey's and I was like all right, like I
Speaker 1: just wanted to see them. I was like, all right, guys,
Speaker 1: like I'll be just like, no, we want to hang out.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, well it's a Monday night, like
Speaker 1: there's everywhere is closed. It was like eleven o'clock and
Speaker 1: I was like, you can just come like back to
Speaker 1: my place in Newport if you want, And so they
Speaker 1: came back here and I had a couple of drinks
Speaker 1: and they were just going off, like I I, they're
Speaker 1: so freaking funny and we would I was. It was
Speaker 1: like a show for me. It was amazing. I was
Speaker 1: just like sitting watching them like just boop boop, like
Speaker 1: two brain cells just like you know, bumping into each other.
Speaker 1: And oh my god, it was just so funny. And
Speaker 1: I hadn't really known Justin. They hadn't really talked to
Speaker 1: Justin while even though we're in Paradise the other thing.
Speaker 1: You think we would have mingled, like we did not mingle,
Speaker 1: And so I got to know him a lot that night,
Speaker 1: and that was just so funny. They're the best. They
Speaker 1: are just hilarious. And anytime I like, any chance I get,
Speaker 1: I feeled to talk to people from the show or
Speaker 1: just see them because I there's no other opportunities for
Speaker 1: me to like, you know, meet up with them. So
Speaker 1: if they're in town, like I'm going to say, let's
Speaker 1: hang out, um, but oh my god, they were just
Speaker 1: on another one. I don't know, there's can you help
Speaker 1: shut some light on that relationship with me? Because they
Speaker 1: seem like really good friends And as as you're talking
Speaker 1: about them now I think they are as well. But
Speaker 1: on the on Bachelor in Paradise, it seemed like they
Speaker 1: were like combatants against each other and they didn't seem
Speaker 1: like they had a friendship at all. But then you
Speaker 1: see them on social media afterwards and they're like best friends. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean I definitely saw that with like Rodney and
Speaker 1: Justin and then I mean at times like Andrew would
Speaker 1: be like really down or Justin would be really down,
Speaker 1: and like, I feel like we can all we were
Speaker 1: all critical of each other's position at one point, or
Speaker 1: critical of each other's actions. Like there's one time where
Speaker 1: Andrew said that, like, my parents are going to be
Speaker 1: so embarrassed of me, Like it was like you're an
Speaker 1: embarrassment to nature and God, I was like, I know, um,
Speaker 1: But I think that once we were taking out of
Speaker 1: that environment, like obviously everyone super supportive, kind of see
Speaker 1: things through a clearer lens, and so I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, even even Rodney and Justin are cool, you know,
Speaker 1: like they they'll hang out and they're cool, even though
Speaker 1: they had the disagreement overallies it and all that. But
Speaker 1: I honestly think that once you're out of that space
Speaker 1: and kind of like get your head down straight. You
Speaker 1: realize like your boys are your boy You know that's true.
Speaker 1: Do you? Is there anyone from your season that you
Speaker 1: don't get along with? Oh yeah, yes, like actively, how
Speaker 1: to think of anybody in Purtis that you had feud with?
Speaker 1: I mean like Ra, I was just about to say,
Speaker 1: I know, like you and Cira had a thing, but
Speaker 1: that was because of Romeo. Yeah, Cira and Romeo. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Romeo is now single single again. I know I hadn't
Speaker 1: really I haven't talked to Romeo really since Heire and
Speaker 1: I have talked since, and like we're fine. We're just
Speaker 1: like okay, like bygones Bygones's fine. I'm not like we're
Speaker 1: not actively like the bff. So, but there are definitely
Speaker 1: some there's some girls for my season that I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like I realized really soon after I left The Bachelor.
Speaker 1: I'm I was like, oh my god, like we're all
Speaker 1: going to be such good friends, like we went through
Speaker 1: this experience together. But then I realized that I've only
Speaker 1: known these people for like three weeks Max and I
Speaker 1: don't really know who they are, and when they start
Speaker 1: to show me their true colors, I have to believe
Speaker 1: them regardless of what experience we went through together. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that definitely my perception has evolved and changed on some people.
Speaker 1: But obviously I respect anybody that goes through this process
Speaker 1: and I'll be there, like there for them if they
Speaker 1: gave me. But there's some girls that I'm like, not
Speaker 1: really keen to hang out with, but love them and
Speaker 1: support them. I wish you all the best. You know,
Speaker 1: that's a really that's a really good presence of mind
Speaker 1: to have that you're because you want to have their
Speaker 1: back because you should through this shared experience. But uh,
Speaker 1: then they start to do things that you question and
Speaker 1: you're like, well, maybe I don't know this person and
Speaker 1: maybe I should make a bit of a separation between them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, But I think that's in any sort of relationship.
Speaker 1: You know, how did you get on the show in
Speaker 1: the first place? Did you get nominated? You apply? Not
Speaker 1: I applied, good for you applied. Applying takes balls. It
Speaker 1: was it was, honestly, goose like. It was just like
Speaker 1: a little bit because I didn't watched the show before,
Speaker 1: and then I started to watch My James this season
Speaker 1: because it's a pandemic, and I was like, I'm bored
Speaker 1: um So, and I always referenced this clip. I saw
Speaker 1: a clip on like Facebook or something and it was
Speaker 1: Anna Redmond and she was saying she's entertaining men for money,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was like, what is the show?
