1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: Buck it up, hold on tight, we got it. Call 2 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: you here. It is the strong, very lytic subject. How 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:11,480 Speaker 1: important is intimacy before marriage? Here? Stephen Shirley. I am 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: a young single female. I recently had a conversation with 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 1: a close male friend about relationships and sex. He told 6 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: me that from a man's point of view, a man 7 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 1: can never fully love a woman and give his all 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: to a relationship until they have sex. This blew my 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: mind because my girlfriends and I are with holding sex now, 10 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: and we really think that we are doing the right 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: thing by making men wait. I look back at how 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: many men I have turned away knowing that they just 13 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: wanted to have sex with me. If what my male 14 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: friend says is true, then I may have missed out 15 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: on a few good men. My male friend says also 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: said that sex does not overshadow all of the other 17 00:00:55,440 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: aspects that make two people to be compatible. My male 18 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: friend also said that sex does not overshadow all of 19 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: the other aspects that make two people be compatible. Okay, uh, 20 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 1: but it can definitely be a determining factor as to 21 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 1: whether or not a man will pursue a relationship. I 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: have not always made men wait, but hurtful experiences have 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: made me want to practice celibacy. Do you honestly think 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: that making a man wait for sex can cause him 25 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: to lose interest in me? Or will the right man 26 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: be willing to wait for sex? Please advise, Well, you're 27 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 1: a young single female, so you know I have to 28 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 1: tell you like this. You have to do what you 29 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: believe in. Okay. Don't let anyone take you off your 30 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,119 Speaker 1: game by telling you what they believe in and telling 31 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: you what they think you should do. Okay, So if 32 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: you're going to hold out, hold out, hold out for 33 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,919 Speaker 1: the right reasons though, and hold out for the right man. Uh. 34 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: You know, you said you're young, you you you said 35 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: all of that, you're single and everything. So please know 36 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,520 Speaker 1: that you will probably, you know, come in contact with 37 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: a lot of men who want to get at you. 38 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: A lot of men who are gonna say anything just 39 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: to get into your pants. I mean anything, you know 40 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: it sounds and they'll make it sound really good, you know, 41 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: and really tempting and all of that. So be aware 42 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: of that young single female. He knows you're young, and 43 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 1: he's trying to to see you know, if you're gonna 44 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: take the bait, if he can really get at you. So, 45 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 1: so don't be strong in that area. Stick to your beliefs, 46 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 1: and yes, uh, as impossible as it may seem, some 47 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: men will wait. Now depends on how long and all 48 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: of that. But some men will wait all right. Uh, 49 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: there are few and far between. I have to tell 50 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: you that they are few and far between. But it 51 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: doesn't matter what they do. It matters what you do 52 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: with your body. If you want to wait, you have 53 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: every right to wait. Steve, you you can just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 54 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: You can save it. You can put it in the freezer, 55 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,520 Speaker 1: what you can get it put down in some tubes 56 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: you know. You can store it in the lab. Okay, 57 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:19,160 Speaker 1: you can let it naturally close. Really really, you can 58 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: do any number of things you want to do. Kidding 59 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: me right now, I just want off right now. You 60 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: ain't got to do nothing, young lady. Because it's yours. 61 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: You have every right to treat it however you want 62 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: to treat it. You do not have the right to 63 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: just pass it out to anybody, which happens to be 64 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: a lot of millns ago. So now I'm taking aback 65 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 1: withs approach to try to teach you a lesson him. 66 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: He told you that from a man's point of view, 67 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: a man can never fully love a woman and give 68 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: her and give his all the relationship until they have sex. Now, 69 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: listen to me. He told you wrong, but he told 70 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: you right. See it's a funny way that he phrased 71 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: this to you. He said a man can never fully 72 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: love a woman and give his all in the relationship 73 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: until they have sex. What he told you wrong, But 74 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: he told you right. First of all, a lot of 75 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: men will give they all to a relationship mm hmm, 76 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: to