1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: Previously on Miller High Life Presents The Heavyweight Diaries. Alex 2 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:09,640 Speaker 1: wants to see you in the studio. Regretful choice is 3 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:13,240 Speaker 1: making my dogs sweat? Make my dogs sweating, My bare, 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: sweaty dogs was enough to get my dogs sending a 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,720 Speaker 1: gentle arc of dog sweat across the studio. At the 6 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 1: exact moment that Alex Bloomberg walks through the door, from 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 1: the tip of his nose, Alex Bloomberg wipes away a 8 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 1: bead of what he must imagine is chanelle number five. 9 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: But it is not Chanelle number five. It is instead 10 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 1: a bead of foot sweat from toe number five, the 11 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: great toe. I can tell from his hecto millionaire scowl 12 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: that Alex Bloomberg is not feeling overly chuffed. What's up, man, 13 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: Bloomberg says, suctuating his request for information about what is 14 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 1: quote up? Our loud, intimidating slurps from his Hambucha energy drink, panicking, 15 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: I toss my shoes and socks into a waste paper 16 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: basket in the corner of the room. Then I hide 17 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: my nude, glistening dogs under the table, just chilling out, 18 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: I assure my voice stuttering, cracking and screeching. Would that 19 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 1: I could be in front of my editing equipment, I'd 20 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: smooth out my words with EQ knobs and splicing levers. 21 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: But alas I'm operating in real time, my least favorite 22 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: of times. Things are happening at the speed of life 23 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: and it's making me nauseous. So I just wanted to 24 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: check in about how the new season of Heavyweight is 25 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: coming along. Bloomberg says, we've sold all the advertising space, 26 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: and the sales team is getting nervous. I'm told you're 27 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 1: not responding to any of their snapchat inquiries. It's coming 28 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: along riduculously amazing. I say ridunculously amaze balls, I mean 29 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: cool mode, Bloomberg says, When can I get a little 30 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: taste the normally ruthless Bloomberg is acting coy. He's been 31 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: asking me for months to play him what I've been 32 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: working on, but because I have nothing, each time I 33 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: put him off, always with some kind of diversion, stepping 34 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: into a garbage can, feigning a heart attack, having a 35 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: real heart attack, feigning a heart attack so hard it 36 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: becomes a real heart attack. But this time I decide 37 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: to man up, nay, to person up. Oh, just putting 38 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 1: the finishing touches to the pilot episode. I lie, let's 39 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: have a listening party in a week, Bloomberg says. We 40 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: can listen while eating healthy treats, and I add drinking 41 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: Miller High Life. Extending a pinky, Bloomberg says, pinky swear tentatively, 42 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: I extend the tip of my pinky. Bloomberg touches its 43 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,639 Speaker 1: nub with the tip of his pinky nub. Bloomberg's plump 44 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: pinky nub feels like a wedge of peeled tangerine. Pinky 45 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: swears are sacred, Bloomberg says, with what sounds like a 46 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: touch of menace totally. I say, swallowing hard. As we 47 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: rise from our seats and exit the studio, I pray 48 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: that Bloomberg does not cast as gaze downward and spy 49 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: my feet barefoot in along. Each of us sets forth 50 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: in the direction of the bathroom. For Bloomberg this means 51 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: the executive bathroom, the kind of comfort station one might 52 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: refer to as the facilities, And for me, this means 53 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: the public bathroom, where everyone from Timothy Nelson to the 54 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: FedEx delivery man voids their bowels with exuberance. Once there 55 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: I make myself comfy on the countertop, soaking my barefoot 56 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 1: dogs in a sink full of tap water. I pray 57 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: to God Timothy Nelson doesn't burst in and start making 58 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: small talk about decibels and frequencies and why in the 59 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:51,200 Speaker 1: world I'm washing my feet there are crumbs between my toes. 60 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: I might say, that's cool. Timothy Nelson might respond, is it? 61 00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: I might fire back, is it really? My tone will 62 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:05,479 Speaker 1: be testy, of course, because like most I don't like 63 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: interruptions when soaping down my dogs in public. And as 64 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 1: for Bloomberg, I imagine he's in his bathroom, eating a 65 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: charcoal broiled, garlic rubbed steak and drinking a goblet filled 66 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: with two bottles of Miller High Life, while seated atop 67 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: a dynamically warm toilet seat and staring thoughtfully out a 68 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: floor to ceiling window as the pale sun sets over 69 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: the Brooklyn skyline, while vigorously paper toweling my dogs and 70 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:47,599 Speaker 1: imagining just how beautiful smelling the executive lavatory must be, 71 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 1: how luxuriant and free of charge its beard unctions, and 72 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: how juicy the bowlful of expertly melonbald honeydew. Cold hard 73 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: reality sets in Blomberg is expecting to hear some of 74 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: the new season, and I have absolutely nothing whatsoever to 75 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: present him with. This has been chapter two of the 76 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: Heavyweight Diaries. With any luck, the new season of Heavyweight 77 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: will begin on September twenty sixth. Until then, you can 78 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: chart our progress each week with a new Diary update. 79 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: And remember the best place to listen to Heavyweight is 80 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: on Spotify. The second best place to listen to Heavyweight 81 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: is on the sound system in Alex's tricked out Camaro. 82 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: Heavyweight is me Jonathan Goldstein along with Jorgeos, Stevie Lane, 83 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: Khalila Holt, and b A. Parker. This episode was mixed 84 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,360 Speaker 1: by Emma Munger, music by Bobby Lord. Our ad music 85 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: is Vivaldi's Spring performed by the Wichita State University Chamber Players. 86 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: We'll have a new chapter of the Heavyweight Diaries next week.