Speaker 1: I remember that? That was t that was crazy? Well,
Speaker 1: remember because didn't she do something with her mouth? Wasn't
Speaker 1: that the thing where she was like from? It was
Speaker 1: so good? It was so yeah, it was iconic, and
Speaker 1: I mean all those at Firs expense and I loved
Speaker 1: Brett um So. That got me kind of hooked. It
Speaker 1: got me kind of hooked on the show, and I
Speaker 1: started watching that season and then I broke up my
Speaker 1: boyfriend of two years, not related. It wasn't like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna break up, but the only guy on the show
Speaker 1: I just like broke up with. A couple of months later,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to apply for the Bachelor
Speaker 1: L O L. And then they kept calling me back
Speaker 1: and I was like, all right, you remember the first
Speaker 1: phone call you got? Yeah, I do. I was June four.
Speaker 1: I remember it very specifically. I was, yeah, I was
Speaker 1: really shocked. I didn't think they were going to call
Speaker 1: me back. I'm like oh my god. Yeah, like the
Speaker 1: next round, okay, like next round of interviews. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: not going to call me back. Very strange, and they
Speaker 1: kept calling what that's awesome? Did your exploit? Did your
Speaker 1: ex boyfriend of two years ever reach out to you
Speaker 1: or anything after you went on the show? Oh? Well,
Speaker 1: he's in like my friend group, and like my friend
Speaker 1: group is very incestual, and so everybody in the group
Speaker 1: has had a relationship with somebody else. So I see
Speaker 1: him all the time, and he's just like, yeah, you're crazy,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, well, so wait a minute, So
Speaker 1: you see your ex all the time? Yeah, he is
Speaker 1: he dating someone? No, he has dated people like he's
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, he's on the apps and goes on
Speaker 1: dates whatever, but he doesn't have a girlfriend. Interesting, I
Speaker 1: just friends with your ex. Is It's obviously such a
Speaker 1: topic we cover all the time on in this podcast,
Speaker 1: but it's fascinating because I will stick by my, uh
Speaker 1: my stance that it's just not gonna work. There's no
Speaker 1: way you can be friends. I'm sorry. I believe that
Speaker 1: one day you will have to be forced to not
Speaker 1: be friends with this human being. I don't think so
Speaker 1: in my case. On thing. So because I only see
Speaker 1: him in like, you know, he's in the group chat,
Speaker 1: or he's you know, at friends giving and I'll see
Speaker 1: him then, or like at any function. But I when
Speaker 1: I say I don't have any romantic feelings, that we
Speaker 1: don't have any romantic feelings for each other, at least
Speaker 1: I can stay on my part. I truly mean it, um,
Speaker 1: But it's I mean, it's not like we're texting, you know,
Speaker 1: we're not you know, we're not interacting one on one.
Speaker 1: So I think in a group setting, I think it's
Speaker 1: a little different. Um. And just because I'm so over
Speaker 1: that relationship that I think, yeah, it wouldn't be possible
Speaker 1: for me to ever be like, right, maybe you were
Speaker 1: going to explore this again, because I just don't think
Speaker 1: I know for a fact, we just aren't right for
Speaker 1: each other. I used to always be very I used
Speaker 1: to always be very pro friends with x is um.
Speaker 1: But then the longer and further I got into the
Speaker 1: relationship with Kalen, the more I was like, that's maybe
Speaker 1: not a thing that people should do. Not like, I
Speaker 1: don't just like if you're single, being friend with the
Speaker 1: next totally okay, but it's just weird. Especially, like you said, Jill,
Speaker 1: if it's one thing if you're interacting in the group
Speaker 1: chat or group settings, but if you're like texting sidebar
Speaker 1: conversations with that person, it's maybe a little bit different.
Speaker 1: So it's definitely changed my stance on that. Let me
Speaker 1: let me play a hypothetical game with you, Jillian. So say, like,
Speaker 1: let's say hypothetically, you know you're dating someone you know,
Speaker 1: and then this guy is like, oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: I just feel like you should know that I'm still
Speaker 1: friends with somebody I dated for two years, and you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: and then you find out that they, like, you know,
Speaker 1: they're just in the group. They never hang out separately,
Speaker 1: but like you know that, like, oh, you're going to
Speaker 1: the friends Thanksgiving? Is that bitch going to be there? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then he's like, well, yeah, she'll be there, and
Speaker 1: you're like, huh, well that would be cool if you
Speaker 1: could go, but you're not because I hate her and
Speaker 1: I'm not. I don't know, what do you think, do
Speaker 1: you think? I don't know. It's tough though, when you
Speaker 1: put yourself in that position, because I think about it,
Speaker 1: you know, being friends with an X, because like you said,
Speaker 1: you're like oh, of course I could be cool with it,
Speaker 1: but to Dean's poor And I think the more you
Speaker 1: get into a relationship with somebody, the more difficult it
Speaker 1: is for the other person to be okay with you
Speaker 1: friends with the next like hanging out with that X
Speaker 1: when you're not they're not even solo, but just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm hanging out with my my group friends and you're like, okay, Well,
Speaker 1: that group of friends also includes someone that you dated
Speaker 1: for a very long time, and it's just like weird
Speaker 1: for me for you to just go and hang out
Speaker 1: in a social setting with this person. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it's a little different for me because literally
Speaker 1: every single person in my friend group has dated another member,
Speaker 1: and I think it's so strange when other people come in,
Speaker 1: you know, when we bring introduced new people are significant others.
Speaker 1: They are also very weary of this because it is strange.
Speaker 1: But I literally consider those people of my family and
Speaker 1: so like, I don't know, it's just it's really strange.
Speaker 1: So pretty much, you have your own little bachelor friend
Speaker 1: group that was never on the show, which has ended
Speaker 1: up hooking up with everybody, yes, yes, over like years
Speaker 1: and years and years, and it's so strange, and people
Speaker 1: don't understand. We've had it's been it's a very contentious
Speaker 1: subject with significant others within the group. I mean that
Speaker 1: has been a common theme. But I think that there's
Speaker 1: always you know, if you don't trust somebody, there's a
Speaker 1: reason why you wouldn't trust them to begin with that
Speaker 1: you have to I guess there is this assumption that, oh,
Speaker 1: if you're around this accent, you will be tempted to cheat,
Speaker 1: or you will be tempted, you know, like there is
Speaker 1: that kind of there's that premonition perhaps that it could happen.