get the sex, to get it. See, you can 77 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: get it all from a man. That is no limit 78 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 1: to what a man will do for it. You can 79 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: get a man to do through everything if they want 80 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 1: it bad enough. You can set the hoops up, set 81 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: them on fire. You can put a swim tank over 82 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: there with a shamou in it. We're gonna do whatever 83 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: want you want me diving here with shamou, ride him back, 84 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: feed him to fish, jump through these hoops, kill this cobra, 85 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: drank this raw egg, and then we're gonna have sex. 86 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: Watch what do you do. I'm going to get his 87 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: ass in that tank with shammou. You're going to kill 88 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 1: that covid even drank the raw egg because that's what 89 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: we do for the one we care deeply about. Now, Steve, 90 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,239 Speaker 1: why are you sound like you're talking crazy? Because sex 91 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: is one of the several things that we claim. Listen 92 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 1: to me, ladies, Sex is one of several things that 93 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: we claim. First of all, this is my girl right here, 94 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: we claimed at hey man, this is my wife right here. 95 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 1: We claim that this is my fiance right here. We 96 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: claim that the sex it's a separate item, Yes, it 97 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: that belongs to us solely, wholeheartedly. You can't pass it out. 98 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 1: We claim that. So that's what I'm telling you is 99 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: that he is right. He's telling you wrong, that me 100 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: and won't do anything. They won't love you completely because 101 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: they will. But sex is one of the things that 102 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: we claim. I clarified even more with a couple of 103 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: questions from the ladies about this when we come back, 104 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: because I know there's questions, all right. Uh, today's letter subject, 105 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: how important is intimacy before marriage? The subject of today's 106 00:06:54,760 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter, How important is intimacy before marriage? Let's recap. Uh, 107 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: this young lady got this close male friend telling her 108 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: that from a man's point of view, a man can 109 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: never fully love a woman and give us all in 110 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 1: the relationship until they have sex. That blew my mind 111 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: because my girlfriends and are withholding sex now and we 112 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: really think that we're doing the right thing by making 113 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: men wait, and you are the ones that won't wait 114 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: for you. See. Yeah, I don't know if you're saying 115 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: wait until marriage. Is that what she's saying in the letter? 116 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: But you're making them wait. I look back on how 117 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: many men I've turned away knowing that they just wanted 118 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: to have sex with me. If what my male friend 119 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: said to me is truth, then I have missed out 120 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: on a few good men having sex with you. It 121 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: sounds like she's just saying wait until she's ready, right, 122 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: So you're not saying my male friend also said that 123 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: sex does not overshadow all the other aspects that make 124 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: two people be compatible. I'm telling you the guys spot 125 00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: on with that statement. Sex does not overshadow all the 126 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: other aspects that two people be compatible, but it can 127 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: definitely be a determining factor as whether or not a 128 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: man will pursue a relationship. Now, see, you got it wrong. 129 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: He should pursue the relationship before the sex. So what 130 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 1: this dude got you thinking is you got to give 131 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: away the sex to have the relationship. That's what's backwards 132 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 1: about the statement. That's why I said the young man 133 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 1: is telling you wrong. But he's right. But if he 134 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: can get your mind turn around to thinking the only 135 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: way to have a relationship is that had a sex, 136 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,679 Speaker 1: then he got you in the trick bag right where 137 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: all of them won't you. But a man will give 138 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: you a relationship to get the sex. It's what I'm 139 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 1: trying to tell you. A man will treat you right, 140 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: A man will pull out doors, a man will respect you, 141 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,560 Speaker 1: a man will honor you. A man will make a 142 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: commitment to you to get to the sex. You just 143 00:08:52,559 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: got to under get an understanding that once the sex 144 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: has had that that ain't the end of it. And 145 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: the way you find out out is in the night, 146 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: the day probation period because if he set serious, he's 147 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: gonna be better. Though, right, doesn't sex make it better 148 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: if you want to go out again sex? But I'm 149 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: with you. Here's the deal. Here's what you're not gonna 150 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: do to act like you ain't been over here before. No, Well, 