Speaker 1: It's not that I wouldn't like I would assume that, Like,
Speaker 1: for example, if it was me and Ashley, I would
Speaker 1: never think, oh, Ashley is gonna go out and cheat
Speaker 1: on me. It's more so like I trust you, Ashley.
Speaker 1: I don't trust that person to try to make a
Speaker 1: move on you and you have just like one moment
Speaker 1: of weakness, because that's all it takes. Like I've I've
Speaker 1: had experiences before. We're like I was dating someone and
Speaker 1: they just had like a moment of weakness and con
Speaker 1: changed the relationships. Like she really she didn't actively do anything.
Speaker 1: She was with a dude, and they were like in
Speaker 1: a social setting and then like the dude just like
Speaker 1: made a move on her and they just kissed for
Speaker 1: a couple of seconds and then she was like and
Speaker 1: then like she was very honest with me, which is fantastic,
Speaker 1: and I was appreciating that. But ever since then, I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, that's it's it's not you, it's them.
Speaker 1: But then it just gets like weird, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know anyway, Yeah, I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: that is hanging out with my friends is such a
Speaker 1: big part of my freedom and my identity that if
Speaker 1: a partner was not okay with that, then I just
Speaker 1: had immediately no, you know, And I feel like I
Speaker 1: always try to make make them really comfortable around that person,
Speaker 1: you know, like exposure therapy, Like all right, well we're
Speaker 1: gonna hang out. My friends are gonna you know, it's
Speaker 1: all of my friends, and he's gonna be there. You
Speaker 1: can talk to him, you can whatever. You can interact,
Speaker 1: you can not interact, but like, see how I am
Speaker 1: around these people, and you know, yeah, you're like the
Speaker 1: Spice girls, Like, yeah, if you want to be in
Speaker 1: my future again with my past, you know what I
Speaker 1: mean exactly yes, exactly. I've got a question. This friend
Speaker 1: group that we're talking about, now, where do they live? Like?
Speaker 1: Are they all Newport? Friends? Know, they're all in Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: We went to like elementary school together. It's very like
Speaker 1: towny Rhode Island, like we went to elementary school, high school,
Speaker 1: middle school, the whole bit. We know each other's histories.
Speaker 1: Like it's just that level. This kind of stuff happens
Speaker 1: in Rhode Island around a dramatic place. Like. There should
Speaker 1: be some more reality TV in the state. I know.
Speaker 1: I always said, yeah, my friends should have a reality
Speaker 1: TV show because it really is crazy. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I grew up in rdaland Boring raised. Yeah I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. I just I thought that you were East
Speaker 1: Coast and then you just moved to Newport for some reason.
Speaker 1: But it makes more sense. Yeah. Nice. Well what's your
Speaker 1: current While we're on the topic of sucking at dating,
Speaker 1: because obviously that's all we talked about your what's your
Speaker 1: current relationship status? Um? So I am dating and there
Speaker 1: might be a specific person that I am dating, Um,
Speaker 1: but I just don't think I'm ready to unleashed him
Speaker 1: to the world yet. You know, I've done some soft
Speaker 1: launches here and there, But I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: this weird thing where you feel like, well, we have
Speaker 1: to Instagram official involved, but you know, I just want
Speaker 1: to kind of keep it to myself for a little
Speaker 1: bit longer. You know. Yeah, there's been totally You're right
Speaker 1: to do that. Take as long as you need obviously. Um,
Speaker 1: I've got a question what what goes into the planning
Speaker 1: of a soft launch? Because do you do you do
Speaker 1: you guys discuss it together? Do you say, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: going to take a picture, but just about holding hands?
Speaker 1: What is like the what is the you know, the
Speaker 1: process there. I feel like the soft launches for me
Speaker 1: are just like candidates that either you know, a blurry
Speaker 1: face or not showing a face at all, just that
Speaker 1: kind of thing just to be like, oh, hey, like
Speaker 1: this is I don't mean, it's honestly, it's become so
Speaker 1: part of our culture now it's kind of stupid that
Speaker 1: I subscribe to this, but I just I mean, it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's just something you're like, oh, I have this person,
Speaker 1: but like I'm just not quite ready. But I just
Speaker 1: want you guys to know, because I do like sharing
Speaker 1: my life with people. But it's just different now, especially
Speaker 1: now that I have like a following. It's not a
Speaker 1: big following, guys, but like I got a little following,
Speaker 1: and I, you know, like, I do want to share
Speaker 1: those parts of my life. It's exciting, but y'all look
Speaker 1: crazy at the same job. Y'all crazy, and I don't
Speaker 1: trust you, you know, um, so yeah, and I just
Speaker 1: want to keep it to myself. And because so much
Speaker 1: of my love life has been all on TV and
Speaker 1: in like People magazine, and like, I just don't want
Speaker 1: that right now. And then something humble and sweet and
Speaker 1: just kind of to myself, you know. Yeah. And the
Speaker 1: appeal of a soft launch to me would be like
Speaker 1: there's less pressure because the second you are launch, then
Speaker 1: you get tied to this person for however long, And
Speaker 1: especially in the early stages of a relationship, when you're
Speaker 1: still feeling it out, it's like you don't really want
Speaker 1: that pressure, you know, Oh exactly, yeah, you don't want
Speaker 1: that pressure. And also it's the moment that I love
Speaker 1: I share that I'm allowing people to comment on it,
Speaker 1: and I'm allowing people to have an opinion, and I
Speaker 1: just don't feel like I'm at the point where I
Speaker 1: want people to have an opinion on my relationship, you know,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure. How can I just ask some very
Speaker 1: basic questions? How long have you guys been dating for? Um?
Speaker 1: Not that long? Um? I think a little over a month. Okay,
Speaker 1: so very new, very new, very new, very new. And
Speaker 1: how did you guys meet? Um? This is a great story.
Speaker 1: Did you guys meet you? Um? No, But it's so funny.
Speaker 1: My mom actually set us up. Oh nice, that's got
Speaker 1: to be a winner, slammed don home run. I know.
Speaker 1: And it's so weird because I'm like, Mom, what the
Speaker 1: hell like just giving my number? She's being so weird
Speaker 1: about it, and and so then she set up this
Speaker 1: like family dinner where I was going to be invited
Speaker 1: to like one of his family dinners, and I just
Speaker 1: had to show up and meet this guy, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the hell you should just given him my number.
Speaker 1: I was literally about to walk into a family dinner
Speaker 1: with this man and then he canceled, thank god. And
Speaker 1: then I just stand on Instagram and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna bypass this whole mom thing because I just
Speaker 1: don't think it's going to be the right environment. I
Speaker 1: love your mom, but yeah, so that's how it happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my mom set it up. Okay, another follow up question.
Speaker 1: It's been I'm just gonna say six months since Paradise
Speaker 1: has been filmed, um a Garrotteke. Who knows actually what
Speaker 1: how long it's been. What is it about this lucky
Speaker 1: gentleman that makes him so special that you see a
Speaker 1: relationship with them? Yeah, I honestly think that. Oh so
Speaker 1: after Jacob I was like, really, you know, all out
Speaker 1: of sorts, um, I think that this person just fits
Speaker 1: into my life, like perfectly, honestly every box that I've had,
Speaker 1: you know when they talked about boxes checking boxes. But
Speaker 1: we have the same values, we want the same things
Speaker 1: out of life, we want to live in the same place,
Speaker 1: we want you know, all of those things just kind
Speaker 1: of align. Morals, values, um, a sense of humor, all
Speaker 1: of that. I think it's definitely the future piece that
Speaker 1: really is like, okay, like this is someone I can
Speaker 1: invest my time into and feel good about investing my
Speaker 1: time into. There's no kind of like what ifs. It's
Speaker 1: just making the commitment and exploring each other further. It's
Speaker 1: not like, oh, well, you know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: our futures are going to align because what we want aligns. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's I think the most important thing to me right now.
Speaker 1: That's great, and you want to know it's so funny. Um,
Speaker 1: just in the same vein is when Caitlin and I
Speaker 1: started dating, I was like, wow, we're so opposite. This
Speaker 1: is never gonna work. And then it worked out. So
Speaker 1: I think that I could go either way. You could
Speaker 1: you could be like, yep, our futures are going to
Speaker 1: be on a similar path. Or in cal and Ice case,
Speaker 1: it's like complete opposite. She wanted marriage and kids and
Speaker 1: I didn't want any of those things, and yet here
Speaker 1: we are figuring it out as we go. Um, but
Speaker 1: I think I do think it's important early on to
Speaker 1: have like a clear set state of like what you
Speaker 1: want your future to encompass, and if you don't agree
Speaker 1: on it, then it just creates a few more obstacles
Speaker 1: for you to figure out and overcome later on. But
Speaker 1: if you don't have to overcome those obstacles and all
Speaker 1: the all the better, you know, right exactly, And it's
Speaker 1: like could That's another thing with Jacob is like okay,
Speaker 1: well Jacob's like from the West Coast, Like do I
Speaker 1: want to drag. Is he going to be willing to
Speaker 1: have a goat farm in New England? Like, let's be
Speaker 1: real here, like does he want to have a coastal
Speaker 1: goat farm with me? Probably not? You know, so just
Speaker 1: those kind of like big dreams that I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: willing to sacrifice, you know. Yeah, happened with this new relationship.
Speaker 1: Do you have when or you aspire to have one? Oh? No,
Speaker 1: I aspire to have one. I'm going to have a
Speaker 1: goat farm. Yes, for very nice. Everybody needs to do farm.
Speaker 1: I gotta say. Oh, I was just gonna say too,
Speaker 1: I really like your birth of Venus painting in the background.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Yeah much? Yeah, good old chili Love bought
Speaker 1: of chili. It took in our history class in college,
Speaker 1: so I know all about it, you know, I feel
Speaker 1: so right now. I know on cultured swine, damn, look
Speaker 1: at you guys. Uh, we do have a hot topic
Speaker 1: I want to get to. Before that, I did have
Speaker 1: something to say about what Jacob jill. Oh you were
Speaker 1: talking about your location. Because he's on the West coast,
Speaker 1: you're in the East coast. That is something that's so
Speaker 1: overplayed and yet so true. Because Ashley is going through
Speaker 1: right now. She's really struggling in Rhode Island and um,
Speaker 1: trying to navigate that. It's just tough because you know Dawson.
Speaker 1: We we have help now, which is fantastic, but um,
Speaker 1: you know, she's just she works a lot, but she
Speaker 1: works from home and she takes care of Dawson at home,
Speaker 1: and she doesn't have too many friends over here, and
Speaker 1: she misses her family down in Virginia and she misses
Speaker 1: the lifestyle of l A. So it's been a little
Speaker 1: bit of a struggle here. Yeah, the past few months,
Speaker 1: especially as you know, Jill, this is the most depressing
Speaker 1: time to be in New England. January for every March.