151 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: what you're not gonna do is act like you ain't 152 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 1: ever been in love and no matter how they give 153 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: it to you, it ain't good. You love it right here, 154 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: you and take your dog with your dogs and want 155 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:39,319 Speaker 1: to say that you have to love me to give 156 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: it to me. Trust me, you really don't. You really 157 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: don't have to, because nobody ever had you know what 158 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: I'm saying, You have to love me like me. You 159 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: didn't have to know me to get to me. But 160 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,720 Speaker 1: let's make it work, though, get your Do you have 161 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,920 Speaker 1: any questions about it? All right? For this young girl? 162 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: He really asked the question, will a man wait for sex? 163 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: Now that's few and far between. It's rare. No, it's 164 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: not rare. It's really not rare that a man will 165 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: wait for sex. You're not saying wait until you but yeah, 166 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 1: you're saying wait until you're ready, until she's ready. See 167 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: that's the problem. See you young girls and women out here, 168 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: y'all got me and got y'all thinking this up to 169 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: them when they get it or not, hies up to them, 170 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: and it's yours exactly. If anybody needs to be calling 171 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: shots on when this cookie get passed out and get 172 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,599 Speaker 1: dunked in the milk and get crumbled, it needs to 173 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,839 Speaker 1: be the processor of the cookie, and it ain't his 174 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: until he put a ring on it, no matter what 175 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: he says to you. But damn what he saying until 176 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: he wanted. So now what the problem is is he 177 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:57,319 Speaker 1: got they got y'all twisted. They got y'all thinking that 178 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: you got to give him some sex to have a 179 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: relationship him. And that's she's young, and that's what he's 180 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: doing to her. Well, and your best friend is young too, 181 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: because if he was a grown ass man, he'd tell 182 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: you the truth. But in his mind, he's saying it wrong. 183 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 1: But he right because in his mind that's how they 184 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 1: got it played out now. But that's why I said, 185 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,959 Speaker 1: she can't listen to what he says. She's got to 186 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: follow her own. You and your girls are doing the 187 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,199 Speaker 1: right thing. Until that blew my mind because my girlfriends 188 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: and I with with holding sex now and we really 189 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,320 Speaker 1: think that we're doing the right thing by making me 190 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: and wait, I look back at how many men I've 191 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,439 Speaker 1: turned away knowing that they just wanted to have sex 192 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,400 Speaker 1: with me. Wow, So you look back on all the 193 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,199 Speaker 1: men who just who just wanted to have sex with 194 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: you if you told him they're not getting no sex tonight. 195 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 1: And you ain't heard no more from or you ain't 196 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: getting no sex. This said, when we go out and 197 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: you ain't heard from him, You've done yourself a great service, exactly. 198 00:11:54,559 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: She must be in between relationship. You changed as as 199 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,719 Speaker 1: you got these two shows, and what haven't you. It's 200 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 1: just different change. It's just called growing up maturity. Yeah, 201 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: and you and that old dog skinning friend of yours 202 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: is older than me, So why y'all to talking to 203 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: each other about getting that right is beyond? I just 204 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: don't like the Steve here. I don't like what's different 205 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: about him. Why change? Just change? He changed? He just 206 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:38,240 Speaker 1: he's so different. But I'm gonna let you be making 207 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: you guys. Don't agree with him. He's making perfect sense. 208 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: He's making great sense. Oh my god, he's own point. 209 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: He just ain't my Steve. Yeah he didn't, he was, 210 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: you know, man, will wait So, I mean this show, 211 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,600 Speaker 1: I'm glad to hear that. And then your lady needs 212 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: to hear that too. She he definitely needs to hear it. 213 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: I ain't nobody, Yeah, wait for the rightning. Real men 214 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: who are looking for real men who are looking for 215 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: something will wait for you. Okay, pimps and players that 216 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: ain't looking for nothing, They ain't waiting for that's it. 217 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: Ain't that handsome. Your clothes don't jump off when you 218 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: see me. I have to wait right there. That's good 219 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: to come to. That's good to come I don't understand 220 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 1: body clothes jumped off. We gotta go, Okay, we gotta go. Listen. 221 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,719 Speaker 1: Email us your Instagram, what's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter? 222 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: At Steve Harvey f M or at my girls. Surely 223 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show