Speaker 1: There's just it's cold, it gets dark so early. Um,
Speaker 1: nobody's outside. So it's it's a little bit of struggle.
Speaker 1: But I feel confident once April and May get here,
Speaker 1: we'll be all right. Just grind through. Yeah, we'll get Yes,
Speaker 1: you guys, have a girl's night. You should text and
Speaker 1: have just like girls and I'll watch Dawson. I'll chill out.
Speaker 1: You guys, go like have dinner Newports. You would love that.
Speaker 1: Go get like nails done or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, um, we do have a hot
Speaker 1: topic that I do want to get to. There's one
Speaker 1: on here that I find pretty interesting because you guys
Speaker 1: know the new Miley Cyrus song Flowers. Have you heard
Speaker 1: about this? I have, Okay, of course, Jill has so, Dean,
Speaker 1: because I've heard about this as well. Have you seen
Speaker 1: the music video to Miley So Mile sizes come out
Speaker 1: this new song called Flowers and there's a music video.
Speaker 1: Do you know anything about Miley Cyrus's dating history, Dean,
Speaker 1: I mean just the main headlines. I think, well, she
Speaker 1: so she was married to Liam Hemsworth, you know, all right,
Speaker 1: So that's Chris Hemsworth brother. And then there's like allegations
Speaker 1: they broke up a while ago, and then there was
Speaker 1: like allegations that maybe he cheated on her or I
Speaker 1: don't really know the whole story, but I know that
Speaker 1: it's like it seemed like he might have been a
Speaker 1: dick in the relationship. I don't know if it's true
Speaker 1: or not. But what I will say is that our
Speaker 1: very own Brandy Cyrus. I say that because obviously she's
Speaker 1: friends with all of us here, and she's a wonderful
Speaker 1: human being. She does the podcast with Wells Adams Um
Speaker 1: your favorite thing. That's the name of the podcast. So
Speaker 1: Brandy talked about this whole Flowers fan theories, about my
Speaker 1: about Miley's new music video Flowers that has to do
Speaker 1: with Liam Hemsworth, so everybody's looking for the new Easter eggs.
Speaker 1: And Brandy Cyrus talked about Miley's new songs and all
Speaker 1: the tea and everything that's going on on TikTok now
Speaker 1: the song So Brandy, apparently this song Flowers came out
Speaker 1: on Liam Hemsworth's birthday, and Brandy goes, the song did
Speaker 1: come out on his birthday? Was that on purpose? I
Speaker 1: don't know. Can't say genius though. First of all, if
Speaker 1: Brandy is saying this, then it's true. Obviously Brandy and
Speaker 1: Miley talk. They're sisters, They're going to talk about these things.
Speaker 1: So even Brandy just bringing it up, come on, now
Speaker 1: you know that it's true. So it's definitely it feels
Speaker 1: like Miley released this song on Leon's birthday on purpose.
Speaker 1: And then she goes on in quote it says, it
Speaker 1: makes Miley seem like an absolute genius. It's just so good.
Speaker 1: Every day I wake up to a new theory. The
Speaker 1: first one was something about this Bruno Mars song, like
Speaker 1: there Liam played the Bruno Mars song at their wedding,
Speaker 1: and this is a response to the Bruno Mars song.
Speaker 1: So the song Flowers that Miley wrote has very similar
Speaker 1: lyrics to the song when I Was When I Was
Speaker 1: Your Man, which is by Bruno Mars. Like some of
Speaker 1: the lyrics that are similar are I should have bought
Speaker 1: you flowers and held your hand, should have gave you
Speaker 1: all my hours, bought bah blah, and a lot of
Speaker 1: these lyrics are very similar to the lyrics that Miley
Speaker 1: sings in her song Flowers. Brandy goes on to say,
Speaker 1: then there was the suit that she's wearing, which is
Speaker 1: the exact same suit that Lee him war to the
Speaker 1: Avenger's premiere where he told Miley that she needed to
Speaker 1: behave for once, and so this is a f you
Speaker 1: because she's in a suit. Brandy is saying these things.
Speaker 1: She goes on says, then the other one was the
Speaker 1: house where the music video is filmed Miles, iiris Flowers.
Speaker 1: That house is the house where Liam used to take
Speaker 1: people to cheat on Miley with. Uh. So, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like the fact that Brandy is playing into
Speaker 1: this and talking about all these theories, and then she
Speaker 1: goes on to say only Miley knows the truth, that
Speaker 1: she doesn't know if the theories are true or not,
Speaker 1: which I called b s obviously, So my point being,
Speaker 1: I think, in my humble opinion, the fact that Brandy
Speaker 1: is going on to talk about these theories and giving
Speaker 1: them the light of day makes me truly believe that,
Speaker 1: of course all these theories are true. That Miley wanted
Speaker 1: to stick a middle finger to Leam Hensworth that she
Speaker 1: actually wore the suit that Liam wore at the Avenger's premiere,
Speaker 1: which everybody saw on camera. So Dean's just so you know,
Speaker 1: when they were married, Liam and Miley went to the
Speaker 1: Avengers premiere and then she did this thing where she
Speaker 1: made it look like she like licked Liam on the side,
Speaker 1: because like you know, she's a rock and roller, so
Speaker 1: that's what she did. And then he mouthed, and obviously
Speaker 1: lip readers went in on this and said can you
Speaker 1: behave for once? And so he wore like this navy
Speaker 1: blue suit, and in this new music video for Flowers,
Speaker 1: she is wearing a navy blue suit at a house
Speaker 1: that apparently is rumored to be a house that Liam
Speaker 1: Hemsworth would bring people back to and sheet on Miley
Speaker 1: cyrus with while singing lyrics very similar to their wedding
Speaker 1: song The Bruno Mars when I Was Your Man. So
Speaker 1: obviously people are putting this together and saying all the
Speaker 1: rumors are true. Liam's a dick. Miley is awesome. Do
Speaker 1: you guys have any thoughts? I want to know Joe's thoughts.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think anything is the coincidence, you know,
Speaker 1: especially like on his birthday and all of that. And
Speaker 1: there's obviously going to be symbolism and all of that.
Speaker 1: And I think that the huge part of this song
Speaker 1: and this like music video was to get people talking
Speaker 1: like this because I think it. I mean, it's like
Speaker 1: super hyphen with charts, and I think just having the
Speaker 1: buzz surrounding this song have b theories, I think that's
Speaker 1: like fun. And also if some guy did you dirty?
Speaker 1: When did you want people to know? Like when don't
Speaker 1: you want people to talk about it? I feel like
Speaker 1: this is just like a nice easy way to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well just run with it, and who cares because they're
Speaker 1: just rumors at this point. Yeah, I as I it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to follow along like audiole when I
Speaker 1: hear these types of stories. But now that I'm like
Speaker 1: kind of skipping through the article, I agree with both
Speaker 1: you guys that there is no coincidence here and it
Speaker 1: definitely is intentional shade being through back at Liam Hemsworth
Speaker 1: and I. You know what, I I give Miley credit.
Speaker 1: It seems like some next level type of shade. And
Speaker 1: I think every scorned X wishes they could do something
Speaker 1: like this, Like this is, you know, to the nth
Speaker 1: power most like outrageous way to do it, but in
Speaker 1: the best way possible, but like it's what we all
Speaker 1: wish we could do as regular people. UM so credits
Speaker 1: a Miley. She's crushing it. It's crazy that they dated
Speaker 1: on and off for like almost ten years and then
Speaker 1: they got a long time Yeah, but then they got
Speaker 1: married in two thousand eighteen, but then announced their separation
Speaker 1: in August. So you're telling me they dated for on
Speaker 1: and off for almost ten years, got married, and then
Speaker 1: nine months later decided to give it a divorce. I'm
Speaker 1: so curious in relationships like that, what gives you the
Speaker 1: confidence after you're on and off for so long that
Speaker 1: you're like, Okay, let's get married because you had to
Speaker 1: have such confidence that you guys were going to be
Speaker 1: together for a very long time. But then literally eight
Speaker 1: more slater, You're like, never mind, this was a terrible idea.
Speaker 1: So I always like, what did you like? What gave
Speaker 1: you the confidence? I'm not saying it couldn't have worked out,
Speaker 1: but obviously it just wasn't there. I think it was
Speaker 1: also a really like small ceremony, like in her house.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think it was like okay, well we're
Speaker 1: wedding planning for X amount of months and you know,
Speaker 1: I think it made it might have just been like
Speaker 1: something like super quick, like all right, let's do this. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean when something like that happened so quickly,
Speaker 1: it honestly makes me think like, okay, something happened. Like
Speaker 1: it wasn't just reconcilable differences. It was like you did something,
Speaker 1: he did something, and so now I feel like we're
Speaker 1: now we're seeing like okay, like maybe this is a
Speaker 1: story behind what he did. It's interesting to know if
Speaker 1: it's true or not. So because I remember when the
Speaker 1: music video came out and then honestly, I didn't know
Speaker 1: about any of this until I started reading the rumors
Speaker 1: about the music video, which was obviously formulated on TikTok,
Speaker 1: and then they had all the videos of Chris Hen's
Speaker 1: worth from the Avengers premier is saying he definitely said
Speaker 1: can you behave for once? Like I'm not even a
Speaker 1: lip reader and I could have seen that as clear
Speaker 1: as day. And then they did another interview that they
Speaker 1: flashed to where like the reporter was doing the reporter
Speaker 1: thing where of course, you know, and this happens to
Speaker 1: me and Ashley all the time, which I could care less,
Speaker 1: but they would be you know, they were like Miley
Speaker 1: is amazing, She's she's the great, Like what did you
Speaker 1: do Liam to like deserve this, like trying, you know,
Speaker 1: really building her up? And you could tell he was
Speaker 1: just like a screw this, this isn't this isn't my thing.
Speaker 1: So there was definitely some tension involved. Isn't it Liam's
Speaker 1: brother that's the one that's an Avengers and Chris Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: so Chris is an Avengers and then Liam was what
Speaker 1: just a guest I guess at the premier. Yeah, he
Speaker 1: probably just went to support his brother. Chris is like,
Speaker 1: I mean, he's obviously got a huge acting career, I
Speaker 1: think he was in Uh, I don't know what he
Speaker 1: was in. He's been in a bunch of stuff. He
Speaker 1: was in the second Independence Date, but no one talks
Speaker 1: about that, I guess. I mean I could see. I
Speaker 1: could see where Liam's coming from, you know, like he's
Speaker 1: at his brother there's movie premiere and wants to make
Speaker 1: a good impression and Miley just being Miley. But like
Speaker 1: you said, it's like you dated on and off for
Speaker 1: ten years, you know what you're getting yourself into. Like
Speaker 1: if you didn't, if you weren't okay with that type
Speaker 1: of behavior, then you shouldn't have married this person. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like there's no nothing worse than a partner
Speaker 1: like stealing your sparkle, Like, there's nothing worse than trying
Speaker 1: to have to conform to be what somebody wants. And
Speaker 1: I feel like he wanted her to conform to the
Speaker 1: person that he had idealized in his mind, but that
Speaker 1: just wasn't her. And now I think after we're seeing
Speaker 1: like the renaissance of Miley and how she's like fully
Speaker 1: commended Rochelle and she's just not afraid to be yourself.
Speaker 1: But I feel like when she was with Liam, it
Speaker 1: was very like, Okay, we'll have to be who he
Speaker 1: wants me to be, and that really pisces me off.
Speaker 1: Like watching that, you can see like how like dejected
Speaker 1: she was after that. It's just heartbreaking. It's interesting too,
Speaker 1: because we talk about social pressures for us and people
Speaker 1: like this have so much more, like an unimaginable amount
Speaker 1: of social pressure. Um. But they also have a lot
Speaker 1: more money, so you know, it really evens out. It's true,
Speaker 1: that's true. Money it does. It doesn't equal, but you
Speaker 1: know how there's two lines in equal like it definitely
Speaker 1: gives you one line, you know, and then the other
Speaker 1: line is like you know, within your own spirit and
Speaker 1: all that crap. Um, yeah, just kidding. Well, Jill, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. You are the best.
Speaker 1: We love you so much. Um, everybody go follow Jill.
Speaker 1: What is your Instagram handle? Is it just ad Gilchin
Speaker 1: and it's Jilchren Underscore Children Underscore? Was there another? I
Speaker 1: think there's there's probably like ten thousand children? Is like,
Speaker 1: you know, that's well, it's bullsh you are the Gilchin,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So like, get rid of that.
Speaker 1: I've got I've got a funny thing about that. So
Speaker 1: Kaylin and I are both changing her last names obviously
Speaker 1: to Bell and Kaylin for whatever reason. Well, actually what
Speaker 1: we did was we hired this company too, because like,
Speaker 1: one of the reasons I haven't changed my last name
Speaker 1: yet is because of all of the paperwork involved with it,
Speaker 1: and it's just like so overwhelming. I don't even know
Speaker 1: where to start. There's this company. They send you a pamphlet,
Speaker 1: you fill out the information, and then you send it
Speaker 1: back to them, and then they go through all the
Speaker 1: legal processes to change your last name. So that's what
Speaker 1: we're doing. We're very it's so great, it's so so nice,
Speaker 1: and it's like forty bucks I think it could be
Speaker 1: on that but um, but the Klin went on Instagram
Speaker 1: yesterday and she was looking at like she's gonna she's
Speaker 1: Kaylin Miller Keys on Instagram and she wants to change
Speaker 1: it to Kaylin Miller Bell or Kylen Marie Bell or
Speaker 1: whatever it's gonna be. And every every um, every like
Speaker 1: iteration of her last name is taken by someone, like
Speaker 1: someone specific, not like just like a person with that name,
Speaker 1: like someone made an account with all of the names
Speaker 1: that she might want to have to like maybe ask
Speaker 1: her to buy it from them going on or something.
Speaker 1: And what I think it is is, I remember back
Speaker 1: in the days, Chad Johnson bought a lot of like
Speaker 1: you r l s and stuff of people of contestants names,
Speaker 1: and my money's on it being Chad do it. There's
Speaker 1: no way. So you're telling me that you think that
Speaker 1: Chad Johnson saw into the future and said at the
Speaker 1: time that he was buying all these domains. Oh, I like,
Speaker 1: I think this girl Kalin's gonna end up with Dean
Speaker 1: Dean and they're gonna both change their last name to
Speaker 1: Bell or do you think this is recent? It literally
Speaker 1: could have been any time before yesterday, you know, like
Speaker 1: it could have been a week ago, or a month
Speaker 1: ago or six months ago. Uh. And I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's Chad. I'm just saying it's a funny conspiracy theory
Speaker 1: because he has shown himself to do that in the past.
Speaker 1: But I do I do think someone did it to
Speaker 1: like take the names and search for some sort of
Speaker 1: financial recompence from I mean, well, it has to be
Speaker 1: a listener of this podcast us. How else would they know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean maybe it's a listen to the podcast. Maybe
Speaker 1: they follow Kalin on tick. I mean, I don't know
Speaker 1: who the hell knows. Maybe it's just like crazy coot.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's a crazy question, no e, just the one one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there is a Calin Miller Bell with no followers, no post,
Speaker 1: and no falling. Dude, someone definitely bought that. Someone definitely
Speaker 1: has that for you to buy it, that exact same thing.
Speaker 1: Zero followers, zero post, zero following. That was East and
Speaker 1: I bet uh for every iteration at Klin Bell, Kylin Miller,
Speaker 1: Keys Bell, Caitlin Underscore, Bell, like all of those are taken.
Speaker 1: So it's just funny. Anyways, that was That was my
Speaker 1: little anecdote about the gil Chin underscore. Ye Gilchin underscore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you might have to resort to underscores or whatever, but
Speaker 1: from this, this is what it is. It's crazy. There
Speaker 1: is multiple inneration, holy crap, and they're all zero followers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: conspiracy what about you did made by you? Yeah? She
Speaker 1: did say that there's a but a person actually named
Speaker 1: Dean Bell. But I'm not changing from Danny Babies. Danny
Speaker 1: Babies is here to stay. So Bill, did you ever
Speaker 1: think see you before? So Caitlin's going to change it,
Speaker 1: but not you. Well, I don't have my full name
Speaker 1: in it. She's got her full name as her Instagram handle.
Speaker 1: If I was Dean Angler, my brother changed his last
Speaker 1: name and his whole life he's been Balling Bu Ball
Speaker 1: and Brad Angler and then he changed his last name
Speaker 1: to Bell and for the past two years since he's
Speaker 1: changed it, I'm like, you have to change your Instagram
Speaker 1: handle from ball and Bu to ball and b B.
Speaker 1: He's like, well, no, everyone knows me as Balling Bu.
Speaker 1: There's no way I can change it. It's like, just
Speaker 1: just change it. Man, sounds good, but you does sound good? Um, Jill,
Speaker 1: did you ever think of doing like, uh, like, what
Speaker 1: would be a funny Instagram handle for Jill Chin? There's
Speaker 1: got to be something well I had. I was for
Speaker 1: a long time. All my social media before I went
Speaker 1: on the show, I was Kiuei, which Kinoe is like
Speaker 1: my dad's nickname from which is bad girl in Chinese,
Speaker 1: and so I was always Kinoee and I was like,
Speaker 1: people aren't going to be able to pronounce this or
Speaker 1: like find me whatever, So Kinee's going and then Jill
Speaker 1: Underscore had to be it. I think like my my
Speaker 1: Twitter is like Underscore chill chain or something like that.
Speaker 1: So I just had to make it easy to make anything.
Speaker 1: I think that's cool. I love yeah, but it's just
Speaker 1: for just the peeps that know me. Now. I remember
Speaker 1: when I came off The Bachelor at the first time,
Speaker 1: they were like pressuring me so so hard to change
Speaker 1: my Instagram handle. They're like, you should make it, make
Speaker 1: it Dan underscore hungler or make it something like more simple,
Speaker 1: and like people can find you easier, easier, And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, I am keeping Danny Baby. I wonder
Speaker 1: if they wanted to do that to make if, in
Speaker 1: case you were the bachelor. Oh yeah, to make it
Speaker 1: easier for people to find you, right if they can't
Speaker 1: have a Dannie Babies bachelor Dude, they definitely thought like
Speaker 1: they definitely were considering you to be bachelor obviously. I
Speaker 1: mean I signed then I signed the contract, so they
Speaker 1: definitely they knew what they were getting into and it wasn't.
Speaker 1: Here's the question for you, sorry, before we wrat what
Speaker 1: would have happened if you changed your Instagram handle? What if?
Speaker 1: Because that would have shown them then okay, maybe he'll
Speaker 1: play a ball and you know, work with us a
Speaker 1: little bit. And I wonder, like, what if they made
Speaker 1: you the Bachelor after that, because who was the Bachelor
Speaker 1: instead of you? Oh my dude. I mean, I love
Speaker 1: Ari so much. He's really good bad, but that's because
Speaker 1: I was thinking. I was like, I think it was
Speaker 1: supposed to be Peter Krauss And then, dude, oh my god,
Speaker 1: your life could have been so different if you change
Speaker 1: your Instagram handle for the worst. Obviously, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: That when we started, when they asked me to be
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, which they do to multiple people every year,
Speaker 1: When they asked me to be the Bachelor, it was
Speaker 1: after I had we had already filmed Paradise, and I
Speaker 1: knew that I was going to be caught with my
Speaker 1: foot in my mouth. And the only reason I said
Speaker 1: yes to being the Bacheldor was because I thought in
Speaker 1: my head it would give me a more favorable edit
Speaker 1: for the season that hadn't yet aired. And they said
Speaker 1: that too. They were like, yeah, you know, if you
Speaker 1: agree to this will make you look like better on Paradise,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, sign me up. I know
Speaker 1: I made a bunch of mistakes and I suffer the
Speaker 1: consequences of those um. But then I think it started
Speaker 1: airing and they're like, yeah, this is this is not this,
Speaker 1: this guy's a mass But it could have been the
Speaker 1: Instagram handle. Maybe that was the star that broke the
Speaker 1: camel's back. So who knows? Too funny. All right, well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for everybody who listened to this podcast.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate Jill once again, You're amazing. Please come
Speaker 1: back soon and obviously I will see you soon. Um,
Speaker 1: and thank you for everybody listening. Please email us all
Speaker 1: your thoughts about the podcast, follow us on help I
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating on Instagram. Um, we're not doing phone calls,
Speaker 1: I think anymore for the time being, so don't worry
Speaker 1: about doing that. But please, if you want to email
Speaker 1: us you're dating stories, we'd love to steal. Catch up
Speaker 1: with you guys, talk to you, give some advice or
Speaker 1: lack thereof, which is our specialty. Email us at I
Speaker 1: Suck a Dating at I heeart media dot com, and
Speaker 1: do us a favor too. I was on Spotify looking
Speaker 1: at our podcast the other day. We just don't have
Speaker 1: enough reviews, so let's just all do a blitz of
Speaker 1: giving reviews on Spotify. If that's what you're listening on,
Speaker 1: they could be five stars. That's preferred, but any amount
Speaker 1: of stars, I just want to I just want to
Speaker 1: up the number of reviews that we have, whether there're one, two, three,
Speaker 1: four or five stars. So if you're listening and you've
Speaker 1: got a couple of extra seconds in your day, jump
Speaker 1: on Spotify and just give it a review, because we
Speaker 1: don't have that many reviews and it hurts my heart
Speaker 1: just a little bit, and people like Jill deserve these reviews,
Speaker 1: you know. Thank you. Maybe I'll leave your review, yeah,
Speaker 1: start do it for Thank you so much for coming
Speaker 1: on the podcast. It was a great pleasure meeting you
Speaker 1: and getting to talk to you. Um, hopefully you're on
Speaker 1: this podcast too, and I know you guys are Rhode
Speaker 1: Island buddies, so I guess you'll see each other before
Speaker 1: um any of that happens, but who knows, But thank
Speaker 1: you so much again. Follow Jill on Instagram Jill Chin Underscore.
Speaker 1: Follow her on Twitter Underscore Jill Chin. Follow her on
Speaker 1: TikTok Jill Underscore Chin. Um any any type of underscores
Speaker 1: and jails and chains where that's where you can find her.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode.
Speaker 1: Be sure to tune in next week, where maybe we
Speaker 1: suck just a little bit less. Follow hell by suck
Speaker 1: at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to podcast